The Brothers and the Others
by ThePizzaLovingTurtle
Summary: Inkopolis and beyond is full of quirky, curious individuals. You know the ones, like a lazy Octoling troop, a theatrical egomaniac Inkling, or even a pair of silly squid brothers. In this world of ink-slinging, unstructured action, there's always somebody to root for. Cool, actually finished another arc. The Bate Brothers Adventures sequel/prequel/everything in between.
1. Irresponsible Octoling Entrance

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Inaba's** **First Day  
**

Octopia, Octropolis, whatever, it's a city underground. Octolings, Octarians, and others thrive in peace, living amongst ruined buildings and destroyed mechs. I mean, it's not exactly clean cut and peachy like the Inklings' homes up there, they get to frolic in their sunshine and grass and whatever, while we suffer underground, having to deal with their bull ship. That's where I live, Octropolis I mean. A decent apartment, with one of the best mothers you could ask for... I'd tell you how it looks, but honestly, I can't care much to remember. Too much unnecessary effort. I can tell you about my "new home", though, the Octarian HQ.

Hmm? Oh, right. What's up, my name's Tai, Tai Inaba. I'm fourteen. The Inklings, having won the Great Turf Wars a few years ago when I was just a small octopus, practically banished us to this codforsaken place. Sure, whatever. They won because some idiot decided NOT to plug in a Great Octoweapon. I mean, come on! I'm lazy, but that just takes the cake, how do you screw up your one job that badly? Wonder if that guy got fried to a crisp, wouldn't surprise me. ...Hmph. Anyways, I guess I should explain what's going on, this is my story, isn't it?

I'm an Octoling. You know, octopus, whatever the "ling" stands for, I don't care. I got four tentacles sticking down my head, I don't bother maintaining them in those "uniform" ways the other Octolings do. I also have a pair of Octoling Goggles, Octoling Armor and Octoling Boots, pretty light pieces of metal that are supposed to protect us or something. What's the point, really, they're really only good for a different fashion look, to be honest. Right now, I'm being enlisted into the Octarian army. I've already gotten a bunk, I'm sitting on the bed of it right now, but our leader, Octavio, an octopus dude wearing a samurai hat, is emphasizing that we get on official registration. Kinda stupid if you ask me, why bother registering when we can go out right now and krill those guys and take our land back? Stupid, I'm sure Inklings, despite being strong warriors, aren't that difficult to deal with!

"T-41!" A voice called, from the other wall of the bunk.

Scoffed. "Coming, Aussie."

"4U55-13! Remember that, you will address your superior like that for as long as you are enlisted in our army!" Aussie yelled.

That was my "commanding officer", or should I say, "always got her panties in a twist" Aussie. She offered to take me under her wing, but honestly, I couldn't care less. I just wanna kick some butt.

"Sure, whatever Auss."

With that said, hopping off my bed, I walked to the door leading in and out of my bunk and opened the door, which slid up automatically as I moved towards it. Not gonna lie, pretty convenient. Another door to the left opened and out walked the ever-nagging black and red colored soldier that is Aussie, a fellow Octoling who always seems to wear her Octoling Goggles, sort of a metallic mask with purple lights for eyes.

"We make for the main room at 0800 hours!" Aussie declared.

"So 8:00?" I asked, bored out of my mind.

"Precisely, rookie." Aussie nodded, a smirk on her face. "Forward march!"

I sighed and rolled my eyes even more bored somehow. "Whatever."

We made our way through a large hallway, weaving through other Octarian forces. Eventually, we trudged through a crowd, finding ourselves in a large room.

"Eh?" I muttered, looking around. "Whoa."

So, apparently, by main room, she meant a flipping party room full of dancing Octolings. Not gonna lie, some of them have some good moves. There were multiple tables, most seats were already taken, a bar, and a bunch of balconies from above where other Octarians were dancing on. The coolest thing had to be the fact that our leader, Octavio, was spinning records on a turntable onstage, overlooking all the Octarians. The beats were pretty sweet, almost hypnotic. Although to be honest, wasn't too alluring to me.

All of a sudden, Octavio paused spinning records, clearing his throat. "Octarians!"

The entire room looked over at the DJ, pausing in the middle of getting their groove on.

"I'd like to take this time to make an announcement." Octavio began. "I know the state of things is looking pretty unfresh."

The entire room nodded in agreement. Gotta agree there, my mom's been having some tough times since that war.

"But I know, with the help of our new recruits, we can all prevail against the Inkling forces. We have the firepower, ingenuity, and can we all agree, we're MUCH fresher than those hipsters up there."

Most, including me, present in the room chuckled at that.

"As soon as we get you all registered, we will face those Inklings in combat. I can't guarantee that all of you will come back alive…" Octavio stated morbidly.

The room fell silent.

"That's why we have a spawn point we stole from the Inklings here," Octavio stated proudly, motioning elsewhere.

A round metal platform was hoisted up on stage by two Octocopter troops who were hovering in the air. The platform was dropped next to Octavio.

"Thank you J3r-ry." Octavio nodded proudly..

"No problem sir!" The Octocopter I can guess was Jerry said, hovering off.

Octavio walked over to the spawn point and flicked it on using a switch on the machine. The machine whirred, and suddenly the round platform was lightly filled with a violet ink substance.

"Now, to demonstrate, we have sent an Octarian squad on a mission… Unfortunately, one of them didn't quite make it, the commanding Octoling officer to be exact. However, by combining Octarian technology, we have managed to extract her from the hot zone. Kinda like this."

A light from the spawn point emanated from the goop, and out popped an Octoling, who was gasping for air. The entire room burst into cheers, and the Octoling, who had just been respawned as far as I can tell, waved at us nervously, got up, and walked away. Everyone who had the ability to burst into applause, loud clapping and cheering followed the announcement, Octavio bowing pretty respectfully.

"Don't be afraid to go out fighting, a spin in the cycle will restore you to your original self!" Octavio declared. "Now with that out of the way, recruits, off to the training room for your entrance exam!"

"Wait, what?" I murmured questioningly. Exams? That sounds boring as all shell.

The crowd cheered, and most of the Octolings made their way out the room to the right of the stage Octavio was on, or more specifically, towards the entrance Auss and I came from.

"You heard the king, T-41. Off to the training room!" Aussie declared, pushing me away.

"Uh…" I managed, before being pushed away.

* * *

After a few minutes of getting dragged from, we all stood in a white room, with a few chairs and weapons laid strewn about.

Aussie waved me off. "Stay here and listen to further instructions. See you after the entrance exam!" She said, marching away.

Nodding, I turned around to face the room. By the looks of the basic white coloring of the room, I can bet it's going to be pretty high tech, maybe holographic battlefields or digital targets or something. My excitement was peaked, maybe this exam would be fun.

"Alright, Octolings, your objective is to blast away at the Inkling targets, which will soon be displayed in the firing range. Go ahead and take any weapon you see, try it out." Octavio's voice surrounded us.

I smirked. To my left, I spotted a simple, black and silver weapon with a small oval canister on top filled with violet ink. Picking it up, I aimed it towards the white, baring my fangs. In other words, I'm pretty excited I get to shoot things! Eee, I hope they fire back, it's going to be awesome!

...Ahem. The other Octolings nearby picked up Octoshots as well, aiming as well.

"Targets will appear in five, four, three, two, one…" A different, feminine voice called out, probably another Octoling.

"Heh…" I muttered.

Cardboard pictures of what appeared to be Inklings popped out. Can't say I was too impressed. Most of the targets looked like us, but had shorter, deformed looking tentacles, large teeth, eyes with huge black marks on them that covered nearly their entire face, and drool dripping from their mouths on clothing that looked like it was from ages ago. Something inside of me told me that this wasn't exactly accurate.

"Fire away Octolings, give them one heck of a scratch." Octavio's voice echoed.

I fired at the cardboard target, nailing it on its head, the evil Inkling falling back and splintering into a thousand pieces, now decorated with violet. My smile diminished slowly. Was it THAT easy? Another target popped up back in its place, so I did the same. It too shattered within seconds of my initial ink bullet. I could feel my eyelids droop, and I yawned as if I've been doing this forever. Target after target popped up, each one breaking.

"You know what," I said. "Nah."

So, naturally, to make this more interesting, I leaped into the target range, shifting into an octopus midair, landing on the ground, shifting back into my regular Octoling form as I landed. Oh right, Octolings can turn into octopi, though I'm pretty sure that's obvious. Landing in the target range, ducking and dodging friendly fire from my comrades, personally taking out their own targets.

"Wha?! HEY, YOU! CEASE FIRE IMMEDIATELY AND RETURN TO THE BARRACKS!" The feminine voice from before shouted.

I put my index finger to my chin. "Mmm…nah. This is much more fun."

"SECURITY!" Her voice screamed.

All of a sudden, a Splatoon of Octotroopers hovered across the white ground on their mobile metal platforms towards me, the ground underneath them getting doused with purple ink as they slowly...slowly moved towards me.

"...Oh my Coooooood, just lemme be." I yawned, simply walking away from the Octotroopers, who all sighed as they realized that they probably couldn't keep up.

I jumped from the firing range back into the barracks area.

"Oh, you REALLY did it now, rookie."

"DJ Octavio's going to punish you hard for that."

"Ah, whatever, I don't give a ship." I shrugged with a nonchalant wave of my hand.

They grumbled behind me. I smiled, rather pleased with myself until I bumped into Octavio, whose tentacles were crossed, the octopus sitting in some giant floating machine with robot fists and a turntable inside.

"Um."

"T-41, right?" DJ Octavio asked.

"...Yeah?" I said.

"Come with me." He said, hovering away, gesturing for me to follow using his giant robot hands.

I sighed, walking away with the octopus. Following the octopus through hallways, getting some less than friendly stares from other octopi, who I mostly stuck my tongue out at. I found myself in the room from before, the festive vibe now gone as everyone else had left. DJ Octavio snapped his robot fingers and suddenly, the entrances and exits to the room closed off. Nevertheless, I remained calm, staring him down.

"What do you want, Octavio?" I asked.

The octopus stared me down. Suddenly, he burst into laughter, pretty much catching me off guard.

"...Did I say something funny?" I asked, not too happy at his response.

"Sorry, sorry… You just remind me of your mother."

My face shifted into a frown. This guy knew my mom?

"Huh?"

"Your mother, Mrs. Inaba, right?" He said.

I stared at him for... I don't know how long.

"Ms. Inaba." I corrected him.

He chuckled again.

"Somewhat rebellious." He said, his eyes looking away, tentacles reaching for his turntable.

Taking a step back, I frowned again, aiming the Octoshot I picked up from earlier. "Whoa, hands away from there."

"What?" He asked.

"I've heard the rumors, you control Octarians with those. I'm no idiot," I hissed.

"Ah, that? I won't lie, I have used those before. But these records-"

Octavio lifted up the records from the turntable and rubbed the covers of the discs, which were just some random music discs with what appeared to have a red gloved fist on one and an irregular cross shape on the other. Tilting my head at the discs, I shrugged.

"These are just old records from extremely long ago. Can't blame an old octopus for wanting to listen to his favorite tunes, can you?" He said, putting the red gloved fist record back on, giving it an experimental spin.

The music that played briefly made a man yelling something at the top of his flipping voice, and the heroic stylings of a guitar, before Octavio stopped grinning.

"So...then, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Tai." He said. "You show potential."

"Really. That's cool I guess." I said with a shrug.

"I'm serious," Octavio said, lowering his voice. "With enough training, I'm positive you'll have the strength to-"

At this point, I pretty much bailed, I didn't really care what he was saying.

"Sure, whatever old man," I told him, walking for the exits, still blocked by doors. "I'm just here to stop Inklings from massacring us all. Maybe get paid, dunno, but I'm not here to become one of your 'elites' or anything. Thanks anyways."

Walking away, the doors suddenly opened as I approached.

"Hey. Thanks a lot." I said, walking away through the hall.

Octavio muttered something, then closed the doors behind me. I made my way through a metallic hall, back towards the barracks and target range. Once inside, I reached the inside, where a bunch of Octolings stared at me incredulously. Aussie, still inside, gave me an angry look.

"There you are! Where have you been, we've been shooting targets for the past twenty minutes, and I haven't seen you since." She huffed hands on her hips.

"Yeah, about that," I said, spinning the Octoshot I had. "That's what got me a 'talk' with Octavio."

Just then, Aussie's eyebrows rose in interest. She removed her Octoling Goggles, Aussie's eyes seemed to light up and her red irises glowed in a pretty... Not gonna lie, it was kinda cool. "...Is that so? Well done T-41."

"'Well done' my bass." I blew out of my mouth. "I don't care about this, you hear me? I'm just here because I have to."

"Then consider it a sign of good fortune." Aussie shrugged her shoulders.

Just then, another Octoling walked up to Aussie, not exactly as happy as she was. "4U55-13, she completely shattered the rules of the target range! You're just going to let this little bimbo go without a warning?!"

"Bimbo?" Aussie's eyebrow shot up.

"Bimbo." I blinked.

"Yes!" The other Octoling snapped her fingers.

Bimbo? Wow. That's a new one. Before I could argue anything, Aussie glared holes in the other Octoling.

"Might I remind you that you were the same person with an accuracy of twenty-eight percent three weeks in a row? If I were you, I wouldn't insult allies clearly superior to you." She said, shutting down the Octoling.

"R-Right, apologies commander." She muttered, walking back to the target range.

She nodded, then turned back to me, a strange bright present on her face. "You can thank me later. Wish to take another shot? Within parameters?" She asked, pointing towards the target range.

With a big smirk, I twirled the Octoshot. "Sure. Only if I get to bend the rules a little."

"Within parameters," Aussie repeated quickly.

Together, we walked towards the target range, aimed our Octoshots, and shot down those Inkling targets like the sons of squitches they were. Heh…

* * *

Well, that's me anyway. Here I am now, sixteen years old, bordering on seventeen in a few months. Now I'm stowed away in a cardboard box. Yeah, it's sorta weird, but none of the things I've dealt with have been entirely normal leading up to this point.

"Heh…" I snickered.

"Tai, are you alright in there?" A voice whispered to me from outside the box.

"Yeah, just fine Splinny boy, why'd you ask?" I asked in a teasing, sweet voice.

"...Nevermind, you're fine." He sighed.

I snickered. "Thanks for asking."

* * *

AN: And here's that spin-off story I mentioned earlier. Basically going into more detail on some of the others in the Bate Brothers' universe. I recommend reading that if you want a little more understanding on some of the characters, but for those just tuning in, I'll try and detail their whole back stories and other adventures in their own rights without having to ask people to go read the Bate Brothers' Adventures. In the meantime, I'll be working on the next chapter, thanks for being patient in advance! Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to play Paper Mario TTYD, see you when I see you!

By the way, this was an experimental chapter. Most of the ones after this will be in third person mind you. I can't embody my characters as well as I would like!

AN II: Wow. I uh, neglected to properly check this chapter before it was sent out. How embarrassing! Good thing there's always editing in post. ...In post of post in this case.


	2. Egomaniac's Beginnings

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Son of War**

Hi there! My name is Ari Jabin, I'm fourteen! Oh yeah, I'm an Inkling, too. Mom says I need to get better at my heroic monologues if I want to be a popular Inkling that gets fame and glory, so I'm practicing by talking to myself. Inklings are like…squids, except they stand on two feet, have black rings around their eyes, and only have some tentacles on their heads. I hope that was a good enough explanation, I'm still getting used to this whole, "narrator" stuff. Today, or rather, tomorrow, is the day I first set foot in Inkopolis, because we're moving there from Splatlake City! So excited, even though I'll miss this city, amazing place, you should visit sometimes. Oh, wait hold on, I almost forgot what I looked like!

I have orange tentacles and tan skin, as well as green eyes! The tan mostly from all the beaches mom and dad brought me to when I was a small squid for vacations and stuff. For my birthday, I got a Jungle Hat, I wear that above my Basic Tee and Cream Basics, but I'll make sure to get cooler stuff later.

"Hey! Don't forget me!" A voice called out from behind me.

I smiled, turning around. "Of course I wouldn't, Sari."

Sari's pretty much my favorite cousin. Well, she's really the ONLY cousin I know, but that doesn't stop me from being my favorite. She wears a little plain white headband, as well as a Basic Tee and Cream Basics like me, orange tentacles dropping from her head. She also has my skin color, and the same green eyes as I do.

"Not to mention I would follow this guy to the ends of the earth," Sari stated, hugging me.

"Aw, thanks. Hey, I feel like you would be better off narrating than me!" I told her with a bright grin.

"What? Can you picture me going around declaring and pronouncing?" Sari asked, standing up. "'Look at me, I'm the great Sari!'"

Laughing at her antics, I gave her a playful nudge. "Yeah…but if I'm honest...I'd totally do that."

Sari smirked. "That'll be the day."

We sat together in my room, a small place with hardwood floors and a simple grey wallpaper, decked out with a few posters of one of my favorite bands, a bunk bed in the very back. Together we were laughing and telling jokes, until we could hear someone speak. Turning towards the door of my room, we carefully walked up, and put our ears to the door.

"Ares."

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to talk to you about, you know…"

"Our son? Heh, he's an amazing kid ain't he?"

"Y-Yeah. I just wanted to ask...when are we going to send him to school?"

"...What?"

"He's great at Turf Wars and all…but I'm afraid if we don't do anything, he could be sent down the wrong path."

"...He doesn't need any fancy education or anything. He's fine the way he is, he could very well be the greatest squid Inkopolis could have ever known."

"Ari is just a squid, Ares! You can't possibly expect him to grow without some form of education!"

"Ari will do JUST fine! Have some faith in your son, Zuchi!"

"I DO have faith in him! It's just-"

Looking at Sari, I could tell she was as equally worried about their current state-of-affairs. Not wanting to let this go on any further, I opened the doors and burst out of my room, into a hallway. "Stop fighting!"

My parents turned towards me. Standing in the hall were Ares and Zuchi. Ares is a very muscular Inkling, with that biker getup, boots, jacket and all, even a pair of sunglasses, with a hardened, war veteran face with an x-shaped scar on his cheek. Zuchi has a similar biker look, but without the sunglasses, she just lets her tentacles flow in a little ponytail. You might think that with their looks this could be an extremely dysfunctional family, but I actually love them a lot. They're pretty cool, using money from their time in the Great Turf Wars and stuff to provide for me and Sari. I sometimes address them by their first name because my mother insists that names are important, and that titles aren't completely necessary. Unfortunately, my parents aren't always 100% in sync with one another.

"I don't like it when you fight…" I said, stepping back.

Zuchi sighed, pursing her lips. "We aren't fighting, Ari...we're just…"

"Having a heated conversation, son." Ares said with a face that attempted to say, "Everything's-fine-don't-worry".

They always call it that. Whenever they fight, the call it a "heated conversation" as if they don't want me to get upset. It doesn't convince me in the slightest.

"Again? Guys, please, you don't need to fight… Really, especially over me." I said.

"'Heated conversation'." My mother corrected with a reassuring smile.

"...It's fine Ari, just...go to bed, we've got a big day tomorrow, remember." My father said, waving me off.

Biting my lip, (making sure not to tear into it with my squid teeth) I sighed, walking back to my room. Sneaking a glance as I left with a heavy heart, I walked back inside, closed the door, and sighed.

"Another argument?" Sari asked.

Nodding, I fell to the floor in exasperation. Now I just stared at the ceiling, keeping a careful ear on the door.

"...Sari? I need to ask you an honest question." I asked.

"What is it?" She asked back.

Taking my face from looking at the ceiling, I stared at her. "...Do you think mom and dad are going to get a...divorce?"

Sari paused, looking away for a moment. "That's...um, kinda hard to say. It sorta does seem like a tough love right now, the two have been arguing for weeks, Ari."

"...Yeah." I said.

The two of us sat in silence on the floor, awkward silence to be precise.

"...But you know, if that does happen…" Sari began, looking at me. "You'll always have me, cousin, no matter what happens."

I smiled. "Thank you, Sari."

"Anytime, Ari. I think I'm gonna hit the tank."

"Seaweed. Hit the seaweed." I corrected her.

"Potato tomato," she fired back with a smirk as she stood up and began walking away. "And I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter, I was right anyways."

"Alright, sure." I said, not wishing to get into one of my own, "heated conversations".

The two of us walked away to a large bunk bed at the back of the room. As always, Sari took bottom bunk, letting me get top bunk. Climbing up a ladder to the bed, I flopped down on the mattress, and slid under the covers, shutting my eyes, and going to sleep.

* * *

Today was the day. We were leaving our humble abode behind, as well as the great city of Splatlake City, traveling all the way to Inkopolis in two motorcycles. Yeah, the biker getup wasn't for show, my parents have their own motorcycles, they're colored sort of like the Blaster weapon you see in Turf Wars, you know, flame decals over a black paint job. I hung onto the back of mom's, while Sari sat with dad on an adjacent motorcycle next to us. Our luggages and such were being transported in a moving van, and honestly I don't see why we could've done that like a normal person. But mom begs to differ:

"Motorcycles are a more, 'bold' choice, Ari. Think about it: Entering Inkopolis on a wheelie, the flames of the motorcycle shining bright as we pierce through the city limits, making a dramatic entrance even the Squid Sisters would swoon at!" Zuchi said.

...Isn't my mom so cool? I wanna be as dramatic as her when I get older. Of course, dad isn't exactly too fond of that.

"We don't need extra narrative in our lives, hon." He said, sighing.

"It's fun though, isn't that right Ari?" She said, nodding at me.

Nodding back, I smiled. Ares rolled his eyes, then turned around and peered down at my cousin.

"How you farin', Sari?" He asked.

"Peachy, uncle." She told him and pumped her fist in the air. "Let's get this show on the road!"

"Alright then…" He said, revving his engine. "Let's ride!"

My parents practically twisted their motorcycle accelerators to oblivion and back, the bikes speeding up, quickly speeding through at a speed I'm pretty sure that would've gotten us arrested, leaving the moving van and our old house in the dust. I held on to my mother's jacket for dear life, afraid of getting completely shredded by the rear wheel, while Sari cheered me on.

"Yeah!" She smiled.

"OH COD PLEASE DON'T LET ME FALL!" I screamed in a manly tone.

"I wouldn't dream of it." She announced with a smile.

"Letting you die before you see Inkopolis would be the very last thing we'd EVER want to happen." Ares told me with a grin.

"Th-Thanks?!" I said.

"You're welcome, boy! Hold on tight, because we're speeding up!" He said, revving the engine further.

"We're already accelerating at the speed of sound, how much faster could we go?!"

Ares grinned, his white beak flashing for a moment.

Zuchi sighed. "Ari, you know better than to ask your father questions like that."

"Why don't we find out then? Zuchi, first one to Inkopolis has to pay the rent!" Ares laughed, speeding away, leaving a huge trail of dust blown up into the air.

"Well, you brought this upon yourself son. Now you'll see the speed and power of the cods, right about-"

The motorcycle made a loud revving noise.

"Now!" Zuchi said.

Both of us gripped the motorcycle, albeit for different reasons. Zuchi revved the vehicle up, allowing it to travel at an extreme speed, and the two of us sped off towards Inkopolis, with me hanging on by a thread, my eyes totally not tearing up or anything.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Th-That wasn't me, by the way.

* * *

After a normally terrifying bike ride, that wasn't scary at ALL to me, we finally arrived in the streets of Inkopolis, as dictated by a sign that said, "Welcome to Inkopolis!". You know, in case it wasn't too obvious. The motorcycle was finally slowing down to a speed that would guarantee that my tentacles wouldn't fly off. I slumped back in the seat, letting my head bump onto the pavement.

"You okay, squiddo?" Zuchi asked, hopping off the bike, making sure to park it.

"Uh, just fine, mother! I'm completely unharmed by the wild winds of the...north?" I attempted to explain in a melodramatic voice. "Was that good?"

My mother snickered. "Maybe someday Ari, maybe someday."

Sighing, I got up to my feet, and stretched, making sure that all of my organs and suckers were all in the right places.

"Where's father and Sari?" I asked.

Zuchi shrugged. "Well, if I know your father, past all of the arrogance...he should be arriving soon."

Speak of the devil, the two of them nearly crashed into a building, skidding to a stop precariously close to the cement walls. Ares breathed a sigh of relief, turning around to look at Sari. She was frozen in fright, her eyes wide and beads of sweat pouring down her face. She fell back on the motorcycle, and coughed.

"Wheeze…" She said.

Like that. Ares gently slung her over her shoulder, and sheepishly grinned.

"Ares…" My mother began.

"She asked for it." He said with a shrug, Sari stirring somewhat. "Anyways, we're here."

Ares looked behind him. The building he almost crashed into had a sign on it saying, "Flounder Heights" in Inkling. Looking over the building, I realized that this was only one apartment building. Looking around, I noticed dozens of other buildings in the apartment complex, as well as one large, at least ten story building being constructed in the middle.

Zuchi smiled. "What do you think, Ari?"

"It's amazing. Spectacular." I said, almost breathless.

"Heard that the new building they're constructing over there is gonna be a Turf War location sometime in the future." My father said with a grin.

Sari perked up on Ares' shoulder. "You mean we'll live here AND play Turf Wars here?! Ari, that sounds awesome!"

I smiled. This was a pretty good start. Ares, Zuchi, Sari and I began walking into one of the main buildings, entering an office, where a receptionist stood. After a lengthy talk with the receptionist, we were finally given access to our room. Another lengthy ascent up a flight of stairs later, we made it to our apartment room, or the door at least. Upon opening the door, we were greeted by a luxury suite, multiple beds with the fluffiest comforters and pillows crowding the mattress. The apartment was huge, about the size of a small house. Most of us just focused on the comfortable looking beds rather than the size and scape though.

"Whoa! How'd they furnish this room so quickly?" I asked.

Ares grinned, tossing a couple gold G coins up in the air. "Money talks, kid."

Sari, already extremely exhausted from the motorcycle ride, flopped down on one of the beds in front of her, shifting into squid form, letting her tentacles fall on the covers, sighing contently.

"This is awesome," Sari muttered as she spun around, taking in the sights.

"Glad you like it, Sari." Zuchi said. "Ari, you alright with sharing a bed?"

My face flushed crimson. "I'm not a little squid, mother!"

Ares rolled his eyes. "It's just sleeping with your cousin, what's the matter with that?"

I frowned at my father.

Zuchi frowned. "Way to make it weird, hun."

Ares chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Err, in a platonic way."

Sighing, I walked over to the bed Sari was resting on, and flopped down next to her, stretching my limbs. My eyelids were already drooping.

"I think I'm going to take a nap," I said.

"Alright, Ari. See you when you wake up." Zuchi said, waving.

"Don't let the bedbugs bite," Ares added. "Because they will attack."

"Ares…" My mother sighed.

"Those things are vicious," Father said with a snicker.

Rolling my eyes, I drifted off to sleep, not at all prepared for what would wake me up very, very soon.

* * *

I woke up with a start. Sounds of crashing and fighting alerted me. Rubbing my eyes, I leaped off the bed, landing on the floor, got up, and began trying to wake up Sari.

"Sari! Wake up! There's trouble afoot!" I said, shaking my cousin.

"Hmm- Wha?" She murmured, getting to her feet, stepping off the bed.

Worriedly, we quickly searched the house for the sounds, and lo and behold:

"Ares! Stop being shellfish, he NEEDS to enroll!" Zuchi yelled.

"Pushing him that hard isn't going to do anything! You always ramble on about how 'great' he is, so YOU of all people should understand that going to a chump school is just going to hamper his skill!" Ares yelled.

"His skills aren't yet perfected! If he goes now, he'll be crushed! Cod's sake Ares, why don't you ever stop and listen?!"

"Zuchi, shut up! He will be fine without your bullshrimp school!"

We could hear them having another "heated conversation", which was quickly ended by the sharp sound of a smack. Both of us cringed, sneaking around the corner, where Ares stood with a red, tentacle shaped mark on his face next to his scar, Zuchi standing by holding her tentacles like a whip. Enraged, my father snapped back, gripping her by the collar of her jacket, about to slam her in the face.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" I yelled.

Both of them snapped to me.

"Unhand her," I demanded.

"Ari-"

"LET GO OF HER, NOW!" I screamed, taking a step forward.

Then my father did the last thing I expected him to do. He began tearing up. Releasing my mother, he clenched his fists. Zuchi grit her teeth, tears streaming down her face as well, walking over to me and Sari, crouching down behind us and cautiously gripping us by the shoulders.

"C'mon guys. We're leaving." She said, walking away, attempting to drag us.

"They're staying HERE," Ares growled.

"..."

Both Sari and I were at a loss for words. The two of them stared at each other for what felt like a millennium.

"...Ares. I'm DONE arguing. Ari...Sari...stay safe, and keep your father in line." Zuchi hissed the last part and stormed off.

"Hmph," Ares grunted, walking away to a secluded part of the apartment.

All we did was stand there in shock.

* * *

Uh...yeah. This is kinda awkward...but...that was the last official "heated conversation" Ares and Zuchi ever had. I still have yet to understand why they got so angry over school. I just wanted us to be the greatest family ever, then this happens?! ...Aside from that, a bit of a court battle ensued later, and, well...dad kept us, and mom's been away for quite a while. I haven't seen her since, but I've seen plenty of dad, he's been trying to flirt with new women and fail, as well as be less than nice to me and Sari. But hey, it hasn't been all bad. I met two other girls in Inkopolis today, and they seem pretty nice. Think their names are Rit and Bas? ...sigh. Yes, I just said SIGH.

...Even if they can't get back together, I just want them to be friends. Happy. I'll make sure as the son of the Jabin family, I WILL make things right. I will bring honor to our family name one way or another, and make things perfect...I will. Somehow…

* * *

"Hmm…"

"Hey, Ari?"

"Mmm? What is it, glorious cousin of mine? What do you wish to ask the great Ari?"

"You've been staring at the sky for a while now. You okay?"

"Uh, of course, of course! Just reminiscing, nothing to worry about."

"...Right."

"But thank you for asking anyways, Sari."

"...You're welcome, Ari. You know I'd follow you to the ends of the earth if needed."

"Heh. Thanks Sari."

* * *

AN: That's a bit of insight into Ari's past. Sorry if I made it too melodramatic, but considering how melodramatic Ari himself tends to be, I hope and at the same time wonder whether or not this was fitting enough. Oh well. Don't worry all you humor fans, I'm planning on something in the future to sate your Bate Bros. humor needs.

Time for the first review call of the new year! Thanks Ultrapyre for reviewing! The character bios are one thing, but I also plan on some hopefully non-linear adventures with the Bate Bros. too where they don't have to adhere to an overarching plot.

But anyways, thanks again for reading guys, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I really need to practice my video game...game, especially for the Past vs. Future Splatfest. See ya in another time!


	3. The Brothers and the Generic Time Plot 1

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **The Future is in the Past! Part 1**

In Inkopolis, a variety of festive lights, pictures, fireworks and other celebratory artworks were displayed all around the city, most of it concentrated in one area: Inkopolis Plaza. Inkopolis Plaza had to be one, if not **the** shining gems of Inkopolis, as it is generally considered as the number one spot for the thing all squids, or at least most squids, love. Turf Wars. The center of the plaza is surrounded by a multitude of different buildings, ranging from the one stop shop destination known as the Booyah Base, the Squid Sisters' Studio to watch the two darling idols of Inkopolis, the Squid Sisters themselves, perform live on television, but most Inklings of this age of...somewhere far in the future of Earth which I'm not willing to disclose are generally ready to perform in Turf Wars, games Inklings compete in where they must coat the ground with their ink. The reason that the plaza was so lively, however, was because this was a celebration of sorts, a Splatfest, an event held in Inkopolis ever so often, where Inklings choose between two sides of one or two particular subjects.

But enough of information most of the viewers probably know by now, this is solely about our heroes and the adventure they are about to have. Speaking of which, our protagonists of this particular chapter in the story are just about here now! And by here now, I mean hurdling through the sky.

* * *

Two blue squids were currently falling from the sky, heading towards Inkopolis Plaza. Despite the sheer oddity of it all, the squids looked forward with rather indifferent expressions, as if they've done this before forty-something times. The two squids were just about to slam into the asphalt of the plaza when suddenly, they changed form into Inklings. Arms and legs sprouted from the tentacles as did their stout, round heads pop out from their arrow-shaped squid heads. These squid humanoids skidded to a stop, landing nearly harmlessly in the plaza, until momentum decide to stomp its foot down, launching the two onto the floor.

"Ow," One of the Inklings muttered, getting up, dusting himself off, "Still haven't gotten it down."

"Give yourself some credit Splin, That one wasn't too bad!" The other one piped up.

The two Inklings stood up and faced the Inkopolis Tower. Splin dusted off his Black Anchor Tee and lifted himself up, taking care to arrange his Designer Headphones around his neck. While he crouched down to fix his Orange Arrows, the other Inkling took a deep breath. Wearing his Takoroka Mesh with pride, he too dusted his White Anchor Tee off, and giddily ran about, his Banana Basics dirtied with dust. The two of them shared the same tannish skin tones, as well as brown irises that studied the tower in different ways.

Splin studied the tower carefully, a giant catfish wrapped around its green exterior. "Well, good to see that the Great Zapfish is fine."

The other one eyed the tower, smiling like a buffoon. "How you doin' Zapfish?"

The catfish wrapped around Inkopolis Tower stared back.

"Good to know!"

"Why wouldn't the Zapfish be fine, Sharq? He sits up there all day," Splin said and gestured to the catfish.

"Well, how were we supposed to know before, Splin? After all, it doesn't talk much." Sharq told Splin as he pointed upwards.

"Well, you have a point there. Come on, let's sign up for the Splatfest. Maria, for whatever reason, wants us home by ten, and Cod help us if we accidently delay a second longer than needed." Splin said, hand on his hip.

"Come on bro, Maria's a nice lady! She'll understand if we have a few Turf Wars before the night's over." Sharq reassured Splin, grinning.

"And if she doesn't?"

Sharq shrugged. Shaking his head, Splin walked to his left, approaching a table of sorts. Behind the table was a bulletin board with two large pictures posted on opposite sides of each other. One shown a dinosaur amidst a prehistoric landscape, and another one shown a futuristic utopia with U.F.O.s flying above buildings.

"Hmm...I'm not too sure what I want to choose, to be honest. Both are solid options, you return to the past to relive memories and such, or travel to the future and see what has improved. Difficult…" Splin said, looking over the options.

"Well, it's a good thing I brought-" Sharq reached into his shorts pockets, and somehow pulled out a glowing cube that was much larger than the pocket space itself. "Tele-Cube!"

"Wha- Sharq, seriously?" Splin said, facepalming. "Already? You're bringing the space-time object?"

Sharq nodded gleefully as the cube vibrated just as happily. "Uh-huh!"

Splin's tentacles drooped off the back of his head. "Why?"

"I didn't have a coin to flip. So this guy-" Sharq began, pointing towards the cube, which flashed in response. "Will act as a coin toss!"

"That's uh- How would that- ...Why?" Splin said, at a loss for words.

Sharq shrugged, adjusting his cap. "Which will you pick? Heads or tentacles?"

Splin looked at the cube. None of the sides had any form of heads or tentacles to speak of. Sighing, Splin reached for the back of his head, and pointed to two tentacles sticking out as they slowly began to fall lower.

"Tentacles it is!" Sharq said, gently rolling the cube on the ground like a dice.

The cube flashed a bright light.

"Oh, ship!" Splin cursed.

* * *

Splin and Sharq opened their eyes. Splin instinctively raised his hand flat above his eyes as to act as shade, while Sharq blinked as to get the glare of the sun out of his eyes.

"...Wait a minute, sun?!" Splin gasped, looking around.

That's right, sun.

"Oh, hi voice!" Sharq nonchalantly greeted the author.

How's life been treating you squid kid?

"Good, well, minus the fact we're stranded somewhere completely unknown and different, but good!" Sharq said.

"Hmm…" Splin murmured.

Surveying the landscape, most of it was orange and brown dust, with the occasional tumbleweed that blew by. Few rock structures dominated the land while weeds underneath poked out from the earth and stretched toward the sky.

The Tele-Cube lay dormant on the ground beside them, glowing dimly. Splin sighed, assuming they were trapped in some sort of wasteland until he turned around. Splin came face to face with what he recognized as the dinosaur on the Splatfest poster. Except here it was much taller. And scaly. With huge, menacingly sharp teeth.

Splin frowned at it. "Oh."

"What's up Splin-" Sharq asked, whirling behind him, also noticing the dinosaur.

All three of them stood in silence. After a while, the dinosaur stooped down, took a sniff of the two Inklings, then somehow licked its lips, deciding that calamari was definitely on the menu today.

"How do you run from this thing?" Sharq asked.

Splin cleared his throat. "...I don't remember. I haven't gone to a museum in-"

The ginormous lizard roared, shaking pebbles on the ground and filling the air with a deafening sound.

"Very, very, quickly."

The two of them switched into blue squids, and frantically hopped away, Sharq taking the Tele-Cube with him. The dinosaur grimaced, then roared, pebbles lying down on the ground shook from the mighty vocal exercise. Splin and Sharq slid down an incline, taking shelter behind a large rock below.

"Do you think we can take it?" Sharq asked.

Splin adopted a thinking face, then peeked out of the safety of the boulder, immediately retreating when the reptilian rapscallion chomped at the air just above him.

"I dunno Sharq, we have no weapons, we obviously don't have super strength, and the…"

Dinosaur.

"Is RIGHT ABOVE US!" Splin yelled.

The dinosaur backed this statement up with another snap towards the boys' tentacles, snagging Sharq's cap in one of his teeth.

"Hey!" Sharq protested, reaching for his cap.

"Sharq, what are you-"

The dinosaur lifted its head, dragging Sharq's cap and to that extent, Sharq itself up into the air. Sharq squirmed, slamming his fist on the dinosaur's teeth, the dinosaur dropping him and the hat, growling somewhat. Sharq landed on his back, shaking off the fall quickly, placing his cap back on his head.

"Splin, what do we do? Five minutes outside of our house and we're fighting something!" Sharq exclaimed.

"Sharq, don't be ridiculous. We aren't fighting it." Splin said calmly.

"Well then what are we-"

"WE'RE RUNNING FROM IT!" Splin shouted, dragging Sharq by his t-shirt.

"Oh!" Sharq got up to his feet, and began to sprint frantically.

The prehistoric powerhouse roared, and gave chase, charging after the two brothers. They shifted into squid form, sliding down various dusty inclines, ignoring the dirt being tossed up into their faces. They slid down until they reached a large rock, which they promptly ducked behind. A moment later, they stood behind the rock, holding smaller pebbles in their hands.

"Take THIS!" Sharq shouted, chucking a rock.

Splin and Sharq tossed rocks at the dinosaur with expert precision, but unfortunately, the rocks just bounced off of the dinosaur with hardly a scratch. The tyrannosaurus tilted its head back, then smacked the rock the boys were using as cover using its head, pushing them far away. The two of them landed on the ground by another large rock, grunting from the impact. The two of them ducked behind it, panting excessively.

"Any other plans?" Sharq asked.

"...Wait a minute. Sharq, where's the Tele-Cube?"

The two of them peered from outside the rock, noticing the cube glowing. Right by the oversized lizard's feet.

"...Hmm." Splin murmured. "I have a new plan."

"Nice! What is it?" Sharq asked.

"Well, I think that if I can get to the Tele-Cube-" Splin pointed towards the cube. "I think I can Super Jump back over here, and using the cube's functions, transport us back to Inkopolis."

"Sounds pretty solid."

"The problem is, I can't outrun the dinosaur in any way shape or form, so if I were to approach it, from any angle, it's going to hurt. A lot." Splin said, hand on his cheek.

"So what do you think we should do?"

Splin took a look around. The dinosaur was still rampaging, searching for the two, large footsteps shaking and tossing pebbles into the air.

"Wait, narrate that last part again."

Tossing pebbles into the air.

"That's it! Sharq, palms open!" Splin commanded.

With a nod, Sharq held his hand up, showing the palms of his hands to his brother, who promptly hopped in as a blue squid.

"What are we doing exactly?" Sharq asked.

"Think of me as a Splat Bomb. The Tele-Cube is the opposition, got it?" Splin said, staring straight ahead.

"Got it! Hyah!" Sharq said, reaching back, and tossing Splin, the blue squid spiraling towards the cube.

Splin landed, on the Tele-Cube, just under the dinosaur. Quickly taking the cube and switching into his standard Inkling shape, he began to run towards Sharq. The dinosaur noticed him, and once again chased after them. Splin dived towards his brother, his hands gripping the cube tightly.

"Alright, quick, Sharq, activate the cube!" Splin yelled, the dinosaur closing in behind them.

"Uh, alright! Cube, take us to the future!" Sharq yelled.

"Huh?! Sharq that's not-"

The brothers disappeared in a flash of light, the dinosaur slamming his jaw into where they once stood. The dinosaur grimaced, then let loose a roar of pure anger into the sky.

* * *

The two brothers reappeared in a dark room, the Tele-Cube popping up beside them, looking inactive and silent. Taking a look around, they could see absolutely nothing. Noticing a light, the two instinctively walked towards it. Once close enough, they realized the light was passing through a door of sorts. Splin reached out to open it when suddenly it opened by itself.

"Automatic doors?" Splin wondered aloud.

"Maybe we're in the Octarian Base?" Sharq suggested. "They have a lot of tech there."

Splin shrugged, then stepped out into the light. He blinked once. Then twice, to confirm what he was seeing was real. Splin stood in Inkopolis, or at least he thought so. Looking around, every Inkling he saw had some sort of glowing aesthetic to their clothing. Initially shrugging it off as some new fashion trend, Splin took a step forward.

Then a bright flash of light surrounded him.

* * *

AN: This is fairly late considering the Splatfest is already over, but I felt like writing this anyways. gg Team Future, you tried your hardest, gg Team Past, we did it. For those who haven't read the original story, the Tele-Cube is basically a plot convenience object with a cooldown, where nearly anything is possible with it, but is generally ignored for fear of...destruction of Inkopolis.

In other news, reviews! Thanks ERODE for reviewing! I'm glad you like the story, ERODE, I'll make sure to get more updates out.

Not much else to say here, but thank you once again for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to watch Parasyte, see you!


	4. The Brothers and the Generic Time Plot 2

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **The Future is in the Past! Part 2**

Splin opened his eyes. Inkopolis appearance was...surprisingly similar to present day. Streets and buildings remained like any other urban settings, with normal sidewalks and buildings. Except, for a few minor details. Obvious being that some Inklings were standing on colorful platforms floating in the sky, and the fact that different colors of ink flowed freely and smoothly through the streets like a flat, almost stagnant river, Inklings running through and near the ink as if this was a normal thing, causing the smooth stream to splash onto the streets, decorating it in various colors. A few buildings also floated above the city like jellyfish, squids jumping in and out of the buildings with ease, hovering down onto the floors with shoes that appeared to absorb the shock of their falls.

"...Oh my gosh, Sharq, you sent us to the future." Splin sighed, face-palming.

"Really? Cool!" Sharq said, popping up behind Splin.

"No it's not 'cool'!" Splin exclaimed, taking another look around. "Eh, well, maybe a little. But that doesn't change the fact that we're stranded in the future."

"I mean, we don't KNOW it's the future." Sharq said. "We might've popped up in a new place outside of Inkopolis."

"Really?" Splin said, with an unamused look.

Splin walked up to an Inkling girl humbly walking by, and cleared his throat, getting her attention.

"Excuse me miss, what's the date?" Splin asked.

"Um, I believe it's January 16th, why?" She asked.

"Of what year?" Splin asked.

The Inkling girl put her hands on her hips, frowning. "The year of-"

A group of Inklings nearby jumped into the stream of ink, shouting "Cannonball!" as they jumped in, ink splashing onto the sidewalk, then hopped back out, shaking the ink off their tentacles.

"-of course." She finished.

"...Alright, thank you." Splin said, the Inkling girl nodding and walking off, ignoring the peculiarities of his question.

Splin then walked over to Sharq, taking a deep breath.

"We're about a hundred years or so in the future." Splin said.

"Really? I expected much more flashy lights and hovercrafts." Sharq said, looking around.

"That only happens in sci-fi movies." Splin said with a hmph.

The two took one last glance at the city, then Sharq yawned, stretching his arms.

"Well, this is nice and all, but I think I'm going to go for a walk, look around." Sharq said.

"I...don't think we should do that." Splin said.

"Why not?"

"Sharq, we don't belong here. Our very presence could begin to unravel the fabric of the universe. Remember when we visited 'Splat X'?" Splin said.

"Yeah, what about it?" Sharq asked.

"We could very well begin to disappear, or explode, or something! And whose to say we won't get killed by some sort of futuristic weapon?" Splin asked.

Sharq scoffed. "Bro, you worry too much. Do you see any killer robots?"

Splin looked among the skyscrapers and the floating platforms, then spotted something that might've made his several hearts stop. In the sky, a battalion of robot sea creatures hovered over Inkopolis. Sharq followed his gaze, then visibly paled.

"Oh." He muttered.

"How's the Tele-Cube doing?" Splin asked.

Sharq stared down at the cube in his hands. The sides were all dim, and the cube itself was unresponsive. Sharq gave it an experimental tap, but to no avail.

"...Sleeping?" Sharq said with a shrug.

Unfortunately for Sharq, the simple act of shrugging caused him to drop the Tele-Cube, where it fell into the streets of ink, swept away by the river. Sharq gulped, and Splin glared at him.

"Are you serious." Splin said, less of a question and more of a disappointed statement.

"Um… L-Let's go after it!" Sharq declared, hopping into the stream of ink.

Splin sighed, then did the same. The two swam through the stream in squid form, rapidly traveling through the colorful substance, until they finally caught up with the cube. Latching onto it using their tentacles, they switched back to Inkling form, and attempted to head out of the stream. With a hop, they jumped out of the river, but were pushed to the left.

"Huh?" Sharq said.

The two realized the "street" they were swimming in curved, turning around a corner. The two raised an eyebrow at this, or at least as close as raising an eyebrow they could get in squid form. Poking their heads out of the ink, their eyes nearly popped out of their heads, noticing that the stream was beginning to pour out at what appeared to be nothing, the stream falling like a waterfall into the abyss. Frantically, the brothers began swimming against the current of the river, stalling their seemingly inevitable demise, only to be finally pushed back off the side of the city by the stream. The two screamed as they fell, flailing their arms.

Then they were saved by a robot.

"Eh?!" Splin gasped, his tentacles grappled by a metallic arm.

"Whoa." Sharq said, looking up at their mechanical savior.

A large, gray jellyfish shaped robot carried the two to safety in its tentacle grip. The jellyfish hovered over to the sidewalk the brothers had previously traveled by, and laid them down gently.

"Use caution when using Forge's FastTravel Inkstreets™." It said, waving to the brothers, then hovered off.

"Okay, so maybe the future isn't SO bad. It's much better than getting chased by a dinosaur I suppose." Splin said, getting up to his feet.

"Yep!" Sharq said, then looked at the cube, allowing his grip to grow soft.

The cube, despite now looking like a bucket of assorted paints fell on it, looked okay, though it still remained inactive. Sharq gave it another tap, frowning when it amounted to nothing. Splin walked over to the edge of the city, and looked down. Apparently, this city was merely a chunk of land floating, as he noticed an even large city beneath them. Spotting a familiar green tower with a familiar electric catfish, Splin realized they weren't inside Inkopolis.

"We're ABOVE Inkopolis." Splin said.

Sharq strolled over to the ledge, and looked down as well. "That's awesome! Hey wait, I was right! We aren't technically INSIDE Inkopolis, now are we dear brother?"

"Oh my Cod shut your face." Splin said, giving Sharq a playful push away from the ledge.

The actual Inkopolis looked much more developed and larger than the city they were hovering on. Large streets of ink and sea creatures dominated the city, with the plaza looking as lively as ever, though with a few different changes in Inkling fashion as per the time.

Splin bit his lip. "Weird… Wait, at this altitude wouldn't we start to lose oxygen?"

"Splin…" Sharq said.

"What?"

Sharq shifted from squid to humanoid multiple times in five seconds, then switched to Inkling form finally, grinning.

"Right, I forgot that logic isn't exactly a requirement anymore." Splin said with a sigh. "Guess we'll just have to wait until the Tele-Cube charges."

"Well, hey, now that we know a bit about this place, how about we explore?" Sharq asked.

Splin looked around, then gave up, sighing, then nodded. "I suppose it couldn't hurt...much."

The two then began their journey through the floating city, making sure to keep to the sidewalk. Unbeknownst to them, the jellyfish bot from earlier was staring at them. Menacingly.

* * *

After a bit of sightseeing, the two came to learn quite a bit about the city. "A bit" being that it was called "Heaven's Reef", and that it was in the future. Riveting, isn't it?

"Hey, no one here seems to really care much about the history, too absorbed with hopping everywhere." Splin said. "Though I will admit it's amazing how they incorporate ink into their technology. Who would've thought a squid substance would have the ability to solidify into platforms?"

Speaking of which, Splin and Sharq were walking upon floating platforms, Sharq having the time of his life hopping from platform to platform, ink sticking to the bottom of his shoes, while Splin watched indifferently. After a while, Sharq had finally calmed down, lounging on one of the platforms.

"How's the Tele-Cube, Sharq?" Splin asked.

"Hmm? Oh, right!" Sharq said, taking the Tele-Cube out of his shorts pockets.

The cube was now beginning to glow brightly, much to Splin's relief.

"Great, all we have to do now is go back home. Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm already tired of all this advanced stuff, sort of just wish to go home and take a nap." Splin said with a yawn.

"Looks like you finally agree with me on something." Sharq said with a grin. "Alright, all I have to do now is tap the Tele-Cube and-"

Splin and Sharq were just then tackled off the platforms by the robotic jellyfish at a high speed. They yelped, quickly closing in on the ground below. Switching into squid form, they swerved to their lefts, and dropped into the stream of ink yet again.

Spitting out ink, Sharq glared at the jellyfish. "Hey!"

"Unrecognized Inklings. Preparing scan of Inklings." The jellyfish spoke in a monotone voice, then raised its tentacles menacingly. "Unknown and unauthorized personnel. Where are your IDs?"

Splin and Sharq gulped.

"And just when I began to think that the future would be safe." Splin said.

"Unauthorized personnel will be escorted out of the city by force if needed." The jellyfish said, then raised its tentacles, which opened up to reveal miniature stun guns.

"Aw, ship." Splin "cursed". "Wait a minute, if having no IDs would mean we would be attacked...then why didn't it just drop us off the ledge to our deaths earlier?"

The jellyfish bot hovered in silence, briefly computing its actions.

"...Your executions will be swift." It said, almost angrily.

The two brothers then began to swim away, letting the stream carry them to freedom. Unfortunately for them, the jellyfish was in hot pursuit, lashing out at the two of them, attempting to sting them each time, barely scratching them.

"Hey, look ahead!" Sharq said.

The brothers were almost outside of the city, about to fall off the side.

"We're almost there- GAH!" Sharq yelled out, getting shocked by one of the stingers.

"Sharq!" Splin yelled. "Are you okay?!"

"Blergh…" He responded, face down in the ink.

"Oh geez, alright, hang on! We're almost out of this!"

Splin and Sharq were then launched off of the city, falling to the ground. Splin looked at Sharq, who was still clutching the cube, but looked rather unconscious at the moment. Splin desperately moved closer, the city growing larger as they got closer and closer to the ground. Splin tapped the cube multiple times, getting more and more worried as they seconds passed by. All of a sudden, the cube flashed bright, Splin tapped it, hugging his brother tightly, and the two of them were enveloped in a flash of light, just as they were about to slam into Inkopolis below, vanishing.

* * *

"OH YEAH! Blast from the past!" Callie declared.

"Ugh…" Marie sighed.

The idols of Inkopolis, the Squid Sisters, were currently broadcasting the Splatfest results to Inkopolis live from their studio. Inklings expressed their pleasure and displeasure with the results rather simply, either by cheering or jeering at the results.

"We did it, my prehistoric peeps!" Callie declared proudly.

"I can't believe we lost…" Marie said with a sigh.

"Considering the last couple of Splatfests, that's surprising." Callie said with a smirk.

"Oh!" The crowd exclaimed.

Marie smirked as well. "Look at Ms. Naughty over here, no wonder you chose past, you're looking prehistoric with those clothes of yours."

"Oooooh!" The crowd became fired up.

Callie adopted an angry face, though a hint of a smile could be seen. "Yeah? Got it through hard work and determination, Ms. Money. Though you wouldn't know, being a rich couch potato and all!"

"OOOOOHHHHHH!" The crowd laughed.

The two brothers then reappeared in Inkopolis Plaza, slamming into the pavement below.

"Ooooohhhh…" The crowd cringed at the sight of two Inklings slamming into the ground face first.

The sound of pain alerted the two Squid Sisters, who immediately stared out from their studio at the two brothers.

"Um." The two pop stars said.

Callie cleared her throat. "I-If you participated in this Splatfest, don't forget…"

"Y-Your prizes are waiting in the plaza. We'll need you to return that Splatfest Tee, unfortunately." Marie said.

"Stay fresh." The two announced with their signature pose, posing on one leg with their hands aimed down at the ground, shaking somewhat.

As the broadcast ended, Splin and Sharq rose from the ground, shaking off the fall somewhat.

"Are they…are they okay?" A female Inkling asked hesitantly.

"Them? Oh, they fall from the sky all the time, trust me." Another Inkling said.

Splin turned over to Sharq, who stirred somewhat, still lifting himself off the ground.

"W-What time is it?" Sharq asked.

"It's uh...about eleven o' clock." One male Inkling from the crowd answered.

"Well, Maria's going to kill us. Sorry, krill us." Splin said, looking up at the sky.

Any pun is a good pun. Except when they're not.

"It's time to go home, I've had enough of time traveling for one day." Splin finished, helping Sharq up.

Sharq nodded. "Sorry about, you know…"

"It's fine. Just be a little more precise next time, right? I don't have to want to carry you out of the depths of shell next or something." Splin said, looking down at his older brother.

Sharq leapt up to his feet. "Gotcha!"

The two Inkling brothers walked away, switched into squid form, then Super Jumped back home, into the dark sky, leaving a baffled crowd behind.

"That was weird." An Inkling said.

"I concur." The jellyfish robot said.

The dinosaur standing next to it nodded in response. Then the two of them had a moment of clarity.

* * *

As the two brothers hurdled through the sky, they could hear sounds of destruction in the background. Splin groaned, Sharq remaining silent.

"...We're going to have to go back, won't we?" Splin said.

Sharq nodded. "Yep!"

Splin sighed, shaking his head. "Sorry Maria."

The two made their way to the ground, landed, then launched themselves back to the city, ready for whatever impossible obstacles they would have to face next.

* * *

AN: That's that ladies and gentlemen. gg again to all you past and future fanatics. I was on Team Past for once, because a certain someone's Splatfest advice persuaded me, and I suppose he was right. gg once more.

Reviews are like comments. ...That's it, they're like comments. Thanks Ultrapyre, Lean, and ERODE for reviewing! There's that advice I was talking about ladies and gentlemen, go to Ultrapyre for all your Splatfest needs. Having a sea snail as a pet is hard work though, you have to feed it, and take it for "walks", so it's good to keep responsibility in check. Lean, thanks for the review, and good work fellow past fan. As for you ERODE, sorry your team didn't win, hope you have better luck next time! I make sure to try and get to reviews separately in my stories, so you're welcome for being noticed, I suppose!

That's all for today folks, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I really need to finish up these Tough Break contracts in TF2. Later alligators!


	5. The Octoling's First True(?) Battle

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Ink Stained Battlefield**

"ATTENTION!"

Sighing, I stood straight. Another day, another dollar. A line of other Octolings stood straight in formation with me. We all stood in a small metallic room with barren walls and floors, the only door shut behind us. Everyone here had their armor and weapons at the ready, even yours truly keeping her Octoling Goggles on her face for once. Aussie stood in front of us in a uniform fashion, "in charge" of our Splatoon. She cleared her throat, inspecting each and everyone of us carefully.

"I called you all of you here because you have potential. Now, let me get straight to the point, NONE of you have tapped into your full potential yet. None." Aussie stated.

Hardly caring, I yawned, not too absorbed in her speech. The other Octolings shifted slightly, looking in my direction.

"But I know, with enough time and effort-"

Yawned again, only much, much louder this time. The other Octolings in my squadron began whispering.

"With training and-"

At this point, my yawns were enough to rival Octavio's music in terms of decibels. The other Octolings were snickering.

Aussie's Octoling Goggle lights flickered in and out. "WITH ENOUGH TRAINING, YOU CAN-"

Pretending to snore standing up, I hung my head back, and made obnoxious log sawing noises up into the ceiling, the other Octolings having difficulty containing their laughter. A few even went as far as to go rolling on the floor. Aussie growled, unholstering an Octoshot, and began firing up into the ceiling, immediately alerting the others. My comrades reorganized themselves, making sure to stand in straight lines, frozen in place. Minus the streams of nervous sweat running down their faces, they were pretty chill. Aussie on the other hand…

"T-41, do you mind asking me why you are so tired today? Get enough sleep last night?" She asked me, hands on her hips.

"Nah, slept like a rock. Your words are too boring, that's all." I told her, the others smiling. "Maybe you should let me be the one leading the group. Less people falling asleep."

Aussie sighed. "You're the only one snoring."

"Yeah, well, if I was in charge, that means one less person snoring, and one less person being boring. Win win."

"Alright then, for a change of pace, T-41 will be the one who comes up here and notifies the group of what we're doing today." Aussie told me with a humph.

"Well, that's the thing. If I knew what we were supposed to do, then I would. But I'm not gonna." I said, smirking.

"Actually, it's rather simple. I have in mind a scouting mission-"

With that information in mind, I shoved Aussie out of the way, taking her place. "Alright ladies, I have in mind a scouting mission to whip you all into shape."

My comrades began giggling hysterically, some having to lean on each other for support.

"Nya-ha-ha!" One cackled, smiling.

"Alright!" Another chimed in.

Grinning, I crossed my arms. "Alright, so today we're going to get out there and kick some Inkling butt. Who's with me?"

The Octoling squadron nodded, some cheering, until Aussie grabbed me by the back of my armor, and began dragging me towards a wall. She shoved me against it, almost glaring a hole into my face, her octopus beak seemingly sharp and ready to bite if I made another bad move.

"T-41, you are way out of line. One more wrong move and I'll have to punish you." She growled.

I smirked. "Ooh. If you're going to do that, at least pull on my tentacles."

Aussie stood silent at my comment, backing off. Her face adopted one of disgust, our fellow Octolings sorta following her example, staring at me blankly.

"Eh, it was worth a shot." I said, shrugging.

"Moving on." Aussie said plainly, clearing her throat to clear out the awkward sex joke. "Innuendos aside, what I have in mind is actually on par with what T-41 kindly cared to inform you all of."

Hot clam, I was right! Before I could tell Auss to eat it, she kept on speaking. Groaning, I leaned back against the wall, the cool metal exterior feeling a little chilly to my tentacles.

"A group of Inklings have been spotted infiltrating Octo Valley dangerously close to the proximity of our home base. If they were to find it and report back, we could face a potential Second Great Turf War, and with all our main Great Octoweapons still in repair or development, we're facing a catastrophic scale of death if we fail. For those who still don't understand, let me put it this way."

Aussie turned around, her back to us, arms folded behind her. "All of your loved ones will die. Those Inklings WILL be sure to splat each and every one of us to take back land. Even as a starting mission, you all will need to give it your best."

The other Octolings in the room began murmuring to themselves. On the other hand, I rolled my eyes. Melodramatic much?

"Yeah, sure." I said.

Aussie spun around to address me. "You think I'm lying T-41? Those things are evil. They're colonizing the surface, plotting to destroy us while we're sitting ducks. It's only a matter of time."

"Alright then, why don't we beat them all up? If they're so evil, all we need to do is go up there right now and slaughter them all." I told her.

"It's NOT that simple." Aussie said with a scowl. "We'd be wiped out with this skeleton of a force we have. Plus, who knows how many Inklings are armed up there? Anyway, that brings us back to our issue, the Inklings scouts."

"You want us to go out and murder these Inkling scouts." I asked.

Aussie sighed, then nodded. "...Correct, though I'd prefer less evil terms. Think of it as...as professional security measures. As soon as you splat them all, report back for briefing. You'll be free to do whatever you want after that."

Nice. Smirking, I nodded to the other members of our squadron, who nodded back. We began to leave the room, Aussie leading us out through a door. Upon approaching, the door opened automatically, letting us go through without any trouble. Although, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we're ready to go out and kick some butt.

* * *

We stood outside, in the crisp air of Octo Valley. Dirt and very dry patches of grass surrounded us, topped off with a rocky mountain range and debatably artificial sky. We all were equipped with Octoshot ink guns, violet ink filling the tanks, sloshing with each footstep we took. Surveying the area, we didn't see tentacle nor ink tank of the enemy Inklings. Man.

This was SOOOOOOO boring.

Sighing, I laid flat on the ground, staring up at that pale blue sky. It's been three whole hours since we've left the HQ, and there's nothing. Nothing! Starting to wonder if this is some sort of stupid training regimen or prank Auss is trying to pull on us.

A separate Octoling sitting next to me took her goggles off, grimacing. "Where the SHELL are those Inklings? It's been hours now."

"Yeah, I dunno man." I said, lazily twirling my Octoshot gun. "I'm thinking we should take off if we don't see 'em soon."

The other members of my squadron nodded in agreement. Standing up, I yawned, and made my way home.

"Wait, T-41, I don't think that's a good idea."

Sighing, I turned to the Octoling who spoke. "First of all miss, it's Tai Inaba, thank you very much. Second of all, I DON'T GIVE A SHIP. Three hours of nothing happening. If the Inklings were here, they're probably long gone. I say we all just ditch, if there are Inklings around, they sure as shell ain't here."

"...I suppose you're right." The other Octoling said, toting her Octoshot. "After all, Inklings in Octo Valley? That's stupid-"

Catching a glint of something, I tackled her to the ground.

"Ow, hey! I was agreeing with you!" She protested.

"Sniper." I said, looking up.

"What?!" She asked, attempting to sit up.

I forced her back down. "There's an Inkling sitting up there, looking through a scoped weapon, get down!"

The other Octolings flinched. Looking up in the direction I initially peered at, they stared. Then, a longshot of orange ink burst out, nailing one of us in the chest, exploding the gal instantly. The others gasped, shifting into octopus form, hitting the deck. Crouching low, I aimed my Octoshot, experimentally firing towards the enemy. An Inkling sniper fired towards me from atop a ruined building, luckily missing, an orange streak dangerously running across the ground. Out of the orange streak, I noticed ripples in the ink.

"They're advancing on us, watch out!" I yelled.

The others nodded, firing at the orange ink. Two orange squids popped out, garbed in some sort of futuristic battle outfit, firing at us with weapons resembling their outfits, rapidly shooting towards us. Growling, I shot away from me, painting the ground purple, then shifted into octopus form, swimming away from the enemies. The other Octoling I tackled followed closely behind me as orange began spreading over our trail.

"What's the plan, T-41?!" She asked frantically, jumping out of the way of a Burst Bomb, splattering the turf she once sat in.

"Retreat and regroup, once we find a different locale, we can get the jump on them. Got me?" I explained, her octopus head nodding in confirmation.

The two of us returned to our Octoling forms, then began running for our lives, firing back towards our pursuers. We ran until we spotted a kettle up ahead, a subterranean entrance to what we like to call, "levels" of Octo Valley.

"There! That's where we'll engage them." I said.

"Inside of the kettle?" The other Octoling asked.

"...Not exactly." I said with a smirk. "Follow my lead."

Shifting back into an octopus, I hopped inside the kettle, my comrade following after. As soon as we entered, I stuck to the wall of the inside of the kettle, my ally doing the same. We waited for a while, the sounds of ink being shot slowly diminishing. The sound of footsteps soon followed, however. Making sure to stay out of sight, I peeked out of the kettle, then immediately dropped back inside, two Inklings advancing towards us.

Looking at my companion, I made gestures with my tentacles up to the surface, making sure to stress their importance.

"Huh?" She asked.

"Just follow my lead on 'go', kay?" I told her.

She nodded, gripping her Octoshot in her tentacles. The Inklings were approaching the kettle, I could hear their footsteps. They were just about above us when I yelled.

"GO!"

The two of us launched out of the kettle, bringing our Octoshots to eye level. We looked around quickly, not spotting the enemy. Nervous, I checked everywhere close to me, when I noticed two Inklings lying dazed on the ground.

"...What." I asked rhetorically.

"Nice plan, we knocked them out cold!" My comrade told me happily, poking the Inklings as if to make sure they were unconscious.

"...Yeah." I told her, hands on my hips. "That- That was my plan all along."

The semi-rejoiceful occasion was ended quickly by an orange laser being trained on my associate's head. She froze, gulping. Looking into the direction of the laser, I could tell it was the Inkling sniper from earlier.

He growled. I could tell because he flashed his teeth menacingly, trust me. "Move an inch, and your friend gets it."

"Oh, isn't that typical? 'I'm gonna be the hero by splatting someone and save the day by being the first to report back alive'. Guess what, stupid?" I snarled, aiming my Octoshot at the unconscious Inklings. "I can be a 'hero' too."

The other Inkling seemed to flinch, but shook his head. "...They'll gladly die knowing they helped me."

"Wow. I knew you Inklings were selfish, but...wow." I said, taunting him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Aussie sneaking up on the Inkling. She grinned, raising her Octoshot.

Smirking, I shrugged, taking off my own Octoling Goggles. "Doesn't matter much, looks like you're about to be-"

"AAAAUUUUUUUGH!" He yelled, getting shot in the back and off his vantage point.

"Aaaaaand you ruined my one-liner." I scowled.

He landed on the ground, covered in a puddle of violet ink. He twitched for a moment, then laid still, though still very much alive, I can tell. Easing up, I glanced over at my companion, who gave me a thumbs-up.

"Thanks for stalling him." She said, relieved to be alive.

"No problem man." I told her, staring down at the Inklings.

"The name's, uh, Chi, actually." She said, smiling.

I grinned for a moment. "Alright, no problem, Miss Chi."

The two of us chuckled, then glanced again at the Inklings.

"What do we do with them? Take them prisoner?" Chi asked.

"...Well, if we do that, who knows? There might be more Inklings around, and if they don't get back, they're going to send more, probably." I explained.

"We can't let them go, though. They'll just blab to their superiors about us as soon as they wake up." Chi said.

Sighing, I nodded. "...Then there's only one thing to do."

Gripping my Octoshot tightly, I raised it towards the Inklings. Chi flinched for a moment, looking at me.

"...Goodnight Inklings." I muttered, pulling the trigger.

* * *

There was one shell of a celebration in the Octarian Base that night. Whoo, boy. Octolings and Octotroopers danced it out to Octavio's beats, despite the fact that only three of us actually did anything. Oh well, I guess the others can take the credit too. Some got a little too...loose with their clothing. Not yours truly, of course, nah I wouldn't do that. Until I got older, of course. But, all jokes aside, it was a good night. Aussie, Chi and I sat at a table and drank reasonable for our age drinks 'til we were about to pass out. Yeah, it was great. Though there was one more thing I had to take care of…

* * *

Standing just outside of the kettle of our headquarters, I looked around to make sure no one was around. Walking away from the kettle where partying octopi roamed, I made my way to the battle site from earlier, walking among dried up ink that was slowly fading away. Grimacing, I noticed the three Inklings from earlier still there, leaning against the ruined building. Walking close, I cleared my throat, getting the three's attention.

"Alright, squids. If you're all packed, get out, now." I ordered.

One of the Inklings got to her knees and sat on the ground, bowing to me. "Thank you so much, thank you, thank you!" She cried, the others comforting her.

Rolling my eyes, I smirked at this pathetic display. "Yeah, whatever. Get out of here before I change my mind, Cod."

She got up to her feet, and nodded, her fancy headgear sparking as a result of the attack she received earlier. "Y-Yes ma'am!"

The three Inklings dashed away, out of Octo Valley. Snorting, I made my way back to base.

"...If I ever see another Inkling again, I'm crushing them." I promised myself.

...Heh, boy. Was I so, wrong.

* * *

AN: Octolings are funny creatures, how do they speak the same language, or a similar language to Inkling? Wonder if their "amicable relations" were a little closer than that. Oh well, I suppose we'll never know for sure. (Until Spla2oon of course)

Thanks again for reading everyone, this has been ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to broadcast Majora's Mask's Talkshow/Newscast on a TF2 Jailbreak server! ...Yeah, TF2 is a weird game. See ya!


	6. The Parents' Origins

**Splatoon: The Bate…?**

 **Lazy Way to Explain The Past, I Guess, Sorry!**

"Perfect. Just perfect." An Inkling sighed.

A young Inkling adult, two small blue tentacles wrapped up on the back of his head by a small band fluttering ever so slightly in the wind, had two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He had a pair of Tinted Shades worn up above his eyes, dark brown eyes to be exact, the shades placed on his forehead. His clothing consisted of a Shirt and Tie, the tie undone, two halves of the tie floating on a breeze. He wore a basic pair of black shorts like every other Inkling, and a pair of Black Trainers on his feet.

The Inkling stared down at a primitive phone, tapping at buttons on it rapidly. Growling quietly, he pocketed the phone, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"...Wish I could at least get some reception." The man scowled. "They really need to start developing better technology soon."

The Inkling man stood in a plaza, or at least it seemed like some sort of plaza, watching sea creatures work. Multiple buildings were being constructed, large glass panes being transported, asphalt in the middle freshly laid down, hardening almost instantly. A sign carried by a few other Inklings was carried by, the words, "Inkopolis" and "Plaza" written in permanent ink. Among the buildings being constructed one stood tall among the most, the skeleton of a light green tower.

"Alright people!" A voice called out. "We're done for today, pack it up!"

The Inkling scoffed and watched as the workers filed out. He walked out of the small plaza and stored the phone in his shorts pocket. Walking along, he continually trudged across the sidewalk, watching buildings being created brick by brick, with the helping hands and tentacles of multiple Inklings. A few buildings had posters of young squids and a large city with a tall green tower. Several other city self-advertisements covered the walls and signposts that did exist in the flowering city. After a brisk walk through a few dirty paths, the Inkling switched into a squid form, and Super Jumped away.

Or at least he would have, if it weren't for another Inkling blocking the way.

"Hey!" A female Inkling greeted him, standing directly in front of him.

The male sighed, reverting to humanoid form. "Yeah? What is it, what do you want?"

The female seemed to be taken aback, backing up, her tentacles following. "'What is it?'. Ha! What, did you get up on the wrong side of bed this morning?"

The female grinned, her hazel eyes sparkling somewhat, her blue tentacles rippling somewhat. She wore a pair of Black Arrowbands, a plain black tee on her person, and a pair of Plum Casuals, black shorts almost matching Phish's own on her legs. She was just a smidge taller than him, or at least in Inkling form.

The male sighed, turning back into a squid, ready to jump away. "Yes, I did in fact, and the day before that, and the day before that. Now please move, you're blocking my Super Jump."

"Yeesh. Sounds like you have a rough life." She said, leaning on a building.

"Well, if you had to serve in a war against your own will, like the rest of us, then you would too." He grumbled.

"You're a war veteran? Cool! What are you doing here, then?"

"Nothing. Only did so much for our troops, couldn't splat a whole bunch of Octolings like the others. I was… Laid off. if you will."

"Really? Why?"

"Told you, I was laid off."

"Why?"

"...Because I wasn't doing a very good job."

"Why?"

"What are you, a five-year old squid?! Why do you have to ask, 'Why' after every statement?!"

"Because I'm curious." She said with such simplicity that would make a toddler blush. "What's your name?"

"And after all that, you still have the audacity to ask me my name?!" He growled.

"Yep." She said simply, smiling.

"...Persistent. You're not going to stop asking, are you?"

She didn't say anything, she just stared hopefully at him with puppy dog eyes, glaring into his soul.

He sighed. "...It's Phish, alright? Now, please, leave me alone."

"Phish what?" She asked.

"...Phish Bate, to be precise." Phish said, turning into a squid. "Goodbye."

"Bate, huh? Sounds nice… Name's Pirah! Pier-Ah, got it? Like piranha plant." She said, raising her hand to shake his, still in his way.

"...Piranha plant? Don't you mean "fish"?"

"No, silly! Isn't your name Fish?" She asked.

"Phish!" He corrected her irritably. "Phish Bate, I said."

"Ooh." Pirah said, eyeing him curiously. "You have a nice last name. Mind if I have it?"

Phish turned back into a humanoid, tilting his head with a mild redness glowing on his face. "What?!"

"Like this!" Pirah took the word, "Bate" from the sentences above, waving it around as if to test it. "Hmm, seems fitting." Pirah Bate said.

"Wha?! H-How?!" Phish stammered, reaching for his last name.

Pirah Bate giggled, running around with the name held in her head tentacles, then speeded off, waving goodbye to Phish.

Wow. You really just let that happen, didn't you.

Phish looked around. "Who said that?!"

He was answered with a gust of wind.

"Argh!" Phish groaned, running after Pirah Bate.

Phish stopped at an intersection, or at least one currently under development, and surveyed the roads. He couldn't see Pirah Bate anywhere, the streets barren save for cement sidewalk foundations.

"Hmm." Phish murmured.

"Looking for me~?" Pirah Bate said, sliding underneath Phish's legs in squid form.

"Aha!" Phish exclaimed, reaching for her, only for her to slide out of his hands.

In squid form, Pirah Bate hopped away, giggling madly. Phish growled, running after her, through the dusty streets. He chased her through the still being built city, jumping through unfinished windows and weaving past bricks in an attempt to catch the elusive Inkling female, but to no avail. This continued for quite a while, until Phish stopped to catch his breath, coincidentally by a "STOP" sign.

"Ugh." Phish groaned. "Why does EVERYONE insist on making my life so much harder?"

Phish, standing up straight after catching his breath, looked around. He sighed, walking off, discouraged by this turn of events. He figured that a last name was just a name, and that he should just let the thief go. It wasn't worth the trouble, as odd as it was.

"Hey, wait!"

Phish turned around. The squid who stole his last name stood up straight, now in Inkling form, her arms behind her back. She stared at Phish sadly.

"Y-You're leaving? Just like that?" Pirah Bate asked.

Phish nodded, turning back. "Yep. You win. Keep my last name, it's not like it matters."

"...Okay, okay, I'm sorry! You can have your name back." She told him, waving his last name.

By then, the Inkling was already gone. Pirah Bate looked around, hoping to find the other Inkling, but to no avail. She sighed, looking down at the name attached to her tentacles.

"...Bate." She read.

Little did Pirah Bate know, that the Inkling she was looking for was just above her. A blue squid flew away from Inkopolis, irritation on his face.

* * *

The Inkling landed on a familiar, yet mostly barren hillscape. He groaned, standing up and rubbing his back.

"Still can't get the Super Jump down." He complained to no one in particular.

Phish looked ahead. On top of the hill, he looked over to a house. This house was rather small, with a flat rooftop, railings installed around it. Phish walked up to the house, and opened the door. The house wasn't anything too special inside, there was a stairway leading up to a trapdoor which in turn led to the roof above. There was a small kitchen to the right, a television to the left, and a strange barren spot to the upper left, minus a dresser and alarm clock. Smack dab in the middle of the house was a small mattress.

Well don't this seem familiar?

"Agh, voices in my head." Phish groaned, lightly gripping the side of his head. "Cod, I'm going insane."

Insane? You seem perfectly alright to me.

Phish rolled his eyes, leaning on the wall of the house with one hand, an eye closed. "Yeah, well, the voice in my head doesn't seem like the most credible source."

Take my word for it, Phish, you aren't insane. If you were you would be locked up.

Phish shook his head, walking to the center of the house. Plopping down on the mattress, he sighed, looking straight up to the ceiling, then down to his chest. His tie was messily undone as always. Phish slowly closed his eyes, letting the irritation of today's chance encounter fade like it was nothing, drifting off into unconsciousness.

* * *

Phish woke up groggily. Lifting his head, he attempted to move off of the mattress. For some reason, he couldn't budge, no matter how hard he tried to get off. Phish's eyes shot open. That was because the girl from earlier was sitting on his legs.

"WHAT THE SHELL?!" He exclaimed, shifting into squid form and hopping back.

"W-Wait, hold on a minute!" She implored, reaching out.

Phish, too freaked out to listen, shifted back into Inkling form and did what most people would do if someone invaded their house. He dashed to his left into the kitchen, and grabbed a random utensil, hoping that it would be a knife. Instead, it was a frying pan.

"Oh come on!" He exclaimed, raising the frying pan in anger.

You'd be surprised at how well those things actually work.

Ignoring that, Phish turned to Pirah Bate, brandishing the pan as if it were a sword. "How'd you get in?! I was sure I left the door locked!"

"You, um, did leave it unlocked, but that's not how I got in…" She said, twiddling her fingers.

Phish lowered his "weapon". "...Huh?"

Pirah Bate looked straight up. In the ceiling, there was now a female Inkling shaped hole, shattered pieces of ceiling on the floor below. Pirah Bate giggled nervously. Phish wasn't too pleased.

"W-Well, it doesn't matter. You're trying to rob me again, aren't you?! My last name wasn't enough?!" Phish shouted.

"No, no, no! Please, hear me out! I just wanted to return something!" She said, reaching for her tentacles.

Taking the object from her tentacles, it was the name, "Bate". Pirah carefully set Phish's last name down carefully on the floor, then backed off. Phish blinked, then, sheathing his frying pan, cautiously made his way to his last name. Once he got there, he kept a careful eye on Pirah as he crouched down, then took his last name back. The name vanished out of thin air, causing Phish to recoil slightly.

"Wha- What was the point of touching it if it disappears?" He wondered aloud, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter, you-" He said, pointing to Pirah, who flinched. "Get out."

"R-Right, I'm sorry." She murmured, walking away. "I just- I'm sorry. I just wanted someone to have fun with, that's all."

Phish watched her begin to leave the house. He watched her for a moment, closing his eyes. As soon as she was about to leave the door, Phish reached a hand out.

"Hold on!"

Pirah turned back, one foot out the door. Phish sighed, gesturing for her to come back in.

"...Look, I don't know what your deal is. Blocking my way, stealing my name, and now breaking and entering." Phish said, glaring at her.

Pirah shifted slightly, crossing her legs in shame, looking away.

"So, with that being said, I can't just let you go." Phish said, crossing his arms.

Pirah blinked, looking towards Phish hopefully.

"...What are you waiting for? Get in, it's getting cold." Phish told her.

Phish wasn't prepared for getting completely tackled by Pirah, then being hugged tightly enough he was sure his tentacles would pop.

"Thank you so much! I promise to make it up to you in whatever way I can!" Pirah yelled.

Phish sighed, patting Pirah on the back. "...Thanks, Pirah."

Pirah squeezed him tighter. "You remember my name, too! That's so sweet!"

"O-Okay, please let go of me now." Phish said, gasping for breath.

Pirah didn't let up, so Phish remained in her iron grip for at least five more hours before she finally calmed down, gave him another, less lengthy hug, and hopped around for joy. Until her stomach began to rumble.

"Uh...happen to have any food?" She asked, grinning.

Phish sighed. "It's going to be one interesting day…"

* * *

Splin sighed, then stared at the ceiling of his house. "Hey, Sharq?"

"Yeah?"

"You...uh, ever wonder how our parents met?"

"No, not really, but now that you mention it, that sounds pretty cool."

Splin chuckled. "You think everything is pretty cool."

Sharq grinned. "It's what I do!"

The two brothers smiled, then stared at the ceiling.

"Alright, I'm still bothered by the strength of our ceiling."

"Yeah, me too."

* * *

AN: Uh, totally real writing fact, Phish and Pirah were originally going to be in The Bate Brothers Adventures, but I figured that the two brothers by themselves would be a little more interesting without having the parents kinda oversee them all the time. So instead, they're mysteriously missing from the universe. ...Yep.

Reviews now, questions later, thanks to Ultrapyre and Lean for reviewing! Ultrapyre, I apologize again, I'll keep the Inkanese at a minimum. Lean, that's the positive thinking we need more of in Nintendo, if I were an executive or something, you'd be hired!

Thanks for reading everybody, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to doodle video game things! I'm off, let's roll.


	7. The Diner Couple

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Lunch Rush**

A young Inkling adult entered an office lobby, filled to the brim with confidence. He had on a pair of Retro Specs, a Varsity Jacket, and a pair of Yellow Seahorses as well as a pair of black shorts. His skin was light brown and his orange eyes and orange tentacles were sparkling with excitement. He ran through the office complex, passing through the lobby.

" _Can't wait, man, can't wait!"_ He thought to himself over and over, picking up the pace.

This Inkling was so preoccupied with running that he didn't realize he was running into another Inkling, this one being a female. The two slammed into each other, knocking each other over.

"Yow!" The male exclaimed, rubbing his head.

"Agh, hey buddy!" The female yelled, pushing him off.

The male stopped rubbing his head, and stared at the female. Despite her irritated voice, on the outside she seemed indisposed to the event. She had on a Sporty Bobble Hat, a Berry Ski Jacket, and a pair of Crazy Arrows, black shorts like every other Inkling as well, light skin and yellow tentacles and eyes glaring right towards the other Inkling.

"I believe you owe me something?" She said.

"Sorry lady, gotta go! Late for my job interview!" The male yelled, running off, rudely ditching the female.

"Son of a- That's not exactly it!" She growled, picking herself up, walking away with nothing else other than an irritated look on her face. "Well, whatever."

* * *

A few hours later, the male ran out of the office building, cheering to himself. In his hands, he held a paper with a stamp on it, a little green squid above the word, "APPROVED" on it, a list of work-related achievements on it.

" _All I have to do is wait 'til tomorrow, then I can start work! Whoo-hoo! Alright, alright, Calm down Willie, it's just another day away."_ The Inkling thought to himself. _"Ah, who am I kidding, this is so flipping exciting, man!"_

Willie chuckled, running the rest of the way home, happily hopping about the sidewalks and streets of Inkopolis. After a bit of joyful hopping, the soon to be employed Inkling reached an apartment building. Willie ran inside, flinging open the doors, still enthusiastic, surprising other sea creatures in the building as he ran through the building, making his way up the floors via stairway. Eventually, he reached the floor just beneath the roof of the building, which he entered by running through the halls. He stopped in front of the first door closest to the stairway he had left, stuck a hand in his pocket, taking out the keys. Taking the keys, he could've very well shattered them into a million pieces with the way he inserted it into the door's lock, but he was far too overjoyed to care. Once he opened the door, he made his way inside, kicking the door closed behind him, ran over to his bed, switched into a squid, and hopped onto it, rolling around in its plush majesty.

After a bit of rolling, Willie yawned, his eyes drooping. "Just a day away…" He told himself, already nodding off to sleep.

* * *

When Willie woke up, he realized a few things. One, that he slept in his clothes. Two, that his resume was lying on the ground next to his bed. So far so good. And three-

"What time is it?" He asked himself groggily, looking around the room.

Spying a clock, it read 7:00 sharp.

"Mmm." He murmured, leaning back into his bed. That's when it hit him hard.

"SHIP! I'M LATE FOR MY FIRST DAY!" He screamed.

Jumping off of the bed, messily switching back to Inkling form, he landed on his feet, picked up the resume, beginning to dash. Swiftly, he entered the bathroom of his home, frantically making sure that he was making himself look good, brushing his fangs, combing his tentacles, all the like. Reaching elsewhere, he took a set of clothing, haphazardly removing his previous clothing (in a rated T kind of way guys) and quickly putting on each and every new article of clothing as if he were firing ink bullets. He took one last look at the mirror. Looking at his reflection, he smiled, a chef uniform fitting for five star establishments worn proudly, then he sprinted out of his apartment, (again, kicking the door to open and close it) running rampant among the streets of Inkopolis in order to make it to his job at all.

* * *

Weaving through buildings, Willie finally managed to reach his destination. He stopped, panting for breath, leaning on a street lamp for support, adjusting his chef hat and tentacles underneath. Looking up, he was greeted by a somewhat faded sign that showed a tropical beach with the name "Oahu" written over it. He stood in front of a large restaurant building, glass pane windows revealing rows of tables and booths inside, as well as a kitchen in the very back behind a counter.

Willie grinned. _"Alright, let's get this party started."_

Willie entered the restaurant, an air of confidence about him. That faded immediately once he saw the girl he bumped into earlier standing by the counter. The worst part was that she was wearing a waitress uniform, only alluding to the happy fun times he was bound for.

He decided to play it smooth, casually greeting her. "...So, uh, hey, uh, girl... How's it hanging?"

"What are you doing here?" She asked calmly.

Willie gulped. She knew it was him. "J-Just waiting for a table to open, nothing big."

"This place doesn't open until an hour later. Please, get out." She huffed, crossing her arms.

Willie sighed, leaning back on the wall. "Okay, look, sorry about what happened earlier. I was in a rush. Forgive me?"

"..." She sighed. "For the time being, I have work to do."

"Oh, hey wait, that's what I'm actually here for!" Willie said, perking up. "I'm here for the sous-chef job."

"Ah, really? Well, you've come to the right place then." Another voice called out.

Confused, Willie looked around him. "Uh, did you say something?"

The female by the counter shook her head. "That's our employer."

Now more confused by what she meant, Willie kept looking around. "Where is she?"

"Right here!" A new Inkling said, popping up next to Willie from the floor.

"Wah!" Willie yelped, jumping back.

"Heh, got you." She said, lightly slugging Willie on the arm.

This new Inkling was an Inkling in a chef uniform with small cyan tentacles that looked cut short, clear blue eyes. She had a chef uniform on, toque and all. Though, underneath her work clothes she had on a White Headband, Aloha Shirt, and Blue Moto Boots, hardly bothered to be concealed much as if proud of them.

Willie grinned. "Wow. You're the owner of this place?"

"The one and only." She said. "Also the main chef, proud to make your acquaintance."

"Perfect!" Willie said. "My name's uh...William Stream, or Willie for short, I'm here to-"

"Heard you the first time, read your resume ahead of time. Don't worry, both of you are already hired." She said with a smile.

Willie's eyes shot open. "Wh-Whoa! Really?! Thank you so much, I'll do my freakin' best, you won't be disappointed!"

"Hold on there, dude." She told him.

Willie stopped. "Yes ma'am?"

"It's Pela, no need for formalities." She said, smirking. "I'm glad you're all excited and ready to work, but there's a catch. I already informed Zip over here about it. Zip?"

Willie turned to the girl he had crashed into earlier. "Zip? That's your name?"

"Yep." She said, leaning back on the counter.

"Please don't lean on the counter." Pela said sharply, Zip immediately hopping off.

"Pela told me if we want the jobs, we're going to have to get through a regular work day." Zip explained. "That means you better be ready to take orders, serve tables, cook meals, all the like. If no customers show up, then we can at least show off our skills to the boss."

"Well, hey, cooking's my specialty." Willie said proudly, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. "That doesn't sound too insane."

Pela suppressed a laugh. "Well, may I just say, good luck to you both." Pela began walking off to the kitchen, then turned back, a glint briefly shining in her eyes. "However, if you fail, slack off, etc., you'll be fired, kicked out, no questions asked. Capiche?"

Both of them stared at Pela blankly, nodding at her threat.

Pela smiled. "Good then! Well, I'll be in my office. See you later!"

Zip blinked. "Wait, your office is in the kitchen?"

Pela waved goodbye, and dived into a cabinet inside the kitchen via squid form. The two of them stared at the cabinet for a while, then turned to face each other.

Zip crossed her arms. "Well, it looks like you and I are going to be working together."

"Sure does." Willie said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Zip, right?"

"Yeah." She said. "Yours?"

"Willie." He told her.

"Hmph. Well Willie, lemme get one thing straight." Zip said, hopping up on the counter. "You are not getting in the way of my occupation. Like, not at all."

"Hey, look, I'm sorry about earlier. Geez, I didn't mean to bump into you like that!" Willie said.

"Let's just hope the same doesn't happen in the kitchen." Zip said. "If either of us are keeping a job, do us both a solid and be more aware of your surroundings."

At this point, Willie wasn't too pleased with Zip. "Woman, I've had it! I've tried to be nice, I'm totally aware of my surroundings, who are you to tell me what I know of my environment?!"

Zip blinked. "Well then."

Willie huffed. "Sorry about that. But come on Zip, give me a chance. I promise, I won't disappoint."

Zip sat on the counter in silence, pondering his proposition. A moment later, she sighed, staring him directly in the eyes. "...Alright. We'll see how it goes then during the work day."

"I guess we will then Miss Offended." Willie said, walking into the kitchen.

Zip sighed, shaking her head, hopping off the counter. She walked behind the counter, making sure to stand straight. Willie on the other hand made his way into the kitchen. The outside looking in made the kitchen look decent, but Willie was more than impressed upon walking inside and experiencing it fully. Multiple stoves and shiny, squeaky clean countertops decked the walls, ingredients so fresh they could substitute for the Squid Sisters for a day. Clean knives, forks, and other utensils sharp enough to cut through anything. (He was also certain that one of the knives was a miniature sword by the length of it, but shrugged it off) Needless to say, but I'll say it anyways, (today is another day to find you) Willie was amazed by the overall state of the kitchen.

"This is...spectacular! I could cook up literally anything in here, much better than the kitchen in my apartment!" He said, marveling over the kitchenware.

"Take it you're impressed by the kitchen, huh?"

Willie whirled around, coming face to face with Pela.

"Uh, yeah! This place is like the heaven for cooks, dang this place is pretty!" Willie exclaimed, eyeing everything.

"Glad you like it! Because if you want this job, you're gonna have to familiarize yourself with everything in here. Go ahead, start walking around, start learning the layout and all." Pela told Willie, the other Inkling nodding.

Willie took a step around, only to be grabbed by Pela and pulled back, choking the squid somewhat. Pela shushed him, looking over to the door. At the door, there was a single Inkling teen, looking around the restaurant.

"Excuse me! Anybody here? The uh...Great Ari wishes to dine here! Bring your finest table and...silverware, I guess?" He asked, looking around.

"Ari, it doesn't look like anyone's here." Sari said, popping up behind him, looking around.

"...Yeah, I was mostly just testing it for dramatic effect." Ari explained. "You know, once we find a worthy foe to challenge or get into something involving with a crowd, I'll be able to dazzle 'em, know what I'm saying?"

Sari nodded. "Guess that's one way to attract attention. I'll be right behind you, man."

Pela gasped, glaring at her two employees-in-training. "What are you two waiting for?! You gotta serve the customer."

"Huh?! Me?! Zip's closer to the door!" Willie protested.

Pela huffed. "That's not the attitude I'm looking for."

Willie paused. "Ehm…I'll go straight away, then, I guess?"

Pela shrugged. "Works for me!"

Willie cleared his throat, making his way out to the front, but was ultimately shown up by Zip, who reached the customers quicker than he did. Why he decided to try when Zip was clearly outside and closer to the customers was beyond me, but regardless, Zip playfully stuck her tongue out at him, Willie grimacing as a result.

"Welcome to Oahu, how may I help you?" Zip asked.

Ari stared at Zip for a while. "Ah! About time, my cousin and I have been searching far and wide for a suitable dining establishment for some time now, isn't that right Sari?"

Sari shrugged. "Yeah, about an hour."

"So, if you don't mind, we'd appreciate eating here for lunch!" Ari finished.

Zip nodded. "Of course-"

"Great! Let's go, great cousin, off to find a suitable table!" Ari announced, him and Sari walking off into the restaurant. "...Hey, how'd you think I did with the voice?"

"Nice, Ari. Pretty dramatic, if I do say so myself." Sari said.

"Hmm. I was going for a heroic approach, but I'll take what I can get." Ari said with a grin, taking a chair and offering it to Sari. And he didn't slide it out from under the table, no, Ari lifted the chair and offered it to Sari.

"Uh…" Sari stuttered.

"...Sorry, felt like I was on a roll there." Ari said, placing the chair down.

Zip, Willie, and Pela watched the two customers intently. Pela grabbed the two in a huddle formation.

"Alright, this'll be your task for today." Pela said with a grin. "If you can provide satisfactory, no, splatastic service for these two, I'll make sure you both get your jobs. Simple test, right?"

Zip and Willie glanced at each other, then nodded. Pela smiled at this, waved them off, then retreated quickly back into her "office".

"Oh yeah." Pela began, peaking her squid head outside the cabinet doors. "Don't even THINK about slacking off on this one, either."

Zip turned to Willie, smirking.

"Watch and learn, William." Zip said, making an elegant walk over to the two.

Just a few feet "One of the first and most important things we can do is get to know the city, Sari. Inkopolis is a pretty glamourous place, so if we wanna make it big here, the first thing to do is-"

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs…?" Zip asked, standing next to them, notepad in her hands.

"Jabin." Ari said, then blushed. "Oh, wait, wait, wait, we're um...not in a relationship."

"Yeah, we're cousins…" Sari said, with an awkward smile.

"Oh." Zip said, standing still.

The three remained there in silence, letting the tension settle in. Pela, watching the scene, cringed on the inside, but on the outside she was gesturing for Zip to get the show on the road. Zip, noticing this, gave her a subtle nod, turning to the cousins.

"...Apologies, um…" Zip began, clearing her throat. "What will you two be having this afternoon?"

Ari smirked, then picked up a menu. Scanning it quickly, he put it down, smiling. "I'll have the…"

" _Crab, all the cool stuff is really expensive."_ Ari thought to himself. _"Well, I have to order something impressive...oh, I know!"_

"I'll have the...cooked salmon and...orange juice?" Ari said.

Sari nodded. "I'll have what he's having."

" _Oh ship I didn't expect that! Do I have enough money to pay for both of us? Maybe I should change my or-"_

"Gotcha, two salmons and double the OJ, coming up." Zip told them with a sweet smile, jotting the orders down in her notepad.

" _Then again."_ Ari thought, looking at his waitress. _"If I fumble up near a female, they'll think I'm a doofus. Maybe this is the best course…"_

"Thanks, Ms…" Ari began.

"Zip." She told them. "I'm single, but don't get any bright ideas." Zip said, walking off.

Pela frowned, gesturing for Zip to meet her in her "office". Zip, while cool on the outside, mentally reprimanded herself for whatever she thought she did wrong. Keeping a decent pace, she jogged over into the kitchen, making her way around counters, and Willie, who sneered at her, Zip rolling her eyes as a result, stooping down to the cabinet office.

"Miss Nananec, I appreciate your efforts, but I can't have you chatting up all of the customers. Orders will start piling up, customers will go unsatisfied, and it's just all going to be a big mess. A little less talk, a little more order taking, please?" Pela asked.

Zip sighed. "Rights, sorry Pela."

Pela smiled. "Glad you understand. Go out there Zip, get those orders to your coworker."

Zip nodded, Pela shutting the cabinet door behind her. Zip stood up, then walked over to Willie, who was leaning on one of the counters. Zip tore the note she wrote on out of the notebook, handing it to Willie with a smug grin.

"Zip 1: Willie 0." Zip told him. "Better start cooking, William."

Willie took the note from Zip, and read it over. "Child's play."

"Alright. Be sure to make it quick, our guests are hungry~!" Zip said, walking outside over to the cash register.

Willie smiled, nodding. "Watch and learn Zip."

Willie looked down at the counters. Spying a refrigerator on his left, he walked over, opening it, marveling at the selection of ingredients inside as well. Scanning the contents, he found a pair of salmon steaks. Taking the steaks, he walked out, making sure to close the fridge without roundhouse kicking the door for once, and placed the salmon down on the counter.

Letting it stay there, he walked over to the oven, preheating it, then walked back to the salmon. Noticing two condiment shakers, he took the both of them, sprinkling salt and pepper onto the salmon, making sure to properly season it. Willie looked around the room, looking for something he could place the salmon on. Reaching down into counter cabinets, he searched for a baking sheet, eventually finding a roll. Taking the roll, he took a sheet of the nonflammable material, carefully laying the salmon on top. Looking towards the oven, knowing that it was done preheating, he took an oven mitt placed on the counter nearby, opening the oven, then placed the salmon inside, on a rack, closed the oven, then turned it on, waiting for it to cook.

Zip watched Willie, somewhat impressed. While he went to pour two glasses full of orange juice, she walked inside the kitchen, just behind him.

"Hey."

Willie perked up, looking behind him.

"I know I've given you a bit of ship recently, but I must admit, you're pretty good at this." Zip said with one arm on her hips. "Simple, but good."

"...Thanks. You too." Willie said, referring to earlier.

"Thanks." Zip said. "Once you're done with the juice, I'll just go ahead and take them out to the customers, right?"

"Alright, sure! Go ahead, I've finished pouring them." Willie gestured to the juice.

"Perfect." Zip said, walking towards the juice.

Taking the glasses, she whirled around, walking away, though a bit of the liquid splashed onto the floor, mostly gone unnoticed by the two. Zip walked out by the table Ari and Sari were sitting at, placing the glasses in front of the two, smiling at them.

"I'll be right back with your orders." She told them, walking back into the kitchen.

"Nice!" Sari said.

Ari grinned, taking a sip out of the glasses. "This stuff tastes really fresh! You know, in more ways than one."

Zip smiled, walking back into the kitchen, Willie waiting patiently, waving over to Zip. "Alright, I got the drinks down, how's the salmon-"

Zip gasped, feeling herself slip on the liquid from earlier. Willie's eyes shot open, dashing over to Zip, nearly slipping himself, quickly reaching out, grabbing her, keeping her from slamming her head on the countertop. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the two got awkwardly close. They stared into each other's eyes, neither flinching, each scanning the others' intently.

"Th-Thanks, Willie." Zip said.

Willie smiled. "N-No problem."

It was at that moment Pela came out of her "office", noticing the scene. "Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, hey, I'm glad you lovebirds are getting much more friendly with each other, but I can't have you make out in the kitchen."

The two flushed crimson, Willie quickly shifting to squid form, setting Zip down in the process, scuttling away from Zip. "Hang on, it wasn't-"

"We were- He was just helping me." Zip stammered.

Pela smirked. "Surrrrre. You two just finish serving the orders, then after work we can discuss whether or not you two get to keep the job, and maybe if you two might give each other some sugar, am I right?"

Willie and Zip stood there awkwardly, looking absentmindedly in different directions. Pela sighed irritably.

"There goes a perfectly good joke." Pela said with a shake of her head.

"Hop to it you two." Pela reminded them, hopping back in the cabinet.

A ding snapped the two out of their doldrums. Looking towards the oven, they could see that the salmon was already done.

"I'll get that!" Willie shouted.

Willie grabbed an oven mitt and opened the oven, taking the salmon out, laying it on the counter. Grabbing two plates, he lifted the salmon onto the two plates with forks and knives, then gestured to Zip. Zip nodded, and she took the plates, walking out, quickly composing herself. She gave the plates to the two Jabin family members, smiling.

"Hope you enjoy your meal." She said.

"Uh, hey, is something wrong? Your face is all red." Sari asked.

"We heard a commotion from over there too. What's going on?" Ari asked with an eyebrow cocked. "Ah! Has there been trouble afoot?"

Zip looked elsewhere, attempting to figure out an excuse, twiddling her tentacle. "...It's...warm, in there." She said, walking off.

The two other Inklings stared at each other in bewilderment, then shrugged and began digging into their meal. Zip, walked by the counter, breathing in a sigh of relief, staring over at Willie, who waved. Zip waved back, turning around to get a better look of the entrance in case of other customers. Luckily and unluckily, it seemed to be a slow day, reassuring Zip that this wouldn't be too much of a drag on.

* * *

After a few minutes, Ari and Sari had finished, and were now deciding on paying the check. Ari checked his wallet, worrying profusely, but was stopped by Sari.

"Hey, don't worry Ari. I got this." She said, but was stopped by Ari.

"N-No, it's fine good cousin, it's gentlemanly to, uh, you know, pay the bills." Ari said.

Sari sighed. "Ari, let's be honest. You thought that the salmon was going to be expensive, didn't you?"

Ari flinched. "How'd you know?!"

Sari giggled lightly. "You were super tense looking when you were looking over the menu."

Ari looked at the floor. "Oh."

"Don't worry man, I've got this for once. But next time, you've got to promise me to win in some Turf Wars to earn some money for yourself, got me?" Sari asked, reaching into her pockets, pulling out a handful of coins.

"...Alright, I promise dear Sari." Ari said.

"Still trying with that vocabulary, eh?" Sari smirked.

"I won't stop." Ari told her, eliciting another laugh from Sari.

* * *

"Thanks for coming!" Zip said and waved their customers off.

"This establishment has my support! The food and service were top notch! I'll be sure to come again if you don't mind!" Ari called out.

"Ari, it was only a little salmon." Sari blushed orange and turned away in embarrassment as she and Ari walked off.

Zip nodded. "We'll be ready for you." Zip called, the two other Inkling waving goodbye.

Pela left her office, walking outside. She motioned for Willie and Zip to follow her outside the restaurant. Leaving through the set of double doors, she cleared her throat, making sure to get the attention of the two.

"Today was a pretty nice day, wouldn't you two say?" Pela said. "That being said, it's only been an hour since you've applied."

"A couple more hours of work, huh?" Zip said.

"Man, I'm already sort of exhausted from...today." Willie said, glancing quickly at Zip.

"That's why I'm letting you two off early." Pela announced with a smile.

The two Inklings eyes' widened in surprise.

"Whoa, really Pela?!" Willie asked.

"Are you sure? It seems like a tough job to do all by yourself." Zip asked.

Pela grinned. "Appreciate the suggestions, but I'll be fine. You two take a break, it seems too good to be true, but I'll need to analyze your resumes with your hard work in mind and make this stuff official. Go ahead, do your things, if customers somehow DO find this place, I'll make sure to try my best."

With that said, Pela waved goodbye, walking inside of the restaurant, shifting a little sign inside that read, "OPEN" around, signifying that the place was closed for the time being. Willie and Zip turned to each other.

"...I guess that's that. We'll have to wait and see I suppose." Zip said.

"Yep." Willie said, staring over at Oahu.

"...Thanks for catching me back there."

"No problem."

"Um...see you tomorrow." Zip told him.

"...Yeah, see you." Willie said, looking elsewhere.

He then felt something touch his cheek. Looking to his right, Zip gave him a quick peck, startling Willie. Zip smiled warmly, waving goodbye, running off. Willie blinked, feeling his cheek. Cracking a goofy smile on his face, he jumped up for joy, cheering despite not fully knowing what exactly happened. He continued to do so as he ran back home, swerving and dancing somewhat around street lamps and benches, until he reached the apartment building. Running up the stairs, ignoring the complaints of a couple passerby, he reached into his pockets, pulling out his keys, opening up the door of his apartment home, then flung himself inside, shifting into a squid form, lounging on his bed.

" _This may very well have been the best freaking day of my life!"_ Willie thought to himself warmly, wrapping himself in the bed sheets, not bothering to change out of his chef uniform as he took a nap.

* * *

AN: As you can tell, my deal with romance and cooking is that since I don't have much experience with either, my writing of either of them isn't exactly top notch. But hey, sometimes you gotta try your best, even if it kinda blows up in your face. Hmm.

Anyways, time for a fresh serving of reviews, straight from Lean and Ultrapyre! Thanks Lean, who knows for certain? (Well, I guess I have some responsibility in that, being the author and all.) Ultrapyre, thanks man. I suppose just having the word, "Bate" being dragged around wasn't the best visual representation, I'll try and work on those. Maybe the Bate parents aren't dead, again, who knows for sure? :3

Thanks again everybody for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, oh and by the way, if any of you are in the California area and happen to find a lost copy of Majora's Mask 3D, notify your local turtle today!

* * *

*Moved* Dis-clam-er:

If anyone out there is a seasoned cook, I apologize if I somehow make you gouge your own eyes out at looking at this cooking scene, not really too used to making much of my own except for pizza, burgers, and grilled cheese to be honest.


	8. The Brothers and the Mother's Mastery

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Maria the Martial Arts Master**

Maria watched the television screen intently. She was still somewhat annoyed with Splin and Sharq not returning home, but stopping a dinosaur and jellyfish robot from wrecking the town was for the better. But something was eating at her recently. She couldn't quite place her tentacle on it…

For those unfamiliar with the female, Maria is an Inkling woman with lime-green tentacles, garbed in a Golf Visor, White Basic Tee, and a pair of Cream Hi-Tops. She also happened to be a bit of an other dimensional squid mom with kids that have phenomenal powers. But that's a whole different story altogether. Basically, to shorten things up, in this dimension, I suppose she's technically Splin and Sharq's guardian.

However, getting that informational article out of the way, Maria continued watching the television on her luxurious feeling bed, humming a tune to herself as she surfed through the channels. Maria yawned, getting out of bed quickly, stretching. She raised the television remote, clicked the power button, and turned the television off. She laid on the bed, tiredly letting her tentacles lay by her side. Suddenly, she heard a grunting sound. She slowly rose from her comfortable bed awkwardly stuck in the middle of the house, then turned to her left. In the kitchen, Splin, was struggling, a jar clenched between his hands, the younger brother struggling with opening it.

"Splin? Do you need help?" Maria asked, tilting her head somewhat.

Splin grunted, then turned to Maria, taking his headphones off his ears, smiling gently. "No, it's fine Maria, thank you for asking though."

Maria watched Splin toil with the jar for a while.

"You...don't seem to be getting too far." Maria said, smiling in spite of what she saw.

Splin sighed. "Guess that's why Sharq asked me to open this. I don't understand why it's so difficult to open, it's just a jar!"

Splin turned into a squid, then began to slide his tentacle underneath the jar lid, pushing up with most of his might, trying to pop the lid off. Maria sighed, taking a step off her bed, into the kitchen. Walking over to the counter, she took the lid from Splin gently, and began unscrewing it, then tossed the lid off onto the counter, taking the lid off with literally no hassle whatsoever. Splin's squid eyes expanded, the blue squid falling on the ground, staring up at Maria.

"What?! How, that was-" He shouted, Maria frowning at Splin.

"Splin, that was way too easy…" Maria said with a sigh. "You need to start lifting weights or something. That was just...wow."

Splin switched to Inkling form, sitting down on the floor with his legs crossed neatly, his face glowing in embarrassment. "Hey! I'm not that weak, Maria, come on! Ask Sharq, he'll vouch for me!"

Sharq sitting on his bed raised his head. "Honestly Splin, I gotta side with Maria on this one, we aren't exactly Splat X material. We do run away. A lot."

"Tactical retreating?" Splin suggested.

"Nah, more like cowardice." Sharq said, with a grin and a shrug.

"Oh come on, Tele-Cube, Salty, you guys?" Splin asked, turning to the kitchen counter.

Tele-Cube shook itself in a head shaking motion, and Salty retreated back into his crystalline shell.

"Ann-Gel, what about you?" Splin asked out loud.

A trophy pedestal could be heard shaking. A small female figurine of an Inkling with orange tentacles with orange eyes, wearing a White Tee and a pair of Pink Trainers. This was Ann-Gel, an amiibo figure. She broke her traditional amiibo pose, clearing her throat.

"Well, to be fair Splin, the only time I ever saw you fight was in those amiibo challenges, remember? You were caught off guard a couple of times, I've noticed. Other than that, I can't really say because you really haven't...brought me anywhere to see."

"Oh, right. Sorry Ann-Gel." Splin asid.

The small figurine smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry Splin, it's pretty fun hanging out with Maria, Salty, or Tele-Cube, but do me a favor later and place me on the roof so I can get a look of the place I'm in."

"Right, I'll be sure to do that." Splin said, Ann-Gel grinning as a result.

"There you have it Splin. Even the trophy is telling you to get stronger." Maria said, crossing her arms. "I think for the sake of both of you, we start training as soon as possible."

"Whoa, wait, training?" Splin asked.

"Ooh, training?" Sharq asked.

Maria smiled. "Yep, training. Used to do this with Rem and Ix around the time they were growing into Inklings. Sure, they used to wonder and question it at first, but look at them now."

"You mean they gained the ability to shoot lasers and stuff out of their hands from your training?!" Sharq asked.

Maria looked elsewhere. "I can't exactly take the credit for that, but hey, hard work and determination goes a long way!"

Splin leaned on a wall with one hand. "You do have a point...Sharq, what do you think?"

"Let's do it! Hey, if we finally get the ability to shoot stuff out of my hands or eyes, that'll be awesome!" Sharq said, hopping off his bed.

Splin sighed, taking his hand from the wall, stuffing it into his pockets, along with his other one. "Guess it's for the best. Where do we start, Maria?"

* * *

The three Inklings stood outside the house on the hills, overlooking Inkopolis. Maria stood proudly, inspecting each of the two younger Inklings carefully.

"Alright, let's get started." She told them, stooping down to the ground, picking up a rock.

"What's the rock for?" Sharq asked, tilting his head.

Maria smiled warmly. "It's for dodging, if you run into a particular scumbag who wants to pick a fight, sometimes you're going to have to dodge bullets in case he has a weapon. Like this!"

Maria lightly tossed the rock up and down, then hurled it towards the two brothers, who instantly scattered at the sight of a blunt object flying towards their faces.

"Whoa!" Splin yelped, hitting the dirt.

"Eep!" Sharq said, transforming into a squid, rolling away.

"Nice work so far! But, say that the scumbag has an automatic weapon…" Maria began, reaching down again, scooping up a bunch of pebbles.

Splin and Sharq yelped, each running down the hills from the tiny but painful rocks Maria chucked at them, Maria shaking her head each time the rocks found their mark.

* * *

"Sorry! You two okay?" Maria finally asked after an hour of rock tossing.

Splin and Sharq sighed, both of them covered in various scratches. Sharq lifted up his cap, pushing off pebbles that somehow made their way inside.

"It...could've been worse!" Sharq said positively.

"Ngh...you used to pelt your children with rocks, Maria?!" Splin asked, crossing his arms.

Maria blushed, looking away. "Not...exactly. Mostly it was pillows we'd find around the house. Sorry."

Splin laid on the ground, hissing somewhat when he realized he bumped into a rock on the ground. "I-It's fine, at least you didn't nail us in the eyes or something."

Maria stared at the two, then smiled hopefully. "So...are you two ready for the next segment?"

Splin flinched. _"There are segments?!"_

Sharq blinked. "What's next?"

Splin bolted up to his feet, staring at Sharq incredulously. "Dude, are you serious?! Maria, no disrespect intended, but I don't think we'd survive any more of your training!"

Maria huffed. "Splin, I'm just trying to help. Please, trust me on this, this will make you stronger."

Splin frowned. "How does chucking rocks at us make us stronger?"

"That was just the first exercise. Trust me, it seems pretty unorthodox at first, but it'll help you in the long run." Maria stated.

"...Well, then what's the next exercise?" Splin asked.

"There are times when you might feel like you're facing an opponent you feel you cannot defeat, like all your blows are hardly scratching them. That's why you might have to find weaknesses you may have to exploit!" Maria told them.

"Sounds simple." Splin said.

"Yeah, most of the Great Octoweapons we faced had these huge weak spot! That doesn't seem too bad." Sharq said.

"That may work for hulking behemoths, but we're going to be doing something a little different." Maria said, opening her arms. "Hit me!"

Splin and Sharq stared at Maria for a while. Splin stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared elsewhere, and Sharq looked straight down at the ground.

"What's the matter?" Maria asked.

"I...don't want to hit you." Sharq answered plainly.

"Maria, we're not going to hurt you." Splin said.

Maria cooed at the two. "That's really sweet…" Then she shifted her voice to something more dramatic. "But you can't go walking around like that, Splin and Sharq! You're going to get your tentacles kicked unless you man up and fight back!"

Splin and Sharq flinched at her drastic change in tone. Splin gulped, went over to Maria, then feinted a punch, weakly tapping Maria in her abdomen. Maria sighed, pushing him to the side, gesturing for Sharq to attempt. Sharq more or less did the same, changing into a squid, then lightly headbutting her, trying not to cause any damage.

"...This isn't working." Maria said. "You two realize that if I were attacking you, you two would be dead, right?"

"It's just- It's not like Turf Wars or anything where we know they'll respawn…" Splin said, twiddling his fingers.

"What you're saying is, as long as there aren't any consequences, you'd gladly splat someone?" Maria asked.

"Kinda...but also the fact that you'd whoop our tentacles in a fight." Sharq pointed out, Maria sighing.

"I'm not going to fight back, you two. Go on, give it your all, I won't mind!" Maria declared, staring each of the two down.

"...You're sure?" Splin said.

"Positive." Maria said with a smile.

"...Okay, wait here one second." Splin said, running inside of the house.

Sounds of rustling came from within the home. A while later, Splin burst out from the door, dragging behind an N-ZAP '85 ink gun and a Krak-On Roller with an odometer attached to the side, numbers on the odometer signifying achievements. Splin handed the Krak-On Roller to Sharq, who gripped it uneasily. The two looked up to Maria with semi-pleading eyes, to which Maria simply smiled and nodded at. Reluctantly, the two squid brothers raised their weapons, Splin's finger resting on the trigger, Sharq raising his Krak-On Roller above his head. Just as the two were about to attack, Maria became a blur, her tentacles becoming a light-green flash as she sprinted behind the two, lightly bonking the two brothers heads together. The Bate Brothers fell backwards on the ground, not much from pain, but from sheer fear that their hearts had stopped functioning.

"That concludes part two of our training: Always expect the unexpected!" Maria announced, patting the two on their heads.

Splin wheezed, sinking lower into the soft dirt and Sharq remained frozen like an Inkling statue that was toppled over, his eyes staring straight at the sky, a hint of a whimper on his lips.

* * *

At this point, Splin and Sharq took it upon themselves to go straight to Octo Valley, ask Cap'n Cuttlefish with protective gear, (which he fished out of a pile of smoking debris) and made their way back to the hills, the two brothers now wearing Hero Armor Helmets upon their noggins, shivering in anticipation of what Maria had planned for them next.

"Ah, welcome back you two! Ready for more?" Maria asked, sitting on the grass.

"S-Sure." Splin said, rubbing his arm.

"Really? You...um, don't look too hot." Maria told him, glancing over at Sharq next.

"Nah, nah, we're...raring to go! Right Splin?" Sharq said, looking over at his brother.

Splin simply nodded, shivering. Sharq blinked, walking behind Splin, hugging him as to stop the shaking. It didn't work, only causing the vibrations to carry over to Sharq, the two of them shaking in sync. Sharq let go, shrugging.

"Maria, please tell me this next trial of yours isn't difficult." Splin said.

"Actually, it isn't. I have in mind a simple workout planned." Maria told them, standing up.

"...What is it?" Splin asked.

Maria cleared her throat, her face shifting to something more serious. "One hundred push-ups. One hundred sit-ups. One hundred squats! Then a ten kilometer run, every single day! Think you two can handle it?"

The two brothers hit the dirt face down.

"...You two know what those are, right?" Maria asked hopefully.

"I...I-" Splin sighed, getting up from the ground. "I'm sorry... I just can't. Maria, thank you for all your hard work training us, but we can't do this anymore. We're being run ragged, I can't keep up with your training regimen."

Maria frowned. "Splin?"

Splin took off his helmet and set it on the ground carefully, smoothing down his tentacles, looking away from Maria. "I don't think we're fit out to be able to fight as well as you. I appreciate your attempts to teach us, but I don't think we're fit for intense fighting...or at least not yet."

Maria looked at Splin sadly, then turned to Sharq. "Sharq?"

Sharq frowned, taking off his helmet. "Maria, I have to agree with Splin. I'm getting pretty tired already...and I just don't want to get beaten up again, you know? Hope you'll understand."

Maria stared at the two for a while. Her eyes began filling up with a lime green liquid, Maria instinctively staring down at the ground, letting a few light green tears drop from her eyes and hit the ground. The brothers gasped, both reaching out for her, Maria stopping them by raising the palm of her hands, wiping her eyes with her tentacles.

"I-I'm sorry… I just miss the times when Rem and Ix used to always go up to me...they'd ask me if I could play with them...and this was usually what we'd do. Train hard, have fun doing it...I'm sorry Splin, Sharq, I just miss those days." Maria confessed, closing her eyes.

Splin blinked. "Oh…you just miss your family. Maria, why didn't you just tell us earlier? We could've helped you visit them."

"I know, but they're older now...they have their own families in their dimension. I just wish that I could've spent one more day with them before they grew older." Maria sighed. "Again, sorry about wasting your time you two…"

Maria began trudging back inside the house, absolutely gloomy. Splin and Sharq glanced at each other, then nodded simultaneously.

"Maria, wait up!" Sharq yelled, running in front of her.

Maria looked up at the younger Inkling standing in front of her.

"Look, we might not be able to survive your really intense training, or anything, I doubt we would be able to learn to fight as well as you, Rem, or Ix does." Sharq began.

Maria looked away guiltily.

"But hey, we can sure as shell try, right?" Sharq said with a grin.

Maria glanced back at Sharq, Splin running up to join him.

"Maria, we respect you a lot. We'll give our all at anything you wish, you have our promises." Splin said. "It sounds, really cheesy when I say it out loud, but it's true."

Maria smiled lightly at the two, who were eagerly awaiting her response. The response being another hug, Maria smothering the two.

"Thank you." Maria said.

Yep, Splin and Sharq have your back, Mrs. Altezio. Trust me.

"Even the disembodied voice is backing us up, so you'd know we mean it." Splin said.

Maria giggled somewhat, breaking the hug, looking at the two. "I hope you two don't mind, but I do have a favor to ask of you…"

"What's that?" Sharq asked.

"Promise me that even without special powers or anything…" Maria stared them straight in the eye. "That you'll stay safe. I don't want to lose anymore people in my life."

Splin and Sharq turned to each other, nodded, then looked back at Maria.

"We promise." The two said.

Maria smiled warmly. "...There's...one more request I have. Could you...um...bring me to visit Rem and Ix later, if you can, of course?"

Splin and Sharq thought it over. They stared back into the house. Tele-Cube laid dormant on top of the kitchen counter. The two then looked at the roof of the house. On top of the roof laid a destroyed beacon of sorts. The brothers then looked back at Maria.

"Now that'll be a longshot, I won't lie." Splin told her. "Another thing to add to the list of to-dos, I suppose."

Maria nodded, then yawned. "Alright...well, I'm a little tired, guys. Maybe we should take a break for today."

"You're tired already?" Sharq asked. "Oh well, guess it's high time we hit the hay anyways!"

The three then walked inside the house, already deciding on spending the rest of the day off, lounging comfortably down. They stayed that way until nightfall, when they turned in for the night, uttering "good nights" to each other as they drifted off into dreamland.

* * *

AN: It's not family fluff, as Maria isn't related by blood. So then I suppose it would be really weird dimensional friend fluff? I dunno, never got a degree at the writing school in terms of "fluffiness".

Moving on, reviewing the reviews of last quarter. Thanks Ultrapyre and Lean for reviewing again! I suppose my cooking skills aren't exactly the greatest, Ultrapyre. Makes sense why I tend to eat out more then. Lean, thanks again for the compliment!

Anyways, that's that, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to later buy Bayonetta and Corrin in that new Super Smash Bros. DLC! Later!


	9. An Ego to Rival Eight Limbs

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Ari's Octoling Attack "Challenge"**

Ari grimaced, walking away from his apartment home. Despite the events described in another story, he was extremely unhappy with how his father still treated him, as well as his cousins, and his friends. Hands in his Varsity Jacket, he walked along the street, alone.

" _I don't understand it."_ Ari thought. _"Why's father such a beast? He should've gotten over that by now…"_

Ari sighed, thinking on these thoughts as he made his way through the Inkopolis, the brisk morning air of Inkopolis causing the sigh to transform clearly into vapor in the cool air. Ari kicked away at the pavement, looking at the sky.

" _Sari, Rit and Bas are off somewhere else… If my rivals were here, at least I'd be able to challenge them. But that doesn't seem to be the case…"_ Ari thought, looking around the plaza, then looked over to the Booyah Base, frowning. _"The Booyah Base is closed too…"_

Ari bit his lip. Looking around once more, his eyes settled on a vending machine between the Squid Sisters' Studio and Inkopolis Tower, the Great Zapfish staring unflinchingly from upon its perch. Seeing nothing else to do, he walked over to the vending machine, about to purchase a drink, when he slipped. Looking directly underneath him, he gasped. A round hole in the ground was open, sending Ari through the earth into the ground. He screamed as he fell, in a totally manly way of course, then popped out the other side, landing roughly on the dirt.

"Oof!" Ari grunted, slowly getting to his feet, but not before his eyes popped from witnessing his new surroundings.

Ari stood underground, or at least he thought so, in Octo Valley. The great octopus formation the valley was named after loomed in the distance, rocky terrain and floating mechanical platforms surrounding him. Ari gulped, looking over his surroundings, turning to leave. Then he froze mid step.

" _A whole new world to colonize…"_ Ari thought. "...Aha, that's it! I, the Great Ari, can win the adoration and respect of everyone if I conquer a new, alien place, underneath Inkopolis!"

Ari then looked behind him, expecting a cheer from his fellow squadmates. No head nor tentacle was in sight.

"...Ah, right. I'm alone today." Ari said, frowning. "Well, I suppose then I'll just have to conquer this place by myself!"

Ari grinned smugly, raising his head high, taking a step towards the mechanical platforms. He then bonked his head into a certain Octoling.

"Agh!" Ari yelped, clutching his head.

"Hey!" The Octoling growled, shaking off the blow. "What the shell man?!"

Ari groaned, opening one eye. His pupil in that eye froze, looking upon probably the most deadly person he'd ever set eyes on. And to him, the cutest. (Though most can be said for most of his other flirting victims.) In front of him was none other than our debatably schizophrenic, equally debatable irresponsible Octoling herself, Tai. She wasn't looking too pleased though, her pupil irises glaring hatefully at the Inkling who had just bumped into her.

"Yeah, no ship voice, this guy just slammed right into me! And not in the fun way." Tai grumbled, rubbing her forehead.

Ari quickly composed himself, standing straight. _"C'mon Ari, get your act together…"_

Ari cleared his throat. "Ahem, greetings, subterranean beauty! My name is-"

"Ari, right? Yeah, no need, I already know who you are, you're harmless. Just leave before you get hurt." Tai said, walking away.

That statement took the wind out of Ari's sails, then bolstered it greatly. "Y-You have?! Wow, I really am starting to gain influence! This is great!" Ari said, smiling gleefully.

Tai blinked. She sighed, shrugged, then began making her way away, from Ari. "Yeah, cool, just do me a favor, and never speak of this to anyone."

Ari gulped, running after Tai. "Hold on! I never got- Ahem, I've never gotten to know the name of the beauty I had the pleasure of bumping into."

Tai rolled her eyes, putting a hand to her chin. "It's uh...T-41. There, satisfied?"

Ari scoffed. "Surely that cannot be your actual name. I'm not leaving until you tell me your-"

Ari reached for Tai's shoulder, but tripped. His grasp snagged onto Tai's Octoling Armor, pulling it off, revealing…

Her shirt underneath. Despite the fact that it still very well covered her top, Ari marveled at the sight at a woman's still clothed back. Tai on the other hand, turned back, her eyes glinting with fury.

"Oh ho ho, you're in for a real inkin' bad night, kelp brain. I tried to be nice." Tai hissed, turning around.

Ari pondered whether or not to stare, then decided instead to head for the hills, dropping Tai's armor, back to the hole whence he came from. Ari sprinted over to the manhole, desperately hopping up and down on it as if he expected to break it. The manhole stood firm. Ari frantically glanced over at the Octoling. Tai had re-equipped her armor, and was now currently charging after Ari, eyes burning bright with vengeance. Ari squeaked, shifting into a squid due to pure instinct, then slipped through the grates of the manhole, sliding through the other side, Tai following closely behind.

* * *

Now that we've established the "plot", we cut to our "heroes", Splin and Sharq, Super Jumping into the plaza, "flawlessly" landing on their "feet".

I got a sale on quotation marks, as you can tell.

"Neat, voice!" Sharq piped up, popping out of a vending machine as a squid, shaking off the bad landing.

"Yeah, that'll do WONDERS for the immersion." Splin said sarcastically, turning into an Inkling from his blue squid form.

I know, right? Heh, heh.

Splin rolled his eyes. "Sharq, honestly, did we have to get up this early in the morning? Judd hasn't even started his mid-morning nap yet."

Illustrating his point was Judd the cat, who was sitting on a small pillow resting in conjunction on top of a small pillar. Judd waved lazily towards the two.

"Well, we have to get a move on if we wanna get started in a Turf War!" Sharq said, lifting his Krak-On Roller, odometer proudly displaying splat numbers on the side.

Splin shook his head. "You're lucky I wanted to earn money for the new video games and beacon parts. Otherwise I'd be snoozing the day away in bed right now."

The two Inkling brother made their way towards the Inkopolis Tower, the Great Zapfish generating electricity slowly as it relaxed on top, when suddenly a clanging sound broke the silence. The brothers snapped to the right, Sharq instinctively brandishing his . Out of the manhole, Ari popped out, nervously ducking behind Sharq.

"Ah! S- I mean, rivals!" Ari exclaimed, shifting into Inkling form, shivering somewhat.

"Ari?" Splin asked.

"Ari!" Sharq warmly greeted the Inkling.

"L-Look, you must assist me!" Ari claimed, pointing towards the manhole. "Th-There was something down there, and it's coming for me! I provoked it by accident!"

Splin put a hand to his chin. "'Something'?"

Sharq lowered his roller, though he kept it at a deadly position adjacent to the manhole. "Don't worry Ari, we'll protect you!"

The manhole cover began shaking violently. Splin flinched, raising his fists defensively, though he knew it wouldn't do much good, mentally reprimanding himself for his lack of weaponry. Ari gulped, making makeshift martial art hand gestures. Sharq gripped the roller tightly, glaring down at the hole.

" _Is it another Octoweapon?!"_ Splin wondered nervously.

All of a sudden, undeterred by the cover above, a blur burst out of the manhole. Judd yowled suddenly, scampering off his pedestal and off into the tower for safety.

"Mrow, meow! (You guys can handle it, I'll be taking shelter in here, taking a catnap!)" Judd exclaimed.

The others simply deadpanned at Judd's cowardice. Judd peeked out of the doorway of the tower, giving them a thumbs...paws-up I suppose as if to relieve the tension. As soon as they turned back to the manhole, they realized it was broken open, an irritated Octoling standing above it.

"Tai?" Splin said, lowering his fists.

Tai glared in their direction. All three of the Inklings shrunk under her glare.

"You! Yeah you!" Tai said, pointing to Ari.

Ari's eyes darted from side to side. Nervously, he pointed to himself, sheepishly grinning. Tai rolled her eyes.

"No of course not, I'm looking for the Squid Sisters." Tai said sarcastically.

"Ah! Then good madam, they're right over-"

"OF COURSE I'M LOOKING FOR YOU!" Tai yelled, aiming an Octoshot at Ari.

"Whoa, whoa, Tai, chill!" Splin said.

"Stay outta this Splin, this is between me and Ari!" Tai shouted, advancing on the orange Inkling.

"Rivals, you know her?!" Ari exclaimed, looking over at the others, slowly backing away.

"Oops." The brothers gulped.

Splin sighed. "I suppose the cat's out of the bag now."

Judd popped out from the tower, bobbing his nonexistent eyebrows up and down, a rimshot going off in the background, and retreated back inside casually.

"Oh my- Was that really necessary?" Splin groaned.

"...Yes." Sharq and Tai agreed casually, Tai immediately going back into kill mode.

"Get over here Ari." Tai growled.

Ari shivered. "Can someone explain what's going on?! Who is this woman, how does she know me?!"

Splin sighed. He quickly checked around. The plaza was still empty, aside from probably Spyke in his alleyway. Spyke gave a curt nod, reassuring Splin that they were for the most part in the clear.

Splin looked over to Ari and Tai. "Tai, I'm sure you really want to strangle Ari after...whatever he did, but we need to calm down and talk things through."

"What?! Splin, that's stupid, I just have a few choice words for this pervert." Tai said, figuratively rolling up her sleeves, causing Ari to cower in fear.

"Tai, please. What happens if he blabs to everyone in Inkopolis about this?" Splin said.

Tai bit her lip. She groaned, taking a step back.

"You're lucky Splin and Sharq were here to save your butt." Tai grumbled, crossing her arms.

Ari wiped sweat from off of his forehead, getting up to his feet. "My gratitude, rivals! Well, I'll be off-"

"Ari, we need to talk." Splin said.

Ari weighed his options. He quickly chose the one where he felt he would be most safe. He began to take off in a sprint, only managing to trip over Sharq's Roller, which was deployed on the ground. Ari coughed.

"That was easy!" Sharq commented, using the paint roller head to lightly prop Ari against the wall.

Ari sighed. "Al-Alright, what'd you have to say?"

Splin began explaining the whole, "Octopi vs. Squid" war fiasco from ages ago, to which it led up to the present day, with the Inklings and Octarians. Sharq and Tai remained somewhat vigilant at first, but halfway through his first words, they slumped against the walls, lightly snoozing as Splin explained. Ari on the other hand had one hand to his chin, clearly absorbed in the heroics and tragedy of the tale.

"...and that leaves us here. Understand?" Splin asked.

"Indeed!" Ari speaks up, waking the others, much to their discontent. "Octarians are not to be seen in Inkling society less the Inklings spot one and declare another series of Great Turf Wars?"

Splin seemed flabbergasted. "Y-Yes, exactly!"

"Ha hah! But of course, only the Great Ari would be capable of comprehending such a drawn out explanation!" Ari proclaimed proudly.

Splin paused. "Drawn out? Oh…"

Ari froze. "Not to say your explanation was bad, by any means! I understand it perfectly now! And now I realize that you-"

Ari slid over to Tai, winking. "Are like a delicate rose that needs protecting."

Tai closed her eyes. "Wanna run that by me again? Roses can have thorns, casanova. Real sharp ones. I could show you some if you like."

Ari backed up. "Feisty."

Tai smirked, crossing her arms. "I get that a lot."

Splin blinked, frowning. "You...really don't, Tai."

Tai scowled. "Well it sure darn feels like it."

Sharq yawned. "Hey guys, how long has it been since we've been here?"

Splin blinked, reaching into his pocket, taking out his still hardly used phone, checking the time on the digital clock. "It's still a little early in the morning, why do you- Uh oh."

The group of Inklings looked straight ahead. The plaza was beginning to fill up with Inklings, and the Squid Sisters' studios' broadcast was just starting, a blank screen overlooking the plaza fizzling with static.

"Quick, through the manhole!" Splin informed the others.

Tai nodded, shifting into an octopus. Sharq switched into a squid, following after her. Splin did the same, looking over at Ari. Ari sighed, shifting into an orange squid. Splin nodded, hopping through the grates, Ari following a little too quickly, slamming into the small blue squid in front of him. The two of them tumbled through the tube, roughly landing on the other side in Octo Valley, the other two waiting and watching.

Splin stared up at Tai, then back at Ari. "...Hmm. Hope you don't mind Tai, but I think Ari's going to need to stay for a while."

Tai frowned. "What?! Why?!"

Splin stood up. "I'm not a huge fan of the idea either. But knowing Ari, he could draw a whole lot of attention to the manhole. Unless he promises to keep a secret…?"

Ari stood up straight. "Ah-"

"And I don't really think that's going to happen." Splin said.

Ari opened his mouth to protest. "Nonsense, I, the Great Ari, can keep this a secret! Trust me!"

As soon as he said that, Ari ran over to something in the distance that caught his eyes. "Whoa! What are these?!"

"...Splin, Sharq, please keep an eye on him. I swear, just one wrong move, and we'll end up as enemies again. As cool as it would be, I really don't feel like splatting anyone today, except for Ari if he screws something up." Tai said, sighing.

Sharq smiled. "Don't worry Tai, Ari's a cool guy! I'm sure he won't cause much trouble! After all, did we make too much of a-"

Both Splin and Tai stared in Sharq's direction, giving him an unconvinced look.

"C'mon guys, have a little faith!" Sharq said, staring at them with pleading eyes.

Tai closed her eyes, chuckling. "Wish we all had your optimism, dude. Splin, Sharq, do your best to keep your eyes on Ari. I'll...notify the others just to be safe."

Tai began to walk away, when a horrid thought hit her hard. _"Great, Aussie's rubbing off on me."_

"See ya Tai!" Sharq said, waving.

Splin bit his lip, adjusting his headphones, looking at Ari. "...Strange, Ari doesn't seem to be all, 'declarative' or 'dramatic' today. Maybe this won't be so difficult."

"Ah, where does this curious hole lead to?" Ari asked, before leaping headfirst through a kettle.

Splin and Sharq stared at the kettle Ari had jumped through for a while. Splin opened his mouth to say something in response to that, but was cut short when Ari came back out of the kettle, magenta ink sticking to some of his clothes.

"...Don't go in there." Ari said plainly.

* * *

The rest of the day went by slowly but steadily. A few hours passed, Splin and Sharq managing to explain to Ari what not to do, showing him around, Ari clearly interested in the ruins of Octarian society, carefully inspecting each and every piece of rubble.

"Hmm...the wars must've taken a toll on the Octarian society. Why do they just sit around in this wasteland?" Ari asked.

Splin looked away. "Right, forgot to tell you. Uh...we managed to negotiate a bit of a peace offering to them."

Ari grinned. "Clever, rivals. Though if I were there, I'd be able to establish long lasting peace with my negotiating skills!"

Splin rolled his eyes, while Sharq smiled.

"Sounds cool!" Sharq beamed.

Ari smirked. "Why of course rival, yours truly would make sure to stress the details, foresight is important!"

Upon saying that, all three Inklings tripped over something and landed face down in the dirt.

"Son of a-!" Ari groaned, biting off the last word.

"What'd we just trip over?" Sharq groaned, readjusting his Takoroka Mesh cap.

Splin pushed himself up, looking over at a large shard of metal embedded in the ground. He stooped down low, his eyes squinting. He lightly reached out and tapped the metal. As soon as he did so, something burst out of the ground.

"Ugh, Tai, stop bursting out of the-" Splin froze mid-sentence.

Now standing over the newly made crater in the ground was a machine. Splin groaned in realization.

"Crud." Splin muttered.

The machine appeared bipedal, as well as thirty feet tall. (three yards I believe is the metric equivalent?) The two limbs it stood on resembled tentacles, tentacles assembled using scrap metal, violet ink dripping rapidly through the cracks. The three Inklings looked up, greeted by a deteriorating octopus head, glaring down fiercely at them, sparks and magenta blobs of ink flying out of empty sockets where there were presumably six other tentacles sprouting out at one point.

"..." Splin grimaced.

Sharq adopted a fighting stance of sorts, Ari doing the same, looking like two kids who were imitating a martial artist.

"Hey guys!" A voice called.

The three whirled around. Tai was calling them, poking her head outside of a kettle, leaning on the side.

"Aussie's been yammering on about a Great Octoweapon we must've combed over. Let me know if you find-"

The three Inklings pointed in the direction of the mech standing above them. Tai's face went blank.

"Oh." Was her only reply.

The octopus machine's single eye glowed, before it began its assault.

* * *

AN: But of course, I have to be a jerk and end it here. Apologies, but I simply don't have enough time to finish this up in one chapter. Maybe next time, yeah?

Moving on, reviews tonight are neat, eh? Thanks Rynowm, Ultraypyre, and Lean for reviewing! Rynowm, thanks for the review, even if it isn't going to happen a lot, every bit helps! Ultrapyre, don't worry, I'm sure Maria didn't REALLY mean to hurt them. Too much. And Lean, I want to hug you, nice work getting that reference! Thanks again everybody, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to save up for Fire Emblem Fates!


	10. The Metallic Octopus

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **The Destructive Scrap Metal Octomachine**

"Run." Splin whispered, looking up at the metal octopus looming above them.

"Huh?" Sharq asked, Ari snapping in his direction.

"RUN!" Splin shouted, making a mad dash for the kettle.

Sharq gulped, taking Ari by the hand. "C'mon Ari!"

Ari nodded nervously, the two other Inklings breaking for the kettle, following closely behind Splin. The octopus spurted violet ink after them, the ink corroding the ground somewhat. Tai's eyes widened in alarm, the Octoling hopping out of the kettle momentarily, waving them into the kettle. Three squids hopped in, Tai following soon after in her own aquatic lifeform state, narrowly dodging another blast of ink following after them. The four of them landed inside, ducking halfway through the kettle in their respective cephalopod shapes.

"What IS that monstrosity?!" Ari asked.

"It's a-" Tai began, but was interrupted by Sharq.

"Hey wait, I wanna explain this one!" Sharq said.

Tai raised her index finger as if to say something, but slowly lowered it, smirking. "Sure, go ahead Sharq."

Sharq cleared his throat as the ground above shook. "So, this thing that's rampaging above us right now is a Great Octoweapon. The Octarians- That's Tai-" Sharq said, pointing at Tai, who grinned and waved. "Developed these machines to take down enemy Inklings or for defense!"

A drop of corrosive ink dripped through the pipe, instantly burning through the steel.

"I presume this is one of the less, 'defense-orientated' ones?" Ari asked.

"Beats me. We have so many of these things sitting around somewhere." Tai said.

"Mmm-hmm! All in all, it's pretty awesome! Kinda dangerous, but awesome." Sharq said.

Splin nodded. "Yes, I have to admit, these Octarian machines are rather remarkable in their ingenuity."

Just then, a long tentacle smashed through the grates above, quickly snatching Splin by one of his tentacles.

"I just wish they weren't so deadllllllyyyyyy!" Splin yelped, being dragged up and out of the kettle.

"Splin!" All three shouted.

Sharq quickly slid out of the tube and leaped from the kettle, watching Splin getting flailed around like a ragdoll.

"Shaaaaaaaarq!" Splin yelled.

"Splin, are you alright?!" Sharq asked.

The metallic octopus proceeded to slam Splin into the ground. The tentacle rose, dragging a discombobulated Inkling into the air, dazedly looking around.

"Ohhhhh…" Splin groaned, his eyes spinning. "Not particularly…"

Sharq frowned, staring straight at the mechanical octopus. Reaching at his back, he pulled out his Krak-On Roller, cautiously deploying it on the ground and rolling towards the mech. Using one of its tentacles, the octopus slammed the ground, causing Sharq to duck into his own blue ink. Unfortunately for Splin, he had to take most of the damage of the blow, as that was the only other tentacle the octopus had. Hopping out of harm's way, Sharq flailed the roller, covering the ground in front of him, allowing him to dip himself in that ink. He continually followed this pattern of flicking and ducking until he was just about underneath the octopus' head.

"...What do I do now…?" Sharq wondered aloud, looking up at the octopus.

Splin shook his head, snapping himself out of his daze. "Sharq! Hit the tentacles, it can't stand up if it doesn't have anything to stand on!"

Sharq blinked, looking up at the tentacle legs. Raising his roller, he brought it down on the lone tentacle, all of the blue ink from his roller weapon vanished.

"Aw, Sharq, did you forget to refill?!" Splin asked.

Sharq grinned sheepishly. "Yeah."

The octopus, seeing an opportunity, capitalized on Sharq's weakness by dropping straight down. Sharq quickly hopped to the left, dust and ink tossed up in the air from the impact of the octopus directly slamming the ground. The body slam managed to get the octopus to release its grip on Splin, who began running towards Sharq.

"Sharq, quick, refill your ink, when that thing gets up again, it's going to exact its vengeance." Splin warned Sharq, who nodded, lightly dousing the ground beneath him with blue ink using a very low quantity left on his roller.

Sharq dipped into the blue ink, swimming in circles as to gather as much ink as he could. Popping back out, he slammed one of the tentacle repeatedly with his roller, battering it like smacking a bug with a rolled up newspaper.

Sharq looked up at the sky, a curious look on his face.

Not a great simile, eh?

Sharq shrugged, going back to bashing the tentacle. "Why isn't it breaking?!"

"The scrap on its tentacles serve as an armor alone...we'll need more firepower." Splin commented, tapping the tentacle.

As if on cue, Tai and Ari burst out of the kettles, the both of them wielding Octoshots.

"Alright Jungle Hat, let's whoop some tentacles." Tai said with a smirk.

"But of course!" Ari said, aiming down the Octoshot.

The two rushed the tentacles, blasting it with ink, orange and violet. Despite the similar colors Tai used, it still seemed to seep through and damage the tentacle she shot at, the machine's remaining limbs flailing. Tai smirked evilly.

"Heh...next time, stay in the ground." She told the machine.

The machine responded with a blast of ink towards Tai, which knocked her back, Tai grunting from the impact.

"Tai!" Splin shouted.

Tai shook her head, quickly leaping back onto her feet. "I'm good, don't worry." She grinned, lightly hitting her chestpiece with her Octoshot. "Armor, brah."

Splin nodded, turning back to the octopus. He was met with a tentacle that smacked him back, sending him into a crumbling building. He groaned, rubbing the back of his head.

"I think I might have to ask you for a spare set of armor later…" Splin said through grit teeth, staring at the mechanical octopus.

The octopus was quicker than ever now, whirling around using one tentacle. The three still standing hopped over the tentacle each time it whipped around, shooting immediately after, then repeating the jump each time the tentacle whipped towards them. Sharq retreated after a third stroke, going over to his brother.

"You're really fragile, man." Sharq said, picking his younger brother up.

"...Yeah." Splin muttered in defeat, resting his head on Sharq's shoulder.

"You guys go ahead and beat up the Octoweapon, I'm going to get Splin to a safe place!" Sharq shouted, running off, Splin weakly waving his goodbyes to the other two.

"Gotcha Sharq." Tai said, cocking her Octoshot. "Looks like it's just me and you Ari."

Ari nodded, the two jumping over yet another tentacle spin. "Sorry about earlier!"

Tai smirked. "If you really wanted to see what was under there, you could've at least taken me to dinner first."

Ari's eyes widened. Tai rolled her own, chuckling.

"Just kidding man." Tai said, experimentally firing at the octopus. "This thing's shell is hard as stone, we're not going to make a dent with these weapons. If only the Skell were active…"

"Then, what's our plan of action Tai?" Ari said. "...I can refer to you as that, right?"

Tai nodded, butting the tentacle as it whirled around with her Octoshot, causing a scrap plate to fall off, exposing a purple-green tentacle underneath. "Yeah, why not?"

"Well, you know...I was worried you'd be peeved at what happened earlier." Ari said, shooting at the now exposed tentacle, filling it with orange, the ink burning through the organic materials underneath, the tentacle fading weakly underneath.

"Hey, sometimes you can't hold grudges." Tai told him, kicking the tentacle. The remaining scrap metal that held the appendage laid destroyed on the ground, violet and tangerine colors dripping out through the cracks. "I'm not REALLY going to maim someone who just so happened to strip me by accident."

Ari's mind sighed in relief.

"Well, maybe I would've splatted you if it weren't for Splin and Sharq." Tai told him.

Ari visibly flinched at the thought. Tai noticed and laughed.

"Oh my gosh, your face...heh heh, priceless." Tai said with a smirk.

Ari frowned. "I don't understand how they manage to put up with THAT."

Tai grinned. "Hey, what can I say? Just one of my many charms."

The two cephalopods stared at the remains of the octopus. Ink was spurting out uncontrollably from its sockets, staining the ground violet. The "head" of the octopus made one last ditch attempt, rolling towards the two. Tai simply sidestepped out of the way, while Ari on the other hand made a panicked dive to the left. The octopus head, upon missing, landed on the ground, ink fading in defeat.

"Nice." Tai said, holstering her Octoshot, staring over at Ari.

Ari blinked, then reached for his own Octoshot, presenting it to Tai. She shook her head.

"Nah man, go ahead and keep it. We needed to get rid of some of them anyways." Tai said.

Ari glanced at the Octoshot in his hands, then slung it over his back, wearing it heroically. "You have my gratitude."

"Yeah, you're welcome." Tai told him.

Tai walked over to a kettle, shifting into octopus form, sliding through the grates. Ari stood still and watched, the sound of ink still trickling out of the Great Octoweapon the only thing breaking the silence. Tai popped her head out of the kettle after a few minutes.

"Well? You coming or what?" Tai asked, hands on her cheeks, just dying to see what Ari's choice would be.

Ari grinned, then went over to the kettle, hopping down through the grates after the Octoling.

* * *

"Splin, you good dude?" Tai asked, staring down at Splin.

"Aside from the feverish feeling, fine." Splin said, laying his head down on a table, Sharq looking over him.

The four of our heroes were sitting in the Rec Room of the Octarian HQ. As usual, a certain energetic catfish danced around in its pen nearby, generating electricity for the base to use. The room was mostly empty at the moment, only a few Octoling and Octotroopers walking to and fro, giving the Inklings curious glances every so often.

"You sure it's um...safe to remain here?" Ari asked Tai, looking around at the Octolings passing by.

"Relax. No one's gonna try anything as long as you're with us." Tai said, propping her boots up on the table, leaning back in her chair.

Ari sighed. "It's just amazing how a whole different society remains down here without us on the surface noticing. You ever try appealing to the Inkling society?"

Tai scoffed. "And look like a bunch of weak cowards? No, some of the radicals up there and down here wouldn't like that, most Inklings without a brain would shoot at the first sight of a tentacle."

Ari frowned, looking down at his legs. "So you just sit down here, waiting?"

Tai sighed. "Yep. That's pretty much how it's always been. That Great Zapfish thing that happened earlier, the one where it went missing, you know?"

Ari racked his brain for a while, until it came to him. He nodded.

"Yeah...that was us. Didn't work out well for either side really." Tai said, putting a hand on her cheek, leaning forward. "Now the Inklings in charge of defending Inkopolis are suspicious of us. They really won't give any second thought, I'm sure if it weren't for those two..."

Both Ari and Tai looked over at Splin and Sharq. Sharq tapped Splin on one of his ears, to which Splin tried to shoo Sharq away, only getting Sharq to chuckle at Splin's inability to do anything. Splin sighed, looking down at the table sadly. Sharq flinched, lightly patting Splin on the back, getting Splin to manage a small smile at his brother's antics. Tai grinned, looking back at Ari.

"Pretty sure I speak for both of us when I say our lives would probably be pretty ship without those two." Tai said.

Ari stared at her, then glanced back at the brothers. Ari sighed.

"I suppose you're right. My rivals have got to be one of the better people I've met in this world, to be honest." Ari said. "Don't know too many other people who'd ever want to participate in my challenges, even if it wasn't their prime choice."

Tai nodded, staring at the ceiling. "Makes you wonder how it'd all go without them."

Ari grinned. "Sure would be much more…"

"Boring." The two said simultaneously.

The two snickered. Everyone stayed in the room, relaxing at the tables. After a while, Splin managed to get his head up and off the table.

"I think we should take our leave. We need to pick food up for ourselves and Maria." Splin announced, standing up somewhat unsteadily.

Sharq noticed this, then went to help support Splin, taking his younger brother's arm and slinging it over his shoulder. Splin murmured his thanks to Sharq, to which Sharq smiled.

"No problem bro. Ari, you coming?" Sharq asked eagerly.

Ari blinked, standing up. "Sure."

"Alright, let's go gang!" Sharq said, walking away.

"Since when were we a 'gang'?" Splin asked with a smirk.

"I dunno!" Sharq said, chuckling.

Ari began following the two younger Inklings outside the base, but not before taking a final glance towards Tai. She waved to Ari, who waved back just before he left via kettle. Changing into an orange squid, Ari hopped up through the kettle grates after Splin and Sharq, who were already well on their way to their home. The three walked across the mostly barren landscape, passing metal platforms and buildings. All three were just about to leave Octo Valley, until they came across one final obstacle.

"Ahoy lads!" Cap'n Cuttlefish greeted the three.

Standing above the manhole cover leading to Inkopolis, all of them froze. They spun around carefully, all with blank faces. Standing next to a scrap metal shack was Cap'n Cuttlefish, an elderly Inkling with a magnificent beard and a raggy shirt decorated with medals.

"..." All three were silent.

"Agent A, Agent B, mind tellin' me who the newbie is?" Cap'n asked.

Splin and Sharq blinked, looking over to Ari.

"He's…" Splin stopped, attempting to think of something.

"Agent C!" Sharq declared, surprising everybody.

"...Agent C, eh?" Cap'n asked, staring him down. "Where'd you get that Octoshot from, whippersnapper?"

Ari looked around, then cleared his throat, adopting a heroic pose that would probably involve a scarf flowing in the wind if it were available. "Ahem, yes sir! Agent C here, we just got back from eliminating a rogue Great Octoweapon with little casualties, the Octolings equipped me with an Octoshot to defeat the Octoweapon, and, being the gentleman I was, did just that with the help of these two! Quite the amazing team if I do say so myself!"

Cap'n blinked, narrowing his eyes. The three began sweating nervously. Then Cap'n smiled.

"Alrighty, nice work Agent C! Agent A and B, good work, I'd invite you in for some crabby cakes-"

"Nah, no, it's fine!" All three piped up, confusing Cuttlefish.

"Sorry Cap'n, we have to go, we have a...Turf War appointment?" Sharq thought, sending Splin and Ari deadpanning straight into the ground.

Cap'n Cuttlefish grinned. "Really? New-fangled regulations keep popping up, didn't know you had to go to appointments anymore. Well, I won't take up your time, get out there and kick some tentacles you three!"

"We'll be sure to, thanks Cap'n." Splin said, hopping through the manhole, quickly gesturing for the others to follow him.

Falling through the pipe, the three landed back outside in Inkopolis, where the light was already beginning to fade, making way for the night sky. Blinking in an attempt to get used to the light, Splin, Sharq, and Ari made their way out of the manhole.

"Huh…" Splin muttered, looking around.

Already, the Inklings appeared to be making their way out of the plaza. Shopkeepers in the Booyah Base watched them go, tiredly waving. The Squid Sisters left their studio, walking and talking about how the day went, Spyke watching the plaza population disperse.

"Well rivals, I have to thank you for that extremely enriching experience!" Ari declared, jumping out of the manhole. "You have my gratitude for showing me around Octo Valley, and meeting quite the rose." Ari lowered his voice at the last part.

"You aren't going to tell anyone, right?" Splin said.

Ari smirked. "Of course not! Wouldn't dare wish harm upon them."

Sharq smiled. "See Splin? Nothing to worry about."

Splin nodded. "Thanks Ari."

"No problem, Splin." Ari said, walking away.

Splin blinked. "You called me by my actual name."

"Hmm?" Ari hummed, looking back at the manhole.

"Nothing." Splin said.

Ari smirked. "Until we meet again, rivals!"

Ari ran off, exiting the plaza. Splin and Sharq left the manhole, doing the same, walking away from the plaza as the dusk began settling in.

"What do you feel like eating Sharq?" Splin asked.

"Hot dogs, man." Sharq said. "Maybe we could have a few marshmallows for dessert?"

Splin laughed, slugging Sharq on the shoulder. "Mr. Splatfest Reference over here, huh?"

Sharq shrugged, looking around at the city buildings. Blinking, suddenly he spotted something in a glass window. Without any second thought, he slammed his face against the window, scanning the insides.

"Hey Splin, check this out!" Sharq called, smothering his face against the glass pane.

Rolling his eyes at his older brother's childlike curiosity, Splin walked over to the window, glancing in. "...A remote airplane?"

Inside was a box with a see-through plastic, where a tiny RC plane complete with a remote control sat inside.

"Yeah, man!" Sharq said.

"...Why are you so interested in the airplane?" Splin asked.

Cameo reasons?

Sharq blinked, looking over at Splin. "It's an airplane man! If we can't fly, this is the next best thing."

Splin stared at Sharq, then sighed. "We can Super Jump, remember?"

"Super Jumping isn't flying." Sharq said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Splin stared at his brother for a while, then back at the toy plane. "You're not leaving until we buy the plane, are you?"

"It's my destiny to buy this plane!" Sharq announced, playfully putting his hands on his hips in a mock stubborn fashion.

"Sharq, come on, that's not how destiny works. If that was even a possibility, who would go so far as to change their fates just to play with something? Knowing you, I'm pretty sure we'd smash the plane into the ground." Splin said.

* * *

Somewhere, a white haired youth stopped what he was doing, and stared straight at the sky. Shaking it off, he went back to what he was doing, brandishing a golden sword.

* * *

Sharq blinked. Then he rushed inside the shop, ignoring the words of his brother.

"Sharq!" Splin cried out. "Get back here, you're not buying that-"

* * *

"Maria, check it out, we bought a plane!" Sharq announced, showing the boxed plane to Maria.

"Cute!" Maria commented, tapping the box.

"Darn it Sharq…" Splin said, facepalming.

* * *

AN: My Path is Clear!: Howdy everybody! So, a totally unrelated and pretty stupid update, still haven't found my lost copy of Majora's Mask 3D. Anyone out there, if you found a copy and are hoarding it, I will come over to your house, and give you a stern talking to. But honestly not in the mood, since I'm getting hyped for FE: Fates. Apologies if this update came a little later than usual, I'm trying to juggle a couple extra stories, get quests and contracts done, and all the like, needless to say, it's tough trying to slack off on all these things at once. :3

Aside from that, how 'bout we talk reviews? Thanks write n wrong and RMVHXtreme for reviewing! Glad you enjoyed the hilarity write n wrong, really gives me motivation. RMVHXtreme, you're right, after looking over the Tai chapters, it does make a little less sense for her to narrate, considering she's more of the action centered gals. I'll make sure to make it more third person whenever using Tai, I feel like that'll work better.

Thanks again everybody, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I really need to save up money this year!


	11. Three Hearts, No Gifts

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Three Hearts Are Hard To Compensate For**

Willie stared up at his apartment's ceiling with wide open eyes, the weight of blankets keeping him stuck in bed. It's been a few years after that initial interview, Willie and Zip happily living their lives and performing their jobs rain or shine. That being said:

Willie was extremely concerned on what to get Zip for a Teuthiatine's Day present.

Teuthiatine's Day, another Inkling tradition based off of a certain other holiday, wasn't too much of a celebrated holiday anymore in Inkopolis since the elementary days when the young and foolish squiddies went around gifting multiple paper hearts to each other. However, it was generally a good idea for those in serious relationships to spend all their gold, doubloons, or whatever else they used for currency on sappy gifts proclaiming their love. As such, one would assume that someone like Willie, bursting with energy, would've already decided on something spectacular for their loved ones.

Not really.

Willie sat up straight on his bed, pushing away the sheets with a sigh, clutching his cheeks in his palms.

" _C'mon Willie...need to find something for your girl. But what? What does she want that she doesn't have?"_ Willie thought to himself, looking down. _"Jewelry?"_

Willie reached into his shorts pockets, pulling up nothing but dust bunnies which somehow remained untouched inside.

" _Crab. That's out."_ Willie thought to himself, slumping backwards on his bed.

Staring at the ceiling, Willie waited and waiting, silently hoping and praying for a thought to come to him. He heard nothing except for the outside sounds of kids playing and automobiles drifting by in the streets. Willie closed his eyes, waiting for something to come to him. After a few minutes he groaned, stood up, and kicked his apartment door.

"Oh, whoops!" Willie hummed, reaching for the doorknob.

Twisting the doorknob, Willie opened the door, then kicked the door as to get that last bit of effect he had initially intended to get. Smirking, he began dashing to his left, not before roundhouse kicking the poor door again to close his apartment, the hinges screeching from the force. Willie sprinted downstairs his apartment building, bursting out of the front doors, running down the streets. His run slowly shifted into a walk, Willie taking in the sights and sounds of the city. Nothing much was happening, just another normal day. Willie frowned, scanning stores and buildings for anything he could get his beloved waitress soulmate.

" _...Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. I could ask someone for advice, haven't given anyone a Teuthiatine's Day present in a long time, not since squidnergarden...maybe I could ask someone with a little more experience?"_ Willie thought to himself as he walked.

"Ha ha! Yesterday, I met the most beautiful woman I've met in my life!" A voice shouted.

Willie smiled. _"That sounds like opportunity calling!"_

Willie broke into a sprint, whirling around a building corner, finding himself in the Inkopolis Plaza. Shopkeepers were taking inventory, Spyke was tapping on the ground as usual, and the Squid Sisters were broadcasting the stage rotation changes. Willie was somewhat confused, scanning the plaza for whomever shouted earlier.

"Wha? Hello?" Willie called.

"Really now, was she really that good-looking?" A female voice chimed up from above him.

Wille gulped, recognizing the voice. Willie walked out into the plaza, and looked up. Standing on the top floor of the plaza by the Squid Sisters' studio was our as-of-late somewhat less egomaniac star of the show himself, Ari, leaning on a railing, almost swooning. Sari sat nearby, watching him with an amused interest.

" _Oh, please no."_ Willie groaned in his mind.

"Ah...she was so direct, so assertive." Ari gushed, leaning back. "Dear Sari, your cousin has been lovestruck by nothing short of the most amazing women on the Earth."

"No offense cous, but didn't you say that about the last few hundred girls you've met?" Sari asked, grinning.

Ari blinked, standing up straight, pushing away from the railing. "Cousin, you wound me! She was nothing less of a predator, hungrily hunting after my hearts!"

Sari rolled her eyes, giggling. "Well, if she brings out the improvised poetry in you, I suppose she must be quite the catch."

"The catch of the day, the week, the year, she's amazing!" Ari said, spinning around. "The perfect Teuthiatine's Day date...that's what I need for a woman like that!"

Willie, swallowing his pride, walked over up to Ari and Sari, waving. "Uh, hey! Loudmouth."

Ari stopped spinning, flailing his arms in an attempt to revert to a normal posture. "Oh- Uh, eh, heeeeeey dude...man?"

"Yeah, 'sup!" Willie greeted him.

The two male Inklings stood in what would be an awkward silence if it weren't for the constant music being played over at the Inkopolis Tower, Sari glancing from Ari to Willie curiously.

"Alright, well, I came here to ask you something, Ari." Willie began.

"Sure, sh- Ahem, what do you wish to implore of me?" Ari asked, leaning on the railing again.

"I overheard you talking about a lady you like-"

"You HEARD that?!" Ari gasped, nearly falling off the side of the railing, Sari and Willie catching him by his legs.

"Yep, a couple blocks back!" Willie said as he pulled up.

"Ari, to be fair, you weren't being very discreet about your relations." Sari told him, getting Ari to grow somewhat red.

"C-Curses." Ari "cursed", looking to the side.

"No no no, I think it's cool and all that you finally have a person to call your significant other man." Willie reassured him.

"Er, well, she's just an acquaintance." Ari corrected.

"Oh." Willie frowned, then a prying smile spread across his face, poking Ari with his elbow. "Love at first sight, eh?"

Ari somehow managed to blush harder, slapping away Willie's elbow. "Oh, shush peasant! You don't even KNOW her."

"Heh, sorry man! But hey, just out of curiousity, how do you think you're going to pick this chick up?" Willie asked sincerely.

Ari's face went blank. "Oh ship." A glaring flaw ran through Ari's mind. _"Will flirting work on Tai?! What's the first thing Octolings like?! Uh oh...I'm in trouble!"_

"Uh…" Ari began sweating.

"Ari?" Willie asked. "You alright man?"

At this point, Ari's pupils had shrunken to that of a pea, his face flushed white. "I'll get back to you on that!"

With that said, Ari began running away. Sari, completely taken by surprise, waved her goodbyes with a sheepish smile, then dashed after her fleeing cousin.

"That didn't help." Willie commented, looking out with a blank face. _"Yeesh, the speed at which Ari runs could give Splin and Sharq a run for their- Wait a minute…that's it!"_

Willie grinned, looking up and over outside of Inkopolis. Very far in the distance, a familiar wooden house could be spotted, with two Inklings looking like specs toiling hard. Willie then transformed into a yellow squid, aiming towards the house. He leapt up into the air with a burst of yellow ink, spiraling as he flew through the air. Eventually, he managed to make it halfway. Hitting the soft dirt below, he immediately Super Jumped again, this time nearly about to land, soaring high above the hills.

* * *

"Aw, Splin, do we really have to do all this work? Doesn't seem like it would be much help." Sharq complained, lugging around a bunch of wooden boards.

"Look, Sharq, I don't enjoy the prospect of getting free splinters either, but we need to board up the house. You felt that dimensional tremor, I think as the few people in this world who know what this means, we should at least take precautions." Splin explained, raising a hammer as to demonstrate. "What if an attack blasts us from far away or an ancient evil or some video game stuff like that happens? You can't bunny hop away from a mutant bunny, if that's a thing that exists."

"True, true." Sharq said.

As they spoke, the two brothers could hear something slam into the side of the house. The two flinched, Splin turning around to face Sharq.

"See?! That's what I'm talking about!" Splin yelled, running around the house. "Get ready Sharq, we could be facing yet another threat!"

Sharq nodded, reaching offscreen, grabbing his Krak-On Roller, then followed Splin around the house. Instead of a vile creature or robotic ninja assassin like he'd expect, instead there laid Willie, who got up to his feet quite quickly.

"Hey, Music Man, Shady, how you two doing?" Willie asked energetically.

"Oh, hi Willie!" Sharq greeted him, dropping his Krak-On Roller, where it landed softly on the ground below.

Splin lowered his weapon. "Ah, hey Willie. What brings you here?"

Willie stood up straight, then cleared his throat, leaning on the side of the house. "You two have girlfriends, right?"

Splin and Sharq blinked, each facing Willie with the blankest of stares.

"Uh...I'm only fourteen." Splin spoke up.

"So?" Willie asked with a grin. "Pretty sure there are a couple of people just as young as you who are just swimming in- Uh, romantics."

Splin sighed, shaking his head. "Never been in those kinds of relationships, sorry. Sharq?"

Sharq laughed, leaning on his younger brother's shoulders. "I'm only a year older than you Splin, what makes you think I would have more experience?"

"Err...you have one more year of experience than me?" Splin said, only prompting Sharq to laugh a bit harder.

"Nah. Sorry Willie, we're both just a bunch of squids without a girl to call ours!" Sharq said with a chuckle. "Unless you want tips on how to be a cool brother, then I don't think we'll have much material to work with."

Willie smiled, turning away while still looking at the brothers. "I don't doubt that Shady! Thanks anyways guys!"

With that, Willie shifted into a squid, and Super Jumped away, Splin and Sharq waving him off.

"Huh." Splin cleared his throat, picking up the wood. "Back to building."

"Oh hey wait, Splin, after we're done building, wanna go down to Inkopolis to get some practice for the new Splatfest?" Sharq asked, picking up wood as well.

"There's a new Splatfest? What's the theme?" Splin asked as he entered the house.

"Um...Red and Blue I think." Sharq told him, following behind.

"Now I've heard of some rather lackluster Splatfests before, but that takes the cake. What's the appeal in choosing between two colors?" Splin asked with a smirk.

"Splin? Sharq?" Maria's voice called from inside.

Splin and Sharq quickened their pace somewhat, walking straight into the house. The two brothers stopped. Maria was standing up, waving at them nervously. Her eyes constantly glanced to the right. Splin and Sharq followed her gaze suspiciously, then froze, dropping their building supplies. Sitting in the kitchen was a pair of large animals, staring back at the two, Tele-Cube glowing nearby, Ann-Gel hopping as best as she could using her trophy pedestal over to Maria for safety. One appeared to be an orange dragon with great wings and a flaming tail and the other appeared to be some sort of blue turtle (no relation) with dual cannons sticking out of its shell, both blinking in confusion, taking in their new surroundings.

"Whoa." Sharq said, staring in awe at the two.

"...Voice?" Splin asked, looking up at the ceiling.

* * *

Moving on from that nod to Nintendo's interesting Splatfest selection-

"Voice, wait, don't leave! What do we do with them?!" Splin asked, speaking up to the sky.

Feed them or something, don't leave them hungry Splin!

"But-"

* * *

Like I said, moving on, Willie was walking through Inkopolis with his hands in his Varsity Jacket's pockets, frowning. The daylight was already fading, and Willie was getting nowhere with any gift ideas. Crestfallen, he walked around Inkopolis, walking through the sidewalk along the streets, passing by other Inklings. A particular instance Willie came upon made him especially peeved, walking past an Inkling couple, one happily hugging the other, a ring on her finger, smiles on both of their faces.

" _Aw man! I'm getting nowhere! What can I do now? No money, nothing! It's hopeless! I can't think of anything special…"_ Willie thought, kicking at the ground underneath his feet.

Willie thought to himself as he walked. Eventually, his subconsciousness directed him back to Oahu, where he leaned on a newspaper dispenser nearby, the sign on the inside dictating that his work hours weren't until tomorrow. Willie could only stare straight up at the sky, dreaming up ideas.

"Work doesn't start until tomorrow, you know."

Willie squeaked, then turned around, where lo and behold, Zip herself, was leaning next to him.

"Zip? What are you doing here?" Willie asked.

"Looking for you. I had a strange feeling in my gut you'd be around here." Zip explained, letting her head drop on her boyfriend's shoulder.

"Oh." Willie managed. "Um, sorry?"

"William, what were you doing wandering the city on Teuthiatine's Day alone? C'mon dude, I wanted to spend time with you." Zip told him.

Willie sighed, looking away melancholily. "Trying to find you a Teuthiatine's gift."

Zip perked up. "What? That's what you've been doing running all over the city for?"

"Wait, how'd you know I was running around so much? Have you been watching me?" Willie asked, dumbfounded.

Zip smiled warmly. "No Willie, I ran into Ari. He was kinda flustered, though he mentioned bumping into you. It's sweet of you to try and find me a gift, you know."

Willie blushed. "It would've, if I'd have found one."

Zip suddenly leaned in and kissed Willie on the cheek, taking him by surprise. "Dude, it's fine. You're the only gift I could ask for. Besides, who goes to all that trouble for Teuthiatine's Day anymore?"

"I do?" Willie told her, getting Zip to giggle somewhat.

"Well, thanks so much for trying for me Willie." Zip said, hugging him. "I'm sorry too."

Willie blinked, looking down at Zip. "Wha? W-Why are you apologizing, Zip?"

Zip's own face reddened. "I...kinda tried to find you a gift too. I couldn't either."

Willie smiled. "Guess we're both hopeless when it comes to finding gifts, huh?"

The two laughed, staying in each other's grip for a while, Zip comfortably shifting somewhat in Willie's warm hug. After a while, the two broke the hug, staring straight into each other's eyes dramatically-

"Tai! I've got a present for you!" Ari shouted in the background, saving me from having to awkwardly write romance.

Zip looked around suddenly, confused. "Did you hear that?"

Willie blinked, glancing around at the city. "...No?"

"Hmm. Must've been my imagination." Zip said, walking out of Willie's personal space and away, disappointing Wilie somewhat. "Hey, Willie, you coming?'

"Huh? Where are we going?" Willie asked in interest.

Zip smiled, turning back. "I was thinking instead of us serving dinner, we'd treat ourselves for once. Make up for both of our follies, you know? Just a simple Teuthiatine date, how about it Willie?"

Willie grinned, kissing Zip on the cheek, then gestured ahead with open palms. "Sounds awesome. Lead the way, I'll follow behind!"

Zip smiled warmly, dashing down the street, gesturing for Willie to follow. Willie chuckled, following suit, the two Inklings dashing through the city together in the light of dusk with naught a care in the world.

* * *

AN: Happy day early Valentine's Day! I apologize, I wanted to do a bit of a Valentine's Day thing, but hot dang, after multiple attempts, this is what I ended up with. Eh, maybe it isn't that bad, but I feel like if I had a little more romance experience it could've gone better. Oh well, back to playing video games alone...online with a full team of funny people, of course! Fun "fact": Splin and Sharq's lack of romantic experience is pretty much a direct rule set on them for my lack of romantic ideas, so don't expect any serious shipping involving either of them in the future! (Or at least not with Splin, Sharq seems like a more likely candidate.)

"Hey!"

Other than that, have you noticed that love is in the air? Well, that's sort of obvious, but you know what else is in the air? Reviews I guess, that's a thing. Thank you RMVHXtreme and sebastian G for reviewing! I suppose the Ari x Tai thing kinda stuck with me, maybe we'll delve a little more into that next time! sebastian G, thanks for the review, nice to see you again. Other than that, thanks again for reading everyone, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to train to be the very best like no one ever was for Splatfest! Adieu!


	12. The Idols and the Brief Briefing

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Agents 1, 2, and 3...also A and B?**

Sitting down in a comfortable beach chair, Callie looked out at the plaza from inside the Squid Sisters' studios, humming a song to herself. Callie of the Squid Sisters was an older squid, with an age not entirely clear to the public. Nevertheless, she burst with the energy of youth, bubbly black tentacles tinged pink at the ends, wearing a stylish black and pink outfit with boots to match made her look like quite the catch to the younger squids. Inkopolis respected her and her cousin, Marie, as amazing singers, dancers, and overall squid pop star extraordinaires! Callie was completely fine with that, she adored her fans just as much as Marie did, even if some were a bit more intrusive to her personal space than others. But nonetheless, she went on with her job, happily performing for all of Inkopolis and to that extent, the cities beyond that had developed television screens. Today was no different, another routine preparation for the ever excited celebration of the life known as Splatfest, the plaza already decked in red and blue, people drawing fantastical creatures on Gamepad screens excitedly. Callie smiled, enjoying her down time.

"Callie, you there?" A voice called from behind her.

Callie turned around, greeted by her co-host in white, Marie. Marie was, in a statement, the "yin" to Callie's "yang". She wore a similar outfit to Callie's, though this one was less proud in a sense of coloration, with black and green instead of Callie's sensational pink and black clothing.

"What's up Marie?" Callie asked, hopping off her chair.

Marie looked over at her co-host cousin, folding her arms. "It's the Octarians. They say that they want our best agents to meet them for a discussion."

"Discussion of what?" Callie asked.

Marie bit her lip. "Not too sure, they were kinda shady on the details. They did mention that it was a peaceful coalition though, nothing too serious."

Callie stood up straight. "Well, that's a good thing, right? Nothing war related!"

Marie nodded. "We have to get moving, Gramps and Octavio will be the heads at the table. You ready?"

Callie nodded bubbily. "Mm-hm! Let's go, we have no time to lose, right?"

Marie pointed at her with a grin. "Right."

The two cousins departed from the balcony overlooking Inkopolis Plaza and made their way through the studio. Descending staircases and running through hallways, the two eventually reached a set of double doors, the doors eloquently decorated with Callie and Marie's names, as well as a collection of artworks of Splatfests since past. The two cousins slipped into the set of doors, briefly took a sign propped on the door from the inside, reached out of the door, and plastered the sign on the door, where it cautioned, "DO NOT DISTURB", in Inkling language and to that extent, "No peeking" written in Inkling finely underneath. Rustling sounds came from the room, from a passerby's viewpoint it sounded like a cacophony of catastrophe. Eventually, the two reemerged from their dressing room, garbed in different outfits altogether. Callie and Marie donned disguises, Callie wearing a pink beanie, dark-shaded sunglasses, and a pink sweater, Marie wearing a light-green cap, a surgeon's mask, and a green sweater.

"Alright, lead the way Ma- I mean, Agent 2!" Callie exclaimed, winking at the end.

"Yeesh, Callie, you don't need to use my code name each time you refer to me." Marie said with a sigh.

"What fun would that be?" Callie smirked, Marie just rolling her eyes.

Marie froze for a second, tapping her chin in thought. "Hm, think we should bring ink weapons?"

Callie looked to the side. "You don't think the Octarians would stoop that low, would you?"

"...I don't know...but just in case," Marie said, retreating into the room, grabbing two Hero Splattershot guns. "Here."

Callie took the gun and holstered it, being sure to keep it out of sight. "Okay...let's go."

Marie simply gestured for Callie to follow, making her way out of the studio building, passing a receptionist's desk, where a cherry tentacled Inkling stood vigilant, wearing a classic clean white shirt and red tie combo, a black vest worn on top. Upon noticing the incognito idols, she smiled and waved.

"Hi you two! Agent work?" The receptionist asked as Callie and Marie made their way outside.

"You know it, Lalai!" Callie exclaimed, waving back.

"Cal, you really shouldn't shout out our private business." Marie reprimanded her. "But yeah, we're meeting with the Octarians at their HQ, Lalai."

Lalai nodded. "Just as well."

"You coming with us? Any and all agents are welcome." Callie offered.

Lalai shook her head, smiling warmly. "No, I have to help my sister with her diner. She let her employees off for the day as a Teuthiatine's Day present. Stay safe, okay?"

"We will. C'mon Marie!" Callie called, already halfway outside the studio building.

Marie perked up, looking over at the door. "I thought I was leading the way!"

Marie quickened her pace to catch up with her cousin, the two waving their goodbyes to Lalai just as they left through the door. Making their way through the city, they walked around the building, into the plaza, walking across a rare awake Judd humming to himself on his pillow pillar, the manhole to Octo Valley beckoning. Callie was more interested in what the cat was doing, however, skipping past the manhole while Marie stood by.

"Judd? You're awake?" Callie said, looking over the cat.

"Mrow? (Yes?)" Judd answered, staring lazily up at the sky as planes flew by.

"You okay? You're not usually so...active." Callie told him, poking the cat.

Judd smiled, rolling over to face them. "Mew, mew. (I'm just waiting for those two to come back from Octo Valley so I can teach them an old song I heard.)"

"'Those two'? Who?" Callie asked, Marie sighing, gazing at the manhole somewhat impatiently. .

"We'll find out when we enter Octo Valley, Callie. Come on, the Octarians aren't going to wait all day." Marie scolded her cousin.

Callie sighed. "Sorry, you're right."

Marie nodded, shifting into a cream-white squid, dropping through the manhole. Callie walked over to the manhole, about to do the same, when she turned back to Judd.

"Hey, quick question, is it okay if we hear the song later too? New material is always nice!" Callie asked with a smile.

"Meow. (Certainly, the meore the mewrrier.)" Judd said, waving Callie off with his pudgy cat paws.

Callie waved as well, transforming quickly into a black-purple squid, following after Marie closely. Each squid slid down the pipe smoothly, eventually reaching Octo Valley in a matter of seconds. Marie entered first, helping Callie out of the manhole, the two passing by Cap'n's shack, which laid dormant and crumbly as usual. The two walked through the floating platforms of Octo Valley for a while, somewhat stumped.

"Marie, did they ever tell us exactly where to go?" Callie asked.

Marie sighed. "Nope. That would've been nice to know. They did say someone would help guide us to the headquarters, but I don't see-"

"Hi Agent 1, hi Agent 2!"

Callie and Marie snapped in the direction of the unexpected voice. Peeking out of a kettle entrance was Sharq, his hat nearly getting blown off by the steam rising from the entrance.

"The meetings' about to start! C'mon!" Sharq invited, ducking back inside the kettle.

The Squid Sisters stared at where their younger companion had just greeted them from. With a glance and a shrug towards each other, the two of them walked over to the kettle, transformed into squids, and sunk through the grates. The two landed in a large briefing room, an extremely long and large ovular table smack dab in the middle, dozens of chairs facing it. For whatever reason, the table had a ginormous shard of ceiling embedded in the middle, though no one seemed to mind much. Seated at the farthest end of the table was DJ Octavio and Cap'n Cuttlefish themselves, speaking to each other. Most of the other seats were taken up by a couple Inklings and Octolings, Sharq among them, sitting by Splin.

Cap'n waved happily to the two. "Ahoy lassies!"

"Hiya Gramps!" Callie responded in turn.

Marie nodded, walking over to the table.

"Splin, Agents 1 and 2 are here!" Sharq told his brother, waving to the disguised pop stars.

"Ah." Splin nodded to the pop stars, who waved back. "Nice to see you two."

"You too, A and B." Marie said with a light grin. "So, what exactly is this meeting about?"

"And more importantly, which team did you guys pick for Splatfest?" Callie asked, sliding in between them.

Marie lifted an eyebrow, also sliding in between them. "Yeah, which side, Red or Blue?"

Splin and Sharq looked at each other, befuddled expressions on their faces,

"Er...does it matter?" Splin asked.

"Yeah." Marie told them simply.

The brothers began thinking back to a while ago.

* * *

The Bate Brothers dodged wave after wave of Flamethrower and Hydro Pump blasts fired by the two stars of the Pokemon Splatfest, each of them desperately trying not to get done in. This went on for a few hours, Maria attempting to body slam the Pokemon, but wasn't very effective at it as they continually dodged. Eventually, all five of them tired of the chase, and walked back to the house, Splin and Sharq slumping down on the Pocket Monsters' backs as they trudged home, Maria glaring at the Pokemon.

* * *

Personally, FireRed was one of my favorites.

Splin looked up, shrugging. "Interesting...at least, if I knew what that was, probably. Still not too sure what these 'Pokemon' are exactly. I'd love to know more about them later."

"Well, whose side did you pick?" The two cousins implored, Splin and Sharq answering immediately.

"Red!" Sharq exclaimed.

"Blue." Splin said with a nod. "We'd figure we'd choose different sides this time around."

"Ooh! Battle of the siblings, eh? You hear that Callie? I get the smart one." Marie said taking Splin by the shoulders, grinning, much to Splin's shock, who lightly smiled despite the quick action.

"Yeah? I get the smiley one!" Callie said, grabbing Sharq by the shoulders, who pointed towards Splin with two fingers.

"Yeah!" Sharq challenged, chuckling a bit.

"Right, I mean, doesn't matter in the end. Vulpix is SOOO much better than Growlithe, but whatever." Marie told Callie with a shrug, Callie scoffing in a mock offended manner. She and Callie walked towards the table, taking a seat across from the brothers. "So Agent B, any specific times they'd say the meeting would start at?"

"I believe Octavio said they'd fill us in once the others get here." Splin informed the two.

"Who?" Callie asked, tilting her head slightly.

The sound of a door being kicked open alerted everyone in the room. Looking to the side, everyone spotted Tai with her Octoling Goggles slung messily around her neck, stumbling under the weight of a few dozen flowers and chocolates addressed to her with rather eloquent and flashy tags. Tai grunted, making her way over to the table, dumping the gifts down.

"Tai? What're you doing with all those Teuthiatine Day merch?" Sharq asked. "Ooh! Did you buy them all for us?"

Tai crossed her arms. "Nope. These were all gifted to me. You're welcome to have some though"

Splin stared at the mountain of sweets, glancing at Tai. "That wouldn't happen to be-"

A candy box from the mountain fell down, the lid popping off from the impact, revealing a cake with, "Ari" written on it in icing, the tiny dot hovering over the "i" stylized as a heart. Callie cooed at the idea of romance while Marie looked much more interested in the amount of gift material stacked on top.

"Now, not saying I don't appreciate the food. Shell, this could probably last us for a few months alone." Tai admitted, looking over the mountain of treats. "But I'm not entirely sure what prompted this. There some Inkling holiday I'm not aware of?"

Splin grit his beak, steeling his nerves in case of a backfire. "It's uh...how do I put this…"

"It's a holiday where you give gifts to those you love!" Sharq exclaimed.

Tai blinked. Suddenly, she snorted. "Ha! That sounds freakin' hilarious Real cheesy, guys."

"Why, what's wrong with that?" Sharq asked, prompting Tai to snicker some more.

"Okay, heh, no offense guys, but your Inkling holidays are kinda stupid. Next you'll be telling me you have a whole dang holiday dedicated to collecting eggs." Tai smirked. "Though I really appreciate the chocolates. Mmm."

Splin shrugged. "Hey, you never know, maybe you'll warm up to him?"

Tai looked over towards Splin with an impassive look, putting her hand on her cheek. "You implying I might have a thing for Ari?"

Splin froze. "No, no. I was just- Sorry."

Tai grinned, rapidly raising and lowering her eyebrows in a suggestive manner. "Hey, it's fine. He's just my age, and I won't lie, sounds like it might be fun. That also means you're off the hook Splin!"

Splin rolled his eyes, while Sharq simply laughed.

"But that's adorable! Someone confessing their love to you, classic!" Callie gushed.

"You would be the one love-struck." Marie said, closing her eyes.

DJ Octavio coughed. "That's pretty nice and all, but uh...I think we should get started. Agent 1, Agent 2, go ahead and take a seat."

"Hmm?" Tai blinked, looking around. "Hey, Octavio, think we're missing a couple of people."

DJ Octavio crossed his tentacles, closing his eyes. "Alright, alright, who else we waiting on?"

"Auss, of course. I wouldn't skip out on my daily wooden target butt whooping if it weren't for her nagging her tentacles off." Tai said, leaning back in her chair and propping her feet on the table.

"Plus, we're waiting on someone as well!" Sharq piped up, his hands on the edge of the table.

Splin nodded, tuning in to the music of his headphones shortly. "She should be here…"

A whooshing noise alerted the room, sounding like a blast of wind.

"Ah." Splin looked up.

The kettle exit from within the HQ rattled, a lime-green squid popping out, turning into a taller Inkling as she did so, Maria standing proudly, walking over to where Splin and Sharq was sitting, taking up a seat next to the brothers, nodding at them.

"'Sup Maria?" Tai greeted her.

Maria smiled lightly. "Hello Tai."

Maria then looked at the gifts strewn about the table messily, Tai's expression slowly diminishing to a frown.

"Ooh, who's the lucky guy?" Maria asked, winking.

Tai rolled her eyes. "Sure, a lucky guy. Let's go with that."

Callie and Marie stared at the woman in surprise. Callie cleared her throat, attempting to greet the woman.

"Ah, sorry, I don't think we've met. Are you an agent?" Callie asked.

Maria shook her head, raising her hand out. "I was, now I'm in retirement. Maria."

"Agent 1!" Callie told her.

"Agent 2." Marie added.

"Nice to meet you." Maria said with a warm smile.

Tai sighed, looking over at the door she had entered the room from impatiently. "Yo, AUSS! You ready yet?!"

"Patience T-41!" Aussie's voice yelled back. "It's not easy trying to wrangle up all these Octotroopers- Stop pushing, hey!"

Aussie burst through the room, followed by Chi. She wasn't looking too pleased, kicking at the ground in frustration.

"What do you MEAN you won't come?!" Aussie demanded, the Octotroopers squabbling. "You don't answer to J3r-ry, you answer to me! Now get in here!"

Chi sighed, placing a hand on Aussie's shoulder. "Auss, it's their vacation. They have four days off to watch- I mean, observe the Inkling Splatfest remember?"

"Vacation?! Since when?" Aussie asked the Octotroopers, whose faces went blank.

DJ Octavio sank in his seat somewhat. "Er, 4U55-13, leave the Octotroopers alone, you called this meeting up, and I have some business to attend to later."

As Octavio tried to calm his Octoling commander, he stowed away a t-shirt of a familiar blue turtle behind his back nervously while Aussie fumed. Aussie humphed, taking deep breaths, pushing her tentacles out of her face before walking over to the table.

"Yes, you're right. Apologies DJ Octavio." Aussie managed, clearing her throat. "I called you all here because we are all in grave danger."

"Danger?!" Callie gasped dramatically.

"A threat to all of us." Aussie began.

"A Global Nemesis?" Someone piped up.

"No, maybe a giant dragon or something, like Grima?" Another voice suggested.

"Maybe it's-"

Okay, everybody out, that's enough references for this chapter.

A collection of groans followed before unnamed characters retreated from an audio range, invisible footsteps sounding off.

"C'mon voice, one more story?" One of the younger voices called out.

Maybe you'll get your chance another day, Morgan.

Morgan sighed before she left the story, rightfully bewildering everyone in the room.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST ON DRAWING THIS OUT SO MUCH?!" Aussie groaned, slamming her fist down on the table, startling everyone.

"Go on Aussie." Maria encouraged the Octoling.

Aussie huffed. "4U55-13, but thank you. Ahem, yes the threat is large, but it isn't too much of an issue."

Aussie reached at her back, pulling out a large sheet of dusty old paper. Laying it over the table, she revealed it to be a Sunken Sea Scroll, somewhat faded, yet still legible. Plastered all over it were various schematics and artworks of machines, weapons, and other unpleasant destruction tools.

Marie's eyes widened. "Are those-"

"Great Octoweapons." Aussie declared in a low voice. "Hundreds of prototypes, abandoned projects, littered everywhere. Some mechanical, other horrific biological experimental mistakes. It's not good. So far, most of them have been dealt with thanks to our benefactors here-"

Aussie gestured to Splin, Sharq, and Maria, who nodded.

"As well as the might of our own army." Aussie added.

Tai and Chi grinned, giving each other a quick fistbump.

"Seasakes." Cap'n muttered, inspecting the schematics. "Some of these look like real trouble. An octopus that blasts acid?"

"That one was taken care of." Octavio said. "But Aussie-"

Aussie raised an eyebrow.

"4U55-13, sorry, has brought to my attention that these things activate in random intervals. We can't predict when each of them drop individually except when they're just activated." Octavio spoke. "We have reason to believe that a few are going to reactivate soon, and we need all the help we can get when they do."

"I see…" Marie frowned. "This wasn't for peace, then."

"No...but they are crucial. If we let them slide, they'll wreck Octo Valley and Inkopolis." Aussie sighed, hand on the table.

"Hm." Splin muttered. "We have some Great Octoweapons on our side, correct? The Skell and the metal Zapfish, right?"

Most of them in the room nodded, reflecting briefly on the memory. Two mechanical monstrosities that have terrorized Octo Valley and beyond in the past. A single-eyed bipedal robot equipped with multiple weapons and a mechanical replica of the Great Zapfish itself were in the Octarian's custody.

"That makes me kinda worried." Callie spoke up. "Won't they activate and attack us?"

"Nah, we've taken precautions for that." Chi informed them.

* * *

The Skell sat down in front of a group of Octolings in lab coats, the giant mechanical Great Zapfish "snoozing" besides it. The Skell was kneeling patiently, awaiting the Octolings. The Octoling scientists stared down at a few clipboards they held.

"Alright...what's your new mission?" One asked in an inquisitive tone.

The Skell's single glowing eye flickered in thought. "TO PROTECT AND SERVE ALL OCTARIANS, PREVENT ENGAGING INKLINGS."

"Alright, good." The Octoling scribbled down on their clipboards using pens. "Now all we need to do is test the weapons."

The Skell's eye began glowing extremely brightly. "Testing weapons? :3"

The Octolings began sweating. "Uh, outside, test the weapons outside-"

"Can do! ACTIVATING THRUSTERS." The Skell declared.

The Skell took off and burst through the roof. The Octolings gawked at the newly formed hole, then began scribbling again.

"Saying 'weapons' triggers the Skell." One of the muttered, the Zapfish yawning after its "nap" was interrupted.

* * *

The conference room shook somewhat from the impact of the crash.

"Lovely." Aussie muttered, holding her head as if she had a headache.

"Uh...I'll go check on them, one minute." Chi told them, running off her seat, out of the room, her chair swiveling in a circle.

"...The program to reuse the Octoweapons is slow progress to say the least." Aussie said.

Sharq shrugged. "I think it's fine! A little shaky, but fine."

"Appreciate the support Agent A." Aussie said with a smile. "Moving on, I have a mission for all of you. These Octoweapons prove a threat to our way of life. Octo Valley is full of minerals and innocent Octarians despite the look of things. We can build and prosper if we try hard enough. However, letting these Octoweapons destroy it would make it impossible for us to do so. Plus, if they make their way to the surface somehow, it could mean unprecedented splat tolls for the Inklings as well."

The room remained silent for a while, soaking in the information and implications. DJ Octavio crossed his arms.

"Inkling agents, we've asked a lot of you before. But now, it is extremely important. We require your assistance more than ever. We are the only ones who can prevent these Great Octoweapons. Can we ask you to lend a tentacle for us again?" Octavio asked.

Sharq hopped up from his chair. "Of course! You can count on me! Right Splin, Maria?"

Splin nodded. "We aren't just going to abandon you. Besides, we don't have much to do besides fortify the house, and progress on that is pretty slow as well. You have my support."

Maria joined in. "I'm not just going to sit by and see you people suffer, I'll help as well."

"Thanks guys. Really appreciate it." Tai smiled.

The three Inklings glanced over at Callie and Marie, waiting for their response. Callie and Marie stared over at Octavio.

"I...guess. But on one condition." Callie began, staring down Octavio.

"Promise that you won't kidnap our Gramps, alright?" The Squid Sisters asked at the same time.

Cap'n Cuttlefish and DJ Octavio blinked, glanced at each other, then burst into raucous laughter, bewildering the cousins.

"What?" Callie asked.

"Hoo, sorry you two!" Cap'n Cuttlefish chuckled good-naturedly. "We just didn't think- Heh..."

"Water under the bridge! Wouldn't dream of it happening again, not going to risk Agent 3 going after me again! The first time was enough!" DJ Octavio said with a laugh.

Maria perked up at the mention of that codename, then settled back down slowly, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.

"Alright then…" Marie murmured.

"We'll do it!" Callie and Marie stated, posing in a bit of a dramatic sense, dazzling and raising the spirits of everyone in the room.

* * *

Ari clutched his chest elsewhere, falling straight to the ground, Sari quickly coming to his aid.

"Cousin, you okay?!" Sari asked.

"...beautiful." Ari muttered.

"Eh?" Sari questioned.

"Someone somewhere is being ultra fabulous right now to make a statement. Absolutely amazing." Ari said, shedding a tear under the shade of his Jungle Hat.

Sari blinked. "You're super weird sometimes."

* * *

DJ Octavio grinned, as did Aussie.

"Thank you Inklings. Let's hope this turns out for the better." Aussie said. "Now with that being said…"

Everyone in the room tensed up.

"You're dismissed." Aussie said simply, walking off.

Everyone stared dumbfounded.

"Uh...that's it?" Tai asked, rubbing her ears. "Seriously?"

"Yes…?" Aussie said somewhat confused.

"No prompting? What about the Octoweapons?" Splin asked.

Aussie rubbed the back of her head. "Err, apologies, the Octoweapons, according to our technicians and scouts aren't going to activate 'too soon', maybe somewhere in the next month or so...give or take."

The room went silent, though distant sounds of distinct Skell sounds could be heard thundering off.

"Um. Okay." Callie said, looking around.

"I guess we'll be going then..?" Marie said leaving her chair.

"A...ffirmative." Aussie nodded slowly.

The room quietly began to disperse, the Inklings leaving through the kettles, DJ Octavio and Cap'n Cuttlefish walking besides each other, and Tai and Aussie leaving for the rec room. Just then, Chi came bounding back into the room.

"Hey guys, the Skell's going AWOL again, can I-" Chi blinked, looking around. "Darn it."

* * *

Callie, Marie, Splin, Sharq, and Maria walked home, leaving Octo Valley through the manhole, stopping in squid form front of Judd. Luckily for them, the plaza activity was mostly just workers setting up for the Splatfest, keeping them away from potentially awkward explanations with other squids. Judd then noticed the five squids, waved slowly, then sat up.

"Meow. (Nice to see you again, how was it?)" Judd asked.

"Sorta long." Callie said.

"(I could tell.)" Judd nodded.

"Hm." Maria hummed. "Splin, Sharq, I think I'll be heading back home. Be good, alright?" Maria said, looking down at the two.

"Alright!" Sharq told her gladly, Splin nodding her off.

Maria nodded, then shifted into a squid, Super Jumping away. The remaining squids looked over to Judd curiously.

"Mew? (What is it?)" Judd asked.

"Somebody owes us a song." Marie said with a smirk.

Judd grinned, getting up on his cat feet. "(Of course. One second...ahem…)"

Everyone began to stare at Judd excitably-

* * *

Whoopsie doodle, that's all the time we have for today folks! Looks like our time management wasn't well spent.

"Aw come on voice!" Sharq protested.

"Welp…" Splin murmured awkwardly.

Don't worry guys, maybe next time.

"Voice…" Splin and Sharq muttered.

"Fine, but Judd's not the only one who has to keep his promise now!" Sharq said.

Don't worry, I plan to.

* * *

AN: Woof, that's a lot of writing. This Splatfest I'm going Team Red because FireRed was the first Pokemon game I owned, and hot dang it was fun, even though I chose Squirtle from the beginning. Eh. Well, hope to see you guys on the battlefield, if eyes lock, you HAVE to accept my challenge, so avoid eye contact like the plague if you don't wish to fight next Friday! :3

Reviewing this quarter's...reviews. Thanks Rynowm and Ultrapyre for reviewing! Rynowm, I really wish I could write in Aqua, but I'd hate to be rude to others for placing their character in without permission unless it was a cameo or reference. Ultrapyre, hooray for virgins, I guess! I mean, I'm pretty much set on being single for life, but hopefully you can find someone you can call yours! (Well, unless you're like me I suppose)

Thanks again for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to play through Fire Emblem 7! See ya!


	13. The Brothers and the Agent's Obstacles

A Chapter for Dread Angel, (and to that extent literally everyone else who reads) hope you enjoy!

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Agent 3's Crash Course in Agent-ing  
**

Splin and Sharq sat on their beds, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere their home had to offer, Maria also basking in the relaxing atmosphere by lounging on her bed. Ann-Gel stood rigid on her trophy pedestal like always, the Tele-Cube sat on the counter deactivated, and two giant reptiles were prowling through the kitchen. All in all, a normal day so far.

"You'd think after a few hours Tele-Cube would be up and running." Splin sighed, hand on his chin. "We really need to get these guys back home."

"...What do you think these Pokémon things eat?" Sharq asked, staring over at the two.

The orange dragon grimaced, nipping at the large blue turtle's tail. Needless to say, he didn't particularly like that. The turtle raised its fist and planted it on top of the dragon's head. The two then began squabbling, the atmosphere becoming rife with a dangerous tensity, until Maria stood up and glared at the two, silencing them. The two grumbled, sitting in the kitchen with less than amused expressions.

"Thanks Maria. The last thing we need with all that's going on is the house burning down." Splin said, leaning back on his bed.

"You're welcome." Maria said with a smile.

"You know, you never told us specifically how you became so skilled." Splin murmured, looking up at the ceiling. "Seems like you've been carrying us through everything."

"She used to be an agent, Splin! I bet they had like huge training facilities and stuff!" Sharq said, Splin nodding in agreement.

Maria bit her lip, leaning on the counter. "Eh...not really. We pretty much just did everything on the field. It was like learning on the job."

"Hmm...speaking of training, the Splatfest is coming up very soon and we're sort of out of practice, wouldn't you agree?" Splin said, glancing at Sharq.

"Yeah, when was the last time we ever really played in a Turf War again?" Sharq wondered aloud.

About a story ago.

"So does that mean we should practice?" Sharq asked.

Splin shrugged. "Well, you know what they say-"

"Practice, huh?" Maria asked, smiling.

"Ooh…" Splin cringed. "Shoot."

"Hang on you two, I'll be right back!" Maria said, dashing outside.

Flinging open the door, Maria dashed across the hills, leaving everyone befuddled. Splin and Sharq glanced at each other, the two Pocket Monsters in the kitchen looking around absentmindedly, growling every once in awhile at each other.

"I feel like we should be worried." Splin gulped.

"I'm sure it'll be fiiiine. Besides, whatever training you'll do, I'll be there every step of the way man!" Sharq said, grabbing his brother by the shoulder. "We'll suffer through it together!"

"That doesn't exactly reassure me." Splin muttered, looking at the door.

Maria then came bounding back inside, a bit of excitement present on her face. "Alright, you two bring a few ink weapons, any one of them is fine! I'll be waiting!"

"Wait, what are you-" Splin began, Maria dashing back outside the house. "Okay then."

Sharq hummed, walking about the house. Walking over to the set of beds, he reached for the dresser in between them, digging through them, searching for something. After a minute, he retrieved a pair of Inkbrushes, coated with ink, out from inside the dresser.

"Catch!" Sharq called out, taking one of the Inkbrushes and tossing the other one.

Splin managed to catch the Inkbrush, the tip pointed towards his chest. He stared at his brother incredulously.

"..." Splin squinted his eyes at Sharq.

"Sorry, sorry, I'll be more careful next time!" Sharq apologized, rubbing the back of his head with a nervous grin. "Let's get going, yeah?"

"Sure…" Splin said, taking the Inkbrush and slinging it over his shoulder.

The Bate brothers began walking out of the house, letting the two beasts in the kitchen sulk in silence, walking outside. The two surveyed the hills curiously, looking for Maria.

"Maria?" Sharq called out.

"Yes?" Her voice called back.

"Where are you?" Sharq asked.

"Down here!" Maria said, her voice sounding closer.

Splin and Sharq looked towards the bottom of the hill. Maria was standing there, smiling.

"What are you two waiting for?" Maria asked, hands on her hips.

Sharq nodded, shifting into squid form, sliding down the hill. Splin followed behind, the two glancing at Maria curiously.

"So, what'd you bring us here for?" Splin asked.

"This." Maria said, stepping aside.

Splin and Sharq gasped. Flat in the grass was an elaborate obstacle course, complete with platforms and ink spread across. A series of raised pillars served as the platforms, violet ink being spewed out by machines like a cannon, the ink blobs rolling cleanly across the platform. Fans were attached to certain platforms, and machines constantly assaulted the platforms in a mechanical rhythm, the entire course complete with a finishing line at the end.

"What do you think?" Maria asked.

"Whoa." Splin stated, impressed yet somewhat scared by the amount of weaponry.

Sharq turned to Maria, his face beaming. "When did you have the time to make this?"

Maria grinned. "Hard work and determination."

* * *

-A "Hard Work and Determination" ago-

Maria walked up to the Tele-Cube, looking around the house as if to check if anyone was there. She tapped the cube, then began to speak.

"Hey there...um…" Maria began, clearing her throat. "Could you...um...build a humongous obstacle course?"

The Tele-Cube flashed a large question mark on all of its screens.

Maria sighed. "I just want Splin and Sharq to get stronger. If there ARE Great Octoweapons out there...I don't want to see them get hurt." Maria told the cube. "Training them might not work...but I'm going to try anyways. Please?"

The cube remained silent. After a while, Maria had assumed it denied her request, so she went back to her bed, frowning. Suddenly, she heard a crash. Spinning around, she saw the cube bursting out of the doors, glowing brightly. She followed the cube outside, watching it work. A bright light shot out of the cube, materializing just what Maria had asked for. Maria's face slowly shifted into a smile. After a few moments, the cube stopped glowing and fell to the ground with a "thunk", Maria picking up the cube, looking it over. She hesitated, checking her surroundings once more, then ran up to the house, went inside, and planted the cube on the counter, worriedly looking it over. She sighed, patting the cube, then went off to her bed.

* * *

"Wow!" Sharq gushed. "Is there anything you can't do?"

Maria smiled, then gestured to the obstacle course. "There are...but let's not get into that right now. Here's how it will work. This is a light representation of what I went through as an agent. The ink doesn't really hurt, either, though I'll ding you points each time you get hit. All you have to do is make it to the finish line."

Splin and Sharq stared across the obstacle course, pondering whether or not it was safe. What caught their eyes was a machine that was smashing into the platforms like a hammer. That and the other gauntlet-style machines such as the machine turret spitting ink or the turrets with laser sights aiming down the lanes leading up to the finish line.

"Uh, Maria? This doesn't look safe at all." Splin admitted.

"Don't worry Splin, I'd thought you'd say that." Maria said sweetly, walking over to the obstacle course.

Maria climbed up to the deadly-looking weaponry, and stood directly underneath one of the hammer machines. Splin and Sharq began freaking out, to say the least, the two reaching out for her, when the hammer slammed down on top of her. Splin and Sharq had no words, each staring at the spot Maria once stood at. The machine lifted, the two too horrified to speak. Shockingly, Maria stood there, completely unscathed, though she had to wipe some of the violet ink off her tentacles. She walked off the platform, onto the grass, and gestured to the obstacle course as if it were a prize on a television show.

"See? Give a try, you won't be disappointed!" Maria said. "Oh, and I'll walk you through, don't worry."

Splin frowned, turning around to Sharq. "I don't know about this Sharq. Should we?"

Sharq blinked, turned to Splin slowly, and opened his mouth. He then rushed down the hill, giddily transforming into a squid, hopping for the obstacle course. Splin sighed, shaking his head, following after him, taking his Inkbrush and brandishing it as he entered the course.

"Alright!" Maria began, running up parallel with where they were on the obstacle course. "All you have to do is make your way through the course. This first part is simple."

The two brothers walked up onto a hexagonal platform. Maria hummed, looking it up and down. Spying a button underneath, Maria pressed it carefully. Two Octarian targets popped out.

"Now...say that these were...evil Octarians. Not the ones we have here." Maria emphasized.

"Okay…?" Splin began, raising his weapon.

Sharq tapped the Octarian target, chuckling at its blank facial expression.

"Now, imagine they're your greatest enemy! Slice them into submission!" Maria ordered, frightening the two.

In a spur of the moment fashion, the two brothers unsheathed their Inkbrushes and began mindlessly swiping at the targets, managing to cover the targets head to tentacle in ink. They began breathing deeply, holding their brushes in front of them as if they expected the targets to bite back at them.

Maria smiled. "Good, good! But if you really want to cause some damage…"

Maria reached behind her back, inexplicably pulling out a Splat Charger. Taking precise aim, she blasted both of the targets, shattering them in an instant, the force quickly scattering the pieces off the platform into the dirt below. The brothers went wide-eyed at this, shivering somewhat at Maria's burst attack.

"You're done here! Move on to the next area." Maria told the two, running ahead.

The two brothers stood there, shocked, but shook their heads and proceeded anyways. Ascending a staircase, the two found themselves standing in front of a series of mechanical cube-shaped platforms with fans attached to the tops. Splin and Sharq started by walking over to one of them.

"How do these work?" Sharq wondered aloud, blowing on the fan. When that didn't work, he removed his cap and began fanning the fan, but to no avail.

"Sharq, this is like that Ancho-V Games map they announced a while ago. You have to attack the fan." Splin explained, raising his Inkbrush.

Splin swung his Inkbrush repeatedly at the fan, the fan rotating quickly, but the platform hardly budged. Splin stopped to catch his breath, eyeing the fan suspiciously.

"That's strange…" Splin said between gasps.

"Here, let me help you with that." Maria offered, tossing up a Splat Bomb behind the fan.

The brothers' eyes went wide again, before the bomb began to shine. The brothers braced themselves, ducking behind the fan, when the bomb finally exploded, speeding the platform along. The two brothers held onto the fan for dear life, the platform they were on making enough laps in its enclosed space to rival a go-kart tournament's number. By the time the platform was finished, the two brothers holding on to the fan and their lunches.

"Are you two okay?!" Maria asked in a serious tone.

"Blurrr…" Sharq murmured, sinking while simultaneously changing into squid form.

"I'm on my way to A...don't worry-" Splin managed, before falling face first onto the top of the platform.

Maria adopted a look of pity and slight melancholiness. "This was a bad idea...we can quit now if you want to, guys."

Splin and Sharq shot up to their feet upon hearing her. Wobbly, but quickly, they shook their heads.

"Nonsense! We're already halfway there, we're not quitting now!" Sharq declared.

"Y-Yeah, don't worry Maria, we're fine, ready when you are." Splin reassured Maria, shaking his head.

Maria frowned, hands on her hips. "Okay...but if one of you hurls or passes out, I'm shutting it down."

Splin blushed. "We're not THAT fragile."

Maria suppressed a smirk. "Well, once you're done shaking that off, go straight ahead."

Maria walked across the dirt below, leaving Splin and Sharq to their own devices. Splin noticed Sharq's eyes tracking nonexistent birds and stars. Splin tapped him on the shoulder, Sharq hardly reacting. Splin sighed, taking his Inkbrush coating the panels ahead of him in blue, then pushed his brother in. Sharq swam in the blue ink for a minute, before he popped out completely revitalized.

"What's next?" Sharq asked, looking at Splin.

"Probably our favorite of the obstacles." Splin said sarcastically, turning Sharq around.

A flat platform strip laid in front of them, hammers slamming up and down the track in a mechanical rhythm. Splin observed the metal hammers closely, noticing an obvious trend.

"This might actually be the easiest ones yet." Splin said with a smirk.

"Huh?!" Sharq asked, looking ahead.

"There's only three hammers, Sharq. Whenever the middle one comes down-"

The middle hammer slammed into the platform, the other two rising up as it did so.

"The other two come up." Splin told him.

"Ah! I get it, I get it." Sharq said, taking out his own Inkbrush.

Splin shook his head. "If we rely on speed alone, we'll just get stomped. Sharq, we're just going to have to time this carefully. As soon as the first two hammers come down, we'll wait, then we'll move forward, understand?"

Sharq nodded. "Okay. Let's go!"

Splin turned to the hammers, carefully making his way over to the first one. As soon as the machine came crashing down, Splin tensed up, Sharq following his lead. The hammer rose up, allowing Splin and Sharq to move ahead, their progress impeded by yet another hammer slamming down in front of them. The two nervously waited for the hammer to rise, which it eventually did, the brothers sliding underneath just as the hammer behind them closed down on the floor beneath. Splin and Sharq anxiously awaited the next hammer, which just began to rise up into the air. Immediately, the two made a break for it, jumping out of the hammers' reach, landing on the other side, breathing heavily.

"You made it!" Maria exclaimed excitably. "Alright, there's only one leg left to go."

The brothers glanced up, gawking at the scene ahead of them. Multiple turrets lined the sides of the walking space in front of them, some with beams tracking for movement, others firing ink sporadically, the entire runway coated in violet.

"Yeah, at this point, I'm not exactly sure this is 100% accurate." Splin muttered, still catching his breath.

"Have to give Maria credit, she's given us quite the workout." Sharq said, smiling despite having to lean on Splin for support.

"Just one last leg and we're done, right?" Splin asked Maria, staring ahead.

"Yes. You're close to the end, you can do it!" Maria shouted supportively. "Dash through the ink like...um. Well, I don't have a simile for you, but you have my support!"

"Sharq, you ready?" Splin asked, raising his Inkbrush.

"You know I am." Sharq said with a smirk.

Both of them deployed their Inkbrushes on the floor, looking straight ahead, nothing but determination etched in their features. They took a step forward…

And made a mad dash for the finish line. They hardly cared much that ink was bouncing off of them as they ran, instead solely focusing on making it to the finish. Reaching the checkered line, the two of them slipped on a puddle of violet, crashing down at the finish line, raising their hands to give Maria a thumbs-up. Maria inhaled sharply through her teeth, running over to the two, gently lifting them up from off the ground.

"I have to admit…" Maria said softly, staring down at the two. "That was really impressive you two."

"Uh...did we pass?" Splin asked, tilting his head.

"You just ran straight through the deadliest part. Look how purple you two look." Maria said, stifling laughter.

Splin and Sharq glanced at each other, smiling.

"It's a good thing I'm not a judge." Maria said, setting the two on the floor. "Because you would've gotten seriously dinged for that. I'm just glad you two are okay…"

Sharq tilted his head. "Why? The ink didn't hurt us."

"You could've overexerted yourselves." Maria pointed out. "But in my book you passed, even if you are technically supposed to be dead right now."

The brothers sighed, Maria smiling down at the two. Just then, Sharq perked up.

"Oh shoot! The Splatfest's gonna start soon!" Sharq exclaimed.

Sharq stood up, giving Maria a quick hug, much to her surprise.

"Thanks Maria! C'mon Splin, time to put that training to use!" Sharq called, running off to the top of the hill.

Splin and Maria couldn't help but grin at Sharq's optimism. Splin looked up at Maria, Maria doing the same except from a taller standpoint.

"Thanks Maria. Even if it was kinda…" Splin paused, searching for the right words to use.

"Stupid?" Maria suggested, ruffling Splin's tentacles and headphones.

"...Sort of." Splin admitted.

The two laughed quietly. Splin then reached his arms out for a hug, then pulled his arms back, staring in the other direction absentmindedly. Maria rolled her eyes, then gave Splin a quick embrace, pushing him away.

"Well, you two better get going, Splatfests don't come around every week." Maria said, beaming at the younger squid.

"Oh, er, right!" Splin said, walking away. "Bye Maria."

Maria waved to Splin and Sharq, who made their way up to the top of the hill. Both transforming into blue squids, they burst up into the sky, parting the clouds as they flew away. Maria smiled at the two squids, then glanced over at the obstacle course sitting at the bottom of the hill.

" _What am I going to do with this?"_ Maria wondered, looking at the course.

The obstacle course shook for a moment, before the entirety of the course crumbled in on itself, starting at the hammer obstacle, the hammers finally smashing in itself.

" _Well, that's convenient!"_ Maria smirked.

As she made her way up back to the top of the hills, Maria couldn't help but remain ecstatic and proud.

* * *

AN: Finally, sorry it took so long Dread. Apologies if these chapters don't have enough "adventure" in them lately, I'm working on a bit of a special set of chapters up next, so I apologize for being a lazy author. :|

Reviews are like boxes of chocolates. Technically you're supposed to know what you're going to get if you buy the box, but I mean, it can still be kinda unexpected if you've never seen the insides of one before.

...This isn't helping. Thanks Ultrapyre for reviewing! I must say, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon is quite the game series, I enjoy the surprising amount of story content in a game about talking mystical animals. I must commend your willpower to not have a video game console now that you're in a university, being a weaker man, I'd probably have gone crazy.

Anyways, thanks for reading like always, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to flaunt the new Fire Emblem Fates keychains!


	14. The Brothers and the Castle of Red (FE)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Painting the Town Red (and Blue) | Omega Chapter**

Splin and Sharq landed in the plaza, shaking off the landing, switching from squids back to regular Inklings, staring up at Inkopolis Tower. The plaza was bustling with activity, Splatfest banners hung everywhere, Inklings walking and talking left and right, the shopkeepers from the Booyah Base staring out, the Squid Sisters performing live on a pair of trucks. The brothers made their way through the plaza, Inkbrushes strapped onto their backs.

"Dude, this place is bustling! Who knew so many people here knew what Pokémon were before us?" Sharq asked, taking in the sights.

"I kinda doubt anyone does, don't see too many people talking Poké _mon_." Splin said, pointing over to a crowd of people.

Most of the plaza was too self-absorbed with watching the Squid Sisters perform, much to their delight. Callie and Marie spied the two in the crowd, and gave them a knowing wink, before twirling around onstage, the crowd bursting into cheer.

"I'm pretty sure most of them are just here to root for their favorite Squid Sister." Splin said, walking towards the tower.

True to Splin's observation, most of the Inklings were busy going fanatic over their favorite pop stars, though a select few were taking advantage of the Splatfest subject by posting Pokémon fanart everywhere. Splin whistled, feeling for his Inkbrush on his back.

"You ready Sharq? I doubt that as soon as we begin, we won't leave until Splatfest is over." Splin said.

"You got me there, I'm going to play until Splatfest ends, and I'll keep playing until the end of the night!" Sharq chimed excitably.

"Let's not get too hasty, we still need to work out things at home, Sharq." Splin told his brother, turning around to face him.

Splin was greeted by a blank spot, no one to be seen. Splin frowned, looking over at the tower. Sharq was already inside, waving at Splin from underneath the Great Zapfish, whose whiskers were sparking and brimming with electricity. Splin sighed, staring up at the Great Zapfish.

"You see what I have to deal with here?" Splin scoffed.

The Great Zapfish could only blink, but it did so in an amused fashion, almost as if to poke fun at the brother. Splin shook his head slowly, then began his trek to the tower, joining his brother, the two leaving the bustling celebrations out in the plaza and entering the tower. Splin and Sharq inspected the tower's insides, entering a room lit with blue and red holographic images rotating around them, the door shutting automatically behind them. Splin reached into his pockets, taking out a sizable Gamepad.

"It's weird how Inkopolis has you carry these things around everywhere. They're handy...but at the same time clunky." Splin commented, fiddling around with the controller.

"They're fine! After all, how else would we be able to jump around in Turf Wars?" Sharq argued.

Splin glanced at Sharq. "Just Super Jump? I don't see why carrying these around to Super Jump matters, Sharq."

Sharq smirked. "What about crashing into things on accident?"

Splin raised his index finger as if to make a counterargument, then lowered it. "...I suppose that's one reason. Be sure to log in as well."

Sharq nodded, reaching into his pockets, also pulling out a Gamepad. The two of them clicked on an icon of the two Pocket Monster stars of the Splatfest, now waiting to be transferred to a match.

"Hey, see you on the other side." Sharq said, patting Splin on the back.

"Definitely." Splin told him. "Don't think I'm going easy on you just because we're brothers."

"Don't worry! I was thinking the exact same thing." Sharq grinned.

The two laughed. Both of them shifted into squid form, waiting...and waiting...and waiting…but nothing happened. Thoroughly bewildered, the two stood up and inspected their surroundings. The red and blue pictures on the wall were frozen. Sharq went over at tapped at the walls.

"That's strange…" Splin muttered, looking down at his Gamepad. "Wha- Connection error?! What?!"

True to Splin's words, the Gamepad screen was entirely black, with the words, "Connection error" displayed in white.

"Gah! The one time we decide to participate in a Splatfest." Splin groaned.

"It could be worse." Sharq tried reassuring him.

Splin sighed. "Yes, it really could be. But that doesn't excuse the connection issues."

"Hmm." Sharq hummed, looking down at his Gamepad.

All of a sudden, two new icons appeared on their Gamepads. A solitary plain icon with only two colors; black and white.

"Hey Splin, I think they fixed the connection!" Sharq exclaimed.

Splin frowned. "Err...Sharq, I doubt it. Maybe it's just another glitch in the system, we should wait until they-"

"Boop!" Sharq said, tapping the icon.

"Wait, Sharq, no!" Splin said, reaching out.

* * *

Outside, the celebrations of the Splatfest were still blooming with festivity. However, that would all soon grind to a halt when Inkopolis Tower exploded. Okay, maybe that was an overstatement, it was more like the Great Zapfish fell off its perch and needed to crawl back up.

"Is everyone okay?" Callie asked the crowd.

The crowd murmured and fidgeted among itself, but other than that the reception was positive, nodding heads in the crowd and cries of triumph heard among them. Callie sighed, looking up at the Zapfish.

"Marie, is the Zapfish going to be alright?" Callie asked her cousin on the other truck.

"The Great Zapfish just fell from the top of Inkopolis Tower." Marie stated.

"Yeah, is it okay?" Callie asked.

Marie frowned, glancing over at the Great Zapfish. Already it had begun coiling around the tower, reasserting itself and relaxing contently.

"I...guess. Although I am worried about the people who could've been inside." Marie told her cousin.

Callie gasped. "Oh no, you're right! If people were inside, then...then..."

"Who knows what could've happened?!" Marie said, staring at the tower.

* * *

In actuality, Splin and Sharq were having a "grand old time" being tossed around, bouncing from one place to and fro. Their faces scrunched up with joy (nausea) at the events! One second they swore they were in Walleye Warehouse, the next they felt them being catapulted above Inkopolis, blinking in and out.

"What- Is- Even- Happening?!" Sharq asked between teleports.

"Sharq- Why'd- You- Press- That?!" Splin asked angrily.

After a while, the two stopped teleporting, and ultimately ended up reappearing in a dark space, with no one else around, the two floating about in the darkness, the two standing out like a pair of lightbulbs.

"Did it stop?" Sharq asked.

Splin sighed, attempting to take a step forward, only finding that there was no ground beneath his feet. Sharq floated around, his cap drifting away from him. Sharq squeaked, "swimming" after his hat, taking it back and placing it snugly on his head. Splin noticed the brothers' Gamepads floating nearby, reaching out for them. Splin took his own, scanning the screen's contents. The Gamepad displayed rapid lines of code running across the screen.

"Oh, great." Splin sighed, letting the Gamepad fall. "We're stuck in some alternate dimension space with no way of escape."

Splin glanced over at Sharq, who was currently fiddling with a Splatendo 3DS game system, (buy the New version today to use amiibos, totally not an ad) to which Splin merely gaped his mouth at.

"Whoa, wait, where'd you get that from?! Voice?!" Splin asked incredulously.

"Nah, I brought it with me." Sharq told him.

"...Why?" Splin asked.

Sharq looked around the dark space they were in. "In case something like this happened so I wouldn't be bored."

Splin bit his lip. "I'll give you that one."

Splin and Sharq simply rotated in space for a while, until Sharq perked up suddenly.

"Splin! Take a look at this." Sharq offered, raising the system.

"It's alright Sharq, I'm not feeling it." Splin said, pushing the system away.

"No, take a look at the top screen!" Sharq said.

Splin sighed, deciding to appease his brother. Shifting into squid form, he began gently swimming over to the system, scanning the screen.

"If." Splin read. "...What about it? You have a new game, that's pretty cool."

Sharq shook his head. "No, this isn't my game, look."

Sharq reached at the back of the system, popping out a game cartridge. Splin stared at it for a while, then glanced at the screen. "If" was still displayed on the screen. Sharq popped the cartridge back in the system, then looked straight at Splin.

"This could be our ticket out of here!" Sharq said.

"Come on Sharq, does that make any sense?" Splin asked.

Sharq smiled, putting his hands on his hips. "Does THIS make any sense?"

Sharq gestured to the entire dark space they were in. Splin sighed, then nodded.

"Alright, fine, try and see if you can get us out of here then." Splin said, boredly sitting by.

"Can do!" Sharq declared, then tapped on the screen of the 3DS.

For a minute, nothing of substance happened. Splin pondered whether or not he was dreaming or insane during that minute, when suddenly the two could feel something grabbing at their feet. A vortex of sorts formed underneath the two, dragging them in.

"Oh no." Splin gasped.

"Aaugh!" Sharq yelped, waving his arms as if to swim away.

The brothers tried in vain to escape the pull, but it was no use, and the two were swallowed up by the vortex.

* * *

For the most part though, the brothers remained alright, though their landing on the other side was less than pleasant. The two shot out of a pond of sorts straight onto grass, the two coughing up water that burned their Inkling respiratory systems.

"Bleegh. Aw, that smarts!" Sharq coughed.

"Gah…" Splin groaned, standing up.

The vortex also spat up the twos' Gamepads and 3DS, the electronic devices landing on the grass next to them. Inkbrushes followed next, the brush heads plopping down on top of the brothers, who blew bristles out of their faces, taking the brushes off their heads.

"Did we finally reach a Turf War?" Sharq asked, picking up his Inkbrush and 3DS, stowing away the latter, doing the same with his Gamepad.

"I don't know what we reached Sharq." Splin said.

The two looked around. All they could see was a pond surrounded by trees. Splin seemed skeptical about the whole ordeal, but nonetheless took his Gamepad and stowed it away, carefully brandishing his Inkbrush.

"Sharq, let's go. Maybe we can find some sort of other vortex that'll spit us back up in the right place." Splin said, turning to Sharq.

"Um, Splin, hold on, you might want to look at this." Sharq offered, taking out his 3DS.

Splin shook his head. "Honestly, I don't want any of what that thing has to offer after the last time."

"But I really think-" Sharq began, also showing the 3DS screens to Splin, red and blue dots on the bottom screen.

"Just drop it Sharq, I'm just going to try to find a way home." Splin said, turning back around, two Inkbrushes pointed at him. "Um."

"Halt, trespasser!"

Two Inklings, one male and one female, both with red tentacles stood in the way of Splin, brandishing Inkbrushes. They wore bandanas across their foreheads, regal armor with baggy shirts and pants underneath. They glared at the brothers.

"Interesting...how could members of the blue kingdom have breached the barrier?" The female pried. "Their choices of armor are rather unintelligent, judging by the lack of plates."

The brothers looked down at their clothes, then stared up at their heads, blue tentacles.

"Whoa, wait, huh?" Sharq stammered.

"'Blue kingdom'?" Splin asked. "Hold on, we don't mean any harm!"

"Yeah, well, I mean, Splin's on the Red team." Sharq said.

"...Not helping, Sharq." Splin sighed, to which Sharq shrugged at.

"Enough playing around. We don't know how you managed to get so close to us, but it doesn't matter. You Nohrian scum always try this, huh?"

"'Nohrian'?!" Splin asked, backing up.

"Oh, so that's what the little dots were!" Sharq said, showing Splin the 3DS again.

Splin glanced at the 3DS screen. Face down on a two dimensional plane, two blue dots stood next to each other, with two other red dots imposing on the blue dots. Splin backed up, the dot on the screen following his movements precisely.

"...And that's three times I screwed up today." Splin groaned, lightly smacking his forehead.

"Hmph. You have five seconds to leave unless you want to taste the end of my blade!" The male red tentacled Inklings shouted.

"But those are Inkbrushes." Sharq pointed out.

Splin froze. The red Inklings looked down at their Inkbrushes, then grit their teeth.

The red tentacled Inklings' glare sharpened. "...Well, we promise to make this as painless as possible."

With that said, the red tentacled Inklings advanced on the two brothers, who froze, raising their Inkbrushes for defense. The red Inklings fought ferociously, swinging and slashing at Splin and Sharq with no mercy, the brothers trying their best to block the strikes with their own Inkbrushes. Splin yelped suddenly, a lucky swipe cutting into his left arm somewhat, the cut glowing red.

"Splin!" Sharq gasped.

Sharq stepped in front of Splin, blocking another attack with his own Inkbrush, then pushed the red Inklings back, the brothers backing up cautiously. The red Inklings stared the brothers down, both sides breathing heavily.

"You two aren't bad." The male red Inkling smirked.

"Please, we mean no harm, let us go!" Splin exclaimed, Sharq nodding.

"Nice try, but we're not so easily fooled!" The other red Inkling shouted. "You Nohrian scum are just going to attack as soon as we let our guard down, we're not falling for your tricks!"

Splin sighed, raising his Inkbrush, ignoring the pain in his left arm, ink dripping somewhat. "I don't want anyone hurt. Please..."

The red Inklings stood firm, their eyes closed. The two then opened their eyes and rushed towards Splin and Sharq, Sharq standing next to Splin, both defensively holding their weapons, terrified that this would be where it would all end. It may have been that way, had it not been for a force defending the two. Out of the blue, another person jumped in between the red Inklings, standing in the middle of the four, blocking them. The red Inklings halted, everyone in awe of the intrusive defender.

"Stand down, Hoshidans!" The person called out to the red Inklings.

"Ah! Lord Corrin, you must assist us, these Nohrians-"

"Are harmless. Why are you attacking peaceful men?" The figure asked.

The brothers took a closer look at the figure. He had white tentacles with a messy yet pleasant look to them, with thin white and black armor covering his entire body, a blue cape wrapped around his side and back. The Inkling didn't wear anything on his feet, strangely enough. The Inkling in white glanced at Splin and Sharq, their eyes narrowing, brown pupils staring straight at them, making them somewhat nervous. However, upon seeing them, the Inkling's gaze softened.

"Stand down." He told the others, smiling. "They're alright."

The Hoshidan Inklings hesitated. Finally, they sheathed their Inkbrushes, bowing respectfully to the white tentacled Inkling.

"Our apologies, Lord Corrin." They said.

"No need to apologize, I know you were just trying to defend Hoshido. You can return to your posts, I'll take it from here." He told the two.

"...Yes sir." The Hoshidans replied, walking away.

The white tentacled Inkling then turned to the two Inklings, smiling warmly. "If anything, I need to apologize to you two."

"...It's alright." Splin said, walking away.

"Wait, where are you going?" Corrin asked. "You never introduced yourselves."

Splin froze, rubbing his arm. Sharq stood in front of Splin, grinning.

"My name's Sharq, and this is my brother, Splin!" Sharq introduced himself.

Splin nodded, rubbing his arm a bit. "Thanks for helping us back there."

"No worries. Although I have to ask, what are you doing out here at this time of night?" He asked.

"It's a long story...and we'd hate to impose on you." Splin said, flinching at the feeling of something grabbing his arm.

Splin turned around, noticing the white tentacled Inkling inspecting his arm.

"You're wounded." He commented. "We need to help you."

"Ah? No, Sharq and I need to leave...we need to find our way back home." Splin said.

Sharq pouted. "Splin, since when did you become so stubborn? C'mon, he has a point, we need to get you fixed up."

Splin bit his lip, glancing at the new Inkling, who nodded. Splin sighed, lowering his shoulders in defeat.

"Alright, I understand." Splin told him.

"Great, let's go. I know a place where we can get you treated." The white tentacled Inkling said, lightly pulling Splin away.

"Hold on, we never got your name!" Sharq pointed out.

The white tentacled Inkling turned back at the two and smiled. "Ah, right. My name is Corrin. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Splin nodded. "Nice to...meet you."

"Hmm...from the looks of you, it doesn't seem like you're from around here. You must have quite a few questions, huh?" Corrin asked, to which Splin and Sharq nodded.

"Honestly, yes. I don't even know where to start." Splin said.

"Don't worry, all will be explained in due time. For the time being, we should retreat to my castle, I know a few people that could help with your injury." Corrin said, walking away.

"You have a castle?" Sharq asked, following him.

"Mm-hm. Follow me." Corrin told the two.

Splin and Sharq followed Corrin around, the three eventually reaching a glowing circle in the grass.

"Here we are." Corrin told them.

"Err..." Splin tilted his head. "What?"

"That's your castle?" Sharq asked. "Smaller and more...glowy than I would've thought."

Corrin chuckled. "Not exactly. This is more of an entranceway."

"...Oh, does it have to do with teleportation at all?" Splin asked.

Corrin looked shocked. "Yes, how'd you-"

"Experience." Splin sighed.

Corrin grinned. "Well then, I hope you're ready."

The spot in the ground began to glow brighter, the light rising. Splin sighed, adjusting his headphones, the three vanishing in the light, the light fading behind them.

* * *

The three found themselves elsewhere when the light faded. Splin and Sharq reopened their eyes, the two instantly marveling at the sight. The three stood in a large elegant castle grounds, trees pink with cherry blossoms surrounding the paths built around multiple buildings, Inklings and, surprisingly to the brothers, Octolings as well, all dressed in battle garb walking around.

"...Is this...the Great Reef in the sky?" Sharq asked, awestruck.

Corrin smiled. "No, but thank you for the compliment. Welcome to my castle."

"I'm having difficulty wrapping my head around this." Splin sighed.

"All in due time, Splin. I believe we should patch you up first." Corrin said, walking out to the middle, where a large tree with a house built on top laid. "I'm sure I have some bandages or vulneraries somewhere..."

"Master Corrin! You're back!" A voice called suddenly.

The three of them turned around, where a pink tentacled Inkling stood, smiling at them. She had clear blue eyes and wore a maid uniform of sorts, a small light blue brooch worn under her neck.

"Felicia! Just the person I needed to see!" Corrin exclaimed, waving her over. "We have an injury that needs to be patched up."

Felicia raised her hands to her mouth in shock. "You're not too hurt, are you Corrin?!"

"No, not me, but he does." Corrin said, pointing to Splin, who waved nervously. "Would you mind taking care of him please?"

"Of course, I live to serve." Felicia said with a light smile, making her way over to Splin.

She reached behind her, taking a staff of sorts. Raising the staff, she pointed it towards Splin, where it shone brightly, Splin's cut fading in the light. Splin stared down at the cut in surprise, looking over his arm to check if he had any side effects.

"Incredible..." Splin murmured. "How...?"

"That was amazing! Thanks for healing my brother!" Sharq smiled.

Felicia beamed. "Well thank you. It's my job to be helpful."

The brothers turned to Corrin with a bit of respect. Corrin smiled lightly.

"Hey, you two must be tuckered out from that. We could shelter you here if you like." Corrin told the two.

"Really? That's awfully generous of you, thanks." Splin said, rubbing the back of his head.

"It's the least I could do." Corrin said, hand by his side. "Though I am curious...I'd like to know a little bit about where you two came from in return, if you don't mind."

"Gotcha!" Sharq exclaimed.

Corrin nodded. "Thanks. Feel free to rest...well, anywhere."

Splin and Sharq looked around the castle grounds, then stared up at Corrin.

"This place works strange, I have to admit." Corrin told the two, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "We can't build houses here. You're free to rest anywhere, though."

"...Okay." Splin said, looking around.

Splin then spotted Sharq resting on grass, taking in the skies of dusk.

"So let's get this straight...Inkopolis Tower malfunctioned, transporting us to some sort of mystical kingdom world of Inklings and Octolings embroiled in some sort of Red and Blue war?" Splin stated.

"Seems like it." Sharq told him.

Splin sighed. "That's one way to spend Splatfest I suppose."

The two brothers stared up at the sky, the two surprisingly drifting into sleep in the grass, waiting for whatever would await them the next day.

* * *

AN: This chapter was originally intended to be a celebration of the initial release of Fates in America running tandem with the Pokemon Red vs. Blue Splatfest, plus a side joke on the connection problems I suffered in doing so. However, I was pretty darn late… There may be a few spoilers from any and all games referenced, so be warned.

Anyways, moving on to reviews like always, thanks Dread Angel and Ultrapyre for reviewing! Glad you liked that chapter Dread Angel, always a pleasure. Ultrapyre, I understand where you're coming from, truth be told most of my ideas are pretty much being derived from inspiration and hype nowadays, but I'll be sure to start generating more ideas as time flies.

Well, thanks again for reading! This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to work on the alpha chapter!


	15. Maria's Pocket Monster Madness (Pkmn)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Painting the Town Red (and Blue) | Alpha Chapter**

Maria breathed in a sigh of relief, taking in the fresh evening hill air. She sat on top of the hill, watching the red and blue fireworks explode, releasing colors that sank to the earth from he sky and such from a distance, enjoying the show as it went on through the evening. After a while, the show stopped, letting the colorful firecrackers to fizzle off into the ground. Assuming the Splatfest was soon to be over, she walked through the grass towards the little wooden house on top, relaxing on her bed the only thing on her mind. Reaching the top, she stood in front of the doors to the house, and opened them casually, entering the house. Closing the doors behind her with a swift yet gentle kick, she yawned, flopping down on the bed. Shortly after letting herself fall on top of the luxurious bedsheets, she heard a rustling noise. Glancing to the left, the two Pocket Monsters from earlier were snooping around the kitchen, digging their heads into the refrigerator and counter cabinets.

"Hey!" Maria shouted, getting the two's attention.

The orange dragon snapped around. "Rrr?"

"Those aren't for you." Maria told them firmly.

Charizard peered down at its maw. Enclosed in his jaw's grip were a few leftover burgers, still wrapped up in paper. The dragon smirked at Maria, the both of them knowing what was about to happen.

"No...!" Maria scolded it.

Without warning, Charizard snapped its jaw shut, swallowed the food, and let out a light belch, heat blowing out of its mouth, as if to taunt Maria.

"Why you…" Maria shook her fist at the dragon.

Charizard began to what Maria assumed was laugh. The Blastoise standing next to him nudged him lightly, glaring at the dragon as if to scold it as well.

"Blast." The turtle muttered, much to the dragon's displeasure.

"Rawr!" Charizard sneered, visibly irritating Blastoise.

Maria couldn't understand what they were saying too well, but by the looks of the two tensing up, they weren't happy with each other. Maria huffed, got off her bed, then stood between the two, pushing them back with her hands and tentacles.

"Hey, break it up!" Maria urged the two, who merely slammed their heads into each others' faces, gristling fiercely.

"Blastoise!" The turtle shouted, spurring on the dragon.

"Rrrrraaa!" The dragon roared.

Maria struggled somewhat on pushing the two apart, then felt them both leave her grip. Charizard swooped high towards the ceiling, grappling Blastoise, the two flying up and out of the house, making an atrociously huge hole in the ceiling of the house. Maria grit her beak, walked out from the kitchen and stared at the ceiling, watching the two battle it out in the skies. Worriedly, she looked around the house. Ann-Gel hopped behind a lamp, hugging the back as if it might protect her, while the Tele-Cube just laid on the counter, dormant. Maria took a quick look at the Tele-Cube, skeptically looking around. Finally, she decided just to tap it, the cube lighting up.

"Okay, what do I do when a dragon and a turtle begin fighting?" She asked quickly.

The cube made a whirring sound. On its screen popped up a picture of a red and white ball being tossed at small picture of the two creatures.

Maria folded her arms. "...I don't follow."

The cube shifted to a loading screen where three dots began flashing in and out. The cube came back with an animation of a box being packed. Maria sighed, looking out at the sky. After a while, a "ding!" snapped her out of her spectating. Laid out on the table next to her were four red and white spheres, black lines splitting the colors into two sides, a white button in the middle.

"Hmm…" Maria stared at the spheres reluctantly, grabbing two of them. "You sure these will work?"

A nodding face appeared on the cube. Maria stared down at the spheres, sighing.

"If you say so." Maria said.

Maria then made her way to the back of the house, running out onto the roof via staircase, Maria shoved open the trapdoor, standing triumphantly on the roof. Charizard was currently ferociously swinging Blastoise around, Blastoise dizzily hanging on. Maria took very careful aim, then tossed the balls towards them. The spheres collided with Charizard, harmlessly bouncing off.

"What?!" Maria shouted in surprise, watching the spheres just fall.

The balls fell and wobbled on the ground for a while. Maria groaned, assuming they were defective, then ran into the house. However, out of her sight, the spheres began to shake for a while, growing in size, until they opened, releasing a burst of light.

Maria made her way through the house, picking up a Splat Charger weapon, then ran outside. Upon leaving the house, she noticed the Pokémon battling it out on the ground, blasts of water and jets of fire being shot from all angles. Maria glared, taking aim at the two.

" _I don't want to splat these animals, but you leave me no choice!"_ Maria though, aiming towards the Pokémon, when something blocked her sight.

"Grrr!"

Maria looked up from her Splat Charger. Standing in front of her was an orange dog of sorts, black stripes and cream colored fur decorating the animal. Behind that animal was yet another animal, an orange fox of sorts with six tails. Both of them yipped and barked at Maria, pushing away her Splat Charger. Maria backed away, staring down at the little animals, unsure of what to do.

"Ah-" Maria frowned, looking over to where the larger Pokémon were.

Scorch marks and grass drenched in dew littered the hills, blasts flying up from farther away. Maria groaned in frustration, almost throwing the Splat Charger down. She stared at the Pokémon for a while, sighing.

"Where did you two come from?" Maria asked softly, trying hard to keep her composure at the tiny animals.

The two four-legged animals dashed off around the house. When they came back, they had the spheres Maria had thrown in their mouths, each nudging the spheres gently.

"Huh…" Maria murmured, picking up the spheres.

She gave one of the spheres an experimental tap. The sphere opened up, red light burst from the sphere, cloaking the dog in red. Maria gasped, watching the red light retreat with the dog back into the sphere. She tapped the sphere again, releasing the red light once more. The dog reappeared in a blink of light, yipping at Maria excitably.

"This is new…" Maria commented, staring down at the spheres, placing them in her pants pockets.

Maria then rushed inside of the house, the two four-legged animals following after her extremely closely, Maria tapping the cube again.

"I need an explanation." Maria told the cube, raising the red and white spheres.

The Tele-Cube laid dormant for a moment, three dots signifying a loading screen popping in and out. Finally, a thin beam of light began assembling something from the counter up, a red device of sorts with the sphere emblemized on the top of it popping into existence. Maria eyed the device carefully, picking it up, then stared at the cube. The cube gave Maria a flat thumbs-up. Maria frowned, then tapped the red device, the device growing into a flat screen. On that screen at the top, the name, "Pokédex" was inscribed with miniature pictures of the two Pokémon standing next to her underneath. Maria bit her lip, tapping on the picture of the fox.

"'Vulpix, the Fox Pokémon.' So that's what you are?" Maria asked the little fox.

Despite the several language barriers between the species, the fox nodded happily at Maria. Maria smiled at the fox, then turned to the dog, looking down at the Pokédex screen. She tapped on the dog.

"'Growlithe, the Puppy Pokémon.' Pokémon, hm?" Maria murmured. "Informative. But I still don't have an inkling-"

A rimshot went off in the background, bewildering the little Pokémon. In the corner, Ann-Gel could be heard groaning, the alarm clock on the brothers' dresser making a low beep similar to a sigh.

Maria glanced to the sky, confused, then shook her head. "Of what I should do here. I know that these...capsules can contain these...Pokémon, but I still don't quite understand how to use them."

The Tele-Cube's screen shifted once more. A scene of two Pokémon battling was shown, with one Pokémon drastically weakened by a blow from the other one. Once the Pokémon was weakened, one of the red and white spheres was tossed at it, a black arrow and the word "Pokéball" labeling it in a freeze frame, encapsulated the Pokémon, the ball shaking once it hit the ground. After it shook, an audible clicking noise was heard.

"Wait, I have to send these poor things after those behemoths?!" Maria gasped, glancing at the two small Pokémon by her feet.

The Vulpix tugged on Maria's shorts, glancing out the door with a hint of impatience. Maria looked out the windows of the house, blasts of fire and water still running rampant among the hills. The Growlithe stared at Maria, a determined look on its face saying all Maria needed to hear.

Maria could only sigh. "...Are you sure?"

The two little Pokémon yipped their approval. Maria nodded solemnly, taking the Pokédex and stowing it away in her pockets. Looking at the kitchen countertops, she took the remaining Pokéballs. She then began to leave the house, the little Pokémon following after her. As soon as she touched the earth outside, she looked towards Inkopolis, somewhat worriedly. The light of day was already beginning to vanish.

" _...Splin and Sharq haven't gotten back yet. They're usually home by now…"_ Maria thought to herself, staring across towards Inkopolis.

Maria then felt more tugging, the Pokémon impatiently and ineffectively dragging her towards the spot where the battle was raging on. Maria sighed, nodding, glancing at Inkopolis one more time before she began sprinting towards the area of conflict. She eventually caught sight of the two, Blastoise finally back on solid ground attacking Charizard with torrents of water, Charizard retaliating by flying around, firing at Blastoise with, redundantly, jets of fire.

Maria took out the Pokédex, then looked through, miniature sprites of the Pokémon coming up onscreen. Maria tapped each one, curiously reading through.

"'Moves'?" Maria muttered, scrolling through. "'Hydro Pump'...'Flamethrower'..."

Maria stared up from the screen at the Pokémon. Observing their attacks, she realized that the "moves" described were the Pokémon's attacks. She looked at the Vulpix and Growlithe by her feet.

"...I can only imagine what you two can do." Maria muttered, her little companions barking and yipping.

Maria then turned away from them to watch the fight. She noticed it becoming a little too close for comfort, as what she assumed to be a Hydro Pump attack was launched their way. Quickly, Maria switched into squid form and shoved the two small Pokémon and herself out of harm's way. The Growlithe backed up in shock from Maria's sudden transformation, eyeing her curiously, Vulpix doing the same.

"Guess we all aren't exactly 'normal', huh?" Maria giggled.

Vulpix lightly pawed Maria, Maria closing her eyes as to keep out the paws from poking them, switching back to Inkling form, lightly pushing Vulpix away, whom began whimpering somewhat.

"I'm fine." Maria reassured the Vulpix. "The question is...how are we going to pacify these two?"

Maria, Vulpix, and Growlithe gawked at the titantic Pokémon, who seemed to be at a standstill. Charizard growled, rushing straight towards Blastoise, which Blastoise responded with a quick burst of water. Leaning towards the left, Charizard's wing was somewhat grazed, the dragon grimacing at the attack, but charged forward regardless, picking up Blastoise again and taking off, flying towards Inkopolis, the two comically battling in midair, Maria watching the two go. Maria sighed, then looked down at the two small furry friends she had by her side, the two staring at Maria, curious as to what to do now.

"Hmm…" Maria hummed, a lightbulb flashing above her head.

She reached into her shorts pockets, taking two Pokéballs, then pointed them at the two.

"Erm...go inside?" Maria asked the two.

Despite her awkward wording, the two yipped happily. Maria tapped the buttons on the spheres, the spheres enlargening, red lights bursting out from the centers, enveloping the two, then retreated back into the Pokéballs, taking the two with them. Maria stowed them away in her pants, then shifted into squid form, Super Jumping off towards Inkopolis.

" _Looks like I'll have to stop this. I can't let anyone get hurt. ...Huh, sorta reminds me of my agent days."_ Maria thought as she traveled through the sky.

Maria chased after the two behemoths, all of them heading towards Inkopolis.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ann-Gel sat at home on her pedestal. She hummed to herself, looking absentmindedly in all directions. After a while, she sighed, falling back.

"This was much more fun when I had someone to talk to." She said, playing with her plastic tentacles.

The alarm clock made a chime.

"Someone who isn't a sentient household object." Ann-Gel groaned.

The clock made mocking beeps imitating Ann-Gel's tone of voice, the two stubbornly "huffing".

* * *

AN: Okay, the first parts of the very late Splatfest chapters are finished! I finally got off my lazy butt and decided to actually post two chapters in the timespan of two days! Hooray, I put off important work to update a story on the Internet!

I mean, that's gotta count for something, but in the meantime, let's count reviews, shall we? Thanks Ultrapyre and Dread Angel for reviewing! Apologies Ultrapyre, hopefully next time I can write a reference you'll get, but in the meantime, here's more dimension breaking stuff. Dread Angel, I highly recommend Fire Emblem Fates, but I'd also recommend playing other games in the series as well, maybe Awakening or something, but it's your call!

Thanks for reading, like always, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, time to check on my ancient-as-time dog!


	16. Accidental Ari Attack (FE Fates)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others  
**

 **Ari the Handsome Hero and Tai the Lovely Rogue**

Ari, the greatest Inkling to grace this side of the planet, hummed to himself, walking along the streets of Inkopolis, a .96 Gal ink gun strapped to his back. Ari, if you've been living under a rock for the past couple of centuries, was a strikingly handsome Inkling teenager with glistening orange tentacles, a Jungle Hat, Varsity Jacket, and pair of Yellow Seahorses was his attire. He was the pinnacle of Inkling kind, everyone wanted to be his friend, he would get autographs each and everyday by adoring fans who just always wanted him in their lives.

* * *

"Ari?"

* * *

Alas, this strapping young Inkling lad had a curse, a terrible family heritage that would haunt his days and provide a solid and revealing backstory to readers, driving them to tears.

* * *

"...Ari~?"

* * *

S-Still, he persevered, leading the charge in Turf Wars and beyond, with the help of his squadron-

* * *

"Ari!"

"Gah!" Ari cried out, hands on his head.

"You've been daydreaming, haven't you?" Sari asked his cousin.

In reality, Ari and Sari were sitting back on a railing in Inkopolis Plaza's second-floor, next to the Squid Sisters' studio.

"...No." Ari said, leaning back on a railing, Sari rolling her eyes.

"Alright, well, then you have heard the news, right?" Sari asked, Ari shaking his head.

"Of course, dear Sari. Not that it matters much, we're participating in a Squad Battle today, with our two other lovely members, Rit and Bas, of course." Ari said with a smirk.

The two turned to the side, where two other Inklings stood. Two female Inklings with the same orange tentacle colors and tannish skin tones Ari and Sari had stood next to them. The two of them wore headbands that spelled "A-R-I", both wearing Basic Tees, with pairs of Cherry Kicks on their feet. One had magenta irises and the other one had blue eyes, both staring at Ari curiously.

"Leader, no disrespect intended, but you realize that the Inkopolis Tower has been shut down, right?" The one with magenta eyes said.

"Wait, really?! Rit, since when?" Ari asked.

The three females simultaneously facepalmed in their minds.

"The Squid Sister did a whole article about it, like, just now." Bas said, smiling sheepishly.

"Err? Really?" Ari asked.

"Yes, really."

Everyone turned around. The Squid Sisters were sitting in their studio, waving at the four, pointing up. The squad looked up, finding the giant television screen, where a broadcast had just finished, a message with the Inkopolis Tower posted on it in picture form stated in Inkling, "Tower Still Shut Down From Splatfest Mishap!". The other members of the squadron crossed their arms, making Ari somewhat nervous.

"Eh...heh, heh." Ari chuckled.

"Why'd you call us here then?" Rit asked impatiently.

"...Err...fresh air?" Ari offered.

Sari closed her eyes, sighing. "Ari, we love you, but judging by your blank stare for the past hour, I think you need to be left alone to sort out whatever it is you were doing. Come on girls, he needs his space."

The three female Inklings began to walk off, surprising Ari.

Ari reached out for the three. "W-Wait, what am I going to do for the rest of the day?"

Sari turned back, smiling. "You're the Great Ari, you can think of something, get those creative juices flowing!"

The three Inkling females waved, making their way through the plaza. Ari sighed, looking out to the plaza.

"Well that's perfect, what am I to do today with my faithful companions off?" Ari wondered aloud.

Ari sighed, slumping back on the floor. Looking up at the Inkopolis Tower, he noticed the Great Zapfish, coiled around the tower as always. Glancing back down at Inkopolis Plaza, he noticed most of the Inklings sitting around were bored, posting to Miiverse about how unfortunate the tower's closing was, among requests from squids wanting more attention to take pictures with other random Inklings. Ari raised an eyebrow at the sight, then an imaginary Zapfish flickered over his head. Before falling off its perch and crashing, that is.

"Eureka! That's my ticket to glory!" Ari shouted, sending Inklings reeling to the ground into squid form, startled from the sudden outburst, glaring up at the egomaniac.

" _If I find a way to fix the tower, I'll get fame and I might even be able to...I dunno, not be bored? Ah, I'll figure it out later, let's go!"_ Ari thought to himself, then leaped off the top of the balcony.

Landing less than gracefully, i.e. tripping as he hit the ground, Ari shook it off quickly and dashed straight into the tower. Ari stopped as the doors closed behind him, then inspected the inside curiously.

"No one seems to be here. Intriguing…" Ari said aloud.

Hand on his chin, Ari frowned. He walked over to the walls, the glowing images frozen smack dab in place. Ari gave them experimental taps, the lights only flickering and buzzing occasionally.

"Ugh." Ari scoffed. _"Can't anyone here send a maintenance crew? If I knew how to work with this, I'd fix it right away for all to use. Maybe if I knew someone who had experience with mechanical parts…"_

Ari stood inside, pondering what he should do. He stood there for a while, racking his brain for anyone who might have an inkling (sue me) of what to do, just standing there. Maybe someone who's had to deal with mechanics, people who might be know how mechanics work, and have been developing them for quite a while, hint hint.

Ari sighed, walking out. "I'm at a loss…"

As Ari walked out from the tower, he was smacked in the face by a sheet of paper. Ari brushed the flyer out of his face, the octopus picture floating away in the wind. An Inkling wrapped in a parka and scarf chased after it, scowling to herself, pencil gripped in one hand as she chased after the picture.

"Anything, anyone can help…" Ari sighed.

"Hey, did you hear the rumors?" An Inkling asked his Inkling friend casually. "Apparently those octopi things from long ago are still around somewhere, crafting machines to splat us with."

"That would explain the robot attacks." The Inkling he addressed muttered.

"Come on Ari…" Ari sighed to himself.

Hey, Ari, have you checked-

"Aha! Octo Valley, of course!" Ari shouted, pointing heroically towards the manhole. "Maybe Tai has some advice, a ravishing rogue such as she must've encountered some form of genius before!"

Welp, at least we can move the plot along.

Ari dashed towards the manhole, past unaware bystanders, and shifted into a squid, flinging himself through the grates, sliding through, popping back up in Octo Valley. The scenery was serene, Cap'n Cuttlefish was snoozing on his couch, and Ari had his mind set, making his way through collections of platforms to reach the Octarian headquarters. He bit his lip, looking from kettle to kettle. Each one looked the same. Ari sighed, then, on a whim, decided to check the one closest to his left. Walking along, he jumped on top of the kettle, and transformed into a squid. He popped back out with a face colored purple, Ari wiping the ink off irritably.

"It's not my fault you don't label your rooms!" Ari called back to the offending kettle dweller, shaking his fist in the air, waving around his .96 Gal in the air.

A few lines of ink were blasted out of the kettle, startling and sending Ari running. Ari sprinted, taking a second to look back, that only succeeding in having him fall into yet another kettle on accident. Ari screamed as he was sent through the metal vents, in a completely manly way mind you, before falling face first on a steel floor. Ari groaned, looking up, his vision somewhat blurry. He spied a figure, who was slowly growing in detail. He stared up at Tai, blinking to make sure he was seeing her correctly. Undone goggles around her neck? Check. She didn't look too particularly pleased with Ari, however.

"Aha! Perfect, Tai, just the woman I've been search-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." Tai said, waggling her index finger in front of his face, sighing. "I think it's really flattering, you going all this way and all. But I really doubt-"

"Please, your mechanical skills are nothing to scoff at!" Ari declared, getting to his feet.

Tai blinked. "Mechanical skills? Alright hang on, tell me what's going on."

Ari cleared his throat and dusted himself off. "Yes, er, since you seem to have a good grasp of mechanics with your terrifying machines of death, I have come all this way to seek you out!"

"...What makes you think I know exactly how Great Octoweapons work?" Tai asked.

"Huh? Well, the way you dismantled it of course! You must be well versed in technology to know how to tear apart the octopus with such ease!" Ari explained.

Tai put a hand on her hips. "Dude, anyone could break an Octoweapon. You were there, all we did was shoot it."

"So…?" Ari tilted his head.

"Well, what do you need help with that requires a mechanic anyways?" Tai asked.

"Inkopolis Tower has been shut down, so I thought you might be able to assist me. I-If you're free, that is." Ari said, his hands nervously fiddling behind his back.

Tai scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Sorry dude, whatever you Inklings do up there is your business, if it isn't something that concerns both our races, no dice."

Ari's mouth gaped open. "W-Wait! Please, I'll do anything!"

Tai chuckled. "Ain't that a cliché."

Ari began glancing around nervously, looking around the headquarters. Ari mentally groaned, then reached for Tai's Octoling Armor, unbuckling it and taking off, leaving Tai in her shirt and shorts. Tai whirled around, irritation clear in her irises. Tai then began chasing after him, Ari leaping up and out the headquarters quickly, hopping away towards Inkopolis. He had just about reached the manhole leading out of Octo Valley when Tai grabbed him by the tentacles, dragging him back. Tai pulled Ari up to her face, glaring directly at him.

"Give it back." She told him, gesturing to one of his tentacles.

Ari looked back. In one of his suckers, he carried Tai's armor. Ari turned his squid face back to Tai. He quickly pecked her on the nose, startling her, then hopped away, dangling the armor enticingly.. Tai growled, wiping her nose in embarrassment, then proceeded to reiterate her previous plan by following after to presumably beat the living shell out of Ari. She switched into octopus form then began hopping after him, the two sliding through the manhole out towards Inkopolis. Ari left the caverns first, bursting out of the manhole. Ari switched back to Inkling form, looking around quickly. Taking Tai's armor, he held it over the manhole. Tai hopped up into the air through the grates, only to be trapped inside her own metallic protective gear. Tai squirmed around in her armor, bouncing off the inside.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Ari exclaimed, running off to the tower, getting odd looks from Inklings still in the plaza.

Ari entered the tower quickly, making sure the automatic doors clamped down behind him, then tossed the armor on the floor. The armor shook, then Tai reformed into an Octoling, fitting her appendages through the armor's holes. She spun around towards Ari, then figuratively rolled up her sleeves, fury glistening in her eyes.

"You have a lot of nerve doing that!" Tai shouted, sending Ari backing up against a wall.

"H-Hold on! I didn't mean any harm!" Ari pleaded, Tai hardly fazed.

She walked up to Ari, quickly jabbing towards him. Ari flinched, covering his face, until he heard the sound of crackling. Ari glanced to his left, where he noticed Tai's fist embedded in the wall. Ari stared back at Tai, who was glaring at him, though with less intensity.

"Ari." Tai said softly.

Ari blinked. Suddenly, Tai was staring at him with a half-lidded expression, warmly enticing him. Ari found himself lost in her eyes.

"May I ask you something?" She asked.

Ari began nodding rapidly. Tai immediately switched back to killing mode and slugged Ari in the stomach...region, causing his eyes to pop out somewhat, Ari crumpling to the floor weakly.

"What the SHELL was that?!" Tai demanded. "First you take my clothes, then you kiss me on the nose, then you freakin' kidnap me in my own armor?! I should skin you for that, you little-"

Ari cringed, then froze, looking behind Tai. Tai ceased her anger for a moment, following his gaze. The two could feel wind whipping past them. They noticed a small crack of sorts in the middle of the room. Tai's eyes narrowed. The crack burst open, a vortex beginning to suck the two into itself. Tai's eyes widened, Ari gasping for breath, the two attempting to move back, when they were inevitably taken by the vortex, swallowed up.

* * *

"Gee Corrin, your castle is pretty cool. You even have places you can buy swords from?" Sharq asked, walking along a stone path.

"Pretty much. Except, for um...relativity reasons, they're all Inkbrushes." Corrin chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Intriguing…" Splin muttered, walking alongside the others.

Splin perked up, looking to the side, adjusting his headphones somewhat. He noticed a glint in a nearby pond, pebbles blocking somewhat of the light.

"Corrin?" Splin asked.

Corrin tilted his head towards Splin curiously.

"What's that pond for? Decoration?" Splin asked, Corrin smiling.

"That's my Coral Spring. We harvest coral from it each evening to use for resources." Corrin explained.

"It looks pretty." Sharq commented.

The other two nodded in agreement, moving on, when multiple bubbles popping on the surface of the spring caught their eyes.

"Hmm?" Corrin murmured.

"Do you have fish living in the spring?" Splin asked.

"No...maybe someone fell inside?" Corrin wondered aloud.

When Corrin finished, Tai and Ari burst out from the spring, coughing up water, the two wiping themselves off quickly.

"Tai? Ari?" Splin asked, Ari gasping for air.

"Ah! R-Rival, fancy seeing you- GACK!" Ari choked, Tai grabbing him by the throat.

"If that water didn't splat you, I sure as shell will!" Tai shouted.

Splin and Sharq's eyes widened at the sight of one of their friends murdering another one. Swiftly, the two pried Tai off Ari, who was clawing towards the poor squid, shouting profanities.

"...This isn't a normal thing, is it?" Corrin asked.

"The strangling, no, but the teleportation…" Splin sighed, pulling Tai away as best as he could.

"Are you alright Ari?" Sharq asked, helping the orange Inkling up.

Ari was tearing up. "Why do women hate me so?!"

Sharq raised an index finger to his chin. "Maybe because you keep making moves at the wrong times?"

"Not helping rival!" Ari shouted.

"Tai, why are you so angry?" Splin said, struggling with all his willpower to keep Tai from destroying Ari.

"That flirt- He's such a- Little- Ugh!" Tai sputtered, reaching out for Ari.

Corrin bit his lip, looking towards the sky. "This is certainly a turn of events...first Hoshido...now this?"

And that's only the beginning.

Corrin's eyes widened slightly. "Huh?"

Oops, wrong person.

"Wait, who-" Corrin began to ask.

"Let go of me Splin!" Tai shouted in the background.

Corrin sighed, turning around. He cleared his throat, getting the attention of the other cephalopods.

"Err...welcome to my castle, Miss and Mister…?" Corrin trailed off.

"Tai Inaba." Tai stated with a huff.

"Ari Jabin, at your s-service." Ari stuttered, bowing.

Corrin grinned. "My name is Corrin, pleased to meet you. I take it you're friends of Splin and Sharq?"

Tai and Ari turned to the brothers, who shrugged with a smile.

"Yeah. So...what crazy dimension stuff have we gotten ourselves into now?" Tai asked.

Corrin waved her off. "I'll explain in the morning. For now, feel free to relax anywhere."

Corrin began walking away, waving to the four cephalopods. The four waved back, and returned to their previous conflict.

Ari gulped, backing away from the Octoling with an apologetic face. Splin and Sharq nodded at each other, both standing guard in front of Ari.

"Tai, I know you might be pretty inked off right now, but please, we need to have everyone alive for tomorrow." Splin told her.

Tai snorted. "Fine, fine! Where do we sleep then?"

Sharq began lounging on the grass. Splin nodded, as to affirm the others that this was indeed their bedding arrangements. Splin pat the ground next to him as he laid down, staring up at the stars. Ari shifted into a squid, shaking somewhat, Tai making a face as she laid across from him, turning her back to Ari. The four rested on the grass for a while.

"Gah…" Ari sighed, burying his face in the grass. "I screwed up, rivals, now I'm stuck with a woman who hates me."

"Calm down Ari, I'm sure we can clear it all up in the morning." Splin said.

"Yeah! Deep down, Tai's a softy!" Sharq reassured him.

Tai cursed under her breath. Sharq began yawning, then waved to the others, adjusting his cap so that the brim covered his eyes, beginning to snooze off. Ari shifted into Inkling form, crossing his arms. He turned to his right, where Splin was already lying with his eyes closed, his arms crossed behind his head as he slept. Ari stared up at the sky, drifting off into unconsciousness with an unease present on his mind.

* * *

Unbeknownst to the sleeping squids and octopus, Corrin watched the four out a window from up on his quarters, frowning. He closed the blinds, sighing.

" _...Those four seem so content with themselves...like one normal family."_ Corrin thought to himself in silence.

Corrin closed his eyes, sighing. He made his way over to a plush bed, sinking underneath the covers, following the four in their sleep-based adventures.

* * *

AN: Apologies for the small delay, lot of stuff has going down recently. Firstly, the most unimportant one, my 3DS screens have been on the fritz, one looks like a flipping Virtual Boy screen. Secondly, all these assignments I've been receiving makes it kinda difficult to stick to my chapter plans, as unfortunate as that is. Thirdly...I need to learn how to cook food better, that doesn't really have to do with anything. Unless I end up poisoning myself...which means even less updates, so bear with me on that I suppose. :P

Enough of my rambling, let's take a look at the reviews. Thanks Dread Angel and Ultrapyre for reviewing! Apologies Dread Angel, we need to make some sort of Splatfest coalition or something, we gotta win one. Ultrapyre, uh...genocide is...well. I mean, that's not...bad, I guess, because those Pokémon you're killing are...wild? Eh…

Aside from that mildly disturbing note, thanks for reading once more, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to budget for a New 3DS XL. I'll catch you later!


	17. Fated Path for the Chosen Few (FE Fates)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **A Tale of Two Colors | Omega Version**

Splin and Sharq, as well as a morose Tai and anxious Ari, sat down on a mat, Corrin sitting across from them. The three sat inside Corrin's private quarters, Corrin patiently staring at the four.

"So let me get this straight, you live in a world of advanced technology where you can battle each day for fun or for glory?" Corrin asked.

Splin nodded. "More or less."

Corrin glanced elsewhere. "Reminds me of a certain tournament...nevertheless, you two definitely aren't from this world, are you?"

"Nope! Not at all." Sharq stated, Corrin frowning.

"That seems so strange...I bet it's a blast though, playing with your family and your friends anytime you wish…" Corrin sighed.

Splin and Sharq frowned. "I...suppose."

Corrin froze. "Oh, I'm so sorry, is that a touchy subject?"

Splin rubbed the back of his neck. "No, it's fine...our parents just...how do I say this?"

Sharq cleared his throat. "They straight up went missing one day, we haven't seen them since…"

Corrin glanced down at the floor. "I understand how you feel. Both my mother and father were taken as a result of this war between two kingdoms."

The five sat in a pitiful silence, Tai and Ari looking back and forth between the three previously orphaned characters. Ari began to speak up, until Tai cut him off.

"Sorry to break up the mourning, but we still need to get back home." Tai stated, crossing her arms. "As soon as possible too, I don't want to have to be stuck with Casanova over here."

Ari stared down at the floor in shame. Corrin perked up, clearing his throat.

"Right, apologies. Got a little morose there. I can't say I know a direct way home, but I do have an idea." Corrin said, clearing the tension.

Sharq perked up. "Really? What is it?"

Corrin looked out the window of his quarters, staring off into the distance. "Off in the mountains, there is a place called the Kraken's Gate, made by the First Krakens."

"Krakens?" Splin questioned.

Corrin nodded. "Yes, I suppose I had forgotten to tell you about that, but that's for another time. If I remember correctly, it has the power to travel to other worlds."

"Really? Interesting…" Splin murmured.

Tai stood up. "Well then, what are we waiting for? Just lead the way and we'll follow."

Corrin sighed. "As easy as that may sound, the journey is somewhat perilous. Bandits, possible Nohrian troops and other perils block the way. Of course, as soon as we reach the Kraken's Gate, we should be safe, but the way there isn't going to be a walk in the park."

Tai smirked. "Heh, it will be for me." She reached at her back, grasping for something, then frowned. "...As soon as I find a weapon I can use."

Ari stood up as well, gripping his .96 Gal, raising it towards the sky. "Don't you worry. I'll be sure to leave a lasting impression on those scoundrels!"

Tai scoffed, turning away. Ari faltered somewhat, glancing at her sadly.

Corrin smiled at the two. "If you lived in this realm, I would've made sure to recruit you two right away. Splin, Sharq, what about you two?"

Splin and Sharq nodded, standing up. The two unsheathed their Inkbrushes from their backs, then presented the brushes to Corrin, whom nodded, standing up with the other four.

"Well then, shall we get moving?" Corrin suggested, the other four agreeing silently.

Corrin walked out of his quarters out an open door, the four following him. Greeted by the light of day, the five Inklings climbed down onto the ground below via ladder, Corrin stepping onto the warm grass first. Corrin gestured for the four to follow him, the party moving towards the inside of the castle courtyard, where Felicia stood sleepily.

"Good morning Felicia!" Corrin greeted her, the Inkling maid jolting out of her tired state.

"Hm?! A-Ah, Lord Corrin! S-Sorry, I'm just a little tired this morning!" Felicia stuttered, Corrin waving her off.

"It's quite alright Felicia. I was just wondering if you'd help accompany us to the Kraken's Gate." Corrin told her, Felicia jolting once more.

"The Kraken's Gate? Lord Corrin, you realize-"

"Yes Felicia, I'm aware of the danger, but that might be the only way to get them," Corrin pointed a thumb behind him towards the Inklings and Octoling standing patiently, "Home."

Felicia bit her lip, worriedly glancing around. "Oh...okay, but we're going to need to stock up on some supplies."

Tai waved at her. "Hey, if you don't mind, could you grab a weapon for me?"

Felicia bowed respectfully. "Of course! Wait here!"

Felicia dashed off into the courtyard, following a path into a building, the five protagonists watching her go. As soon as she entered the building, Tai wandered off towards a tree nearby and took a seat in the shade, Corrin walking away and sitting close by. Ari sighed, dejectedly letting his arms fall to his sides. Sharq noticed this, eyeing the older Inkling curiously.

"What's wrong Ari?" Sharq asked, tilting his head.

Ari glanced over at Tai, who simply turned her face. "Tai's still upset with me. Cod, I feel like such a fool, I can't even bring myself to flirt today!"

Splin crossed his arms. "Is that a bad thing?"

Sharq lightly elbowed Splin in the chest, to which he responded with an offended huff.

"It's alright Ari. She'll lighten up soon!" Sharq reassured him.

"No I won't!" Tai called, Sharq turning at her with a light smile.

"You can't stay mad forever!" Sharq called, only getting Tai to turn her head away as far as her neck would allow it.

Ari managed a miniscule grin. "Thanks for trying r- Sharq."

Sharq beamed. "Anytime!"

Splin stood by, still staring at the building Felicia had entered. "Hmm…"

A crash could be heard. Everyone snapped towards the building. Felicia came stumbling out, attempting to balance a collection of two Inkbrushes, one decorated with gold and extra bristles, a green, round gem of sorts, and a lot of gray bottles at the top. Shouts of frustration came from the building she left.

"Sorry! I'll be sure to clean up later!" Felicia called, making her way over to Corrin.

Corrin stood up and walked over to Felicia. "You...uh, need a hand there?"

Felicia gasped, nodding solemnly. Corrin reached the two of his hands out, barely catching the green gem and the bunch of bottles.

"That's a lot of vulneraries…" Corrin muttered.

"Err...you can never be too careful?" Felicia said, smiling sheepishly. "Miss Tai, your Inkbrush!"

Tai grinned, walking over to Felicia, taking the regular Inkbrush, practicing swinging it. "Nice...lightweight yet stable."

Corrin smiled. "Thank you Felicia. I see you also brought Yato?"

"Right! You're the only one who can wield it, after all!" Felicia said with a smile.

Corrin gave the gem in his hand an experimental toss up into the air, catching it as it came down. He then took the golden Inkbrush as well as the vulneraries and handed one bottle out to each of the others.

"Take these, drink them if you're wounded." Corrin told the four.

"Are these...health items?" Splin asked.

Corrin nodded. "I suppose so. They mend your wounds fine enough during the heat of battle if there isn't a healer around. Luckily, we're not going without one, right Felicia?"

Felicia nodded. "Right! I'll assist any of you in case you get hurt along the way, okay?"

Ari blinked. "But then what will become of you in the case of you getting severely injured?"

Felicia smiled, pulling out another vulnerary. "I'm covered, and don't worry, I have a bit of a trick up my sleeve!"

Corrin smiled, looking at the group. "Well then, I'd say we're prepared. Shall we be off?"

The others nodded. Corrin began marching off, everyone following behind him as they left the castle.

* * *

Everyone reappeared in a blink of light, finding themselves in a hillscape area, rugged mountains towering over them.

"Huh? This doesn't look like the place we entered from before." Sharq said.

Corrin rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, apologies, that would be because the entrances and exits to my castle are strewn about across the land."

"Oh." Sharq murmured.

"Does that mean we potentially could have just bypassed multiple enemies?" Splin asked.

Corrin sighed, nodding. "I suppose we didn't really need to equip ourselves too well anyways. Oh well, safety first. The Kraken's Gate should be right on top of that mountain-"

Corrin pointed across to a gray mountain not too far from them, the sun hovering lazily above it. In the distance, the group could spy a rock formation that glowed with a mystical energy.

"Would that be the Kraken's Gate you told us about?" Ari asked.

"Yes. We'll need to make haste if we wish to get you home before the sun sets. I'd hate for us to be ambushed alone in the dark." Corrin told them.

The others nodded, with that said, everyone advanced towards the mountain, slowly but steadily. On the way there as they trudged through grass, Ari would continually sneak glances at Tai, which were almost always responded by a glare or ignored entirely. After a couple of minutes, Ari finally sighed.

"Tai...listen…" He began.

Tai turned her head away again.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am about earlier. I just- I really wanted your help in fixing the tower." Ari explained.

Tai remained silent, staring in the other direction.

"Never again will I push you to do something against your will, I'm extremely sorry about...you know…" Ari's face was tinged with a light redness.

Tai paused in her tracks, still staring away from him.

Ari also paused, but made his way over to her, reaching for her shoulder. "Tai, please-"

Tai stopped his hand with her own, making a shushing gesture with her index finger. She stared hard in the other direction, eyes squinting to perceive something.

"Corrin." She whispered sharply.

The others stopped, Corrin blinking. "Hmm?"

"...What are those things?" Tai asked, turning back briefly.

Corrin walked over to where Tai was standing, squinting his eyes. His eyes then shot open, Corrin backing up instinctively, startling the others.

"Corrin? What's the matter?" Felicia asked.

"Faceless." Corrin muttered. "Lots of them."

Felicia's eyes also widened, the other four cephalopods staring at them in confusion.

"Faceless?" Tai asked.

"Undead monsters with masks covering their...faces." Corrin said slowly, backing away.

Splin, Sharq, and Ari turned in the direction the others were facing. They could spot dull green-gray creatures stumbling in the distance, making their way towards them. Upon a closer inspection, they realized that the monsters did in fact wear a mask, one full of holes that one could only see darkness in. Shackles and belts were strapped to the monsters, the shackles broken off yet still cuffed to their arms.

"Everyone, we have to get to the Kraken's Gate, quickly!" Corrin shouted. "Splin, Sharq, ready your Inkbrushes!"

Splin and Sharq blinked, the two snapping out of their gawking, then brandished their Inkbrushes, the two of them starting to dash away, the both of them suddenly skidding to a halt, blue ink splashing off the brush as a result.

"Hold on, how are you guys going to catch up? We can't just leave you behind!" Sharq shouted.

"It's fine, we'll catch up soon enough!" Corrin shouted back at them.

"Corrin, with all do respect, we can't just leave you or Ari and Tai behind!" Splin shouted.

Felicia shook her head. "You two are too young to get yourself involved in this! I'm sure we can handle it!"

Sharq pouted. "No way! Either we run together, or we stay and fight together!"

Corrin bit his lip, staring at the two surprisingly stubborn brothers. He then glanced over at Tai and Ari, who both adopted fighting stances. Corrin sighed, closing his eyes.

"...Alright, fine, follow Splin and Sharq, there are too many Faceless to fight here!" Corrin ordered.

The others nodded, the group quickly retreating towards the mountain with the brothers. They made good speed, making it to the foot of the mountain after a relatively medium long run. All six of the cephalopods began gasping for breath, carefully looking back. The Faceless slowly followed after them, one even went as far as to shake his fist menacingly at the party.

My, what a threat they pose.

"You're telling me." Tai muttered, smiling condescendingly.

"That was...easy." Felicia said between pants.

"Yeah…" Sharq muttered.

"I had forgotten how slow the Faceless were. I believe it will be smooth sailing from here on out, but stay vigilant." Corrin said.

The group ascended up the mountain, scaling up the incline again, slowly but steadily. After a grueling ten minutes, they reached the first foot of the mountain. The Kraken's Gate remained six floors above them. Fast forward an hour and a half later, complete with Corrin having to assist Felicia and Tai having to carry Ari up the rest of the steps, the party finally managed to reach the foot of the Kraken's Gate.

"Finally, the Kraken's Gate!" Corrin announced, sinking to his knees, panting.

"G-Great! Phew…" Felicia panted as well.

Tai climbed up the mountain behind them, dumping Ari on the ground below, profusely sweating. Ari also wheezed for some reason despite being carried up three-fourths of the way there. Splin and Sharq followed after, Splin shakily reaching one tentacle up in his squid form and Sharq tagging along behind him closely, pushing his brother up with his squid head. As soon as Splin hit the top of the mountain step with a flop, he froze, trembling in place.

"Did we really just c-climb an entire mountain...when we could've easily just SUPER-JUMPED?!" Splin roared.

Sharq glanced elsewhere, his squid eyes blinking. "Oh yeah, that would've saved us a lot of a hassle."

Splin then proceeded to bang his head repeatedly against the stone ground they stood on, startling the others. Tai sighed, walking over to the younger brother, then snatched him up from the ground, then smacked him once.

"Ow, wha-"

Tai smirked. "What do you know, works with both of you. Don't smash your head out, Splin. Seriously."

Splin sighed in exhaustion, and let himself fall from Tai's grip, lightly flopping down on the ground. Tai smiled at the squid, then glanced over at Ari, who froze where he sat.

"Work out a little, dude, not everyone's willing to carry you forever." Tai told him, to which he embarrassedly tilted his Jungle Hat down to as to cover his face.

"Well, it appears that the Kraken's Gate is within reach." Corrin said with a light smile, looking straight at the vortex of energy that laid ahead of them.

A large rock formation with a blue swirling vortex stood in front of them, towering above the six of them. They made their way towards the gate, ravished by the sight ahead of them.

"Amazing. This is the Kraken's Gate." Corrin murmured, staring straight ahead. "It's a wonder this gate laid alone for so long. Perhaps explorers from other realities used this?"

"Ahem! Hello?"

The group flinched, snapping to the left. Standing by the Kraken's Gate in a miniature concession stand made of rock was an Inkling with red tentacles, bright red eyes, and a red cloak, with a white silk shirt worn underneath that draped over her legs, black boots finishing the attire.

"Welcome to the Kraken's Gate! Care to visit another world?" She asked, one index finger on her chin.

Everyone blinked as if this were some sort of illusion.

"...What is that woman doing up here?" Ari whispered to Corrin.

"No clue." Corrin whispered back, then cleared his throat. "Uh, yes. Miss…"

"Anna." She said, winking.

"Anna, we need to send these four back to their home. Can you...uh...transport them there?" Corrin asked.

"Of course! It is my job after all. Where are they from?" Anna asked.

"Um…specifically?" Splin asked.

"Mmm-hmm! Can't let you through without specifying your location, you might find yourselves in a hot pool of water! After all, that would be terrible for business." Anna told them.

"Uh…" Splin rubbed the back of his head. "One moment."

The four Bate Brothers characters began pondering, huddling into a group while Corrin and Felicia inspected the gate, Anna patiently standing by.

"What do we tell her?" Splin asked the others.

"Maybe we can describe home." Tai suggested.

"Ooh! Let me try!" Sharq said, running out from the group huddle.

Sharq made his way over to Anna, then took a deep breath.

"We're from Inkopolis!" Sharq told Anna.

The sound of three cephalopods slamming into the ground followed.

"Sorry, could you be a little more specific?" Anna asked, batting her eyelashes.

"How?" Sharq asked curiously.

*cough* Splatoon Shared Universe 6 *cough*

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sharq asked upwards.

Splin rushed past Sharq, nearly slamming into the stand. "Splatoon Shared Universe 6, please!"

Anna nodded. "Wait here for a moment!"

Anna then switched into a red squid and dropped to the floor, where sounds of clicking were heard. Splin frowned, shrugging, then walked off towards Ari and Tai, Sharq following closely behind.

"I think we're just about to leave for home, everyone." Splin notified them.

"Good." Tai stated plainly.

Splin and Sharq looked from Ari to Tai worriedly. They nodded, then made their way over to Corrin.

"Thank you for helping us out, Corrin." Splin said.

Corrin smiled. "Of course, if you ever need help, you know where to find us."

"Have a safe journey back!" Felicia said, bowing.

Anna reappeared at the stand. "Alright, all set, just walk through and you'll be fine!"

Anna gestured towards the portal. Splin, Sharq, Ari, and Tai shuffled towards it, glancing back to Corrin and Felicia, who began waving. The four made their way to the portal, just about there, when a blockade of Faceless smashed down before them, blocking the portal. Anna's eyes went wide, she ducked into the concession stand for safety.

"Yep, of course this would happen." Splin grimaced.

"Faceless!" Corrin gasped, unsheathing his Yato Inkbrush.

"You guys take care of those things! I'll stay here." Anna called out, peaking her red squid head out. "We can't have them use the portal! That's another business bane!"

Ari dashed away, Splin and Sharq both shielding themselves with their Inkbrushes. Tai growled, taking her newfound Inkbrush and slicing across, smacking down a Faceless monster, the shackles clanking as it fell onto the rocky floor. The other Faceless began charging towards her, which she managed to avoid by changing into an octopus and sliding to the right. Splin took a deep breath, then began flinging ink towards the advancing monsters. They shielded themselves with their arms as they charged, hardly slowing down. Splin gasped, bracing for the impact, Sharq tackling his brother out of the way, the two landing safely to the side.

"That was close! You okay?" Sharq asked, Splin nodding.

Sharq glared at the Faceless, who began to cease their charge, halting over the steep cliff wall the others had climbed. Sharq ran up behind them and smacked them with his Inkbrush out of anger, the Faceless careening off the mountain as a result.

"Yeah! Try and hurt my brother again!" Sharq shouted, then froze.

A troop of Faceless was climbing up the mountain, breathing out dark fumes from their masks. Ignoring their comrades' demise, they pushed onwards and upwards, growling unsteadily. Sharq frowned, and backed away from the mountain.

"Hey guys? There are more coming up the side." Sharq called out, turning back. The color from his face began to drain somewhat.

"We've noticed." Tai muttered, a dozen of the Faceless monsters advancing from the other side.

Tai slashed at one, causing it to stumble and fall, unmoving. Three other Faceless began charging at her, which were met with blasts of ink. Tai turned back, where Ari stood vigilant, cocking his .96 Gal carefully. Ari glanced at her carefully, Tai simply nodding as a result. The two looked back at the Faceless, which were currently being pushed backwards by Corrin, who slashed repeatedly with his Yato, taking down Faceless after Faceless. It appeared that Corrin couldn't be stopped, golden ink being flung to and fro, until he was punched in the face.

"Corrin!" Felicia cried out, watching Corrin fall on his back, gritting his Inkling beak.

"Nngh…!" Corrin muttered, wiping away ink/blood from his maw.

A Faceless came dangerously close, raising its large fist, but was intercepted by a dagger of sorts cutting into its arm. The Faceless stopped, as ink burst from the dagger, freezing in an instant, the Faceless quite literally freezing up in its tracks. Corrin stared back at Felicia, who was panting, a dagger gripped in her hands. She immediately stowed away the dagger, taking a staff from an invisible hammerspace- Cough, I mean her inventory- Or...her back?

Freakin' video game characters and their convenient item stowing.

Anyways, confusing the Bate Brothers aside, Felicia took out a staff, pointed it towards Corrin, who was healed almost instantaneously. Corrin stood up shakily, shook his head to relieve the dizziness, then nodded a "thank you" towards Felicia.

"Ice?" Splin questioned out loud.

Felicia smiled, embarrassment hidden under her cheerfulness. "Y-Yeah, I'm part of an Ice Tribe, it's um..."

"So you have ice powers?" Sharq asked.

Felicia shrugged, then nodded, Ari blinking as if he were completely dumbfounded.

"Spectacular!" Ari complimented, Felicia wrapping her hands behind her back shyly.

"A-Aw, thanks!" Felicia said, blushing as a result of complete flattery.

"Hey, Ari, pay attention!" Tai shouted, pointing behind Ari.

"Eh? Oh!" Ari gasped, fumbling with his .96 Gal, spinning around and blasting a Faceless in its mask, the Faceless falling backwards, its mask almost exploding. "Th-Thanks!"

"Don't dwell on it, we've got things to splat." Tai reprimanded him, slicing towards a Faceless.

Ari nodded, dashing to keep up with Tai, holding his .96 Gal ink gun steady. The group quickly beat back the Faceless, Splin and Sharq simply coating the cliff with ink, slipping up the Faceless trying to climb up, sending them packing. Sharq raised his hand out for a high five, which Splin responded with a quick slap to the palms quickly enough, Sharq cheering somewhat, Splin only shaking his head at his brother's excitement. Corrin fought back the Faceless on the other side well enough, Tai dashing in between the monsters, cutting at anything that was too close, Ari backing her up with .96 Gal shots. Felicia assisted Corrin, healing with each wound that any of them received. After a few more raises of her staff however, Felicia raised one last time, before the light on her staff faded, the staff shattering into pieces.

"Lord Corrin, my staff broke!" Felicia cried out, Corrin nodding.

"Hmm…" Corrin muttered, looking ahead. A few Faceless remained, each tirelessly grabbing out for them. Corrin reached into his armor, pulling out the green gem from before. "Felicia, get behind me."

Felicia noticed the gem, then nodded. Corrin ran towards the Faceless, sheathing his sword.

"Corrin, what are you doing?!" Splin shouted from across the mountain.

Corrin glanced back, smiled, then jumped, the gem glowing as he did so. Corrin's form shifted in a flash of light. Corrin reappeared in a new form; he appeared to be a large squid with white skin with black undertones, a visor-like area of skin covering where Corrin's squid eyes would be.

"Is that a Kraken?!" Ari asked, taken aback.

"Well, yes!" Felicia began. "Corrin is...well, how should I put this...he can transform into a Kraken at will."

"Yeesh, how come everyone except us seem to have superpowers or something?" Sharq wondered out loud.

They all watched as Corrin slammed and skewered the Faceless with his head and tentacles, until there were none left, all either laid out dead on the ground or tossed off the mountain. Corrin slid back towards the five, the four younger cephalopods moving back uncertainly, somewhat nervous of Corrin's new form.

"Alright, is everyone okay?" Corrin asked in an voice, the voice echoing.

"Y-Yes." Splin said, rubbing his arm.

"Dude! Imagine if Corrin was in a Turf War, he'd clean house!" Sharq exclaimed.

Sharq then went over to Corrin, tapping the tip of his squid head curiously. Corrin chuckled, then shifted back into his Inkling form, taking his green gem and stowing it away, rubbing Sharq's head, ruffling his cap.

"Ah. Anyone else?" Corrin asked, looking around.

Tai exhaled, stretching her arms. "Whoo! Now that was fun. We should do it again sometimes."

Corrin grinned, then paused, his eyes growing wide. The other followed his gaze, a Faceless charging in towards them, fist raised to strike. Tai gasped, fumbling to grab her Inkbrush, the Faceless about to strike. Ari then heroically pushed Tai out of the way, shooting at the Faceless as he did so, knocking it back. Felicia instinctively hurled daggers at the Faceless out of fright, the Faceless stumbling back from the impact of each sharp bit impaling it. The Faceless then paused, freezing immediately, then shattered into thousands of pieces, Felicia gasping for breath.

"You might've gotten a little too dagger-happy Felicia…" Corrin said softly, Felicia hiding her daggers bashfully.

Splin blinked, then glanced over at Ari and Tai, the two leaning sideways on the ground, Ari gasping for breath with his eyes closed, while Tai looked shocked. Ari opened one eye slowly, then quickly backed away, scared of what Tai could do to him. Tai sighed, standing and dusting herself off, then walked over to Ari.

"That was a pretty stupid move, Ari." Tai scolded him.

"...My apologies." Ari sighed in defeat, waiting for Tai to beat him up.

Tai eyed him suspiciously, then shook her head. "I'm not going to punch you for saving me from getting punched, dude."

Ari looked up at her, Tai managing an extremely miniscule smile at Ari.

"I guess this is the part where I say, 'I'm sorry', huh?" Tai asked.

Ari shook his head. "No, it's fine, I should be the one who-"

"Save it loverboy. I still have my dignity. I'm sorry for earlier too, thanks for saving me. There." Tai said, crossing her arms.

Ari blinked, gawking at her. Tai simply giggled quietly, shaking her head. At that moment, Anna popped out of her hiding place, then sighed in relief.

"Whoa! You guys did a great job of killing those Faceless! Whoops, sorry, I meant 'krilling' of course." Anna said, winking at no one in particular. "You get a discount!"

"'Discount'?" Splin asked.

"Yep! Normally I wouldn't do this, but instead of a trip back home, you get a free one back home!" Anna announced.

Splin's mouth gaped open. "Wait, you were planning on charging us-"

"Alright, enter the Kraken's Gate before the free offer expires!" Anna said, making a shooing motion with her hands.

Splin blinked, sighing. "You ready to leave, everybody?"

Sharq, Ari, and Tai nodded, approaching the portal. Corrin and Felicia stood by, the brothers looking up to Corrin.

"Well...we can't thank you enough Corrin. If you want, we can repay you back somehow...maybe at home?" Splin offered, Corrin shaking his head.

"No, it's fine. I'm just glad we managed to get you here safely." Corrin said.

"Are you sure? We have food and stuff!" Sharq told him.

Corrin laughed. "As nice as that sounds, we already have that here. Thanks anyways."

Splin and Sharq sighed, then nodded, waving goodbye. Tai and Ari did the same, following the brothers as they walked into the swirling blue light.

"Feel free to visit if you have the time! I'll be sure to take care of you to the best of my ability!" Felicia called after them.

With that being said, unanimous "Thank you!"s and "Goodbye Felicia/Corrin!"s were shouted as they stepped through the portal, vanishing into the portal, off back to their own world.

* * *

Our four heroes reemerged above the Inkopolis Tower, where they fell on top of the Great Zapfish, and were charred by its electricity-

* * *

-Take Two-

* * *

And bounced harmlessly off the Great Zapfish, who shook itself in response, the four plummeting to the ground below with a splat-

* * *

-Take Three-

* * *

Smashing into the ground-

* * *

-Lunch Break, be right back-

* * *

Fine, landed HARMLESSLY on the ground, as the portal dissipated above them, blue light flickering out.

"Ah, back to where everything is nice and normal, right guys?" Sharq said, elbowing his brother.

Splin sighed, closing his eyes. "Sure, Sharq."

In actuality, they all stood in a light puddle of water. Getting a closer look around, they realized that half of the city was either on fire or encased in ice. Splin and Sharq didn't say much, only staring at the chaos. Tai on the other hand was making her way to the manhole, taking care not to let the dancing flames of the city bother her. Ari noticed, quickly running to catch up with her.

"Hey! Uh, I just wanted to um...congratulate you on your victory!" Ari said, jogging along with her.

Tai said nothing, walking along the flames.

"Err...are you still angry with me about earlier?" Ari asked.

Tai still remained silent.

"Okay, please! What did I doooooo?!" Ari cried out, begging on his knees. "Please Tai, I can't stand this silence! I'll do anything, just please don't use the silent treatm- Huh?"

Tai pecked Ari on the nose, then glared at him, severely confusing him. Tai grinned.

"Huh, that actually shut you up." Tai smiled. "There, now we're even."

That left Ari silent, only having him watch as Tai walked towards the manhole casually, switching into an octopus, giving a small wave as she went.

"Wait, what? That doesn't answer my question!" Ari cried out, following after her.

"Bye Ari." Sharq waved, the brothers watching Ari retreat down the manhole.

The brothers took a look around Inkopolis, watching a building smash down into the ground, fire lapping up the building as it shattered.

Man, I'm going to have to clean this up sooner or later.

"Voice, what happened here?" Splin asked.

"Splin! Sharq! There you are!"

Splin and Sharq turned around, then backed away in shock. Maria, her tentacles somewhat burnt, one literally on fire, her clothes scorched, but nonetheless, she stood tall and smiling, red and white Poké Balls attached to the outside of her shorts. Splin raised a finger as if to ask something related to them, but lowered them, sighing.

"Looks like we're not the only ones who've had a rough day." Splin said.

Maria sighed. "Tell me about it. I'm just glad you two are safe!"

Maria sat down, pulled the two brothers into a hug, Sharq gladly hugging back while Splin just sighed.

Maria broke the hug, standing up again. "Shall we go?"

Splin and Sharq were instantly reminded of a certain lord. The two glanced at each other, then nodded, walking off with Maria. The three Inklings switched to squids, then all three of them jetted off into the sky, falling towards the house on the hills. Inkopolis remained burning for a while, until a large dark cloud made its way over Inkopolis, dousing the city with rain, extinguishing the flames.

Welp, that's one problem to deal with gone.

* * *

AN: And so endeth the glorious Fates crossover. Oh well, Splatfest opportunities only come every so often. I'm going to have to finish up that Maria chapter later, bear with me on this one.

Alrighty ladies and gentlemen, let's get this review train rolling! Thanks Dread Angel and Ultrapyre for reviewing! The Tairi train also happens to be leaving the station, not too sure about the Sun and Moon departures on the other hand, I find myself having a difficult time getting hyped with the state of my 3DS affairs, but I'll see how it goes, maybe I'll post a Pokémon story around the time, who knows? Ultrapyre, glad you spotted Mei-Lin there, I knew my cameo wouldn't go unnoticed! Originally I was going to have Ari try and fail at flirting with every possible feminine unit in FE: Fates as possible as a joke, but I found that idea lacking in the creativity department considering Virion & Inigo from FE: Awakening already did that lots. Oh well, maybe next time.

Thanks for reading once more ladies and gentlemen, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to waste more money on Secret Saxtons!


	18. Master of Agency, Fire, and Pups (Pkmn)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **A Tale of Two Colors | Alpha Version**

Maria hopped after the Charizard and Blastoise, concern and determination etched on her squid face. She glanced at Inkopolis straight ahead, frowning. The Pokémon didn't seem too destructive, they seemed more intent on beating each other into submission, but she was still worried for the citizens of Inkopolis. She watched Charizard and Blastoise, Charizard dragging Blastoise across the ground and slamming the turtle into things each chance it had. At this point, any arena the two would end up in would result in lots and lots of leftover rubble. Maria quickly decided that the easiest way to prevent casualties was to battle them then and there. She Super Jumped into the air above Charizard, then switched to Inkling form. There, she took one of the Poké Balls and hurled them towards Charizard. She flinched, noticing the capsule open, light flashing onto Charizard's back, where the Growlithe from before reappeared, the puppy digging its claws into Charizard's back in order to hold you.

"Oh no!" Maria gasped in fright of making a mistake.

Strangely enough, the tiny dog claws sinking into Charizard did more than she anticipated, the dragon howling out from the sudden grappling technique Growlithe used, sinking to the ground. Maria landed on Charizard as well, holding on for dear life. She looked straight ahead, where Inkopolis Plaza was already coming into view, Maria flying past skyscrapers and such on her way there. Already Inklings and other sea life noticed the odd sight of a collection of creatures hurdling towards the plaza, so for probably the umpteenth time, the Inklings evacuated the plaza quickly enough, the shopkeepers dashing away as well. Moe the clownfish made a rude gesture with his fins, Annie apologizing with a shake of her head, everyone making their way out of the plaza, except for the Great Zapfish, which simply closed its eyes as if to shield itself somehow. The four smashed into the plaza, causing cracks to break through the cement somewhat, Maria grunting as they hit. Maria rolled off of Charizard, Growlithe barking at her cautiously, the adult Inkling sitting up and shaking her head in response, ridding her noggin of dizziness.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Maria reassured the Growlithe, who simply sat down on the floor, making a sad face towards Maria.

Maria laughed quietly, ruffling the Growlithe's head, then whipped her head around to face Charizard and Blastoise. Blastoise didn't move much, its eyes swirling around dizzily. Maria instantly formulated an idea, reaching for another Poké Ball, experimentally clicking the button in the middle. Nothing happened. Maria smirked, then adjusted her Golf Visor on her head to face backwards for whatever reason, then tossed the Poké Ball with all her might, the small capsule lightly smacking the overgrown turtle, absorbing Blastoise in a white shroud of light, Charizard falling from a Blastoise-sized distance up in the air into the ground with a groan. The capsule wobbled back and forth, the button in the middle glowing red periodically, until the Poké Ball stopped with a click noise, signaling Maria's short triumph. Maria pumped her fist up in the air, grinning, up until she realized that Charizard was getting up. Charizard shook its head, glaring straight at Maria, snorting hot air out of its nostrils. Maria froze in place, Charizard getting to its feet and letting loose a loud roar, cracking windows in the plaza.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT, CAT BREATH!" Moe could be heard shouting in the distance.

"Mrow! (Hey, I don't smell that paw-ful!)" Judd also said.

Maria turned her head in the direction the voices came from, frowning. She turned back to Charizard, who snorted, reaching into the ground. Maria then began worrying, staring down at Growlithe, who adopted a fighting stance. Maria bit her lip. She wasn't too sure she wanted to tangle up close and personal with a fire-breathing dragon, but she also didn't feel great about sending in a puppy to do it either.

Hey, Maria.

Maria snapped towards the sky. "Huh?"

I can give you a few pointers if you like.

Maria then nodded. "I'd appreciate that!"

You can buy my Pokémon walkthrough for only $14.99 if you like.

Maria's eye twitched as Charizard began ripping out a large chunk of the plaza. "No! Any FREE help would be fine right now!"

Okay, okay, fine. Just sign here for a free trial-

"NOW!" Maria screamed angrily, startling the Growlithe.

Heh, just messing with you.

A notepad fell from the sky, landing by Maria's feet. She blinked, quickly shifting into a squid, picking it up, then reverted back to an Inkling, reading the notepad thoroughly, Growlithe getting somewhat anxious, backing up as Charizard demonstrated its might. The contents consisted of Pokémon names. Underlined at the top was Growlithe's name, as well as a relatively decent drawing of the animal. Three words were labeled underneath; Agility, Double Kick, and Flame Burst.

"...Thanks." Maria muttered.

You're welcome.

Maria looked straight ahead, where Charizard held a large chunk of rock up, smashing it down onto the ground, scattering the pebbles towards Growlithe. Maria cringed, the Growlithe shaking off the impact decently, yipping at the Charizard. Charizard didn't take the insult well, dashing towards Growlithe, taking flight a short distance off the ground. Maria read through the list, then raised her index finger.

"A-Agility?" She said uncertainly.

Growlithe yipped, and proceeded to dash laps around Charizard, bewildering the dragon, until Growlithe ended up above Charizard again, agitating the larger orange Pokémon. Maria took a step back, letting Charizard smash into one of the barriers of the plaza, who shook its head irritably.

"Hmm...this one looks promising." Maria muttered, looking down the list. "Flame Burst."

Upon hearing that, Growlithe perked up, then gaped its mouth. Charizard snarled, smacking Growlithe off of him, the pup accidentally firing anyways, a glob of flame tossed out of its maw off into Inkopolis.

Maria blinked. "...Well, it's just a small ember. How much can it-"

An explosion went off, smaller embers bursting up into the air, catching to other buildings within seconds. All three of them sat in silence, awkwardly watching as the fire spread. After a while, they turned back to each other, shrugged, then went back to fighting stances. Charizard charged towards Growlithe, claws raised.

"Erm...Double-Kick!" She told the Growlithe.

Growlithe obliged, leaping up towards Charizard, batting the dragon twice using its paws, scratching at it, Charizard simply headbutting the pup, slamming it towards Maria, catching the pup as it landed in her arms. Growlithe whimpered, attempting to struggle out of her grip, Maria rubbing its head. She reached down with one arm, taking a familiar Poké Ball from her pants pockets, then clicked the button in the middle, encapsulating Growlithe, much to its protests. She rubbed the Poké Ball as to reassure Growlithe somehow, stowing away the sphere, taking out another one. She tossed it on the ground before her, a familiar fox shape forming in front of her, Vulpix appearing in a blink of light. Vulpix gave a small yip at Charizard, who smirked, almost laughing at the smaller Pokémon. Maria looked down at the notepad, frowning. She experimentally lifted the first page, where lo and behold, Vulpix's info was written down, with another picture detailing Vulpix in all its multiple tail glory. Like Growlithe, only three words were written down; the words written down being Feint Attack, Hex, and Extrasensory, one of the moves below scribbled over with pen. Maria raised an eyebrow, looking up to the sky.

Maria bit her lip, glancing at Charizard. Charizard was practically trying to curbstomp, leaping up and down using its gigantic wings, Vulpix squeaking each time it touched down close, the fox running around the plaza while Charizard rampaged behind it. Each stomp created a new fissure in the cement, the fact Charizard occasionally shot fire to and fro didn't help the destruction.

"Vulpix! Extrasensory!" Maria called out.

Vulpix's ear twitched. The red fox took a stance, turning around to face Charizard, then glared at Charizard. A glint flashed briefly in its eye, before a blue-violet light washed over Charizard. The orange dragon snarled, before crashing into the ground, groaning in pain and anger. Charizard stood up somewhat wobbly, shaking its head.

"Now...use Feint Attack!" Maria called out, pointing towards Charizard.

Vulpix nodded, then charged towards Charizard, headbutting Charizard, a plume of black smoke coming off where Charizard slammed into it, Charizard snarling. Charizard then scratched at Vulpix with its claws, sending Vulpix reeling backwards.

"Uh...H-Hex!" Maria commanded desperately.

The red fox glared, a dark light and violet flames materializing, but were halted by another slash of Charizard's claws. After the blow, Vulpix attempted to stand up straight, but ultimately found itself too weakened to stand straight anymore, falling back on the ground. Maria gasped, reaching for a Poké Ball, encapsulating Vulpix, sending it back. Maria stowed away the Poké Ball, raising her fists in defense. Charizard smirked, blowing fire her way, which Maria dodged for the most part, her lime tentacles catching fire. Maria grunted, rolling out of the way, tiredly watching Charizard carefully. Charizard stepped forward, raising its claws, Maria's eyes expanding in shock. Under normal circumstances, this would pretty much be the end, and by the end, Maria would black out, lose money, and the Charizard would keep on terrorizing poor Inkopolis...

*But it refused.

One of Maria's remaining Poké Balls opened up, revealing a somewhat beaten yet now conscious Blastoise, who raised its arms in defense. Charizard slashed at Blastoise, the blow merely scratching it shell. Charizard's irises shrunk in realization, Blastoise lowering its dual cannons on its back, unleashing a barrage of water. The pressure of the water (which under realistic circumstances would shoot Charizard's head off, but this isn't a Pokémon creepypasta, amirite?) launched Charizard towards Inkopolis Tower, where the Great Zapfish was waiting. As soon as Charizard collided with the fish guardian of the tower, the Great Zapfish unleashed a discharge of electricity, shocking Charizard literally and figuratively, the dragon falling down to the floor below with a thud. Maria ran over quickly, then tossed a Poké Ball at the dragon, which caught Charizard quickly. The Poké Ball fell to the ground, then began rolling back and forth, the button on the sphere flashing red. Maria crossed her fingers, her eyes squinting carefully at the Poké Ball, a sigh of relief escaping her lips as the sphere stopped rolling, a light beep sounding off, signaling that Charizard was indeed captured. Maria couldn't believe her luck, picking up the Poké Ball carefully, then looked up to the sky. She cheered as silently as she could, excitement bounding off her, when she froze.

"I could've just wrestled the dragon to the ground." She said slowly, lowering her arms.

But what fun would that be?

Maria rolled her eyes. Behind her, Blastoise still stood, blinking. Maria took a step back, eyes wide, but Blastoise simply retreated into its shell with a yawn, snoring from within. Maria blinked, regaining her initial posture. She walked over to the Blastoise, then began petting its shell, sighing. She reached for her pockets, pulling out a Poké Ball, returning Blastoise to his comfortable small abode. Maria sighed, relieved that the struggle was over. Up until the point where she noticed a light flashing in the sky.

"Oh that's perfect." Maria sighed, running for cover, not at all amused with the events.

She took cover, sitting behind a bench, glancing at the sky from a distance. She expected eldritch abominations or more Pocket Monsters to deal with. What she didn't and most likely would never predict were four other characters, Splin Sharq Ari and Tai, falling from the sky, bouncing off the Great Zapfish, then landing in the puddle of water left over from Blastoise's attack. Maria stared at them in disbelief, watching them get up. Tai walked over to the manhole, Ari following behind, when she noticed the Octoling peck the Inkling on the nose, bewildering Ari. The two traveled down the manhole together, Splin and Sharq waving them off. Maria smiled at them, then stood up, walking over.

Man, I'm gonna have to clean this up sooner or later.

"...If it helps, I can assist you." Maria offered.

Nah, just get the brothers out of here, I'll take care of the rest. Thanks.

"Thank you for that list." Maria said in turn.

Anytime.

Maria then set her sights on the brothers, running up to them. "Splin, Sharq! There you are!"

Splin and Sharq turned to Maria, backing up at her roughed up appearance. Splin made an attempt to say something, sticking his index finger in the air, but ultimately sighed, lowering his finger.

"Looks like we're not the only ones who've had a rough day." Splin said.

Maria sighed. "Tell me about it. I'm just glad you two are safe!"

Maria stooped down to their level, then hugged the two, Sharq hugging back gladly, while Splin just sighed, accepting what's been given to him.

Maria soon broke the hug, standing back up. "Shall we go?"

Splin and Sharq froze for a moment as if remembering something. The two of them glanced at each other, then nodded, walking off with Maria. The three Inklings switched into squids, jetting off into the sky, traveling towards the house on the hills. Maria hummed mid-flight, looking down at where she would usually she her waist. Surprisingly, the Poké Balls were attached to her squid skin. Maria cocked a nonexistent eyebrow, then clicked one of the spheres curiously. A familiar orange dragon popped out, Maria switching to Inkling form, flying on Charizard. She wobbly established balance, then hovered next to Splin and Sharq, grinning and waving. Splin stared at her in shock, then shrugged, keeping on his Super Jump path. Sharq opted to pet the dragon in midair, Charizard taking it contently. The four made their way through the skies, gaining ground on the house.

* * *

AN: I don't know if you can tell, but this chapter took longer as I wanted to play through Alpha Sapphire and engross myself in the game so I could more accurately write the Pokémon scenes. That meant finding, catching, and training a Vulpix and Growlithe myself. Hoo boy, I tell you, it was time consuming, but fun all the same. That ends this crossover chapter. After writing it I feel like writing some other new stories for other games, maybe Pokémon Mystery Dungeon? I dunno.

Aside from crossovers and such, let's get right back into the swing of things. Thanks Dread Angel and Ultrapyre for reviewing! I suppose we know why she's quite the cat's meow in this universe, eh Dread?

* * *

Judd stared at the flames of Inkopolis, blinking. "Mew. (Oh.)"

* * *

Ahem, anyways, Ultrapyre, thanks for pointing that out, I had a bit of a crisis deciding whether to change things around for the sake of the crossover or not, and...well…that happened. Thanks for notifying me, and good luck getting past that writer's block again!

Thanks for reading once more ladies and gentlemen of Fanfiction, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to finally play the game Splatoon for once!

(After TF2 of course. :P)


	19. The Parents and the Returned Favor

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Happy Go Lucky Ducky (and Phish)**

Phish walked around Inkopolis, taking in the sights and sounds of the developing city. As pessimistic as he was about the actions in the war, he couldn't deny that the city was looking to be quite the hot spot for Inklings, already he could see kids crowding the dusty streets. Phish might've enjoyed the energetic yet tranquil environment. Maybe, if Pirah wasn't constantly pulling at his clothes. Phish grit his teeth, Pirah strangling him slightly each time she pulled on his undone tie.

"Why do you wear a tie if you keep it so messy all the time?" Pirah questioned, tugging at his accessory.

Phish slapped her hand away, glaring daggers at her. "None of your business."

"Ooh, I get it!" Pirah giggled, slapping her knee comically. "'Business', like work and stuff! Good one!" Pirah gushed, only annoying Phish more.

"Look, you apologized to me and returned my last name, that's cool, alright? Now just stop being so irritating so that I can find some food for you." Phish growled, trudging ahead.

"Stop talking? Pfff. That's freakin' lame, dude." Pirah groaned, sliding underneath his legs in squid form. "I'm just trying to liven up the walk!"

"Yeah, well, I've had enough of your 'livening up'." Phish muttered.

"I kinda doubt it!" Pirah said, emerging under Phish's legs in Inkling form, startling and embarrassing Phish. "I think you like having me around!"

"No, I don't!" Phish growled. "I just feel sorry for you."

"Come on, you can't deny my charms." Pirah joked, hugging Phish by the back.

"Gah!" Phish growled, hopping out of Pirah's reach using his blue squid form. "Will you quit it? Look, I'll buy you food, but that's it. Then you can go hop back to whatever gutter you crawled out of."

Pirah suddenly stopped, sinking to the ground. "Oh…"

Phish froze, then turned around. "Okay, s-sorry, didn't mean it like that, but-"

Phish frowned. Pirah wasn't behind him. Phish glanced around the city, looking for her, spotting Pirah lying down in the still developed roads. Phish rolled his eyes, walking over to her.

"Pirah, what are you doing?" Phish asked, hand by his side.

"Waiting for the eleven o'clock…" Pirah said shakily.

"These roads aren't even stable enough to have cars yet!" Phish shouted, then raised his hands to his temples, groaning. "Alright, fine, I'm sorry again, I didn't mean it like that. I'll get you anything you want, just please get out of the street."

Pirah perked up, switching into squid form and latching onto Phish's neck, staring up at him. "Promise?"

Phish deadpanned, a bead of sweat rolling down his face. _"I can't believe I'm dealing with one, if not the most immature woman in the universe."_

Phish rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine, I'll buy you anything you want, within reason, as long as you stop trying to krill yourself."

Pirah's hazel eyes lit up. "Yaaayyy!" She cheered, switching back to Inkling form; she began dancing around in celebration, then paused in confusion. "Wait, what do you mean by 'krill myself'?"

Phish's eyes narrowed. Was she really that daft? Phish raised an index finger as if to explain, when he was interrupted by the honking of a horn. The two turned to the right, where a bus was being driven through the road.

"Eleven o'clock bus is here. You gettin' on?" A disgruntled flounder in a bus driver's outfit spoke through a microphone, his voice echoing out towards the two.

"No thanks, I think I'll skip this time!" Pirah said, waving him off.

The flounder nodded, then backed out of the street, driving off elsewhere with a few fumes of smoke blasting off into their faces. Phish stared at where the bus was with a blank expression on his face. Pirah looked at him, then took her Black Arrowbands off, wiping the lenses.

"So," Pirah began, readjusting her glasses on her face. "Where we going?"

Phish sighed. "Wherever you want to."

* * *

Phish poked at his catfish burger curiously. Pirah was gladly gobbling fries and her own burger across from him, the two sitting in a small burger joint where employees were watching the two from the kitchen, the business day too slow for them to do anything else apparently, one particular female watching from the counter, hands on her cheeks, extremely invested in their dining affairs. Phish on the other hand was silently pondering how much food an Inkling was capable of stuffing in her gut. Pirah momentarily ceased stuffing her mouth for a moment, blinked, then nudged the food on Phish's side. Phish shook his head, sighed, pushing the food over to Pirah, who gladly began chomping down on them.

"You know if you eat too much that quickly, one of your hearts is gonna have an attack." Phish pointed out in a hardly caring tone.

Pirah ignored Phish, literally chomping down slowly as if to draw it out to annoy Phish, only causing Phish to sigh more. Phish turned to the employees who were "hard at work" staring at Pirah's immeasurable appetite, Phish shrugging. They smiled reassuringly, all of them turning back to Pirah. The table was entirely clean save for a few empty bags and napkins, with a satisfied Pirah patting her stomach, the only indication of her feeding frenzy on the innocent meal were ketchup stains on her glasses. Everyone stared at her in silence.

"...Huh? What's wrong?" Pirah asked.

"...Nothing, you just have something on your glasses." Phish pointed out.

Pirah blinked, taking off her Black Arrowbands, wiped them off, then stood up and turned to the employees gawking from behind the counter.

"Thanks for the food!" Pirah called. "Come on Phish!"

Pirah hummed to herself as she left the building, leaving Phish at the table. Phish sighed, stood up, reaching into his shorts pockets. He pulled out a sizable amount of coins, stacking them on the table, then waved the employees off with a curt nod as to say "thank you for putting up with us", following Pirah outside. Pirah was seen stretching her arms, giving a content sigh as she leaned against a traffic light post.

"Thanks for buying me food, Phish! I really appreciate it!" Pirah smiled.

"That makes one of us. Alright, I bought you food, so go hop off and do...whatever you do." Phish said, walking off.

Phish sighed, semi-relieved that escapade was over, when he felt something latch onto his back. Phish turned his head, where Pirah was attached to him like a backpack, wrapping her tentacles around his arms.

"What? I gave you food." Phish said.

"Yeah. Now it's my turn to return the favor somehow, since you gave me two meals." Pirah told him.

Phish frowned, his eyebrows lowering. "You can do me a favor by going home."

Pirah shook her head, shifting back into Inkling form. "What kind of a friend would that make me? I'm going to follow you around until I successfully make you happy!"

Phish groaned. "I already told you, just go home and I'll BE happy!"

Pirah frowned. "Why are you so pessimistic about everything?"

Because of character writing.

The two Inklings stared at the sky in response to the reply.

"Huh?" Pirah tilted her head.

Nothing, nevermind. Go ahead and keep bugging Phish some more.

"Oh, okay!" Pirah grinned.

"Screw you voice." Phish growled.

I'd say, "at least take me out to dinner first", but it seems you and Pirah already have that taken care of.

Phish scoffed, looking away. "I'm sure you of all people would've realized our incompatibility."

"And I think you're just being grumpy." Pirah said, poking Phish on the nose. "That's all I see, a big grumpy face."

Phish rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine, you want to follow me around all day and waste your time? Be my guest, Pirah."

Pirah smiled. "Okay!"

Phish began walking away, Pirah following a few inches (a few more centimeters behind if you prefer the Metric system :3) behind closely. Phish cocked an eyebrow, breaking into a light jog. Pirah did the same. Phish began sprinting as fast as he could, dashing around buildings and sidewalks, Pirah still close on his tentacles. After five minutes of pointless chases, Phish slowed down, leaning on the side of a building. Pirah met up with him, leaning besides him.

"That was fun." Pirah commented.

"You're not going to leave me alone, are you?" Phish uttered hopelessly.

"I told you, not until I repay the debt." Pirah reminded him.

"...Well, then I suppose I might have something you can do." Phish sighed.

* * *

After a momentary Super Jump, the two found themselves back at Phish's house, standing underneath the Pirah-sized hole in the ceiling. Pirah was now garbed with a handyman's tool belt around her waist.

"You're going to help me fix the hole in the ceiling you made." Phish told her.

Pirah frowned. "Dang it."

"Hey, I thought you said you wanted to help." Phish told her.

"I did, but only for fun stuff!" Pirah replied.

"Oh, then if it isn't to your liking, you can leave, no skin off my back." Phish told her in a matter-of-factly tone.

Pirah pouted. "No fair! This was supposed to be us hanging out! Get to know each other, you know?"

Phish sighed, shaking his head. "That's the thing, I don't want to make friends. Help me with this, then we're done."

Pirah crossed her arms, pouting harder. "You're no fun, you know that?"

"And you're annoying, guess we're both out of luck." Phish snarked.

"Meh meh meh meh meh!" Pirah mocked him quietly.

Phish began walking upstairs, up onto the flat roof, where he had various planks, tools, a bucket of paste and a bucket filled with tan paint. Phish looked down through the hole, where Pirah was standing. He began lowering the bucket into the hole towards her, Pirah's eyes lighting up for a second.

"Are we going to paint something?!" Pirah asked excitably.

"Yeah. You're going to help me paint the roof chunk." Phish told her.

Pirah's face switched to that of complete bewilderment. "How did you singlehandedly turn something we live for into something boring?"

"We don't 'live' for shooting paint, Pirah." Phish told her, Pirah rolling her eyes.

"What about the tower they're building? That could be fun." Pirah said, picking up the bucket.

Phish frowned, handing down a small paintbrush. "I think it's a waste of time."

Pirah picked up the paintbrush, then dipped it in the paint can. "Also, why do you choose boring colors? Why do you like being so boring?"

"It's better than getting shot in the war." Phish muttered.

"Huh?" Pirah hummed curiously.

"Nothing, just get ready to paint the ceiling." Phish answered.

Pirah sighed, then nodded slowly. Phish reached for a sizable wooden plank, taking a brush from the side, dipping it into the bucket of white paste. He coated the plank from the sides, then placed it inside the hole carefully. As soon as he did so, the sound of a bucket clattering from below with the added sound of rapid intense swishing caught his attention.

"..." Phish's eyebrows lowered.

Slowly, Phish retreated inside the house, peeking his head through the trapdoor. The entire house was coated in blue, Pirah, sitting on Phish's bed with a paintbrush in her hands.

"...I don't even own any blue paint." Phish growled, his eye twitching.

"...You can uh...swim around your house now?" Pirah offered.

* * *

Phish spent the rest of the afternoon chasing Pirah up and down the hills brandishing a paintbrush like a knife.

* * *

After a while, Phish lost Pirah somewhere in a thicket. Deciding that it would be stupid to draw the chase out longer than that, Phish decided to walk back home, twigs and leaves stuck to his clothes. He trudged back home, flung the door open, and landed on the blue surface below. Or at least he thought it was blue. Phish opened one eye carefully, noticing that Pirah was there, covered in blue, splotches of blue being wiped off the wall with a sponge. Phish stared at her in disbelief. Pirah turned back, then froze, dropping the sponge.

"How…?" Phish began.

"I um...Super Jumped while you were untangling yourself from all those branches." Pirah said, twiddling her fingers.

"Did you...clean this up?" Phish asked uncertainly, looking at the sponge in particular.

Pirah nodded. "Sorry, I should've waited for you."

"What? No, this is- This is fine." Phish said, getting up to his feet.

"...I'm really sorry Phish. I guess the only thing I can do right is annoy you. W-When I'm done, I'll leave." Pirah said.

Phish stared at Pirah, then looked away guiltily. "...You have an extra sponge?"

Pirah turned back, confused. Phish reached his hand out, looking away.

"This is my house, I'll help clean. D-Do you want my help or not?" Phish asked.

Pirah gawked at Phish, then nodded. After about a half hour later of near endless scrubbing, Phish and Pirah were finished, the house looking spotless. They turned to each other, Phish holding one of his arms sheepishly.

"...Thanks. You can go now." Phish told her.

Pirah nodded solemnly, then began walking off out of the house. As soon as she reached the door, she turned back, where Phish stood, looking down at the floor. Pirah smiled, then snuck over to him, hugging him tightly. Phish grunted, his eyes going wide.

"What's going on?" Phish asked.

"Giving you a hug, silly." Pirah said, snuggling into his shoulder. "I'm sorry again, I feel like I was more of a burden than a help…"

"..." Phish glanced away.

"I'll be sure to try harder to make you happy next time though! I won't stop until I've repaid the favor in full, you got that?" Pirah said, looking at Phish.

Phish stared back, then nodded. Pirah beamed, hugging Phish tighter.

"Alright! Next time I'll be sure to do just that! Bye Phish!" Pirah said, breaking the hug and running out the door.

Phish watched her leave, walking outside of the house and watching Pirah switch into squid form, leaping off into the evening sky, leaning back on his house as he watched the blue squid fly off.

"...Bye." Phish muttered.

* * *

Splin and Sharq rearranged their beds, checking underneath and shifting the covers occasionally. Maria watched from her bed, the television on in the background, Tele-Cube and Ann-Gel watching them intently, the alarm clock slowly ticking away the time.

"What are you two doing?" Maria asked, lying on the mattress, facing the two.

"A bit of spring cleaning." Splin answered.

"Yep! You never know when those bedbugs might strike, you know." Sharq told Maria, who simply smiled in response.

"Sharq, would you mind giving me a hand with this?" Splin asked, attempting to pull his bed back.

Sharq nodded, the two brothers gripping the frame and pulling, dragging the bed away from the wall. Sharq then stopped suddenly, something catching the older brother's eye from where the bed was originally stationed.

"Sharq, what's wrong?" Splin asked.

"Has that blue splotch always been there?" Sharq asked in turn.

Splin followed his brother's gaze. Sure enough, a dry blue paint splotch that looked like it was dripping into the ground was there. The two brothers stared at the dried up out of place paint job, glancing at each other.

"Guess Mom and Dad must've glazed over a spot!" Sharq joked.

Splin grinned. "Heh, maybe they did."

The two continued adjusting their beds, eventually pushing Splin's bed back up against the wall, covering the blue portion of the wall almost entirely.

* * *

AN: Another Phish and Pirah chapter for all your parental origin needs. That's another chapter down.

I'm kinda at a lost for words at this point, except when talking about reviews of course. :P Thanks RMVHXtreme and Dread Angel for reviewing! I suppose the side characters are piling up at this point, Xtreme, I'm going to have to look into that. Glad someone spotted that reference, Dread, didn't know you had a shiny Charizard, lucky duck.

I'm plum out of ideas for the time being, so I suppose a goodbye will have to suffice for now, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to play some Awesomenauts! See ya!


	20. Honey, I Shrunk the Brothers Part 1

**As Suggested by Rynowm:**

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Honey, I Shrunk the Brothers, Part 1**

Splin and Sharq were actually using their television to play video games. Wow, they're actually spending their time doing something not boring for once.

"Voice, not even you can distract me from this. I'm placing first in this game, and no one's stopping me." Splin warned through grit teeth.

The two brothers sat in the house in front of the T.V. like a bunch of fools, burning their irises.

"Voice!" Splin growled, Sharq laughing next to him.

"Keep distracting him voice, I'm gonna be the one who takes the trophy today!" Sharq shouted.

"Oh no you don't! Voice, stop being biased!" Splin cried out.

Heh heh, sorry.

In reality, Splin and Sharq sat in tandem by Maria's bed. The house was filled with the energy of the two brothers, splinters of the roof debris that remained from previous Super Jumps shaking on the ground, the brothers slamming down their fingers and thumbs on their controllers; a Wii U Gamepad and Gamecuttle Controller respectively, each leaning towards the television as they watched the characters on screen race go-karts through an elaborate course taking place on a track that traveled through clouds in the sky. The Tele-Cube, Ann-Gel, not Salty for reasons undisclosed, and even the alarm clock were in on the action, a bucket of popcorn placed between the sentient objects, each fruitlessly stuffing the fluffy cooked corn into their faces, or screens, to no avail, none of them seeming to mind that they weren't gaining any nutrition. Maria watched from the kitchen counter, her Poké Balls lying on the counter, wobbling aimlessly.

"Annnd here I am with the win." Splin said with a cocky smirk, sure enough his character was advancing on the finish line.

"Not if I have anything to say about that!" Sharq declared, pressing a button on his own controller.

Sharq's character tossed what appeared to be a winged blue turtle shell covered in spikes ahead.

Splin rolled his eyes. "You forgot Sharq, I have my secret weapon; a boost!"

Splin clicked a button on his controller. His character's kart blasted ahead, only to immediately drive off the course and fall. The blue shell passed him harmlessly, Sharq taking the lead, finishing the race swiftly when he passed the finish line. Splin stared at the screen, letting the Gamepad fall to the floor. Splin's character was brought back onto the track, towed up onto the clouds, only for the blue shell to return and smash into his character, exploding him on impact.

"..." Splin made an indescribable face that conveyed his astonishment and displeasure with the results.

"Hooray, first place!" Sharq cheered, a defeated Splin sighing next to him.

"Good game, Sharq." Splin said, patting his brother on the back.

"You too!" Sharq replied.

Splin laid his Gamepad to the side, standing up tiredly. The screen flashed off, Sharq having turned off the television via remote control.

Maria yawned, stretching her arms. "Now that that's finished, what are you two doing today?"

Sharq shrugged. "We're doing it."

Maria lowered her arms, tilting her head quizzically. "Really? Just playing video games?"

Splin nodded sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, letting his headphones fall to his shoulders. "Uh, yeah. We have to take breaks sometimes, right?"

Maria smiled, giving them a brief nod. "Have fun then, I'm off to enjoy some fresh air."

"Bye Maria." The brothers waved as Maria left the household.

The sound of the sound barrier breaking meant she must've left. The two brothers leaned on Maria's bed, Sharq biting his lip.

"Hey Splin, what game do you want to play now?" Sharq asked, laying his cheek on Maria's mattress, looking straight at his younger brother. "We could go out and play Turf Wars."

"Sharq, after all that dimension hopping, I'm just glad we have the time to sit at home doing nothing all day today. Maybe later." Splin said, the back of his head practically sinking into Maria's bed, Splin practically inviting the soft cushions.

Sharq humphed, looking down at Tele-Cube and Ann-Gel, who had inexplicably downed the entire bucket of popcorn, the only thing left in the bucket being brown kernels. Ann-Gel stretched her arms, and attempted to stretch her legs, only to be reminded that her shoes were glued to the pedestal she stood on. She attempted to untie her shoes and remove them, but alas, the shoes were glued to her. Ann-Gel sighed, sitting down on her amiibo pedestal. Splin noticed her as well, leaning down towards Ann-Gel.

"Ann-Gel, you okay?" Splin asked.

"...Hmm? Yes, fine, just thinking." She spoke up, crossing her legs as she sat.

Splin frowned, sitting up, not wishing to intrude. Sharq was already set on another game, powering on the television and picking up his Gamecuttle Controller. Ann-Gel stared up at Splin.

"Hey, what's it like being so tall?" She asked after a moment of silence.

"Huh?" Splin questioned.

"I figured you must have seen some pretty fresh sights, you know." Ann-Gel told Splin.

Splin looked upwards. "That's somewhat of a tricky question. Yes, we've seen some astounding things before, but I bet they'd look terrifying no matter how tall you are."

Ann-Gel put her hand on her cheek, the other grasping her plastic tentacles. "Oh…"

The younger brother stared down at Ann-Gel, her face full of longing. Splin frowned, digging his hand under Ann-Gel's pedestal. Ann-Gel gasped as she felt herself being raised to the sky, Splin raising her up to his shoulder. Splin nodded towards his Black Anchor Tee's short yet inviting sleeve. Ann-Gel gazed up at Splin, then down to his shoulder. With a tremendous amount of effort coming from such a short statuette, she hopped over out of his hand onto Splin's shoulder.

"Thanks Splin." Ann-Gel said, grinning.

A hint of a smile appeared on Splin's face. "You're welcome."

Splin glanced down at Sharq, where he and Tele-Cube were fiercely locked in video game combat, the cube working the buttons with its edges, Sharq struggling to keep up.

"Let this be...our GREATEST BATTLE YET!" Sharq declared dramatically, mashing a large "A" button.

Splin rolled his eyes, then looked over at Ann-Gel. "So, how's the view looking so far?"

"It's nice, but...if you don't mind, is it cool if we go outside?" Ann-Gel asked, twiddling her fingers.

Splin looked out the door onto the grassy hills. No sign of mysterious otherworldly activity or evil abominations. So far so good. Splin nodded, Ann-Gel beaming with glee. Splin walked outside, carefully unlocking and opening the door to the house, leaving the wooden floors, instead walking onto the soft grass below his feet. Ann-Gel sighed contently, breathing in the fresh air outside. Well, fresher considering the amount of holes in the house constantly letting in air. Ann-Gel held onto Splin's pointed Inkling ear each time they moved for fear that her trophy stand would slip off the larger Inkling's shoulder. After a while of observing nature, Ann-Gel had tiredly slumped down on her pedestal, sleepily hanging onto Splin's ear.

"...Uh, how are you the fatigued one? I've been walking around for two hours." Splin said, tapping Ann-Gel's plastic Inkling head.

Ann-Gel let loose a lengthy yawn, lying down across Splin's shoulders as a response. Splin shook his head, then made his way back to the house, making sure that his amiibo companion didn't fall down to the earth. As he approached the house, a controller was tossed out the still shattered window pane from ages ago. Splin blinked, going over to the Gamepad controller that had been flung on the grass and stowing it in his pockets, cautiously approaching the doors of his home, peeking through. Sharq was currently in the ever joyful process of sliding about the house. Tele-Cube had arms crossed on its "front" screen, Sharq giddily switching to Inkling form to gladly shuffle his feet to a victory dance.

"Lemme guess, Sharq beat ya?" Ann-Gel asked from Splin's shoulder.

The Tele-Cube whirred in frustration. Sharq sat on his bed, stretching his arms.

"I'm on a roll, dude." Sharq said, leaning back onto the pillows, sighing contently. "Splin, you were right, I feel super accomplished and relaxed right now."

"After completely decimating your younger brother and god object in a video game?" Splin smirked with a glancing gesture towards the Tele-Cube, walking over to the kitchen counter, lowering his shoulder, moving Ann-Gel gently onto the kitchen counter.

"...Yes?" Sharq said, shrugging.

Splin rolled his eyes, walking over to his bed, resting on the top of the sheets. "Well, enjoy those short victories; the moment I finish resting is the moment I take you out, bro."

Sharq laughed, taking his cap off and smoothing over his head tentacles. "Alrighty, I'll look forward to beating you twice, dude!"

Splin yawned, taking his Designer Headphones and laying them down next to his bed, taking the Gamepad out of his pockets and leaving it on the floor lazily. Sharq tilted his head.

"By the way, what did you do for the two hours you were out?" Sharq asked.

"Walked around." Splin replied, taking a pillow from behind him and comfortably situating his head on top.

Sharq and Tele-Cube glanced at each other, cocking eyebrows, (the cube flashing an animated image of such) Sharq shifting into a blue squid, rubbing the bottom of where his chin would be with his tentacle.

"Just walked for an hour?" Sharq asked.

"Pretty much." Splin said, his face now covered by a blanket, muffling his voice.

"Why?" Sharq asked after a moment of pondering.

"Ann-Gel wanted some fresh air." Splin said, a tentacle reaching out of the sheets, pointing to the kitchen.

Sharq reverted back to Inkling form, taking his hat and carefully tossing it onto his bed with relatively good accuracy, turning around to the counters in the kitchen. Ann-Gel stood sleeping on her pedestal in a battle-ready pose, in stark contrast to her shut eyes and careless gaping mouth, small amiibo snoring sounds coming from Ann-Gel.

"Oh! Yeah, I guess that would make sense. It'd be pretty hard to have to walk around grass like that for hours when I'm that short. That's nice of you!" Sharq praised his brother, Splin smiling under the sheets.

"Thanks Sharq...I feel a little bad, honestly. Ann-Gel just stays inside all day, she can't roam around without our help." Splin commented, peeking his head out of the sheets.

She continued sleeping, her orange Ink Tank on her back shifting up and down with her every breath, Splin mentally debating whether or not statuettes needed air.

"...Maybe we could take her to Inkopolis?" Sharq suggested.

Splin nodded. "Sounds like a plan…"

"Whoa, wait, are you falling asleep?" Sharq asked. "It's not even twelve o'clock yet!"

Sharq was answered by Splin yawning, the younger brother shifting beneath the sheets

"Didn't get a lot of sleep last night." Splin answered.

Sharq could only grin at his fatigue, hearing light snores coming from the beds across the room, his younger brother's blanket sheets lightly rising with Splin's diaphragm. Sharq glanced at the floor, Tele-Cube also" staring" at Splin and Ann-Gel, rotating off the ground.

"Hmm…" Sharq hummed, glancing from Ann-Gel to Splin.

Tele-Cube seemed to perk up, following Sharq's head movements. Sharq repeated the movements, Tele-Cube shaking in response. After a few more attempts, the two just began randomly spinning around with little thought put into it. Halting, they took a moment to catch their...Sharq's breath, the older Inkling lightly smacking the side of his head to stop his irises from spinning.

"Tele-Cube, I think I have an idea!" Sharq chimed excitably.

The two sleeping Inklings stirred in their sleep, Ann-Gel wobbling on her stand, but stayed unconscious. Sharq flinched, cleared his throat, and reiterated in a less loud voice:

"Psst, Tele-Cube." Sharq whispered.

Tele-Cube, for the sake of simplicity, looked up at Sharq with one screen, a question mark popping up.

"Is it alright if you…" Sharq began, then leaned in close to the cube, whispering his master plan.

Tele-Cube took in each word Sharq told it, and nodded at the end, hovering into the air with a little spin. The cube hovered across the house next to Ann-Gel, a light flashing out of it like a scanner, seemingly reading Ann-Gel carefully. After a moment, the light ceased, and the Tele-Cube spun back around, hovering over to Splin, scanning him as well. Finally, Tele-Cube went over to Sharq, scanning him as well. A loading bar appeared on all of its screens; a hand giving a thumbs-up flashed on the screen foremost to Sharq.

Sharq beamed. "Thanks! This is gonna be so cool!"

The Tele-Cube lit up, nodding.

"So, you wanna go for round two?" Sharq jested the cube, raising his Gamecuttle controller.

The cube responded by flying out the shattered window pane, came back with a clean sheet of glass, knocked the broken pane out and replaced it, then crashed through the new pane, making a crashing noise. Splin and Ann-Gel snapped awake, looking towards the window, taking note of the glass shards. They rubbed their eyes, yawned, and went back to sleeping.

"Nothing's going to keep me from my time off." Splin muttered from under the sheets.

Sharq stared at the newly installed and newly destroyed window, then shrugged, going back to his game, Tele-Cube floating back inside using the door, making irritable squeaks.

* * *

Splin woke up later in the afternoon, stretching his arms. "Alright Sharq, I'm ready for that rematch. Sharq?"

Wiping the sand out of his eyes, Splin took a long look around the house. No one was in sight except for Ann-Gel and the Tele-Cube, the latter beeping quietly to itself while the former continued her dormant statuette rest. The younger squid brother switched into his azure squid form, lazily sliding out of bed, stretching his tentacles. The alarm clock beeped harshly behind him, signaling that it was indeed the afternoon.

"Yes, thanks clock. I can see outside you know." Splin pointed out, specifically pointing towards the shattered window remnants.

The alarm clock "huffed", shutting off almost immediately, a frowning face replacing the digital numbers on screen. Splin sighed, taking a step to pet the alarm clock lightly, the face on the screen loosening up ever so slightly. The young Inkling took a few steps toward Ann-Gel, looking at her. She was still sound asleep in her upright battle position. Though her sleeping techniques eluded Splin's feeble mind, the brother decided that it would be best to leave the statuette Inkling asleep for the time being, and look around for his brother. Which was relatively easy considering-

"Hi Splin!" Sharq greeted Splin as soon as he turned around, startling the younger brother and sending him reeling onto the counter, hitting it, waking up Ann-Gel in the process.

"Ow…" Splin groaned, rubbing his arm.

"Oh, sorry Splin! You alright?" Sharq asked, inspecting the elbow.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Sheesh, I'm just glad one of my hearts didn't stop." Splin sighed, clutching his chest.

"Ahh...good morning." Ann-Gel yawned, her eyes blinking slowly.

Splin cleared his throat. "It's actually the afternoon, but-"

"Good morning Ann-Gel! You guys won't believe what I'm about to do!" Sharq exclaimed.

Interest just barely piqued, the two other Inklings gawked at Sharq curiously. Sharq grinned, taking Tele-Cube from off the counter, lifting the cube into the air.

"Alright Tele-Cube, you ready?" Sharq asked.

The cube beeped. Sharq tossed Tele-Cube up, every household member present staring at the Tele-Cube, the cube spinning like a disco ball, lights bouncing in and out. After a tense minute, the Tele-Cube immediately halted and took aim with a cannon of sorts that popped out of a newly made hatch on its side.

"Sharq, what's happening?" Splin asked nervously.

"We're going to get Ann-Gel to grow so that she can be as tall as us! That way, she doesn't have to ride on your shoulders everywhere and hang out with us!" Sharq declared with a sure enough face.

Ann-Gel gasped, her eyes lighting up. "Whoa, r-really?!"

"Sharq, are you sure it'll work?!" Splin asked, this time his voice fraught with concern.

Sharq nodded gleefully. "Don't worry Splin! I'm sure Tele-Cube can-"

A puff of smoke was coughed out the hatch carrying the cannon Tele-Cube had equipped, Tele-Cube making sickly machine noises, the cannon rotating and fidgeting awkwardly. Neon green ink began pouring out, covering the entire house, the cube flashing neon green with a yellow exclamation mark as if there wasn't enough to worry about. The ink dispersed quickly enough however, disintegrating into nothing quite quickly, the cube hovering to the ground, where it promptly sped up its descent on a whim, smashing into the wooden floorboards underneath, splintering the floor. Splin and Sharq were on the ground, coughing. The only notable difference they could notice was that Ann-Gel appeared a little taller now.

"...Ann-Gel?" Splin blinked, wiping his eyes.

Ann-Gel stood there on her amiibo stand, shaking off any neon green residue. Splin gasped, she was just as tall as he was now. The orange Inkling girl beamed with delight, giving a holler of cheer.

"Whoo! Sharq, it worked!" Ann-Gel shouted.

Sharq blinked, rubbing his eyes. "It did?! Awesome!"

Splin couldn't believe his eyes, but quickly got used to Ann-Gel's new proportions rather quickly. "Astounding…!"

"Now I can finally do this." Ann-Gel stated.

She took both of the brothers and wrapped them in the tightest hug a plastic figurine could muster, wrapping both of her arms around their backs, Sharq laughing, while Splin managed a small smile.

"Okay, this is pretty nice." Splin murmured over Ann-Gel's shoulder, Ann-Gel smiling. "Have to admit, was a little skeptical, but I suppose it's alright."

"Now, all we have to do is find a way to get this trophy stand off." Sharq stated. "Wait here, I think we have some tools under the counter!"

Sharq began running off to the kitchen, each step on the wooden floor moving him closer and closer steadily and slowly. A little too slowly.

"Eh?" Sharq tilted his head, slowing his pace. "That's weird."

Sharq began looking about the house, his brother doing the same.

"Hmm…" Sharq hummed.

"...Our beds seem rather far away from us." Splin commented, looking towards the back of the house.

"Yeah...is it just me or is the hole in the ceiling looking a little bigger than usual?" Sharq asked, staring up at the ever imposing hole in the ceiling.

Hmm, you're right. But hey, guys, did it ever occur to you that you're three inches tall now?

The brothers froze as the realization was practically handed to them. The two of them screamed, which wasn't too bad as their voices were somewhat more quiet. Though not by much.

"This is just perfect! The one day I don't deal with dimensional confusion and I get shrunk! How typical!" Splin cried out.

"Okay, okay, calm down! It's not that bad…" Sharq attempted to reassure the panicked brother.

"Gah!" Splin groaned, storming off to his bed in exasperation.

Splin stomped on the ground as he went, which didn't work quite to the effect he wanted considering his now shrunken stature. Upon reaching the shadow of the bedframe, Splin hopped up experimentally, only reaching a short distance up the bed legs. Splin switched to his squid form and Super Jumped onto the bed sheets, landing softly on the now enlarged pillows, and crossed his arms sourly.

"Splin! I'm sorry!" Sharq called after him.

Splin closed his eyes, looking down. "I know you are. I'm just not too happy with you right now, Sharq."

Sharq frowned. "Please don't be mad, I-I can get Tele-Cube to fix this!"

The older brother attempted to adjust his cap for a moment, then felt around his head, feeling nothing but tentacles. With a hint of remembrance, he turned towards his bed, where his cap laid, now large enough to act as a shelter if needed. Sharq frowned, making haste over to the Tele-Cube, Ann-Gel shuffling behind closely. Sharq pressed the palm of his hand to the cube's screens, desperately trying to reactivate the device, but to no avail, the cube remaining dormant, screens displaying faded shades of dark gray. Sharq sighed, pressing his forehead against the cube in exasperation.

"You okay?" Ann-Gel asked, bending down towards Sharq.

"I guess...but what do we do now? We're tiny now, I can't wear my cap, and- Oh shoot!" Sharq gasped, "I won't be able to play any video games at this size!"

"That's the least of our worries, Sharq!" Splin shouted from across the room aggravatedly. "It's almost impossible to do anything now without getting ourselves completely splattered across the floor! What if someone accidentally steps on us or something?!"

You're not THAT small.

"My point still stands." Splin sighed. "We're more vulnerable than ever. One wrong step and we would freaking die. Maybe tripping off this bed could krill me!"

"Inklings don't take fall damage." Ann-Gel pointed out.

Splin just groaned, lying down on his oversized mattress that was normally his pillow he would lay his head down on, sinking into it.

Sharq smiled patiently. "Don't worry Splin, I'm sure any second will come and Tele-Cube will reactivate!"

Splin frowned. "Yeah...I suppose you're right. It could be ready any second now, and we're still inside the house…it's not like anything bad happens here, right?"

As par the course whenever something like that is mentioned, the ceiling shook for a moment, and Splin briefly wondered whether or not he should pay to have his vocal chords removed. His unease vanished quickly once he realized a familiar violet octopus drop from the hole in the ceiling, stretching her arms once she reverted to her Octoling form, her goggles almost uniform in the way it was slung around her neck.

"Hey, guys? Ari won't get off my back about some sort of sappy love proposal or something, so is it alright if I lay low here for a while? Guys?" Tai called out.

"Tai!" Sharq greeted the Octoling happily.

Tai blinked, looking around the house. "Yo, Sharq? Where are you?"

"Down here!" Sharq said, hopping as a squid towards her boots, lightly bouncing off the black laces.

Tai felt the tug on her footwear, instinctively glancing down at the ground with an eyebrow cocked. She flinched, noticing a tiny squid bouncing around her feet. Unfortunately for poor Sharq, Tai's first reaction was to raise her right foot, driving it into the floor with a sickening crack. Splin and Ann-Gel's mouth dropped to the floor in fear and astonishment, until they remembered the general logic behind the Inkling anatomy. Sharq was climbing up Tai's other foot, hopping on the outside of her shorts, steadily reaching her shoulder, switching back to his miniscule Inkling form one he had reached it. Tai stared at him unflinchingly, taking in the odd sight of a three inch tall Inkling mounted on her shoulder.

"Hi!" Sharq greeted her.

Tai squinted her eyes. "...Sharq?"

Sharq waved at Tai, whose face lit up in interest. She glanced around the room, spying Splin as well, who stared back at her from his bed.

"...Yeah, okay, one second." Tai said, walking off to the kitchen.

Searching underneath the counter, she picked out her very own guest mattress complete with a jumbled mess of bed covers and pillows, walked out to the middle of the house, and plopped the "bed" down on the ground, diving under the covers, Sharq launched off inadvertently, landing on top of the mountain of blankets with a childlike giggle.

"Ahh...that's nice." Tai smiled, poking her head out of the blankets with a content sigh. "Alright, lay it on me."

Splin blinked, then shook his head, clearing his throat, raising his index finger up. "Right, well, the Tele-Cube shrunk us by accident."

"...Boooo." Tai japed with a smirk, hopping out of the mound of comforters to rest on top by Sharq. "Splin, get good at telling stories please."

Splin rolled his eyes, standing up on his bed. "I'm just glad you aren't some sort of random endangerment to us."

Tai gave Splin a thumbs up, showing off her Octoling beak. "Don't worry Splinny, I gotcha covered. Just give the word and I'll do it."

Splin nodded. "Thanks. What I planned on doing was stay inside all day for safety-"

"Meh…" Tai yawned, sinking into her own little mountain, the sounds of snoring coming from within the bed.

"And of course." Splin said, raising his hands into the air in exasperation. "We should be fine, at least Tai's here to keep an eye on us."

Splin looked over to where Sharq was, noticing Sharq sleeping on top of Tai's head, curling up in her tentacles as if they were blankets themselves. Splin rolled his eyes, leaning back in his bed.

"Splin?"

Splin sat up and peered over the side of his bed where Ann-Gel stood, looking at him with concern evident on her face.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

Splin frowned, nodding. "Mm-hm. Peeved at Sharq, but still living."

Ann-Gel mirrored Splin's frown. "Splin, don't be mad at your brother. He's just trying to help."

Splin closed his eyes. "...I know, I know, his hearts are all in the right positions, he just isn't always 100%...you know."

Ann-Gel shrugged. "Hey, everyone makes mistakes."

Splin looked up at the ceiling. "That's true…"

The two small Inklings remained silent for a while. After a few minutes, Splin could hear Ann-Gel manage an awkward goodbye, and hear her pedestal slide across the ground slowly. Curious to see exactly how she walked, Splin peeked over the side of his bed. Ann-Gel walked on her pedestal akin to that of a treadmill, the plastic ink on the stand remaining stagnant while her legs moved, but the pedestal seemed to trace her steps, moving to accommodate her own movements like a mobile platform. Splin briefly made a silent "Ah" noise, then retreated to his bed. He continued staring up at the ceiling, where he watched the clouds sleepily roll past. The clouds were quickly parted by a flash of lime. Splin's eyes expanded, the young brother standing straight up, making his way, albeit slowly, towards the door, carefully switching to squid form, sliding off his bed onto the floor, reverting to a humanoid shape, running off towards the door. The door creaked open, a successful looking Maria carrying a large wooden crate. She laid it down on the ground, retrieving various ink weapons from the crate.

"Eh?" Maria murmured, snapping her head towards Splin's general location.

Splin froze where he stood. Maria's glare had him frozen in place. Suddenly, Maria swooped down and picked the little brother up, bringing him up to her face with a grin.

"...W-Welcome back?" Splin said.

Maria couldn't help but laugh. "Oh my goodness, Splin, how- Why- Hee hee!"

Splin couldn't help but hide his face as a shade of blue crossed it, signaling his obvious embarrassment about the whole situation. Maria stopped laughing, instead smiling as to contain said laughter about the whole situation.

Maria ceased her laughter completely. "Ha...sorry Splin. It's just I'm used to you being at least...about…"

She lowered her hand down to the side of her chest. "About this tall? Uh, something like that."

"Thanks...I think." Splin commented.

"Shame you've shrunk like that though, I had something to give you." Maria said, gesturing towards the crate. "I had a less than savory run in with a few Turf War equipment store employees. To make up for it, they offered these."

Splin peered into the crate. Inside, ink weapons of all sorts littered the insides, from Blasters to Splatterscopes, Maria had them all.

"Whoa. Er, what exactly did they do that they needed to compensate for with all those weapons?" Splin asked, looking up to Maria.

Maria grinned, taking a step to the side. "Ah, yes, funny story about th- Oof!"

Maria tripped over the mess of chaos that was Tai's bed, landing on top, groans of increased discomfort coming from underneath. Maria's grasp slipped for a moment, accidentally sending Splin flying out the window.

"Ugh…" Tai's muffled voice came from beneath the blankets. She crawled out of the bottom of the pile, stretching her arms across the floor. "Maria, come on…"

"Why'd you put your bed in the middle of the walkspace?" Maria asked.

Tai glanced to her side, where Maria's bed sat. "Why is your bed in the middle of the house in front of the T.V.?"

Maria rolled her eyes. Coming out of the pile next was Sharq, who was dragging a sheet as he attempted to leave the comfy confines of the comforters.

"Ahh...that was a good nap." Sharq said half-asleep, blinking.

Maria stared down at Sharq, poking her face towards him. "You too Sharq?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, Splin and I were shrunk on accident." Sharq yawned. "Ooh, what's in the box?"

Not a severed head, that's for sure.

The entire house went silent, staring up at the ceiling.

...No? It's a classic reference?

"What is?" Sharq asked. "The shrinking or the yawn?"

Bah.

Maria got up from the bed, dusting herself off. Only then did she realize that Splin wasn't in her grip anymore.

"Oh no." She gasped.

Panicked, she searched around the floor, finding nothing. Terror crossed her face, Maria checking her shoes just in case. She lifted her legs up, took off her Cream Hi-Tops, and examined them. Clean. With a sigh of semi-relief, she lowered her foot onto the floor.

"What's wrong?" Tai asked.

"Heeeey! I'm out here!" Splin's voice called from the outside.

Maria scrambled to get outside the house, Tai leaping to her feet. Sharq gasped, making a break for the door, only realizing it would be a tedious jog over to the door. Tai rolled her eyes, offering the palm of her hand to Sharq, to which he gladly hopped onto in squid form, letting Tai carry him outside. As the others left the house, Ann-Gel poked her head out from behind the kitchen counter, worry evident as traced by her features.

* * *

Maria, Tai, and Sharq, were outside, checking the hills' grass for any sign of blue as soon as they exited the house. Maria searched frantically for the younger brother, swiveling through the grass in her squid form.

"Geez, Maria, don't worry. Splin's probably fine, how far could you have tossed him, really?" Tai asked.

That statement seemed to only stress Maria out twice fold, Maria taking quick glances towards the sun, Tai frowning.

"Sharq, you see anything? Have any Inkling brother telepathy powers you can use or something?" Tai said with somewhat of a joking matter.

"No, but I do see him in that tree!" Sharq pointed out, a small figurine-esque Inkling hanging on a branch in a tree a few steps away.

Splin held the branch with his two arms, his elbows braced against the branch, which wasn't technically all that important considering-

"I GET IT, WE DON'T GET HURT FROM FALLING!" Splin shouted.

I was going to say that your shirt is hooked on the branch, but I mean, if you're going to take all the wind out of my sails like that, then, you know, why don't you narrate then?

Splin rolled his eyes. "Voice, I can't tell if you're being facetious or not anymore."

Maria switched back to Inkling form, breathing in and out quickly. "Oh, good...Splin, I'm sorry."

"It's fine Maria, but can you please get me down from here?" Splin asked.

"Of course, of course." Maria sighed.

Maria went over to the tree, detangling Splin's shirt from the branch, and laid him down on the grass, pushing the branch away. She smiled warmly at Splin, who nodded his thanks.

"Thank you." Splin answered.

"You're welcome. Want to return home?" Maria suggested.

"Yep." Splin admitted.

Maria picked Splin up, placing him in the palm of her hand. Tai and Sharq waved at Splin, to which he gave a curt nod to. The four walked home, one rather eager to return to his normal size soon. Those thoughts were dashed as soon as he was snatched by a seagull.

"Wah!" Splin cried out, as he was carried away by a bird of the sea, being whisked off elsewhere in its talons.

Everyone stared at the seagull as it flew towards Inkopolis, each one's mouths gaping open in shock.

"That just happened." Tai said, Sharq nodding slowly.

Maria, contrast to the others' disbelief; her eyes were twitching. "Put Splin down, you winged rat!"

Maria switched to squid form, chasing after the seagull, bouncing up and down after the bird, the two locked in a comical aerial combat scene of sorts. Tai and Sharq only glanced at each other once, before watching the spectacle, Splin wishing he'd had been born into a more normal plane of existence with every thrown attack as he was flung around by the beach-land bird.

* * *

AN: After lots of encouragement (lighten up on the [Z]s next time pls) burning the candle at both ends, and extinguishing myself, I finally managed to complete this chapter. Thanks Rynowm for the suggestion.

Reviewing, reviewing, reviewing, never gets old except when it does, because time affects everything. Except when you reset all the clocks in your house. Thanks Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, and Rynowm for reviewing! Man Dread, either you must wear at least twenty Shiny Charms or you have the luck of every random crit in the universe combined, that's quite the shiny count. Ultrapyre, yep, as much as I'd love to joke about homicide and suicide like I do in reality, it'd probably be awkward to do it lots more in this story(unless I have a reason for writing it, maybe who knows except for future me). Rynowm, thanks for the nice words and suggestion, I'll see what I can do with the rest of this idea next chapter.

Thanks again for reading everyone, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to play P- Uh, establish a career in politics. Yeah.


	21. Honey, I Shrunk the Brothers Part 2

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Honey, I Shrunk the Brothers, Part 2**

Splin could only hang on tight each time the seagull squawked and shivered, Maria smacking the bird each time she ascended or descended from a Super Jump. The young Inkling brother felt bad for the seagull, the bird was probably just trying to eat a snack to survive this cruel world and it was getting bombarded repeatedly for doing so. Maybe he'd protest to Maria's frightening bouts of strength if it weren't for the fact that HE was the snack in question. All he could do in this state of weakness was hang on to the bird's talons and hope there was something soft under them each time Maria smacked the bird. At one point during the flight, Maria grabbed onto the bird in her squid form, punching it with her tentacles, which was akin to getting slapped by a fish Cod knows how many times.

"Let. Go. Of. Splin!" She emphasized with each punch.

Finally, the seagull had decided that this wasn't worth lunch, so the bird released Splin. Maria gasped, pushing herself off the seagull, rushing towards the ground to catch Splin, when a cloud passed by, quite literally clouding her vision.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tai and Sharq watched from the hillside, Sharq looking like a less majestic falcon perched upon Tai's shoulder. Sharq felt his gut tighten the moment the seagull dropped Splin.

"Tai! We gotta go help!" Sharq exclaimed.

"Are you kidding? Sharq, I know Splin's in deep water, but Inkopolis is straight ahead, I can't go in there. Trust me, it wasn't too pretty trying to Super Jump here in the first place." Tai argued.

* * *

-In the first place-

Tai poked her octopus head out of the manhole, glancing to and fro around Inkopolis Plaza. A shrimp wearing an extremely puffy coat laced up his shoes...all of them, six jutting out of his abdomen, two regular long legs planted on the ground, but not for long, the shrimp taking off in a swift jog out of the plaza. Other than that, the plaza was mostly empty, the beats normally blared off of plaza's oversized black speakers by the tower were nonexistent, the speakers shut down for lack of Inkling activity. So, literally all Tai had to do was slide out of the manhole, under the snoring nose of Judd no less, and jump away towards the hills, chuckling at her luck.

* * *

"Shh! He doesn't need to know that!" Tai shushed towards the sky.

"Well, what do we do now?" Sharq asked, pacing back in forth worriedly. "Splin could get really hurt at that size!"

Tai pursed her lips, eyebrows down in thought. "...I dunno man."

Sharq could only stare ahead at Inkopolis. Maria did seem to do a decent job of keeping Splin from falling to the ground at the very least. Sharq repeatedly paced back and forth on Tai's shoulder, up until the point where Tai had to place her hand on his head to keep him in place.

"You're kinda irritating my shoulder there, Sharkie." Tai told Sharq with a frown and a roll of her shoulder.

Sharq paused as his platform of skin moved and sighed. "Sorry Tai...wait, Sharkie?"

Tai shrugged, causing Sharq to rise up into the air slightly, falling down as her shoulder did the same. "Splinny, Sharkie, dumb nicknames, you know?"

Sharq managed a light grin in spite of the two other squids falling towards the ground. "That's silly."

Tai rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, I guess they'd be 'silly'. But whatever, they don't really matter too much."

"Why are you guys just standing around?!"

Startled, the two cephalopods spun around, or at least Tai did, Sharq held onto her shirt sleeve, where Ann-Gel was trudging slowly through the grass, making her way to the two, feebly hopping up and down, her pedestal weighing her down tremendously.

"Splin's in danger and you're just sitting there!" Ann-Gel cried out.

"That's what I've been saying!" Sharq exclaimed.

"I'm not charging towards where a bunch of Inklings are hanging out. Sorry, but I can't risk getting krilled." Tai told Ann-Gel firmly.

"So you're just going to stand by let Splin fall?!" Ann-Gel asked somewhat angrily.

"Look, I get that Splin's in danger, but I just don't feel like getting out there! I came here to rest, man, I've already had Aussie and Ari yak on me for an entire day now, and besides, barreling into enemy territory is the last thing I want on my day off." Tai pointed out with a hint of irritation in her voice.

"Tai, please...I can't just sit back and watch Maria, I need to help!" Sharq pleaded.

Tai grimaced at the two small Inklings, staring over to Inkopolis. Though a blurry dot in the distance, Tai could definitely see the plaza. Taking her Octoling Goggles off her neck and adjusting them to fit on her face, she could spy a handful of Inklings readying themselves for Turf Wars and Ranked Battles. Splin, though still a miniscule dot despite the zoom function of her Octoling Goggles, could be seen shifting into a squid above the plaza, bracing himself for the fall.

Tai sighed, taking off her goggles. "Alright, fine. Splin's probably going to get himself krilled without our help. ...That's the next last thing I'd want."

Sharq cheered on her shoulder, hopping up into the air, Ann-Gel nodding with a serious expression on her face. Tai noticed the little Inkling girl, looking to the side, lowering her hand to Ann-Gel and taking her up to her left, specifically unoccupied shoulder, where she settled in nicely, sliding her pedestal so that it dug into Tai's armor as to anchor herself to the Octoling.

"But first things first, I'm not going there without any weapons." Tai said, closing her eyes with a sigh. "I uh...sorta forgot. Darn it Ari…"

"Ah!" Sharq perked up, raising his index finger up into the sky. "When I was stuck in the bed, I remember Splin and Maria talking about how she was just given a bunch of ink weapons!"

Tai's eyebrow raised in interest. "Weapons, huh?"

"Yeah! In the house!" Sharq pointed towards his humble abode.

A light smile surfaced on Tai's face. She jogged towards the house, slammed open the door, then leaped straight onto the box by her bed. With a less than graceful swoop, she lifted up the box, a heavenly light shining from within.

"Oh my Cod." Tai gasped at the beauty of it all. The Blasters, Roller, Splatterscopes, and Splattershots lining the insides. "...Now I've seen some pretty murder weapons back at the base…but you Inklings..."

Tai reached inside, retrieving an Ink Tank, which she slung over her back, strapping in, fuchsia ink turning violet as it collectively pooled up in the glass canister. She grabbed as many weapons as her hands could carry, sticking ink carrying bombs to her head's tentacles, looking like a mobile arsenal with the amount of guns she carried.

"Noice! Less go!" Tai mumbled as she carried a Burst Bomb in her mouth, storming out the door.

"Wait, why are you bringing so many weapons?! We just need to get Splin back before he might get stomped!" Ann-Gel gasped, hanging on for dear life.

Tai simply spun her head around to Ann-Gel, a murderous glint in her eyes, a smile that exposed her sharp teeth. Ann-Gel gulped, inexplicably beginning to sweat under the Octoling's dangerous gaze, immediately shutting up. Sharq didn't seem to mind though, having too much fun hanging onto Tai's shoulder, excited at the prospect of adventuring to save his brother at his size despite the perils (and the collateral damage) that could be caused. Tai switched to an octopus, Super Jumping off, holding the two small Inklings in her tentacles as she flew off, the Inklings' reactions ranging from nervousness to ignorant glee as she did so.

* * *

Splin on the other hand wasn't having a great time. Smashing into the asphalt below at his regular squid height was bad enough, but for whatever reason his vision took a much longer time to reset than usual. Still, he shook his head and pressed on, trying to walk off the impact, stumbling about the plaza mostly unnoticed. He ended up stumbling into a familiar alleyway, attempting to shake off the dizziness, only ending up smacking into a hollow surface. Hollow. Splin felt around the new surface. Hard, almost crystalline, with multiple parts jutting out.

"Oy, what d'you think you're doing with that Super Sea Snail shell, mate?"

Splin's vision snapped back into reality. "...Spyke?"

Spyke looked down, his one exposed urchin eye glaring down at Splin suspiciously. "Wot's this then?"

Splin backed up in an almost instinctive fear, like prey startled by a predator. Spyke reached over slowly, picking up Splin with skinny fingers, eyeing Splin carefully.

"Huh. Didn't know they made amiibo of Inkling's like you. Thought it was jus' celebrities." Spyke commented.

"Spyke, I'm not an amiibo- Wait, you know what those are…?" Splin trailed off.

"Got it little'un, not a lot gets past ol' Spyke." Spyke said with a smirk. "That amiibo box over there ain't just for show."

"Hmm." Splin muttered.

"So, how's about you tell me how you shrunk?" Spyke asked, eyeing him curiously.

Splin sighed. "...I don't even know, because magic?"

Spyke shrugged. "Yeah, seems about right."

"Wait, really? You're just going to take that as fact?" Splin asked curiously.

"Eh, I got bigger fish to fry, Splinny boy. Nothin' wrong with taking an innocent's word as truth from time to time." Spyke replied casually, tapping his free hand's finger on the ground rhythmically.

"Whoa, what?! How do YOU know about that nickname?" Splin shouted in indignation.

Spyke chuckled, showing off his sharp pearly whites. "Ah, that Octoling ain't so bad."

Splin frowned. "That's just great."

"Now I know you're definitely that boy who goes around with his brother. Couldn't recognize you on account of your headgear situation." Spyke said.

Splin felt around his neck and head. "Right...guess my headphones didn't shrink with me."

Spyke smirked at the little Inkling. However, his smirk vanished, shifting back to his normal frown, spying an Inkling in a black dapper suit walking towards them, followed by another one. This Inkling had a suitable bruise on his head, the Inkling following behind him wearing just as hostile, with the same suit on as her associate.

"Oy, back for round two eh?" Spyke smirked.

With a discreet hand, Spyke enclosed Splin in an empty Super Sea Snail shell.

"Huh?!" Splin exclaimed from within the shell.

"Trust me, this isn't going to go well. You're better off in that...shell." Spyke grimaced at his rhyme.

From within the shell, all Splin could hear was the echoing of the music in the plaza. Then he was greeted by sounds of ink being shot rapidly, screaming of random Inklings, and lots and lots of crashing. Splin gulped, switching to squid form as if it might help drain out the noise. All of a sudden, the shell was lifted up.

"It's fine now, you don't have to keep crouching." Spyke reassured Splin.

Splin looked up, switching back into Inkling form. Chillingly, the only thing left in the plaza was blots of multicolored ink. Splin looked over at Spyke incredulously.

"Don't worry, it ain't what you think." Spyke told them.

"I'm getting my refund someday Spyke! YOU HEAR ME?!" An Inkling was heard shouting.

"Ah, put a sock in it!" Spyke shouted over the wall he normally sat by.

"We'll get our revenge someday!" A feminine voice joined in.

Spyke shook his head, chuckling to himself. Splin stared up at Spyke curiously.

"Ah ha...unsatisfied customers." Spyke explained.

Splin nodded, looking out to the plaza. Almost like nothing had happened, a few Inklings returned, walking about in the plaza, speaking of the skirmish as if it had transpired years before. Splin stared up at Spyke, who simply stared back at the young Inkling.

"Well then? Aren'tcha going to go unshrink yourself?" Spyke asked.

"Oh, uh, right." Splin said. "Thanks for your...time...Spyke."

Spyke nodded, waving him off. "Cheers, love."

Splin walked out of the alleyway, hearing the distant rhythmical tapping over Spyke's finger behind him. The younger brother went through the plaza cautiously, making sure to keep out of sight. Eventually, Splin made his way towards Judd's pillow pillar. Seeing no other good alternative to rest by, Splin simply sighed and slumped down by the column with the snoozing feline. Splin looked over at the plaza, searching for head or tentacle of his friends. Zip, nothing, nada, big fat goose egg. Splin stared up at the sky with an eye cocked at the absurdities of the voice. He didn't reply, just sighed, resting his head against Judd's perch, resting his eyes.

"Attention, Inkopolis Plaza!"

Splin's right eye shot open, blue veins running across the eye. Ari, full of ego and charisma stood atop the second floor of the plaza, overlooking everybody from the balcony, the Squid Sisters leaning back in their chairs as they watched Ari, Callie with a patient curiosity, scrunching up her cheeks with her hands, Marie looking ready to call security with a bored facial expression. New in their studio there was a large snowman and a sandcastle behind them for whatever reason, but aside from that, they were normal as usual, as normal as this universe gets at the very least.

"Now, I understand that a new Splatfest is right around the corner." Ari announced.

Most of the Inklings went on with their lives. Ari's eye twitched, before he ultimately just gave up. Callie seemed pretty disappointed at the lack of a speech, scrunching her cheeks up angrily while Marie simply yawned, leaning back in her chair contently, almost snoozing off.

"Even my speech game is off…come on Ari! If you can't win the hearts of a girl, at least win the hearts of an audience!" Ari scolded himself, smacking himself on the forehead.

Splin stared at Ari with a hint of pity. However, the pity quickly shifted to dizziness when Judd left his platform. The cat ref must've been in a hurry again, as one of his fleeting paws smacked Splin towards the Booyah Base, Splin having turned into a blue squid as to avoid major damage, ending up slipping through the thin crack of a door into one of the base's shops.

* * *

Maria, while Splin was hurdled like a pinball, was panicking. She may have had a few mishaps with her children before, but they were at least large enough to the point where she wouldn't have too much trouble to spot them. Now she was scrambling on the ground as a sea green squid, searching frantically for Splin. Or at least what might have been left of him. After a while, she sat on one of Inkopolis' sidewalk street, stuffing her face into her hands in shame. No one seemed to be out and about at the moment, leaving Maria alone to her silent suffering.

That being said, Tai smashing into a sheet of glass didn't really help. "Gak!"

Maria's head raised up quickly. She gasped, staring over at the sound of the crash. Walking out of a store filled with, or used to be filled with glass nicknacks was Tai herself, brushing glass out of her tentacles with somehow little to no sign of injury.

"Hay Marii." Tai mumbled through clenched teeth.

As she greeted Maria, the Burst Bomb ripped and exploded in her mouth, causing Tai to drop her mountain of weaponry and fall onto the ground, spitting and sputtering the ink out of her mouth.

"Ugh! Aw, sick!" Tai sputtered, landing on her knees, almost heaving her insides out trying to get rid of the ink, wiping her mouth repeatedly.

"Maria! Where's Splin?" Sharq asked, hopping out from Tai's grasp out out to the street, attempting to cross.

Maria's eyes went wide. "Sharq! Don't just stand in the middle of the road!"

Sharq looked to his left and right. "It's alright Maria, it doesn't look like any cars are coming by anytime soon!"

As Sharq said that, a truck zoomed right over Sharq, causing his tentacles to blow slightly in the wind in the direction the truck went.

"That didn't count, that was a truck." Sharq said with a smile.

"Sharq...I'm sorry, but I couldn't find him." Maria sighed, shivering somewhat.

"Maria?" Ann-Gel muttered, poking her head out of Tai's armor, hopping over to Maria as well.

"It's my fault, now he could be hurt somewhere, or a tiny blue smear across the floor!" Maria cried out.

"Maria, it's okay…" Ann-Gel tried to comfort her, hopping across the street, another truck running by, Ann-Gel barely avoiding it.

"No, it's my fault!" Sharq suddenly piped up. "I was the one who tried to help, and only ended making things worse…"

"Okay, you know what I think?" Tai joined in, finally getting rid of the offending ink. "You guys are making a big deal over nothing, alright? It wasn't any of your faults. Now stop being dramatic sad sacks and- AHH!"

Tai was cut off by a limousine running her over. The three Inklings mouths gaped open, watching as the limousine simply honked its horn, slowing down exponentially. Tai eventually was released from the tire's grip, looking like roadkill as she left the grasp, tire tracks all in a straight line on her body. Tai growled, picking up a few dozen Splat Bombs, chucking them at the limo. They all landed on top of the limo, and while some rolled off the top, the triangular explosives that managed to stay flashed, before the limousine exploded, ink going everywhere, what appeared to be an eel of sorts flying out of the limo. The three Inklings were speechless, only gawking at the angry Octoling. Tai turned back to the three with a terrifying grin.

"Ha ha! Alright, that was pretty fun-" Tai managed, before a tire from the destroyed vehicle rolled back and hit her in the face. Tai caught it easily, growling, before she randomly tossed it behind her. "Take that...uh, car!"

Tai chuckled to herself. The three other Inklings decided to stop blaming themselves, clearing their throats to get rid of the unnecessary tension they imposed upon themselves, smoothing out their tentacles and looking to the side absentmindedly. Immediately though, an explosion sound came from the area Tai chucked the tire.

"Are you f-" Tai growled, spinning around.

Smoke and fire rose from behind them. They all turned.

"...That's just great." Tai sighed. "More things to report. Aussie's gonna krill me by boredom by this point."

"Wait…" Maria squinted, spying a certain electric catfish struggling to escape the flames, coiling up further up his tower perch. "...Oh good, Splin could still be okay in the plaza!"

"Well, then what are we waiting for?" Sharq piped up. "Let's go!"

"Into the place currently burning down?" Ann-Gel pointed out.

The cephalopods stared at the smoke and sparks flying.

"...Do you have anything better to do?" Tai asked, shifting into an octopus. "Besides, you said that Splin's probably in there, right? If I'm going to waste my time today, I'm going to save a life at least. Saves myself from boredom."

The others glanced at each other. They all switched into squids, except for Ann-Gel. Maria let Ann-Gel hop onto the tip of her squid head.

"Alright, hang on tight…" Maria cautioned.

* * *

Splin wasn't having the greatest time either. Moe the clownfish was already loud, imposing, with a short temper. Now he was taller than Splin. Annie stayed the same though, if anything, her timidness was the same at any height. That being said, being the "strong guardian" type, Moe's first reaction to noticing Splin was:

"WE'VE GOT A PEST! CALL THE EXTERMINATORS, CALL THE NAVY! DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY'RE INFESTED WITH ROBOTS, CALL 'EM ANYWAYS!" Moe called out like an alarm, momentarily leaving Annie's colorful mess of tentacles.

"C-Careful Moe!" Annie called after him, reaching for a cap hung on a rack.

Moe chased after the little Splin, who was attempting to explain his situation, only to no avail, Moe slapping his fins in an attempt to smack Splin silly, his tailfin waggling swiftly as he chased the Inkling. Headgear of every shape and size was knocked off shelves and racks, until eventually a baseball cap fell off, landing on top of Splin.

"GOTCHA, NERD!" Moe shouted at the cap.

Annie glanced at Moe for a bit, eyeing the cap nervously. She spun the cap around a bit as if it might help somehow. The cap remained stagnant. She reached for the cap, attempting to lift it up, when a siren sounded off. Red lights flashed in the Booyah Base.

"O-Oh no, do we have to e-evacuate again?" Annie wondered aloud.

"YOU KNOW THE DRILL, ANN!" MOE- Cough, cough, I meant Moe, shouted, "swimming" up to her hair, nestling in the tentacles.

"Whoa, wait, what?!" Splin shouted, attempting to leave the cap. He slammed into the fabric multiple times, causing the hat to budge very slightly.

"Eep!" Annie backed away in fright.

"LET'S BOUNCE!" Moe exclaimed, Annie nodding in affirmation, the two leaving.

"...Well." Splin muttered, leaning back on the inside of the cap.

Splin sniffed, sighing. Then he sniffed again.

"Smoke." Splin concluded. "Of flipping course."

The plaza caught fire, a burning tire in the middle of the plaza quickly spreading from building to building. One of the buildings happened to be the Booyah Base, the fire creeping towards the doors slowly. Splin couldn't see at all under the cap, but he could count on his luck streak that the fire was probably not friendly.

"Heh." Splin chuckled.

Aha, you see? Puns are getting to you.

"Eh, not like it matters much." Splin said, the smoky smell intensifying.

Giving up so soon? It isn't your time yet, you know.

Splin shrugged. "...Just a little tired of this stuff constantly happening to me."

Chin up, it'll get better. Probably.

Splin stared up at the ceiling of the cap, sighing. Smog and smoke began to cloud his vision somewhat. Splin coughed experimentally to rid the burning sensation in his mouth. It didn't work. Splin then tried holding his breath. All that did was make it more intense. Coughing more and more, the brother shook his head as if to shake himself, keep his consciousness up and running. For whatever reason, that worked. The smoke was fading, his lungs felt just barely less scratchy. Splin slumped down on the back of the cap with a sigh. Then fell onto the floor once the cap was removed.

"Oh my god….Splin?" Maria asked, looking down at the little Inkling.

Splin blinked, rubbing his eyes, nodding. "Y-Yeah? Maria?"

Maria responded with what she meant to be a hug at first, then realized that Splin would probably be sent to the shadow realm or be absolutely crushed by her arms. She opted for a bit of a high five, raising her hand to Splin. Splin shrugged, giving her a small slap on the hand, which was akin to a fly landing on her hand. Maria smiled, picking Splin up, letting him ride on her shoulder. The two left the Booyah Base, where most of Inkopolis Plaza was still on fire. Tai, Sharq, and Ann-Gel were outside, greeting Splin with a smile. Tai, on the other hand, was spraying the plaza with water using a Splattershot, a frown clear on her face.

"I go up here to relax…" Tai muttered.

"You were the one who started this fire mess, now you have to clean it up." Maria told her matter-of-factly.

"I guess I won't have to report this to Aussie if I douse the fire. But still! I was planning on sleeping all day, Maria! C'mon!" Tai groaned.

"Oy, I'm suffering business because of you!" Spyke protested.

"What is this, 'Make Tai Work Day'?" Tai muttered.

"It could be worse." Ann-Gel commented.

Before any punchline was put into action, a random Inkling left from Inkopolis Tower, carrying a Roller weapon. He seemed blissfully unaware of the fire, up until the point where he stopped and breathed in the fresh air. Noticing the smoky fire smell, he stared over at the plaza. Everyone froze. He stuck to the ground like glue, as if his brain was going into overdrive to process this. Eventually, his eyes went over to Tai, who stood there with a blank expression on her face.

"Yeah, uh, this isn't what it looks like." The Octoling said.

As if frightened by the events, the Inkling held up his Roller, raising it above his head shakily. He was then punted to the side by a certain orange tentacled Inkling.

"HA! Huff huff, the great Ari- *wheeze* Has arrived in the nick of time!" Ari declared between pants.

Everyone then stared at Ari. Tai didn't seem too pleased with him.

"Man, you see?" Tai said, gesturing to Ari. "He's always trying to do some sort of fancy gesture to try and get in my pants."

Ari's ego, as well as his frame, deflated somewhat, Ari slouching over with a sad look on his face. "B-But-"

"Screw it, you know what? I'm relaxing at home, I don't care if Aussie's going to scold me or something, I can deal with it." Tai growled, pushing past the others, heading for the manhole.

"...Bye Tai." Sharq waved.

Splin stared at Ari, shaking his head. "You...uh, tried."

Ari's mouth was agape, the older Inkling falling on the ground face first next to the Inkling he had pushed over. Maria blinked, staring at the two.

"Oh dear. Young love can be blind." Maria commented, shaking her head. She looked over her shoulders, where three Inklings sat, Sharq assisting Ann-Gel in climbing up Maria's arm. "You three ready to go?"

Splin looked over at the still burning plaza. He attempted to say something.

"Great, let's go." Maria said, shifting into a squid, holding all of the three in her tentacles.

"Er, Maria, the plaza?" Splin attempted to point out.

"Splin, chillax. We've all had a long day." Ann-Gel yawned.

"What?! The plaza is literally burning to ash!" Splin protested.

It was too late, as Maria was already Super Jumping off into the hills. Splin could only watch from Maria's tentacles as the plaza began burning down. Or at least it would have if a random rain cloud hadn't have rolled over, rain drenching the plaza in an instant.

"...Did you know that would happen?" Splin asked.

Maria nodded as she passed through a fluffy white cloud. "Mm-hm. Since Miss Tai over there's too lazy."

"This universe is weird." Sharq laughed.

Splin could only silently agree as they flew towards the house.

* * *

Splin and Sharq stood in front of the Tele-Cube, which vibrated on the floor softly. Ann-Gel and Maria stared from the sidelines, watching intently.

"Tele-Cube?" Splin asked, tapping the cube. "Are you...are you there?"

The cube whirred quickly. A start up noise could be heart, a logo floating by its screens.

"...'Pizza Turtle Industries'?" Splin read.

Whoops, forgot about that start up feature. You know, you should really conserve energy by shutting off your Tele-Cube.

At the sound of the words, "shutting off", Tele-Cube reactivated immediately, waving round saws around, directed towards the ceiling.

There's our favorite murder robot! Other than...you know, every other murderbot in existence.

The Tele-Cube's saws retracted back into its cube frame, Splin backing away carefully. The cube hovered over to Splin and Sharq, looking over the Inklings strangely. The cube backed away suddenly, flashing a "Sorry!" on its screens.

"It's cool!" Sharq grinned.

"Just be sure to be careful next time." Splin added.

Tele-Cube nodded. It hovered up into the air, flashing light. Maria and Ann-Gel tensed up, ducking behind cover, keeping an eye on the two other Inklings. The cube released a burst of light into the boys, reshaping them in seconds. Once the light faded, Splin and Sharq blinked, looking around them.

"Hang on-" Sharq said.

Sharq took a step towards his bed. Then another one. He began walking until he reached his bed in a matter of seconds. Carefully, he took his hat and gently and very slowly began placing it on his head. Splin rolled his eyes, walking over to his own bed quickly, taking his headphones from the bed, placing them on his head.

"We're back to normal Sharq, you can stop now." Splin told him.

"Hang on! I need to get a FEEL for this hat, you know? I've gotten so used to not wearing a hat." Sharq explained, instinctively sticking his tongue out as he pushed down from every angle.

Splin rolled his eyes. He walked over to Sharq, pressing down on his head. Sharq fumbled about with his hat, smiling contently, then gave Splin a quick hug.

"You know me so well!" Sharq exclaimed, Splin only rolling his eyes.

Maria smiled warmly at the two, who simply smiled back. The three's eyes gravitated towards Ann-Gel, who was sitting on her pedestal, eyebrows lowered, face downcast.

"...Ann-Gel? You okay?" Sharq asked.

"...Yeah." Ann-Gel said, looking up.

Splin and Sharq glanced at each other.

"No, really guys." Ann-Gel said, perking up. "Sure, it's kinda a bummer that I never got to grow to your height and roam around...but hey, I still had fun outside the house."

"Really? Despite the whole…" Splin made a sizzling noise.

"I mean, aside from that, it was pretty good!" Ann-Gel smiled. "Thanks for bringing me out of the house, guys."

Splin nodded. "Of course."

"You're welcome!" Sharq declared.

"Now, with that over and done with…" Splin began.

Splin walked over to his bed, face planting into the mattress. He rose up momentarily, staring over at the other Inklings.

"I think we all deserve SOME rest." Splin said.

The three other Inklings glanced at each other, then silently nodded in agreement. All three went over to their respective bedding arrangements, Ann-Gel hopping over to the countertops, where she stood there motionless. Once on their beds, Splin and Sharq stared up at the ceiling.

"That was quite a day, huh Splin?" Sharq smiled, optimistic as ever.

"...I'm honestly not too happy about it." Splin sighed. "My lungs still feel sorta fatigued, Tai and Ari don't seem to be doing too well...just being shrunk on its own was exhausting. I mean, how much stranger and more complicated can our lives get?"

"Guess we'll have to wait and see, huh?" Sharq grinned.

Splin looked up at the ceiling out to the sky. "...Yeah, I suppose I asked for it, didn't I?"

* * *

AN: Okay, so a good news/bad news I got for youse. Good news, I found out that I still have quite a few story ideas, helped in part by you guys reviewing! Bad news, turns out I'm getting burnt out pretty easily. I'm just not really feeling too motivated to continue writing as much, back when Splatoon was all new and hype, I was all for it, you know? But as popularity reaches its peak, alas, I'm starting to lose motivation for writing this story. That isn't to say I'll quit, I think I'll just take a bit of a break for a while.

On that cheery note, let's move on to the reviews! Thanks Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, Rynowm, RMVHXtreme, and Anon360 for reviewing!

I suppose Maria's not all action rough and tumble, I'll be sure to incorporate her caring side in more, Dread! Ultrapyre, I wasn't implying too much on the superpower side, mostly just a joking matter of strength, but I suppose that could be a side-effect of the writing. Rynowm, I appreciate the ideas, thanks again, writing this was a pleasure. RMVHXtreme, I suppose our Octoling doesn't always put a one hundred percent focused thought process on hindsight, eh? And finally, Anon360, nice to see you back! Sorry for that whole mess of having to read the previous story up to that point, I don't really know whether or not you really did, but I apologize regardless.

Well, I think that's it for tonight, thanks again for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to...rest, I guess. See ya.


	22. Ari's Guide to Flirting

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Ari's Guide to Flirting**

In a dimly lit room in a lavish apartment, there stood a crimson velvet chair. The chair, for whatever reason, was a swivel chair, patches of velvet added just to make it look somewhat authentic. The chair pivoted, revealing Ari, a toothy grin plastered on his face, carrying a rose in his teeth seductively as he leaned on the chair like a couch, his Jungle Cap strewn across the top of the chair.

"Wai, hullo der-" Ari took a moment to spit the rose out of his mouth, thorns and all, combing his tentacles back, smoothing them out. A single thorn stuck out of his mouth despite ridding himself of the flower. "Hello there, I didn't see you there."

The "person" in question he was addressing was a mounted camera of sorts, the red light on top of the camera blinking steadily. His cousin and female squad members, Sari, Rit, and Bas all stood behind the camera, the Inkling that appeared to be Bas operating it while Rit held up a boom microphone, steadily holding it above Ari's head. Sari sat in a chair labeled, "Best Cousin", watching the other three with a supportive grin.

"I'm sure you're all dying to know why you're here." Ari smiled at the camera. "Well, first, I'd like to ask you a question; are you having trouble trying to find your one and only? Trying hard to stave off your loneliness? Never fret, for the Great Ari is here to solve all your problems! I have in mind a step by step walkthrough as to get the woman- Or man, ladies, of your dreams!"

"Ari? Where the shell is my camera?!" A voice roared from across the room.

Ari pouted. "Father, silence! I'm trying to give pointers on how to pick up chicks in order to rid myself of my crippling depression!"

The voice went silent. "...Wow."

Ari smirked. "Impressed?"

"No, but the teenage stupidity is freakin' hilarious." He responded. "Since when have you been in a relationship that's lasted more than a minute, squirt?"

"Ares, begone! How would you know what love feels like?!" Ari growled, his female squad members standing to the side somewhat uncomfortably.

"You're living proof." Ares chuckled. "Bring my camera back when you're done, or else."

Ari huffed, shaking his fist in the air. "I'll show him! This flirting tutorial is going to be top notch, Turf War players from around the globe will benefit from it! We'll be rich, famous, and-"

"Hey, boss?" Bas raised her hand from behind the camera.

Ari spun around to face to camera, breathing heavily.

"Should we cut the bit where you argue with Ares?" Bas asked, keeping one of her tentacles on the camera to hold it steady.

Ari stared back at the camera with a blank face. He frowned at the camera, . "Delete it. Please."

"Alright." Bas nodded, reaching for the camera.

Ari rose from his chair, taking his Jungle Hat off, wearing it with a flourish of sorts. "But be sure only to delete the one bit-"

*blip*

* * *

About an hour later of Ari based tantrums later, they had managed to re-record the footage without Ari's father "stealing the show" with his ten second long cameo. Now Ari stood proudly on the second floor of Inkopolis Plaza, the entire crew filming him with the same technology they used at home, Bas positioning the camera so that it would face Ari, the Inkopolis Tower behind him, Rit ever handy with the boom microphone, Sari still sitting in her director's chair by the window of the Squid Sisters' studio, the studio apparently empty for the day, a melting snowman and crumbling sandcastle inside.

"Alright Sari, just shout action through the megaphone, and we'll get started." Ari declared.

Sari looked down at her lap, where a traffic cone was placed. The four heard the ever beautiful sound of motor vehicles colliding, screeches and smashes sounding out through the plaza. Judd simply rolled over to silence the crashing noises; the Great Zapfish suspended on its tower was currently averting its eyes.

"How do you crash into the twentieth-floor of a skyscraper?!" A feminine voice could be heard shouting.

"Marie, c'mon, how was I supposed to know it was there?!" Another distinct feminine voice whined.

Sari turned in the direction of the noise, but was stopped by Ari, who held her head in place.

"Ah ha ha...don't worry about that, I'm sure not too much was destroyed…" Ari said with a grin, though the bullets of sweat betrayed him.

Sari could only smile despite the sounds of car alarms and sirens going off in the background, as well as threats of legal action.

"R-Right. Should I say, 'action' then…?" Sari asked.

"Nah, the microphone's picking up too much interference. No one's gonna watch something with sirens and horns constantly breaking up the action, you know?" Rit said, tapping the boom microphone.

"Hmm, you're right." Ari muttered.

"Well then, what's the plan now, Ari?" Sari asked.

Ari smirked, flaunting his Jungle Hat, which somehow majestically billowed in the nonexistent wind. "Ha! This is but a minor setback on our way to glory!"

"So...what now?" Bas asked curiously.

Ari rubbed his chin. "We'd need to relocate to somewhere, preferably with less noise…"

The orange Inkling continued rubbing his chin, looking around Inkopolis from his short little platform. Glancing from the cityscape to the sky, his eyes eventually came across a set of hills in the distance, spying a particularly homely-looking wooden house.

"Perfect! We set our sights for my rivals' abode! I'm sure it'll take minimal convincing for the two of them to assist us in our cause." Ari declared proudly.

* * *

Meanwhile, the brothers were at home, lounging on their beds. Maria didn't seem to be inside, the inanimate objects sitting...inanimately. All in all, they were perfectly content relaxing the day away, Splin's eyes closed, the young brother sighing.

"Hey Splin, do you think zeppelins are a good investment?" Sharq asked curiously, turning to his brother.

"Wait, what?" Splin opened his eyes and stared at Sharq, an eyebrow cocked.

A knocking came from across the house. Sharq leaned up, hopped off his bed, and stretched his arms in the air, before going across the house to open the door. Ari stood outside on a small platform seemingly just built for the sole purpose of having him stand atop it majestically, the orange Inkling's hat blowing in the wind with his small tentacles flapping behind him. Bas had an eye squinted, staring directly through the camera lens, making sure to get his "good side". Rit, ever dutiful, raised the boom microphone high, and Sari, who at this point was sort of tired of taking this sitting down, had discarded her director's chair and was standing at the side, looking indisposed.

"Aha! Here we have one of my personal rivals of mine, Sharq Bate. Sharq may not have any romance expertise whatsoever, but that's fine! I'll be sure to tutor him- As well as you watching, the very basics of this skill. Isn't that right?" Ari announced, his female squad cheering behind him.

"..." Sharq stood in the doorway with a blank smile on his face, obviously unaware as to whatever was happening.

Ari laughed. "Never fret dear rival, your love troubles are a thing of the past!"

Ari went on babbling on whatever, while Sharq turned around, staring at Splin with a blank expression. "Uh...Ari's here."

Splin blinked. "Ah. What's he want?"

Sharq pouted. "How do you know he wants anything, Splin? He could just be visiting."

Splin and Sharq stood still for a moment. All of a sudden, Splin started snickering, Sharq stifling laughter as well. After a minute, they stopped, cleared their throats, and sighed.

"Ah, so what're we gonna do?" Sharq asked, leaning on the wall.

Splin stood up, also leaving the comforts of the top of his bed. "I'm not at all prepared for what might happen Sharq, and I know for a fact that you aren't either."

Sharq agreed wholeheartedly, nodding his head rapidly.

"However, if we don't go out there right now and oblige him, he's not going to leave, is he?" Splin said, adjusting his headphones on his head.

"Nope!" Sharq said with a straight face.

Splin sighed, staring over at the door. Ari was still yammering about romance advice towards the camera, his squadron soaking it in like sponges.

"...I suppose Ari's mostly harmless…" Splin muttered. "Alright, brace yourself for whatever he's about to say, Sharq."

Sharq grinned, nodding with a joy that practically oozed ignorance. Splin rolled his eyes, albeit smiling, and walked out the door.

Splin cleared his throat. "Alright Ari, what do you-"

"Ah, just the virgin I was looking for!" Ari greeted Splin.

Splin froze, staring over at the older Inkling who was posing heroically, commenting on his lack of romance expertise. The young brother took a step back, attempting to close the door behind him. Ari began walking into the house regardless, grinning. Splin shifted into a squid, slamming the door on Ari, staring back at Sharq. Splin shook his head swiftly, whereas Sharq was nodding happily.

"I know what I said, but I'm not doing it." Splin said, pointing towards Sharq.

Before Sharq could reply, Ari opened the door, Splin getting shoved to the side with a yelp.

"Fret no more rivals! Your much more experienced and handsome rival, Ari Jabin, is here to teach you how to get the woman of your wildest dreams!" Ari smiled.

Sari took the traffic cone from earlier from behind her and blew in it like a celebratory horn.

"No thanks, I'm good." Splin said, backing away.

"What are you afraid of?" Ari poked Splin, the camera pivoting towards Splin. "I'm sure with courage and perseverance, even a scrawny squid like you-"

Splin began blushing. "Hey! Ari, who are you to come into our house, call me scrawny and inexperienced, then go about trying to give me advice on the matters of the heart?!"

"...Ari Jabin of course. I thought I made that perfectly clear the moment I strode in." Ari replied with a chuckle.

Splin rolled his eyes, pushing his headphones off his head, onto his neck. "I'm leaving before this escalates further."

Sharq watched his younger brother leave through the door, the camera panning to watch him go. Sharq stared back at Ari.

"So Ari, what's the documentary about?" Sharq asked.

"It's supposed to be about me helping you about said love issues." Ari sighed.

Sharq shrugged. "Well, we don't have any love problems. Sorry!"

"What?! Don't you feel regret or lonely every so often? To the point where we could film a whole episode on it…?" Ari asked, leaning on the side of the wall.

"Nah!" Sharq grinned. "As long as I have Splin, I'm fine! Thanks though!"

Sharq waved goodbye to the other Inklings, then ran out of the house, hoping to catch up with his brother, leaving the others in silence.

"Did he just leave us in his home?" Rit asked.

Ari scowled. "Their brotherly love is just sickening. How am I supposed to make this interesting without a source of conflict?!"

"Maybe you could try flirting with someone, maybe." Rit filled in.

Bas nodded agreeingly. "Yeah! You know, we won't like record it and throw you off, maybe you could give pointers or something, then go ask people out! It doesn't have to be in that order, but you know."

Ari tapped his chin, looking to the side. All of a sudden, he clapped his hands with a grin.

Ari gave them a thumbs-up. "Sounds like a plan! (And I have just the rose in mind to practice on.)"

While Ari was thinking to himself, a certain neon-green colored Inkling rose up behind him, her face concealed by the shade of her Golf Visor. Two bright glints for eyes shone off her face, Maria grasping a frying pan rather dangerously. Instead of smashing it on Ari's head, she smacked the side of the house, giving off a loud "clang" noise.

"Yipe!" Ari yelped.

He and the others scrambled out of the house, taking off with a sprinting speed that would put hedgehogs to shame. Maria's face lit up, a smile now on her face.

"There we are. Be sure to ask permission to stay next time!" Maria called after them.

* * *

The four Inklings were back in Inkopolis Plaza, Ari wearing a tuxedo suit in place of his Varsity Jacket, smoothing down his orange tentacles, Sari now wearing his Jungle Hat for him.

"Faithful viewers, your very own Ari Jabin, sad as it is, must leave you for the time being, as I must properly immerse myself in the wonders of flirting. I know I haven't really gone in depth on romance whatsoever, but as soon as I return, I shall lead the charge in the romance world! Wish me luck." Ari spoke to the camera, signaling for Bas to stop filming.

The camera shut off with a click. Bas peeked out from the side, giving Ari a thumbs-up.

Sari smiled sadly. "Godspeed Ari."

Ari nodded. "I love you, dear cousin. I will come back with the knowledge needed to continue this documentary in time so that none of us have to feel the wrath of father!"

"Ah geez, I can already imagine the punishments he might have in mind…" Sari shuddered, rubbing her arm.

Ares sat in his apartment's couch, staring longingly at a family portrait. His wife, Zuchi, as well as Ari stood by him, all of them looking considerably younger. Ares sighed, planting his face down in the couch, letting his tentacles droop off of the cushions.

"I will be back!" Ari shouted, running towards Inkopolis Tower.

His female squadron watched him go; Ari turned into an orange squid, and hopped to the manhole cover to his right, sliding off to Octo Valley. Unbeknownst of the contents of the valley below, his crew just stared at the manhole as it rattled in place.

"...Whuh?" Rit muttered, scratching her head. "No, seriously, what the heck was that?"

"That was such a letdown." Bas sighed. "I thought he was like, going to meet someone in a Turf War match or something then bring her here."

Sari could only nod, the three staring back at the manhole. Finding nothing better to do, they sat down in the plaza, setting aside their equipment, looking at the manhole as it spun, eventually settling down into place.

* * *

As he slid through the manhole pipe, Ari briefly wondered what the point of doing this was. He already knew there was going to be some tension between he and the Octoling. Alas, the fevered mind of an Inkling teenager...or at least the fevered mind of Ari, (also partial in credit to yours truly) dictated that backing out on this documentary would thin out the respect Ari's squad members had for him. So, for better or for worse, Ari knew that he had to do this, as pointless as it was.

"Why is my conscious so condescending today?" Ari briefly wondered aloud.

Because you're not trying hard enough to win the hearts of an octopus.

"...That seems reasonable." Ari decided, with a hint of indecision on his face.

The first sight Ari was greeted by as he left the pipe and landed out on the other side in Octo Valley wasn't a ravishing Octoling but rather a crusty looking old Inkling.

"Gyah!" Ari gasped, scrambling backwards.

"Ah. Agent C, how've you been lad? You certainly seem...dressed." Cap'n Cuttlefish greeted Ari from his blue couch, staring at Ari's odd choice in adventure apparrel.

"It's a long story elder, but it's a matter of...security. I'm uh, off to keep the Octolings from ravaging the country!" Ari fibbed, Cap'n tilting his head.

"Bucko, the Octarians haven't made an aggressive move in months now. Who told y-"

"No time to explain, have to run! The security of Inkopolis demands it!" Ari yelled, running off towards the Octarian kettles.

Cap'n Cuttlefish watched him run, the orange Inkling searching through each and every kettle, poking his head in one and returning with violet stains on his suit and face. The elderly Inkling captain could only shake his head, lounging on his couch as Ari continually visited the wrong kettle.

* * *

Tai stared at the Skell with a bored expression. At this point, the ginormous robot that was primarily used for "defense" purposes was chained up with rows upon rows of chain links, the robot flashing a ":(" face repeatedly. Tai sat by on a railing, Chi sitting next to her, both Octoling soldiers watching as Octoling scientists panickedly hammered down the robot with wrenches each time it made a move to do anything whatsoever. At one point, a scientist was smacked away, slamming into a row of Octotroopers, all of the octopi groaning from the impact.

"You know, I never did get why it's called a 'Skell'." Tai commented.

Chi turned to Tai. "Because it has layers. You know, exoSKELeton, endoSKELeton?"

"Do we even have skeletons though?" Tai commented again, staring at the sky lazily.

Chi deadpanned. "How much sleep did you get last night?"

"Eighty-five. I'm planning on catching some more tomorrow." Tai replied, slouching back.

"Okay, as sleepy as you get, I'm pretty sure that you don't sound drunk when you're tired." Chi said, turning to the other Octoling, an Octoling in the background getting vaporized by a Skell weapon.

"What're you going to do? Turn me in to Aussie?" Tai smirked.

Chi shrugged. "Just saying, get more sleep. And don't drink. You never know when war could break out."

Tai rolled her eyes. The two watched the maniacal robot squish more octopi.

"We should really do something." Chi said, unholstering her Octoshot gun from her belt.

Tai sighed. "Yeah, fine."

The two Octolings ran towards the chained mech, which was beginning to unfasten itself from its bonds. They began to take aim, then were knocked into the robot by Ari himself.

"Tai! I just wanted to- Oops." Ari gasped, tripping, knocking himself and the two Octolings into the robot.

"ARI?!" Tai shouted.

"Who?!" Chi gasped.

The three barreled into the bottom of the heap of chains, landing on a cartoonishly large lock. The lock instantly disintegrated into dust because reasons, each and every single chain exploding off of the robot in a glorious display of writing stupidity. The Skell rejoiced in its freedom, then took off, carelessly flying in the hangar, before it began tearing through the Octarian HQ. Tai, Chi, and Ari watched from the floor as the mech tore through the headquarters.

"Eh, that's not so bad." Tai shrugged. "However, you on the other hand…"

"Sorry, sorry! I just wanted to apologize, ask for a second chance-"

"We've already been over that. Look, just- Drop it, alright? You haven't done much to ink me off, so just...drop it." Tai told the Inkling. "Otherwise I'm gonna be forced to put you in 'her room'."

"Who's room?" Ari asked.

"We used to have this really tall, really...big woman who had an empty room we used to use." Chi explained. "Also, who are you?"

"The same guy I told you about." Tai briefly explained.

"The name's Jabin. Ari Jabin." Ari told her, which Chi nodded at.

"Alright, well, Jabin, you've just released the harbinger of death and destruction onto our base. Gotta be honest, you suck at first impressions." Chi said with a groan. "...Though your fashion skills aren't too bad."

"Thanks." Ari gulped, staring ahead.

"Huh, that Skell is really doing some damage." Tai muttered

As she said that, they watched the Skell wreak havoc. It was surprisingly easy to keep track of the mech, as wherever it went it left behind a trail of destruction and holes in the HQ. One of its tentacles scraped by a hallway, almost beheading an Octoling.

"Wha?! WHO THE SHELL LET OUT THE SKELL?!" Aussie shouted.

"Careful there Auss, you might strain your vocal chords shouting like that!" Tai shouted back.

Aussie had in mind a few choice words for Tai there, but was cut off by the robot coming back for round two. Aussie dropped to the ground as Splat Bombs of sorts with an opaque glass clouding the contents. As its tentacles scraped by the hallway again, a bomb flew into a room, where it exploded in a fiery eruption. Tai's eyes twitched, the tone of the situation switching to something very sinister.

Ari stared up at Tai, who was currently on top of their pile of cephalopod stumble-related accidents. "Uh…"

"My room." Tai grit her teeth.

Aussie's eyes nearly popped out of her head. The Skell stopped in realization of what it had done.

"...RETREAT NECESSARY FOR GUARANTEE OF SURVIVAL. Pls don't hurt me. ;(" The Skell said, flying out of the HQ up into Octo Valley.

Ari gulped, looking up to meet Tai's eyes with his own. This proved to be a mistake, as Tai's eyes were nothing but glints.

"The Skell. Blew up. My room." Tai stated. "Whose fault was it that it got unchained again?"

Chi blinked, looking over at Ari with a sad expression on her face. "I hardly even knew you…"

Ari couldn't find the time to scream before he was tossed out of the HQ. And Octo Valley entirely.

* * *

Ari now dug into a large container of chocolate ice cream with a spoon, rapidly stuffing his mouth, right next to a bandaged up bruise, tears flowing down his face like waterfalls.

"Ari, you gonna be alright?" Sari asked, Rit and Bas stowing their equipment away.

All Ari could do was dig into the ice cream.

"Move over Ari, I'm feeling pitiful too." Ares whimpered, his son shamefully edging to the side.

Together, the two lonely Inklings dug into the ice cream while Sari, Rit and Bas stood by and watched awkwardly.

* * *

AN: Oh man you would not believe! How much I'm stressed. Thank the deities above, praise Hotoke, praise the sun, Arceus, K.K. Slider, I dunno, anyone really for helping me finish this chapter. I'm really NOT feeling it at all, especially considering I have two weeks off. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go drown myself in the ocean because I just remembered I have to follow up on the other story ideas I have.

Huh? Reviews? Right...I'll cleanse myself of squid sins after that. Thanks Ultrapyre, Dread Angel, and Rynowm for reviewing! Thanks you two, glad to know that my burnout aren't without a little notice. Although I guess technically that'd be fishing for attention. Oops. Thanks for the idea Rynowm, sorry I couldn't get to your next idea, maybe someday.

Thanks for reviewing and/or reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to spam "ZR" in Splatoon and just win. gg.


	23. Rolling Out the Dough

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Rolling Out the Dough**

Willie yawned, letting the sunlight peering through his window shades wake him up. His orange tentacles glimmered as sunlight bounced off. Willie pushed the bedcovers off of him, walking off to his bathroom, weaving around the little furniture his apartment room had. Making his way to a door, he opened it, waiting to dress. Instead of just clothes lying about however, it had to be his girlfriend just clothing herself. Zip blinked, standing there with her tentacles extended, covering the light fabrics and shorts she was already wearing.

Willie reacted at the sight with a yawn. "Good morning Zip…"

"Morning Willie." Zip said, tossing a black shirt towards her significant other Inkling, taking socks and shoes from the bathroom floor. "Enjoying your day off sleep?"

"You know it!" Willie told her, stretching his arms joyfully, letting the shirt sleeves slide down his arms, a playful grin on his face. "Two extra hours of sweet relief! No greasers, ovens, or any other shiny counters to deal with! It's great."

Zip nodded with a knowing smile, taking a white shirt as well as her Berry Ski Jacket, swiftly pulling the shirt over her head and stretching her hands through the jacket's sleeves, tidying up her tentacles shortly after. "Yeah, man. I tell you, Pela's really running us ragged recently. Must be all the business from out of town rolling in."

"Kinda weird though." Willie commented, reaching at the sink with tired eyes, taking a pair of Retro Specs by the sink in the bathroom, adjusting them ever studiously on his face, using the mirror above the sink as a reference.

Willie's toothy grin confirmed his contentment, both he and Zip taking their shoes from off the floor, strapping in, Yellow Seahorses for him, Crazy Arrows for her. Willie began making his way out of the restroom.

"Where you headed?" Zip asked, pulling her socks up to her legs.

"Turf Wars, Miss Zip." Willie said in a mock noble voice.

Zip grinned. "A'ight, I'll follow after I'm done."

Willie grinned, waving to his girlfriend as he began to leave.

"Oh, whoops, you forgot something." Zip called, walking towards him.

Willie blinked, staring down at his clothing. His shoes, shorts, shirt, everything was there. Willie looked up towards Zip for some clarity. He was answered with a short yet sweet kiss, Zip giving him a wink afterwards.

"Can't leave the apartment without some sugar, right?" Zip teased.

Willie's eyelids lowered, a dopey smile on his face. Then his eyes shot open.

"Crab, almost forgot breakfast!" Willie said, dashing back into the apartment towards his small kitchen.

Zip rolled her eyes, retreating into the bathroom with a quick shove of the door, making sure to adjust her shoes.

* * *

The couple walked along the streets of Inkopolis, a warm spring day, William hefting around a Dynamo Roller while Zip had a Carbon Roller slung over her back. Zip stared at her boyfriend worriedly.

"Will?" Zip asked.

"Yep?" Willie asked back.

"I'm kinda worried. I don't think it was a great idea to both use rollers. Unless we find someone with better ranged weaponry, I don't think we'll have a great time." Zip said, staring up at the clouds.

"Guess you're right. When's the last time we played again?" Willie asked.

"The huge squad of rollers." Zip reminded him.

"Oh, right!" Willie snapped his fingers. "Man, the look on those two's faces!"

Zip smiled. "Priceless."

The two snickered at the memory. Eventually they managed to make their way into Inkopolis Plaza, weaving around barriers into the black asphalt turf lined with walkways, the Booyah Base and the Squid Sisters' studio shining with sunlight bouncing off their window panes. Also with blue squids smashing against said window panes.

"Hm?" Zip hummed, turning to the left.

Jelonzo stood outside his Jelly Fresh shop, shaking his head. Two blue Inkling boys were stuck to the window pane. He retreated into the store, bringing back a large, inkless roller of sorts, and used it to peel the Inklings off the window pane, the two falling on the ground with a soft thud.

"Next time, watch for the windows please!" Jelonzo called, retreating back inside.

"Thanks Jelonzo." Sharq mumbled on the ground.

The brothers picked themselves up from off the ground, shaking their heads. Seeing a golden opportunity, the couple grinned, walking over to them.

"Hey you two." Zip greeted them.

Sharq beamed. "Hi Zip! Hi Willie!"

"Music Man, Shadey! How you doing?" Willie asked.

"Aside from smearing the glass on Jelonzo's windows, pretty good." Splin said stretching, a crick sound popping from his neck. "Eh?"

Splin lightly tapped the side of his neck as if he broke something. "That's odd…"

"You alright?" Zip asked.

Sharq rubbed his chin with two fingers, eyes narrowing to get a closer look. "Hmm…I'd have to say that Splin broke his neck bones!"

Splin rolled his eyes, pushing away Sharq's face. "Yeah, sure, even if we had neck bones, I'm pretty sure they would've been already broken."

"Well then I prescribe a healthy dose of Turf Wars! Shake it off, you know what I mean?" Sharq said, poking Splin's arm.

"Wow. I would not want you as my doctor ever." Splin joked with a toothy grin.

Sharq shrugged. "So, what are you guys doing?"

"Turf Wars. Wanna come? We could use two other players." Zip offered.

Splin frowned, glancing at the Inkopolis Tower. The Great Zapfish briefly uncoiled, made a sheep noise, and coiled around the tower again. Ignoring the audio gag which was probably lost in the text, Splin stared back at the three.

"Sure." Splin said.

Sharq blinked. "Really? I thought you were going to be all like; 'I hate fun, no way, rawr'."

Sharq made dinosaur movements and made a face, eliciting smiles from the couple, while Splin could only shake his head.

"I don't say, 'rawr'." Splin corrected. "Seriously, how are you my older brother? Did our parents mix it up or something?"

Sharq bit his lip, staring off into the sky.

* * *

A few years ago, Phish and Pirah were walking along the still developing streets of Inkopolis, when suddenly the would-to-be-mother paused, staring at the sky.

"Pirah?" Phish questioned.

Pirah didn't say anything, she just blinked.

Phish sighed, beginning to walk over to her. For some odd reason, Pirah kicked at Phish's sides, scoring a direct hit, smashing into his abdomen.

"Gah! Pirah, what the-"

"Sorry, sorry! I-It was a reflex!" Pirah apologized, Phish groaning in pain.

"What reflex compels you to kick me in the sides?!" Phish shouted.

* * *

Sharq smiled, shaking his head. "Dunno! You're still on board though, right?"

Splin nodded casually. "Yes, I suppose I am."

"Let's go! I've been meaning to try out a secret weapon of mine!"

Splin nodded, looking towards Willie and Zip. "Lead the way."

Willie grinned, nudging his roller using his shoulder. "Alright, let's get moving!"

The four of them began to make their way to the tower, Splin warily watching the Great Zapfish. For a moment, the electric catfish slithered down to meet them, startling the group, Sharq going as far as to pet the Great Zapfish. The fish didn't mind, comfortably retreating back up to its high perch, Zip and Willie smiling at the antics of the fish, while Splin looked considerably worried. Once inside, they made their way towards the room filled with holograms.

"So, what've you two been up to since we last saw each other?" Willie asked.

"Pretty much the same thing we've been doing." Sharq answered with a shrug.

"That being?" Zip questioned.

"Teleporting?" Sharq said.

Willie and Zip glanced at each other, then shrugged, passing it off as a "Sharq thing". Zip noticed Splin worriedly shifting his focus from wall to wall as if they would collapse at any moment.

"Yo, Splin." Zip called, Splin flinching.

"Yeah?" Splin asked, looking up to the ceiling then down to the floor.

"You seem sorta antsy." She said.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a little nervous." Splin said, his eyes narrowing at a pebble just outside of the tower's doors. His eyes narrowed.

"Okay!" Sharq piped up, taking Splin by his shirt collar, pulling him away from the pebble.

"Sharq, what are you doing?" Splin frowned.

"You seem to have a lot on your mind, so I'm going to drag you towards a Turf War if I have to!" Sharq told him, quite literally dragging Splin off into the tower. "C'mon guys, my brother needs this!"

"Uh, sure Sharq." Zip blinked, following after him.

"Right behind you." Willie said, also following behind.

Eventually, the four made it into the tower's main room, lights and holographic images of logos and such rotating around them. Willie and Zip pulled out Gamepads out of their shorts, Sharq letting Splin go, doing the same. Splin stared at the simultaneous withdrawal of the controllers with a newfound bewilderment.

"What are you waiting for Splin? Get your Gamepad, we all need to join a lobby." Sharq nudged.

Splin blinked, reaching into his pockets. He pulled out an oversized controller tablet from an extremely small space. Shaking his head as to ignore the nonexistent logic, he tapped the icon labeled, "Turf War" in light green, the four spirited off to whatever ink battle based stage that awaited them.

* * *

The two Inklings reemerged from the yellow spawnpoint, shaking off their dizziness. Their rollers were dyed almost golden, shimmering rather nicely thanks to the sunlight. Splin and Sharq followed behind, emerging from the yellow with new butter-like colored tentacles, Sharq holding something behind his back with a childlike mischievous look, Splin blinking as to perceive his surroundings. Rows of shipping containers laid ahead of them, separated by several black asphalt paths. Machinery and commotion buzzed around the arena. They had been shipped off to Port Mackerel, the "best" date location in all of Inkopolis' locations.

* * *

Elsewhere, Callie, a minuscule bandage on her nose, sneezed somewhere.

* * *

Despite the cluttered clusters of boxes laying around, two vehicles aimlessly driving back and forth, and the overall claustrophobic atmosphere, three of them were raring to go. Splin, on the other hand, was still skeptical, staring towards the sky.

Sharq frowned, lightly elbowing Splin. "Hey! C'mon Splin, chin up! We're not going to get attacked or anything."

Splin sighed. "I'd like to believe that Sharq, I really would."

"Then calm your tentacles and play!" Sharq said, patting his brother on the back. "Get your weapon and we'll start."

Splin frowned, glancing at his back. "My…weapon?"

Sharq rolled his eyes. "Reach into your pockets! I knew you'd forget, so I decided to sneak it in when I had the chance!"

Zip froze, glancing back. She stared at Willie and Sharq. Willie, she knew he had a decently short range. Splin and Sharq on the other hand…

"So...what're your weapons?" Zip asked, attempting to play it cool.

"I've decided to reuse one of my best weapons!" Sharq announced, reaching behind his back.

" _Okay, it can't be a roller. It's too large to conceal behind his back."_ Zip concluded in her mind.

As par the course, Sharq pulled out a Krak-On Roller from behind him, Zip sweating profusely as a result. Noticing Zip's minor reaction, he too turned around, his pupils shrinking upon noticing Sharq. The roller glinted in the sun, a small black odometer attached to the side of the handle just under the roller head.

"I haven't used this in a while!" Sharq smiled, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Willie turned to Splin. "So. Uh, what do you got Splin?"

Splin reached into his pockets, a deadpan expression dead on his face. He pulled out a Splat Roller from his shorts.

"What." Splin muttered.

Three Inklings stood in silence, the only sound being the creaking of containers and the two vehicles far from them aimlessly driving.

"...Well, we're going to lose." Splin said, ready to deploy the roller regardless.

"Indeed you are, rivals and co!"

Splin, Sharq, Willie, and Zip stared ahead into the distance. Past rows upon rows of shipping containers was Ari and his ever faithful companions, Sari, Rit, and Bas, all looking ready to fight, or at least ready to pose ever dramatically, the females looking like they were frozen in swooning while Ari held his left hand in an "L" symbol above his forehead, holding a Carbon Roller behind his back as if he were some sort of ninja. They were dyed in a fantastic dark green, shining under the light.

"This is a stroke of luck! I've been waiting to challenge you once more, rivals!" Ari challenged.

"Yeah! Ari got dumped extremely hard and he needs to vent his frustrations on you!" Sari piped up.

Ari's pose faltered somewhat, a shade of sorts wrapping around his face.

"Uh...sorry, was that not the type of drama effect you were going for…?" Sari asked, inspecting Ari.

Ari blinked, then shook his head, forging a determined expression on his face. "I-Ignore Sari, she's been in the practice of joking."

Sari rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. "R-Right."

Bas and Rit coughed awkwardly, watching the clouds roll by over them.

"Yeah…" The two other Inklings murmured.

Willie cringed. "Ouch, man."

"That's harsh. We can just leave if you want." Zip suggested.

Ari frowned, shaking off a tear. "That doesn't matter anyway! I'm here to defeat you to get my mind off of my hopes and regrets!"

Upon saying that, Ari took his Carbon Roller and raised it in front of his face. Splin glanced at the other three, quietly inspecting them. To everyone's surprise, the other three also somehow revealed hidden Splat Rollers.

"What do you think of our arsenal? Our skills with rollers are unparalleled!" Ari laughed.

The other four blinked. They too unsheathed their rollers, albeit with blank faces. Ari's team froze, adopting the same deadpan facial expression.

"Ah." Ari muttered.

"You had to give me a roller, huh Sharq?" Splin sighed.

A bead of blue dripped down Sharq's forehead. "Y-Yeah. My original plan was to have our other teammates use ranged weapons, but…"

Zip lightly smacked herself on the forehead. "Looks like we weren't the only ones then."

Willie grinned, albeit with a hint of nervousness. "Well, no worries! At least it's an even playing field."

Ari laughed. "Even?! The only ones equal in skill to me are my rivals! My three squadmates' skills greatly outnumber yours!"

"Listen man, are we going to fight yet or…?" Zip asked, shrugging.

Ari's eye twitched. He crossed his arms. "We have to wait for the referee."

A pudgy shadow appeared. Standing behind a glass wall, Judd watched the Inklings from behind the barrier. He waved, holding a whistle in his paws.

"You're the one who signals the start of the match?" Splin asked.

"Thought it was some sort of automatic system." Willie said.

Judd shrugged. "Nya. (Nah. The system purr-roke, it was found burnt to a crisp.)"

Judd's eyes seemed to look over the brothers for a moment, then stopped, Judd closing his eyes.

"Meow. (I'll just have to start the match meow-nually.)" Judd announced. "(As soon as I blow this whistle, you kids have to kill each other.)"

Everyone went silent.

"Mrow. (Whoops, sorry, meant 'krill' or 'splat'. Forgot the mandatory pun.)" Judd said, rubbing the back of his head.

Splin shrugged. "It's all the same, isn't it?"

Sure, if you want to be boring.

Splin grit his teeth, facing the sky. "You stay out of this, voice!"

The silence in Port Mackerel intensified.

"...We can go home, you know." Zip suggested.

"Alright, let's just get this over with." Splin said with a shake of his head. "Ready?"

"Mm-hm." Willie and Zip hummed.

Sharq nodded, staring over towards the four opposing Inklings. Ari laughed heartily, Sari Rit and Bas readying their rollers, smirking. In the distance, Judd nodded, took a deep breath, then attempted to blow the whistle. Nothing but sputtering came out. Judd stopped blowing, eyed the whistle suspiciously, then shook it. For the sake of getting this fil- I mean, totally vital chapter in this story done, the whistle was whisked out of Judd's paws by the wind, where it crumbled into dust and was scattered to the four points of the Earth. Judd stared over at the Inklings, giving them an equally surprised shrug, signaling that they could go.

The eight Inklings took off their spawn points, which began to dim behind them.

"Huh?" Zip murmured.

"Ah! I forgot to mention, I had this match specialized, this is a SUDDEN DEATH match!" Ari announced.

"Seriously?!" Willie gasped, flinging his Dynamo Roller in front of him.

"Indeed! Once a squid is splatted, they're out of the match for good!" Ari explained, as he and his female squadron advanced through the boxes.

Upon hearing that, a miniature Zapfish popped above Splin's head, then fell on his head and gave him a static shock. Rubbing his head after the visual gag gone wrong, Splin began rolling through the boxes, weaving past one of the vehicles, slamming straight into Sari, who also had her roller deployed. The rollers knocked into the Inklings, both of them exploding in a brilliant mix of yellow and green. The two of them popped back up behind Judd, a spawn point dyed with all of the colors of the rainbow set up behind him, the two both returning to their respective dyes of blue and orange. Spying a long bench, the two of them walked over to it, sitting down, watching the rest of the match unfold.

"Aw, Splin?!" Sharq groaned, running ahead.

"Sari?! The cunning…! Splin willing gave his life in order to even the playing field…?!" Ari observed with a shocked tone.

On the bench, Sari stared over at Splin, both of them sitting awkwardly.

"So…" She rubbed the back of her head.

"That was an accident." Splin explained, leaning back on the bench, lying against a shipping container.

"Oh." Sari blinked.

"Honestly I didn't really want to play, though." Splin explained.

Sari nodded, also leaning back. "Why, rough day?"

"Didn't get a lot of sleep last night." Splin said. "...Really...realistic dream."

"What about?" Sari inquired, adjusting her A-R-I headband.

Splin frowned. "...I figured out the meaning of life, I think."

Sari gawked at him for a while. Splin shrugged, the two of them watching the rest of the match.

Sharq and Ari returned their attention towards each other after the double roller catastrophe. The others battled it out amidst the row of boxes, while Sharq had managed to charge his way through the cluster of boxes, meeting Ari in a rectangular area by the green spawn. Zip constantly dodged the large radii of Suction Bombs tossed by Rit and Bas, while flinging back Burst Bombs in between her switches from squid to Inkling. Willie swam through the ink, attempting to catch Bas by surprise, only to be splatted by a much more observant Rit. Willie scowled as he respawned, sitting by Splin.

Willie eyed Splin's headphones curiously. "Hey, what music do you listen to anyway?"

Splin stared up in the air. "Video game OSTs."

"Ah. How do you listen? I don't see a cord or anything." Willie asked.

"Yeah, how does that work? Wireless?" Sari asked.

Splin tilted his head. "Why are you so interested in how these headphones work?"

"You wear them all the time." Sari said.

"Don't we all keep wearing our regular clothing?" Splin asked.

The other two took the time to look down at their apparel.

"Mm." The two of them nodded.

With that said, Splin took out his phone he barely uses, clicked on a few icons, then sat back in his seat, listening to various tunes.

"It's gotta be witchcraft." Willie frowned, tapping the side of Splin's Designer Headphones.

Meanwhile, Sharq was doing a decent job of keeping Ari at bay, going as far as to deploy Squid Beakons randomly as he circled the orange Inkling to bait him into attacking, diving into yellow splotches among the green. Ari constantly flicked his Carbon Roller, growling with every escape the slippery squid made. Zip managed to dodge every attack the other female members of Ari's squad threw at her, hiding amongst the yellow doused on the top of the vehicle. With calculated precision, Rit and Bas tossed up two Suction Bombs on top of the vehicle. Zip came falling down, only to get intercepted by Bas, who managed to nail her with a well-timed splash of ink, splattering Zip. Rit and Bas high-fived each other briefly. Until Sharq came along, fleeing from Ari, rolling and smashing the two, sending them off.

The three female Inklings respawned in orange and yellow, Zip spiraling over to Willie's side, sitting with a thud.

"You left me early, man." Zip teased.

"Sorry. I'll be there for you next time." Willie said with a sigh, kissing her on the cheek.

Rit and Bas sat on both sides of Sari, frowning.

"How'd we get blindsided? He was crawling at us at the pace of a snail." Rit scowled.

"I think it's more of a sea turtle's pace." Bas suggested.

"Why don't you guys talk much?" Zip asked suddenly.

"Huh?" Rit and Bas asked.

"Don't mean to be rude, but how come you're always so quiet?" Zip reiterated. "The most I hear from you is whenever you chant to support Ari or something."

"We let Ari do the talking. He has a nice voice." Rit explained.

"Yeah. The BEST voice." Bas agreed.

Zip blinked. "Really?"

"I mean, he's pretty much the most expressive out of all of us." Sari explained. "Back when Ari and I met Rit and Bas, they didn't really say much, they were kinda shy."

Rit and Bas stared in different directions absentmindedly. Willie and Zip took that with a nod, most of the Inklings going back to watching the battle rage on, Splin staring up at the sky while ink was being hurled. Sharq had been pushed back towards his own spawn, a clear space free of boxes save for a short platform, Ari attempting to corner his rival.

"Hup!" Ari exclaimed, jumping up and flinging his roller towards Sharq.

Sharq shifted into squid form, took a deep breath, then transformed into a kraken, charging straight towards Ari. He jumped into the air, spiraling towards Ari menacingly, Ari simply beating the overgrown squid back with swings of his Carbon Roller.

"Hah, are you seriously going to keep trying? The kraken form has its limits. No matter how many times you jump at me, it's useless rival, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless!" Ari repeated with rapid swings of his roller.

Splin sat by with an indifferent face. Sharq frowned, swimming back, his kraken form soon wearing out. He hid in a puddle of yellow, Ari soon advancing.

Ari smirked, activating his special, his Carbon Roller switched out with a large Inkzooka gun, the barrel aimed towards the puddle Ari had assumed Sharq had hid in. "You're finished, Sharq!"

He pulled the trigger, a tall swirling tornado of green ink launched out, swerving over the puddle.

"Shoot! It was tilted too far up!" Ari cried out.

Before he could launch another shot quickly enough, Sharq hopped out of the puddle of ink, roller raised to strike. Ari gasped, then pulled the trigger again. A thick spray of ink from both sides flew past each other and splatted the two Inklings simultaneously. Upon seeing the explosion of ink, Judd scrambled around, searching the ground. When he realized he didn't have the whistle, he simply whistled using his maw, everyone turning back towards where the spawn point was. Sharq and Ari popped out, each eagerly looking to Judd.

"Alright Judd, who won?!" Sharq asked, Ari's eyes practically pleading the same thing.

Judd shrugged. "Meow, meow. (Well, you all were splatted.)"

"That's good enough for me." Splin said, standing up.

"No, hold on, I couldn't have fought the kraken without purpose! Good Judd, can you judge it on how much turf was covered at least?!" Ari pleaded.

Judd bit his lip, staring out to the colored turf. His eyes narrowed. The cat reached into the fur behind his ear, taking a gold coin out of the tuffs of white. He flipped the coin, rubbed his chin, and clapped his paws.

"Mrow. (Green team wins.)" Judd decided.

Sharq's mouth gaped open. "Wha-"

"Hoorah! Well done everybody! We celebrate our victory tonight!" Ari cheered.

Ari and his squadron left, laughter and cheer following the previously forlorn Inkling's squad. Sharq frowned.

"Darn it! I'll be sure to get him next...time?" Sharq trailed off.

Splin was already walking away, a blank look on his face, hardly responsive.

"Hey, Splin, wait!" Sharq yelled, running after him. He skidded to a halt suddenly, gave a wave towards Willie and Zip, then dashed off again.

Willie and Zip stretched, Judd yawning.

"Mew, meow. (Well, it looks like everyone's taking off. Good meow-tch today, sudden death was certainly interesting.)" Judd said simply.

Judd scampered over boxes, dashing off on all fours. Willie looked over at Zip with a satisfied grin.

"Wanna go home now?" Willie offered.

Zip gave a nod, walking off, Willie staying close by her side. Zip stretched her arms, laying her arm around Willie's shoulders. Willie adjusted his glasses, staring ahead.

"This was a pretty good day off." Willie said simply.

"...Yeah." Zip murmured.

"What's the matter?" Willie asked, worry clear on his face.

"...Did the others seem kinda...down?" Zip asked. "Not all of them seemed really, 'in' in the match, you know?"

Willie blinked. "Uh...well, Ari said something about being dumped…?"

Zip frowned. "I know we've said stuff before, but I feel kinda bad for him. Splin didn't seem too happy either…"

"They're probably just having bad days." Willie suggested.

The couple walked together, the sun setting on the horizon of the water as they left Port Mackerel, Inkopolis already turning on its night lights, attracting the nightlife.

"...Hey, how about we spend some time out on the town tonight? We still have time to make the most of our day off." Willie smirked.

Zip smiled. "Sure."

The two pecked each other on the lips, staying close as they walked through the streets of Inkopolis, their tentacles now glimmering with the light of the buildings of night.

* * *

Ari, Sari, Rit and Bas were smiling and laughing together, all of them sitting at a bar counter in an old fashioned diner of sorts, plates and drinks with dainty straws strewn about, all looking vibrant under the glow of the diner's lights.

"Ha ha! That's amazing! What happened next?" Ari laughed, asking Sari sitting next to him.

Sari snickered before pausing to catch her breath. "Get this- After the president smashed through the walls of his office, he screamed, 'LET'S PARTY' at the top of his lungs! You should've seen it!"

"Haaaaa!" Ari smiled, almost out of breath. "Aw Sari, you know how to tell the best stories!"

Sari smiled. "I aim to please, Ari."

Rit grinned. "Forgot about that rejection yet, Ari?"

Ari beamed. "That silly issue? Thing of the past! Hardly on my mind!"

Bas slapped Ari on the back proudly. "That's our leader!"

But what they didn't realize, was that I actually didn't forget. I was just hungry and sad. That isn't to say that I didn't find Sari's story unfunny or anything-

"We're glad you're okay Ari." Sari smiled warmly.

Uh, plus, I just didn't want Sari to worry. Heh heh.

Ari smiled. "I'm glad too."

* * *

Finally, late at night, Splin was up, staring up at the ceiling. The lights were off, Sharq's hat was lying next to his bed. Maria was sound asleep, dreaming of days past and her children. Splin however, couldn't shake this feeling of dread- Not a devilish feeling of dread, mind you, but not one that would be considered angelic either, just a feeling of dread. And foreboding. And deep thoughts. So Splin laid awake, eyes wide open, staring at the hole in the ceiling, his headphones still wrapped around his neck. He stared down at his headphones for a moment.

For a brief moment. His headphones didn't look like headphones. They looked like blocks of blue. They certainly didn't feel like headphones anymore. Splin quickly shook his head, breathing heavily. He looked down again. Nothing but normal, everyday headphones. Quickly, he took his headphones off and tossed them to the floor, laid in his bed, and closed his eyes, shivering slightly. On the floor, his headphones sparked, flashed, and jittered, before they laid dormant, hardly an indication of what happened beforehand.

* * *

AN: Exposition, not really though.

Thanks Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, and write n wrong for reviewing. Dread Angel, Inkbrush and Nozzlenose spamming is the key. To getting top player, I guess. Not really worth it though. :\ Ultrapyre, I have to agree, on the Callie thing that is. I wouldn't leave dear Ari to die a virgin, (but I probably would have Splin) but then again I'm not really feeling the whole, "detail love between squid and octopus" thing. Oh well, guess he'll have to do it offscreen or something. write n wrong, thanks for your inspiring words, if Ari could hear I'm sure he'd be rather glad.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to go to sleep.

...Yep.


	24. The Brothers and the Burger Cure

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Helping A Brother Out**

Maria glanced at Sharq, staring into the Bate household from outside. An air of tension was about the two, the house looking much more drab than usual.

"Is he okay?" Sharq asked, sitting on the grass with worried expression.

Maria peered through the window, minding the sharp shards sticking up at her. Splin was moping on his bed, facing away from the windows and anything else with light or happiness. Maria frowned, taking her Golf Visor off her head, respectfully holding it close to her chest.

"I'm...sorry Sharq. I'm afraid I have some bad news." Maria told Sharq, barely looking him in the eyes.

"What…?" Sharq asked.

Maria closed her eyes. "Now, I want you to take a deep breath. I'm not sure you're going to like hearing this."

Sharq's pupils shrank. "What…?! What is it?!"

Maria's eyes shot open. "Splin's grown into a...teenager."

Sharq began tearing up, collapsing to the ground. "Nooooo! Not Splin! Why?! Take me instead!"

Maria sighed, placing a hand on her hip. "Yep, he's growing older. C-Calm down Sharq, it isn't that bad."

"But now he'll be filled with angst all the time and won't want to hang out with me anymore! This is terrible!" Sharq cried out.

Maria couldn't help but stifle a giggle. "Sharq, it isn't that bad. I've taken care of two teenagers, and they ended up fine."

Sharq bit his lip, staring over at Splin through the windows. "They're still friends…"

"Exactly. Sorry I had to make it seem so dramatic." Maria laughed softly. "But Splin will be fine."

Sharq stared through the window teary eyed. Splin blinked, a frown on his face. He immediately glanced in the direction of Sharq, who ducked out of sight. Splin bit his lip, before going back to staring at the ceiling pointlessly. Sharq stared back at Splin, his Takoroka Mesh cap tilted to the point where the shade from the hat seemed to cover his expression.

"..." Sharq remained silent.

"...We just have to give him some space, Sharq." Maria said, patting him on the back. "C'mon, we can go get lunch if you want."

Sharq looked back at the house, before nodding solemnly. "Okay…" Then his expression lit up his face. "Let's go get Splin some food!"

Sharq then dashed off, leaving Maria in the dust. She blinked, shocked at Sharq's swiftness, before smirking.

"Right behind you Sharq!" She grinned, following after him in a green squid form.

* * *

As the two older squids went off to procure a meal, Splin continued to stare at the ceiling. Despite Maria's assumption on his body going through strange changes, it didn't have to do with the horrible process of aging. In actuality Splin was terrified. The clouds above him looked rather...undeveloped. They looked like flat pieces of white, hardly passable for clouds.

"Beep."

"!" Splin flung himself out of bed, ducking underneath the frame as a blue squid, breathing in and out deeply.

Splin cautiously left his bed, glancing to and fro for the source of the sound. Eventually his eyes tracked the alarm clock, which sat on top of the dresser in between his and his brother's beds. The alarm clock ticked away at the seconds, "gazing" at Splin curiously with its semi-lit screen. Splin sighed in relief.

"Oh thank goodness, alarm clock, it's just you. Something really strange is happening." Splin said, glancing around the room.

The alarm clock beeped in a questioning tone. Splin finished breathing in and out like a maniac, taking a moment to look around his house. He sighed in relief, turning around to his bed, coming face to face with a Super Sea Snail.

"Whagh!" Splin nearly screamed, backing away.

The Super Sea Snail's little eyes lit up in shock, rolling backwards as well. The two sat staring at each other. The snail seemed to blink out of existence every so often, flickering and flashing, only freaking out Splin more.

"S-Salty? Is that-" Splin asked, reaching out for the snail.

The Super Sea Snail shivered, attempting to retreat into its shell. Splin blinked, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. The snail peeked its eyes out, colors of vivid light blue and pink dancing around its shell wildly.

"Heh heh...hahaha." Splin began laughing, tearing up at the eyes a little.

The snail blinked, staring at Splin worriedly. Splin began laughing hysterically, covering his eyes with his hands.

"Hahahahahaha!" Splin began coughing, the laughter turning into sobs into the palms of his hands.

The snail gave Splin a sympathetic look. Doing its best, it hopped over to nudge Splin's legs, nuzzling Splin carefully.

Splin blinked, staring down at the snail with a sad smile on his face. "That's it. I've lost it. I've FINALLY lost it."

The Super Sea Snail tilted in confusion at Splin's hysterics. Splin sniffled.

"Sorry...Salty or not, I suppose you wouldn't really take kindly to someone breaking down like a s-sociopath, huh?" Splin asked the snail, which shook its head. "...For all I know, you could be a delusional figment of my imagination."

All the little snail could do was blink at Splin's oddities. Splin wiped his eyes, shaking his head.

"Alright Splin, calm down...voice, I'm not going insane, am I?" Splin asked to the air, the snail following his gaze curiously.

I dunno, ask the weirded out snail.

Splin blinked, staring down at the arguably illusional snail. If the snail had any eyebrows, it would most likely be arching one at the little brother's peculiarities. Splin sighed, petting the snail on the shell, which it warmly welcomed despite its skepticism. Suddenly, the snail turned around, tuning into some otherworldly force.

"What is it?" Splin asked.

His ears twitched. Very briefly, he swore he could hear a cheery female's voice. Suddenly, the snail lit up, hopping away. Halting mid hop, it stared back at Splin. Splin could only wave to the snail as it began fading into nothing, as if it were vanishing in the distance. Eventually, Splin stopped waving, glancing over at the alarm clock. The alarm clock gave him an "odd look", but shrugged it off, obviously not a care for the mental stability of a fourteen year-old.

"...Yeah, thanks for looking out for me." Splin scoffed sarcastically.

The alarm clock gave a welcoming chime. Splin got to his feet, stretching his arms. He looked to the kitchen counter. Blinking, he realized that Ann-Gel and Tele-Cube, for better or worse, hadn't witnessed his odd breakdown, both resting, Ann-Gel napping on the side of the cube, which glowed peacefully. Splin bit his lip, staring outside. The day was clear, with very few clouds in the sky.

" _...I suppose now would be a good time to take a breath of fresh air."_ Splin thought to himself.

Carefully, Splin walked out of the house, opening the door. As soon as he took a whiff of the sweet hill air, he knew he made a mistake.

" _Wha- Okay, Splin, stop it."_ He mentally scolded himself, dropping to the grass. _"You're not dizzy or anything. Stand up and-"_

Splin hit the grass with a soft thud, the only sound heard being the wind blowing past his ears.

" _OH FOR THE LOVE OF-"_ Was Splin's last thoughts before he drifted into unconsciousness.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sharq was holding a bag of fast food over his head, wobbling as you attempted to keep it steady. Maria followed behind, carefully watching over Sharq.

"Maria, our first priority is to get home to Splin! He's been a teenager for too long!" Sharq announced.

Maria shook her head with a sigh. "Sharq, I appreciate your concern, but Splin's probably fine. Look, he just needs a little space. It was nice of you to buy food for him-"

"Oh no, this is for all of us." Sharq told Maria, reaching into the brown bag.

Sharq pulled out five other bags from the first, larger bag, all containing matters of food. Out of one of the smaller bags, Sharq pulled out a sandwich, munching into it, offering a bag to Maria as he snacked. Maria accepted, but continued:

"But it's not always healthy to constantly look out for your brother like that." Maria rubbed the back of his head with a calm smile. "Ix didn't follow around his sister all his life. He had to settle down himself and let her sister be her sister."

Sharq pouted. "But they have superpowers!"

Maria tilted her head. "What's your point?"

"They- Um...well, I wanted to make a point, but…" Sharq trailed off, shrugging. "...I dunno. I guess you could be right."

"Trust me, unless he's suffering from some sort of disease or something, he'll be perfectly fine." Maria told him. "Now let's get home."

Sharq nodded happily. "Right!"

Both of the Inklings switched into squids, Sharq firmly grasping the paper bags filled with food, Maria sneaking in a bite before the jump with a pleased face. The two jetted off into sky with a burst of blue and green respectively, traveling through the sky and clouds as they approached the hills. Sharq managed to land first, a cloud of dirt billowing up from the grassy hill segment he managed to smash into. Sharq coughed, waving as to clear some of the dust out of his vision and lungs. Then his eyes widened. Splin laid on the ground face first, coughing.

"Splin!" Sharq gasped, running over to his younger brother.

Surprisingly, Splin raised a hand high, signaling that he was alright. "...Sharq."

"Oh, you're alright! Listen, I think I found a cure to your teenager disease! Then you won't have to be so edgy and angsty all the time!" Sharq grinned.

Splin got to his feet, though groggily and with tired eyes. "...You realize you're just stereotyping teenage squids at this point, right? You're literally one year older than me, I'm pretty sure-"

"No time! Eat this!" Sharq shouted, shoving a paper bag in his face.

Now, at this point, Splin was skeptical of Sharq's "medical expertise". He downright knew that Sharq wouldn't "cure" him, not by a longshot. The fact that his vision was blinking and the skies and ground looked like they were ripped straight out of a corrupted video game to him wasn't too motivating either. Still, Splin reached into the bag. Something in a wrapper blinked around his hand. Carefully, Splin unwrapped the curious item, finding:

A cheeseburger.

Splin frowned, glancing up at Sharq, who was grinning, the older brother winking down at his younger counterpart. Splin blinked, and, figuring it wouldn't hurt, bit into the meal.

The world spontaneously seemed to realize its folly, everything reverting to normal, grass and skies dyed with green and blue seemingly instantaneously around Splin.

Splin looked around. "...Yeah, okay, well...that worked."

Sharq cheered, hugging Splin with a swift spin. "Yipee! It worked! Eat that, aging!"

Splin could only shake his head at his brother's absurdities. How ironic.

Splin frowned at the sky. "Hey, voice, I didn't see YOU help."

That's because I can't conjure up food genius. I mean, not directly.

"I'm just glad Splin's okay…" Sharq said, hugging his brother.

"Okay, Sharq, stop, you're going to squeeze my stomach and no one's going to be happy if you crush it." Splin explained with a mild wheeze.

Sharq let go, sighing. "Right, right, sorry."

"No, no, it's fine, just don't- Let me finish my food please."

"Right, gotcha."

After that...conversation, Maria came barreling from the sky straight on top of the house, skidding to a halt, the ceiling remaining in one piece rather spectacularly. Maria sighed, reaching into the bag, eating what appeared to be a sliced piece of zucchini from out of the bag.

"So, Sharq, did you 'cure' Splin's teenage disease?" Maria asked, staring down at the two.

"...Yes, actually." Splin told her.

Maria blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah. Turns out I was just hungry." Splin replied with a shrug.

"Ah." Maria nodded. "Looks like you weren't wrong Sharq."

"Hoorah! The aging process is weak against the power of food!" Sharq cheered to himself.

Splin adjusted his headphones with a sigh. "Sharq, that doesn't mean the problem afflicting me was necessarily aging-"

"Hm?" Sharq paused, glancing over at Splin.

"Maybe it was something different. Something much more complicated and much more terrifying than simple hunger or aging...something horrid." Splin muttered.

The others stared at Splin. Sharq's pupils shrank.

"OH NO! Splin IS becoming a teenager! The food didn't help at all!" Sharq cried out.

Splin blinked. "No, Sharq, I was just-"

Sharq didn't take no for an answer, picking up Splin, charging into the house, pushing open the doors. Maria descending down the stairs into the house. Sharq laid Splin down on his bed, took off his headphones, placing it to the side, then began rapidly wrapping Splin in his blankets.

"Alright, that should contain you! Get some rest Splin, you'll be better in the morning…" Sharq sniffed. "Hopefully."

Sharq began walking off. Maria walked past him, greeting Splin, who was struggling to keep his head out of the covers.

"You okay Splin? I can try to talk some sense into him." Maria said with a smile.

Splin sighed. "No need Maria, this will probably blow over by the tomorrow. Sharq's looking out for me. Albeit...questionably."

The two Inklings glanced over at Sharq, who was rapidly collecting ice cubes from the refrigerator. He placed them on a countertop, then searched in one of the counters, pulling out a small plastic bag. He went back to catch the ice cubes, only to realize that most of them had already melted. Sharq then proceeded to flop around as a squid hysterically. Maria turned back to Splin.

"You're going to be fine though, right?" Maria asked with a hopeful smile.

"Yes. Thanks." Splin told Maria.

Maria rubbed Splin's forehead gently, allowing him to rest, Maria leaving his bedside to sit in the kitchen by the table, Maria laying her arm on the counter next to Ann-Gel and the Tele-Cube, the force enough to awaken the two inanimate objects. Which, in retrospect, not that difficult, Ann-Gel stretching her little figurine arms, the cube making a computer start-up sound.

"...Mmm. Morning Maria." Ann-Gel yawned.

Maria stared across the house at the alarm clock. "It's actually twelve o'clock, but good morning anyways."

As the two females conversed with each other across the house, Ann-Gel surprised at her length of slumber, Splin laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He sighed, his tentacles brushing up against the pillow he laid back on.

How are you feeling, squid kid?

"...Disorientated." Splin spoke up.

Well, don't be. You'll be fine.

"I saw a phantom Salty." Splin said.

And you're talking to a disembodied voice.

"That excuse is going to grow old quick, you know." Splin replied with a smirk.

Maybe it will be. By the by, I've got something for you.

From the hole in the ceiling, a paper card floated down onto Splin's bed. The front of it read, "Get well soon" with a squid drawn on it, a thermometer attached to its presumed mouth.

Splin grinned. "...Thanks voice."

Anytime.

Splin rested on his bed, staring up at the normal sky. As he closed his eyes, they could be seen flickering ever so gently in different hues of colors, but Splin was too occupied with drifting off to sleep, letting the world sort out its own bugs.

* * *

AN: Rather late for an update, isn't it? Oh well. I'm just all excited because I finally got to replace my poor old sad dying 3DS with a brand spanking new one. Other than that, hope you all out there are doing well, I guess. This chapter was more of a nod to one of my other stories honestly, but I'll be sure to work on this story more, maybe establish an actual plot line, who knows?

Aside from pointless life updates, let's hop to those reviews! Thanks Ultrapyre and write n wrong for reviwing! Ultrapyre, thanks for your studious criticism as always, I'll work on separating these blocks of text more. write n wrong, who knows? Maybe she shall…

But hey, that's just the brothers. And the others. Thanks for wa- reading.

(I'm never doing that again. Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle. Off to play Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate.)


	25. BroBro's Bizarre Adventures

**Splatoon: BroBro's Bizarre Adventure: Also known as the JoJo April Fool's Parody Chapter  
**

 **WRRRRRRRYYYYY!**

Sharqathan Batestar breathed in and out deeply, his eyebrows narrowed in anger, his arms ripped and scarred. Splino Bato, his supposed brother stood in front of him, taunting him with a calm yet intimidating expression, the two posing dramatically over a dark balcony, the stars blinking above them. Splin's vampiric claws were folded neatly. Behind them, a spectator watched with bated breath.

Mariawagon, her black and white top hat tilted down, staring at the two manly Inklings with incredulous, terrified eyes, sweating profusely. "Sharq's expelling the reference extract…! He hasn't given up yet!"

After Mariawagon's astute yet somewhat unnecessary observation, Sharqathan raised his fists, dark blue ink rippling around them, his breath turning to steam in the chilly night air, his muscles growing ever defined with his battle stance. Splino laughed condescendingly, standing on one of his legs, glaring back at Sharqathan, a ghostly aura growing around him.

"Why so serious? Are you seriously going to keep struggling?" Splino taunted, Sharqathan grunting in response.

Splino scoffed, grinning evilly, showing off his devilish fangs. "No matter how many strength power-ups you stack on your gear, Inkling effort has its limits. No matter how much common sense you use;"

Splino's eyes blood veins seemed to intensify.

"It's USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS! Could a Super Sea Snail fight a man?!"

Sharqathan answered that by picking up a nearby Salty, who sat there minding its own business. Sharqathan's fist glowed, setting Salty's shell alight. Sharqathan then proceeded to knock off Splino's head off using his Super Sea Snail Overdrive attack, sending Splino falling off the edge of the balcony, where he "died" instantly until two parts later in the series where he...you know what, that's a spoiler, I'm just going to end it here.

* * *

Author's...You know what, this was really not a good idea. Not only I am probably going to get copyright claimed double teamed by both Nintendo, DavidProuctions, and maybe Araki, I'm going to get flack from the readers as well. This was all a mistake, brb, erasing this story. gg world.

("Real" Chapter coming right after this one)


	26. Silly Goose

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Silly Goose (And Pirah)**

Phish sat at home, relaxing contently on the staircase leading up to the roof. He currently was engaged in the age old pastime of wasting his days trying to play a video game. Phish stared towards the ceiling with an indifferent look.

"Not even gonna let you underneath my skin." Phish commented, focusing on the little box he was playing on.

Phish appeared to be playing on some sort of primitive game system the apes used originally to bash rocks with.

"It's called a Splatendo DS." Phish scowled.

Enlighten us.

"Dual Splash?" Phish smirked and flashed it towards the ceiling proudly. "First handheld console with two screens based on an old artifact the ancients before us used. It's just a prototype, but-"

Goodness, you're quite the video game geek, ain't ya?

Phish rolled his eyes. "Whatever, voice. I'm just going to beat this level and get this last Power Seastar. Not even you, nor a meteorite could stop me from enjoying time off."

Whatever you say there.

Phish just rolled his eyes and glared down at the screen. He tapped buttons and the bottom screen from time to time. played and played, hours passing by marked with the beeping of an alarm clock, until finally…

Phish's character in-game spun around, flaunting a seastar as the screen faded to black.

"Yes!" Phish grinned. "Well, I suppose that's enough for today."

Phish stretched his arms in the air and slid down the steps as a squid, carrying the DS between his tentacles. He slid off to his bed through the sleek wooden floor, reverting to humanoid form with a yawn. Spying his bed's comforting sheets, he made his way rather proudly, taking a seat on the soft mattress, before drifting underneath with a sigh. Then Pirah came in and ruined everything.

Phish felt something smash into his gut. "Gwah!"

A blue squid looked up at Phish, transforming quickly into Pirah, who sat on Phish's stomach innocently. "Hi Phish!"

"F-First my sides...now THIS?!" Phish shouted up at her.

Pirah hopped off of Phish's stomach with a sheepish grin, Phish gritting his teeth in anger. Before he could say anything, Pirah reached into her pockets, bringing out a small box.

"Hey, hey. Calm down." Pirah said with a smile.

"Calm down?! What are you-" Phish stared down at the box. "Eh?"

Pirah stared up at Phish with hopeful eyes, her eyes darting back and forth towards the box and Phish.

"Phish…" Pirah began, gazing longingly up into his eyes.

"Uh oh." Phish looked away nervously, before adjusting his tie, taking occasional glances at Pirah as he did so. "I think I know where this is headed. Pirah, look, you're a nice girl and all-"

"Can you help me open this box I found?" Pirah asked sweetly, with a completely innocent look.

Phish blinked, immediately blushing a vivid shade of violet at his mistake. "Oh. Uh...sure."

Phish began walking away towards his kitchen counter. After a brief search around, he managed to find a butter knife.

"...Well...it'll do." Phish decided, walking over to Pirah.

Phish sat on his bed, gesturing for Pirah to hand over the box. She gladly obliged, giving it to Phish with a smile.

"Where'd you find the box?" Phish asked, jamming the knife in between the small gap of the box, slowly wedging it open.

"A nice guy gave it to me." Pirah said.

Phish stopped working on the box and looked up at Pirah. "What."

Pirah smiled. "Yeah! He was really nice, he was dressed in a suit and everything!"

"Ah." Phish blinked, staring at the ground. "So, what, did he happen to be kneeling to you or…?"

Pirah gasped in shock, lightly slugging Phish on the arm. "How did you know?"

Phish didn't know what he was more surprised at. The fact that Pirah didn't understand what a proposal was or the fact that someone decided to propose to someone who didn't know the basic rights of marriage. Still, he persevered, despite the fact that Pirah was nothing more than a bumbling id-

Goodness gracious, who writes this? How rude.

"...Wow. That was so funny, I forgot to laugh." Phish scoffed with a smirk.

Jokes on you casanova.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Phish's eyes narrowed.

"Phish, the box?" Pirah reminded him.

"Ah, right." Phish muttered, wiggling the knife under the box.

After a few minutes of Phish silently questioning Pirah's naive lifestyle, aforementioned woman sitting by on the floor eagerly watching Phish open the little box, a small clicking sound. Phish glanced over at Pirah for the "OK" to open, which she nodded happily at. Phish glanced down at the box, lifted the lid, and blinked. A crumbled up piece of paper was inside.

"...Pirah, what is this?" Phish asked, eyeing it cautiously.

"Tada! It's my gift to you for spending all this time with me!" Pirah said, standing up.

"You said you got this from a man." Phish cocked an eyebrow.

"I lied!" Pirah told him outright.

A gust of wind blew into the house from the roof, creating a lonely sound as it passed by Phish, who just sat there in silence.

"Uh...huh." Phish said, putting the box to the side. "Thanks I guess."

Pirah scowled. "Hey! You're supposed to unwrinkle the paper and read it!"

Phish stared at Pirah. She crossed her arms and pouted like a kid.

"...Aren't you supposed to act like an adult?" Phish blinked, staring at the gift.

"Aren't you supposed to be...not...lame?" Pirah stuttered, a bead of sweat running down her face. "Darn, I can't think of anything…"

Phish rolled his eyes, picking out the paper from the box. He carefully unfolded it, rubbing out most of the crinkles he could. The paper exploded in his face, releasing blue ink.

"..." Behind the coat of blue, Phish was not happy.

"Hahaha! That was amazing!" Pirah laughed. "Waited so long to prank you like that! Happy April Pool's Day!"

"...Well, good job." Phish muttered, using the sheet of paper to wipe his face.

Pirah froze, waving her arms in alarm. "Wait wait wait! You're not supposed to use the paper to wipe your face, stop!"

Out of pure curiosity, Phish stopped. On top of the piece of paper was a shimmering coin. Phish picked the coin off of the paper, feeling it in his hand. It felt oddly soft. Phish wrapped his hand around the coin, feeling at the bottom, realizing that there was a tear in the coin. Phish unwrapped the coin from its wrapper, revealing a circular piece of chocolate stamped with a gold coin insignia.

"...Chocolate." Phish muttered. "You douse me with ink, then you give me chocolate."

Pirah looked to the side, adjusting her Black Arrowbands glasses, a glint of light shining off them briefly. "Y-Yeah. That was my actual gift."

"...Thanks." Phish said, popping the chocolate into his mouth.

He then walked over to his kitchen, the ink dripping from his face. He made it to the kitchen sink, where he turned the faucet on with a flick of his hand, a steady stream of water pouring out. He folded his hands as to catch water, then flicked it into his face as to wash away the ink, blue pouring down the sink.

Pirah stood up, awkwardly standing behind him. "...So...um, yeah. That was my joke."

"Mm." Phish muttered, wiping his face.

"...Yep." Pirah said, leaning on Phish's bed.

The only noise that could be heard was the running of the faucet. Eventually, Phish turned off the faucet, letting the water drip off his face. Pirah watched him carefully, Phish walking over to his bed, the two staring at each other.

"Any other tricks you want to pull?" Phish asked, hands boredly stationed on his cheeks.

"No." Pirah said, staring at the ground.

"Good." Phish muttered.

"But there's still one last thing I want to give you." Pirah spoke up.

"What's that-" Phish began, cut off by Pirah wrapping her arms around him.

Pirah hugged Phish, letting her head lie on his shoulders, the Inklings staying like that for a while.

"...Pirah?" Phish piped up after a solid three minutes.

"...Just wanted to give you one last gift. I thought...you know, you'd be lonely up here by yourself." Pirah smiled, breaking the hug briefly, staring at Phish.

Phish blushed, turning away from Pirah. "Yeah, well, I'm doing fine, thanks."

"You're sure?" Pirah asked with a tinge of worry.

Phish sighed, nodding, lying back on his bed. "Yep. Fine."

"Well, okay. But just to let you know," Pirah said, standing up. "I'll always be there for you when you need me, even if you don't want me to!"

Phish blinked, sitting up, gawking at Pirah. Pirah began walking off out of the house. With a swift turn around, she gave a smile and a nod to Phish, who could only wave back awkwardly. She switched to a blue squid, closing the door behind her with a swift slap of the tentacles, Super Jumping off into the sky as she left. After she left, Phish laid his chin on the palms of his hands, with a semi-bewildered yet calm expression.

" _...That girl."_ Phish thought to himself. _"Cod, she's so strange."_

* * *

A blue squid with a tinge of blue on her face flew away, grinning happily, hopping about like a madwoman.

 _"Phish is the best, I hope we'll be friends for as long as...forever? I dunno!"_ She thought to herself.

Unfortunately for dear Pirah, due to her being lost in thoughts (all alone might I add), she didn't watch where she was flying, and slammed into the side of a building, sliding down with a pained yet happy grunt.

* * *

AN: I guess since this is April Fool's Day this chapter is shorter than the others. April Fools, did I get you with the joke?!onequestionmark- Ah forget it, April Fool's Day isn't my cup of tea. Hope you people out there are having fun at least.

Aside from that, let's move on to reviews. Thanks Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, and write n wrong for reviewing! Don't worry Dread, we forget things from time to time…

Anyways, now that that's over with- Oh, whoops, hang on…

Uh, Ultrapyre, the whole Salty situation is really up to you, as you have the Salty aforementioned in your own story. Who knows? Maybe Salty is just coincidentally missing. Maybe it's just hopping from dimensions to and fro. You be the judge. write n wrong, thanks once more, the world of Monster Hunter seems like an interesting idea, but I'd feel like the more direct references get, I'd have to make a completely different story for that altogether. Still, who knows? Maybe the brothers will have to tussle with a Rathalos sometime in the near future!

Thanks for reading as always, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to write a Xenoblade Chronicles X story! ...And a Fire Emblem Fates story...and every single other story I've procrastinated on. Huh. I've got quite the long road ahead of me, it seems. Probably should've used that time off of school to actually write stuff. Well, see ya next time on whatever story I update.


	27. Octo-Bunk Buddies

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Octo-Bunk Buddies**

Octolings, Octocopters, and Octotroopers alike clustered about the Octarian HQ's rec room, jamming into already crowded booths and tables, some squabbling among themselves. DJ Octavio, garbed in his samurai helm as always, stood in front of all of them. In his giant robot turntable mech of course. Octavio attempted to clear his throat, so he raised his tentacle in front of his mouth as if to absorb his coughs.

* * *

On the "surface" of Octo Valley, a robot fist erupted from the earth, startling birds and Cap'n Cuttlefish, both of whom fled from the scene as fast as they could.

* * *

To say that no one could take their eyes off of the glaring robot fist in the ceiling was an understatement. Shrapnel fell off the ceiling as if they were icicles in spring. Except less cold, equally as sharp. The Octarians, despite the accidental destruction of their own base, looked to Octavio, eager to continue listening.

"Er, right, well, moving on-" Octavio grunted, ripping his robot fist out of the top, light streaming in.

The only sound, aside from the scraping of metal and the bouncing of a certain Zapfish in the back of the room, were coughs from the Octarians.

Octavio sighed. "I'm sure you are all very aware that at this point, we haven't made a move on reclaiming our surface lands."

Murmuring and bickering ensued among the crowd, a few Octolings going as far as to reach for their holstered Octoshots. DJ Octavio glared at the crowd, quickly spinning on one of his turntable's records, sending a scratching noise throughout the crowd.

"Calm down! Look, I know that it's not a great lifestyle. But that's what I've come to you all today to ask of you. As you know, our military might has been scratched up, and with a lack of aggression between us and the Inklings, we can only put our technologies to another use…" DJ Octavio cleared his throat. "Expansion."

The octopi in the room calmed down, staring ahead with interest.

"The rock formations are ripe for potential new housing, kettles by the dozen can be set up with the right technology. You are all aware of the new Skell machine that we've constructed with reference from an old Sunken Sea Scroll of years past, right?" Octavio asked the crowd.

Several Octolings and Octotroopers in the crowd rubbed bruises and scars instinctively, grumbling to themselves.

"With the very same technology based on the blueprints of the Skell we salvaged, I believe we have the ability to expand our underground empire twofold." Octavio spoke calmly. "It's a plan that will take up a lot of down time to finish. But with your support, I believe that we have the capability to make Octo Valley even fresher than Inkopolis above. Who's with me?"

For a moment, Octavio mentally braced himself; the Octolings around here were generally temperamental when it came to touchy subjects such as expansion. However, the octopi soldiers seemed generally pleased with this idea, some clapping at the prospect of expansion. Octavio smiled, wiping his octopus brow using one of his tentacles, his mech mirroring his hand movement.

"...Is that it? Seriously?!" A voice called out from the crowd.

DJ Octavio sighed, closing his eyes. "T-41?"

A small octopus jetted out of the crowd, Super Jumped in front of Octavio, and grabbed Octavio by his collar. Technically his octopus skin, but in a way that would suggest she's infuriated and is giving the octopus a stern, classic human talking to.

"Out of all of the stupid things you could've discussed, you did nothing to help us, or me, for that matter." Tai spoke through gritted teeth.

"...What's wrong now?" Octavio asked.

"Do you recall a certain robot tearing through the hall where the Octoling bunks were at?" Tai asked.

Octavio nodded. "Yes, the repair crew is working on it. What's your point?"

"The repair crew has off today. Most of the rooms were fixed." Tai told him, still steaming.

"...I don't see the problem." Octavio admitted.

"Clam right you don't! My bunk is the only one that still hasn't been fixed yet!" Tai shouted.

"...Oh." Octavio muttered. "Well, T-41-"

"Enough with the codename bullshrimp, everyone already knows everyone here. What's the point?" Tai asked.

The octopi in the crowd nodded and murmured in agreement. DJ Octavio rolled his eyes.

"Tai. If they're off today, then you'll just have to wait until-"

A loud smack resonated throughout the base. Octavio's eyes were wide open, as was Tai's palm. A scorching red mark in the shape of a hand was left on Octavio's face. The crowd mirrored their leader, everyone staring with wide eyes, or in the case of the one-eyed Octoball, eye.

"...Uh, yeah, yeah, well I think we can work something out." Octavio muttered, rubbing his cheek. Octavio cleared his throat, looking towards the crowd. "As you can see, T-4- Tai is in need of a place to stay. Any volunteers."

The room went silent. Even Shockwhisk, the bouncing Zapfish in the back who powered the Octarian base, began filing out of the room with tremendous speed, some pushing past ceiling debris, desperate to escape, leaving only a handful of Octarians at a table, two Octolings and an Octocopter.

"Hey, you know, I think it's lunchtime!" The Octocopter reminded himself, flying off.

"J3r-ry, get back here!" One of the Octolings shouted.

"Aussie, Chi, we already have a lot on our plate, so do us all a favor and have Tai rest in one of your bunks for the time being." Octavio told the two of them.

"...Uh." Aussie muttered.

Chi seemed blush at the prospect. Octavio sighed, pinching the bridge of his "nose" with his hands. Octavio squawked, removing his large robot hand from his face, taking his tentacles and rubbing the self-inflicted wound.

"Just- Just decide between you two- Ow. I have to get an ice pack and check on the Skell." Octavio said, waving them off.

As Octavio hovered off and out of the room, Aussie and Chi glared at each other. Tai sat on the stage Octavio had previously hovered over, blowing her head tentacles up boredly.

"You take her." Chi pleaded.

"C-H1, you know very well that I'm not going to bunk with that she-devil." Aussie frowned, the lights in her Octoling Goggles flashing menacingly.

"What?! She's your friend Aussie, c'mon! Besides, I still haven't...cleaned my room since I...uh, left the HQ." Chi stammered.

Aussie scoffed. "Is that so? I will NOT tolerate T-41's annoying habits."

"What 'habits'?" Chi pried.

* * *

With every single slam against the wall Tai made, Aussie slowly and slowly lost her sanity. Gripping her pillow, Aussie could only shove her head into the pillow, screaming in increased discomfort with every slam.

* * *

Aussie gazed horrified off into the distance, then shook her head as to clear her mind. "Regardless, I am not going to let her keep me up all night with her incessant racket!"

"Aussie, really, how annoying is slamming a blob of ink on the wall? It's a basic sport." Chi told her with a shrug.

"Okay, YOU take her in then." Aussie demanded.

Chi backed away, her chair scraping against the metal with a harsh sound. "Are you kidding?! Not after last time, no!"

* * *

Tai and Chi were gearing up in Chi's bunk, clothing themselves and grabbing their weapons, Tai draping her Octoling Goggles around her neck boredly. An alarm sounded out through the base, blaring. Chi was actually just leaving her bed, covering herself as best as she could using her bedsheets, stumbling over a blanket and pillow left on the ground.

"Let's get going, rook, Aussie's waiting." Tai told Chi. "Thanks for letting me stay the night too, she can be a real pain in the butt sometimes."

"Right, right." Chi muttered, fumbling for her clothes.

"By the way, thanks in advance for letting me borrow your clean underwear." Tai muttered, strapping an Ink Tank to her back, the clear canister filling up with a fuchsia ink.

"Wait a minute, what?!" Chi asked.

The swift opening and closing of an automatic door freaked Chi out. Staring at the ground, the only clothing left was her Octoling Armor, boots and goggles included. Chi felt at her abdomen, feeling nothing but bare skin.

"TAAAAAAAAIIIIII!" Chi screamed, Tai giggling like a madwoman as she hopped through the halls of the headquarters in squid form.

* * *

As if electricity bounced in between them, the tension between Aussie and Chi intensified. Both were glaring bullets at each other, Tai boredly sitting by with a random tub of popcorn.

"Wat sum?" She offered some to the air.

As if by pure magic, the popcorn vanished, only replaced by the sound of chewing.

Thanks.

Tai nodded, staring at the tense scene, Aussie and Chi standing up from the chairs, the chairs screeching lightly as they were pushed back. The two of them reached at their hips, pulling their Octoshots out.

"You know, it doesn't have to come to this Aussie." Chi narrowed her eyes.

"I agree. So long as you drag Tai to your room." Aussie spat in retaliation.

"Nevermind, it totally does have to come to this." Chi spoke silently, raising her Octoshot to Aussie's face, blasting her back with a spray of ink.

Aussie flew back into a set of tables, scattering chairs across the floor. Aussie snarled, wiping the ink off of her face, sending back an attack of her own, shooting towards Chi. Chi gasped, then knocked over a table, taking cover behind it. Ink bounced off of the nearly spotless top, Chi sending a barrage of bombs towards Aussie. As the Splat Bombs neared Aussie, she switched to an octopus, hitting the deck, until the sound of clicking caught her attention. She turned towards the bombs, which were spitting out ink harmlessly. Aussie's eye twitched.

"I can't believe you fell for the decoy AGAIN!" Chi laughed.

Aussie growled, tossing back the decoy bombs towards Chi's location, who simply giggled. Upon closer inspection however, Chi realized that there was one more bomb than the amount she had thrown. The extra bomb blew up, dousing Chi in ink, Aussie smirking. The smirk was switched out with a surprised expression when Chi tackled her in octopus form, the two Octolings brawling on the floor, kicking up ink and chairs.

A clapping noise sounded out. Aussie and Chi stopped themselves, their tentacles balled up into fists just moments before slamming into each other's faces. Tai was clapping, slowly and somewhat sarcastically, breaking into a yawn.

"That was fun… Thanks for fighting over me guys. You must really care a lot." Tai smiled.

"...Uh." The both of them stuttered.

"Well, now that this is over, I'm going to go over to Splin and Sharq's house to take a nap. See you later." Tai said, placing the popcorn on the floor, walking away, leaving the room.

The two Octolings on the floor watched her leave. As soon as she was out of sight, Tai popped back into view, her head sticking out of the empty doorway.

"Oh, and by the way, this is probably late, but the Inklings have this awesome holiday. It's called 'April Flippers', and you can mess around with people all you want and not get in trouble for it." Tai grinned. "Just thought I'd let you know, see ya."

Tai left the room again, leaving the Octolings even more dumbfounded before. The confusion was replaced with rage soon enough.

"TAI, YOU-"

* * *

AN: For language censorship (and the fact that I'm a lazy scumbag) we're going to end this chapter here.

Thanks Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, and write n wrong for reviewing! I don't either Dread. Ultrapyre, I can understand that aversion to pranks, wasn't too fond of them when I was little, and still have problems with it today. write n wrong, I'm sure that those headaches are probably more gracious than going out to hunt one of those Rathalos, wouldn't it?

Well, with that out of the way, thanks for reading everybody, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to scrounge money up for Conquest and Revelations, see ya.


	28. 6l1(hy 5qu1d

**Splatoon: Th3 Br0th3rs & th3 0tt3r-**

 **6l1+(hy**

"...Hello?" Splin called out.

Splin stood alone, in a white void, completely devoid of any other life, the floor, sky, anything else in sight was completely blank. Splin took a few steps forward, testing the floor, making sure it was safe. He sighed in relief, the floor appearing stable, until the entire room began to shake. Splin ducked for cover, groaning once he realized you cannot take cover behind nothing. He stood up, scanning the environment around him, the white void surrounding him becoming unpredictable, the white flashing different colors of ink splotches rapidly, the clear terrain becoming a jumbled mess of multicolored discord. Splin stared at the mess in horror, then began coughing. He could not understand why, but every time he blinked, he swore he saw flashes of his life zip across his eyes. Splashes of color blinked across his sight, to the point where it was almost nauseating.

Eventually it paused. Splin blinked spying his brother. Sharq was sitting across the realm laughing with someone he couldn't see. At least he guess it was Sharq who looked older now. He also looked really happy. Splin blinked, staring at his now much older brother. He had a small box sticking out of his pants' shorts, with the shine. Eventually, he stopped talking, kneeling down on the floor. The figure across him gasped. He took the box, opened it, and grinned as a diamond ring shone brightly, the figure apparently crying tears down her face.

"...Nailed." Splin muttered.

The scene changed. Splin stared at his reflection. At least, he assumed it was his reflection. A blinking mess of blue tentacles and a pair of Designer Headphones on the opposite figure's head gave him a decent indication. As Splin watched himself, he turned around, glowing eyes blinking curiously back at his younger self.

* * *

That's when Splin woke up, gasping terribly, looking around, blinking his eyes to make sure his delusions were all in order. Everything was still in color. Everything was normal, except for the squid mom glaring directly at Splin.

"Gah! Maria?!" Splin gasped, leaning back.

Maria squinted her eyes at Splin. She immediately took her palm and planted it on his chest, looking to and fro. Eventually she withdrew her hand, sighing.

"Good, you're still breathing." Maria sighed.

Splin frowned. "Of course I'm breathing, what did you think I was doing?"

"Having a heart attack in your sleep. Honey, you've been thrashing in your bed for so long…" Maria told him, holding her chest with a heavy sigh.

"I'm fine Maria… Wait, honey?" Splin asked, staring at Maria.

Maria blinked, blushing light green. "Oh, nothing, I'm glad you're fine!"

Maria immediately turned around in embarrassment and walked off to her bed with a casual strut. Splin was equally embarrassed though he managed to shake off the awkward parental worry wart that was Maria and tidied his shirt up sheepishly. He pushed the sheets off of his bed his vision clearing up ever so slightly as he left the comforts of his cot. Splin walked along the wooden floor off to the kitchen, then immediately tripped over something on the ground.

"Nngh!" Splin groaned, using his arms to block the landing.

"Hi Splin! Do you want to get dealt in?"

Splin turned his head to his right. There, Sharq was sitting with a poker visor wrapped around his Takoroka Mesh cap, a mess of poker chips and a deck of cars on the floor. Ann-Gel and Salty sat side by side, Ann-Gel sneaking a peek at the row of cards facing down by Salty. Salty shook irritably, clustering the cards, Ann-Gel backing away in response, not wishing to cause any issues.

"Hi Salty, you look...normal." Splin greeted the snail.

Salty squeaked in delight at Splin's "compliment".

"...Sharq, no. You shouldn't gamble." Splin sighed.

"It's okay, Maria's teaching us!" Sharq grinned, gesturing to the lime green Inkling.

Splin stared up at Maria incredulously. On her bed, she laughed sheepishly, rubbing her tentacles.

"The television's sort of...broken right now." Maria said, nodding towards the screen.

Splin stared towards the television screen. Smoke rose from the shattered glass. Splin frowned.

"..." Splin sighed.

"Sorry." Maria said, lowering her head.

"What happened?" Splin asked.

"Well, Sharq offered to play me in a game of Super Splat Bros…." Maria said, gesturing to the floor by the television.

Besides the bashed in smoking television screen was an equally smoking Splatendo Wii U console, the Gamepad's screen cracked and burning, the console itself practically a welcoming campfire sight. Splin's hearts sank at the sight.

"..." Maria bit her lip, glancing away.

"Right, I'll just have to purchase a new one… Somehow perform the data back-up too." Splin muttered.

Splin walked over to his bed where his headphones laid by the dresser. Picking them up, he placed them on his head with a comfortable sliding motion. Splin began walking off out of the house through the doors, taking in the sights of the morning sun. He waved towards Maria and Sharq, who waved back, Maria avoiding his gaze. He switched to a blue squid, before jetting off into the sky, leaving behind the hills.

Maria frowned, covering her face in her hands in sheer embarrassment. "God I feel horrible."

"It's okay Maria. I break stuff all the time and Splin bears it all the time!" Sharq smiled at Maria hopefully, Maria just sighing in response.

"...I'm just worried about him. He didn't even eat breakfast." Maria commented, staring out the shattered remnants of the window pane, out to the sky.

"Splin will be fiiiine. He's fourteen." Sharq pointed out with a smile.

Maria shook her head, sitting down on the floor with Sharq. "Well, deal me in. Maybe I'll feel better after a game."

"Sorry Maria, Salty already won the tournament!" Sharq announced.

Maria blinked in a sort of genuine. "Really?"

Sharq nodded happily, turning the the Super Sea Snail sat on the wooden floor. He was decked in coins, doubloons, and a golden crown, a pair of dark sunglasses on its face. Ann-Gel was by the bottom of the kitchen counter, without a single poker chip to call her own. Maria shook her head at the display, though she concealed a smirk.

* * *

Splin's trip through the sky was going swimmingly. Somehow this time around, it felt much more serene, more tranquil, despite the fact that he was going to spend every single cent of his savings just to buy a replacement system. The clouds felt cool as he passed through their white fluffiness, Splin sighing, although raindrops happened to sting his skin ever so slightly as he traveled through the azure light of the sky. As he neared the ground, he closed his eyes, waiting for the impact. Suddenly, the asphalt of Inkopolis' streets bugged out, flashing different colors.

"What the-" Splin gasped, switching to Inkling form.

Splin slammed into the asphalt, coughing. Getting up to his feet, dusting himself off, he blinked, kicking the dust off his feet. The black tar below him did not look nor feel odd, though it felt a bit warm in the light of day. Swiftly, Splin left the street in favor of the safer sidewalk, breathing in and out. Aside from the odd stares he received from passerby after the initial landing, he was ignored. Splin sighed, leaning back on a building. Staring at the sky, he debated whether or not he should keep moving for fear that more delusions would cloud his vision. Nonetheless, Splin decided for the sake of curing his boredom, he would press on to purchase a new system. Splin took a brisk jog through the sidewalk, making his way through the city.

* * *

Maria hummed to herself as Sharq worked on serving up a meal over at a stove, Salty wearing a golden bib, the snail eagerly awaiting food on a cushion, grinning. Ann-Gel and the Tele-Cube glared with jealousy.

"You know, you don't have to flaunt your wealth." Ann-Gel huffed, crossing her arms.

Salty's shell rattled as if to tell her off. Tele-Cube simulated a face sticking its tongue out at Salty, the snail glaring in offense. Maria put a hand on her chin, staring at Sharq.

"Hey, you never did mention how you and your brother...inherited this house." Maria spoke up.

Sharq frowned. "What do you mean?"

Maria raised her hands. "Nothing, nothing, nevermind."

"No, it's fine, what'd you say?" Sharq asked, flipping the pan he was working with.

"...How'd you two inherit this house?" Maria asked.

Sharq bit his lip, looking up at the ceiling. "...It was a long time ago. I can't really remember, but before our parents…left us, I had to watch over Splin. It was a tough two years, but we made it."

Maria frowned. "Two years?!"

"...Yep, before Splin and us grew into full fledged Inklings, our parents pretty much...left. I don't know why, but Splin and I have been waiting here at home for a long time." Sharq told her.

Maria remained silent, staring down at the counter.

"I'm sure they'll come back some day. 'Til then, I'll just hang out with Splin!" Sharq beamed, flipping the pan again.

"...You're a good brother, Sharq." Maria smiled.

Sharq smiled lightly, turning his gaze towards Maria. Then he glanced back at the pan, the scent of smoke alerting him. He frowned.

"Uh...breakfast is done." He said.

Everyone perked up. Sharq turned around with a blank expression, lifting the pan so everyone could see the contents of the pan. An unrecognizable mess of black soot lined the pan. Everyone waiting at the counter mirrored his expression.

"...So, um, Maria, how about you? You must have some stories." Sharq offered, grinning.

Maria smiled, tilting her head. "Yeah, okay… Well, there was the time I first met a person named Silas…"

* * *

Splin sneezed. He was shivering, staring to and fro. Throughout the mall, no one else seemed to be experiencing the same chill he was, if anything, they were the opposite, enjoying the sunshine streaming through the glass roof. Maybe he had a cold. Or he was standing under a long line of vents.

Splin scolded himself mentally for thinking something as stupid as that. He walked throughout the mall, making his way through the mall, reaching an escalator. Inklings filed in a line, from young to old, ascended up and down the set of them. Splin made his way up, standing on a step, waiting for the step to climb up the escalator automatically. He stared down at the cracks between the steps. Flashes of green, most likely the machinery, peered through the cracks back at Splin. Splin sighed, rubbing his arms. As he reached the top floor, Splin shivered, walking to the side.

" _Cod, this is absolutely freezing… Maybe I should stop by a pharmacy."_ Splin thought to himself.

Splin made his way across a store, television screens indoors flashing high definition pictures across. As Splin walked by, the screens fizzled ever so slightly, then blinked off.

* * *

"And that's when Rem and Ix met Callie and Marie." Maria explained.

"Wow! That's cool." Sharq grinned.

"Yeah, rather nice story you had there." Ann-Gel smiled.

The Tele-Cube concurred with them, shaking its cube head up and down. The alarm clock, situated comfortably on Splin's bed beeped warningly. The four of them blinked, staring at the clock in confusion. The clock made a fire symbol on its screen. All four of them turned around, the ever aromatic scent of smoke wafting from the stove towards them. The pan was alight.

Maria's pupils shrank, Ann-Gel backed away, and Sharq, quite possibly the most calm reaction of them all…

Ran out the door and flopped in the grass as Maria desperately began searching the house for something to extinguish the fire with.

* * *

Splin shook his head. He definitely had to go to a doctor now. Whether or not before, it was extraordinarily clear now. As if experiencing sunspots without gawking at the sun like a buffoon, Splin blinked constantly, as if to cure it. For a while, it worked. Splin sighed, seeing the last dot fade from his vision, before turning to the left.

Splin nearly screamed. In the window pane his reflection bounced, broke into pieces, and flashed. Splin took a step back, bordering on the edge of the floor he was on, then sighed in relief once he read the sign above the storefront.

"' _Tricky Mirrors'. Heh, of course."_ Splin sighed, wiping sweat off his forehead.

Splin walked off towards where he presumed the nearest game retailer was. Unbeknownst to him, as he walked by a storefront labeled "Regular Mirrors", the mirrors in the shop retained the same dysfunctional reflection, bouncing and breaking, with colors shifts that could rival a chameleon.

* * *

Maria and Sharq were panting, each lying on the counter of the kitchen with charred faces. The other sentient objects sat on Splin's bed, watching them from a safe distance. Now, while they had managed to douse the fire, but they had a new issue on their hands.

"Blast." Blastoise yawned, snoring as it slept on top of the stove, which resembled a waterfall more than a stove now, water slowly submerging the house from the inside.

"We're going to need a bigger counter." Sharq commented as he tapped the surface of the water cautiously.

"Don't worry I'll handle this." Maria reassured Sharq as she reached at the side.

A shining red and white sphere remained still on the counter. Maria swiftly spun her Golf Visor around, and tossed the Poké Ball at the humongous turtle. The Poké Ball smacked into Blastoise's shell, then opened with a burst of light. Maria's eyes widened.

A pillar shaped swath of fire blasted out of the ceiling.

* * *

Splin sighed. Far from feeling one-hundred percent well, he managed to make his way towards GameShark, where a collection of games in shimmering plastic cases lined the shelves. With a yawn, Splin went inside, immediately stopping to stare at a system. An identical match to the one that was smashed in laid behind the employee working at the counter, who looked equally as tired as Splin, grayish green tentacles wrapped in a lazy ponytail sagging somewhat low behind a grayish green set of eyes. On his black shirt uniform, a name tag labeled, "Prothe" stuck at his chest.

Upon notice the younger brother, the employee seemed to straighten up, and cleared his throat.

"Welcome to GameShark, how may I help you?" He asked in a voice with all the enthusiasm of a victim of a cold.

Splin responded by reaching into his pockets, taking out a wallet, and emptying a small mound of coins onto the counter.

"I'd like to purchase a Wii U." Splin told him.

The employee nodded, turning behind him, taking the system off the shelves. Splin turned around as he worked, staring at the game titles. One caught his eye, a simple game strategy game of sorts. Squinting his eyes to read the title, he read.

" _Fire Emblem Fates Birthrights...is that new?"_ Splin pondered.

The game cover flashed, shocking Splin. On the cover, Corrin stood with a legion of others. Strangely enough, he lacked the tentacles and black marks over his eyes, distinguishing him as an Inkling.

"?!" Splin gasped, backing up into the counter.

"Hey." A voice cleared its throat.

Splin turned around, noticing the employee staring down at him. He laid the game console on the counter, awaiting Splin.

"Would you like to extend the warranty? Only five extra." The employee asked, leaning his elbow on the counter.

Splin's mind shifted to the sight of smoke and the nonexistent crackling of electricity. Without hesitation, Splin slapped five more coins on the counter, and took the boxed console.

"Thanks… Prothe." Splin read with squinted eyes.

At the mention of his name, Prothe grinned, or at the very least curled his mouth minimally. "No problem."

Prothe waved the younger Inkling off as he left his store. Splin stumbled with the box, shaking his head to relieve the dizzy feeling and the fizzling in his ears.

* * *

At this point, Maria was about ready to collapse on her mattress. Having corralled the Pokémon in their encapsulated resting spheres, she was ready to collapse at any moment. Practically anything could make her collapse to the floor. Only problem was, she was not willing to nap on the burning grass below.

The house was as if a mismatch of elements were mixed into it, with fire jutting out the top and water flooding out of the bottom, ruining the house in tandem with each other instead of say, the water putting out the fire. Maria felt beyond awful at this point, gloomily stuffing her head in her legs as she sat by a tree.

"Aw, come on Maria, it could be-"

"Worse?" Maria muttered through her legs. "Sharq, please, if you try to cheer me up like that…"

Sharq frowned. Behind him was a collection of the house denizens, Ann-Gel sitting on her pedestal with a wide eyed expression, hands on her cheeks. The Tele-Cube and alarm clock flashed either the time or blinked lights for the sake of it. Sharq frowned for about the umpteenth time.

"...Sorry Maria. I didn't even get to serve you breakfast!" Sharq sighed.

Maria's head rose up from her lap, a melancholy smile on her face. "It's okay Sharq…"

"It's not okay though! I've been screwing up too much lately!" Sharq sighed. "I don't even think I've cured Splin's teenager yet!"

Maria smirked. "Are you still on about that?"

"Yes! I don't want him to grow older just yet!" Sharq shouted, staring down at the ground. "It's like he's growing distant… You've noticed it, right?"

Maria tilted her head.

"He's staring off into the distance like he's daydreaming… Only he has this really glazed over look…" Sharq muttered.

Maria stared at Sharq in surprise. "Sharq…"

"Gah!" Sharq groaned, falling onto his back. "And our house is burning down too…"

"What are you two talking about?"

The two turned towards the source of the voice, Splin standing over them with a curious stare. He lifted a bag in his right hand, tilting his head in confusion.

"I bought a replacement system. All we need to do now is hook it up." Splin told them.

"...Err, but Splin, the house is…" Sharq pointed behind them.

Splin blinked, turning around, greeted by a house ablaze with fire. Splin stared straight through the flames out the other side, his eyes flashing from their normal brown hue to that of purple and black.

"What's wrong?" Splin asked.

"Wh-What's wrong?!" Sharq gasped.

"Splin, are you feeling okay?" Ann-Gel asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" Splin yawned. "I think I just need to take a bit of a nap."

"...Whuh?!" Sharq was taken aback.

Splin stretched his arms in the air, lazily walking towards the house. Everyone's eyes had grown in shock. He shown no sign of stopping, Splin walking through the grass, the heat growing warmer. Sharq attempted to tackle Splin, only succeeding in slamming into him, attempting to drag him back by his legs. The Tele-Cube attempted to push him back, Ann-Gel followed Sharq's lead, attempting to drag him back, only succeeding in parting the grass she was dragged off on. The alarm clock, for lack of a better word, attempted to help by chanting them on. Maria ran in front of Splin, glaring at him.

"That's far enough!" She shouted, holding her hands out to stop him.

Then she shivered. She shook her head, staring down at her feet, where Sharq and the others laid, hands still grasping at the air. All of them blinked, then turned around. Splin somehow made his way behind them, and began entering the house, flickering in and out like that of a candle flame.

"NO!" They shouted.

* * *

Splin grinned. The house felt warmer for some reason. It was as if flames were wrapping him in a heavenly blanket of warmth. He yawned, walking over to his bed. Strangely enough, his bed looked nothing more than a block, but Splin did not mind, resting on top of the cushy block anyways, yawning. Splin did not mind the warmth. It was as if flames were there, except instead of searing heat, it was a pleasant breeze. Of course, he knew his house never had this much warmth in it, even during summer. So, he decided he needed to turn down the heat.

* * *

The others watched hopelessly as Splin had entered the fire, becoming increasingly more upset. Maria slumped down to her knees, tears threatening. Sharq could hardly look. Of course, that is when the fire went out. Like a snuff of winter air engulfed the house, the flames flickered out. The water flowing through the floor evaporated almost immediately. They stared at the house. As if a reset button was flicked, the house was back to normal, with no scratches or burns to begin with. They all gawked at the house. The doors opened.

"...Gah, I don't feel great." Splin muttered, rubbing the back of his head's tentacles.

"Splin!" Sharq beamed.

"Hmm? Gah!" Splin gasped, Sharq tackling into him.

"You're okay!" Sharq laughed.

"Of course I'm okay. I told you I just needed to sleep." Splin told Sharq, the odd color in his eyes having switched back to their default brown.

Maria could only sigh in relief, falling to the ground in exasperation. Ann-Gel frowned.

"You okay Maria?" The little statuette asked.

"Peachy…" She muttered almost breathlessly.

"You were really worried about him, weren't you?" Ann-Gel asked.

Maria looked up with a bit of an offended stare. "Of course, what kind of mother would I be-"

Ann-Gel arched an eyebrow. Maria frowned.

"Y-You know what I mean." Maria huffed, crossing her arms.

"...Parental nature?" Ann-Gel asked.

Maria turned around, light green crossing her face. Ann-Gel stifled a laugh at the motherly nature Maria attempted to hide. Meanwhile, Sharq was practically suffocating Splin with his brotherly affection.

"Okay Sharq, yeesh, I took a nap, why are you so excited?" Splin asked.

"Because you're not dead!" Sharq cheered.

"...Why would I be dead?" Splin asked, breaking the hug.

Sharq attempted to explain, "The house was on fire, the floor was flooded! Plus, you might've gotten another seizure in your sleep!"

Splin deadpanned. "...Sure. Okay, well I'm going to go inside and catch up on breakfast."

Splin began walking inside. Sharq followed closely behind, the others beginning to catch up, Maria rubbing her arm sheepishly.

"Oh, wait I forgot to get the replacement system, hang on." Splin spoke up, dashing out of the house.

In the grass below, Splin made his way over to the system still wrapped in a box. Splin kneeled down to pick it up, when his vision flashed again. All that happened was the logo on the box, "Splatendo" briefly changing names, then shifting back. Splin blinked, his eyes glowing ever so slightly.

"I need more sleep." Splin muttered.

Yes you do.

"Voice? Where have you been?" Splin asked, cocking an eyebrow curiously.

That's none of your beeswax silly goose, now go home and be a family man.

"...What?" Splin asked.

Go home and plug in the system or something.

"Oh." Splin muttered, standing straight. "Right. Can you at least explain what's been happening lately? Not feeling myself."

That's a story for another day.

"...Whatever voice."

Splin walked back into the house, new system cradled in his arms. He entered, set the system down on the floor, and was about to set it up when-

Maria began breathing rapidly, falling to the ground.

"Maria, what's wrong?!"

"Maria, calm down, you're okay!"

"I'm scared…"

* * *

Maria laid on her bed, unconscious. Everyone stared at her worriedly.

"What is going on today?" Splin muttered. "Either the appliances are broken, or the people here are. Is there a flu?"

"Dunno…" Sharq muttered.

Splin blinked, staring at Maria. Flashes of battle and lights echoed across his vision. He blinked again. Maria laid there, her Golf Visor wrapped around the frame of her bed.

"...Something's wrong." Splin muttered.

* * *

AN: Splat X nods. Hoohah isn't that original. Will Splin get his mind out of the gutter and start thinking straight? What's happening with Maria? Is Sharq being overprotective? Will Ari ever ask Tai out on a date?

* * *

"Silence! I'm working on it!" Ari cried out towards the sky fiddling with a bouquet of roses and a suit.

"...Who're you talking to?" Rit asked, Ari's other squad-mates staring at him curiously.

* * *

Thanks write n wrong for reviewing, by the by, I honestly hadn't really thought about that way, but yes, that does seem like an accurate representation of their relationship with everyone else!

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, find out next time on Xenoblade Chronicles X!

(Or this story, I dunno)


	29. Sharq-Infested Waters Part 1

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Sharq-Infested Waters Ahoy, Part 1**

"Annnnd there!" Sharq announced, laying a cool rag on top of a stack of other cool rags. "Feel better Maria?"

Maria yawned, laying her head back on her pillow, a pile of comforting cloths drenched in water covering her forehead. She nodded tiredly. Splin sat by the kitchen counters, staring at her.

"Why is everyone feeling so sickly today? There has to be something in the air." Splin sniffed, looking around.

Sharq pet Maria on the head, which she scowled slightly at. "Sharq…"

"Sorry, thought it would help." Sharq grinned sheepishly, Maria only managing a small laugh.

Splin stared out the window. Already it was growing dark, with the sun descending, light fading steadily across the land.

"Hmm…" Splin murmured.

Sharq blinked, turning towards his brother. "What's up Splin?"

"I think we might have to find something for Maria. Medicine, you know?" Splin muttered, taking a step.

As soon as Splin made a move to the door, he smashed into the floor face first. Quickly, he switched to a squid, lazily attempting to make his way to the door.

"Splin!" Sharq gasped, picking up the smaller squid.

"I'm fine...just need to buy that m-" Splin began, then stopped suddenly.

"Splin?" Sharq asked, shaking the smaller squid.

As if frozen in time, Splin remained silent in his squid form, his tentacles retaining a straight shape. With wide eyes, Sharq poked Splin's tentacles, which did not budge. However, seconds later, his tentacles buzzed and fizzed. In complete fear, Sharq tossed Splin onto his bed, where he fizzled again, gravity grasping his tentacles once more, which fell onto the bed tiredly. As if by reflex, Splin switched back to Inkling form, laying his head on his bed's pillow, blinking his eyes tiredly.

Sharq clenched his fist, raising it to the ceiling. "Don't worry! I'll find medicine for BOTH of you!"

"Eh?" Splin arched an eyebrow, his irises flashing colors once more.

"Stay put, I'm going!" Sharq called out, dashing out the door.

From his bed, Splin watched as Sharq sprinted outside onto the hills, the sound of a squid blasting into the air. Splin frowned, glancing across the house towards Maria's bed. She was breathing steadily and sleepily, the sheets rising and falling with each breath. She was smiling in her sleep, possibly in gratitude of Sharq's goodwill.

Splin, however, could not be more bothered by this. "I didn't even tell him what to buy…"

Splin groaned to himself, laying back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. While Maria rested peacefully, Splin's inner turmoil could not be any greater.

* * *

Sharq spun through the sky, landing in the ground of Inkopolis, hitting the turf running as he made his way through the city, searching for a pharmacy. The rush of lights and motor vehicles blurred past as he made his way through.

" _Medicine… Medicine… Come on, where is it?"_ Sharq wondered to himself.

Eventually, as Sharq passed a block, he skidded to a halt. Scanning through an open glass pane, he noticed rows and rows of pharmaceutical goods, pill bottles and other medicinal products. With a smile, Sharq entered the shop.

"Excuse me! I need a bottle of flu pills, as soon as possible!" Sharq announced.

Sharq then blinked. Inside the shop, a large Inkling garbed in a large hat with a skull insignia, a long red and black coat dropping to his knees. Behind him, two Inklings with red bandanas and striped shirts stared at Sharq, two burlap sacks extended over their backs. At the cash register, another Inkling stared back at Sharq, a fishing net wrapped around her orange tentacles.

"Uh." Sharq tilted his head.

"Quick, call the cops!" The orange tentacled one yelled.

As Sharq took a step back, one Inkling by the door pointed what appeared to be a flintlock pistol towards him. However, the orange-red colored aesthetic it had must have meant it shot ink. Sharq blinked.

"Oh...Is it National Pirate Day?" He asked.

Then black clouded his vision as he felt something wrap around his head.

* * *

Maria scrunched her face as she awoke, her eyelids fluttering gently. She took her legs and planted them firmly on the floor below, taking a stand. She yawned, looking around the house wearily, noticing Ann-Gel conversing with the Tele-Cube, blips responding to the figurine's speech. Upon turning around, Ann-Gel's face lit up, and the little statuette, albeit of that of a snail's pace, made her way across the kitchen towards Maria.

"Maria! You're awake." Ann-Gel smiled.

Maria smiled back, awaiting Ann-Gel's eventual face-to-face greeting. After waiting about a minute, Ann-Gel only just making it to the floor in the time elapsed, Maria simply walked over five steps and kneeled down to Ann-Gel.

"Morning Maria! You feeling alright?" Ann-Gel asked innocently.

"Yes, I just had a bit of a…" Maria paused, looking out the windows to the sky.

She knew about Rem. Her own daughter was using her power, and not in the greatest of ways. Yet, having the spiritual link of a thousand Japanese animes, Maria could feel...or sense...something, she was worried about her daughter. Still, she doubted that attempting to explain this to a living, breathing, orange Inkling figurine girl would make any sense.

Then she snickered to herself at that thought, clearing her throat. "Um… It's a mother's instinct."

Ann-Gel blinked. "You're worried about your kids?"

"Yes, exactly." Maria smiled, nodding at Ann-Gel.

"Rem and Ix… Sounds cool." Ann-Gel commented.

"Thank you." Maria smiled, looking about the house. "How's Splin?"

"Splin?" Ann-Gel muttered, staring back at Splin's bed.

The two stared back at the younger brother's bed curiously. Splin was stirring slightly, his eyelids fluttering ever so gently as he looked at the ceiling with waking eyes. Maria stood up, walking towards Splin slowly, a careful eye watching him. Gently and steadily, Maria snuck up to his bedside, checking over him. Splin yawned, rolling about in his bed, rustling the covers, eventually rolling over to greet Maria on accident.

"Hi Splin." She greeted him quietly.

"...Maria? Oh. You're okay." Splin murmured.

"Yeah. What about you?" She asked, placing her hand gently on Splin's forehead.

Splin closed his eyes, laying back on his pillow. "...Could be better."

"What's wrong?" Maria asked.

"I'm feeling somewhat f-f-f-f-feverish." Splin muttered, feeling a scratchy sensation bounced up and down his throat.

"I'll say…" Maria muttered, removing her hand from his head. "Your forehead feels unnaturally warm…"

"It's alright...Sharq's out and he's going to get...medicine." Splin muttered with a hint of uncertainty.

"Oh, well that's nice of him." Maria smiled.

"...I suppose." Splin muttered quietly, laying on his side.

Maria arched an eyebrow at Splin's behavior curiously. "Why, what's wrong with Sharq?"

Splin scowled. "He… He has good intentions, but he might slack off or something."

Maria pet Splin's head, to which he frowned at, but hardly argued, simply closing his eyes tiredly. Maria quickly wrapped Splin in a blanket, the younger squid quickly drifting off to sleep. With a smile, she began walking off, stretching her arms. Ann-Gel watched as she began making her way outside.

"Where are you going?" Ann-Gel asked.

"I'm going to find Sharq, tell him I'm fine, but I'll be sure to help him find something to help Splin." Maria explained with a wave of her hand.

As Maria was about to step out the door, a crashing noise and the sound of air whizzing past interrupted her stride. She stared out the window, noticing wood scraping past the grass of the hill. Maria burst out the door and stared outside, where Sharq was waving back at her.

"Hey Maria!" Sharq called out, waving his arms.

"Sharq?! What are you- Is that a pirate ship?!" Maria shouted.

Sharq grinned. Sharq was on the deck of what appeared to be a pirate's vessel, complete with sails painted with a skull, oddly enough with tentacles attached as if taken from an Inkling that had a skull, tentacles jutting from the skull. He had a parrot perched on his shoulder, a bunch of other rapscallions wearing the old pirate garb cheered behind Sharq. The ship dragged across the ground, parting grass with surprising ease. Maria could hardly believe her eyes. She had seen quite the things in her life, but this was certainly a new one.

"Listen, I'm going on a journey to find some sort of treasure or something I can use to buy Splin medicine with!" Sharq announced.

Maria blinked. "Whuh?! Wait, that doesn't make any-"

"Tell Splin not to worry! I'll be coming back soon!" Sharq waved, the pirates bursting into raucous laughter.

Maria stared wide eyed as Sharq left, the ship somehow propelling itself over the hills into the distance, bouts of cheers echoing off into the distance. Maria frowned, stepping back into the house, grabbing a Splatterscope rifle and Ink Tank, beginning to walk back out with an ever strong stride.

Ann-Gel's eyes expanded as well. "Whoa."

Turning back, Maria managed the warmest smile she could. "I'll be back soon, take care of Splin while I'm gone, okay?"

Ann-Gel blinked. "O-Okay."

"See ya!" Maria waved, slamming the door behind her, dashing off into the distance after the ship.

Ann-Gel frowned, staring at the door. Shaking her head, she made her way towards Splin slowly but surely, her pedestal clattering with the ground as she hopped towards the young brother. Looking around, she noticed both the alarm clock and the Tele-Cube. Both had Zs for icons on their screens. Ann-Gel rolled her eyes.

"Way to help me look after Splin guys." Ann-Gel sighed, staring up at Splin from the floor.

So far, Splin appeared fine, aside from the rolling in his sleep, he was absolutely fine. Ann-Gel sat on her pedestal, watching after him, the sound of wood scraping against dirt fading off into the distance.

* * *

Step by step, Maria chased after the pirate ship, switching into squid form, attempting to Super Jump. As soon as she blasted off into the sky, she noticed the absurd speed the pirate ship was moving at, which soon outpaced her Super Jump. Rolling onto the ground as a lime green squid, she continued the chase, hopping with every breath she took as to catch up with the ship. Eventually, she noticed a long, ragged rope dragging along the side. With a smirk, Maria squished herself into the earth, and launched herself again, this time horizontally towards the ship, catching the worn rope. Smiling, she began climbing up the side of the ship, reaching the deck, where she was greeted by a plethora of Inkbrushes pointed at her face.

"Maria!"

Maria turned to the side, where Sharq waved at her. Other than the parrot, his classic Takoroka Mesh, White Anchor Tee, and Banana Basics apparel did not change, but now the parrot rested on top of Sharq's cap. Maria tilted her head curiously.

"Oy? You a companion of Captain Sharq?" One of the grunts aiming an Inkbrush at her spoke up.

Maria blinked. "'Captain'?"

"Yeah! The last captain gave me his title!" Sharq announced. "Just like that!"

Maria frowned, standing up straight, dusting herself off. "Why?"

"Ah, apologies, I suppose that needs explanation."

At the sound of that voice, the crew withdrew their Inkbrushes, then stepped to the side.

"Hoy! Sir!" The others kneeled at the deck.

"Hmm?" Maria murmured, tilting her head.

"Oh, right! This guy's the former captain." Sharq said, gesturing to the side.

Maria tilted her head, staring to the side. A red flowing coat drifted in the air, a black cap with a red bandana underneath covering his equally reddish tentacles. The wind carried his coat his coat, which under normal circumstances might have looked extremely cool, but considering the amount of wind blowing past it looked more like a cape stuck in a wind tunnel. In frustration, the mysterious Inkling completely revealed his identity, the former captain pushing down his coat in frustration, stamping down on his coat with weather-worn boots.

"There goes my freakin' reveal." The former captain muttered, dusting himself off.

Maria stared at him. A jagged scar ran down the right side of his cheek, giving him a rugged appearance. Upon spying Maria, the former captain stopped dusting himself off, and began advancing towards her with a sly smirk, walking in a way that suggested an attraction. Maria began backing away in discomfort, which switched to confusion and relief once his face lit up.

"Welcome aboard, miss!" The former captain greeted her with a huge smile.

Maria blinked. "Oh. Uh, thanks?"

The former captain raised his hand to Maria in a friendly fashion. "The name's Xarius. Glad to have an extra deckhand on board."

"Okay…" Maria coughed awkwardly. "Do you… Mind if I try something?"

"What'dyou have in mind?" Xarius asked, arching an eyebrow.

Maria stretched her arms, then her legs, making sure to turn around ever so often, puffing her chest out. The pirates watched her in bewilderment, one narrowing his eyes and tilting her head. Maria finished by reaching for her toes, then stood up straight, clearing her throat.

"...Err, okay, what was that? Had a crick in your back or something" Xarius asked, frowning.

"Oh, I was just stretching… You're um...not going to comment on my figure, are you?" Maria asked.

"...I uh...huh?" Xarius asked.

"Sorry, I needed to check... It's just most of the men I've been around… Uh, so, no compliments, no date offers…?" Maria asked.

Xarius smirked. "Madam, if you're fishing for compliments, I'm afraid all you'll get from us are blank stares!"

The other pirates laughed, as well as Sharq, who did not entirely understand the laughter, but wished to join in regardless. Maria stood straight, dumbfounded.

" _What kind of backwards world is this where the pirates are practically the gentlemen while the city men are flirty idiots?"_ Maria thought to herself, then shook her head. "So…um Care to explain how Sharq is now your captain?"

Xarius stopped laughing slowly, then coughed, grinning. "Sure, heh heh, I'll explain. Yousee, I was gettin' tired of being captain, so I decided to pass it on to littl' Sharq 'ere, seems like a pretty capable squid."

Maria laid a hand on her hip. "...Really? That's it? Just a random squid?"

Xarius shrugged. "He had a fire in his eyes. Once he stopped us from robbing that convenience store, I realized this squid 'ere has spunk. So, we're taking 'im on an adventure, he gets twenty-percent of the cut."

Maria frowned, leaning back on the railing of the ship. "...Alright. Well, what's this treasure you're all going on about?"

Sharq grinned. "Oh, that? I'll explain that one later, but for now, let's have lunch!"

"Oy, you heard the captain, escort our new crewmate to the mess hall for some chow!" Xarius called out to the crew, who cheered in response.

Sharq smiled. "Follow me, Maria!"

Sharq dashed down into an open set of stairs into the inside of the ship. Maria blinked, then shrugged, following after him, the crew filing in after her, with Xarius left on the deck.

"...This'll be a journey to remember... That squid will be the key to victory." Xarius grinned, staring up at the blue sky. "That treasure is as good as ours!"

* * *

While Sharq and Maria were off on a new quest that came straight out of the blue, Splin rustled restlessly at home, shaking back and forth. Ann-Gel bit her lip, staring up at him worriedly. She stared back at the door and Splin.

" _Oh… Geez, you two better get back soon."_ Ann-Gel thought to herself, staring at Splin carefully.

As Ann-Gel turned around to face the door, Splin's tentacles flashed, from blue to pitch black, in a blink of an eye. He muttered something, then drifted off to sleep.

* * *

AN: So, pirates, yep. This is mostly a joke arc, but hey, that's the whole point of this story in the first place. Hey, I need to follow up on the original "adventures" formula that the original had. So… Pirates. Eh, I'm trying things out. Mostly in trying to make this bizarre and still entertaining and readable. So, if you feel like it's going too far, then feel free to slap me silly!

Anyways, with that poor explanation out of the way, let's get to those reviews. Thanks Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, write n wrong, and Dancing Mann for reviewing! Well, puberty is pretty harsh Dread. This isn't puberty to say the least though, so you're right about that. Thanks Ultrapyre, really appreciate your efforts on your story. write n wrong, thanks again, hopefully this works as an answer. And Dancing Mann, thanks, really appreciate knowing the humor is to your liking.

Alright, that's it for now, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, uh.. Something, something, arr? I guess?


	30. Sharq-Infested Waters Part 2

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Sharq-Infested Waters Ahoy, Part 2**

Splin groaned in his slumber, shivering rapidly in the sheets. While Ann-Gel paced back and forth on the floor, worrying over the current state of the young brother, Splin was off in dreamland, having a jolly good time sitting in a white space, doing absolutely nothing. He sighed, sitting boredly on the ground.

" _Well isn't this nice."_ Splin thought to himself.

I know, right? Very spacious.

Splin blinked, staring up in the air. "What? Voice?"

Hello sleepyhead.

"...What are you doing in my… Dream? Oh, wait." Splin muttered, staring at the ground. "I get it. You know, I expected heaven to look a lot more cloudy."

Nah, cool your tentacles gloomy squid. You're still alive. Just asleep.

Splin frowned. "Well then what about that… Phenomenon then?"

You tell me.

"You know, the flashing lights and disorientation." Splin attempted to explain.

Have you tried blowing into the cartridge or turning it on and off again?

Splin smirked, leaning on what appeared to be nothing but air. "Good, how helpful, next you're probably going to tell me to clean the disc or reset the router."

Pretty much.

"So, what, is this one of those things I have to figure out myself, or…?" Splin asked.

Hit the nail on the head. Where's the fun in spoiling it all?

"Maybe the fun comes in not getting injured trying." Splin spoke up.

Maybe. Enjoy your sleep Splin.

Splin narrowed his eyes. With a shrug, Splin laid down on the white floor, relaxing in the realm of nothingness.

* * *

Maria sat at a large long wooden table, large plates filled with biscuits and butter as well as utensils to the side decked the table, crew members of the vessel happily digging in, Sharq sitting at the head of the table in a grand throne. Maria was seated next to him, as was Xarius, his cap respectfully put to the side, letting two red tentacles flow down his back.

"Mm? What's wrong Maria? Aren'tcha going to eat?" Sharq asked between mouthfuls of buttery biscuits.

Maria stared down at her plate. "...Maybe later."

"What's the matter? I can try and see if there's any other food." Sharq began, descending from the throne.

"No, it's fine… I'm just thinking." Maria muttered.

"Oh, okay! Splin does that all the time. Just stares at the floor." Sharq explained. "Hmm. Hey, Xarius?"

At Sharq's left, Xarius blinked, glancing towards Sharq. "Yeah?"

"Why'd you suddenly decide I would be captain? It's cool, but why?" Sharq asked innocently, the parrot resting on his hat giving him another odd look.

Xarius blinked, staring away at the wooden boards of the floor.

"Why does everyone do that when they're thinking?" Sharq whispered to the parrot.

The parrot gave a shrug with its scarlet wings, resting on Sharq's hat tiredly.

* * *

"Oy, if she tries anything, make sure to silence 'er for good." Xarius muttered. "She's already proven her worth. No need to attempt to try capturing her anymore."

In the pharmacy, the pirate goons made sure to bag Sharq, the blue squid squirming in the sack cloth bag they had captured him in. The woman running the register seemed to shrink under the fierce gaze of the pirates. Xarius walked over to the register, then reached at his side. In the blink of an eye, an Inkbrush fashioned to look like a cutlass, finely brushed down with a sharp, gooey edge, slashed at the cash register. The register slid apart in pieces, leaving a mere handful of coins.

Xarius growled. "This still ain't enough to settle our debts. Search the woman's pockets. No funny business-" Xarius glared at the other pirate Inklings, whom tentacles began shivering slightly. "Especially from you."

With a nod, the pirates began advancing on the poor woman quickly, the orange Inkling woman backing away in fright. Suddenly a spitting sound could be heard. Turning around, they noticed a patch of cloth missing from the bag Sharq was wrapped in. Swift footsteps blew past Xarius, and the surprised shouts of his crew alerted him. Staring at the side, Xarius noticed Sharq tackling the others, knocking them to the floor. With a roll of the eyes, Xarius simply took his Inkbrush and flicked it forward, ink flowing onto the ground with the same motion of his wrist. Like water, the reddish ink flowed onto the floor, under Sharq's feet, causing him to slip. With a thud, Sharq groaned, then met the Inkbrush head on, the tip of the brush pointed dangerously close to his face.

"...You had us going for a moment there, squid." Xarius smirked. "I'm feelin' a little generous today. I'll grant you the privilege of telling me yer name 'fore I chop you into bits."

Sharq frowned. "My name's Sharq, and I'm not letting you keep me from achieving my mission!"

Xarius laughed. "'Mission', eh? Rather noble of you. Fruitless, but noble. Take a look around, Sharq. See the ink?"

Sharq blinked, staring at the floor. Red ink fizzled dangerously. Xarius raised his Inkbrush, the ink raising up, forming into deadly spires of scarlet, poking at Sharq's clothing.

"A mere point towards the ceiling is all I need to off you." Xarius muttered. "It's been nice knowing you."

"Whoa, how are you-" Sharq's eyes widened.

As soon as Xarius raised his sword skywards, Sharq switched to a squid, grasping onto one of the spires. They rose into the sky with a fierce speed, piercing the ceiling. Snarling, Xarius lowered his sword and slashed horizontally, cutting through the ink spires with ease, Sharq hopping off. Sharq made his way towards the door, but was stopped by one of the grunts, who pointed their flintlock ink pistols towards Sharq menacingly. Sharq simply slammed into one of them, taking their pistol in the process, then switched to a squid and headbutt the other. Sharq switched back to Inkling form, aiming the pistol at Xarius angrily.

"Hey now!" Sharq shouted. "Take another step and I'll shoot you in the face!"

Xarius rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. That pistol is hooked up to their ink supply, which is absolutely harmless-"

Xarius barely intercepted the blue bullet with his Inkbrush before it was shot at his face almost cleanly. With wide eyes, Xarius stared at Sharq curiously. Sharq was sweating bullets, with a sort of determined yet terrified stare in his eyes.

"How'd you…" Xarius stammered, staring at Sharq.

Upon closer inspection, he realized that the pistol's harness was attached to Sharq, who was panting heavily. "I'm not going to let you stop me from helping my brother out with his flu!"

Xarius muttered something indiscernible, lowering his Inkbrush. "...Amazing reflexes. What'dyou say your name was again?"

Sharq blinked, letting the pistol fall to the ground. "Uh, Sharq? It was just, I dunno-'

Xarius smirked. "Sharq… What would you say to going on a bit of a treasure hunt?"

"Right now? Aren't we going to fight or something?" Sharq asked curiously.

Xarius sighed, sheathing his Inkbrush at his side in a sheath attached to his belt. "Nah. Don't want a murder on my conscience right now. Besides, I think I might have a task you can do for me. I'll even pay you."

Sharq frowned. "Um, no thanks. I'll just be buying my brother's medicine-"

Xarius smirked. "Boy, with the rewards we'll reap you'll be able to afford a whole hospital with the cash."

Sharq blinked, staring at Xarius incredulously. "Really?!"

"You got guts kid. It'd be a cryin' shame to spill them all over the floor." Xarius grinned, "Shall we?"

Sharq stared at the fallen, groaning heaps of Inkling on the floor. "What about-"

Xarius chuckled. "They'll be fine, they've face much worse than your tackles. They'll be up in a moment."

Sharq blinked, smiling somewhat. "Well, okay then! Sorry!"

Sharq was responded in turn with multiple shaky groans coming from the polished pharmacy floor. Xarius frowned, beginning to leave through the front door, glancing back at Sharq with an eyebrow arched.

"You coming?" Xarius asked, arching an eyebrow.

Sharq blinked, then nodded gleefully, making his way outside with the older pirate, the door closing with a thud behind them, leaving a bunch of unconscious pirates in a pharmacy with a terrified woman.

"Alright, first things first, I need to authenticate you into the crew, ya can't just go waltzing into the ship like you own the place." Xarius explained, walking along the streets of Inkopolis, Sharq following closely behind.

"A crew AND a ship?" Sharq asked.

"Aye. Look yonder." Xarius muttered, pointing ahead.

Sharq blinked in confusion, turning ahead. His eyes grew in delight, a large wooden pirate ship laid stranded in the middle of the street, cars honking at the maritime vessel irritably. As Sharq stared in admiration, Xarius planted something on Sharq's shoulder. Sharq blinked, turning to his right. A scarlet macaw, short and stout stood on Sharq's shoulder, waving to Sharq.

"Caw! Ca- Ahem, gak!" It coughed, then shook its head, "Sorry 'bout that a cashew nut got stuck in my throat."

"Oh, hi! My name's Sharq." Sharq greeted the parrot cheerfully.

"Ahoy, new captain!" The colorful parrot greeted back.

Sharq tilted his head. "'Captain'?"

Xarius shrugged. "I figured the easiest way to get you on-board was to grant permission to borrow my title, 'til we finish our quest and get the treasure."

"I don't really get it, but as long as there's a parrot on my shoulder, sure!" Sharq smiled, patting the parrot on its head.

"Oy, easy." The parrot scowled, shielding its head with its feathers. "Name's Hueli, by the by. Don't you be callin' me 'parrot' now. And especially don't call me 'Polly' neither, new captain Sharq."

"Hmm. Okay Hueli." Sharq said with a grin. "So, you're pirates? Like, actual, boats in the ocean, rob and pillage people, search for treasure type of pirates?"

"Eh, close." Hueli responded.

Xarius scoffed. "We don't 'rob people'."

Sharq instinctively turned back towards the pharmacy, Xarius frowning in response.

"That's the last time I'll ever rob anyone. Besides, we've got something better." Xarius smirked. "You can fight, yeah?"

Sharq shrugged. "I mean, I know how to use a roller and a few other ink guns, if that's what you mean."

"Perfect." Xarius grinned. "Ya see, we need a bit of assistance on something."

Xarius began heading towards the ship, Sharq following. The two Inklings, and parrot, nonchalantly made their way through the crowded line of cars towards the wooden vessel, drivers shouting in indignation as they did so. Xarius merely rolled his eyes at the cars, paused, reached for his scabbard, and released his Inkbrush, which gleamed menacingly in the air. Immediately, most of the traffic's racket died down, some Inklings huddling in the cars in fear. Xarius smirked, sheathing his Inkbrush again, resuming his walk, Sharq following behind, giving apologetic glances towards the drivers.

"Feh. Wealthy squids think they own the roads." Xarius spat. "Alright, 'Captain', the ship's up ahead. Just let me do the talking."

Xarius walked over towards the ship's bottom, gave two quick knocks on the hollow wood, and waited, Sharq staring in awe.

"Hey, you might wanna step to the side there." Xarius informed Sharq cautiously.

"Hmm?" Sharq muttered, before a large wooden plank smacked into the ground next to him. "Wah!"

Sharq took a step back in shock, Xarius shaking his head with a chuckle. "Guess you didn't need to after all. C'mon."

"Er, yes sir!" Sharq saluted, the parrot on his shoulder attempting to retain balance.

Turning around, Xarius smirked. "'Sir'? You're the one who's supposed to command all the respect, Captain. Might wanna start acting like it"

Xarius began ascending the plank, Sharq staring up at the parrot.

"I still don't get it." Sharq told the parrot.

The parrot shrugged.

* * *

Xarius frowned, furrowing his brow. _"Gah, no, what am I thinking! This impulse of mine is going to get this squid krilled! I just gotta keep my cool. He HAS to be the one to unlock the doors. He has to…"_

"Has to." Xarius murmured.

"What's up Xarius?" Sharq asked, sitting next to him.

"Nngh!" Xarius flinched, backing off of the bench that acted as the table's chairs. "Err, apologies Captain."

"You still haven't answered my question!" Sharq frowned.

"What was that?" Xarius reiterated, taking up a seat again.

"Why am the captain again? It's cool that I get a parrot that sits on my head-" Sharq began.

"Hey." Hueli waved from his comfortable Inkling roost.

"But you still haven't really told me." Sharq frowned.

Xarius scowled, shutting his eyes. He sighed, reopening them in an instant. "Alright, fine. Sharq, I chose you to be captain for a very specific reason. Ya see, the treasure we're going after isn't just gold and riches."

Sharq tilted his head. "Really?"

"Nah. It's something far greater." Xarius told Sharq, staring at the ceiling. "Ya see, you ain't just captain 'cause I want to shrug off my duties. No. ...It has to do with a curse."

Sharq blinked. Xarius frowned, believing that he was not going to believe him in the slightest. Maria frowned at the side.

Maria sighed. "Xarius, that just sounds-"

"A curse?! Whoa! Wait, is Hueli cursed?! Is that why you gave him to me?!" Sharq gasped in fright.

Hueli scowled. "Oy! I'm a clean bird here!"

Xarius smirked. "No, no, it's nothing like that… The treasure is tricky. There's uh… How should I put this… This barrier that protects it from the outside."

"A barrier?" Sharq asked.

"Aye. This barrier is a bit of a special one… It peers straight into your own hearts. Sees something it don't like?" Xarius made a shoving movement with his hand.

"Psycho Man- I mean," Sharq shook his head, "So, this barrier stops you because you were… The captain?"

Xarius sighed. "Something like that. As the uh, former head of the ship, the barrier generally seeked out me and pushed the ship back."

"Full speed ahead!" Xarius cried out on the mast of the ship, pointing his Inkbrush towards a small island.

As the sails took on wind and sped up, the wood vessel began making its way over to the island. As soon as they tried to cross the waters towards the island, Xarius slammed into an invisible wall, stumbling backwards.

"Captain!" His crewmates gasped.

Xarius growled, attempting to slash through the air with his Inkbrush. The barrier bended the brush like a toothpick, then shot it back, knocking Xarius down to the wooden floor with a groan.

Xarius frowned. "Wasn't pleasant."

"Oh, okay. So I just have to stand around being the captain then? Sounds great!" Sharq smiled.

Xarius grinned. "Ya don't seem too concerned about the consequences there."

Sharq took a righteous pose, pumping his fist in the air. "Anything to help my brother! If what you told me is true, then I'll be able to help him out in anyway I can!"

Xarius blinked, laying one hand on the side of his cheek, brushing over his scar. "Noble goal of you."

"Oh! Speaking of which, Maria, how's Splin doing?" Sharq asked.

Maria looked up from her plate, smiling softly. "He's fine last I checked Sharq. I told Ann-Gel to watch over him before I left."

"Alright. Thanks Maria." Sharq grinned, "I'm going to go outside and look at the sea!"

Sharq got up out of his seat, Hueli sticking to his cap like glue. Maria grinned as she watched Sharq hop up out of the brig carelessly, running up the stairs to the awaiting sunlight out on deck. She turned to Xarius.

"Hey, I'd like to ask a question." Maria told Xarius.

"Eh? What'll that be?" Xarius asked.

"How exactly does this ship run on land?" Maria asked, Xarius frowning.

"Oy, it's magic of course." Xarius told her plainly, sitting back in his seat.

Maria narrowed her eyes, then sighed. "You don't know how it works either, do you?"

"Can't complain. Got it as a gift." Xarius muttered.

"Hmm." Maria hummed, looking around. "Well, despite its oddities, it's quaint."

Xarius smirked. "Thanks Miss Maria. 'Spose the captain's talk of you wasn't just sheer gushing, you seem polite and fair."

Maria smirked as well. "Careful." She lifted her hand, a ring gleaming on her finger. "It's Mrs. Altezio to you."

"Oy oy, don't get the wrong idea either. I'm spoken for, you best keep to yourself." Xarius laughed.

The two smiled at each other in good humor. Then they felt an impact, the ship wobbling as a result.

"Eh? Hey, quit messin' around out there." Xarius called out.

"Hey, uh, Xarius? I think we have a pretty big PROBLEM!" Sharq yelped the last part out, the sounds of crashing and screaming coming from above.

Maria and Xarius blinked. Reaching at her back, Maria grasped her Splatterscope, Xarius unsheathing his Inkbrush.

"...A sword?" Maria tilted her head.

Xarius nodded. "Beauty, ain't she? Named her myself. 'Wanderlust'."

Maria chuckled. "Wow, naming a blade? Aren't you a bit old for that?"

Xarius frowned. "Hey, a gift's a gift, besides, naming it's fun."

"Sure. Hope you know how to use it." Maria chuckled, running up.

Xarius rolled his eyes, dashing off after her. "Oh, what would you know about a proper melee weapon?!"

As the two departed from the hollow hull of the brig, they were met with the azure color of the sky brightening into view. Their view was spoiled, however, by an unforeseen obstacle.

"Hey guys! Can you give me a hand? I don't think this kraken's very happy." Sharq shouted, beating back a large green tentacle with a wooden barrel.

The two older Inklings blinked. True to Sharq's word, the old weathered face of a kraken squid had emerged from the water, the ship having hit the ocean long after they had departed into the mess hall. It screeched, a shrill noise released from its beak. Maria and Xarius aimed their weapons fearlessly at the tentacles, Maria giving Xarius a quick glance.

" _...As if I didn't already have enough swordsmen in my life. Goodness me."_ Maria sighed to herself, before she and Xarius sprinted into the fray, weapons at the ready.

* * *

AN: With part two out of the way, I'm setting this arc aside to catch up on matters over at Inkopolis involving a certain pair of cephalopods. Sorry! But if you don't like this arc, you're welcome, I guess!

Reviewing is the Internet's way of providing criticism or silly comments. Either way, it is certainly a thing of beauty. Thanks write n wrong for reviewing! Glad you're enjoying the whole pirate shenanigans write n wrong.

Huh, is it just me or are the reviews on the site really strange as of late? I'm not saying, "b0ss review more pls" I mean, some reviews aren't showing up after April 12 for some reason, even when it says they are. Odd. Well, hopefully the fix that soon, thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to work on chapters and such.


	31. Octopuses Are Great Dinner Dates

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Octopuses Are Great Dinner Dates**

Ari strut throughout Inkopolis, his head held high and his orange tentacles slick back. He had discarded his Jungle Hat and Varsity Jacket in favor of a black suit and tie, looking extremely sophisticated as he made his way down the street. A few younger Inklings passing by snickered at his formal attire, but even that could not put a damper on his mood.

"WHAT THE SHELL?!" A voice boomed in the distance.

Plus, the fact that he bought the suit using his father's money certainly did not hurt his pride. Ari smirked as the squabbling of Ares sounded off like thunder in the distance. Ignoring his father's bouts of anger, Ari waltzed into Inkopolis Plaza, Inklings returning from a Turf War nearly slinging ink onto his suit as they left Inkopolis Tower and walked past, laughing to each other.

Ari dodged quickly, stepping back. "Watch it!"

One of the Inklings frowned, holding a Roller above her head. "Yeesh, sorry. Why would you bring a suit into the plaza if you don't want it to get messed up?"

Ari scoffed, smoothing his tentacles back. "For your information, I happen to be awaiting the harsh yet wonderful greeting of a gorgeous vixen who outclasses all of you plebs."

* * *

Tai yawned, lifting her Octoling Armor over her head, sending it sliding through the metallic floors of the Octoling HQ, the armor plate tripping up Aussie as she walked by.

"Thank Cod, it's getting stuffy in here." Tai yawned, laying on her back.

Aussie came up, fuming, her Octoling Goggles flashing bright. "T-41!"

"Oops." Tai muttered, getting to her feet, swiftly dashing off.

"Get back here!" Aussie cried out, quickly dashing to follow Tai.

Tai smirked, running throughout the HQ like a maniac, Aussie following behind with outstretched arms that threatened to tear into the other octopus once she had reached her.

* * *

The group that had just left the tower glanced at each other, then shrugged, walking off, leaving Ari in a delusionally false state of triumph. He scoffed, making his way over the manhole, ducking inside as an orange squid, sliding through the pipe with relative ease. As soon as he made his way over to the other side, he stood straight on the brown dirt, adjusting his tux's tie. He began picking up his pace, breaking into a suave stride, with no worries in the world. Then he bumped into her. As Ari began falling, he quickly reached into his coat's side pocket, pulling out an air freshener canister, spraying it into his mouth. Silently choking back the taste with a hint of regret, he got back up to his feet, smirking.

"Why, helloooooo there." Ari said, attempting to look smooth, leaning on air.

The discombobulated Octoling got to her feet, adjusting her Octoling Goggles around her neck, staring at Ari with an excited stare. For a moment, Ari thought she was happy to see him, and smirked harder, adjusting his tie once.

"Hey, pretend I'm not here." Tai told him quickly, shifting into an octopus, sliding into his tux.

Ari blinked as he felt the octopus take shelter in his suit, obviously confused. Gawking around at the floating platforms for a moment, Ari soon found the reason behind Tai's stealthy escape in an enraged Octoling storming past him.

"You!" An infuriated Aussie pointed at Ari.

Ari blinked, pointing at himself in bewilderment.

"Yes, you, agent… Gah, whoever you are, did you see an Octoling sprint by?!" Aussie asked impatiently, tapping her foot on the ground.

Ari grinned. "Er, yes, in fact, she went… Down that pipe!"

Ari pointed over at the grates that led to Inkopolis. Upon seeing them, Aussie groaned, stamping her foot down.

"Of course she'd take refuge there!" Aussie cried out, "Gah! It can't be helped! Once T-41 returns, I'll give her the reprimanding of a lifetime!"

With that said, Aussie stormed off back to the metal kettles of Octo Valley, her tentacles twitching and furling rapidly. As soon as she was out of earshot, Tai popped out of the sleeve of Ari's tux, laughing hysterically on the ground.

"Haha! Get absolutely outplayed! Oh man, did you see her tentacles?!" Tai asked Ari, wiping violet tears of joy out of her eyes.

Ari managed a snicker. "That was… Uh, pretty good."

Tai's laughter went on for a solid ten seconds, before she regained her composure and stood up to Ari's level, her once happy demeanor replaced with a bored stare. "Alright, what do you want?"

Ari blushed, his smirk reappearing. "Y-Yeah, so hey. I just wanted to ask if you wanted to-"

"Nah, too busy." Tai yawned, making her way back to the kettles.

"Wha- Hey! You didn't let me finish!" Ari groaned, glaring at Tai.

Tai simply wrapped her arms around the back of her head lazily. "Yeah, well, you're probably going to lay down a really cheesy one-liner that's supposed to make me fall head over heels for you. Not happening."

"No! Well, yes… Just hear me out, okay?!" Ari shouted.

Tai sighed, shook her head, and turned around. "Yeah, Fancysuit?"

"Look, I didn't come all this way in a suit just so you could ignore me! I just want to ask you for one date, okay?!" Ari asked.

Tai smirked. "Well, how charming. You going to bring all your friends along with the ride?"

"No. Just you, me, wherever, whenever, okay?" Ari sighed. "Just one. Please?"

Tai closed her eyes, sighing once more. She and Ari stood silent, both dreading her decision slightly, rays of light shining down on them, the valley remaining quiet minus the birds chirping ever so often. Eventually, Tai sighed, dropping her arms in defeat. She stared at Ari with unflinching eyes.

"Alright, fine. I'll give you a chance." Tai told Ari.

Ari's face lit up. "R-Really?!"

Tai nodded. "Come back here in about two hours. Bring an Ink Tank, and get out of that ridiculous suit. It makes you look like a depressed parrotfish."

As Tai mentioned his suit, Ari instinctively stared down at it, wondering what the problem was. When he looked back up at the Octoling, he found that she was already making her way back to her headquarters, yawning. Ari broke out into a grin, his orange tentacles rippling. Slowly, he turned around, walking back home. He jumped back in fear once he noticed an old Inkling general blocking his path.

"Going out, eh Agent C?" He nudged Ari with his elbow. "Eh, go ahead and enjoy yourself, but if I were you, I'd invest in a safety vest!"

Ari frowned. "What are you on about?"

"Octopuses aren't exactly the head-in-the-cloud, lovey dovey types son. You might wanna just keep an eye out." Cap'n Cuttlefish chuckled.

"Hey! Are you implying I cannot handle her? She's just a rose with thorns, prickly on the outside, but I am positive she's more than virtuous."

Cap'n sighed, shaking his head. "Well, I 'spose I can't stop you. Don't say I didn't warn you now!"

Ari smirked. "Trust me, I will get her to come out of her shell. Farewell, elder!"

Ari began running towards the manhole, shifting to a squid, dropping between the grates. Cap'n Cuttlefish shook his head, walking back under the cool shade of his shack, resting on his beaten blue couch.

* * *

Tai whistled as she returned to the Octarian HQ, other Octotroopers giving her acknowledging stares. One sitting by waved using its primary head tentacle, asking in its burbling language on what she had planned to do when Aussie, the fearsome commander, caught her.

"What are you planning to do when 4U55-13 catches you, T- Tai?" The Octotrooper asked with a hint of fear.

See?

Tai simply waved off the Octotrooper's question. "Eh, I'll show you in a second."

The Octotrooper frowned, arching its eye in confusion. A loud clunking metal noise echoed through the base, growing louder. The Octotrooper's eyes shrank. Behind Tai, Aussie's Octoling Goggles glared brightly, magenta flaring out of the lenses furiously.

"Hey Auss." Tai began, leaning on the metal wall.

"T-41," Aussie snarled, "I HAVE HALF A MIND TO SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO OCTAVIO-"

"Please don't!' A booming voice called from across the base.

"AND HAVE YOU TRAIN DAY AFTER DAY NONSTOP FOR THAT OFFENSE?! WHY WOULD YOU THINK TRIPPING ME UP WAS A GOOD IDEA?! WHAT, DID YOU THINK IT WAS FUNNY?!"

"What do you think I should wear for a date?" Tai muttered.

"DON'T CHANGE T-The subject? Wait, whoa, hang on, slow down, w-what?!" Aussie stammered.

"Going on a date. So, what, you think this apparel should cut it? Maybe that Tenta's old room has something I could fish out of it." Tai yawned.

Aussie gawked at Tai as she boredly stared at her own hand, waiting for her response. Aussie's face reddened somewhat, and she coughed.

"...I didn't realize you were the type to fall in love. Huh. Kudos." Aussie gave her a brief round of applause.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tai arched an eyebrow.

Aussie deadpanned. "It's absolutely the least possible probability in all of the universe. Anyone here who thought Tai could fall in love, raise your tentacles."

The Octotrooper in the hall made a point as to lower his tentacle on his head, Tai shaking her head with a sigh.

"Sorry." The Octotrooper muttered.

Tai frowned, crossing her arms. "I'm NOT falling in love, Auss. Cod, it's just a date. He wouldn't stop bothering me, alright? So I figured I'll just satisfy his needs once, and then he'll bug off."

"Ah." Aussie muttered, then shook her head swiftly, resuming her glare, "Wait, no, I'm still peeved about your foolish disregard for safety AND your own gear! I'd like an apology, T-41!"

"Alright, sorry." Tai told her with a shrug and a wave of her hands, walking away.

"I don't think you- Uh… Um. What?" Aussie stuttered once more, finding herself at a loss for words.

Tai whistled to herself, making her way through the metal halls, leaving Aussie with her mouth gaping wide open. As soon as Tai departed from sight, Aussie took off her Octoling Goggles, wiping a tear from her light green irises.

"...Commander?" The Octotrooper asked with heavy concern, "Are you okay?"

"No more backtalk… She's finally growing." Aussie said with a teary smile.

"Ah, crab!" A thud sounded off from across the headquarters. "Hit my friggin' knee- screw this table!"

"..." Aussie sighed, the smile dissipating "At least I can revel in the comfort knowing that if this so-called date goes well, she won't cause anymore paperwork for me."

* * *

Tai grumbled to herself as she sat in the rec room, boredly watching other Octarians as she sat by the table of her choice, rubbing a scratched section of her leg. Considering she was currently surrounded by nearly the entire army right now, it was generally less pleasant than normal. Each one who poked their heads too far into her personal space was smacked away, a gruff grunt courtesy of Tai each time she repelled an octopus.

"Whoa, excuse me." A voice called out from the crowd, the ever studious Octoling Chi stumbling through, gawking at Tai.

"Yo." Tai waved with a smirk.

"You're going out with an Inkling?! Dude, that's…wow!" Chi beamed.

Tai frowned. "I can speak this language AND Inkanese well enough, and yet I still don't get what you mean."

Chi cleared her throat, taking up a seat across from her. "Alright everybody, shoo! I have to discuss something with Tai, go to your bunks or something."

Reluctantly, the crowd of octopuses began leaving the rec room, shuffling past metal chairs and tables. As soon as the last tentacled trooper left the room, Chi stood up straight, staring straight at Tai, who backed away awkwardly.

"Why is everybody making such a huge deal over this?" Tai frowned.

"Tai, if you manage to establish a good relationship with an Inkling, then perhaps peace is within our grasp! We'll finally be able to live up there again!" Chi gushed.

Tai sighed. "I don't want to dash your dreams there, but I doubt it's gonna happen, Chi."

Chi's eyes expanded. "Wh-Why?"

Tai groaned, "Is everyone seriously counting on me to get hitched with an Inkling? Seriously?! Come on-" Tai stood up on the table, then raised her hands to her mouth, shouting, "Stop putting pressure on me, people! There's no guarantee I'll do it!"

Silence followed, but the scuttling of footsteps across the stainless steel floor meant they had definitely heard her. Rolling her eyes, Tai descended from the table, landing on her chair, with just as big as a frown as before.

"Cod." Tai groaned.

"But still, you wanna make a good impression Tai. Who knows, this encounter could mean stable relations. Nobody WANTS war." Chi explained.

"I do." Tai told Chi with a smirk, the other Octoling rolling her eyes in response. "Why are you so invested in this? It's not like you're going on a date. A test one at that."

"Okay, maybe I don't have any experience with that of the heart, but say I was in your shoes." Chi began, "There's an Inkling I like-"

"Who's the lucky squid." Tai said with a cheeky grin.

"There's no squid, okay? It's just a simulation." Chi explained.

"Well then, I'm not listening to you." Tai told her friend, leaning back in her chair.

"Tai, come on!" Chi cried out in exasperation.

"Give me a name, it'll be more believable." Tai explained.

Chi furrowed her brow, glancing away for a second. "Sharq. Okay, so-"

"Not Splin? Yeesh, that's harsh." Tai said with a grin.

"I don't like any of them, okay?!" Chi growled.

Tai took a sharp inhale through her beak, then scooted her chair backwards. "Wow, rude. You know, they tried their best to help us."

Chi glared at Tai irritably. "Look, I'm just trying to help."

"And I just wanted to go and mess with Aussie, but Ari had to mess everything up. How do you think I feel?" Tai blew her tentacle up into the air.

Chi's face scrunched up. "That doesn't mean you have to be such an insensitive, annoying jerk about this!"

Tai blinked, staring across at Chi. She was pouting as hard as one possibly could, with what appeared to be magenta tears threatening at her eyes. Tai sighed, sitting upright in her seat.

"Alright, alright, sorry." Tai huffed, "Just a little on edge."

Chi sniffled.

"Stop crying." Tai told her companion, who sniffled again, wiping at her eyes. "When did you become so sensitive?"

Chi attempted a glare, then sighed, crossing her arms, staring down at the table.

"Chi, if you're going to keep up being sad, then I'm going to have to use my… Special technique." Tai seemed to die a little inside after saying that, coughing.

Chi just furrowed her brow and continued staring at the floor, only a midge curious about Tai's so called "technique". "I'm fine."

Tai sighed, shivering slightly. "Okay. I didn't want it to come to this." Tai stood up, dusted herself off, and walked across the table.

As soon as she reached Chi's seat, she wrapped her arms around her, and gave her the tightest hug she could manage without dislocating any important organs. Still, Chi responded less than favorably, her eyes popping open, staring back at Tai's arms. Tai was gritting her teeth, her eye twitching, obviously not a fan of affection. After five seconds, Chi seemed to loosen up in Tai's grip, sighing contently. Tai then dumped Chi back on her chair, huffing.

"You happy yet?" Tai asked, shivering in discomfort.

Chi grinned. "Thanks."

"Okay!" Tai began backing away, "Don't expect any more from me." Tai stated simply, walking off staring at the floor, "Next thing you know, I'll have to hug you on the battlefield. Cod, everyone's being such a crybaby lately."

Chi blinked, staring at Tai curiously. "Hey, where are you going?"

"I'm going to make some renovations on 'her' room." Tai spoke up, walking off.

Chi watched as she departed from the rec room, leaving her alone in the empty room. Well, not completely alone.

"Shockwhisk!" A certain electric catfish cooed at her from its kennel.

"...Yeah." Chi nodded, staring at the door. "Tai... Hard as steel on the outside, still soft on the inside."

* * *

Ari was back in Octo Valley, strutting in his regular Jungle Hat, Varsity Jacket, and White Seahorses, his tentacles still neatly combed underneath his hat, glossy as well. He grinned, making his way over towards the kettles.

"Ariiii?" A voice called for him.

Ari blinked, glancing upwards. Across a thin line of ink stretching across the sky, laid a kettle of sorts. Tai sat on top of it, looking as beautiful as ever in his eyes, her irises shining bright with the sun. In reality, Tai waved to him, sitting on what appeared to be a hastily constructed kettle made of discarded shards of metal, one unpleasantly situated underneath Tai. Even still, she kept her cool, waving to Ari.

"Tai!" Ari called back.

"Why don't you come up here, then we can get started?" Tai offered, batting her again, nonexistent eyelashes.

The male Inkling could not help blushing wildly. He grinned a toothy grin, switched into squid form, and climbed up the delicate thread of ink connecting the platforms, eager to see what romance plans the Octoling his eyes were set on had in mind. Ascending through the ink, Ari could make out between shades and hues of orange, Tai dropping through the grates of the makeshift kettle entrance, already making her way through the murky darkness of the kettle. Ari made ripples as he jet through the string of ink even quicker, extremely excited at this point, hopping out of the ink stream as an orange squid, switching back to Inkling form, following Tai through the drainage pipe.

Falling through the pipe, Ari landed in a dark space. He blinked, attempting to peer through the blackness. Ari felt around at the ground, frowning. He felt an empty gap and instinctively pulled back, sitting down.

"Ah, sorry, I'll get the light." Tai's voice called through the darkness.

Soon afterwards, a bright light pierced the room, granting Ari sight. Though, it was hardly a sight for sore eyes. Multiple contraptions wrapped around tall pillars, which extended out of a dark pit, spikes, rapidly revolving conveyor belts, and laser beams. For the most part, Ari felt a mix between unrivaled terror, and a newfound, intense attraction to the Octoling. Said Octoling stood at the very back at the large room, standing on the tallest pillar, skimming through a book.

"Huh. So that's what she was reading." Tai muttered, attempting to stuff the book in her shirt. "...How do they manage to make that look so comfortable? Gah…" The Octoling groaned, taking the book out from her Octoling Armor, tossing it on the ground irritably. "Darn well-endowed women. Always getting the good benefits like awesome powers and book carrying."

Ari, simply standing there, gawked at Tai's machinery marvels. He cleared his throat, grinning happily. "This is astounding! Such craftsmanship! Truly a challenge course for the ages!"

"Flattery won't get you far, man." Tai told him, laying back on the pillar.

"...That's a joke. I get it! It's a subversion of my expectations, you don't actually expect me to get through this?" Ari laughed.

His laughter began dying out when Tai glared at him, picking up the book, humming to herself.

" _Ah crab! She's serious."_ Ari thought to himself.

Experimentally and with great care, Ari walked over to the first obstacle, a rapidly moving conveyor belt extending from his platform to the next in the obstacle course, tapping the top with his shoe. Scraps of the coveted material flew from the sole of Ari's White Seahorse into the air immediately, shortening his height unevenly.

"...Oh good grief." Ari muttered. "Tai, if we're going to make this work-"

"Make what work?" Tai asked nonchalantly, skimming through the book, which happened to be upside-down.

"You know, this? Us? ...You know, this relationship we have?" Ari asked, arching an eyebrow.

"...Yyyyyyeah. That's why I want you to get over here." Tai yawned, sitting down with a pout. "Look, Ari. If you're real serious about this, then I want you to prove it. No flirting, no dates. Just a test. I mean, I don't have time to devote myself to small fry dude. So, you can either man up-"

A thud resonated through the platform from behind Ari. Ari looked back, noticing a bright door space reaching into the steel hallways of the Octoling HQ.

"I gave the others the okay. So if you wanna leave…" Tai shrugged. "You know where the door was."

Ari gulped. Tai glared at him, not directly nor condescendingly, but with a type of impatience, an eagerness awaiting Ari's choice. The Inkling made his second step onto the conveyor belt. The belt scratched his other shoe, evening out his height, while at the same time discouraging Ari from pressing forward. With a sigh, Ari began trotting off backwards. Then, he heard the sound of light applause. Turning around, he could hardly believe his eyes when he noticed his fan happened to be the very same Octoling who had previously awaited his journey through the obstacle course.

"Nice job, you passed." Tai said, hopping from pillar to pillar with short Super Jumps. That made Ari feel somewhat stupid.

"What?" Ari tilted his head in confusion.

Tai landed in front of Ari with a smug grin. "That was the common sense challenge. You passed."

Ari stared behind Tai, watching the machinery slowly die out, falling into the abyss of the room, scraping and crashing of metal resonating from the pit. Ari frowned, staring back at Tai, whose foot was suspended midair near where the conveyor belt once wrapped around the platforms.

She shrugged. "Eh, just in case someone else needs to use the room later I guess."

"Sooo… Does this mean we're dating?" Ari asked with a grin.

Tai frowned. "...No."

"Aw." Ari sighed, his shoulders and tentacles drooping.

"Ari, you're pretty cool. You haven't ratted us out yet, you haven't been too rude besides tearing my armor off-"

"That was an accident." Ari blurted out, embarrassed.

"But I dunno if I'm gonna spend my time with someone who can't get past the first obstacle in a course like this- That." Tai pointed out, staring at the dark recesses of the room. "You're smart enough to go get yourself splatted between a conveyor belt, but I doubt you'd be able to handle the intense life I live. You passed the common sense test, but your wits and determination isn't exactly something I'd be proud of."

"I..." Ari sighed, making his way over to the door. "Guess you're right. I apologize, my beloved, for squandering your time."

"Hold it. I'm not finished." Tai shouted.

Ari blinked, turning around with a frown, then blinked again when he felt a weight on him. Tai leaned on his shoulder, staring him in the eyes.

"I'm still a bit unsure. We can still hang out. I can train you or something, make you less of a wimp, you know?" Tai told him.

Ari blinked. "So then that means-"

"You still have a chance, man. Don't waste it." Tai finished, then began walking away, giving a wave to Ari as she went. "Later. Don't stick around for too long."

Ari blinked, Tai leaving his sight. She left him alone in the room, light from above and the halls giving off a steady glow. He finally snapped out of his trance, then began making his way outside. Reaching the artificial light in the halls, he was greeted with stares from the octopuses that roamed the headquarters. He gulped. They stared unflinchingly, with a newborn's curiosity.

"Are you still here?" Tai shouted from the crowd, pushing her way through the wall of octopuses.

Ari kept his head down, making his way towards the exit. Slowly. Rolling her eyes, Tai walked over to Ari and pecked him on the cheek, eliciting shocked gasps from the other octopuses.

"Okay, go, shoo. I'm gonna take a nap, and your butt better be gone, capiche?" Tai asked, eyes half-lidded. "I'll hang out with you tomorrow."

Upon hearing that, Ari grinned, then returned the favor, landing a sneak attack on Tai's own cheek, then ran off with a snicker. Tai smirked, a light violet crossing her face. She then cleared her throat, glaring at the others.

"You too. Get outta here! I'm tired, and being cranky and tired is the last thing any of us want." Tai announced to everyone.

The octopus army burst into a random cheer. Among them was Chi and Aussie, who stood at the front of the line, clapping. Tai grimaced, took her Octoling Goggles, and smacked them on her face, tightening them as tight as she could, and made her way through the crowd, faking yawns and pushing away ecstatic octopuses.

* * *

AN: Think I'd write a real romance scene? Sorry. That's just tough love.

Make love reviews, not…war...reviews. (Suppose that's a counter-analogy to itself considering some writer's here can't prosper without one or the other when they usually only want one.) Thanks write n wrong for reviewing! Well, now that that sappy moment's over, let's journey back to the sea and see what our other protagonists are up to, eh?

Thanks for reading as always, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to prepare for Star Fox Zero.


	32. Sharq-Infested Waters Part 3

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Sharq-Infested Waters Pt. 3**

The two Inklings dashed across the wooden deck, overgrown tentacles onboard smashing and flailing nearby, splintering the wooden floor beneath their feet, water spraying up from the sea as the kraken rampaged on deck. Sharq skimmed the deck, searching for random objects to hurl at the kraken with. Objects included, but were not limited to:

A barrel, which shattered into pieces with a swing of the kraken's tentacles, the kraken's large beak screeching at Sharq as it did so. A lantern, which Sharq had intended to try and burn the kraken with. That was also destroyed, the flames scattered to far and too weak to be considered anything more than weak embers. Finally, he attempted tossing a plank of wood, which bounced harmlessly off of the kraken's eyelids. The kraken seemed to yawn.

"Come on! That should've been a crit!" Sharq shouted.

The kraken hardly took Sharq's video game knowledge as anything more than random insults, so he smacked the little captain across the deck, where he slammed into a room on the top.

"Sharq!" The two cried out.

The younger Inkling immediately shook his head, poking his head back out of the room, giving them a thumbs-up. The sound of irritated squawking from the room meant that Hueli must have fallen off his delightfully comfortable perch. A tentacles smashed into the room Sharq was in, sending Sharq reeling onto the deck, scrambling to Maria and Xarius's side, holding what appeared to be a wooden broom up for defense.

"You okay captain?" Xarius asked, glancing down at Sharq.

"Hey! How dare you break this ship! This ship is Xarius's, you can't just wreck it just because you want to!" Sharq cried out.

The older Inklings stifled a laugh at Sharq's supposed naivety. The kraken continued thrashing about, the other Inklings avoiding would be tentacle smacks as they lashed about. Xarius stared down at Sharq while Maria prepared her Splatterscope, aiming it at the kraken.

"Get him!" Sharq shouted.

"Is that an order, captain?" Xariu asked, steadying himself, his hand still on his brush's sheath.

"...I guess? Just go beat him up!" Sharq shrugged.

Xarius smirked, loosening his grip. "Any specific attacks while I'm at it?"

"No. Just try and slice it, you know." Sharq told Xarius, patting him on the back reassuringly.

"Hey, pirate, can you stop chatting and give me a hand over here, I'm getting-" Maria grunted, before she was promptly squashed by a tentacle.

"Oh no!" Sharq gasped, staring at the deck where Maria was squashed.

His fears were cast away with the brine of sea when Maria revealed herself to be alright, holding the kraken's tentacle up with her immense strength. She grunted, tossing the tentacle overboard, where it splashed into the water. She took aim once more, staring at the kraken's eyes, and shot, the burst of green ink scoring a direct hit in the eyes of the beast.

"Yes!" Maria grinned.

The kraken blinked, shut its eye, submerging itself under the sea. (Down where it's wetter, here take a sweater, under the sea) It soon reemerged from the blue, blinking, the ink from its eye completely washed away by the tide of the sea. It resumed slamming its tentacles on the ship, shaking the ship.

"No!" Maria grimaced.

"Uh, it's alright Maria!" Sharq shouted in an attempt to keep morale high.

Maria, completely unfazed, just smiled at Sharq. "Maybe your pirate friend can lend a hand. Ahem."

"Alright, alright. No need to get all huffy." Xarius told Maria, unsheathing his Inkbrush, which glowed with a crimson-orange sheen.

Xarius dashed, his body low, towards one of the tentacles assaulting the bow, slashing left and right as he ran, disrupting the tentacles' attacks on the ship. The appendages recoiled in pain, cuts running across their surfaces spewing black ink, while not wholly anatomically precise, still served as an indication of the amount of damage the kraken took. However, despite the kraken's new scars, the ocean-dwelling monster pressed on, shaking the mast and tearing the sails of the ship.

"Blast it all! Even if we did somehow slay the kraken, it'd probably take us down wit' it!" Xarius snarled.

"Ink doesn't seem to hurt it, either." Maria scowled, dipping herself in a puddle of green, recharging her ink, appearing once more to deliver another blast, which only managed to leave a small mark in its forehead. "If I were able to use some form of insurmountable power… You'd be dead already!"

"Hmm…" Sharq hummed, poking a shorter tendril strewn about the deck, which twitched slightly. "Do we have any other weapons on board? Any huge ones? That could, you know, reeeaaaaalllyy hurt this kraken?"

"What are you gettin' at, Sharq?" Xarius raised an eyebrow.

"You know, pirate weapons. Cannons…?" Sharq asked with a light smile.

Maria's face lit up, nodding with glee. "That's a great idea! We can take it out with a few volleys from a cannon!"

"Oy, oy! Who said we're the stereotype pirates who go about blasting other ships out o' the blue?! That's not how all pirates work!" Xarius frowned.

Sharq and Maria stared at the swordsman curiously, splinters and screeching in the background continuing.

"So you don't have cannons?" Sharq asked, tilting his head.

After a moment of quieter thrashing in the background, Xarius could only scowl.

"...There should be three on each side, port and starboard in the brig…" Xarius sighed in defeat, waving them off.

"Thank you." Maria waved.

"You heard him Maria! Let's go blow a giant squid up!" Sharq grinned, dashing down below into the brig of the ship.

Below in the brig of the ship, Sharq made his way through past tons of pirate lackeys, stopping by at the nearest open window, some grunts taking shelter. Noticing their day-elected seafaring leader, they shook their heads, all staring with wide eyes as Sharq scattered about the brig, searching it from head to toe.

"Quick! Someone get a cannon! Xarius said there were some down here!" Sharq ordered.

"But captain-" One of the other Inklings piped up nervously, Sharq spinning around.

"What's wrong? We need to help Xarius and Maria!" Sharq called out.

"Y-Yes, well, that's good 'n' all, but… The cannons are currently… Out of commission." The Inkling spoke shyly, staring down at the floor.

"Huh?" Sharq blinked, staring at her.

She bit her lip, then went over to a less lit area of the brig, darkened. Out of the darkness loomed a large tip prodding out of the dark.

"Ooh! Is that-" Sharq asked with gleeful curiosity.

"That is the cannon. But captain, unfortunately…" The Inkling grunt sighed, taking off her pirate bandana on her head, wiping her hands casually.

She jogged over to the cannon, the rumbling of combat still shaking the ship. With a grunt, she began pulling the so called cannon out, the light soon revealing what her cautionary words meant. Sharq blinked, staring at the ruined cannon. Its barrel and nozzle were rusted, and the set of wheels it was mounted on were misplaced and scratched. There was hardly any ammonition in sight too, the only sign of some were a set of mishapen, dented cannonballs with faded colors, rolling about after the cannon was brought into view.

Sharq stared at the cannon in a mixture of disappointment and awe. The Inkling crew member sighed.

"I'm sorry captain, we should've told you, we ain't really the type for large scale battles. We haven't used any cannons for a long time now." She stated, her bandana in her hands lowered as an apologetic act.

"That's fine!" Sharq beamed, hurrying behind the cannon, beginning to push it.

"Wait, you're still gonna use it?" She asked, Sharq nodding.

"I'm sure it'll work somehow!" Sharq cheered.

The pirate grunt remained silent as Sharq pushed up the lopsided artillery weapon up to the deck, frowning. The thrashing the kraken continued pressing on the ship shook the brig dangerously, the Inkling immediately opting to take shelter with her peers, hoping to wait this storm of tentacles out.

* * *

Maria gripped a tentacle in a tight "headlock", repeatedly punching the sucker on the tentacle, which at this point began resembling a bruised fruit. After deciding it had enough of Maria's knuckle sandwiches, it decided to take its anger out on the chef, reversing the headlock, wrapping around Maria, shaking and rattling her rapidly, then finally tossed her to the side, a disorientated Maria flying through the air above the ship. Landing in the sails, Maria bounced off the fabric, falling towards the wood below.

And landing safely into Xarius's arms. She shook her head, staring up at Xarius, who merely smirked, Maria smiling warmly back.

"...Alright, alright, you can let me go now." Maria laughed.

"You sure? You're still looking a wee bit dizzy there. Maybe I should lay you down to rest somewhere?" Xarius joked.

"Oh, and I'm the one who should watch my words?" Maria retorted.

The two laughed good heartedly.

* * *

While the two shared a good natured, friendly laugh, a certain swordsman elsewhere subconsciously screamed.

* * *

The two's banter was interrupted yet again by a tentacle, which dragged itself in the middle of the deck, the both of them stepping back in alarm. They stared up at the kraken, which glared at them, its tentacles poised to attack, all appendages pointed at the Inklings. Maria and Xarius stared down the kraken, a silent standoff aside from the waves washing across the boat ensuing. Once again, the quiet was broken, the rattling of wheels approaching from behind the two. They turned around, Sharq pushing the cannon towards them, the cannon barrel bouncing unsteadily.

"Hey! I found the cannon you were talking about Xarius!" Sharq called out across the deck.

"...We actually kept a cannon?" Xarius muttered, shaking his head. "Uh, nice work captain."

"Now we just need ammo." Sharq declared.

"What?!" Maria snarled, dodging another tentacle. "Sharq, there wasn't anything we could've used as ammo down there?!"

"Well, the cannonballs were all ruined." Sharq frowned. "Sorry."

"...Oy, don't you Inklings have some sort of new bomb technology you can use?"

"New?" Sharq tilted his head. "They've been around for a while, actually."

"Oy, I don't keep up with the times, captain." Xarius commented, slashing away at another tentacle which creeped up the side of the ship. "But yeah, that'll do. Better than that squirt gun at the very least."

With a frown, Maria spoke up. "Ink isn't harming it." Maria said in protest. "If it hasn't worked before, I doubt it will now. It's not like your brush is doing anymore than I am."

"If we do manage to score an explosive hit in its eye or maw… Who knows?" Xarius muttered, staring at the kraken. He then glared back at Maria. "Hey!"

"...Sharq." Maria muttered, smirking at Xarius in good humor, which he rolled his eyes at. "Get the cannon ready."

Sharq perked up, making his way behind the cannon, making sure to pivot the cannon to aim at the kraken. Maria's tentacles began glowing, her hand behind her back. Sharq opened the back of the cannon, exposing the barrel. Swiftly, Maria's tentacles glowed a bright green, the older squid stuffing Splat Bombs inside of the cannon with great speed. Soon after her luminescence wore off, Maria turned to Sharq, who shut the cannon barrel. A fuse sticking out the back of the cannon and a nod of the head from both adults was enough to motivate Sharq. Taking hold of the fuse, Sharq stared at the kraken, and uttered one taunt:

"Sorry, but we're in a hurry!" Sharq shouted, pulling on the fuse.

The cannon rumbled for a second, and the others feared that it had been long destroyed. Suddenly, the nozzle erupted, green ink and Splat Bombs alike burst out towards the kraken. Upon noticing the bombs, the kraken froze, its eyes widening. The ink and bombs smacked into his eyes, exploding, the impact enough to send the kraken reeling.

"Nice shot!" Xarius spoke up.

The kraken's tentacles removed themselves from the ship, all covering up the kraken in defense. Maria and Xarius glared at the larger squid, then were immediately surprised as to see each of the tentacles waving white flags somehow.

"Alright, alright, I surrender! Let up your assault, please!" The kraken wailed in a language decipherable to everyone onboard.

The revelation that the kraken could and was speaking was astounding. Nobody budged. Maria soon broke that state of stasis and aimed her Splatterscope at the kraken.

"Why were you attacking us?!" Maria demanded to know with a glare.

The kraken blinked, staring back at Maria dumbfounded. "...Odd. You don't seem to… Hold on a minute." The kraken cleared its throat experimentally, then spoke again, "Excuse me, miss?"

"...What?" Maria asked.

Maria's short response elicited a tremendous reaction from the kraken, the larger squid flailing its tentacles, holding two up to its face in shock.

"You can understand me?! Preposterous! These bloody pirates and their witchcraft are growing ever stronger! They're even growing tentacles!" The kraken shouted.

Xarius deadpanned. "And I thought I was out of touch."

"Growing tentacles? We've always had these." Sharq told the beast, sitting on the side of the cannon. "And can't you understand us too?"

"...Uh. So then, you're not…" The kraken blinked.

"We're not...humans, if that's what you're asking." Maria stated, the other two Inklings on deck glancing at her with odd looks.

After the brief explanation, the kraken seemed to lighten up. "Then the squids have overtaken the lands?!"

All of the Inklings stared at one another, nodding and shrugging in affirmation. This made the kraken very gleeful.

"Haha! Our kind has finally taken a step out of the water into uncharted territory! Evolution has spurred us forward!" The kraken cheered, waves forming due to his excited movements.

"So…you attacked the ship because you thought these… Humans were screwing about on-board?" Xarius asked with a frown.

"Ah. Apologies my brethren. You hit the nail right on the head." The kraken spoke, seemingly in an embarrassed tone. "I grant you passage through my domain. That is the least I can do to atone for my mistake."

"Uh, thanks!" Sharq spoke up, staring up at the kraken, "But you know, accidents happen. You don't have to be so hard on yourself."

"Young squid…thank you." The kraken murmured. "I suppose I'll just have to wait for a man-made vessel to pass by. Until then, I bid you all adieu."

With that said, the previously rabid kraken sunk beneath the waves, leaving the battered boat to itself, bubbles rising as the kraken fell. The adventurers on deck however could hardly believe that had just happened.

"That was kinda dumb." Sharq spoke up.

"..." Xarius frowned, shaking his head. "Krakens."

"Well, we managed to live. So that's a plus." Maria spoke calmly, stretching her arms.

Xarius nodded, looking over at the water. On the horizon, the sun began dipping lower than the clouds, sinking over the sea, the light fading from the land quickly. Xarius sighed, inspecting his ship. There were multiple tears in the sails, the wood was splintered everywhere, railings were smashed in, and it looked like a mess.

"So, how's about a break, yeah?" Xarius asked everyone.

"Okay! Where do I get to sleep?" Sharq asked, hopping off the cannon, which finally gave in to all of its stress, the wheels buckling under the weight of the gun.

"Sharq, you're the captain now. Go ahead, you can sleep in your quarters." Xarius spoke up, gesturing to the room Sharq was tossed in earlier.

Sharq frowned. "But then where will you sleep Xarius?"

Xarius blinked, looking about the deck. His eyes made their way up to the mast, where a ladder extended down the pole, a flat and steady enough looking lookout spot lying at the top. Sharq, having tracked Xarius's eyesight, stared up at the mast. Sharq pouted, then walked around, behind Xarius. Xarius blinked in confusion. Then he frowned when Sharq began pushing him.

"Oy! Sharq?!" Xarius yelped, Sharq continuing to push him towards the room.

"No buts Xarius! You've already done way too much for me, and as captain, I say you're going to sleep in your own bed!" Sharq announced, shoving Xarius into the room.

"Ah-"

"I'll see you in the morning!" Sharq called, before slamming the door on Xarius, Sharq dusting his hands off with a hint of pride.

The young Inkling grinned, beginning to ascend the mast via ladder, but was stopped by a questioning cough.

"What are you doing?" Maria asked, arching an eyebrow at Sharq.

"I'm taking Xarius's place. He doesn't have to sleep in the cold now!" Sharq smiled.

Maria huffed. "Sorry Sharq, but I can't let you do that."

"Why not-" Sharq began, then Maria smiled.

"Not unless I come with you to keep you company." Maria grinned at Sharq, who stayed on the ladder.

"Oh. Okay! That's fine." Sharq said, resuming his climb.

Maria beamed, then followed Sharq up to the mast, the ocean breeze beginning to pick up. As soon as Sharq made it up, he switched to a squid and laid on the side of the lookout spot's enclosed railing wall. When Maria made it up however, she took Sharq, wrapped her tentacles around him, and yawned.

"Just to make sure you won't get cold." Maria told Sharq with a polite smile. "Y-You know."

"Thanks Maria…" Sharq yawned, resting back on Maria. "Do you think Splin is still alright back at home?"

Maria stared up at the sky. Hints of red and orange glowed as the sun dipped below the horizon. She sighed, nodding, a reassured yawn passing out of the younger squid, before he was taken in by the comforts of slumber. Soon, Maria felt herself begin to tire, and the two, on top of the pirate ship, began to doze off, awaiting the next day, whether on sea or land.

* * *

As the others dozed off, Xarius sat inside of the captain's room, a desk stacked with charts and maps of all sorts assorted messily on the desk. Hueli, the macaw, sat perched on a potted plant, sleeping peacefully. Xarius stared down at the paper, overlooking his desk. His eyes gravitated towards something else perched upright on the table. A picture frame, of a Xarius from beforehand, not a scar to be seen on his face, nor any pirate garb to be seen, standing next to a shorter, female Inkling. Xarius sighed, staring at the frame, then planted the picture frame face down, standing up, and walked off, planning to retire for the night.

* * *

AN: That wraps up the kraken. Ancient sea monsters don't have newspapers, so I'd assume that some wouldn't get the memo that humanity has been extinct for quite some time. That's what inspired the kraken. Also, as of late, I appear to be in some hot water with the Shared Universe group. I don't really understand why yet, but I'll figure it out soon enough. In the meantime, I might have to let up on the mentions of Maria and other characters from other stories, which is somewhat troubling.

Well, now that that's over and done with, reviews are on the menu. Thanks Ultrapyre and write n wrong for reviewing! Who knows what Tai is feeling, Ultrapyre? I suppose a bit of an in depth look at her would have to suffice later on. Apologies write n wrong, but the Sharq and Chi pairing is not to come to fruition, simply a bit of a tool Chi was trying to use to get her point across.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to try and earn a golden watering can in Animal Crossing, see you l


	33. Dreams and Whatnot

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Dream Tour of a Lifetime**

Sharq snuggled into what he thought was Maria, finding comfort in her soft tentacles. He yawned, slowly opening his eyes. He blinked, staring across a blank plane of white, nothing else in sight. Slowly and steadily, he switched from his squid form back to an Inkling, looking around curiously. He began walking aimlessly, looking to and fro, a hum constantly on his lips.

"Hmm. This place is pretty empty." Sharq observed.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Ari spoke up. "Rather optimal for my training, though, wouldn't you agree?"

"Huh?!" Sharq gasped, turning around, spying the orange tentacled teenager standing across from him with a grin.

"Aha! Dream rival! This is perfect!" Ari pounded the open palm of his left hand with his fist, smirking.

"Oh! A dream? That's what this is?" Sharq commented, staring about the white space they were currently in, "That makes sense."

"Indeed!" Ari smirked. "The perfect battleground to test my skills! Rival, unsheath your roller, let us commence battle!"

"Roller? Right now?" Sharq asked, raising his hand. He blinked, staring at a fully sized Carbon Roller. "Whoa!"

Turning around and reaching at his back, he felt a glossy surface. Feeling around it, he realized it was the perfect shape and size to be an Ink Tank hooked up to his back. Patting his shoulders, he felt the green straps of said Ink Tank to be attached as well. Blinking, he smirked, turning to Ari, raising the roller.

"I mean, I guess if it's a dream, sure!" Sharq smirked. "I've been wanting to battle like this for a while! Have some fun, you know?"

Ari nodded. "I agree. This is the perfect time for me to test my skills and get my mind off of my romance issues!"

"...Yeah!" Sharq halfheartedly agreed with a confused nod.

"Alright, shall we then?" Ari smirked, reaching behind him, taking a Carbon Roller of his own out. "I wish to practice in this dream, then apply it to reality."

"Okay! That sounds fun!" Sharq grinned.

Ari smiled. _"This projection of my rival is so lifelike. This dream battle will be one to remember!"_

As Ari thought this, he raised his roller, Sharq mirroring his stance. The two grinned in the white space, despite the dream realm being somewhat odd and the encounter less than normal, they pushed its oddities to the ends of their minds. All one their minds was the glorious contest of battle against one another. Gripping the roller handles, they charged at each other, the rollers dripping orange and blue respectively as they dashed, grinning happily.

* * *

Splin frowned as he walked. This was about the fifth time since he had grown ill that he's seen this barren wasteland. Well, wasteland would be a long shot, as on his way through this dream realm, he swore he saw a pair of capped men in karts, a blue hedgehog traverse the landscape, and other squids playing in orange and blue. Then, as he made his way through, he thought he saw them again. Only, this time they were familiar faces.

"Hyaaaaah!" Ari yelled, bringing his roller down on Sharq, which Sharq blocked, shivering somewhat under the weight of the other roller.

"N-Nice attack!" Sharq grinned, pushing Ari off of him, "My turn!"

Sharq smacked Ari with the side of his roller, sending the other Inkling flying. He yelped, spinning in the air, bouncing around the white arena.

"Wow!" Sharq grinned, "Does that count as a home-run?"

Splin watched from a distance, shaking his head. "Fever dreams."

Splin began walking off while he assumed the other two were whacking each other with glorified building brushes when he heard someone dashing up behind him. Blinking, he turned around, blinking in surprise.

"Willie?" Splin asked.

Willie, in all of his hardly mentioned glory, stood a few centimeters over Splin, (about an inch) grinning. Splin backed away a bit, then sighed in relief.

"Fancy seeing you here, Music Man!" Willie spoke, adjusting his glasses. "Guess you could say I've got you on my mind, eh?"

"...Willie, that was…" Splin sighed, shaking his head.

"Eh, I gave it my best shot." Willie shrugged, "Hey, where's your headphones by the way? I might just have to call you 'Man'."

Splin reached at his head, grasping nothing but his tentacles. He then reached for the back of his neck, finding nothing there either.

"...I fell asleep without my headphones. Hmm. Wouldn't expect a dream to apply sense." Splin muttered.

"Guess that's attention to detail, huh?" Willie grinned, leaning on nothing.

"What are you doing here anyways?" Splin asked.

"You know, I fell asleep? How else?" Willie told him, "I was tired...and...exhausted from work."

Splin eyed him curiously, Willie glancing away absentmindedly as a result, scanning the white area aimlessly.

* * *

In reality, Willie was asleep on his apartment bed. An irritated looking Zip, the shadows from her Sporty Bobble Hat covering her face. She had her arms crossed in frustration, the bed sheets covering the two from head to toe for reasons that should not be disclosed in a "T" rated story.

* * *

Willie blinked, staring at Splin, a bead of sweat dripping down his face in spite of himself. Splin simply shrugged, beginning to walk off.

"Okay, well, I suppose if it's my fever dream, anything can happen." Splin said with a shrug, walking off.

Shaking his head, Willie began walking alongside Splin as they traversed the dreamscape, two other Inklings sparring in the distance unbeknownst to him. At least until one of them smashed into the ground next to him, dazed from the impact.

"Whoa…" Sharq said, stumbling about, shaking his head to relieve the dizziness. "That was fun! I'll be right-"

Sharq turned around, spying the other two Inklings in the realm of dreams. He began grinning upon spotting his younger brother.

"Splin!" Sharq cried out, running up to his brother, tackling him to the ground.

"Gah! Oh Cod, I'm being attacked!" Splin gasped out in shock.

Willie watched as Sharq smothered his younger brother gleefully, shaking his head. "Here I thought I could be amorous… But Shadey really takes the cake."

True to his observation, Sharq could not stop rubbing his cheek up against Splin's shoulders. Splin, blushing terribly, got up and pushed Sharq off of him.

"Sheesh, my fever dream's version of my brother hugs tighter than the real one. Calm down there Sharq." Splin muttered.

"Sorry Splin," Sharq said, smiling, "I just haven't seen you in a while since I've gone on that pirate ship adventure!"

"Pirate ship… Yeah, I'll bite." Splin muttered. "What's this 'pirate ship' you mentioned?"

Sharq tapped his chin. "It's this whole adventure for treasure me, Maria, and Xarius are on! We're going to get enough gold to build a hospital to cure you!"

"...That actually sounds somewhat believable." Splin blinked. "You said Maria was with you?"

"Yeah. She and I fell asleep on the ship, we're riding the waves as we speak bro!" Sharq said, leaning on Splin's shoulder."

"Man, sounds like you two have been having a great time." Willie whistled, "Wish I was there."

"I've been home sick. Although you should probably… Huh. For a subconscious collection of mind images… You seem pretty sentient." Splin muttered, looking from Inkling to Inkling.

"Well, obviously." Ari said, running along with his roller dripping orange behind him, "Only the best for my mentality."

"...Hmm." Splin muttered, closing his eyes, "We can't possibly be… Are we?"

"We're all asleep at the same time? Cool!" Sharq grinned.

"How does that work?" Willie arched an eyebrow, looking around. "Is it like a man bond type of deal?"

Just then, an Inkling with pink tentacles flashed into existence, landing on the ground with a squeak. Sitting cross legged on the ground, a full SQUID GIRL attire on her person. Everyone stared at her, to which she shrunk to under their gazes.

"E-Eek! I'm s-sorry, I didn't mean to i-interrupt! Oh, wake up wake up wake-" She quickly panicked, vanishing in thin air.

"...Okay, well, Aqua's little visit clearly rules out the guys only rule." Willie pointed out with a chuckle.

"Oh yeah. Why haven't we been seeing her around lately?" Splin muttered to himself.

"Perhaps she's intimidated by the fact the one who had flirted with her has a partner now. Talk does get around quickly." Ari smirked proudly.

Sharq blinked, staring at Ari. "You have a partner?"

Ari glared at Sharq, his eye twitching. "Remember?! She pecked me on the nose, then on the cheek!"

"...Oh! ...When did Tai kiss you on the cheek?" Sharq asked.

"She just did okay!" Ari shouted.

"Whoa! Ari, you actually HAVE a girlfriend?" Willie asked with a grin, "Dang, I thought you were kidding!"

Ari blushed in indignation, glaring at Willie. "What makes you think I was joking?!"

Ari continued ranting on his love affairs, attempting to get the other Inklings to believe him, which was a great deal of difficulty as he continued dodging Willie's "Where does she live?" or "What does she look like?" questions, Sharq watching the two with an interesting only a young squid could have. Splin on the other hand stared at the white expanse above, below, and to the side of him, his eyes closed.

" _How is this possible? Are we all really asleep at the same time? Are we sharing a collective consciousness?"_ Splin wondered.

You tell me.

Splin blinked, staring up at the sky, which again, was nothing but a blank palette. _"Voice, what's going on? Why haven't I heard from you lately, either?"_

Classified! You should find out for yourself, learn by doin', amirite?

Splin frowned. _"Aren't you helpful."_

"Hmm." Splin muttered, staring at the three, Ari still attempting to explain his romance endeavors.

"...She's a cunning girl, she and I are still in a bit of a standstill." Ari finished, crossing his arms.

Sharq smiled blissfully. "That's great! When are you two going on an actual date?"

"Dude, I don't see anyone going to the trouble of challenging YOU to test your compatibility. Pretty farfetched." Willie grinned, "I should know, in all the time Zip and I were together, we never had anything like that happen."

Just then, the space shook a bit, Willie looking somewhat frazzled after the minor tremor of sorts that disrupted the dreamscape. He shivered, causing the other boys to stare at him in confusion.

"Oh geez. That's uh… Zip's calling me." Willie chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, "I uh… I'll catch you all later!"

With that said, Willie blinked out of existence. Splin and Sharq shrugged, waving to where Willie previously was, Ari smirked, looking from each one of the other Inkling brothers.

"So, you two ready for a second round?" Ari asked, slamming his roller on the ground with a grin.

"...Uh, sorry Ari, I think I'll retreat to my own dream. If that's even possible." Splin said, a fist placed under his chin in thought.

"I need to see how Maria's doing, and if we're close to the treasure yet." Sharq explained, beginning to walk off.

"Aw, come on!" Ari pouted, "This is the only time I get to- Ahem, this is the only time I can allot for practice! If I can perfect my skills in a dream, it'll be much easier for me in reality."

Splin glanced away, frowning. "Sorry."

"Yeah, I need to help Splin get better… Sorry." Sharq told the teenager.

The two brothers began walking off, Ari scowling behind him. Sighing, Ari planted his roller into the ground irritably. The cracking noise that resulted had them all freeze. From where Ari had planted his roller into the ground, a crack growing in size from the initial impact. Ari gulped. The two brothers' reactions, judging by their facial expressions, ranged from a reflection of Ari's nervous mien, that would be Sharq, the other shrugging it off, sighing. The crack burst open, revealing a great hole, which began consuming the boys.

"Here we go again." Splin sighed, shaking his head.

"Ari, what did you do?!" Sharq shouted, the vortex growing louder into a wail.

"I didn't know this place was this fragile!" Ari protested.

That was all they could manage to say before they were swallowed by the vortex. The vortex, after devouring a group of young Inklings, took a napkin from seemingly nowhere, wiping its nonexistent maw.

* * *

The three Inklings found themselves sliding through a dark passageway, the glow of light a mere suggestion as it dimly lit the tunnel, increasing in brightness only as they slid through. Eventually, they reached a circle in the earth, which glowed. The three slid right up through the entrance, blinking. They found themselves in Octo Valley, the sky a duller blue than normal. Though, aside from the coloration of the sky, something was a bit off.

"Agents A, B, C, and D?"

At the mention of their code-names, the three Inklings flinched, scrambling and shifting their heads. Cap'n Cuttlefish stood in front of his makeshift shack, accompanied by a large Splatoon of other Inkling squids, most garbed in advanced Hero gear, neon greens and black numbering large among the crowd. However, among them, a select few appeared to be garbed in regular clothing in stark contrast to the rest of the crowd.

Attempting to appear dignified, Ari simply smiled and cleared his throat, "Uh- Hmm? What is it?"

Cap'n Cuttlefish sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head, waving the three off. "Ah, nothing. Just go back to your usual roles, urgh…"

The three glanced at each other, then shrugged, retreating back into the pipe, leaving the Octo Valley behind.

"What do you think that was? A meeting maybe?" Sharq suggested as he slid alongside his brother.

"Perhaps. The ways of those Inkling agents are rather odd. …Although, this IS supposed to be a dreamscape. Maybe it was some collective delusion of our imaginations?" Splin hypothesized.

Ari shook his head. "No. My version of Octo Valley would be much more dignified, less riff-raff."

"I feel like I'm missing out." Sharq sighed, shaking his head.

"Maybe we made the right call. After all, who knows what could've happened? One of them could've transformed into some eldritch abomination." Ari proposed, glancing back at the light of the open manhole.

Splin blinked. "These references…"

The other two stared over at Splin curiously. He shook his head, blinking again and again.

"Sorry. Just thinking around." Splin coughed, staring away.

"Don't worry Splin, when I get treasure, I'll be sure to help you with your sick brain too!" Sharq smiled.

Splin frowned. "Gee thanks, **older** brother."

"No problem!" Sharq beamed, patting Splin on the forehead.

"Hey, wait, if we're returning from the pipe, does that mean we'll come out the-" Ari began.

* * *

The hole in the white space of the ground spat out three Inklings, who bounced around the white space wildly. Ari yelped as he felt himself fall into yet another hole next to the one he was previously sucked into and expelled from, thought this one was considerably larger, and instead led to a brighter light rather than a dark void, Splin and Sharq tumbling about the empty dimension of sleep.

* * *

Ari woke up with a start, gasping for breath in the middle of night. Sleeping in a bed next to him, another Inkling stirred, groaning somewhat.

"Ari, if you want to start your midnight monologue, please be quieter this time…" Sari sighed under her bed sheets.

* * *

Splin and Sharq fell through yet another tube, Splin frowning. Sharq switched to his squid form and swam in freefall aimlessly.

"This is practically the norm now, isn't it?" Splin sighed, shaking his head. "Good grief."

"Well, look on the bright side! If this is normal, then there's not much you can get surprised by, right?" Sharq told Splin, reverting back to Inkling form, his cap slowly drifting off of his head during the fall.

"...I suppose you're right. Still doesn't help this is the umpteenth time something bizarre has happened." Splin sighed, shaking his head.

Soon afterwards, the two noticed the tunnel seemed to be coming to an end, a dim light illuminated at the end of the tunnel. The two left the endless tunnel, traveling through a starry sky. The dim light of twilight illuminated an eerie looking graveyard, blank tombstones littering the grass.

"...Eee. This is creepy." Sharq muttered.

"If we get jumpscared by a skeleton or something, I want you to pinch me as hard as you can Sharq. The last thing I need on my conscious is fright." Splin sighed.

"But you hardly ever get scared Splin! Remember Shalloween?" Sharq told him.

"That skeleton was too friendly. The man on fire was life threatening at the most." Splin explained.

"Hmm." Sharq hummed.

The two landed on the grass, which was surprisingly soft compared to the landings they had to endure most of the time. Sharq's Takoroka Mesh landed behind him, which the older brother picked up quickly and placed on his head. Splin quickly attributed to the fact they were in a dream, and began walking through the graveyard, Sharq following closely behind him. They walked through the graveyard, staring at the gravestones. Eventually, they began to take shape, some of the tombstones engraving names into themselves. Sharq took it upon himself to read one of them aloud.

"'Danny',... Huh." Sharq read.

Splin continued. "'Jonathan'... How puzzling. I don't believe I would know any of these people."

"...Maybe we stumbled into someone else's dream this time?" Sharq suggested with a shiver.

"If that's the case, I think we should tread lightly." Splin muttered.

Sharq nodded. The two continued through, silently reading other names that would spoil games and series that could entice angry mobs to run me down for doing so. Eventually, they found one last tombstone at the head of the cemetery. Two Inklings stood in front of the slate, one kneeling down with her hands on her face, the other staring at the stone solemnly. Gulping Splin began edging away, Sharq doing the exact opposite, walking up to them.

"Sharq!" Splin whispered frantically, "This could be some sort of funeral, you might be bothering them! Even if it is a dream, who knows how angry they could be."

Sharq gave Splin a reassuring smile, then continued walking closer. Splin frowned, gritting his teeth, then quickly began advancing to catch up with him. Soon he found that he and Sharq were already behind the two, the sobbing Inkling having quieted down a bit.

"Um, are you okay?" Sharq asked carefully.

In shock, she raised her fists, turning about swiftly. The brothers yelped, both defending themselves with their arms, (and to an extent their legs) when she paused mid swing. Maria, tears still streaming down her face, stared at the two in surprise.

"S-Splin? Sharq?" She asked in an uncharacteristically meek voice.

"Maria?" The two asked at once.

"I'm sorry!" She shouted, pulling the two brothers into an embrace. "Y-You scared me."

The two brothers blinked. Maria's apology certainly took the breath out of their mouths. Behind her, a tall, familiar figure stared back at them, chuckling ever so slightly.

"...Um, Ix, right?" Sharq greeted Maria's other child.

Ix gave an awkward wave towards the brothers as his mother glomped the two, dressed in a suit of mourning for a bit of an obvious reason. A sadness in his eyes betrayed his friendly smile. Splin and Sharq blinked. Ix made a bit of a point as to point with his tentacles, nodding his head sadly. The two stared past Ix at the gravestone. Upon reading the plain inscription, they stared towards each other, nodding solemnly.

"Rem." They read.

"...I'm sorry." Splin muttered.

"Yeah." Sharq looked at the dirt.

Ix nodded, walking off into the distance. Before the other two could comprehend it, Ix faded into the shadows, a squid silhouette vanishing into the grass. Maria suddenly loosened her grip and glared at Splin.

"That tears it. As soon as I wake up, I am going to do everything in my power to help Sharq. I can't lose anymore people in my life." Maria told Splin, tears drying up, a few dripping down her face still.

"Uh, Maria, I honestly don't think I feel that sick-" Splin began, but Maria would not hear any of it, standing up.

"Come on Sharq, we're waking up." Maria told Sharq, standing up, dragging Sharq along.

"Uh, okay! Bye Splin! We're going to wake up, I guess?" Sharq said, waving to his younger brother.

Splin blinked, watching as Maria dragged his brother into darkness, the two vanishing. Silently, he stared in confusion, sighing, shaking his head.

"...I don't think I can say much on your behalf, I didn't know you well, but you were Maria's daughter… So…uh…" Splin muttered, staring down at Rem's supposed dream tombstone. "...Sorry for...your demise?"

"Don't sweat it squid." Rem told Splin, standing next to him with a grin, her multiple tentacles patting him on the shoulder.

"Wait, what?!" Splin yelped, turning to Rem in bewilderment.

* * *

Instead of Rem, he met the orange tentacles of another Inkling altogether, a worried Ann-Gel staring down at him. He recognized the feel of his bed sheets and mattress, as well as the dawn light streaming in from the hole in the roof. Splin blinked, light flowing through the hole in the roof. He yawned, which was all he could manage for a "good morning" to the little amiibo standing above him.

"Oh, geez, you're alright." Ann-Gel sighed in relief. "Dude, you were spazzing out in your sleep, what were you dreaming about? I was just about to ask Tele-Cube to bring out the defibrillators."

At the sound of that term, Splin blinked, staring down across from his bed. Raising the electrical revival devices in the air, Tele-Cube sat, sheepishly retracting its metallic appendages into its cubic shell. Splin breathed a sigh of relief, sitting back on the pillows, closing his eyes.

"H-Hey, wait, I wanted to wake you up for breakfast! Don't fall asleep again! Splin!" Ann-Gel cried out.

Too late. Splin was already sound asleep yet again. Ann-Gel scowled, then sighed, hopping off of Splin's bed. The Tele-Cube retrieved its defibrillators, nudging Splin suggestively, hoping to awaken the boy.

"Nah, just let him sleep. He's probably exhausted from being sick or something. I don't know how real Inklings work." Ann-Gel admitted with a shrug.

Unsatisfied, Tele-Cube managed a huff, before once again stowing its defibrillators away, the two leaving Splin to explore the dreamland once again.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sharq was waking up from his nightbound endeavors, yawning as the scent of the sea drifted past his nose.

"Oy, Captain! Can you give me a hand with something- Hey! Gettin' down here quickly would be nice!" Xarius' voice rang out.

Sharq shook his head, switching from his blue squid form back into his Inkling form from the previous position last night, stretching. Sharq patted down his hat, and began descending the top of the ship's mast, seagulls flocking about the mast and sails lazily as he left the mildly comfortable wooden perch. As soon as he made it on deck, Sharq noticed Xarius sitting by the mast with a hint of annoyance in the air around the former pirate captain.

"What's up Xarius?" Sharq greeted.

"Mornin' captain. Now, I'm not usually one to diagnose fevers and all the like, but Maria… She's taken the ship's wheel and is rather determined to get to that treasure. A wee bit more than I am for the liking, to be honest." Xarius admitted, rubbing the back of his head.

"Well, what's wrong with that? Isn't it a good thing for us to be continuing on?" Sharq asked.

"Take a look at the water by the starboard." Xarius pointed out.

Sharq turned. A crest of water was being pushed up, rushing past the wooden ship. Sharq blinked, becoming slowly aware of the speed the ship was travelling at.

"We must be accelerating five knots a second at this point. I swear, that woman…" Xarius shook his head.

Sharq stared up at where he presumed the ship wheel was. Maria was at the head, staring ahead vigilantly, the ship inexplicably speeding up to match her attitude at the moment.

"...Well, I guess we'd better hold on tight then." Sharq commented.

"Mhm." Xarius muttered.

The ship swerved through the sea, a blur in the blue as it moved forward, regardless of any common sense whatsoever.

* * *

AN: Apologies for the delay, I had a bit of important business to attend…to… *pushes birthday gifts to the side* Maria's off captaining the ship, cameos in the dream world, and other stuff, only on Nintendo Wii U. Or something.

Reviews are like the sea. Except not at all. Thanks write n wrong, Ultrapyre, and Dancing Mann for reviewing!

I'm glad you could understand that the pairing wasn't happening, write n wrong! Ultrapyre, yes, alarm clocks in this particular universe have always been a somewhat off. I still haven't really figured out this whole "Shared Universe" drama, but I suppose we'll just have to hope for the best, eh? Dancing Mann, no offense taken! Heh heh. :3

Thanks for reading once more, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to pratice my Pokkén Tournament skills, see ya.


	34. Sharq-Infested Waters Part 4

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Sharq-Infested Waters Pt. 4**

The water of the ocean splashed across the bow of the ship. At the rate Maria was captaining the speeding vessel, the entire ship might have been flooded worse than the one that had eliminated humans. The area the steering wheel on was located just above the water, and the other Inkling pirates, knowing their chances of survival lie above water, crowded Maria, Sharq and Xarius standing safely on top of the mast. Maria frowned, staring across the water.

"I haven't seen land for a while! Xarius, where did you say the treasure was?" Maria asked aloud, shouting.

Xarius' eyes narrowed. Staring straight ahead, the clouds appeared to be zipping past. Save for a select few. His eyes widened.

"Slow down!" Xarius shouted.

Maria blinked, pulling back on the wheel. Inexplicably, the ship skidded to a halt, sparks raining from the wood and water. Xarius frowned at the lack of logic, but shook his head, putting it to the side. While the hull did not catch fire or anything, it did slam into something, the ship jolting back from the impact. The crew on-board fell onto the deck, which at this point had been drained of most of the water, slamming into the soaked wood below, groaning. Maria apologized quickly, Xarius staring straight ahead, glaring. Sharq followed his glare, albeit in a curious fashion.

"What's wrong?" Sharq asked.

"The barrier." Xarius frowned, "This is what keeps us from that treasure on that island.

Sharq blinked, staring ahead. Smokey clouds hovered over the island, staying in place. Waves in the middle of crashing on the shore of the island were stuck in limbo, drops of saltwater dripping down under the waves' crest. Palm tree leaves stayed still while wind shook around the Inklings, making a few of them shiver.

"We've come this far." Xarius smirked, staring down at Sharq, "Now's your time to shine captain."

"Oh. Okay, what do I do?" Sharq asked.

Xarius walked towards the bow of the ship, signaling Sharq to follow him using his hand. Sharq obeyed, tailing behind him curiously. The two walked up onto the bow that jutted out towards the sea, Maria staring at them cautiously. Xarius unsheathed his Inkbrush, handing it to Sharq, who took it lightly, running his hand over the hilt.

"Hmm." Sharq hummed, the brush shifting from a red color to blue in an instant.

"If you strike the barrier, you should be able to break it." Xarius told Sharq.

"...Why can't you do it again?" Sharq asked, looking up to Xarius.

The older Inkling glanced away in shame. "I lost my honor a while ago. I'd tell ya, but…"

Xarius reached at the scar on his face, gritting his teeth. Sharq blinked, patting Xarius on the back solemnly, Xarius grinning at Sharq in response.

"The barrier only accepts those pure of heart. What's purer than a young squid?" Xarius told Sharq.

"That's smart thinking!" Sharq smirked, raising the brush, "Alright, barrier, prepare to break!"

Sharq pointed the brush at the barrier, edging closer. And closer. And closer. Xarius tilted his head at Sharq's antics, to which he turned, grinning sheepishly to Xarius, lowering the brush.

"Could you...um, teach me how to fire the ink from this thing?" Sharq asked.

Xarius laughed. "That's a new one!"

Xarius stooped down to Sharq, taking his hands as he still held the Inkbrush like a cutlass, Sharq staring attentively. The grunts onboard watched by boredly, some yawning as seagulls flocked overhead.

"Just raise it in the air for a moment, an' launch it forward. Simple." Xarius explained, getting to his feet.

Sharq frowned, raising the brush over his head, its slim blue colored bristles shining with a sort of a light. Sharq grinned, lowering it, then slashed, a crescent-shaped projectile formed of ink launched out of the brush. It collided with the invisible barrier, the ink splatting across the side. The crew waited patiently, Maria gawking at the sight as she stood vigilant over the wheel. The blue ink, as if it had a mind of its own, shivered then spread, growing across the barrier, the now blue and visible blockade growing into a dome shape. As soon as the blue encompassed the entire area, the dome shattered, blue ink splashing off into the water.

Maria blinked, staring up at the sky and the island. "Incredible…"

The clouds resumed their steady crawl across the sky and the sea resumed its barrage on the sand. Leaves floated down from the palm trees on the beach, the sand glistening under the sun. Xarius grinned at Sharq, who cheered, pumping his fist in the air.

"Perfect! Thanks Xarius!" Sharq commented, giving the brush back to the pirate.

"Ah, 'twas nothing. We must make haste for the island now that the barrier's down." Xarius told him, staring ahead.

"Of course! We need to get that gold soon." Sharq nodded.

Xarius stared across the water over the side of the ship, nodding. "Right. The...gold."

Sharq nodded again, turning around towards the back of the ship, Maria still staring at the motion of nature resuming its course. "Maria, full steam ahead!"

Maria shook her head, tying her tentacles behind her in a neat bow, rolling up her short sleeves. "Right."

"Oy, wait, how are you speeding up the ship?" Xarius asked.

Maria stared down at her hands. A bit of green flickered from them. She simply grinned.

"It must be magic." Maria spoke up with a smug grin.

"Ah, whatever." Xarius waved her off.

Maria chuckled to herself, pushing on the wheel slightly. The ship arched under her command, speeding ahead, creating waves. The seagulls on the sails and mast cawed their protests before flying off in formation, still hovering over the ship as it sailed, desperate to keep their beloved perch. Maria continued on with the high speed sailing, unfortunately a bit too absorbed in her actions.

"The island's approaching a bit faster than I thought." Maria blinked, her eyes shooting open as she realized they were homing in particularly quickly.

Sharq and Xarius groaned, both of them stuck to the back of the boat while the speed of the sails carried all of them dangerously swiftly. Sharq's cap nearly flew off, but the extreme willpower of his tentacles under the cap prevented it from doing so like in his dream endeavors, though Xarius' various pirate garbs flying into each others' faces was not a very pleasant substitute. Maria stomped on the ground, attempting to slow the ship down using whatever "magic" she had.

"Aaaugh!" Sharq cried out as everyone on board was launched onto shore.

"Brace for impact!" A crew member yelled out, holding onto her bandana cap.

Maria and Xarius landed on the beach, the trail they made as they crashed comparable to that of a meteorite crash landing. They sputtered and coughed, Maria removing sand from her Golf Cap and White Tee, shaking sand off. Xarius took his Inkbrush, waving it around him, all the sand from him dripping off like ink. Maria stared at him.

"Oh, what?!" Maria shouted in indignation, gesturing to his clothes, which Xarius brushed off.

"Magic." Xarius retorted.

"Hmph. And I can't shoot ki anymore? He gets a special Inkbrush with ink prowess. How is that fair?" Maria asked aloud.

It's fair and balanced. Wouldn't want you busting holes in buildings, would we?

"Oy, look at it this way Maria, least you get to speed up ships. Wouldn't know about shooting… Keys. Though I can't say I see the appeal in doin' that."

Maria rolled her eyes, trudging forward towards the dense brush ahead of them. She glanced over at Sharq as to silently notify him they were going in. Sharq, being the Sharq he is, was already about ten steps ahead of her and counting, dashing into the jungle of the island. Maria blinked, then took up dashing after him.

"...You just goin' to leave me behind, eh?" Xarius shook his head, staring back at the ship.

Xarius looked back at the crew members of the ship, who smiled back at him, a few still getting used to the land and sea, some patching up the hull of the ship after Maria's helpful albeit somewhat destructive tactic.

"Go on Xarius. I know you've been waiting a while for this." The ever prevalent female with the bandana cap said, dusting off her cap.

"The ship though?" Xarius pointed out.

"We'll take care of 'er. Go get 'em captain. I know Sharq's been chosen as the substitute, but-"

"Thanks Rosili." Xarius nodded, waving to her, then ran into the cluster of trees.

"No worries! Make sure to bring them all back safely!" Rosili shouted, Xarius disappearing in the trees.

* * *

Sharq prowled through the ground in squid form, slowly sliding on through the dirt. He slithered up a tree like a snake, attaching one tentacle to it while he stared through the brush with narrowed eyes, his other tentacle shading his eyes in a salute-like pose. He searched, specifically for a glint of anything shiny. A flash in the distance confirmed his suspicions, as he saw in the distance what appeared to be a rundown temple. Pillars lined a brick path overgrown with weeds sprouting from whatever crack revealed dirt.

Sharq smiled. "I won't keep you waiting any longer Splin… Here I come treasure!"

Planting his cap down firmly on his head and adjusting his White Anchor Tee, the logo shimmering as sunlight streamed through the collection of trees. Sharq began walking in a steady pace, making his way along the bricks. He felt his feet sink slightly.

"Eh?" Sharq muttered, looking down at his feet.

A dart of sorts streamed past him, a thin line of red ink trailing behind, almost as invisible and delicate as string, the dart impaling itself into a pillar. Sharq, however, was too busy tying his shoelaces to notice.

"That should keep them steady." Sharq grinned. "Onwards!"

Sharq made his way forward, only to trip over something. A tripwire spun rapidly, a collection of darts flickering out, flying out into the brush. Sharq scowled, standing up over the offending weed he had stumbled over.

"Geez." Sharq dusted himself off, glaring at the weed.

A grumbling could be heard very faintly. Sharq continued walking forward, walking over the weathered stones. He approached the entrance of the temple, feeling his nose tickle. A nauseous purple haze settled over him, lowering down.

"Ah…" Sharq muttered faintly.

A snickering replaced the grumbling, the purple haze infiltrating his nostrils and mouth.

"Ah...ah." He groaned.

The snickering transformed into a sinister cackling. The trees swayed uneasily as the deadly gas settled on Sharq. His eyes watered.

"Ah...CHOO!" Sharq sneezed, the haze dissipating in an instant.

The laughter ceased, an angry silence following. Sharq wiped his nose, shaking his head.

"Oh…" Sharq muttered, wiping his nose with a nearby leaf. "Okay, back on track."

"Why the SHELL aren't you dead yet?!" A voice bellowed.

"Eh?" Sharq blinked.

Out of the depths of the temple, a dark tentacle approached, attaching to the sides of the entrance. A growling grew with intensity as it neared Sharq, who backed away in fright. Out of the pit, a malnourished Inkling covered in a rag-like robe glared at Sharq, his tentacles lifting him out of the pit, the Inkling glaring at Sharq, a deep dark red barely visible on his tentacles.

"I see the fool has managed to destroy the barrier after so long." The Inkling rasped.

"Uh… Who? ...Xarius?" Sharq asked.

"All to get it all back…" The Inkling chuckled ominously, "He'd even stoop to sending young ones, wouldn't he?"

"What do you mean?" Sharq asked, staring at the Inkling curiously.

"...It doesn't concern you, boy." The Inkling glared, "Leave now, lest you actually have a death wish."

The unknown Inkling retreated into the temple, the dark shrouding his face as he did so.

"Hey!" Sharq shouted, reaching his hand out.

One of the dark tentacles shot back up at him, Sharq reeling in surprise. Fortunately for him and his hand, Maria struck first, having dashed in at the nick of the time, repelling the tentacle with a sharp chop to the hand. The Inkling hissed.

"You okay Sharq?" Maria asked quickly, breathing in and out.

"Yeah." Sharq said, peering into the depths of the dark temple.

"You…! You and Xarius can screw off!" The Inkling hissed.

"Who are you?" Sharq asked.

"Don't bother trying to pull that on me. You think after all these years I'd forget you?! You can forget retrieving your 'precious'!" The unnamed squid shouted, before he caught a fit of coughing.

"I came all this way to find treasure! I don't know what you're talking about, but I'll be sure to leave if you want to!" Sharq shouted back at him.

"...You didn't come back for her, then?" The shady Inkling asked.

"'Her'?" Maria squinted.

"...Then… You're still trespassing." The Inkling muttered.

Maria and Sharq took a step back, staring in at the temple insides. The tentacles returned, one with a mark from Maria's initial counter-attack. They struck out at them, Maria and Sharq recoiling at the reach.

"Come on! Even this guy has some sort of power!" Maria shouted.

The tentacles threatened to stab them in some way, the two launching towards them. Maria took up a defensive stance, raising her arms in front of her face. Sharq stood behind her, bewildered to some extent. The tentacles were a blur, stabbing at Maria's arms. She grunted, scratches steadily appearing as they attacked. She frowned, stepping back ever so slightly, the tentacles still slashing like a pair of sabers, Sharq gawking in worry.

"How do you like this?!" The Inkling cackled.

"Not… Fond of it." Maria said through grit teeth.

While the black tentacles kept scraping at Maria, Sharq noticed a glint above them. With a single slice downwards, Xarius was there, and he beat back the tentacles, now stained with a bright orange-red. The Inkling hissed, retracting his tentacles back in. Without another word, Xarius sprinted into the temple, Maria and Sharq waiting outside, Maria simply rubbing her arms.

"Come on Maria!" Sharq yelled.

Maria shook her head, following after Sharq. They ran through darkness for a while, the light illumination of sunlight following after them, only managing to make it so far into the temple interior. Eventually, the two came across a large room, lit up solely by torchlight. The two blinked, staring ahead. Xarius had his Inkbrush raised in front of him, the brush gleaming ferociously. The Inkling with the dark tentacles stood at the very back on top of a large pedestal.

"Finally… After all these months…" Xarius growled, "You're trapped! There's nowhere else to go!"

"Xarius, still chasing after lost hopes?" The other Inkling asked, "Why bother? Who knows if she's still alive? You have a habit of giving up anyways."

"...Who are they talking about?" Sharq asked.

"Now I see you've roped in civilians with your pointless endeavors." The dark-tentacled Inkling scoffed, raising himself using his tentacles.

"They got me here. They aren't just civilians." Xarius explained.

"Ah, would you be referring to the woman?"

Maria glowered at the other Inkling, who laughed.

"I admit, she gave me quite the surprise. Never expected someone to block my barrage of attacks." He grinned sinisterly.

"Look. Alabaso. Give me the map to her location and I'll leave you in peace." Xarius demanded with a glare.

Alabaso closed his eyes, sighing. "How pitiful. Your sister is long gone. No one's seen head nor tentacle of her since she eloped."

Xarius grit his teeth. "Enough! Hand me the map! You're surrounded and walled in! No escape!"

Alabaso once again began laughing. Sharq frowned, staring at Xarius.

"...Map?" Sharq asked, Xarius flinching. "...Xarius, was there any ever treasure in the first place?"

Xarius froze. Alabaso smirked, staring down at Xarius with a sneer. The pirate lowered his hat, shrouding his face.

"Lying to a child now?" Alabaso shook his head, "Tsk tsk."

Xarius fist shook with rage. He was about to say something, tilting his head up, when he noticed a certain someone sneaking up behind Alabaso, a rock lifted above his head. Sharq blinked, then stared over at Maria, his eyes widening.

"Awfully idiotic of you!" Alabaso laughed for the final time.

"Shut up and let us have the treasure." Maria spoke up, bringing the rock down on his head.

At the sound of her voice, he wrapped his tentacles around her arms, immobilizing her. Maria cursed herself for her mistake, Alabaso turning around with a victorious grin.

"Good effort." Alabaso smirked. "Both of you."

Maria stared across the room. Xarius' arms were also tied in a knot, the Inkling sweating profusely. The dark colored tentacles seemed to ripple with energy, only further pleasing Alabaso.

"Hmm, as long as the barrier is broken, I think I might go for a stroll outside? See how the world has changed in my absence." Alabaso suggested, the others glaring at him.

As much as they struggled, the bonds around their arms were too tight. The flames from the torches hung around the walls highlighted their sweat. Alabaso took a step off the pillar, looking ever confident. He looked around the room, then frowned.

"Oh? Where has the boy gone off to? Run on home perhaps?" Alabaso smirked. "No matter. At least it spares him the sight of seeing two others' deaths."

"I wouldn't run home yet!" Sharq's voice echoed down the temple.

"Ha. Your line is amusing boy. Tell you what, I'll strike a deal with you." Alabaso began, "You accompany me as I wreak havoc amongst the new world, and I'll be sure to pay you in all the coins you could ever need. Does two pieces of gold a month sound suitable?"

A clanking noise echoed through the temple. Everyone froze once they saw Sharq running down. This time around, he toted around a dusty old cannon. Xarius and Maria's eyes expanded.

"Take this!" Sharq cried out, pulling the fuse, a Splat Bomb launched out of the cannon.

" _How'd Sharq push that cannon through the beach and jungle?!"_ Xarius stared in confusion.

"Nice thinking Sharq!" Maria cried out.

Rolling his eyes, Alabaso took one tentacle and blocked the bomb, the glass container falling to the side, exploding harmlessly. Using his free tentacle, he ensnared the cannon and Sharq, who yelped.

"Pity. I could have gone for a bit of a laugh every now and then." Alabaso commented, attempting to smash Xarius and Sharq together.

"How are you going to do that with a broken jaw?" Maria asked.

Alabaso blinked, turning around, momentarily releasing Sharq, prepping his tentacle once again. This time he was too late, and face the wrath of Maria, multiple punches landing in succession. He groaned, stepping back, only for Maria to deliver a rather powerful kick to his abdomen, sending the Inkling into the stone wall of the temple, smashing him across the wall, where he fell, his tentacles wilting ever so slightly. He coughed, then laid still.

"...Didya kill him?" Xarius asked, pointing his sword at the mysterious Inkling.

"Eh." Maria shrugged, walking off nonchalantly, "By the way, I found this stuck to his tentacle while he was busy monologuing. When we get back on the ship, I want YOU to explain everything."

Maria handed Xarius a beaten paper chart wrapped in a scroll. Xarius blinked, unsheathing his Inkbrush, taking the scroll, unraveling it. Xarius nodded, thanking her, both he and Maria walking off out of the temple.

"C'mon captain. We're leaving." Xarius told Sharq quietly.

Sharq nodded solemnly, pushing the ruined cannon out of the ruins with him, glancing back at Alabaso, who remained unconscious by the walls of the temple, the light flickering steadily from the torches. Sharq sighed, continuing to push the cannon up, leaving Alabaso alone.

* * *

The three Inklings that stood on deck saw Inkopolis on the horizon, the sun just setting. Maria, using her inexplicable speedy boat skills, was once again at the wheel, staring ahead. Xarius stood behind her, as did Sharq.

"...You're looking for your sister?" Maria asked.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I lied. I just… I haven't seen her in so long." Xarius closed his eyes, "After she went an' got married, she disappeared. I've been searching for some trace of her. Suddenly, after a whole year of nothing, I find out about a map that supposedly charts her destination. Only, it happened to end up in the hands of some destructive hermit. That would be Alabaso. ...I failed the first time."

Sharq nodded, listening intently. Xarius continued.

"I dunno how he managed to do it, but he constructed a barrier." Xarius told him, "That's the one ya shattered. After that, I wasn't too happy about that... Well... You can tell the next few months weren't exactly... Good use of my time."

Xarius raised a hand to his face, caressing his scar. Sharq blinked, nodding, staring off into the distance.

"...So the treasure was just a lie then?" Sharq asked.

"Aye. Sorry Sharq." Xarius scowled in shame.

"Hey. It's okay." Sharq smiled, turning to Xarius, "You're trying to find your sister. I get it. I'd do anything for Splin too. It's just a thing us brothers do, right?"

Xarius smirked. "Yeah. Guess it is."

The two Inklings stared at the sky, Maria sighing.

"Looks like we'll just have to take care of Splin without any fancy hospital or medicine." Maria remarked.

"It'll be alright." Sharq beamed, "As long as you help me, of course!"

Maria nodded. "Of course! I'll do my best."

Sharq grinned, watching as seagulls flocked and roosted on top of the mast and sails once more. He looked over to Xarius, a forlorn look in the pirate captain's eyes.

"Hey Xarius, where are you going after we go home?" Sharq asked.

Xarius looked to the ocean. "I'll probably just be goin' after my sister again."

Sharq stared at the ocean as well. "Really? You could hang out with us if you want."

"...Nah, it's alright." Xarius told Sharq. "Someone's gotta keep Hueli and the others in check. Rosili can't do it by herself."

A sigh of relief escaped from the hull interior, along with the squawking of a macaw. Xarius stifled a laugh. The three Inklings remained silent for most of the trip home, the sun setting along the horizon. However, one question was probing at the ends of Maria's mind.

"Okay, so how come you and that other Inkling had dumb powers?" Maria asked.

Xarius raised his finger, just about to say something.

"If you say magic I'm pushing you overboard." Maria spoke up.

Xarius blinked, looking from side to side. "...The brush was a gift. I just made some uh... Modifications."

Maria smiled. "That works for me."

Xarius sighed in relief. _"Magic modifications."_

* * *

Splin yawned, shaking himself awake. Looking to the side of his bed, he noticed Ann-Gel and Tele-Cube propped up against the dresser in between the brothers' beds, each sleeping peacefully. Splin cracked a smile at the two, leaving his bed somewhat shakily, reaching for his headphones. He took the headphones and planted them on his head, walking towards the door leading outside onto the hill, hoping for some fresh air. As he opened up the door, a clod of dust worked its way into his nose.

"...Ah…" Splin began to sneeze.

The pirate ship crashed into the side of the hills, the bow sticking very close to the house. Splin blinked, turning around, noticing the large ship parked next to his house. Splin blinked, shaking his head quickly, staring over at the ship. He did not sneeze.

"Darn, lost it." Splin sniffed.

"Ahoy Splin!" Sharq called out, hopping off of the deck of the ship.

Sharq ran over towards his younger brother, smothering him with a hug.

"It's much better in real life." Sharq grinned.

Maria left the deck, hitting the dirt below, walking over to Splin, rubbing him on the head.

"Maria…" Splin groaned.

"What, can't I say hello?" Maria teased.

As the three Inklings caught up with each other and what they have been doing on their seafaring trip, Xarius stared back from the deck, smiling ever so slightly. As he watched them from the top of the deck, he started off for the wheel.

"Xarius!"

Xarius blinked, staring at the ground. A quick count of the Inklings on land revealed that there was a certain older brother missing. A whistling in the sky notified him, Xarius staring up. Sharq landed at his feet as a blue squid, switching to an Inkling, hugging Xarius as well. Xarius stared at him in bewilderment.

"Just wanted to thank you!" Sharq grinned, "You might've lied about the treasure, but I still had fun."

Xarius blinked. Sharq nearly got murdered by a crazed Inkling with elastic tentacles. Yet here he was, thanking him for taking him on a journey that proved almost fruitless. To that, Xarius smiled again, his lips curling up more noticeably.

"...You're welcome." Xarius told him, patting him on the back.

"Sharq!" Splin shouted, "Maria's cooking, and she says no one gets to eat until you get down here."

"Already?" Sharq asked.

"Yep. There's no convincing her not to." Splin told him.

Sharq frowned, thanking Xarius once more, before leaving the ship, hopping off of the ship, heading into the house. As the door shut behind him, Xarius grinned, then turned to the deck of the ship.

"All hands! We're shovin' off!" Xarius announced.

With that said, Xarius took the wheel, staring down at the wood.

"I'll never know how she does it." Xarius shrugged.

Finally, under Xarius' command, the ship began moving forward through the hills, Sharq and Maria looking out the window, until the ship vanished, leaving a sizable dirt trail. Sharq and Maria smiled.

"Guys, the food is burning." Splin pointed out.

Then promptly ran into the kitchen to check on the food.

* * *

As Xarius steadied the wheel, the ship cruising along the sea, water splashing along the rim. Xarius sighed, reaching into his coat, pulling out a picture. A small Inkling squid, red-orange dye dripping down its blue head, the squid had a goofy smile, walking under the shadow of someone. A female Inkling, blue with a pair of Black Arrowbands, her hazel eyes shimmering, an equally goofy smile following after him.

"...Pirah." Xarius frowned, closing his eyes. "I'll find ya someday. ...I hope you and your family are doing well. Wherever you are."

Xarius placed the picture of him and his sister in his jacket pocket, turning his attention back to the wheel as he and his crew cruised through the sea. A handful of seagulls flew overhead...

* * *

AN: Pirate plots are hard. Or at least a bit hard to finish.

Thanks Ultrapyre, Rynowm, and write n wrong for reviewing!

Ultrapyre, glad you liked that short reference, it was my pleasure. Rynowm, I can't tell if you made a pun, but whether or not it was, it would be a bit of a jolt to him, wouldn't it? write n wrong, yew, I suppose that's just the life of an egomaniac, always getting what's coming to him, even in his dreams.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to use Walker transformations in Star Fox, see you.


	35. Slackers!(?)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Slackers!**

"While the relations between Octarians and Inklings are stable, we still can't count out the fact that we have very little land left to live on." DJ Octavio spoke up.

A congregation of Octolings, Octotroopers, and one spritely Octocopter sat at a large, ovular table in the middle of their briefing room. The Octarians murmured among themselves in agreement, Aussie with her Octoling Goggles attached staring at everyone intently, looking from each concentrated face in the room. Octavio cleared his throat.

"Obviously, with tensions still way high, we won't be able to get anywhere. Ironically, the one thing keeping us from possible further conflict are the rocks surrounding us right now, blocking us from the whole rest of the world." Octavio explained, staring from each face sitting at the table.

Murmurs of solemn agreements went on between the Octarians. Aussie on the other hand tapped her finger impatiently on the table, staring to and fro. The shard embedded in the middle of the table from an earlier accident was still there, and at this point, considered somewhat of a decorative scar in the meeting place. But that was not what Aussie was worked up about. Eventually, her tapping became erratic, and it attracted the attention of everyone in the room.

As she did so, an elderly Octosniper sitting across from her cleared his throat, grabbing her attention. "Excuse me, Aussie."

"Yes General M-45-4?" Aussie spoke up, ceasing her tapping.

The Octosniper cleared his throat again, looking away absentmindedly. "We've uh...decided to do away with codenames."

Aussie scowled, turning to DJ Octavio. He gave a sheepish shrug and smirk. She sighed, General Masa continuing.

"You appear to be rather fond of tapping your finger, there." Masa pointed out, sighing somewhat, "Makes an old octopus wish he had fingers."

Aussie blinked, staring down at the floor in shame. "Apologies General. I've just been waiting for a few others to join us-"

Aussie's voice grew in volume. "AND THEY BETTER JOIN US SOON."

The others murmured among themselves at the Octoling commander's outburst. They looked to one another, Octavio sighing in response. A few seconds later, a pair of Octoling troops came waltzing in.

"Hey Auss." Tai yawned, walking over to the table.

"T-41, C-H1, why are you two late? The meeting has already taken place. You're two minutes late!" Aussie shouted, the other octopuses cringing at her voice.

"Eh, we had stuff to do." Tai said, laying on the side of the walls.

"Yeah." Chi spoke up, mirroring Tai's action with a grin.

Aussie frowned, closing her eyes. "Fine. Take a seat."

"Ooh… Yeah. About that. We have to do something else actually. Busy day." Tai explained, gesturing out the door.

"Really? Well then, before you go, care to explain what you were doing earlier?" Aussie asked, hands on her hips.

Tai sighed. "You know that rebel force Chi used to be a part of?"

"Vaguely, yes." Aussie nodded.

"Well, your's truly-" Tai began.

"And I." Chi added.

"Plus this dynamic chick went in and recruited them all." Tai snickered, the two Octolings giving each other five, "Wasn't easy, but we got it done."

Aussie hummed in acknowledgement. "Sounds satisfactory."

"Welp," Tai stretched her arms, "I think it's about high time me and Chi hit the road, we have something else we need to get done."

"No. Sit down." Aussie demanded.

Chi blinked. "Uh, Auss, we actually really do have to-"

"SIT DOWN." Aussie demanded again.

Without hesitation, Chi swiftly took up a seat, nodding in confirmation. Tai on the other hand, yawned, making her way to the ovular table, sitting right next to Chi, planting her boots on the table. Aussie squinted at her boots irritably, then sighed, pinching her temples.

"I've told you two time and time again. Aside from a few exceptional instances, you constantly shirk your duties and responsibilities for other, trivial things." Aussie scowled.

"It's called 'having a life outside of work'." Tai yawned, "Besides, we already told you we got something done."

At the sound of her umpteetnth yawn, Aussie snapped, standing up, pushing her chair to the side where it clattered on the metal floor. She grew somewhat red as she glared at Tai, who sat contently with her feet still planted on the table, Chi backing away a bit in worry for the sake of her own health.

"Are you implying that I DON'T HAVE A LIFE?" Aussie yelled.

"Well, I mean, you're a year older than me, you have a stable commanding officer job, and yet I still managed to bag a dude before you did." Tai pointed out, "Chill out."

"What does that have to do with anything?! I'm just saying that you need to start taking charge and start getting things done!" Aussie slammed her fist on the table as emphasis.

Chi gulped, stretching out her shirt's collar underneath her armor, her goggle lights on her face blinking. "Hey, you know, I think I'll just sit this out over… Outside."

"You aren't clean either!" Aussie called out. "All you do is follow her around all day!"

"Leave Chi out of this. At least she knows how to have fun." Tai said, sticking her tongue out at Aussie.

The two Octolings (Chi standing nearby silently) continued their bickering. The other Octarians frowned, staring at each other.

"Psst! Octavio, you gonna do something?" An Octotrooper sitting nearby asked.

"Yeah." Octavio cleared his throat.

Robot fists erupted from a kettle in Octo Valley, shaking the platform it smashed out of. Cap'n Cuttlefish, who had a pair of noise-cancelling headphones on, bounced up into the air a short distance, falling back on his raggedy blue couch, sighing.

The entire base shook, silencing the Octolings. Octavio grunted, retrieving the large fists, retracting them into his DJ vehicle.

"Clearly our land shortage isn't the only problem." DJ Octavio frowned, glaring at the three Octolings.

"Hey man, it's not my fault Aussie constantly twists her own panties into knots before putting them on in the morning." Tai sneered.

"The nerve! Octavio, can you believe her? Insulting her commander so shamelessly!" Aussie frowned, hands on her hips.

"Both of you shut up and sit down." Octavio ordered irritably.

The pair of humanoid octopuses blinked. Octavio's gaze never wavered, his brow furrowed tightly. Reluctantly, the two of them took up their seats, sitting down, staring back up at him. Octavio shook his head, the regal golden crown on his head swiveling.

"Now listen. I can't have you two going around, throwing the army into disarray just because you two can't synchronize-"

"Hey!" Tai shouted, "If I can't mess with people with my limited Inkanese, you're not allowed to make DJ references!"

"I was just making a statement!" DJ Octavio shouted in exasperation, "That's besides the point, lately you two haven't been working well. I don't know what it is, I don't know why, and frankly, it's becoming a problem."

The two Octolings grunted. Octavio continued.

"So, for the time being, Aussie, you are going to supervise Tai and Chi for the day." Octavio ordered.

Gritting her teeth, Aussie stared down at the floor, nodding in defeat. Tai on the other hand was still fuming.

"Oh come ON!" Tai shouted, "Dude, we'll never get anything done with Aussie breathing down our necks twenty-four seven!"

Octavio frowned. "You don't get to make orders, Tai. Aussie, make sure she and Chi don't slack off."

That happened to be the final straw for Tai. Growling, Tai lifted her chair, tossing it at Octavio. He narrowly dodged it by ducking, but the painful noise of metal denting behind him had him sweat. Rising, he stared back incredulously, Tai already stomping out of the room. Aussie, still somewhat red in the face from irritation, shuffled out, nothing but business etched on her face. That left the only other Octoling, Chi, alone in the room. She stared up at Octavio, blinking.

"Chi… You've been a bit of a troublemaker in the past too." Octavio sighed, raising a tentacle to his face, "But can you please, for the sake of everyone, keep the two of them in check?"

Chi blinked, lowering her Octoling Goggles from her face. Her eyes were glistening with a hint of wetness, but she nodded regardless. Octavio nodded at her, and with a wave of his metal robot hands, dismissed her. Chi left, sighing in discomfort as she walked behind the metal doorway.

Octavio breathed in, then huffed. "Like I didn't need more trouble."

As Octavio turned his metallic craft, a beeping noise and a flickering light caught his eye. He and the hovering mech began sinking, a bewildered expression on his face as he sank. Smashing into the ground, he groaned, smoke fuming off of the back of his craft, the chair that Tai had thrown tumbling down after him.

* * *

"Hey, Auss." Tai spoke up.

"Yes?" Aussie asked.

"When I said that you might be breathing down our necks…" Tai stared away, "I didn't mean literally."

Quite true to Tai's word, Aussie was walking behind Tai, staring her down from the back of her neck. Chi followed behind, occasionally glancing at the two angry Octolings. She followed them as they entered the recreational room of the Octarian HQ, taking up a seat, Aussie still glaring holes in Tai.

"...Mind giving me some space? Geez." Tai scoffed.

"Being rude to your commanding officer is one thing. I can let that slide." Aussie told her through grit teeth. "However, I cannot give you space."

"Why not?! I'm telling you, Chi and I NEED to get out there!" Tai roared.

Aussie sighed, shaking her head. She stood up, sliding her chair underneath the table, and walked over to the counter of a nearby bar, picking up a delicate glass from the counter, walking back over towards Tai and Chi, both eyeing it carefully.

"...What's the glass for?" Chi asked.

"Tai, this is our species." Aussie explained, holding the bottom of the glass, "If you continually put off your work, distract our army with your shenanigans, anything of the sort, well…"

Aussie dropped the glass on the ground, where it shattered easily. Aussie crossed her arms, smirking at Tai. Tai scowled, hopping off her chair, also making her way to the bar. She jumped over the counters in octopus form, shifting back into a humanoid Octoling, searching through glasses, until she finally found a plain, cylindrical glass. Standing up, she searched through the selection of drinks, then turned to the sink. Walking near the sink, she turned on the faucet, water dripping down, and filled the cup. Then she retreated back over the counter and towards the table with the cup.

Aussie arched an eyebrow, Tai smirking. "You see this water? This is you."

Aussie rolled her eyes underneath her goggles. "Oh, please."

"Yep, you're just as boring as water." Tai stated, knocking over the glass, where it fell on the floor, spilling and shattering into pieces.

Aussie sarcastically clapped in the most monotone, slowest fashion possible, Tai sticking her tongue out again. Chi frowned at the two still at it, placing one hand on her cheek. Suddenly, she noticed something peculiar in the glass shards. They were shaking somewhat.

"Uh… Tai? Remember that 'thing' we had to get done?" Chi gulped, still gawking at the glass.

With a sigh, Tai turned to Chi, somewhat confused by her stare directed at the floor. Tai blinked, following her gaze, her eyes growing wide. The glass shards and water continually hopped up and down.

"...Ship. Chi, you get the Octoshots. Aussie, do me a favor and grab some Ink Tanks, will ya?" Tai said, running off.

"Hey! Hold on!" Aussie yelled, following after her.

Chi watched as the two ran out, Aussie practically nipping at her heels each time she ran, attempting to slow her companion down by stepping on the back of her boots. Chi shook her head, then sighed, walking off to get the equipment herself.

* * *

Tai poked her head out of the kettle, then promptly leaped out, looking around, alert for any danger, priming her eyes and ears for any suspicious sights and sounds. Then she heard it. It sounded a bit like a thruster.

"Come back here! I'm not finished-" Aussie began as she climbed out of the kettle, then froze.

Tai blinked, then turned around. A floating mech, standing tall over them, flashed a saber made of ink, ink dripping off like sparks off of a fire.

"RETREAT INCONCEIVABLE. PREPARING FOR BATTLE. Goodbye! :3" The Skell said, flashing the triumphant emoticon on its visor.

"...There's your answer for what you asked earlier." Tai grimaced.

The Skell sliced at them, the saber of ink phasing straight through the floating platform, without a scratch. Tai leaped clear, landing safely on her feet, staring up at the Skell. With its one glowing eye, it glared at the two Octolings.

"Holy Mary Mother of Joseph." Aussie muttered, staring up at the Skell.

The Skell made a noise akin to an electronic chuckle, slashing at Aussie, who also jumped away from danger, landing by Tai, the two Octolings adopting battle postures.

"Why is the Skell free again?!" Aussie asked angrily.

"That's what we were trying to tell you! We were trying to recapture the Skell, but YOU didn't want any of it!" Tai shouted in response.

The two Octolings split up, leaping away in different directions as the Skell slashed at them with its glowing saber, still not leaving a single cut in the terrain to their surprise. The Skell continually sliced and diced, hitting nothing but air and ground.

"It keeps missing us!" Aussie yelled. "Why?!"

"How should I know? I never worked on it!" Tai told her.

Aussie frowned. "Well, maybe if you had attended the demonstration-"

"Oh, bleh!" Tai shouted in retaliation, ducking under a swipe.

As the Skell caught nothing but air with its strike, the manhole leading out of the kettle the pair had just left could be heard scraping by the ground. Everyone turned to the noise, Chi climbing out steadily, holding three Octoshot guns and two Ink Tanks using her bare hands, wearing one Ink Tank on her back.

"Hey, I got the equipment! Did you find the Skell ye-" Chi started.

The Skell responded for them, slicing Chi in half. The two other Octolings' mouths gaped open when they saw the blade of light enter Chi from the head-up down to her legs, each staring in terror. Chi blinked.

"Ah?" She muttered.

Suddenly, the weapons and containers she had brought with her separated into two, falling down the hatch, decorating it in shades of violet. Chi blinked, staring down at her skin.

Tai smiled in relief. "Guess it can't cut us, huh?"

Upon hearing that, the Skell tossed away its sword and cracked its metal knuckles. Tai blinked, still smiling, then was met with a brutal slam from the fist of the Skell, tumbling backwards in the dirt, spitting as she landed.

"Cod… Hey! Auss!" Tai spoke up, standing up, "Go get help!"

Aussie nodded. "Affirmative!"

Aussie started for the kettle leading towards the base. The Skell's visor flashed, and the Skell responded by reaching into the kettle. Chi flinched, allowing for an easy capture. As the Skell grabbed her with a fist made of metal, digging into the earth. Chi squeaked, before she was trapped in the Skell's large fist, the HQ kettle destroyed in seconds.

"Ngah!" Chi gasped, attempting to switch out of Octoling form into an octopus, only to be squeezed.

Her goggles popped off her face, falling on the dirt below. Her eyes were wild and frantic, bluish-violet eyes staring at Tai and Aussie in fright. The Skell then proceeded to jet away, its thrusters pushing it away into the distance on a far away floating land mass connected by a string of ink. Tai coughed, shaking her head, getting up shakily, chasing after them slowly.

"AUSS! GO!" She shouted, "Get Splin and Sharq or… Something! Just get help!"

"What?! Visit the surface world?! Are you insane?!" Aussie yelled, her voice wavering slightly.

"I'm going after Chi! If she gets injured, I will be SO MAD." Tai shouted, dashing off.

Aussie reached out for her. With no other words, Tai continued running off, picking up speed. Aussie gulped, turning towards the manhole leading towards the Inkling realm. She was already generally uneasy about Inklings in the first place. But if her comrades were in danger…

Aussie made up her mind. She started for the manhole, determination brewing in her eyes.

"You're goin' to Inkopolis, ain't you missy?"

Aussie flinched, turning to her right. Cap'n Cuttlefish, standing by his derelict, rundown shack stared at her with an old wisdom in his eyes, though the spark of energy flashed from their surfaces. Aussie gulped, swallowing her surprise, then nodded.

"Correct. ...Cuttlefish." She muttered, briefly searching through her memory.

Standing in front of her was an Inkling who helped put down Octarian armies. Of course, not without the biased assistance of Judd the cat, who she vaguely remembered taking a neutral stance early on. How he managed to get the referee on their side was odd. However, if she wanted to assist her companions, she would need to get through. Cap'n Cuttlefish closed his eyes.

"...Young'uns keep growing more daring with every day passin' by. First those squiddos. Then those pair of boys… Even an Octoling?" Cap'n murmured.

Aussie frowned, glancing at the manhole.

"I'm too old to stop ye anyways, lass." Cap'n sighed, "Feh, you darn octopuses and your war tricks…"

"...I'm leaving." Aussie said, walking towards the manhole.

"At least I can say that I've seen a few octopuses with quite a comradeship. Good luck lassie." Cap'n Cuttlefish said, walking back to his shack.

Aussie gulped. Somehow his wish for "good luck" only managed to unnerve her. She stared off into the distance, where Tai continually chased after Chi and the Skell. Tai had fire in her eyes, that much Aussie could tell from that distance. Aussie sighed, shifting into an octopus. She hopped up, into the manhole, sliding through the pipe.

* * *

AN: Back to regular plots without any pirates for now! Take a good stretch, pat yourself on the back, you've earned it for reading this far and staying with us. By the by, I'll be working on a Pokkén Tournament story in the time being, so keep your hats on.

Ahem, aside from that, the special tonight happens to be reviews. Served by: Ultrapyre, write n wrong, and CathyMirii.

Thanks Ultrapyre, I suppose having some sort of Aztec-based temple with a magic tentacle hermit living inside is bizarre, but you know, Xarius has got into some rather peculiar situations attempting to locate Pirah. write n wrong, glad you enjoyed the twist! Finally, CathyMirii, sorry, perhaps someday they might unite as family rather then strangers looking for adventure.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to order a copy of Drawn to Life for nostalgia purposes! See ya.


	36. Lazy, Aren't We?(!)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Aren't We Lazy?**

As she made her way through the pipe, entering the Inkling world, the first thing she noticed, the light, shocked her as it reached her eyes through her goggles. Sure, she had plenty of light down in Octo Valley, but this light was different. It just felt different, more clean, crisp, and bright than when she served under the Octarian regime. Her mouth gaped at all of the colors of the flashing billboards and signs, as well as the buildings. The Booyah Base looked like a glimmering haven to her. In spite of all of this glory, her first instinct-

"Hrrruuugh!" She turned behind her, emptying the contents of her stomach by a vending machine.

Yep, just that. It was hardly that she was disgusted or petrified as a result of the beauty of Inkopolis, but pure fear. Fear that passed down from tentacle to tentacle as a result of oppression and war. As utopian this place appeared, Aussie was afraid. She had trained for a few years, but had risen to the top of her leagues and ranks in the army.

"...Y-Yes, exactly!" Aussie spoke up, swallowing what saliva was not tainted by her episode, "I'm the commander. I shall find assistance from our Inkling benefactors."

Upon saying just that, Aussie attempted to climb out of the manhole, only to gag yet again, but not as a result of a stomach movement. She shifted into an octopus, diving to the side, narrowly avoiding a group of cheery Inklings walking off from an Inkopolis Tower escapade. She grit her teeth, sliding through the plaza, sticking to walls closely in an attempt to sneak using the shadows. Passing by a small coffee brewing store's glass window, she switched back into an Octoling, tiptoeing as she made her way out of the plaza.

"Hey, you."

She raised her fists immediately, glaring in the direction of the voice. She stopped, a street urchin, his bony arms raised above his head, tossing an Inkling over by a tall barrier he sat by.

"One day Spyke!" The Inkling shouted as he was tossed, "One day I'll have my refund!"

"That'll be the day when snails fly." Spyke commented with a sneer, dusting himself off. "Sorry 'bout that, bloke's been harassing me for days now. How can I be of service, love?"

Aussie could not say a word. She had forgotten about other species. It felt like forever since she last saw something that had no tentacles of any shape or form. So to say that Spyke looked extremely alien to her would actually be on point. She coughed.

"Apologies for staring."

"No apologies needed. Not often that an Octoling comes about to visit. What's your business?" Spyke inquired with a sharp eye.

"I need your assistance in locating a pair of squids." She started, clearing her throat somewhat..

"Any in particular?" Spyke asked, sitting down on a mat, a collection of Super Sea Snail shells piled up by his side, "Quite a few. Squid Sisters maybe?"

Aussie scowled at the stage names. _"Agent 1 and 2."_ Clearing her throat yet again, she stood up straight and dignified, "A pair of brothers."

Spyke blinked. "Blue tentacles? Always walking about, causin' trouble?"

"...Yes." She muttered slowly.

Spyke shrugged. "Can't say I'd know where they'd live. Ain't my place to be sticking my head into others' business."

Aussie cursed silently, staring to the side. Another vending machine. Why the Inklings constructed multiple machines dedicated to quenching thirst around eluded her, but regardless, she was at a standstill. She thought of another question:

"Can you fight?" She asked, clearing her throat.

"Heh." Spyke smirked.

Immediately, Aussie regretted her question. The gaze Spyke gave off was nothing short of menacing despite one of his eyes being covered by his sharp head. Then he shrugged.

"Nope." He answered plainly.

She stared at the ground in defeat. Tai was off trying to rescue Chi from a malfunctional machine and here she was asking a street urchin pointless questions in the home of the enemy. She quickly decided she would treat herself someday. But for the time being, she decided that she would have to make do with the intel she had.

Adjusting her armor, she walked off. "Thanks anyways."

"Hold it there, miss."

Aussie turned around. Spyke was pointing at the plaza.

"Would he be the one you're searching for?" Spyke asked.

Aussie blinked. Swiveling back around, she noticed a familiar blue Inkling in a Takoroka brand-name cap, just switched into a squid. She began to call out his name, his codename that is, then froze as she reached for the first word. That would jeopardize her position, revealing Octarians to the unsuspecting world. There would be chaos. So she waited, watching Sharq, her goggles glowing. Sharq jet off into the air with a burst of blue. Blinking, she tracked Sharq, then swiftly departed, Spyke giving a lazy wave as he sat. Still attempting to remain incognito, she ventured out of the shadows briefly, staring up into the sky. Spiralling away, Sharq was a blue bullet in the sky, vanishing into the sky as a speck. For Aussie, this was not a problem. Her goggles made up the distance, a zoom that of a pair of binoculars. She observed Sharq, finding him landing by a house on the hills. She nodded, a vague memory tingling at the back of her head. She turned back to Spyke.

"What are you waiting for? Longer you stand around, longer you get exposed. That's just my theory anyways." Spyke spoke, still staring at Aussie from his alley.

Aussie frowned. "Blunt and straightforward." She switched to a smile, "Probably would've been great in the army."

"Eh." Spyke shrugged.

Aussie turned back towards the open space leading towards the hills, being careful not to accidentally reveal herself. Ducking behind a pillar, she stared at the plaza, then to the hills. No Inkling in sight so far. She felt her legs move. She felt the breeze pick up. Subconsciously running, she snapped into reality, switching into an octopus, leaping forward into the sky overhead.

* * *

Sharq hummed to himself as he stared down at his Gamepad, Splin snoozing peacefully in his bed. Pressing each button in a steady rhythm, he glanced up and down in the same rhythmical fashion, Gamepad, television, Gamepad, television.

"...Sharq." Splin muttered.

"Yeah?" Sharq asked, turning back.

"If you're playing the new Star Squid Zero without me…" Splin began.

"Um." Sharq stared back at the television.

The blue and white ship he piloted onscreen transformed into a squid. Sharq gulped, managing an innocent smile.

"Nah, I'm just uh… Watching the news." Sharq told him.

"Of course you are." Splin sighed, laying his head on his pillow, "Try not to finish the game without me."

"...Okay." Sharq nodded, staring back at the screen.

Sharq continued playing while Splin continued sleeping. Ann-Gel, being her dainty trophy self, hummed as she walked, with a different air to her. Sharq's eyes gravitated to the left, catching a glimpse of the green Inkling statuette, then turned back to the game. He switched back, gawking at Ann-Gel in surprise.

"Whoa! When'd you change your tentacles?" Sharq asked.

Ann-Gel shrugged. Instead of her usual orange tentacles and apparel, her tentacles were dyed a green now, her shirt switched out with a black counterpart of her normal tee, donning a pair of Black Trainers on her feet.

"I dunno really. I kinda woke up like this." Ann-Gel told Sharq, stretching her arms.

Sharq nodded. A rustling of sheets caught their attention. Turning to the side, Maria in her own lime-green squid appearance stared at them, nodding at Ann-Gel's shift in palette.

"You look nice." Maria commented with a wave.

"Thanks." Ann-Gel smiled, flaunting her equally lime tentacles. Then she paused, staring suspiciously at Maria.

Maria laughed, caressing her own tentacles as a result. Ann-Gel sighed, shaking her head, Sharq smiling in response. All looked well, and despite Splin's sleep-inducing illness, it seemed rather peaceful. Except, as par the course, an unexpected visitor showed up. Knocking on the door.

"Hmm? Who could that be?" Maria asked, staring at the door.

"I'll get it." Sharq announced, dropping his oversized controller, making his way towards the door.

On the other side of the door, Aussie could not be more paranoid. She had made it this far, she reminded herself. Breathing in and out, maintaining a steady cycle of breathing, she knocked again.

Sharq flung the door open. "Hello?"

Aussie's overemphasized grin made her look less than friendly, and the beads of sweat dripping down were multiplying. "Hello Agent A."

"Oh! Hi, um… Sorry, I forgot your name." Sharq spoke up, staring at her goggles.

Gulping, Aussie nervously glanced to each side of the house. "Er, 4U55-13."

"Oh, Aussie!" Sharq beamed.

Aussie deadpanned. "...That's… One way to address me. I need to see you and Agent B about something."

"Splin? Come on in, he's inside." Sharq spoke up, clearing the doorway, gesturing her in.

Aussie nodded politely, walking in. She promptly proceeded to dash towards the nearest window, one still shattered, and leaped out, only to be caught, her octopus tentacles grabbed.

"G-Gah! You'll never take me alive!" She shouted, swinging behind her.

"I'm not going to take you, dead or alive." Maria told the Octoling soothingly, laying her down on the floor with a pat on the head.

Aussie blinked in confusion as she was pet like a dog. "...Uh, apologies? Would you happen to be an agent as well?"

Maria pursed her lips, shrugging. "Retired, but yes. Would you happen to be a friend of Tai?"

The mention of Tai's name caused a lump in Aussie's throat. She nodded solemnly, getting to her feet. Her less than cheerful demeanor caused the two Inklings standing to glance at each other, then back to Aussie, curiosity present.

"My apologies for arriving on such short notice, but I require Agent A and B's assistance." Aussie declared, adjusting the straps connecting her armor.

"I'm sorry. Splin's a bit… Under the weather." Maria inhaled through her teeth, pointing back towards the end of the house.

Aussie blinked, looking over Maria's shoulder. Splin laid in his bed, his eyes closed, with a serene silence surrounding him, as if he were-

"Is he?!" Aussie gasped.

Maria shook her head rapidly. "No no! He's fine, just sick."

Aussie instinctively sighed in relief. "...Ah."

"He won't be able to leave the house for a while. We don't know what he's suffering from either." Maria frowned, fist under her chin.

Aussie stared across the room, then at the wood floor, frowning. "...I see. Apologies."

She began making her way towards the door. A weight on her shoulder prompted her to spin around, Maria's hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Maria asked.

Aussie frowned. "T-41- Tai, and another colleague have been wrapped up in a troubling situation. I had initially come here to ask those two for help, but…"

Maria nodded in understanding. "Well, why don't I come?"

Aussie blinked, staring up at her. "You? Um-"

"I'm sure I can lend a hand. Just lead the way." Maria grinned.

"Are you sure, though? It isn't guaranteed safe, and I don't want to impose-" Aussie began.

"Don't worry! Maria's the best, she can help you with whatever you need!" Sharq cheered from the background.

Maria smiled, somewhat embarrassed at his praise. "I wouldn't say everything, but if there's a problem, I'll see what I can do."

"Plus, I can stay behind and watch Splin." Sharq spoke up.

"Right. I can go along with you if you want." Maria offered.

Aussie tilted her head, analyzing Maria silently. She hardly knew this Inkling, or who she was. As cheerful as she looked and as helpful as she sounded, the Octoling still had a tinge of doubt at the back of her mind. She knew of the other agents' exploits, but her…

"...Can you fight?" She asked carefully.

At the sound of it, Maria smirked. "Yes, as a matter of fact."

Aussie stared at her. She was raring to go, her eyes concealing energy that of a blaze. Shivering slightly she turned for the door, looking behind her.

"...Alright then. Uh, follow me." Aussie muttered.

Maria waved to the brothers as she left the house, cracking her knuckles excitedly. Aussie sweat a bit.

"So, who do you want me to fight?" Maria asked.

"Wha?!" Aussie asked, turning around.

"Just kidding!" Maria laughed, "You're really nervous. Don't worry, I don't bite."

Aussie frowned. "Well… You CAN fight, right?"

Maria blinked. "Oh. You were serious?"

Aussie stared to the side, gulping.

"I thought you just wanted me to show you some battle tricks or sniping tips. ...What do you need that needs to be fought?" She asked curiously.

Aussie shut her eyes, sighing. "...I'll show you."

* * *

Aussie poked her head out of the manhole carefully, every sense of her being alert for the Skell. Sliding out carefully, a constant noise caught her attention. Spinning to the right, she sighed, Cap'n was napping on his blue couch, snoring slightly. The rustling of the manhole behind her meant that her other guest was climbing up. Maria stuck her head out of the manhole, or rather, carried the manhole using her head, looking around.

"I don't see the Skell you were talking about." Maria commented, looking about the floating platforms.

"Hmm. Out of curiosity, did you happen to… See it before?" Aussie asked.

"Yeah." Maria spoke up, placing her feet on the dirt nearby, "Tough opponent."

"Wait, you fought it before? Then you helped us out before as well…" Aussie sighed, "I really should focus on training if I'm to catch up with Tai."

"Hmm?" Maria hummed curiously.

"...Yep. I keep on pushing Tai and Chi to their limits and yet Tai can enter and leave Octo Valley whenever she wants." Aussie frowned, adjusting her goggles.

"Um, actually-"

"I can't help but feel like I'm falling behind." Aussie murmured. She shook her head rapidly. "No, wait, gah! Apologies, I shouldn't be wasting time like this! We should be finding-"

"The Skell." Maria muttered, staring off into the distance.

"...Huh?" Aussie asked.

Maria pointed ahead at a floating platform. "That's what your looking for, isn't it?"

Aussie's eyes went wide. Nearly tearing her goggles off, she revealed her crimson irises, staring ahead in disbelief. The Skell, Chi sitting behind it with a frown, happened to be lobbing objects at Tai. Round barrels rolled down a slope leading up a pillar, Tai constantly hopping over each barrel as she made her way towards the top.

"Huh. Might as well call her Jumpman." Maria commented, then froze, "I've been spending too much time around the boys."

"We must help her!" Aussie told her, dashing off.

Maria gave a curt nod, following Aussie. She hopped in a ink line leading towards the platform the others were stranded on, leaping out of the ink onto the ground, hitting the ground running. Maria followed behind, the ink switching from red-violet to green as she dived in. Aussie took off towards the pillar, dashing up the ramp to meet Tai. As she ran, a stray barrel rocketed downwards.

"Tai! Watch out!" Aussie yelled, tackling Tai in the back.

"Gah! Aussie, wha-" Tai yelped, the two Octolings falling towards the ground.

As the two hit the ground, the barrel bounced over them, smashing into the ground below. A harsh buzzer sounded out. Looking up, the two realized that it was coming from the Skell.

"Sorry Tai, that's that." Chi spoke up, hopping up from beneath the Skell's leg.

"Darn it Aussie! I had a record and everything!" Tai pounded her fist on the ramp, "Ow!"

"What?! A record- Care to explain, Chi?" She asked in an irritated tone.

"That's a shame. So I can't fight anything?" Maria frowned behind them.

"Maria?" Tai asked.

Aussie pinched her temples in irritation. Tai scowled underneath her, Maria looked mildly disappointed, and Chi and the Skell backed away slowly. Aussie had none of that, glaring at the two, her goggles still undone very slightly, her red iris piercing them.

"...You two have been slacking off, haven't you?" Aussie asked.

Tai groaned. "Yes, now can you get off my back?"

Aussie stood up, still glaring down at Tai. "I went into enemy territory, snuck my way in, nearly had a heart attack, brought Mrs. Altezio over here-"

Maria gave a wave, smiling somewhat.

"AND YOU TWO HAVE BEEN JUMPING OVER BARRELS?!" Aussie asked, "That is the least productive- No, nevermind, ONE of your least productive feats of all time! Cod, what was Octavio thinking?!"

With that said, Aussie stormed off, heading to a nearby kettle, which was still smashed in from the Skell encounter. Tai brushed herself off, staring ahead at her, blinking. Aussie tearing out some of the metal pieces the kettle was constructed out of, then switched to an octopus, entering it with a huff.

"...So does that mean we're free to do whatever?" Tai asked.

No reply. Chi and the Skell sighed in relief while Maria stood to the side, looking up to the two in confusion.

"And return the Skell!" Aussie screamed.

The mech's visor light seemed to falter. Chi pat the metallic being on the back, walking back to base in shame. Tai huffed, walking down the ramp, muttering a "Yeah" as she went. As the Octolings left, the Skell hovering off under the platform, Maria leaned on the side of a rusty railing, blinking.

"...Okay." She muttered, walking off.

* * *

"Look, we're sorry we lied about having work to do." Tai grimaced. "We thought the Skell needed to loosen up its joints, and we just wanted to have a bit of fun."

"Sorry." Chi added, "We won't do it again."

"You happy?" Tai asked.

"Yes, thank you." Aussie sighed, walking off into the base.

"So uh…" Tai muttered. "How long do we have to stay in here again?"

Tai, Chi, and the Skell sat in a research lab, all of the doors save one shut. A ginormous hole patched with metal welded together blocked a would be exit. Aussie stared at them through her goggles, walking out, the door shutting behind her. She smiled.

As the door shut, the lights dimmed somewhat. Chi leaned on Tai with a frown, whimpering.

"Sorry man, that's just what happens. That's how it's always been, remember?" Tai yawned, shutting her eyes.

"Wait, are you sleeping?!" Chi asked in fear.

Tai's snores answered her. Chi frowned, just leaning on her superior for the rest of the night, wide awake and wide eyed, as the electronic hum of the Skell buzzed above her.

Aussie on the other hand, made her way to her bunk, the automatic door raising above her, allowing her entrance. She yawned, walking in, resting on her neatly organized bed with a yawn. As the door closed behind her, she adjusted her goggles, the lights dimming in the eye-wear as Aussie took a rest.

* * *

AN: Sometimes everyone has to take a break now and then.

Thanks to write n wrong and Darkstar248 for reviewing! write n wrong, thanks, there you have it. Maybe not the brothers, but Maria certainly…was there. Darkstar248, I dunno about giantesses, that sounds like a bit of an awkward request, you know that's uh...very specific of you. I mean, you like what you like and that's cool, but I dunno... Glad you're reviewing though.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to fund a lighthouse in my town, see you.

EDIT: The new Splatfest dialogue says that Halloween is actually "canonically" Squidoween. Crud, now Shalloween is out. :(


	37. Accidents Happen

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

" **Accidents Happen, Right Little Brother?"**

The warm air was caressed by a gentle breeze as it blew past the hillside. The hole in the small house's ceiling let in the air, where it silently permeated the household. Phish did not mind, the breeze tugging at his tie slightly. His face almost stuck to the book he read through, scanning each page and word with a piqued interest, he sighed, breathing in relief. A knock at his door quickly dispelled his comforts, and, with a groan, he set down the book, the cover a picture of a primitive squid, an account of history that Phish only halfheartedly believed. Making his way to the door, he opened it swiftly, expecting the same female nuisance that continually made his way into his house and life.

To say that he had expected a young squid accompanying her was an understatement. Standing by Pirah's leg was a young, blue squid, with the very short trace of humanoid limbs, small stubs for hands and feet, a douse of red on his soft noggin. The squid hummed in curiosity, staring up at Phish, who frowned.

"Uh… Pirah, who's this?" Phish asked, staring down at the squid.

"Sorry for the short notice visit, I just wanted to introduce you to my little brother." Pirah said, raising the squid up, which smiled as she raised him, "Meet Xarius!"

The little Xarius made a case as to plant his stubby tentacle on Phish's face as he stared, Phish closing his eyes as Xarius retracted his tentacle, the little squid blinking, getting to know the older Inkling by his facial features.

"Uh huh. Well, it was nice to meet him." Phish said, turning around.

"Oy!"

Phish turned back around, glaring at Pirah with a bit of an annoyed demeanor. "What is it? I'm sort of busy right now."

"Oh, that wasn't me." Pirah told Phish with a grin, toting Xarius around as if he were a rag-doll.

"Oy." Xarius waved.

"...Oy." Phish nodded with a wave, "Okay, Pirah, was that all you came for?"

"Nope!" Pirah beamed, "Besides introducing you two, I was hoping you'd let Xarius and I crash over for a while!"

"Why, did something happen where you live?" Phish asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I had a bit of an accident in the kitchen." Pirah shrugged.

"...?" Phish stared at her.

Just behind Pirah in the distance, he noticed something. Squinting his eyes, he swore he could spy smoke rising from the city of Inkopolis, the smoke and flames billowing as it grew, shrimp and Inklings garbed in red attempting to douse the catastrophic fire. At least, he assumed it would be catastrophic based on the amount of black spiraling into the sky.

"I can already see the headlines." Phish shook his head.

Woman Burns Down Neighborhood: Be on High Alert.

"Yeah." Phish nodded solemnly. "It's too bad, had I taken up law, maybe I could've saved her from lawsuits."

"Um, let's ignore the accident right now," Pirah said, placing Xarius on the ground, "The point is, I'd be grateful if you could let me and Xarius sit here while this all blows over."

Once Pirah finished, Phish remembered the yelps and screams of agony certain Octarians were subjected to under a military jail time once he was drafted. He briefly wondered what the punishment for housing an arsonist was. Gulping, he stared at Pirah, who glowed with a supposed innocence, an angelic disguise. Phish was convinced she was practically an angel of misfortune.

"...I don't know... Pirah, what exactly was this… Accident?" Phish asked, though the red glow in the distance might have been evidence enough.

"Oh! Yeah, the sink broke." Pirah told Phish, sighing.

Phish mentally sighed in relief. "Ah… Right. That doesn't sound terrible."

"So when we evacuated the kitchen, I thought, 'Hey, I'll just use the portable grill instead!'." Pirah told him with a gleeful honesty.

Phish walked outside quickly, making his way around Pirah, and pushed Pirah and Xarius in, slamming the door shut behind him, sighing heavily. Pirah dusted herself off, petting Xarius like a cat. The little squid purred in delight. Phish's eye twitched as the distraught Inkling could only pinch the bridge of his nose in irritation.

"Alright, so, let me get this straight, you burned down your house." Phish sighed.

"Well, it was an apartment building." Pirah spoke up.

"Good Cod Pirah! Do you realize how many people you could have splatted?!" Phish asked, staring her in the face.

"This just in: No one was hurt in the recent blaze that overtook part of Inkopolis!" A fish chimed in on Phish's television.

Swiftly Phish spun around towards the television. "No one asked you!"

"Geez, no need to be so unprofessional about it!" The fish commented, walking offscreen.

Phish turned back to Pirah. "Look, the point is, you burnt something to the ground. Really Pirah?"

"Hey, it was an honest mistake!" Pirah cried out.

"A mistake huh? Okay, let's see, how much could a district cost to repair arson damage? Gee willikers, what could POSSIBLY be the cost? Couldn't be hundreds of thousands of coin expenses, no." Phish rambled on.

"Really? Great!" Pirah grinned, "That means everything's fine!"

"What?! No! I was being sarcastic!" Phish shouted.

"Also just in: If fire continues to spread throughout Inkopolis, insurance policies promise to fund arson victims! Victims can potentially earn billions of-" The newsfish began.

Before he could finish his statement, Phish reached for the remote sitting on the floor, raising it above his head. Sighing in exasperation, he clicked the power button, shutting the television off with a blip, the Inkling clutching his head.

"I'm going to go insane. Are there no consequences in this world for our actions?!" Phish shouted to the ceiling.

The outburst startled the young squid lying by Pirah's side, who squeaked and shuffled behind Pirah, glaring at Phish from behind her legs. Pirah smiled, picking Xarius up, hugging him warmly. The little squid still glared at Phish, who shook his head.

"Perhaps I'm already insane if this woman can practically get away with murder." Phish groaned.

Pirah blinked, walking over to the kitchen, placing Xarius on one of the seats, which he rested on contently with a small yawn.

"You know, we can leave if we're causing too much trouble." Pirah spoke up.

"You're literally making me want to tear my tentacles out." Phish sighed, standing up straight, "But despite the fact that you somehow made someone a billionaire, obviously destroying property isn't going to go unnoticed. So- Just stay here, try not to break anything else."

Phish sighed, closing his eyes, then walked over to his bed, planting his face in the pillow. Pirah blinked, staring at Xarius, who simply glared at Phish as he rested.

"Well, do you at least want to get to know Xarius?" Pirah suggested.

"At first, maybe. But if he's anything like you, then I think I'd rather stay a few feet away for the time being." Phish waved.

Pirah frowned at him, adjusting her Black Arrowbands glasses. "Hmph! You know, I thought you would be cool, but you keep being so mean!"

"I'm just being cautious, Miss Destruction." Phish muttered through his pillow.

Pirah huffed, fists planted firmly on her waist. She turned to Xarius.

"Xarius, do you think I'm destructive?" She asked politely.

Xarius glared back to Phish. His gaze became increasingly softer. Then he glanced up to Pirah, smiling sheepishly. Pirah's mouth gaped open, blushing in embarrassment. Xarius glanced back to Phish, who laid on his bed, an incredibly disturbed look on his face as he stared up at the ceiling. The little squid hummed, staring to and fro.

Pirah sighed. "Look.. Phish, I came over here because you're the only friend I know who wouldn't turn me in or anything."

"Pretty sure you could break into my house regardless if I wanted to or not." Phish sighed.

"Well, I mean, yeah, that's true." Pirah nodded in admittance, "But still, you're a nice guy. You always help me out, you know."

"Even when I should be reporting you right now." Phish muttered with a chuckle, "I must really be going insane right now."

Nah, you're just rude and overreacting.

Phish closed his eyes, raising his finger with a chuckle. "Don't you have some narration to do? Besides, this is about Pirah and her situation."

"Well, maybe." Pirah sighed, "I might apologize tomorrow."

Phish sat up, staring towards the female. "I think this is far beyond an apology."

"...I'll tell them they couldn't have gotten that money without me!" Pirah smirked.

Phish rolled his eyes, laying back down on the bed, frowning. He rested his eyes, closed shut, when he heard a slight shuffling. Opening his eyes, he found Xarius lying on his chest, staring back at him. The two of them blinked.

"...Hmm. Fast, aren't you?" Phish muttered, Xarius smiling at him. In spite of the situation, Phish smiled back, "Well, at least you don't seem as bad as Pirah."

"Hey!" Pirah shouted by the counter top.

Xarius turned back, then glanced at Phish, nodding wholeheartedly. Phish chuckled at this, Pirah pouting as a result.

"Xarius, come on bro, you're turning against your own big sis?" Pirah frowned.

"Hmm. You know, he's starting to grow on me" Phish grinned, sitting up, "He seems to have a good head on his shoulders despite his...influences."

"Phish!" Pirah sighed.

Xarius beamed. "Oy!"

"Well, at least he's having fun." Pirah smiled, making her way over to Phish, "Um, by the way, Phish, since our apartment is... burnt down I guess-"

"Oh great." Phish groaned, "You want to stay over here, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, you know, hang out, get to know each other maybe, and not get arrested! It's perfect!" Pirah spoke up, a light shining in her eyes.

"And so you can burn down my house." Phish rolled his eyes, "It's better than a whole neighborhood dying to you I suppose."

"I mean, unless everyone in the neighborhood is a criminal." Pirah spoke up.

"Well, do you live in a shady neighborhood?" Phish asked.

"No, but there's this shifty cat that keeps sleeping near the door." Pirah frowned, "Keeps holding the door up."

"Okay, well then you're still in trouble despite that... Fake as all shell insurance promise." Phish sighed, Xarius nodding, "At least your brother seems aware of that."

Xarius grinned. Pirah stared at the pair of them curiously, watching Xarius slide off of Phish's chest onto his bed, chuckling in a little squid way. Phish watched him lay in the sheets lazily, sighing contently. The older Inkling stood up, getting off his bed, then began walking off to the front door of the house, Pirah following him with her curious gaze. He walked out of the house, peering over the hills towards Inkopolis in the distance, finding the smoke had died down.

Phish turned to the right back into the house. "Looks like the fire's died down. I'll take a look and see just how much money you generated, eh?"

Phish walked out onto the grassy face of the hill. The breeze began to catch on. Switching to squid, he was just about prepared to leap off towards Inkopolis.

"Hold on! I'm coming too!" Pirah called out, running outside.

Phish stared back at Pirah. Cradling Xarius in her arms, she switched into a squid, leaning next to Phish, still holding Xarius close.

"...You're coming with me." Phish stated, as less of a question.

"Yep! I mean, someone's gonna have to apologize. Even if I get… You know." Pirah shrugged.

Phish sighed. "Alright."

With that said, Phish jetted off into the sky with a burst of blue. Pirah followed closely behind with Xarius in tow, the three squids leaping towards the remaining smoke.

* * *

A sprinkler trickled water onto charred grass. Phish and Pirah stared at a large shrimp in a fireman's uniform, who nodded at the couple of squids. A large set of tall buildings with windows and balconies decorating each floor in a symmetrical pattern laid behind them, the burnt greenery just a few feet away from the apartment complex.

"Yeah, turns out that the grill we found laying outside just burnt the grass up a bit. Nothing too problematic." The shrimp spoke up.

"So I'm not an ar-" Pirah began.

"So then no major damage was inflicted?" Phish cut in.

"Nah. Unless you count the irritated crowd protesting the news station constantly blowing things out of proportion and the insurance fraud." The shrimp stated.

As he said that, an explosion went off into the distance, colors of the rainbow splashing down by their feet. A multicolored tire rolled by, flames dying out on top as it rolled. The fireman shook his head, Phish hiding a smirk.

"People get heated up easily around these parts. I'd douse 'em if I could, you know-" The shrimp joked.

Phish stared over across his shoulder, clanging in the distance. "...Someone's waving a stop sign."

"Oh not again." The shrimp gasped, waving to them, running off.

"Well, I guess that means you can go home now." Phish spoke up, staring over at the crowd, "Though depending on the level of rioting I'd say that it might be better to look into a hotel room or something."

Pirah nodded, staring at Phish. "Thanks again for letting us stay over."

"No problem, I suppose. It was only a few minutes, right?" Phish shrugged, "Hey, hold on... Do you hear dripping?"

Xarius squeaked. Phish glanced behind Pirah, where a small waterfall coming from the top floor leaked out from one of the rooms. Pirah began to sweat somewhat.

"So… Would you happen to be free sometime soon?" Pirah asked.

"Might as well buy a guest bed while I'm out." Phish deadpanned, "By the way, how did you NOT know your apartment was on fire?"

"I panicked! It's fire, okay?" Pirah frowned.

"Well now your apartment is flooded." Phish pointed out.

"Well now I get to stay over at your house!" Pirah smirked.

Both Phish and Pirah sighed, albeit for two different reasons on the "relief" spectrum. Phish walked off, keeping away from the mob and its colorful, destructive tendencies. Soon after Phish walked off, he returned, arching an eyebrow.

"You coming?" Phish asked.

"Oh, um, sure!" Pirah smiled.

Phish nodded, walking off again, giving a quick glance. Pirah continued smiling, staying in one spot, staring at the location Phish left.

"...Oy, when are ya gonna get married?" Xarius asked.

Pirah blinked, shaking her head with a grin directed downwards,"Xarius!"

"I'm just saying. You keep staring at him funny." Xarius squeaked.

"...I'm waiting it out little brother. You know, like a shark awaiting its prey... Or something?"

Xarius's small squid brow furrowed. "What does that even mean?"

"You'll get it when you're older." Pirah grinned, rubbing Xarius' little red-blue head.

"Pirah! I doubt you'll want to sleep on the floor!" Phish yelled from across the block.

"Alright, hold on!" Pirah grinned, a bewildered look on the younger squid's face.

While Xarius had no idea what her older sister meant, he was glad that this person was watching out for her. Phish stood at the end of a sidewalk waiting for them. He stared back at them an eyebrow arched. Pirah beamed at Phish, who rolled his eyes, giving a small smile back. In the middle of their silent conversation, Pirah unfortunately did not notice a small pebble stranded in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Whoa!" Pirah gasped, nearly tripping.

"Ah, geez!" Phish groaned, moving in to catch her.

Xarius smiled. Perhaps Pirah found the pillow needed to cushion her falls. For the most part anyways, as Xarius felt himself zooming into the air, landing safely luckily. The other two Inklings on the other hand were stuck on the ground, Pirah laughing at the stumble while Phish mumbled under his breath. Xarius blinked. Hopefully.

* * *

Years later, Xarius sails the seas, map in tow, a crew of pirates on deck. Hueli the macaw sat perched on his shoulder as he stared straight ahead through the water. Despite Xarius' undying determination to locate his elder sister, one thought itched at the back of his head.

" _...I still don't get it at all, sis."_ He thought.

Oddly enough, he heard Pirah's voice as if she were right besides him. _"Then you better hurry up and find me so I can tell you Xarius!"_

Xarius smirked, giving his cap a brief flick as he and his crew sailed across the ocean, the sun fading, the waves churning, and the seagulls chirping overhead.

* * *

AN: Family is family, no matter how often they annoy or pester you. Of course, I shouldn't be teaching morals because there's always that one guy who brings up an exception. Eh, at least as long as you aren't part of the Kazama family from Tekken.

Goodness. Certainly quite an audience here tonight. Thanks Ultrapyre, write n wrong, Rynowm, and Darkstar248 for reviewing! Yeah, sorry about that small plot hole Ultrapyre, I feel like if I wrote her in a better excuse or made her seem more panicked that might make more sense. Sheesh, sometimes I think you'd be the better author of this story! write n wrong, you hit the nail right on the head, the Squidoween pun was a bit off. Of course, "Shalloween" based on shallow waters and "Halloween" and "Allshallowtide" based on "Allhallowtide" might've been a stretch, oh well, had fun making up the names while it lasted. Rynowm, I'm sure we all slacked off with a game of Donkey Kong or…something. The barrels are free, so I suppose your turn is whenever you feel like it! Finally, Darkstar248, sorry man, you seem like you really like giantesses, but I don't think I'd be able to write them in the way you'd like it… Sorry again.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to sleep. That's… Pretty much it, see you.

Oh, on a side note, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who exist I guess. Hope you guys have fun or something.


	38. The Fragile Line Drawn in the Sand

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **The Fragile Line Drawn in the Sand**

Splin sneezed. With the jumbled bits of his still functioning consciousness, he recalled that this had to be the third or fourth time he sneezed today. Two figures towered over him, staring down at him worriedly. Though blurry, he could make out their lime green and blue tentacles dancing around the heads of two he could barely recognize.

"..." He woozily shook his head, his vision still adjusting, though very slowly.

Maria and Sharq stared back at Splin, whose eyes seemed glazed over at the moment.

"Splin, wake up..." Sharq frowned, waving his hand.

"You need to wake up Splin. Come on…" Maria asked politely, rubbing Splin's forehead.

All that came out of the young Inkling was an incohesive mutter, before he closed his eyes, nestling into his pillow and comforters. The older Inklings glanced at each other worriedly.

"His temperature seems normal. I don't get it." Maria sighed.

"...What do we do now? Splin's so sick… Maybe we should take him to a hospital." Sharq suggested.

"He doesn't seem to be in pain, Sharq. Just… Extremely tired and-" Maria frowned.

"Does that mean he's dead?!" Sharq yelped.

"What?! Oh, no no no!" Maria shook her head and hands frantically, "I'm just saying he could just be suffering from energy withdrawals or something! Nothing serious, he still has a pulse and all!"

Too late Maria tried comforting Sharq. Within seconds, the older brother was curled up on the floor, biting his lip, his eyes just a bit watery.

"Oh Splin, I'm sorry!" Sharq shouted, "Where did it all go wrong?!"

"The day… We entered… That inkslide park…" Splin murmured from across the room.

Sharq spun around quickly. Splin laid peacefully on his bed with his eyes closed. Sharq glanced up to Maria, who shrugged.

"Have to give Splin credit," Maria commented, "He's certainly tact with his quips."

"Oh…" Sharq frowned, "I hope he's going to be okay."

"Don't worry Sharq. I'm sure he'll be fine. In the meantime, let's let him sleep, okay?" Maria suggested.

Sharq stared across the room over at the corner of the house where Splin and his bed sat, the staircase adjacent to the right. His younger brother's chest rose and sank with the rhythm of breathing, signifying his still beating hearts. Sharq acknowledged his life, but with a heavy set of hearts, staring down at the floor gloomily. Maria noticed his depressed stance, and pat Sharq on the back.

"Hey, what do you say we go out for a walk. Maybe that will clear your mind. Ann-Gel?"

Ann-Gel popped out behind the kitchen counter. Maria frowned, as she had reverted to her previous orange tentacled appearance. A cube stumbled about behind her, giving off a warm, colorful glow.

"Make sure to take care of Splin, yeah?" Maria asked, lifting her Golf Visor up so that her eyes caught Ann-Gel's.

"Sure Maria. The cube, Salty, the alarm clock, and I-" Ann-Gel began.

Across the room, the alarm clock ticked silently, its lights dimming, swapping out with multiple zeds floating across the screen in a floaty fashion, blips imitating Splin's light snores. Ann-Gel blinked, clearing her throat.

"Make that the cube, Salty- Um…" Ann-Gel paused.

Ann-Gel suddenly glanced around the room, then shuffled behind the kitchen counter. Venturing up the counter, looking about the room from a higher perspective to a mini statuette, then scrambling back down via a collection of shelves extended outwards like stairsteps, she walked back to the where the cube sat, frowning.

"...Where is that snail?" Ann-Gel muttered.

"It's fine, we trust you." Maria spoke softly, "Let's go Sharq."

Sharq sighed, nodding, both of them starting for the door where the greenery of the grass and the azure skies overhead, the wind whistling through the door as they left. Ann-Gel waved them off, then turned to Tele-Cube with a frown, the cube making small blips.

"Alright cube, Splin's been in bed for days now. What do we do now? Can't you make some miracle cure or something?" Ann-Gel asked.

The cube made an electronic humming noise. As it did so, a large red "X" appeared on the front of the screens, the cube shaking in a "No" fashion. Ann-Gel stared at it unconvinced. To prove its point, the cube glowed, a red and blue pill of sorts manifesting on the ground. Ann-Gel smiled, but the smile vanished as did the pill, the pill crumbling into bits.

"Huh?" Ann-Gel stared at the cube.

The cube displayed a list scribbled in a digital pen. Ann-Gel's eyes narrowed, scanning through the list quickly.

"...I don't get it." Ann-Gel muttered.

A pair of digital lines simulated pupils and rolled, the list shrinking to a small document picture on the cube's screens. Ann-Gel tilted her head, still confused. The list was followed by yet another document. And another. And a few more. Ann-Gel's pupils shrunk once she realized that a stack of document files were piling up, filling up one screen to the next with no signs of stopping, until one final page, a cover sheet, reading "Plot Device Rules and Guidelines" was added to the very top. Ann-Gel blinked once, frowning.

"...Okay, could you zoom in on the rule that refers to this… Problem please?" Ann-Gel suggested.

The cube blinked, the other sheets separating, landing on one document. A block of text was highlighted in yellow, popping out from the rest of the text.

"'Chapter FE-14, Miracle cures can potentially ruin plots easily unless a challenge or obstacle is presented for the protagonist-' Oh come on!" Ann-Gel frowned, "Splin could DIE, and you can't conjure up a simple cure?!"

A face with disembodied shoulders shrugged, a blank expression on its round, flat features. Ann-Gel stared at the ground in disbelief.

"...Well, what can you do?" Ann-Gel asked.

The cube shifted, the screens buzzing and shaking, the top of the cube opening like a package. Inexplicably conveniently, a machine with a screen with a single green line running across the black screen popped out, two identical machines following suit. The cube made its way to Splin, the machines following in the air closely behind. They were placed down on the ground with a thud, a single black bracelet popping out of the cube's top, placing itself on Splin's wrist. All of a sudden, the monitors sprung to live, with beeps, the green lines bouncing up and down, synchronized with Splin's breathing.

Ann-Gel frowned, caressing her plastic tentacles. "...Okay. Thanks."

The two animate objects watched the screens for any irregularity in the young squid's hearts carefully. Just behind the monitors, the alarm clock switched from its "snooze mode". The time ticked away slowly, as the world seemed to wait and see what the little brother would do.

* * *

Splin's eyes opened. Blinking, he glanced about.

"...I'm back here again." Splin observed, looking around the white space.

The dreamscape was as empty as ever, a single tint of white decorating every inch, every centimeter of this bizarre land, the only color in sight being Splin, his clothes, and the shaded shadow he cast behind him. With a mild hesitation, he stepped forward, the floor echoing a hollow sound as he did so. He gulped, his steps forward steadily transforming into a walk. And so Splin walked, for an immeasurable amount of time. Eventually, he slowed down, not of fatigue, but of curiosity. There laid in front of him a thin line. Very thin, a clean scar in the middle of this wondrous dream realm. A thirst for mystery propelled Splin, the solitary brother running towards the line subconsciously. As he felt his tentacles bounce up and down in the traditional wrapped style on the back of his head, he felt the back of his neck and head instinctively.

" _Ah. Still no headphones."_ Splin commented.

Despite the clearly tragic loss of the ability to listen to music, which would in turn be a gamble in the dreamscape considering the lack of sound besides Splin's own echoing voice-

"Oh, ha, ha, overanalysis." Splin smirked.

Hey man, you're the one running to the mysterious slit in the ground, I wouldn't be so hasty if I were you.

"...True." Splin muttered, attempting to slow down, "But I could do without the commentary for now."

Whatever floats your boat.

After his normal, brief conversation with the author, Splin had closed in upon the line. It sat there, beckoning to him with a sort of silence. He looked around, the only thing other than him being his shadow and possibly the voice. Nevertheless, curiosity overtook him, as Splin glanced downwards towards the line.

"...Huh?!" Splin gasped.

Splin felt himself slam into the ground. Surprisingly, it did not hurt, though it certainly shocked him. He groaned, attempting to make his way back onto his feet, pushing the ground with his hands.

"...Huh?!" Splin gasped, attempting to retrieve his hands from the floor.

He found that his hands were stuck in the line. Attempting to pull them out, he tugged, to no avail.

"Oh, great." Splin muttered, looking around him.

After staying stuck for a while, Splin formulated a simple plan. He morphed slowly into a squid, his tentacles still trapped in the floor. Slowly and carefully, he slid his tentacles back out of the ground, the two pieces slamming together. Splin sighed in relief, until he caught a look of his tentacles. Bits and pieces floated off the ends of them, blank squares with flashy colors flashing on the tentacles, colors dripping off his hands like ink. Splin switched to his humanoid form, a stunned look on his face. His fingers seemed to deteriorate in front of his eyes, creating a contrast with the white world. As he lowered them shakily, the palms of his hands touched the floor, the world seemed to end in his eyes. Flashes of color invaded his eyes, blinking about rapidly.

"Nngh!" Splin shut his eyes, the lights fading away.

Splin reopened his eyes slowly and steadily, looking around. Everything was white again. He glanced down at the palms of his hands. They looked normal to him at least. Sighing in relief, he stood up, turned around, coming face to face with a block of text.

Splin froze. The block of text floated in front of him.

"...'The block of text floated in front of him.'." Splin read aloud, his lip quivering hardly noticeably but for the sake of the reader just noticeable enough.

Splin walked around the floating text block, scanning each and every word. Each action he made, whether it was waving-

"'Waving'." Splin repeated, fear creeping in.

Walking-

"'Walking'." Splin muttered, picking up speed.

Running.

"'Running'." Splin muttered.

His fear was intensifying by the second. Not a fear to fight or of flight, but of the unknown; Splin stood paralyzed as he stared at the screen. He could read what happened. With a shaky hand, Splin touched the text in front of him, the screen moving down.

Gulping down his fright, Splin read forward, "'S-Splin woke up with a start, gasping for breath, looking about the house.'..."

It was at that point that Splin fell backwards into nothingness.

* * *

Meanwhile in reality, Ann-Gel and Tele-Cube were hopping on Splin's chest frantically, the heart rate monitors' lines going flatter and flatter.

"C'mon! Live! Live!" Ann-Gel shouted as she hopped up and down frantically.

The cube also hopped on Splin's chest, the young brother hardly breathing. Suddenly, a chilling sound caused the objects' arguably artificial hearts to sink down into their… Frames. Turning around, they noticed the lines on the monitors. All were flat. Ann-Gel, her mouth agape, nearly collapsed on the younger brother. The Tele-Cube noticed this, frantically opening its top, revealing a set of defibrillators. They sparked, the cube lowering the resuscitation tools, Ann-Gel hopping clear, eyes growing to the size of dinner plates.

Splin woke up with a start, gasping for breath, looking about the house. He quickly noticed the defib units lowering onto him, and with a newfound energy, he protested:

"Hey whoa wait stop! I'm alive- I'm fine!" Splin gasped, nearly tumbling out of bed.

The defibrillators halted mid-air, retracting back into the cube. Ann-Gel gasped with a beaming expression on her face, then ran up to Splin's face, hugging his chin.

"Oh thank Cod you're alive!" She cried out.

"Yes, of course! I'm alive. Nothing to worry about. No need to shock me." Splin stated quickly, backing away, Ann-Gel letting go out of sheer embarrassment.

"Yeah, sorry, sorry, it's just…" Ann-Gel breathed in and out.

"Ann-Gel?" Splin asked, looking over the hyperventilating trophy.

"Aw, you had us worried! Seriously, we just thought-" Ann-Gel stuttered, tears threatening.

"Okay, okay, I'm good, I'm fine. Thank you for worrying." Splin sighed, rubbing Ann-Gel's tentacles.

She smiled gleefully. "This is great! Can you walk?"

"Er…" Splin blinked, getting up and out of the bed slowly, swinging his legs over the side.

Planting his Orange Arrows onto the floor, he made extra precautions not to accidentally ruin his Designer Headphones, wherever they were. He grunted, standing up straight with a sigh, checking his hands and arms experimentally, before reaching down, picking up his headphones, placing them around his neck.

"...I'm fine." He muttered.

Ann-Gel climbed up onto the end of the bed, Tele-Cube sitting nearby. "Hey, we should go tell the others! Now that you're out of bed, we don't have to keep an eye on you, huh?"

Splin blinked, glancing around the house. "Y-Yeah."

"Hmm? Why, what's wrong with that?" Ann-Gel asked.

Splin blinked again. "Oh, uh, nothing, just had an… Unpleasant dream."

"Ah. Well, it's only a dream, right?" Ann-Gel asked.

Splin looked around him. No text anywhere.

"...Yeah." Splin muttered, "So, where'd they run off to?"

"I dunno, something about taking a walk somewhere?" Ann-Gel commented, tapping her chin.

"I think I'll find them, thanks." Splin told her with a wave.

"Bye!" Ann-Gel waved, humming.

All of a sudden, a rapid beeping caught her attention. She looked back towards the monitors of the screens by the bedside, the heart rate steadily beeping.

"Ah! Right, he must be trying to catch up with them. Well, we don't need these anymore. Cube?" Ann-Gel spoke up.

With a swift movement, the cube took the machines stacked by the bed, somehow easily compressing them into itself. Just before the machines were completely stored away, a rapid beeping caught Ann-Gel's ears.

"...What?" Ann-Gel asked, turning behind her.

She stared directly at the alarm clock, which did not do a thing, just sitting still. The amiibo frowned, turning to the cube instead. The cube halted for a minute, then pulled out one of the heart rate monitors. Sweat dripped down Ann-Gel's face. The line swirled, zigzagged, and practically did anything and everything a healthy heart rate should never do.

She gulped, looking out the window. Then she ran as fast as her little trophy feet could carry her, departing from and dashing outside the house.

* * *

Splin landed in one of the sidewalks Inkopolis with a thud, his headphones rattling around his neck. Suddenly, he felt a tingle in his nose.

"Choo!" He sneezed quickly, "...Nngh. I feel like a pipe or something shattered inside of me."

He shook his head, stumbling off on the sidewalk. Unbeknownst to Splin, behind him a fire hydrant glowed and jittered. For a brief second, it flashed. Then, with a quick burst, it exploded, water gushing up into the sky. Splin was already making his way through Inkopolis, the sound of water hardly noticeable in the background. Shocked Inklings scrambled while Splin sneezed again.

* * *

AN: Sorry for the delay, another bit of an idea drop, plus work among other things. A good tip for the day would be, "Don't buy a bunch of video games you plan on playing but then realize you have work you need to be doing". It's a good tip, trust me.

Oh by the way, you might wanna skip this rant below if you don't want to skim through an extra paragraph or two. Just warning you! :3

I'm thinking of slowing production for this story again. Now before you all go and call me out on being lazy, which, no lie, I am, I'm thinking that both my idea bank and interest in Splatoon is wavering. Splatoon was hype at first, but now I'm kinda hesitant to touch the game. Seriously, clans, friends with lightspeed Internet reactions and elite teamwork in the game and fan works outside the game just make me feel so overshadowed in comparison, it's nuts. Like seriously, I'm like that stereotypical insecure student at school who feels awkward, not the depressed emo kid who wants to cut himself every five seconds to post on tumblr, but jealous and awkward. A few of my reviewers are so much more popular and skilled than I am in video games and in their craft, *cough* Dread and Cathy *cough*, goodness me. Plus, the original idea for the story, a humorous little Splatoon story that takes pride in just being itself without being warped by outside interference or issues is taking a toll thanks to my **ANGST, HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA** **TEENAGE TURTLE GENES.**

But then again, I guess you can tell how much I don't like using the game anymore, just look at the amount of times the brothers enter a Turf War. I dunno, maybe I'm just reaching for excuses. Didn't mean any offense by it nor did I mean to come off as some guy desperate for views, "Read if you want", I say. And if I dissuaded you from reading, sorry guys! Hope the rest of your day goes smoother.

Sorry, just wanted to get all that off my chest. Aside from that **hilarious** rant, let's take a look at reviews. Thanks Ultrapyre, Darkstar248, and write n wrong for reviewing. I suppose individual work does happen to be the more responsible choice, Ultrapyre. Yes, fourth wall ignorance does happen to run in the Bate family. Well Darkstar248, that's certainly one way it managed to work its way into the story. write n wrong, thanks, I'm trying to get as many characters involved, including Willie and Zip who I feel I'm neglecting. Hmm.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to await whoever is posting next on my follow list. See you.


	39. A Fourth-Wall Shattering Narrative Quest

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **A Fourth Wall Shattering Narrative Quest!**

As Splin walked among the sidewalks of Inkopolis, he shivered again, looking about. A thick wind seemed to wrap around him invisibly, causing him to shake in his boots. He looked around. The sun was beaming down brightly enough. How was it so cold?

"...Perhaps I still retain a sickness." Splin concluded quickly, looking around the city, "Ugh… I wonder why I feel so cold… The sun is out, there's hardly a cloud in the sky."

Splin quickly shrugged off his shivers, moving forward. As he made his way forward through the city, the sun's rays beaming down began feeling much more pleasant.

"...Hmm." Splin hummed, feeling the warmth. "That's better."

The warm feeling felt pleasant. Though Splin did not notice, and probably should not have considering he would receive an unhealthy dose of sun spots if he tried, the sun also jittered and shivered behind him. Splin could not shake that terrible feeling he retained in his dream. A feeling of dread filled a pit in his stomach, like something wrong could happen at any moment.

"Ah, greetings rival." Ari spoke up, walking by casually while simultaneously whistling in a way that did not foreshadow a thing.

Okay, maybe that was a stretch, but still, after uttering a meek "Hello" to Ari, Splin continued on his way, glancing to and fro. Still, though he made his way along the streets, he was thoroughly spooked. The last thing he was "'Any of those dastardly words blocking his path'."

Splin read aloud, reading the newly imagined block of text suspended in front of him As if it were a hologram,

"'It floated in front of Splin…' Oh." Splin sighed, staring at the text suspended in front of him, "This text again."

It was not alike a flyer blowing by in the wind. The textblock was blue, like Splin's tentacles, and sat there in midair, casting a very visible shadow on the ground. Splin scratched the back of his tentacles, reaching out to touch the text. His hand had phased through it as if he were…

"'Dead'." Splin read, "Oh. Okay."

Splin blinked, staring at the words onscreen. Strangely, after reading "Dead" aloud straight from the text, he did not feel any worse. Here he was, reading presumably nonexistent words in the air on the sidewalk of a large city, populated by walking squids and talking cats. After his dream encounter, and practically dozens of universe mishaps that under normal circumstances would have shattered a person's mind, Splin had come to terms with the oddities.

"...Okay, let's see." Splin muttered, staring down, "Either I was given questionably effective medicine, I'm still dreaming, I'm… Dead. Or this is just some… Odd worldly occurrence."

Splin let his dialogue sit in the air for a while. Literally, as the block was detailing every thought, every word he had just said, wrapped in quotation marks. He frowned, looking at the sky. The Inkling cleared his throat, nodding towards the block.

What?

Splin gestured to the text block again. "You see this, right?"

Yes, so?

Splin frowned, glancing around. Freezing in place, an Inkling, just about as young as he was, walked up next to him. She stared at him, then stared forward where the text box was. She frowned, staring at where Splin was, but did not seem to notice the glaring text box in front of them.

"...Weird." The other Inkling shrugged, moving off.

"Other people can't see it? Odd… Why does this remind me of a comic I've read?" Splin muttered.

With that comment, Splin began walking away again. The text block hovered behind, details added word after word as it hovered. Splin noticed that hardly any of them detailed the world around them unless he drew attention to them or thought about the world. For instance, as he crossed over a crack in the ground, the text block began detailing itself detailing the crack, on what might have caused it, on Splin crossing over it.

"...Okay, well, how do I make it go away?" Splin asked.

Have you tried asking nicely?

Splin frowned, adjusting his headphones on his neck. He stared at the text block. The text block wrote that he stared, and that it was writing about him staring very consciously.

" _...Here goes nothing."_ Splin cleared his throat, "Um… Could you… Disappear or something?" Splin asked carefully.

The text block just hovered there, writing about how it was hovering, and relaying Splin's request in text directly back at him. Splin sighed, and the text block wrote about how he sighed.

"I'm not exactly sure how that works, but sure…" Splin muttered, "I guess I should call you something if you're going to follow me around. I mean, that makes as much sense as it does a floating text block you can see, right?"

The text block just repeated Splin's words. Shrugging, Splin took that as an affirmation.

"Okay then… Hmm…" Splin hummed, thinking up a name, "I suppose I could name you anything…"

Again, the text block repeated-

"Nostalgia! That's perfect. You recount the details of everything and- Actually, that's not exactly nostalgia…" Splin muttered.

"Nostalgia" stared in the way only a text block could. By not having eyes. Splin sighed, tousling his tentacles.

"You know what, I've already debated too much on too many things in the past. Alright Nostalgia, I guess… Let's go find Sharq and Maria."

After writing down what Splin had just said, the two set off, looking about Inkopolis curiously.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sharq and Maria were smiling, the younger Inkling laughing up a storm as Maria stared down at him, the two sitting by the very same beach that bordered Inkopolis, a strip of stores nearby, with the roads of Inkopolis behind him. An empty space where a video game reference may or may not have been used sat. The two were covered in ink like they had just worked with paint on a building- Which is practically Splatoon's gameplay in general, ink weapons, a roller, odometer attached proudly, and a charger gun sat.

Sharq ceased laughing slowly, clearing his throat. "One more! Please?"

"Alright, alright, just one okay?" Maria said, clearing her throat, the younger Sharq nodding, "So, one time my husband asked if I could play rough. So I punched him in the shoulder."

Sharq blinked curiously, staring at Maria. "...Huh?"

Maria sighed, shrugging. "Yeah, that one didn't go well with Jack either."

* * *

Previously, on Splatter Squids X:

Elsewhere, a cyborg with a silver sheen covering his tentacles caressed his shoulder, running his metallic hands over his equally metallic shoulder. He blinked, looking up suddenly.

"Wait, how do I still feel that?" Jack asked aloud.

* * *

"I liked the rest of your jokes, though!" Sharq smiled up at her.

"Aw, thanks Sharq." Maria said, with a grin.

* * *

"Hold it! Move the text up!"

Splin stared at the text bubble, reading through the event that had just taken place elsewhere, transcribed clearly in front of him. Reading upwards, he noticed the location previously transcribed.

"...Beach bordering on Inkopolis. Huh. Thanks." Splin told Nostalgia.

Nostalgia then-

"'Repeated what Splin said'. I guess there isn't much to talk about when you're just a text bubble… Wow." Splin sighed, "That was too ironic."

"Yeah, well, this story makes no sense either, so it's a lose lose situation anyways." The text bubble wrote on itself.

"Huh?" Splin tilted his head.

Okay! That's enough of that!

The text box began to fade, and blipped out of existence. Splin blinked, rubbing his eyes.

"...Sure." Splin sighed, walking around, looking for the beach.

Splin came across the beach, looking around across the sand and water. No one was sitting anywhere, and it was generally empty. He frowned. Perhaps the text bubble just liked to describe things for the sake of describing, he concluded.

"Or perhaps they left!" Ari shouted behind him.

"What the- Ari?!" Splin gasped, backing away, "What are you doing here?!"

"I see you've been hard at work on finding your brother and Maria." Ari spoke up.¨How did you-

"Have you been following me?" Splin asked, gesturing behind him.

Ari nodded honestly. "Pretty much."

"Don't you have anything better to do?" Splin asked curiously.

Ari blushed, looking away. "Well, Tai said she wanted to go watch a bunch of people… do something-"

Splin deadpanned. "Great explanation. I'm sure the courtroom will eat that up."

Ari frowned, "And Sari, Rit and Bas are off doing whatever…" Ari shrugged, ¨So, I'd figure I might assist you, and your… Text, over there!"

Splin blinked, glancing behind him. The newly named "Nostalgia" text box floated there. Splin frowned, noticing Ari's intrigued stare.

"...This is getting confusing… So apparently you can see the text box, but others cannot? Why?" Splin asked.

"Aha! I've got it! It's just like in my Japanese animes!" Ari smirked.

"..." Splin blinked, glancing back at the text block, then back to Ari. Suddenly, he froze. "Oh Cod I get that reference."

"Really? Good taste there!" Ari laughed, only bothering Splin a bit more.

"I think that just means I'm spending too much time indoors actually." Splin retorted.

Ari shrugged. "Perhaps. But that's where this adventure comes in! I shall accompany you and your- Well, saying an official name would make it less unique, don't you think?"

"...It's still 'Standing' behind me in a way though, I'm sure…" Splin blinked, looking elsewhere almost absentmindedly, "They might understand it."

Splin stared off into the distance. His eyes twitched, and very subtly a glow seemed to come from his brown irises. Blinking, he turned back to Ari.

"But still, that would be pretty obvious and unoriginal. ...Wouldn't it?"

"It's not punching things though, now is it?" Ari pointed out, staring at the text block still describing things behind Splin, "Ooh, wait, if I can see it does that mean I'm a user too?!"

"That's not an inherent- This is dragging on too long." Splin groaned.

"Then let's shorten it! What say you, rival? Can I accompany you for the time being?¨ Ari asked.

Splin sighed, staring at the ground. _"...Good grief.¨_ He adjusted his headphones, "Alright, you can come. It's getting dark though, so we better hurry."

"Perfect!" Ari grinned, "Onwards!"

Ari marched off into Inkopolis, a hum escaping his lips. Splin blinked, shook his head, and followed the older Inkling, Nostalgia doing the same in its own floaty way on their poorly named "quest" to find the others, Ari taking off into the streets quickly, Splin following behind.

* * *

Sharq hummed as well elsewhere, following Maria carefreely around Inkopolis on their way back home. Passing by a fast food establishment, they continued on through the sidewalk-

* * *

"There." Splin stopped the text, his finger landing on fast food.

The day had already grown darker. After a few hours of wandering and searching-

"As well as another trip out of our way." Splin sighed, shaking his head.

"Side quests are important to building your status, rival." Ari pointed out with a "humph". "Honestly, I'd expect Sharq to brush it off in favor of chasing after- I dunno, a bird or something-"

The two boys, as well as the ever studious text block, stood in front of a closed fast food building, the smells having disappeared.

"I can't believe we spent the entire day consulting this block of words." Splin stared at the block, "It's been a wild goose chase!"

"Perhaps." Ari nodded in agreement.

A pause followed. Splin blinked, staring at Ari. He glanced back, shrugging, only making the silence that more inexcusably awkward. Splin sighed, waving him off.

"To make matters worse, we still haven't found them! I'm starting to doubt the writing here." Splin muttered, staring at the text block.

"Maybe the writing is just a suggestion? Who's to say that it governs our lives?" Ari suggested.

"Under normal circumstances I'd probably just make it simpler and agree with you from a philosophical point of view, but…" Splin frowned.

As Splin pondered, more text floated up onto the visible screen. Splin read:

"'Maria and Sharq had decided on picking up food-' We were late!" Splin groaned, "Nostalgia's just recalling things that happened! The writing is too slow!"

Well then, why don't you try writing, hm?

"...Uh?" Splin blinked.

"...Hmm, rival, I think I should retire. It is getting late." Ari muttered, staring at the sky.

"Hmm?" Splin's tentacles swiveled around with his head, "Oh, okay. Uh, see you I guess."

Ari nodded, dashing off, giving a goodbye wave once. Splin frowned, looking straight at the screen as the footsteps of Ari vanished in the distance. He gulped, staring straight at Nostalgia.

"...I'm really going to do this." Splin muttered aloud.

With a careful hand, Splin reached at the screen shakily. The sound of something light hitting the ground startled him. Turning around quickly, he noticed a very small, barely noticeable object in the dark. He reached down, feeling around it. Light, small, and thin. Raising it up, he grasped the form of it.

It was a small pen, comfortably grippable in the palms of his hands, without a tip in which to disperse ink.

Splin froze in place, the pen almost gesturing towards the. His mind began formulating dozens of thoughts and theories on what exactly is happening. None of them hit the correct answer however, leaving Splin wrapped in confusion. He gulped.

" _...Ah. I get it. This is still all just a dream… Right? Maybe? No?"_ Splin thought to himself.

Splin stared at the screen, clutching the headphones around his neck. Pulling them off, he placed them on his ears, raising the stylus towards the screen. He hesitated. Nostalgia, the text box, just hovered there, as it "always" did.

"...This is bizarre." Splin muttered.

Splin was sure he was losing it. He swore he saw color swirling across his eyes. With a shaky hand, he took the stylus, and began scribbling. He was frightened, never before in his ink flinging, squid shifting life was he this scared. There was nothing chasing after him, nothing threatening to hurt him. But nevertheless, he was scared. So he wrote.

"I want to wake up." Splin muttered aloud.

Nothing happened. Splin waited longer, the screen hovering next to him in a desolate, night time Inkopolis, lights flickering on, the Zapfish napping on its tower across from him. There was life, safety in the streets. Splin fell to the side, leaning on the building. He watched color flash past his eyes. Words followed suit, and Splin, overwhelmed by his adventures, his weariness, and his fear, passed out.

* * *

Sharq looked about the house, frowning. "Oh…"

"Sharq, I know you must be worried about your brother, but trust me." Maria spoke up, sitting across from him by the kitchen counter, "He'll be fine. If he's up on his feet, then that means there's nothing to worry about, right?"

"That, and we bought all this food!" Sharq cried out.

True to Sharq's word, the kitchen counter had bags of fast food. Sharq's mouth was watering.

"Why did you guys get all of this food anyways?" Ann-Gel suddenly asked, popping up behind the counter.

Sharq perked up, lifting the visor of his cap up. "You know, for everybody. But Salty and Splin are missing…"

Ann-Gel frowned, putting a fist to her chin. "How does that snail get so far anyways?!"

"They'll be back soon. I'm sure it's just a matter of time." Maria stated.

A "poof" sound was heard. The household members looked about curiously. Sharq caught a glimpse of a tired looking squid nestling into its bed. Sharq grinned.

"Splin!" Sharq waved.

Splin blinked, the color from his eyes swapping back to his default brown. He glanced away, shivered once, then fell back down on the bed on his now humanoid back, his headphones rattling.

"...Wow." Splin muttered, staring at the ceiling.

"Splin?" Sharq asked.

Splin sat up straight, looking across the room. He spotted Sharq, Maria, and Ann-Gel staring at him curiously, almost as if he were an alien, though Sharq was pleased at the sight of his brother doing well. Except Splin was hardly well on the inside.

He glanced at Maria, who smiled, though somewhat worriedly. A collection of information streamed into his head. Children with extreme power prowess, hailing from a different dimension… Something about death floated about, all detailed in text in front of him.

He stared at Ann-Gel. An amiibo, grants school uniforms and a special Hero Charger lookalike when her challenges are beaten. Compatible with other Nintendo games. Splin blinked.

Then he glanced at Sharq. His older brother. The one who helped raise him when his parents were absent. He too, was detailed in data.

Splin stared at the three. He closed his eyes, then opened them again, a slow blinking process.

"Yes?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Awesome! You're fine!" Sharq cheered.

Splin blinked once more, inspecting himself. Two tentacles wrapped on the back of his head, four humanoid limbs, and four soft tentacle spikes on the back of his head, along with his Inkling characteristics of a mask-like face and two triangular ears. He was fine.

"...I suppose I am." Splin smiled softly.

"Well, come on! We bought a bunch of food!" Sharq told him, rushing over towards the bed.

"Alright, alright." Splin said, getting up off the bed.

Maria and Ann-Gel smiled at each other. Sharq stared from the other side of the room hopefully, Splin walking over without a problem, passing under the hole in the ceiling.

A squawk sounded overhead.

"Oof!" Splin groaned, feeling something drop onto his head.

"Huh?!" The others gasped.

Splin rubbed his head, frowning. He felt something cool and somewhat hard in his arms. Opening his eyes, he was met with the small, black eyes of a snail.

Salty squeaked, blinking curiously. Splin blinked back.

"...How did you-"

Before Splin could properly ask, a seagull dropped in through the hole in the roof. Though completely safe and far enough away from the seagull, Ann-Gel seemed to freak out, instinctively diving behind the counter. The seagull squawked, prompting Splin, carrying Salty, to mimic Ann-Gel's behaviors, hopping to the side. The seagull proceeded to dive by Salty, the Inklings staring in bewilderment. Sensing a delectable scent, the seagull dived towards the counter, picking up a fast food bag with one of its talons, then zoomed out the broken window, squawking as it flew away into the night.

Splin stared down at Salty again. Inspecting him, text buzzed across his eyes. Something about the seagull having missed its one call or something.

"...Rough day, huh?" Splin asked, petting the snail.

The snail blinked, nodding a bit. Splin sighed, shaking his head, walking over to the counter, placing the snail down.

"...Well, that's one bag of food we don't need to finish." Maria commented, staring out the window, "Despite… That, feel free to dig in!"

Splin and Sharq stared at each other. Sharq grinned.

"Care for a food contest?" Sharq asked.

"Heavens no, just let me eat something." Splin sighed.

As such in this world of anticlimactic endings, the Inklings, as well as the snail who had just dropped in, began digging into the bags despite the seagull's bizarre entrance, finishing the night with a meal. Splin could not help but feel unsatisfied while they dined, staring to and fro, details still floating by his vision. He sighed.

" _Perhaps things will be much more normal in the morning."_ Splin shook his head.

* * *

Salty stumbled about the house casually, hopping out onto the roof, feeling the breezy hill air, the morning sun feeling absolutely wonderful, and the sights of Inkopolis, with apartment buildings and such in the difference making the natural world combined with Inkling manufacturing wonderful to the little snail. Then it was ruined, as the snail's eyes shot open when he heard a familiar squawk. In a flash, Salty was taken away yet again by a seagull, blinking as the seagull flapped away with its indigestible meal.

* * *

AN: Okay I changed my mind, it was either getting off my lazy butt or facing Splatfest salt for the day. And I did not want to get into a heated discussion about the pros and cons of fancy dress clothes versus costumes.

(But I chose costume parties because a Josuke costume would prove fabulous enough to serve as fancy anyways.)

This is like the third time I've seen buggy reviews on this site, geez. They really need to work on that somehow. Thanks Ultrapyre, Dread Angel, write n wrong, and Darkstar248 for reviewing, I suppose, as well as CathyMirii on Steam. Really appreciate your encouraging words, really helps me get up in the morning. Aside from my alarm clock, of course! write n wrong, I was actually thinking of a Star Fox/Splatoon mini-story, that's a great idea. Darkstar248, thanks a lot too.

Well, thanks for reading as always, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you.

* * *

"Hey Sharq?" Splin asked.

"What's up Splin?" Sharq asked.

"I think now would be the good time to… Do a barrel roll." Splin smirked.

"...Splin, what the-"

* * *

Star Squid Zero! Coming… Sometime soon, I hope.


	40. Chica Cherry Cola

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Chica Cherry Cola**

A whistle and a jog spurred Willie along on a sunny day. After his initial job success, and a little along the way, a success in romance, he felt he had it pretty good. Present day, things were a bit bizarre ever since he met the brothers and Ari's so called girlfriend, but other than that he was pretty alright. Except for one nagging bit at the end of his mind.

Toting around a clear grocery bag, he stared down at a paper list of food items, drinks, all the sort, all but one written in a somewhat difficult to read yellow crossed out. Being the budding chef in a growing industry full of voracious squid teenagers, the costs were aplenty, but his job was stable enough to support a both he and Zip in their own food needs. The fact she was working besides him certainly helped. The couple were practically bonded with glue the way they adored one another. However, there was one thing that Zip might have loved more, if not as equally as she did William.

Willie paused, skidding to a halt. In Inkopolis Plaza, a flounder in a custodian uniform standing by a vending machine and a manhole was sweeping by with a mop.

"Uh, hey, what's going on?" Willie asked.

The flounder sighed, shaking his flat head. "Someone vomited by the vending machine."

Willie reeled back. "Okay… You have fun with that."

The flounder rolled its eye facing Willie, continuing sweeping up the unknown octo-puke. Willie sighed, staring back at the vending machine. As if the vomit was not discouraging enough, an "Out of order" sign was plastered on the machine.

It was not Willie's lack of dedication towards his girlfriend, either. Practically anyone standing within eyesight or earshot could see or hear them fawning over one another occasionally. However, Zip's attraction for Willie could be rivaled by one thing and one thing only, something Willie discovered years before.

* * *

A younger Willie dashed through the streets of Inkopolis, weaving past aquatic pedestrians and other sentient marine life, taking a chaotic yet organized path forward. It was his third day in the kitchen, and yet he still had troubles adjusting to the schedule.

" _Was it… Start early in the mornings on Wednesdays, then… No no, do I have freetime… That's the weekend, right?!"_ Willie thought to himself in a jumbled mess.

Not only were William's mindset messy, so was his attire. Barely keeping his chef uniform on, his tentacles untying themselves with his run, and a toothbrush spat out, Willie could be considered a mess as a result of impromptu scheduling. Still, he trudged on, the inviting sight of Oahu resting ahead. He grinned as he closed in on the restaurant, speeding up, bounding across the sidewalk, passing by street lights and newspaper dispensers with a hopeful speed.

The doors swung open, startling Willie. He sidestepped quickly, brushing himself down in an attempt to look presentable. Walking outside was none other than Zip, yawning with her yellow tentacles swaying in the breeze. Willie froze. She was removing her waitress uniform with a sigh, her regular attire underneath. She quickly planted a Sporty Bobble Hat plain on her head, the puffball dangling off behind her.

"Hey, Zip, where ya goin'? Don't we have work today?" Willie asked.

"Pela let us off the hook. She said she was visiting her cousin today to test out some ink weapons over at Sheldon's." Zip told him.

"Ah. Then does this count as a day off?" Willie asked.

"I guess." Zip shrugged, looking about.

Suddenly, something caught Zip's eye. She shuffled past Willie, the male staring at her in confusion, also ditching his work clothes. A glint in a nearby vending machine became apparent, and Willie, curious to see what attracted Zip almost magnetically followed suit. When they approached, Zip stared into the glass of the machine, smiling.

"I knew it!" She beamed.

She reached into the pockets of her shorts, frowning. She reached through each and every one of them individually, coming up with nothing.

"Darn it, left my wallet at home." Zip sighed.

"...I can pay. What do you need?" Willie asked, pulling out his own wallet.

Zip blinked, glancing back inside to the contents of the machine. "Uh, the cherry cola. '1W'."

Willie nodded, walking over to the machine, a number pad with numbers and letters engraved on the buttons. He tapped the combination in, staring at the price. Reaching into his wallet, he withdrew two coins, placing them in a slot in the machine. The sound of the metal clinking was heard. Looking back inside the vending machine, a small, dainty pink can with a cherry drawn on it was picked up by an extension of the machine, dropped into a slot, where Zip reached her hand into, picking up the can, opening it up outside, creating a hissing sound as she popped open the lid, drinking a portion of the contents with a sip.

"Ah. Thanks so much Willie!" She beamed, giving him a peck on the cheek.

Willie beamed as well, a hint of orange crossing his face. "You're welcome."

Zip smiled. "You know, this is one of the best darn drinks ever."

Willie arched an eyebrow. ¨Really?"

¨Yeah man. Wanna try some?" Zip asked, tossing the can over to him.

Willie caught it quickly. Staring at the can, he shrugged, lifting it over his head, drinking the scarlet-pink liquid as it dripped down from the can. It tasted fine, the can carrying a bubbly fruit taste. Willie nodded, tossing the can back carefully.

"Man, this takes me back.¨ Zip sighed, "Used to drink it all the time when I was little. Had to brush my fangs a lot, but it was worth it."

Willie blinked, just staring at Zip. She noticed his gaze, chuckling self-consciously, holstering the can at her side.

"Oh, sorry. I'll pay you back later, alright?" Zip told Willie.

Willie shook out of his trance, nodding. "Uh, no, it's fine."

"Really? How chivalrous of you." Zip smirked, waving him off, "Anyways, thanks for buying me the soda. See you later William."

She walked away after that teasing tone in Willie's name, weaving through a set of buildings. Willie watched her go, her swift and normal walk cycle, almost hypnotic, attracting his attention quite inadvertently. Willie found himself staring, shaking his head quickly, walking off with a face, metaphorically speaking considering his actual ink/blood color was hardly scarlet, colored crimson.

* * *

Back to present day, a light tint of orange crossed Willie's smiling face as he reflected on the events years prior. He shook his head. He was sixteen, he had a job, he needed to stop acting like a…

The teenager frowned, looking about for another vending machine. A brief recollection of his memory served, and he realized there were a couple other places to look. He turned. There was Spyke's alley and there was the one by Crusty Sean's Shrimp Kicks. With a brisk pace, he jogged through the plaza by other squid humanoids, stopping on hard pavement in front of a vending machine. He frowned, staring into it.

"Nothing." Willie sighed, shaking his head and adjusting his glasses.

The specs glistened ominously. That meant he had to check Spyke's alleyway. In preparation, he breathed in deeply, feeling the air circulate down his throat around his chest. A bead of orange sweat dropped down. Turning around, he stared into the alley. Spyke was generally a nice guy, he's heard. Willie did not know him personally, but the amount of shadiness that went around that alley could dwarf the sun. Still, if he wanted to earn a possible affectionate action from Zip, that's where he would have to look.

Gulping, he walked into the alley, crossing the plaza, entering under the second floor of the plaza that led over to the Battle Dojo. Walking under the catwalk, he made his way over to Spyke, who was tapping his hand on the ground. Pretending to avoid his sight, Willie made a beeline for the vending machine, sticking his face into the glass like glue.

"H-Hold on!" Spyke gasped, reaching out.

"Huh?" Willie blinked.

As Willie pressed on the side of the machine, a rustling from the machines caught his attention. A few clunks sounded off at the bottom. Willie blinked. The hatch at the bottom of the opened immediately, dozens of Super Sea Snails pouring out, clinking as they went. Willie blinked, looking up towards Spyke. He stared at him.

"...You saw nothing." Spyke coughed awkwardly.

Willie nodded slowly, then took off running, making sure to keep his hands on his groceries as he did so. Spyke sighing behind him, picking up the shells and the snails at the speed comparable of said snail.

* * *

Willie sighed, slowing down to a walk as he entered the sidewalks outside the plaza, looking back behind him, breathing heavily.

"...Oh, that explains what those guys do with snails!" Willie spoke up suddenly, pounding his fist on the palm of his open hand.

While Willie had initially solved the mystery of the missing snails, he still had a conundrum of his own to figure out. Every single vending machine he had passed by so far was empty of the cherry liquid. He considered returning to the store, though he had honestly doubted they carried it, and the weight of the bags dissuaded him from running all the way back.

" _...I looked across the aisle at least five times too…"_ Willie sighed, shaking his head.

Willie walked throughout Inkopolis, stopping by every vendor, every vending machine, anything that purveyed a selection of ingestible goods. Nothing. He frowned, looking up at the sky. The day was thinning, and the sun was dropping. Lowering his head back down to the ground, he sighed, taking a seat on a bench planted by the sidewalk in between a set of storefronts, frowning, placing the food down next to him.

" _This is embarrassing."_ Willie thought to himself, _"I'm pretty sure even Zip would chew me out for wasting time looking for a soda can. I should probably cut my losses and head home-"_

"Nonsense!" Ari shouted.

"Gah- Wha?!" Willie managed to spout before he fell off the bench.

Ari, and Splin for that matter, in all of their one-chapter cameo glory were standing besides Willie. Ari leaned in close, a curious stare on his face, while Splin stood to the side almost absentmindedly. Splin seemed to be staring elsewhere, but Willie, for the life of him, could not figure out where.

"A quest for soda! Noble indeed!" Ari spoke up, "It's a small favor, but a favor nonetheless!"

"...How did you know that?" Willie asked.

Ari glanced over in the direction Splin was glancing. Splin caught their eye, staring back, giving Willie a wave.

"...I don't get it." Willie frowned.

"Ha ha! See! Non-users can't see Nostalgia!" Ari pointed out.

"Oh my Cod you are really pushing this reference to the brink." Splin groaned.

Ari chuckled gleefully, then cleared his throat quickly, turning back to Willie. "But nonetheless, we'd be glad to assist you in your quest!"

"Hey, Loudmouth, really appreciate your help and all-" Willie began.

"Great! Then let's get going! Splin!" Ari spoke up, "Use your newfound abilities to locate the can of cherry cola!"

"I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today." Splin frowned, walking off, Ari following behind.

Willie blinked, hopping off the bench, a newfound curiosity within him. Under a normal circumstance, the prospect of "powers" would be scoffed at, but considering Splin's history with the paranormal, Willie followed regardless.

Splin blinked, turning around. "Wait, we're seriously doing this?"

"How else would you obtain EXP Splin? It's integral-"

"Okay, I get it. Hush now." Splin sighed, "Alright Willie, what do you need?"

"Cherry cola can. Only in vending machines!" Willie explained quickly.

"Hmm." Splin muttered, staring ahead.

Willie followed his gaze, then cleared his throat, attracting his attention. "So, what are you looking at anyways?"

"Hmm? Oh. A floating block of text." Splin muttered, Willie blinking.

Willie hummed. As the trio of Inklings walked, Willie walked in front of Splin quickly, waving his hand in front of his face. The younger Inkling flinched, glaring at Willie.

"What?" Splin asked.

"Just making sure you're sane, man." Willie chuckled, "I don't know how you're going to find the cherry soda, but thanks anyways!"

Splin rolled his eyes, shuffling his headphones. "I wouldn't say that any of us are entirely sane in this bizarre world of ours, but sure. I'm sane."

* * *

They continued their brisk walk, ever valiantly in their quest to procure soda. They crossed mountains, deserts, plains as far as the eye could see, roaming for hours on end! The adventurers stopped, pausing, at the head of the group, rival and William-

"I could do without the narration, Speedwagon." Splin muttered.

Ari chuckled at Splin's comment, only causing Splin's more distress, in that his eye twitched.

"Great, now you've got ME spouting references!" Splin shouted.

Ari cocked an eyebrow, leaning on a nearby lamppost sticking out of the ground. "Perhaps that was my plan all along?"

"If, 'narrating until it went dark' was your plan." Splin huffed.

"Wait, what?" Willie gasped.

Willie whirled around to the lamppost Ari leaned on with his arm. The light on top was illuminated, casting shadows wherever the light touched. Willie gulped, glancing around. The buildings and streets were already beginning to darken, lights from windows and more street lights serving as the sun's substitutes.

Willie blinked, looking around. "How is it dark already?! Ari, you made us lose track of time!"

"I couldn't concentrate either. It's sort of difficult to read in the dark while jogging, too." Splin told him, frowning.

"Hey! It's perfectly fine! Look, we can still see in front of our faces, can't we?" Ari told them, extending his arm out.

Promptly smacking Splin in the process, might I add. Splin recoiled at the smack, rubbing the back of his head ruefully and irritated, Ari grinning sheepishly.

"Well then, I've got to find it quick! C'mon!" Willie announced.

Willie took off, leaving the other two in the dust. Ari took the flight as an escape, skedaddling off after him, leaving Splin to groan behind him. A brisk jog through the city provided plenty of opportunities for Willie to spot a suitable can, but to no avail. All of the vending machines he passed by were empty of the fruity drink. After a long while, and a loss of breath, Ari stopped in front of an apartment building, placing his hand on the side, gasping for breath. Unfortunately, in the process of doing so, his glasses slipped off his face, falling onto the ground. Cursing for a moment, he stooped down to pick it up. That was when he heard footsteps in front of him. Looking up cautiously, he froze when he noticed Zip standing over him.

"Hey Willie." Zip greeted him in a soft tone, "Finished shopping yet?"

"Uh, yeah! I um, got everything you asked for…" Willie spoke up.

Fumbling at his side, Willie's eyes expanded. In his haste, he forgot the bags back at the bench. Willie stood up quickly, Zip giving him a curious stare, two hands wrapped behind her back.

"Hey, Willie, you dropped your bags back at the bench."

Willie turned around. Splin, hoisting the set of groceries by his side, Ari standing next to him, walking about proudly, to Splin's discontent. He set them down on the dark sidewalk, sighing.

"Exemplary work, Splin! Perfect!" Ari applauded him with a smirk.

"Gee, thanks for helping." Splin sighed, standing up slowly.

"Hey guys." Zip waved from behind Willie, "Sorry for the trouble."

"It's, uh, fine." Splin nodded, "Just… Glad to help."

He seemed to direct the last part over to the side. Ari, standing by, whistled carelessly, sticking his hands in his Varsity Jacket. Splin rolled his eyes. Willie frowned, getting to his feet.

"Yeah, thanks…" Willie waved, turning back to Zip shortly after, "Zip, listen, about the groceries."

"Hold on, before you say anything, I've got a surprise for you." Zip grinned, "Close your eyes."

Willie arched an eyebrow. Zip seemed to make a silent plead with her eyes, smiling at him almost dubiously. Willie frowned, then shrugged, closing his eyes on order.

"Open your mouth." Zip asked politely.

Willie grew suspicious. "What? Why?"

"Just open it please." Zip asked again.

Willie sighed, Zip snickering in front of him heard clearly. He opened his mouth. Suddenly, he tasted a bubbly, fruity substance running down his throat. He closed his mouth, feeling some of it splash on his face.

"Whoops!" Zip chuckled.

Willie opened his eyes. In front of him, Zip held a can in her right hand, a toothy grin on her face. Willie was not sure how to respond.

So he improvised.

"H-Huh?" He stuttered.

"I got the last can of cherry cola they had in Inkopolis!" She grinned, "I heard that the company was sold to another one, and they stopped production on the drinks. So I thought I'd snag one."

The other Inkling hardly said a thing, he just stared back at her.

"It appears our work here is done, rival! I assume we'll be splitting the experience?" Ari asked.

Splin shook his head, walking off with a sigh and a passing comment: "Shut up Ari."

Ari frowned. "Well that's no way to treat a narrator!"

Ari huffed, but followed regardless, Splin mumbling something else under his breath. Willie and Zip laughed, then turned to each other.

"Hey, thanks again for buying food." Zip cooed.

Willie blushed, "Hey, wait, weren't you the one who told me to in the first place?"

"Maybe… Still doesn't hurt to be chivalrous, doesn't it?" Zip asked, leaning in closer.

"...Sure." Willie smiled, following her example."

"But as much as I'd want to reward you, you aren't getting anything until we go inside." Zip winked, dashing off into the apartment complex.

That left a somewhat stunned the William Lippel Inkling who sat outside on the sidewalks of Inkopolis. Blushing wildly, as well as a hearty laugh, he chased after Zip into the apartment building, the front doors clacking against each other as the two squids playfully ran up towards their room to spend the night together.

* * *

AN: Even if it technically didn't take that long, it felt like eons of awkward writing to me. I probably never will get any romance in my life, (which is actually great for me because I'm selfish when it comes to sharing pizza) so here you have it! Detailed straight from a single turtle's mind, you're… Welcome, I think.

Seriously though, what is up with the reviews glitching and bugging out again? Goodness me, it's like they're being served on plates of escargot at the pace they're appearing on stories, they're like ghosts, the author can read them through e-mails but no one else can. Oh well.

Thanks Darkstar248, Ultrapyre, and write n wrong for reviewing again! I always thought of Ari as the guy too wrapped up with himself to really think much of logic, Ultrapyre. Of course, that might change with Tai, probably, maybe. Hopefully they start fixing that review issue, write n wrong.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle. And romance is awkward, I don't know how some of you people out there can manage it so easily. Must be hard. gg ladies and gentlemen.


	41. Culture Shock

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **A Huge Culture Shock**

Sitting on top of a derelict, desolate, dirty, and other words that begin with "d" shack was a lone Octoling, dangling her legs off the top of the sheet metal the shack was constructed out of. The light-blue sky beamed overhead, and the rocks surrounding Octo Valley surrounded the platforms hovering in the air like a dome.

Said Octoling constantly banged her feet on the back of the shack, whistling lazily. Up until the point where a biscuit was tossed at her face.

"Ow! Hey!" Tai yelled, rubbing her cheek where the edible missile had landed.

Out from under the shack, an irritated old squid in a captain's uniform shook his fist at the Octoling, the shake reverberating to the equally rickety cane he supported himself with in his other palm. Crumbs from the biscuit dropped down from his fist.

"Dagnabbit! Can't you Octo-Jerks bother some other geezer?! I'm trying to sleep!" Cap'n Cuttlefish yelled.

Tai ceased whistling and blew a gust of air out her mouth, yawning. "No can do, oldie. DJ Octavio kicked me out for the day, said something about 'guests' and 'me not being able to scare them'."

"I'd think you'd annoy them to the end of their wits before scaring them." Cap'n frowned, "Get off my shack, you!"

"Naaaah. It's actually pretty comfy up here. Also it's nice getting free food." Tai stretched her arm, a biscuit in one of the palms of her hands.

She tossed the biscuit up to her face, eating it and swallowing it within seconds, a satisfied belch coming after. She smirked down at Cap'n deviously, the elder shaking his head. He began walking back under the shade of the shack back to lounging on his raggedy blue couch, when the rattling began again. Cap'n groaned, tilting down his captain's cap and shutting his eyes as he slouched down on the couch. Tai stared up at the sky from the top of the shack, watching the clouds roll by. She enjoyed the clouds. Provided a comfy shelter from the overbearing rays of sun, lazily rolling past without a care in the world, like she aspired.

Unfortunately that proved to be extremely boring lounging about on an old man's roof, so Tai huffed, getting up off the top of the shack, glancing about. There were not any Inkling agents around she could mess with, and the rest of the Octolings were hard at work with… Something. Octavio had ordered Tai out of the base while they said they needed something done without her.

" _Better not be having fun without me."_ Tai thought to herself, frowning.

The Octoling began walking, no clear destination in mind. She could leave and mess about Inkopolis, discreetly of course, but that ran the awkward chance of meeting Ari after shooing him off, and, well…

Tai sighed. Ari seemed to be smitten with her. There was nothing inherently bad about that either, she liked the guy, he had a sense of justice and pride about him that was admirable. At least from her standpoint. Still, being tied down by relationships sounded boring, and Tai wanted either an exciting or relaxing lifestyle.

But personally, I prefer the air.

Tai blinked, glancing up at the sky with a curious grin. "Oh, hey voice. You can… Do things, right?"

Depends.

"Cool," Tai started with a grin, "Find me something to do!"

Do I look like a miracle worker?

Tai stared at the transparent sky.

"Uh… Yes?" Tai blinked, narrowing her eyes, "Look, I just need to do something. I'm booooored, and Octavio and Cuttlefish are being boring old men."

Cap'n Cuttlefish snored loudly in his sleep across from her. With a pout on her face, Tai gestured to the side towards the old sea captain.

You could always read a book.

"...Nah." Tai muttered, raising her finger up into the sky, "Hmm, well, hang on one minute. Maybe those two could have something fun to do."

With a mind made up, Tai nodded, walking towards a manhole planted firmly in the ground of the platform Tai and the Cap'n were suspended on. Looking over towards the entrance in the earth, Tai switched into a violet octopus, hopped up into the air, and spiraled downwards into the manhole.

* * *

Much later, Cap'n would discover a handful of birds sticking to his roof like glue, crumbs serving as a buffet for the unwanted avian guests, only causing his mistrust of octopuses to grow.

* * *

As par the course, Tai entered the brothers' house through the top, the hole in the house providing a suitable entrance for the Octoling. She looked around curiously. The wooden home seemed deserted. She looked to the side. Maria's bed had a few pillows haphazardly left on the bed with soft indentations, signaling her lounging habits. Tai blinked, then glanced elsewhere to another bed, the brothers'. The set of beds were left somewhat messy, only the one closer to the stairs than the left wall had a few crumbs on it.

So far, it seemed like Tai would just have to come back later if she wanted entertainment or grub. She shrugged, turning for the door to leave, but when she stepped back, she heard a slight crinkling noise. Spinning around, she spotted a flat box with a picture on it on the floor, next to the television. She stared at it curiously.

"The shell is that?" She muttered, stooping down.

Picking it up, she looked over the box. She felt around it, her fingers finding a slight indentation that must serve as a lid or something. Pushing upwards, the box opened, revealing a disc, with another picture on it.

" _What are these? Just colorful discs?"_ Tai frowned, looking around.

Eventually, Tai noticed a black box on the ground, thin wires connecting from the back up towards the television screen set by the wall. She hummed, glancing to and fro, then crouched down. There was an opening, thin enough for a disc. A red light on the front of the machine glowed over a button labeled, "Power".

"...What is this, some sort of extra television… Thing?" Tai fumbled, reaching for a word.

The little box felt familiar in a way. Tai shook her head, glancing around again. The house was still oddly empty. Grinning, Tai reached down, taking the disc out of the case, clicking the power button with her free right hand. The red light switched to blue. She hummed, staring up at the television screen. For a moment, it did not activate, prompting Tai to impatiently tap her foot.

"...Oh." She muttered, noticing another power button on the side of the television, _"That seems sort of inconvenient. And dumb."_

Nevertheless, the boredom void eating away at Tai prompted her to start the screen up. Walking over, minding the box on the ground, she clicked the button on the television, staring at the blank, black screen.

Then felt her eyes expand as color filled the screen.

* * *

Elsewhere, the brothers walked out of Inkopolis Tower under the gaze of the Great Zapfish out into the plaza, small finches collecting around railings and building roofs. Sharq seemed rather pleased, cradling a roller with an odometer counting at least a hundred of splats while Splin hoisted around bags of coins with grunts.

"Thanks for coming with me to watch me play Turf Wars!" Sharq piped up, "Though that one time you joined was kinda awkward."

"I was rusty." Splin muttered.

Sharq smirked at his brother. "How do you get splatted twenty-times? That can't just be rust."

Splin rolled his eyes. "Some people aren't built for Turf Wars, thank you."

"Didn't you help me beat Ari that one time?" Sharq asked, "You know, with that teamwork technique where I-"

"Yeah, yeah. That was probably just luck, how do two Inklings win against four?" Splin asked, walking ahead.

"Strategy!" Sharq grinned.

"...Sure." Splin shook his head, "Can we go home now? I'm getting a bit tired of lugging your rewards around and... uh…"

Splin fumbled with a small batch of coins in one of his hands.

"Mine as well." He muttered in embarrassment.

"Alright!" Sharq nodded, sheathing his roller behind his back, the roller inexplicably sticking to the ink tank strapped to his back because video games.

"Hold on, how are we supposed to get this-" Splin set down the bags of coins, a few scattering about the floor, "Over there?" He pointed over to the hills they called home.

"Hmm…" Sharq hummed, then beamed, an imaginary light bulb bursting over his head, "I've got an idea!"

Sharq leaned over to Splin and whispered into his ear. Splin frowned, staring at his older brother, who just leaned back with a smirk, glancing to and from the bags of gold. Splin sighed, switching into a squid immediately. Sharq followed his example, and the two squids ducked under the bags.

"Okay, on the count of three, we jump!" Sharq announced.

"Sure." Splin said in a non-reassured tone of voice.

"One… Two… Three!"

They launched into the air. The initial reaction was the two and the bags making a small hop off of the ground, but other than that, the asphalt was the closest to sky they would get.

"..." Splin murmured something under the bags.

"What?" Sharq asked.

Splin's squid head poked out from underneath the bags. "We're going to have to invent a new approach."

Sharq nodded, the two retreating back underneath the bags, switching to their humanoid forms, walking off around the plaza in hopes of something hitting them, figuratively.

* * *

Tai stared at the video game's title screen, blinking. "...If this is a movie, it's super lame."

The bewildered Octoling just stared. It was truly a sight to behold in her opinion. She just did not know quite how to respond. A message labeled "Press Any Button" was laid flat on the title screen. So, the Octoling shrugged, standing up, walking over to the television. She clicked the power button. When the television shut off, she scowled.

Tai groaned. "What the f-"

* * *

"Fire!" Sharq shouted, pointing forward.

Splin lifted an Inkzooka over his head, the money bags sticking out of the barrel, wrapped neatly. A handful of Inklings had gathered to witness the spectacle that was the brother's money mishaps. Splin reached back, feeling the trigger, then pulled it, the money launching forwards through the sky, the bags lifted in a tornado of ink, spirited away.

Splin lowered the gun, sighing. "That's that."

All of a sudden, the Inklings gathered behind them cheered. The two spun around surprised, glancing at one another, then waved awkwardly.

"This just in! Two squids have just launched bags of money off into the horizon!"

"And there's the news." Splin muttered, staring up.

True to Splin's observation, behind them all, Callie and Marie were up in the studio, the bubbly, black-tentacled Squid Sister had her hand on a microphone, excitably commentating while her less enthusiastic cousin just sat to the side, staring at her.

"You know, we didn't need to come into work today." Marie muttered, her baggy eyes a telltale sign of her fatigue.

As the crowd cheered on, Splin switched into a squid, and began hopping off towards the hills. A distracted Sharq behind him continually bowed and waved despite not entirely understanding what happened. A blue tentacle reached for his arm, pulling him away from the crowd as he waved.

* * *

Tai had finally figured it out. Do not press any of the buttons actually on the console or television. Aside from that confusing information, she had finally managed to start playing. Already she was having a blast.

"You can beat people up?! That's amazing! I had no idea Inklings had such great taste in home entertainment!" She grinned, "Man, the guys back home really need to try something like this! It'll be a hit!"

Bags of money dropped from the roof, landing by Tai. She blinked, setting the controller down, glancing at the money bags which had stains of blue.

"Well that was quick." Tai grinned proudly.

Turning back to the television screen, she stared down at the controller, experimentally pressing a button. It was not as satisfying as actual combat, but it was certainly better than having to spark a whole new war just to mess someone's face up in her opinion. She continued her little escapade of digital fighting blissfully.

"Whatcha playin'?" Sharq asked behind her.

Tai blinked, turning around. She was beaming, her eyes glistening with an almost untapped joy that was bizarre for the normally collected octopus.

"I have no clue," She admitted, "But it's amazing! These things- They're called video games or something, right?"

"Yeah! You've never played one before? It's like a passage of life! It's like required!" Sharq oozed.

"Dude, we need to get these down to Octo Valley." Tai stated simply, staring at Sharq seriously, "I cannot let my people go without these."

"Why do you two keep gushing about video games? They're pretty good," Splin said for a moment, standing at the side with a broom, sweeping money away, "But they're not the epitome of our culture."

"Speak for yourself man, this is better than anything." Tai smirked.

"Oh please. It's not like our lives depend on them-"

Splin paused quickly, looking around nervously. He blinked time and time again, almost as if he did not want to finish that sentence for fear of something greater.

"Hold that thought." Splin muttered.

Splin started walking out of the house, the two other cephalopods watching him walk, the door shutting behind him, reverberating throughout the small house. The two stared at each other.

"What's up with Splin?" Tai asked.

"I think he's going through puberty." Sharq frowned.

"...Harsh." Tai muttered, standing up, "So, wanna get moving?"

"Huh?" Sharq blinked.

"Aren't we going out to get a bunch of video games and dump it on Aussie or something?" Tai asked.

"Really?" Sharq stood up, beaming.

"As long as we can pay for it man." Tai shrugged, standing up, stretching, "We can use the dough you guys earned."

Sharq "oohed", glancing over to the pile of coins. The gleam and glitter was enough to convince Sharq that they had what it took to do something, that would probably do nothing in the long run except provide mild entertainment. Still, the two were filled with a drive, Tai wanted the other octopi to stop being so work orientated and actually have fun for once. Sharq just liked the prospect of adventure.

"Well, what are we waiting for?! Quick, help me grab a few bags!" Sharq called out, running towards the set of cash.

Tai grinned. "This is gonna be good."

* * *

Splin attempted to whistle, but it came out weakly, and had only a hint of a melody. He sighed, leaning back on a thin tree, a few apples strewn above, ripe for the picking. Though the whole dimensional mishaps were cleared up for the most part, he was still skeptical of the apples that grew on the hills he and Sharq called home. Maria, Salty, and the Tele-Cube were missing, and the last thing he wanted was another portal adventure. He did not want to risk decimating the very fabrics of existence that were already unraveling at the seams.

"That could not have been worded worse." Splin sighed, shaking his head.

Well, Splin, you happen to have bigger fish to fry at the moment, so I don't think interrupting the author is worth it.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Splin asked, getting to his feet.

He was answered immediately. A crash sounded out, mixed with a violet splattering out into the air. He stared ahead. An unknown object shot out of the house, flying off towards Inkopolis. Splin's pupils shrank. Breaking into a run immediately, minding his headphones, he sprinted towards the house, slamming open the door. There was a purple crater underneath the hole in the ceiling, and the alarm clock was beeping wildly, covered in violet. But it was the absence of something that made Splin nearly keel over.

The coin bags were gone, save for a few golden trinkets strewn about the floor, and a piece of paper. Splin's eye twitched as he made his way over to the paper, reading it as he walked.

WE.O.U A bunch of money.

-Tai and Sharq :3

Splin stared at the note, his brain still processing the basics of what had happened. Then, he spoke up:

"I'm too tired to deal with this." Splin muttered, walking off to his bed.

With all of the excitement that had transpired, Splin's tired mind simply opted for the most basic of solutions: sleep it off and ignore it. Crashing on his bed, he groaned into the sheets. Crashing on the floor, the extra pieces of the roof that made noise only irritated Splin further, as he could barely hear Tai's laugh echoing through the air.

"...Octopuses." Splin muttered.

* * *

AN: This chapter originally had something to do with a lot of video game references, but right now I'm saving them for later, next chapter could be something about Phish and Pirah, or maybe Xarius, but I'm saving the continuation for later. Also because I'm saving up a lot of chapters and stories right now for later. Also because I'm saving a bunch of KitKat candies for later. I think I lost track of what I was saying, but that might also be because I'm saving stuff up.

Ignoring that redundant tangent, let's move on. Thanks Darkstar248 and write n wrong for reviewing! Thanks for that observation Darkstar248, that was pretty much the thought I had after "The Bate Brothers' Adventures" was finished, expand on the story I had already built, so… You win a digital, text-flavored KitKat I suppose! Thanks write n wrong, I try to keep things charming.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to sketch some squids, see you.


	42. Yar, Xar

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

" **Yar, Xar."**

A gentle breeze blew past on the great expanse of the sea. Seagulls glided in the sky, shoving off towards land. A lone ship rolled across the waves. At the helm, the self-proclaimed pirate, Xarius, his tentacle blowing out of his hat in the wind, steered the ship. The sky was already growing dim as the sun dropped below the waves in the distance.

The bags under his eyes were a clear call that Xarius was suffering from sleep deprivation, the captain attempting to steer the vessel while simultaneously keeping his eyes open. The only thing keeping him awake was his drive to find his sister, lost somewhere in the world.

Well, that and the incessant squawking of a parrot.

"Ay, Xarius! Wake up!" Hueli squawked, flapping his crimson wings.

"Whuh?!" Xarius accidentally spun the ship's wheel to the right.

A sound akin to that of a horrible traffic accident occurred. Xarius cringed at the noise, closing one eye. On the open sea, devoid of any modern technology, a siren wailed, almost reverberating through the water.

"Oy." Xarius groaned, "That's the…"

Xarius groggily counted with his free hand. He could vaguely make out a four. Turning to Hueli for affirmation, the macaw shook his head solemnly.

"Nope. Double." Hueli frowned.

Xarius blinked. He took both of his hands and displayed all ten digits.

"Xarius, that's the eighth time you've crashed into something this week!" Hueli squawked, "Look, your sister's important and all, and we all respect that, but you gotta get some rest."

Xarius frowned, turning back to the wheel. As he reached for the wooden spokes, the scarlet macaw flapped over and pecked his hands. Reeling back in surprise, Xarius scowled, making shooing movements with his hands. Hueli frowned, or at least made the impression of a frown with his beak, staring back at Xarius.

"Hueli's right Xarius." Someone called from over across the deck.

Xarius blinked, glancing ahead. On the deck, an Inkling, her orange tentacles covered by her bandana cap, stared across at Xarius worriedly, hands by her hips over her pirate uniform.

"Rosili." Xarius greeted her.

"Look, you're our captain," Rosili spoke up, "But that doesn't make you any less susceptible to fatigue than us. Take a break, I'll take the wheel."

Xarius stubbornly stuck to the wheel like glue, looking ahead out to the water past his crewmate.

"Xarius, if you don't move from that spot, I'll have to take drastic measures." Rosili threatened, pulling up the sleeves on her arms.

Xarius grunted, ignoring her, spinning the wheel around as the ship glided across the waves. Rosili shook her head, ascending a staircase up to the wheel built into the ship. Rosili seemed to easily sneak up behind him. Then, with a simple slip, she leaned on Xarius' back.

"...What are you doing?" He asked with a frown, not taking his eyes off the sea.

Rosili snuggled into his back as if he were a bed. "I'm waiting for you to give in so I can take the wheel from you."

"...It's not gonna work, leave now while ye can Rosili." Xarius groaned.

Rosili yawned, moving her back and hips so that they felt comfortable on Xarius' back with a devious smirk, only bothering Xarius as time went on. After a few minutes of Rosili pretending to try and fall asleep on him, Xarius finally cracked.

"A'right! I'll get some rest, geez!" Xarius frowned, taking a step away from the wheel, Rosili grinning proudly as she stepped away from him and took the wheel, "Don't have to make things so-"

Xarius had attempted to end that sentence with "awkward" or "uncomfortable", but ended up saying "snore" instead, falling on the wooden side of the ship encompassing the wheel and its staircases like a railing. He immediately took up sleep on the wooden walls.

"Oh, goodness." Rosili frowned, turning to the deck, "Lower the anchor, captain down!"

* * *

The Inkling was not always so keen on finding his sister. Before Xarius wished to sail the seven seas tirelessly, he was just a kid.

He was a squid far before that, let's not go into that overdone meme already, it's already been cooked medium rare, no need to char it further.

* * *

Far before Xarius had the odd Inkbrush, or gone on this adventure to find his sister through a confusing mechanic of using maps stolen by and from old hermits, he was just a boy living life with his older sister.

"Xarius?"

Xarius muttered, waving away at the air with his tiny tentacles.

"Oh, Xarius?"

Again, the squid murmured something unintelligible, rolling about in the comforts of his soft bed with his eyes closed.

"Oh boy. You're really knocked out, huh? I didn't want to do this…"

Xarius felt fingers running up his squishy belly playfully and quickly. Xarius attempting to protest, but his initial irritation was switched with laughter, the tickling being too much for him to handle. Another playful laugh joined in. Xarius opened his eyes, now wide awake and better spirited, staring up into the hazel eyes of his sister through her glasses, Pirah cooing at his awakening.

"Aww… Good morning little brother!" Pirah called out, lifting Xarius up.

At the sound of that greeting, Xarius blushed. "Oy! I ain't little anymore!"

"Ten years old is still little in my world. And you're still younger than me, so I win." Pirah told him in a matter-of-factly way.

Xarius frowned, he was carried away from his bed, which sat in a small room of his own. Pirah took him out from the room and waltzed into a spacious apartment living room, with a kitchen complete with counters over at the side, (still drenched with water) and a couch overlooking the wondrous views of Inkopolis' buildings. Which at worst were… Tall and glamorous. Meaning that they were practically on a cloud of comfort on how they were living. Clean floors, comfortable furniture, and a view that could rival that of the top of Inkopolis Tower's.

* * *

Meanwhile, Phish sits at home in his lonely wooden shack.

Phish glanced up at the broken ceiling with a frown. "Screw you."

Now back to a nicer Inkling.

* * *

Pirah set down her brother on the stainless counter, the sun beaming down on his squishy, red head. Pirah hummed carefully, leaving her little brother to himself as she made her way into the kitchen, carefully taking stock of all of the things that were remotely edible.

"Alright, let's see…" Pirah hummed.

Xarius sat still on the counter, glancing around the apartment room. It was comfortable and large enough for Xarius to prevent himself from getting too uninterested after a while, and his sister practically glomped him every minute of the day, which was a bit of a double-edged sword if he wanted to spend some time alone lounging on his bed. Speaking of his sister:

All of a sudden, Xarius was snatched off the counter by Pirah, who began sprinting out wildly. Just behind them, Xarius could make out the glow of an oven. Which was not too hard, considering the fact that the oven was open and flames sprouted from the mouth of the cooking device. Xarius quickly decided that perhaps his sister was far from a master chef.

Outside the apartment building, Pirah leaned on the side of the wall, sighing with little Xarius still in her arms. The younger, dyed red squid stared up at the floor he and his sister had just fled from, moments before. An explosion rocked the building to its core, and a column of fire erupted from the building.

"Well, I guess you shouldn't heat milk up that way then." Pirah hummed.

Xarius deadpanned. Despite being carried by her right this instant, he could hardly believe that she was any older than him. Pirah and Xarius gawked at the apartment spewing flames as if it were a dragon that woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

"I guess that means we'll have to go to Phish's!" Pirah decided, standing up, walking off into the sidewalks of Inkopolis with a whistle.

As she tread the gray pavement, a collection of emergency vehicles, from the crimson-red of the fire trucks to the sleek black design of the police cruisers, marine inhabitants in the cars that caught glimpses of the billowing, burning building would shrink in their seats at the sight. Meanwhile, Pirah hummed, skipping away as if the fire had not happened, carelessly letting the flames dance around.

" _Darn it Pirah."_ Xarius thought to himself, watching the fight against the fire escalate in the background.

* * *

The pair of Inklings landed on the grassy hills Phish called home swimmingly. Though the crater caused in the dirt from where Pirah had slammed into the hill was somewhat contradictory to that, she and Xarius were unharmed. Spitting out chunks of grass and dirt, Pirah began ascending the hill with Xarius in her arms, the younger squid staring up ahead. Soon after the arduous climb up the grassy mound, she approached the front door of the house, and knocked.

On the other side of said door, Phish was crouching, frowning. He had heard the crash at first. Now he knew exactly was at his house and had a decent indication of what they wanted. The newsflash repeating the events of her initial effects was a dead giveaway as well. So Phish was crouched behind the door, somewhat dreading Pirah's visit, though held somewhat of an embarrassment. It was hardly his fault Pirah destroyed things, but he felt somewhat responsible for the young woman's actions. Sighing, Phish got up to his feet, braced himself, and opened the door.

"HiPhishI'mgonnagetsomefoodreallyquickwatchoverXariusokay?" Pirah asked in a speed that could rival hedgehogs.

With all of… "That" said, Pirah dashed off away from the hills, switching into a blue squid, taking aim for the skies. She blasted off, becoming nothing more than a glint in the sky as she traveled. Phish nearly had no clue what she meant, until he realized there was something squishy cradled in his arms. Glancing downwards, he spied Xarius, who was just as equally confused as to what had just happened, staring at Phish with a reasonable curiosity.

"...Make yourself at home." Phish mumbled, walking in the house with a quick push of the door using his foot, closing it.

Phish placed Xarius down on the floor, putting his hands on his hips, debating what to do with the little squid. Said squid continually glanced around the house with an awed hum. The house, in comparison to the apartment building both he and Pirah called home was hardly spacious. Just a lonely bed in the corner, a few pieces of furniture, a kitchen that accounted for a fourth of the entire building, and a television. Stairs led up to the roof, but Xarius simply counted that as a flat top, and the hole in the ceiling was less than safe or appealing.

Phish had made this place his home, Xarius concluded, despite its objectively shabby composition and structure due to some accident or lack of funds. How this place managed to stay up on this hill in one piece was bewildering. But, curiosity took over regardless, and the squid began to slide off, Phish too lost in thoughts to actually observe him.

" _What should I do with him?"_ Phish frowned, one hand placed under his chin, _"He might get himself hurt… I can't put him somewhere high, can I? How old is he?"_

As Phish thought to himself, Xarius happened to make his way over to Phish's bed, attempting to climb up, but to no avail, which he felt was a shame considering his sister's rude awakening. Instead, he decided to go adventuring nearby the wooden dresser right nearby the bed. One of the drawers stuck out the bottom of the dresser, piquing Xarius' curiosity.

Too little too late did Phish notice Xarius climbing up into the drawer. "Hey, hey, hold on!"

Xarius dropped into the drawer, looking around. A glint caught his eye. In the corner of the drawer, barely exposed to light, was the handle of something. Xarius blinked. The mystery clearly was too overbearing, as he had already caught hold of it when Phish pulled the little squid out of the drawer.

Phish frowned, tugging the struggling Xarius out of the drawer. "Careful! That's where I keep all of the Great Turf War spoils I salvaged! You could really- Er."

In the tiny stubs Xarius used as hands, he held a large Inkbrush.

"...Why did I keep that." Phish wondered aloud.

* * *

Somewhere in Inkopolis, Pirah strolled through a small supermarket, which had a fresh, "New" on the front of the store, obviously having just been constructed. She hummed as she pushed along a shopping cart past other Inkling and aquatic citizens of the city of squids. She walked through each aisle, inspecting each shelf slowly.

Slowly.

And slowly.

Bags seemed to grow around her eyes. "...This is too slow."

A laugh track played outside in a dumpster, than was crushed underneath the weight of a few trash bags. Pirah hummed, attempting to think of a solution. She stared at her shopping cart. She grinned, hatching a plan in nearly a second.

* * *

Phish on the other hand had a bigger issue. A young squid flailing an Inkbrush around under the arguably normal situations would be at worst a mess and at best a great assist to one's Turf War team. That being said, ink of a different color than blue being flung about was less than pleasant for Phish. He dodged, switching into a squid periodically, ducking behind the kitchen counters as Xarius continued his miniature rampage.

* * *

A young Inkling with a grocery list in hand stared down at said list, glancing from each shelf and bottle label in sight. She sighed, shaking her head as she trudged along slowly. The sound of rattling wheels caught her attention. Turning around, she noticed a much older woman that stood on the back of a grocery cart, laughing as she apparently strolled along without much complications. The younger Inkling blinked. Quickly taking a pen out of her pockets, she added something along the lines of, "Get glasses", and shoved off, blinking multiple times.

* * *

Back at the Bate household, Phish was attempting to block each and every single one of Xarius' attacks with his trusty frying pan, taking advantage of its handy, pan-like nature to block the ink. All of a sudden, Xarius raised the Inkbrush high above his head like a sword. Xarius could not really understand why he was doing that, and was desperately attempting to slow down. Phish's eyes grew wide as he felt the Inkbrush slice through him, the ink falling on the ground.

" _OH NO! How could I… Why did this happen?!"_ Xarius thought rapidly, dropping the Inkbrush. "I'm sorry!" Xarius squeaked.

Phish blinked, staring right at Xarius. Looking down at his body, he realized the red ink being tossed at him was just dyed. Bits of blue dripped out underneath the red.

"...Well then." Phish blinked, lowering the frying pan, which had the colored substance drip off, "That could have been worse."

The younger squid squatting on the floor sighed in relief. His minuscule, generally impossible grip on the Inkbrush faltered, and he let it go to the floor where it scattered the red and blue mix. Xarius was breathing in heavily, or as heavily as the underdeveloped lungs of a squid could take. It was almost as if something took hold of him, causing him to flail the Inkbrush like a maniac.

Of course, in Phish's perspective it looked like a kid just tried to assassinate him. With a glare, he turned to Xarius, who, with one glance, gulped at Phish's menacing face. Attempting a smile to pacify Phish, who stood there, tapping his foot on the floor of the house, Xarius realized that there might be no salvaging this. Phish took one step forward, the resulting footstep feeling like a shock-wave to poor little Xarius. Had it not been for the door-

"Hey guys!" Pirah announced, slamming the poor door into the side, "I'm back with food!"

And Pirah's fortunate entrance, Xarius might not have lived to adulthood. With a nervous squeak, Xarius hopped off towards Pirah, leaping up into her full arms, hiding in with the grocery bags she carried. Xarius purred contently, knowing that his sister would be the safest option. Then his eyes widened once he realized the glaring contradictions with that thought. Nevertheless, he would live another set of years, the worst of Phish's reactions being a simple "huff" and comment:

"I can safely say that you and your brother are related." Phish sighed as ink dripped off the walls and ceilings.

"Aw, did you two hang out together? That's nice of you Phish!" Pirah smiled.

Phish simply adjusted his tie with a frown, crouching down to pick up the Inkbrush that had somehow compelled Xarius to redecorate Phish's interior. As Xarius was placed down on the counter, he snuck another stare at Phish, somewhat paranoid of the larger Inkling male. When Phish turned back, Xarius assumed it would be another glare directed towards him.

Strangely enough, Phish could only smile and shake his head, as if Xarius had done no wrong. The younger squid was bewildered. If the ink was not blue, he could have easily decapitated the older squid in his attack. Yet there he was, picking the Inkbrush off the ground, doing his best to wipe off any excess ink around him, and placing the brush, of all places, by the counter where Xarius was.

"You know, I knew the guy who used the Inkbrush before you did." Phish frowned, glancing up at the ceiling, "Thought it was cursed or something ever since he bit the dust."

Xarius frowned, tilting his head. Whoever Phish was talking about, he sure was not being too happy about it.

"...Though I suppose if someone as old as you can swing it like it's nothing…" Phish shrugged, "Heck, you could put it to better use than me someday."

Again, Xarius did not quite understand.

"...Assuming you don't beat someone else up with it."

Now the little squid realized that for sure, he certainly was not a child psychopath bred for killing. Yet a person he hardly knew, he nearly splatted, was gifting him with a weapon. At this point, the logic had Xarius' mind spinning. Perhaps Phish was unwell.

"Alright, so, I think I got it this time, we heat up the milk in a pan." Pirah nodded, "Gotcha."

The two others behind Pirah froze, and glanced at each other. Their eyes connected, and both of them knew that for the sake of everything, Pirah must not be allowed to put the milk anywhere that did not resemble a cup. Hopping and sprinting over to her, they left the Inkbrush behind, which laid on the counter. Behind the glint of the brush's bristles, the drawer it was once concealed in still had a stream of light flowing into it. Inside there was a few ink-stained memorabilia, including a picture frame. Phish sat down in the photo, younger, a few figures impossible to make out thanks to the dim lighting of the drawers sat besides him, with weapons and grins, all of them stained with ink of various colors.

* * *

Xarius awoke himself, without any tickling or sisterly coos to serve as his alarm. The feeling of rocking back and forth on a thin veil must have meant he was in his room, rocking back and forth on his hammock. The windows behind him relayed the waves' messages, telling him that he was still onboard the ship. Almost instinctively, he reached to his side, feeling the handle of his weapon.

The brush he was given years ago was still in its sheath. A gift from his brother-in-law, missing with his sister, which was obtained through him through the Great Turf War. He clutched the brush handle, sighing.

" _This family is probably one of the most dysfunctional of all time."_ Xarius smirked to himself as he rocked in his bed. _"At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if I had a few nephews or nieces running around…"_

Xarius closed his eyes again with a sigh. Despite his responsibilities as a captain, he wished to dwell in his slumber once more, yearning for his sister's laugh, her soul mate's ever present sigh, and relished the idea of his ridiculous youth antics and the curiosity behind the Inkbrush and drawers of that house on the hills…

Then Xarius blinked. The two Inkling boys that lived up in a house on the hills. Splin and Sharq. The enthusiasm from Sharq. The practically deadpan expression on the younger one's face, Splin was it?

"...Ah." Xarius blinked, staring up at the wooden ship interior.

"...Ship, I'm slow."

* * *

AN: Don't you hate it when you realize that you actually had nephews and couldn't realize it because you were too busy searching for your older, more immature sister? And you all happen to be squids?

Oh well, it's a very exclusive issue, thanks once more for reviewing, Darkstar248, write n wrong, and, goodness me it's been a while, sebastian G!

Well, what can I say Darkstar248, I aim to please, and if I miss I'll just turn the idea gun on myself. :) write n wrong, they'll certainly be in for a shock, or… Something. I really need to finish that Star Fox crossover story. Finally, sebastian G. Thanks for your Heavy quote, good to see you again ein Freund von mir!

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, goodness GRACIOUS I need to finish that Star Fox crossover. I'm sorry write n wrong, I really need to work on that, I've been procrastinating on two other stories as it is. See you later.


	43. Game Time

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **It's Game Time**

An older squid brother, ignorant to the fact his young pirate uncle had realized that he was indeed the uncle of two squids, carrying sacks containing gold coins dragged himself through Arowana Mall while other humanoid squids played in the background, a few shots of ink splashing on the glass in the distance. So far, it was shaping out to be a normal day for Sharq. And Tai as well.

"Hold on, stop." A feminine voice emerged from one of the bags Sharq hefted behind him.

Sharq paused his walk, glancing over his shoulder. A tooth emerged like that of a beak of a fledgling bird, Tai's Octoling eyes sticking out from the darkness within the bag. Chewing two holes symmetrically aligned, she spat out two patches of the bag, and stared through. Only one of her eyes poked out, and violet tentacles could be seen writhing in the darkness.

"Gah. I made them too close together." Tai frowned.

"Want me to help?" Sharq asked, setting the bags down.

"No way Sharq, we're on a mission, remember?" Tai exclaimed out of the bag, which Sharq nodded at, "We can't stop until we buy enough video games to rub in Aussie's face. Also to educate them so hard that… Uh… Just make sure to get a bunch."

Sharq nodded once more, continuing on with his ever vigilant stride. "Okay!"

The two cephalopods continued their "journey" over towards the nearest electronic game store, Sharq passing by other sea creatures going about their business. Various glances and sidesteps whenever Sharq passed by obviously meant that the crowd had taken notice of Sharq's collection of coins. While Sharq continued forward, a few Inklings took notice of Tai's eyes glowing in the dimness of the bags, gulping. With a well directed hiss towards the crowd, she sent them scattering, much to the Octoling's amusement. Eventually, the pair of them made it into a familiar shop.

A bored, grayish green tentacled Inkling yawned as Sharq entered, dragging the bags behind him. The Inkling at the counter laid his head down boredly.

"Welcome to Game- Whoa." The employee got to his feet, his eyes opening up dramatically.

"Oh, hi! ...Prothe!" Sharq read the nametag on Prothe's shirt.

"...Haven't I seen you before once? You look different, man." Prothe commented.

"Huh? Oh, you know, thanks I guess! I DID wear my hat differently." Sharq replied, reaching up, patting his Takoroka Mesh with a grin.

Prothe blinked, wiping his eyes with the back of his knuckles, blinking again. There was that same, sickly Inkling he sold a Wii U to. Was it? He looked… Better. Certainly was not colored as if he were a poltergeist.

"Err… Where'd your headphones go? Your shirt is the opposite color, too." Prothe pointed out, narrowing his eyes.

"Hmm? Oh! You must have the wrong guy." Sharq spoke up. "I'm actually his-"

"Okay this is taking too long," Tai groaned from within the bag, attracting the two's attention, "Hey pal, mind stocking us with games?"

Prothe stared at the cloth satchel dangling over Sharq's shoulder that just spoke. Frowning, his eyes narrowed, and he leaned in as if expecting the bag to try something sketchy. Which Tai was totally willing to do if it took too long. Glaring out of the bag, her eyes were less than a comforting sight. The tired Inkling across the counter blinked, spotting the glowing green orbs Tai used in a less than discreet fashion considering how close she was to the holes in the bag.

"..." Prothe blinked.

Almost as if she were an actress committing to a role, albeit a very, very particular and modest role, Tai cleared her throat, glaring back at Prothe.

"What's the matter?" She asked, "Never seen a talking bag before?"

"...No." Prothe frowned.

"Oh. Ship." Tai frowned, shuffling about in the bag across a puddle of coins, "Well, today's your lucky day, Frank."

Prothe frowned, glancing at his nametag.

"You're going to help me and this dude-" Tai nudged Sharq with the heel of her boot through the bag, prompting him to wave, "Educate."

"...Educate." Prothe frowned, placing his elbow on the counter, propping up his face.

"Exactly. So give us your video games!" Tai shouted from within the bag, shaking it somewhat.

Prothe rolled his eyes. "If you're planning a robbery, half of the games won't work unless I activate them via register. And all of them are on the shelves behind you."

"Well that's just peachy!" Tai spoke up, "We've got money!"

Prothe shrugged. "Alright, cool. You going to buy something then, bag?"

"Oh- OH! We are going to buy stuff, man. Just you wait!" Tai shouted, rattling the satchel more, with the added side effect of bystander Inklings outside the store looking in curiously through the glass panes.

Prothe smirked, he was certainly getting a hoot out of this "bag". "Alright."

He leaned on the receptionist counter, staring at the bag with an intentionally disgusting, cocky smirk that could start wars. Within the darkness of the bag, Tai grit her teeth as Sharq walked over to the rack of games on the wall, glancing at Tai.

"What was that?" Sharq asked, tilting his head.

"I forgot how much I hate Inklings." Tai frowned, crossing her arms.

The air seemed to grow tense for a moment. Tai cringed once she realized the impact her words might have, but froze for an entirely different reason when Sharq hugged the bag she was in good naturedly. Tai blinked, sighing.

"Darn it, how does that work?" Tai frowned, relaxing in a minute, "Okay Sharq, you win."

"Hooray!" Sharq threw his hands up into the air as the two others stared at him.

* * *

AN: I'm not actually finishing the chapter this is just a joke.

* * *

"...You gonna buy something?" Prothe asked again, "Or is your bag going to go on another tangent?"

"I'll show you a tangent!" Tai snarled, hopping towards the counter.

Sharq quickly pulled the bag back, patting the top of it as if it were an enraged canine.

"You're never safe!" Tai shouted back at Prothe, who smirked again, only irking her more.

Dragging the irritated Octoling away from the hardly paid employee over at the counter, Sharq approached the library of video games stacked in front of him. From handheld cartridge games to polished discs, Sharq could see it all beautifully on display, just waiting to be played. But from Tai's perspective, it was Sharq's legs.

"Do me a solid and lift me up?" Tai asked.

Sharq blinked, turning towards the bag he had place on the ground, giving it a curt nod. Taking the bag, he lifted the side with the holes cut in to face the collection of digital goodies. Tai hummed, scanning each and every one of the cases.

"Oh, I should warn you, not all of these games are too good." Sharq spoke up.

"What do you mean?" Tai asked as she scanned the shelves.

Sharq frowned, glancing to the side. "Splin says that video games nowadays are usually rushed or not as good as they used to be."

"Splin sounds like an old man." Tai frowned, glancing up at him.

"Just saying." Sharq spoke up.

After a few minutes of searching, Tai cleared her throat. "Alright, I've got it."

She stuck a finger out of the bag, though switching to her humanoid Octoling form weighed down on Sharq somewhat, the Inkling's struggles to heft the bag being the major indication, she pointed towards a game. Then another. And another.

"Er…" Sharq scratched the tentacles on his head.

"All of them. We're buying all of them man." Tai smirked.

"What? Really?" Sharq stared over at the collection of games again, then back to the loot accumulated in the bags.

"It's easy, man." Tai spoke up, "Besides, even if we don't have enough now, I can just steal some."

"Uh…" Sharq began sweating, though with a grin, "You're really making me feel like I'm actually robbing something here."

Tai grinned. "Don't worry then, Sharq. Just grab the games, and let ME do the talking."

The Inkling carrying the bag stared over at the video games. Frowning, he reached over and grappled a handful of random game cases, dragging them and Tai's bag over towards the counter, where Prothe was waiting. Sharq placed the games on the counter, which Prothe glanced at with a sigh, scanning each and every one of them with the most nonchalant of expressions. Eventually, a number came up that included zeros on it that could rival that of the amount of times "zero" was used as a swordsman's name.

"No offense sir, but I doubt your 'bag' will have enough to pay for it." Prothe spoke up, leaning on the counter.

Tai once again perked up at his challenge, scowling from within the bag. Nevertheless, the important thing to her was messing with Aussie to cure her boredom. Grabbing a handful of coins, she reached out of the sack, dropping money handful by handful until the counter looked similar to a mountain of gold. Prothe blinked, staring in awe of the mound of money that was stacked directly in front of him.

"There. Put that on your uniform and wear it, 'Frank'." Tai sneered through the eyeholes of the bag.

Prothe rolled his eyes, simply scanning each game individually. He smirked again, shrugging after the last one, then stacked all of the games on top of one another.

"I'd ask you if you'd want a bag, but…" Prothe grinned.

Tai's face shifted to a blank expression from inside, as she knew what was going to happen next. Prothe took the bag, and while her identity could have well been blown, Prothe was too busy shoving in the games, slamming them into her face.

"Ow! Jackwad!" Tai yelped.

"Have a nice day." Prothe waved to Sharq, who just nodded, leaving quickly.

As soon as the two made it outside the store, Sharq made sure to clamp the opening of the bag down. His instincts served him well, as Tai began punching and kicking rapidly, making it look like a wild animal was trapped inside. Which was not technically wrong.

"Let's get to Octo Valley, huh?" Sharq suggested with a smile, dragging Tai away while she raged on, the clattering of boxes being one of the telltale signs she was less than happy with how things were turning out.

"...Oops! I forgot, we need to get a game console!" Sharq piped up, skidding to a halt.

Tai's eyes glinted. She took one of the games and patted her open palm using the game like a paddle, smiling evilly. "That's fine."

* * *

"...What is this?"

A gathering of octopuses, ranging from the ever vigilant Octosnipers to the Inkling counterpart that was the Octoling, sat patiently, mostly patiently at least if one would overlook the workaholic that was Aussie tapping her foot, in the briefing room of the Octarian base. Underneath the shard of ceiling remaining prevalent, somewhat like a statue were a collection of shredded sacks with games poking out of the debris. Across from where Tai was gloating in the glory of the random collection of games, Chi and Aussie, geared in their Octoling uniforms with spots of ink, possibly from an early skirmish, inspected the games cautiously.

Again, there were exceptions, as Chi and the other Octarians were awestruck, feeling the corners of the boxes as if they were golden.

"Tai! These are so shiny!" Chi spoke in a gleeful, almost hypnotized tone, "Are these peace gifts? They're certainly decorative."

"Cod, I remember what these are." Aussie frowned, lifting up her Octoling Goggles, her eyes narrowing, eyeing the games distastefully.

Across from them, Tai rolled her eyes. "Look, Sharq helped me out, he took time out of his busy schedule-"

Off somewhere else, Sharq was gleefully rolling through slopes on a battlefield. A skatepark full of squids served as the Turf War stage, and using his Krak-On Roller, he happily charged through as the world practically destroyed itself, drenching the field in blue and orange, Sharq occasionally squishing other squids in magnificent explosions of blue.

"-to get us these." Tai finished.

Aussie simply crossed her arms, staring in the other direction, finding a newly found interesting in the walls of the base. Tai scowled, slamming her palm down on the table, spooking the other Octarians, who promptly took a step away.

"Oh, geez." Chi muttered.

"What's your deal?! C'mon, I try to do something **nice** for once," Tai began, despite her early intentions being less than altruistic, she was starting to get unnerved by Aussie's aversion, "Do you know what I had to do to get these?!"

"I thought Agent- Sharq," Aussie corrected herself stiffly, holding her head high still, "Was the one who got these."

"I helped!" Tai shouted at her.

The commander sighed, the seaweed stalks on her head seemingly wilting at her subordinate. She glanced at the video games, then began to reflect on her duties and her role in the Octarian army. She at the very least was supposed to help expand their territories, assist the other Octarians, keep the peace-

She grabbed one of the games quickly, hugging it as close to her chest as possible, shocking the others. It made a clang noise as it collided with her chest armor.

"..." Aussie frowned, keeping her goggles on for fear of blushing.

"Well now." Tai smirked.

"Aussie?" Chi asked, staring at her superior worriedly.

"I saw a few on my scouting missions, alright?! I just wanted to…" Aussie trailed off, "You know what, no, I can't. I have responsibilities- Then again…." She blinked, still hugging the video game, "Perhaps I can glean information from Inkling life or work- NO! No no no!"

The Octarians lacking humanoid features slowly slid out of the room, letting their commander cool off. Both Tai and Chi glanced at each other.

"Hey… Uh, I think we might have another rebel problem, and I really need to convince Octavio that I'm not a traitor anymore or… Um…" Chi fumbled with her words, searching for an excuse.

"Go on Chi, I'll look after our crazy commander." Tai smirked, waving her off.

"Thanks." Chi spoke up, quickly running up to her, giving her a quick hug.

"Aw. Get out of here." Tai sighed, failing to keep in a smile.

Chi withdrew her arms, shrugging as she walked backwards. "Hey, I'm just paying you back for earlier!"

Tai sighed, nodding, as her sister-in-arms walked off, turning back to the real problem in have. Aussie's conundrum had intensified, at this point it seemed like she had developed two split personalities devoted to the case of whether or not she should take a couple minutes off just to play a video game. So far, neither side made any progress.

The Octoling commander frowned. "Okay, it's a short time period, I start playing, then I'm done- Nope! You've got work to do! Octavio's probably going to assign you to something-"

Aussie paused when she noticed a heavyset-looking object hurdling towards her. She quickly held out her hands, catching the video game console that flew through the air, barely keeping it from hitting the ground. She grunted, glaring at the Octoling who had tossed it to her, receiving a smirk in return.

Before Aussie could say anything, Tai chimed in. "You could drop that video game console and break it and get back to work. Or you could help me set it up, we play for a couple minutes, then get on with our lives. Your choice."

Aussie scowled at Tai. Despite the weight of the console and all of the cords wrapped around her arm, she could lift it easily. Tai herself inspected a pair of controllers, glancing up at Aussie, arching an eyebrow. The Octoling sighed, adjusting her goggles.

"...Five minutes." Aussie spoke up, "Nothing more. Alright?"

Tai blinked, setting the controllers down on the table. Aussie continued staring at the floor, rubbing her arm. Tai cracked a grin.

Aussie seemed to notice, frowning. "Alright, let's go."

Carrying the game and the console, Aussie strode off, with Tai following with a Gamepad and remote controller closely behind. This could be fun. Both of them thought that as they made their way, looking for a spot to set up.

* * *

One embarrassingly short failed mission in a Star Fox-esque game later, the two watched as other octopuses continued to entertain themselves with the console in the recreational space left in the Octarian HQ. Octarians gathered around a television screen and watched as Chi and another Octoling paid close attention to the screen, mashing the buttons excitably.

Aussie and Tai on the other hand were sitting by a table, Tai looking less than pleased, draping her arm over the back of her chair, leaving her feet dangling in the air as Aussie attempted not to attract the gaze of any other octopuses, the excitable leaps and bounds of a certain live power source accompanying the hype surrounding those playing in the background.

"I said, 'Do a barrel roll', not… Whatever it was that you were doing." Tai frowned.

"You meant an 'aileron roll'!" Aussie frowned back at her.

"You have no sense of tradition." Tai closed her eyes.

"How would you know?!" Aussie argued.

"Ahem."

The low, booming voice behind them signaled the arrival of a boss. The two Octolings turned around, and were greeted by an octopus sitting behind a turntable.

DJ Octavio glanced over at his forces currently engaged in digital combat, then stared at Tai and Aussie for a long time. Suddenly, the faint sounds of chuckling could be heard escaping from Octavio. Both of the Octolings gave him an odd look before he began laughing with more magnitude.

"Ah, thanks you two! Really saved me a lot of trouble." Octavio laughed, wiping his eyes.

"...Eh?" Aussie blinked.

"A couple of the others kept complaining about having nothing to do." Octavio frowned, "Which is stupid, since the people who come down here keep bringing them company or at least a challenge. This really keeps me free."

Aussie's mouth gaped open, and for a moment, she took the time to scrub her goggles to make sure that they were not malfunctioning. Then she promptly realized that goggles do not affect hearing and pouted. Tai grinned at Aussie, wiggling her eyebrows with a smirk.

"Good work, ladies." Octavio nodded.

"Oh, you see? Video games solve problems." Tai stuck her tongue out at Aussie playfully.

"I highly doubt that'll work more than once." Aussie sighed, planting her head on the table.

The rest of the day, the Octarians rejoiced, as they had found something that could waste their time efficiently and entertainingly. Had it been December, this may have passed as a Splatmas miracle, but since it was not-

"However, I do need you two to work overtime with an old base of ours-" Octavio began.

Tai imitated Aussie, slamming into the table, shaking it somewhat. Octavio scowled, planting one of his tentacles on his face.

"Yep, that seems right." He remarked with a shake of his head.

* * *

AN: Small short chapter, I know, I'm trying to think of something, and with the introduction of two other new stories of mine that I have to update in tandem with this one, I think I might have jumped the Sharq in ideas. I mean sharq. SHARK.

Alright, let's see here, thanks write n wrong, Darkstar248, and sebastian G for reviewing! Glad you still enjoy this story, and enjoyed that little Star Squids Nothing story as well! Good to see that you think my story is of a nice low temperature, Darkstar. Thanks again, sebastian, and nice rhyme by the way.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle. Off to brainstorm, see you.


	44. Miscommunication

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Miscommunication**

A pile of books turned upside down, their pages exposed to the air laid by Splin, who was currently slamming a wrench on a broken satellite of sorts, each and every one of the covers relating to that of "repair". Similar to a Squid Beakon in appearance, except wrecked beyond recognition at this point, the younger Inkling tried time and time again, delivering a beatdown using his tool, the metal colliding against each other. After a while, Splin promptly tossed the wrench on the ground, sighing.

A trapdoor leading from the roof to the house lifted up, and up popped Maria, who was rubbing her eyes tiredly. "Splin, what are you doing?"

Startled, Splin spun around, sighing in response to spying the older squid. "Sorry, sorry, I'm just trying to fix this."

Maria glanced at the destroyed beacon that laid in shambles on the roof. She frowned, glancing at the sizable dents in the machine and the wrench that laid at Splin's feet.

"I don't think you're going to get anywhere by hitting it." Maria smirked, placing a hand on her hips.

The younger squid sighed, kicking away the wrench. "Yeah. Maybe I should try to find a construction booklet or something."

Maria smiled and shrugged at the little brother's efforts. "Well, if you need any help, you know where to find me."

With that being said, Maria retreated into the house, the trapdoor slamming shut behind her as Splin turned towards the wrecked Beakon. He realized that life was not a video game, except that it was and he did, which made that moral pretty worthless in hindsight. Humming, he played with the tentacles on his head, then began working on the shabby project once more, taking up the wrench, fixing dents and checking the screws.

"...Have you attempted resetting this device?"

Splin bit his lip. "I think it's far beyond resetting, Maria."

"I beg your pardon. My name is Ityl."

The Inkling ruffled his headphones for a moment, only pausing when he realized he did not recognize the voice. Turning around, he stepped back in fright, accidentally pushing the Beakon, almost shoving it over the railing onto the grass. The unexpected visitor, a tall female Inkling with cyan tentacles in an equally as long robe took a step forward, and, stopped the machine from falling.

"..." Splin stared at the new visitor.

The Inkling's tentacles were outstretched, far beyond the normal height that reached down to the waist, no, her tentacles looped around the beacon multiple times, constricting it, keeping all of the pieces together. Hoisting it up in the air, she set it down gently back on the roof, staring at it with her emerald eyes.

"Thank goodness." She spoke in a soft voice, making sure it would not tip over, "Certainly would be a hassle fixing it more than already needed."

All of a sudden, she giggled in an equally soft voice as if she were trying to avoid getting scolded in a library, laughing at her own miniature quip. Splin blinked, then glanced down at her tentacles. They draped over the roof together, two cyan lines dropping over the side of the house, which would certainly be a decoration to boast had it not been connected to a living, breathing, host.

She paused, staring at Splin in a manner that made it seem as if she were sad. "I'm sorry, was that in poor taste?"

"...No?" Splin blinked, staring at her with an equally odd look, "Um, sorry, who are you?"

"Ah, apologies. My voice might not have adjusted to the atmospheric conditions of the planet yet. Either that or I need more practice. " She spoke, Splin taking note of her quiet, serene nature, "My name is Ityl, pleased to make your acquaintance, Splin."

"Oh." Splin blinked, nodding quickly, sticking his hand out to shake, "Nice to meet you. How did you know-"

At the sight of Splin's open palm, Ityl hesitated, her robe blowing in the wind slightly.

"Oh dear oh dear oh dear." She squeaked, "I didn't realize- I should've brought a gift? Oh dear me, the Inkling traditions have changed since I've been gone."

Hastily, Ityl reached at the middle of her robe, where its design was split, presumably for wearing and removing. Thankfully, she wore a regular white shirt underneath, though the main thing on Splin's mind was confusion. And lot's of it.

"Uh." Splin blinked.

"...Did I do something wrong?" Ityl asked, not in a fearful way, almost probing, wanting to know exactly what she did wrong, how she should have done it, and why.

"...I just wanted a handshake." Splin deadpanned at her bizarre attitude.

Blinking, she blushed, retrieving her plain robe, colors to match her tentacles, buttoning up once more, nodding.

"Right, erm, so the mannerisms- It hasn't changed much, then. Apologies, I don't get much contact up in space." Ityl spoke up.

"...Space?" Splin's eyes narrowed.

"Space." Ityl nodded in affirmation.

The wind blew past, dragging Ityl's long tentacles up into the air, blowing past her face, shrouding it in a mystery approximately four inches (10.16 centimeters if you prefer) across.

"I… Should feel inclined to disbelieve you." Splin muttered.

The other Inkling stared at the floor, almost ignoring the gaping hole, frowning. "I wouldn't blame you-"

"But," Splin began, "Considering we are both squid humanoids, discussed how to fix a highly complicated beacon device, and all of the other things I've seen in life, I can safely say that this is one of the more believable things I've heard."

"Ah." Ityl blinked, "Is that so? That makes everything significantly less complicated.

"Er, I guess." Splin rubbed the back of his head.

The taller Inkling hummed quietly, then turned towards the sea across the hills. She took in its width, the clouds rolling above it slowly, Ityl finding a solemn solace in the azure expanse of the large body of water and the sky that bordered it. Splin just stood to the side, unsure of how to progress.

"...Would you happen to know any other Inkling with tentacles such as these?" Ityl asked.

Splin glanced at the cyan vines that practically stuck like glue to the house. He could recall Sharq telling him of his adventure with Maria and the lot of pirates that had crashed onto the hills once upon a time and a mention of a man with tentacles that could ensnare the party. Other than that, he had just figured it was a coincidence.

"No." Splin muttered unconsciously.

"Pity. I suppose I'll have to wait until later to divorce him, then." Ityl frowned.

That single statement practically knocked the wind out of the little brother. His eyes were wide, this woman certainly seemed to have an interesting life, and he had hardly asked her a thing. That was what he was inclined to believe...

He needed to clear things up. Clearing his throat, he began, "So, er… Would you happen to have a… Space...ship?"

That sounded increasingly weak as he drawn his words on, feeling rather foolish as he spoke. Ityl smiled at him, turning around, Splin having to hop over her tentacles as they swept the roof.

"Oh! ...Where is it?" He asked, looking around.

"I crash-landed in a set of trees." She admitted plainly.

A sudden explosion rang out in the distance with a flash of light and a plume of smoke. Splin glanced over at another part of the hills. A set of trees were alight, with the silhouette of a metallic rocket falling onto the soft hills with a thud. The irritated, rapid squawking of finches indicated that a nest may have been disturbed, and the flock that flew overhead, chirping with a fury, only hammered in the reality of the situation.

"Look at that." She remarked, "It fell."

Briefly reflecting on how everything in his life that had any sort of abiotic set of traits attributed to it managed to explode as if it were a movie, Splin swallowed a harsh bullet, feeling less than peachy as he saw the smoke.

The squid with bluer shade of blue turned towards Ityl, who was standing quietly. "...So, you crash-landed here because you… Wanted a divorce?"

"Well, yes." Ityl stated simply, "But that was only one of my chores to-do."

" _I can't help but feel bad for whoever she eloped with. Though if he managed to make HER angry…"_ Splin thought, clearing his throat, "One of the chores?"

"Yes. I had received a signal; a signal that of distress coming from this location. I believe I see the distress." She remarked, glancing at the ruined landing indicator. "My vessel automatically gravitated towards it."

Splin looked towards the corner of the roof where the Squid Beakon laid in shambles. "Sorry."

"Don't be. Your beacon served as a perfect way for me to decide how to land. Though I fear it may have been at a bad time." Ityl replied.

He sniffed. The smoke continued to blow past in the background, and he could smell the harsh, burning scent wafting across the air.

Perfect landing.

"...You mean it could've been worse?!" Splin whispered frantically.

Ityl fidgeted behind Splin, constantly making curious glares over at the city of squids in the distance, Inkopolis, looking as grand as ever. The younger Inkling noticed, mostly because he had to leap every single time she twisted her head.

"That city…" Ityl glanced at it strangely, "I do not remember it being so… Expansive."

Splin blinked. Before he could debate whether or not asking her what she meant, he did it anyways, "What do you mean?"

Ityl blinked. "Ah, excuse me. I was left in cryostasis for a few years thanks to a secret project founded by an organization long gone dedicated to preserving the long-arm squid species, ever since I was young I had dreamt of-"

Now, compared to his older brother, Splin felt that he was a better listener most of the time. But he could feel himself drifting off into sleep somehow, the color of the sky switching from a light blue to that more similar towards the deep blue ocean, the sun almost directly above them.

"-they arranged a marriage for me before I had left for space." She frowned, "I hardly even liked Alabaso, too arrogant and possessive."

The chirping of a bird brought Splin back to his senses. Staring upwards, he noticed a collection of straw suspended on top of his headphones. A nest, with a sparrow sitting right in the middle, had been constructed in the time Ityl had been painstakingly recalling her early life. Carefully, Splin set the nest down by his feet, struck with the feeling of déjà vu.

"...Alright." Splin frowned.

"But I digress, all you need to know is that I've returned to this planet, and-" Ityl looked from side to side, gently clenching her abdomen, "I… May or may not feel peckish."

Splin perked up, nodding. He began making his way down towards the house. Lifting up the trapdoor, he stared down into the wooden shack. A slumbering Maria snoozed peacefully, wrapped in the coziness of her bed. To the left of Splin's vision, he could notice Ann-Gel sitting on top of the Tele-Cube, gazing out the window as the cube slept, blips and beeps blinking every now and then.

While Splin honestly had no clue what type of misadventures Sharq had dragged Maria into, he was purely convinced that it was hardly a wonderful vacation. If Ityl happened to be related to this so called "long tentacled hermit… guy" that Sharq mentioned, then the younger squid could only foresee a rapid jab as the welcome for the bizarre visitor. The fact that said visitor was also presumably hungry after Cod knows how long in space- If what she was saying was true, only made things worse. The little brother began to formulate ideas, attempting to figure out if he could make it down there and whip something up without the others gawking at Ityl- Or taking drastic measures.

"Mmm." Splin heard crunching coming from behind him.

Spinning around, Splin could only stare as the remnants of a sandwich was finished, Ityl wiping her mouth with a collection of napkins. Her tentacles, having weaved past Splin while he was pondering, were now inside of the house. Suspended right next to Maria. Oh dear.

"You have…" Ityl swallowed, a satisfied look on her face. "Quite the food here. It's admittedly better than the packages of frozen food I had in space. Now then, I hope you don't mind-"

Ityl proceeded to leave the premises. She hopped off the side of the roof onto the hills, dragging her tentacles after her. Splin stopped and stared, hesitantly shooting a glance towards the door. Everyone else was still highly inactive. For the life of him, Splin had decided that it would be best if he stayed and watched over her- In case of something catastrophic happening, and probably to keep this "foreigner" from stumbling about. Or take more sandwiches without anyone looking. Starting for the door, he made haste, dashing down the stairs and across the floor.

"Whoa, Splin, what's up?" Ann-Gel piped up, glancing over at Splin.

Splin made a frantic "shush", pausing by the kitchen table, glancing over at Maria. Ann-Gel turned, noticed her, and nodded.

"Did you fix the thing?" The amiibo whispered curiously.

"Uh, no." Splin spoke up, making constant glances towards the hills outside. "I'm… Getting more parts for it."

"Ah, alright!" Ann-Gel smiled, "See you later then!"

With that said, Splin nodded, and resumed his pace, nearly tackling the door in an attempt to open it. Using the door handle like he was supposed to, he made it outside, the warmth of the summer sun rays beaming down, light reflecting off with a blue sheen off of his tentacles. Circling around the house, he found, and heard, the tentacles slithering around to catch up with her as well. Splin followed them, eventually finding Ityl at the end.

"Er, wait, where are you going?" Splin asked.

"Hmm? Ah." She turned around.

Switching into a squid, he simply slid over her own tentacles, switching back this time. He mentally made a note of the movement and his tactic for avoiding it.

"I apologize, but I need to repair my ship. To do that, I need to purchase new parts."

" _What a coincidence."_ Splin reflected.

"Perhaps I may have reentered the atmosphere too early." Ityl commented, glancing up at the sky, pursing her lips as though the color may have been purple.

"...O...kay." Splin blinked, "Uh, good luck?"

"Now then…" Ityl hummed, "Where could I find a nuclear reactor core?"

"Permission to tag along."

* * *

Had Inkopolis been in need of a clean-up, they would immediately know who to call, and it had nothing to do with vacuum wielding men. Ityl's stride proved surprisingly handy, leaving a tidy trail behind her as her tentacles practically swept the streets clean. Every so often, Splin would carry her tentacles in a knot as they crossed streets for fear of a car passing by, severing the squid limbs. As the two of them walked, Splin dutifully carrying around the odd woman's "hair", she would stop and stare at certain stores and objects they would pass by. Inspecting them in every aspect of the word as if she were taking inventory of them all, she hummed, sometimes picking up random coins strewn about the sidewalk.

Eventually, Splin's curiosity had risen once more. Fearing yet another conversation that would practically lead to nowhere fast, he cleared his throat, attracting Ityl's attention.

"Sorry, I don't wish to bother you too much, but why are you so intent on returning to space? Isn't it uninteresting up there?" The bluer Inkling asked, finding himself fiddling with her tentacles. He stopped, pressing the tentacles together into a neat pile.

"...It has a tendency to be uneventful, yes." She admitted, hardly minding Splin's fumbling.

"Then why do you want to leave this planet so badly? It may not be my place to ask-"

A tangent ensued. "Splin, weren't you listening? My kind had been endangered for a long period of time, our place in society was simply less and less of an impact as it was years before, I remember when-"

Ityl paused, turning to face Splin behind her. Already she could notice a hummingbird sitting on Splin's head, staring back at her, as did the young Bate brother, his irises already shrinking considerably.

"...Apologies. I will keep this simple: I was put in that ship to stay alive." Ityl spoke up.

"Stay alive? What was so catastrophic that it needed you being flung into space for? The Great Turf War? That… Flood…?" Splin asked uncertainly, the hummingbird taking leave with a rapid flap of its wings.

Ityl shook her head. "No. From that."

Her tentacles unraveled quickly, prompting Splin to let go in an instant. They wrapped into a shape, an arrow of sorts, and pointed skywards. Splin blinked, sheltering his eyes as he looked towards the sky, the sunlight proving somewhat of a deterrent.

"..." Splin frowned, narrowing his eyes.

That was when he noticed it. Despite being a spec in comparison to the sun, he could see another bright light suspended in the sky. The tentacles stretched out on the floor next to him, the cyan outline blocking the light of the sun.

"Perhaps now you can understand." Ityl spoke up.

 _"...Understand WHAT? Why do you have to make things so cryptic?! Or so complicated?!"_ Splin glared towards the sky.

The spec appeared to grow ever slightly. There was not a cloud in the sky, and the only other object hovering above was the sun.

"Ityl, I'm sorry, but I can't understand." Splin sighed.

"...I…apologize. I don't seem to be concise enough. I can remember quite a bit, but…" Ityl bit her lip. "That. Is a meteorite."

"Oh." Splin blinked.

Her appendages unraveled once more. "Indeed. That happens to be what my people discovered so many years ago."

"...It's dangerous, then?" Splin asked.

"They made a prediction," Ityl spoke up, a few passerby taking note of her extraordinary tentacles as she spoke, "That one day this planet would vanish. Paranoia clouded their minds-"

"So they sent you into space to…" Splin frowned.

"Essentially preserve the species, yes." Ityl nodded.

At this point, Splin was finally beginning to doubt Ityl's story through and through. It seemed rather convoluted and somewhat odd for a ship to be triggered by a beacon only for it to crash. Sure, he could realize that space shuttles exist. Still, the glowing dot in the sky could just be another trick of lighting or something that he had imagined. ...Was it? Was he really doubting her, or was he just losing sanity over this whole situation?

"..." Splin glanced at the ground, with nothing else to say.

He stared at the sidewalk for a while. Eventually, the murmurs and shouts of others got his attention. Looking up, he noticed a couple other Inklings and sea life staring and pointing towards the sky. Splin glanced skywards once more. The glint he noticed had grew. It was getting closer. And closer. Each minute it appeared to home in, the mass increasing and the light becoming ever brighter. Panic arose.

"Another mech?!"

"I thought we were finished with those 'attacks'!"

"I knew I should've moved out when I had the chance!"

The crowd grew in volume, discussing with a fervor. Splin could hear the dragging sound, finding Ityl walking off. She could be right. Or she could be insane. But if there was one thing that he knew, it was that insane was practically on par nowadays. That and the space shuttle. Quickly, he ran to catch up with her, following her tentacles as they trailed through Inkopolis. Eventually, he found himself in a familiar location: Inkopolis Plaza.

"Where…?"

Splin walked through the plaza. Where were the tentacles leading him? The resounding clanging noise quickly answered his question. A manhole cover rattled over by a vending machine. Falling through were the sky colored tendrils that belonged to none other than the odd woman Splin had met from earlier. He gulped. This could only end so well. How she managed to find the Octarians was confusing enough. There was something else awry on earth.

The answers would be a pain to discover, though.

* * *

Splin burst through the manhole cover quickly enough. Landing on the other side, ignoring the snoring captain suspended on a raggedy blue couch, he saw Ityl walking off in the distance. He gave chase, which proved to end quickly enough when she noticed him. Hopping over the tentacles, he stopped in front of her, panting.

"Splin?" Ityl spoke up.

"F-First of all, how do you know my name? What's happening? Who's Alabaso?! Why would being sent into SPACE alone be beneficial to a whole race of squids?! I- I can't understand ANY of this! And I've seen a lot!" Splin cried out.

"Splin-"

"Did you overhear my name earlier? Are you playing with me?!" Splin demanded, stepping forward.

"Splin, listen-"

"Now you're suggesting that a meteorite is on a collision course for earth?! No! It's- I can't- There's no way you could be telling the truth!" Splin shouted.

For a moment, all was silent. Ityl stood still, her tentacles still draped over on the ground, Splin breathing heavily. She said nothing, and just stared at the ground.

"...Even if you were telling the truth, there is no way you can visit the OCTARIANS. They won't trust you- Not for spare parts, not for help, nothing." Splin sighed.

The older Inkling could only stare at the younger one. He whimpered, wiping his eyes.

"...Unless I come with you." Splin spoke up, shocking Ityl. It was as if Splin had lost it. "...So I can finally figure this out. If there is a meteorite. If I'm not just going insane again."

The answer was silence. Splin said no more, and Ityl was too surprised to respond. He was losing it, she was perfectly calm. Despite everything Splin had seen, he could feel himself slowly deteriorate.

"...Thank you."

Now she was thanking him. Anytime, he could fall over unconscious at this point.

"...I realize that my story is farfetched. I realize that you may not trust me as much anymore with all of this excitement. But thank you anyways for sticking by me, despite the oddities of it all." She spoke softly.

"..." Nothing from Splin, back to Ityl.

"But you must trust me. There is something heading for us. It is hardly a laughing matter, and it requires some advanced technology. That much I know. That meteorite cannot be repelled without their help. I understand that there is much left to discuss." She responded.

The wind whistled in their pointy Inkling ears.

"But I fear that if we do not act quickly…" She turned towards the sky.

Both Inklings could see. The meteorite had started moving closer and closer towards the planet. The gravity of the situation started setting in quickly. As was the incoming object.

"Okay then. Let's go." Splin turned towards the set of kettle entrances.

Ityl nodded. "After you."

The two of them made for the kettles. A smack sounding off behind Ityl combined with the feeling of something colliding with her tentacles had her cringe.

"Oh dear!" She squeaked.

"...Be careful please." Splin muttered, rubbing his cheek.

* * *

"Is this right?"

"Indeed, Mr…?"

"The name's Octavio, lass!" DJ Octavio boomed proudly.

Compared to most of the other meetings Octavio attended, Splin could swear that this was one of the ones of lesser importance to the Octarians. Though considering their busy conditions as of late, he could also make a case that it was of short notice. The only others sitting around the table besides him, Ityl, and Octavio were Chi and Jerry the Octocopter. Though only three-fifths of the company were technically sitting.

"There's a meteorite?!" Jerry exclaimed.

"Indeed. It's taking on speed; it's just a matter of time before it smashes into the earth." Ityl crossed her arms.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?! Where's Ova and Lee?" Octavio shouted.

All of a sudden, cheering burst out. Turning to a door leading into a hall, those seated noticed Chi peeking over through the hall, watching a group of Octarians kept watch. Over a television screen.

"Uh-" Chi began to point out.

"Oh. Er." Octavio wiped the back of his head.

Ityl continued, brushing her tentacles back, which certainly turned heads on its own. Luckily this time, Splin sat adjacent to her, and had the smart solution of having her tentacles laid flat across the floor.

"Well then, Miss Ityl, I can't say I would see what you need from us." DJ Octavio cleared his throat.

"I am… unaware of the current state of affairs between the Octarians and the Inklings above. However, we are in need of some assistance as of late. I've heard that the Octarian race took pride in their technology, is that correct?"

Octavio blinked. The hovering turntable that he stood behind flashed, the speakers behind him blared to life, and the mechanical fists extended out and flexed.

"Alright." Ityl hardly gave it a second glance. "Then I presume you do have defensive weaponry?"

Octavio frowned, sighing. "...Yes. It's a bit… Temperamental, so to speak. It ain't too helpful to be frank."

"May we borrow it?" Ityl asked politely.

"...One moment." Octavio spoke up.

A violet tentacle extended to the turntable and pressed a single button. A screen lifted out of the turntable's set of switches.

"Sure. Why not." Splin sighed, shaking his head.

"How's the Skell looking, ladies?" Octavio asked.

Gunfire. Then the audio cut off completely. The screen retracted into the table, leaving a tangible silence in the air. Chi and Jerry snuck glances at each other. The shadows cast around Octavio's eyes underneath his crown seemed to spread across his face.

"Welp, I think it's safe to say that it's battle ready." Octavio spoke up.

"Really." Chi began sweating.

"Great!" If there was anything less sensible than Octavio in denial, it was Ityl agreeing with him. "We have no time to lose, Splin!"

"Wait, you don't even know- Gah." Splin groaned, running after her.

The Octarians watched the Inklings leave for the destruction inflicting mech. Chi and Jerry continued their stagnant stay at the table, watching as they left.

"Well then, I think I might have to go check this so-called 'meteorite' just in case she decided to fib." Octavio told them all, adjusting his nonexistent belt.

"Wait, Octavio! What about- You're just going to let them visit the Skell alone?" Jerry asked.

As Octavio started to hover away, he turned back for a brief moment, smirking. "If you're so worried, why don't you look over the Inklings, huh?"

With a chuckle, Octavio left the Octarian foot troops alone as he ascended into the light of day. Chi and Jerry glanced at each other, then towards the hall they had taken.

"Uh. Any chance you'd be willing to go get Tai or Auss…?" Jerry grinned sheepishly.

"What?! Come on, you know I'm not going down there! What do you think, I'm nuts?!" Chi asked in an appalled manner.

"Then… that means…" The Octocopter's face darkened.

Chi gulped, glancing over towards the hall. "We're going in."

* * *

As harmless as it looked, the foreboding nature of the metallic walls were anything but friendly anymore. They appeared menacing, the last barrier of civilization before they would drop into the pit of trials, so to speak. As they took a step, they could already feel the burn of the ink running down their backs, the Skell towering over them…

Elsewhere, on an island in the middle of the tree, a host of palm trees serving as a jungle shaded the remnants of a temple. One Inkling, armed with an Inkbrush holstered at his side, his red-stained tentacles glinting underneath his black tricorn. A map held clenched in his hand, he hardly noticed the glint overhead as he made his way through the temple.

Xarius entered the darkness, fully realizing he could end up attacked. The torches lining the walls, providing light, began fading away as he descended deeper and deeper.

"Why have you returned, Xarius? Wish to impart more pain and misery to this man after all he's been through? After you've seen him fall from his perch?" An accusing voice echoed throughout the bricks.

Xarius held the map with a tight grip. "Alabaso."

"My kind has vanished from the earth. The rest of your regular Inkling's pointless conflicts were to blame. Even then, you decided to press the last of them- Who had almost nothing to lose." Alabaso spoke.

"I get it. You used to be up there in power. You just happened to take this-" Xarius raised the map, and waved it around a bit. "From me. Yar, I didn't particularly enjoy that. But I came back because I discovered something a wee bit… alarming."

"Hmm…" The other Inkling's long, dark tentacles wriggled uncomfortably.

"Now, I realize that we had a grudge on each other for a while. I had a map, you extorted it from me, and now I got it back. But I think this… 'doomsday' written here involves both you and I. And a bunch 'a others, now that I think about it." Xarius remarked.

"..." Silence.

"But more to the point. This 'prophecy' business that you're going on about with Inklings meeting their match has yet to come true. Still, even that ain't what I'm here for. You…" Xarius took a step forward. "Have family too, don't you?"

Alabaso flinched.

"Well, if you agree to help me out, I think we can pay her a little visit." Xarius spoke up. "That sound nice… Partner?"

"...Insufferable as always." Alabaso groaned, shaking his head.

"Didn't hear you say no, now." Xarius grinned.

"Why, after all of those horrid transgressions, would I trust you? You don't even know where she is!" His longer tentacles shook with a ferocity.

"Because I'm your only way off th' island." Xarius kept his Inkbrush holstered.

The torches in the background crackled behind them.

"...If you can help me find my wife, I'll assist you in finding HER as well." Alabaso groaned.

"There's my guy." Xarius grinned.

"Shut up." Alabaso spoke up, then began trudging towards the light.

Footsteps echoed as two pairs of feet started off. Eventually, the two came shoulder to shoulder, walking towards the entrance. The sound of the dragging of tentacles followed them, shuffling over the bricks.

"...Hey, have you been wearing perfume or something? You smell alright for once." Xarius smirked.

"I'm pushing you into the sea the first chance I get, you brat." Alabaso frowned.

* * *

AN: Exposition, backstories etc. I wanted to make this chapter a bit of a parody of more accomplished stories, then I realized that I might get some flack for that. Then I tried something a bit more original. But then I realized it could get cliché. After a while, I just decided to go with this. I might even write a story explaining the sudden, "Alabaso-Xarius partnership" thing, which I actually have a good idea of.

But who knows how that trainwreck will go? I have to finish this arc first.

Thanks Ultrapyre and write n wrong for reviewing! Ultrapyre, Aussie is a woman of secrets, that's for sure. I had quite a bit of trouble deciding how to continue this story for a while, but this really gets me started on a few potential good ones in my opinion. Write n wrong, that's a great summary! Waste your time playing video games and stuff! Endorsed by Octarians!

Thanks for reading through this, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to really get started on a writing spree, see you!


	45. Meteorite Mishap

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Meteorite Mishap**

The Skell was playing chess. Great, as if Splin's day was not strange enough as it was.

True to the previous line of text, the Skell, the robotic future knight of the Octarians, was using one of its tentacle arms to lift a chess piece. A few other Octolings garbed in lab coats sat around the table, two of them on the sides of the checkered deck scribbling on papers held down by clipboards.

"Try moving your pawn." The girl on the left suggested.

Frowning, the scientist seemingly serving as the opponent for the mech lifted a small white figurine with little significance to its model or name. As soon as she did so, the pieces on the board flew into the air, scattering across the floor shortly enough. The chessboard, now lying in halves on the ground, provided as sufficient evidence that the Skell wanted nothing to do with this silly game. The trio of scientists either finished the conclusions in printed ink while the head of the operations just buried her face in her hands. The Skell had its tentacles crossed in a pout motion.

The two Inklings standing by the exit of the lab stopped and stared. As if pondering, one of Ityl's tentacles wrapped around her chin, rubbing it slowly. Splin turned around, staring at her bizarrely.

"Hm?" Ityl arched an eyebrow, her tentacle unraveling into the one strand.

"Nothing." Splin spoke up, turning his attention back to the Skell.

Sentience hardly came easy, Splin recalled that the races of the face of his planet took generations to get where they are now. Yet, here was a programmed machine acting with the grace of a child who had lost a sport with all of the telltale signs. Scratching the tentacles on his head, he was hardly certain whether or not that was a breakthrough in science or if that was a huge mistake. Either way, it hardly really mattered.

Considering the world was ending and all.

"...I feel much better now." Splin groaned.

Don't sweat it. The worst that could happen is the atmosphere heating up to the point where all conceivable life is exhausted and destroyed.

The blue Inkling shook his head with a sigh. The pair of the protagonists moved forward, the Octolings sitting in the hangar eventually taking notice of them.

One of the Octolings kicked away the board. "You're the guys Octavio gave the greenlight, right?"

"Indeed. We wish to borrow your machine as to prevent the destruction of the earth." Ityl stated.

The Octolings glanced at each other, then sighed simultaneously.

"Good luck then. I'm starting to regret having an A.I. embedded in this thing. Maybe we should've just used the original plans." The head Octoling spoke up.

With that said, the three octopuses got up and started trudging away, leaving Splin and Ityl alone with the robot warrior. One glowing eye on the Skell stared back at the two Inklings, but focused mostly on a certain somebody's cyan trails.

"INKLING MUTATIONS?" It probed, tilting its head.

Ityl shook hers. "No, just somewhat different."

"That's odd. :\" The Skell responded, the face flashing in its glowing eye.

They were in a standstill. Gaining distance overhead was a meteorite. Fully aware of this, Ityl took one step forward.

"I'd like to ask you a favor," Ityl began, "Could you-"

As if it knew what she was about to say, the Skell refused almost immediately. "THIS UNIT CANNOT RESPOND TO INKLING COMMANDS."

Biting her lip, Ityl glanced at the ceiling. In her hearts, she was rather uneasy. Honestly, she doubted it was due to the possibility of mass extinction. It was almost as if the real threat was closer than it seemed…

* * *

"Welp, here we are." Xarius smirked, looking out onto land.

Standing right next to him, Alabaso-

"Nngh! Blasted boat!" The longer tentacled Inkling spat.

The two of them along with Xarius' jolly old crew had set anchor down in a harbor. Behind the anchor that smashed into the asphalt of Inkopolis' harbor, they could see the modern skyscrapers and fences set ahead of them. Leaning on a railing, the Inkling among them with the longest tentacles tried and failed to stop the world from spinning.

Xarius turned around and tipped his cap. "Well now, someone's forgotten their sea legs, eh?"

"Blasted short-tentacled-" Alabaso coughed, before landing flat on the ground.

"Oy." Xarius shook his head, treading across the floor. "Alright down there, old timer?"

The pile of black tentacles on the floor rustled irritably. Xarius chuckled, just before looking up straight at the pirate ship deck. On top, a parrot perched on the shoulder of an Inkling woman with a bandana wrapped around her head.

"You sure you're gonna be fine alone?" Rosili asked, glaring at both of the men on land.

With a single thumbs-up, Xarius leaned back on his Inkbrush. "Look, I'll just go find my nephews. They look like they've been around. Plus, that lass… Maria, right? She could help out a bit."

Hueli scowled. "I dunno Xar. That woman makes me uneasy."

"Oy, we don't judge people, we prowl the seas. And… Steal things, occasionally, but that's not the point." Xarius shook his head. "The point is, me and Alabaso here-"

Said Inkling clutched onto the pirate's shoulder, panting heavily, with an angry glare. Hueli and Rosili shot each other uneasy glances.

"Are gonna go out, try to find his wife, and yadda yadda, happily ever after or something. Geez man you're heavy." Xarius spoke up.

Rosili frowned. "Xarius, how do you even know where his wife is?"

"Oh, I don't." Xarius admitted.

"What?!"

Both of them stumbled about, reaching the edge of the port. Teetering on the edge, the salty waves splashing underneath them, the two frantically made for land, which they did, falling with a thud on the hard concrete. As if the pair had too much to drink, they stumbled as they got to their feet, Alabaso scowling at Xarius' mistake.

"We'll be back." Xarius waved, his compadre scowling.

Those who stayed on the ship watched them go, the two of them bickering as they departed into the city, passing by other sea life pedestrians.

"...Oh, you better be." Rosili shook her head.

Overhead, the dot in the sky growing closer and closer had eclipsed a portion of the sun.

* * *

"Then, what if I oil up your joints? That sounds like something a robot might like."

"NEGATIVE. That's a no! You funny Inkling! My joints are one-hundred percent fine! :)"

Needless to say, the bargaining between Ityl and the Skell did not seem like it was reaching any standpoints. Ten minutes after the initial question, the time ticked by slowly. The only thing keeping Splin awake was the music in his ears and the tentacles sweeping across the floor whenever she shook her head.

Ityl's shoulders had drooped, matching the state of her robe and tentacles. She had tried everything, offers of all the sort. Granted, it was highly unsure of how she would persuade a robot.

"REPEATING ORDERS GIVEN: 'The Skell is strictly for Octarian use only'!" The Skell repeated.

"We were given 'Octarian permission'! I believe that qualifies enough!"

"For the love of Cod!" Splin cried out, "Ityl, let's go, it's obvious that the Skell is being too stubborn to cooperate."

Ityl glanced over at Splin, (He hopped once to avoid the sweep as usual) with a pout on her face.

"Splin, I mean no offense, but you have to understand that this is our one and only chance. We cannot find anyone else with the strength to repel a meteorite, you see?" Ityl spoke softly.

* * *

Maria stretched her arms, yawning as she got out of her bed feeling refreshed.

"...Mmm."

She fell back onto her bed, gazing up at the ceiling lazily.

* * *

Frowning, in the recesses of Splin's mind, there were at least five cases where the Octarians were not the only ones who had the capability to shatter meteorites. However, seeing their small time frame, he had to agree. Staying silent, he stared over at Ityl hopelessly. She simply smiled back at him, waving her tentacles reassuringly, turning back to the unhelpful mech.

"Mr. Skell, I highly doubt you have anything productive to do down in here, correct?" Ityl spoke up.

The Skell shot a glare toward the shattered chess board, humming an electronic hum. Its single glowing eye darted back and forth, the tentacles twitching restlessly. Despite the fact that it looked like Ityl was finally getting somewhere, taking precautions, Splin switched into a blue squid and slid away out of the hangar behind a wall, staring at the two from a safe distance.

"NEGATORY." The Skell shook its head.

Ityl's eyes narrowed, and her own tentacles began vibrating dangerously. "So be it."

The tensity in the room practically skyrocketed. Each of them glared at each other. Splin sighed, shaking his head, hoping and praying that this would go without anyone exploding today.

* * *

Meanwhile-

"Filthy ingrate!" Alabaso yelped.

"Oy, calm down." Xarius spoke up, "What's your deal?"

"The deal? The main deal, Xarius, is this disgusting slop. Honestly, I'd think that at least you would have some taste."

"Are you freakin'- It's a steak."

As the two of them walked through the streets of the city, as if it was not already strange enough to see a pair of Inklings in pirate garb and with tentacles clogging traffic, the two of them, or at least one of them, was chewing on a steak in the middle of walking, while the other one distastefully carried another piece of meat by one of his tentacles.

"Ah, right, because steak normally reeks of fish. Absolutely correct, Xarius." Alabaso rolled his eyes, one of his tentacles piercing the meal.

Xarius glared at him. "Alright, alright, Baso, let's take a look around, hmm?"

"Call me that again and I'll skewer your face." Alabaso sneered.

Putting both hands on the side of Alabaso's face, he turned around, making him take in every single sight and sound in the city. From the buildings, the bewildered pedestrians, the skyline, it was the epitome of modern Inkling architecture melding with the world.

"...I'm getting dizzy again. Stop it." Alabaso demanded.

On a whim, the two halted their whirling, letting the world reset to its stagnant state. Glaring at Xarius, Alabaso cocked an eyebrow.

"I don't see your point." Alabaso spoke up.

Xarius smirked. "Oh that's precisely it, Detective Gumshoe! There is none! Do you see ANY land animals around here?! Nope! Now shut up and eat!"

Alabaso scowled. "Who the shell would eat a steak that still smells like fish? That's abhorrent."

"Why would you care?! That's literally one of the ONLY things a species would like our's would eat! Weren't you the one who constantly went on and on about 'the importance of heritage'?! Well, I think that th' fact we're squids would be important, and that includes gobbling fish!" Xarius shouted.

Alabaso's tentacles writhed over his head. "Oh, suddenly the tasteless pirate knows something about the importance of heritage? My species prides itself in making every detail, every mark, every single aspect of our lives are prided on precision and beauty."

"Is that why you lived in a desolate temple for a few years?" Xarius sneered, his pirate cap tipping down slightly.

A crowd from the sidelines had gathered, staring at the two. That last line seemed to strike a particularly sensitive nerve, as Alabaso had trashed the steak, sending it to the floor where it met its "second end" with a splat. The pirate captain blinked, noticing the dangerous ferocity the tendrils wriggling from Alabaso's head seemed to rise, as did the tentacles. The company having gathered around murmured and shook unsteadily.

Xarius took one step back. Alabaso took one step forward. And with that, the two sprinted off, albeit for two opposing reasons through the city, Xarius stifling a chuckle as his companion attempted to pierce him with each and every tentacle he had on his head.

* * *

On the other end, the conflicts were just as fierce, as tentacle collided with tentacle in the hangar. As the two of them battled, both Inkling and Octoling alike looked on from a relatively safe distance.

"...There goes the peaceful negotiation." Splin spoke up, a few of the scientists from earlier perched behind him.

"I can't say I'm surprised." One of the scientists shook her head, "No matter what we seem to do, the programming just won't listen to reason."

Another one piped in. "It's always searching for a challenge. And when it finds that challenge…"

A blur of tentacle crossing against tentacle ensued, sparks somehow flying from the speed of the blows. Despite the offensive prowess, it seemed that neither of them had landed a successful hit.

"I dunno about you guys, but I think this is fine." Came a voice from behind them, followed by the chewing of food.

All three of the spectators present turned around. Lo and behold, Tai was standing behind them, chewing on what appeared to be popcorn. When she discovered that the center of attention had flipped to her, she just stared back at them.

"Whuh?" She muttered between a bite.

One of the other Octolings lowered her chin onto her fist with a frown. "Weren't you supposed to be somewhere?"

Tai blinked, and for a moment, racked through her brain, somewhat distracted by the fight going on in the background. A voice in her head cleared her out of her doldrums.

"TAI FOR THE LOVE OF COD IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN HERE I WILL COURT MARTIAL YOU TO THE POINT WHERE-"

Then she realized that it was hardly in her head, and more or less in reality. Her eyes grew in shock.

"Oh ship. Splin, scientists, see you later." She cursed under her breath, tossing the popcorn bucket to the side haphazardly.

Those in charge of the experiments and hangar groaned at her mess, though Splin continued to spectate the battle. It seemed like each and every tentacle strike was calculated; none of the combatants had so far landed a hit, though with each and every flash of cyan or violet, it seemed they grew closer and closer from their stagnant spots.

All of a sudden, with one tentacle raised in the air, the Skell seemed to momentarily let its guard down. Attempting to take advantage, Ityl launched all of her tentacles at once. Unfortunately for her, the Skell's second arm-like tentacle appendage blocked the blow, her tentacles flopping uselessly over the side of the mech's "arm". Then, with a swift chopping motion, the Skell swept under Ityl's legs, knocking her over where she landed on the ground with a thud.

Grunting, she shook her head, looking up towards her adversary. Already, the machine was hard set on another chopping move, raising its alternate tentacle this time. What it forgot to realize however was Ityl's tentacles. Willing her multiple wavy appendages, she wrapped them around the enemy's own tentacle, pulling herself up towards the shoulder of the machine, alternating her grapple as to anchor herself to the Skell's shoulder. The machine attempted to shake off the woman, only succeeding in having her flail around somewhat.

Meaning to strike, Ityl stabbed at her foe multiple times. Beeps and blips were the response. The Skell's defenses seemed to falter. Blinking, she continued jabbing at the machine.

"That's a strange strategy…" One of the scientists spoke up behind Splin.

"How so?" Splin asked, watching the combination of attacks the other Inkling laid on the Skell.

The other scientist crossed her arms. "That armor should be impenetrable to attacks like that. Only the most impressive of weaponry or the strongest of blows should even dent the Skell."

"Hmm… Maybe she's stronger than she looks?" Splin suggested, which the Octarians simply took with a grain of salt, watching the skirmish continue.

During her barrage of tentacle stabs, Ityl could make out a noise increasing in pitch. It sounded repetitive. As she continued her attack, the noise increased in volume. She paused. Was the Skell…? Her attacks suddenly became less vicious, and instead shifted into quick wriggling motions.

"Huh?" The spectators tilted their heads.

The Skell shook slightly, and the sound became increasingly apparent. Electronic blips, similar to that of laughter, began filling the room. The Skell ceased its rebellious defenses, and yielded to its own hilarity.

"What the…" The scientists spoke up.

They turned towards each other. "Did you install a nervous system or something?"

"No, I- How?"

Splin frowned. _"She's from space. I'm sure nothing at this point really matters anymore."_

Flawless deduction there, Splin.

" _...Don't patronize me."_ He thought, watching as the Skell had come to its knees and hopefully to its senses as well.

As soon as the Skell ceased its giggling fit, Ityl had found her way onto its metallic head, looking straight down at it.

"Now, what would you prefer, that or saving the earth?" She asked, eyeing the Skell carefully.

"...REQUEST GRANTED." The Skell shook its head in a sort of robotic shame, which inadvertently caused Ityl to spin around.

"Thank you." She spoke up, patting the head of the machine as if it were a puppy.

Using her tentacles, she slowly extended herself down towards the ground from the rubber neck of the Skell carefully, setting herself down. Her robe now perfectly straight, she walked over to Splin, smiling at him.

"Now?" She asked.

"...I suppose now's a good time as ever to save the world." Splin sighed, walking alongside Ityl as the Skell recharged in the background, preparing for whatever was to come.

* * *

Finally, Xarius' and Alabaso's journey of venturing through Inkopolis for a solid two hours had come to an end. Now approaching the ever ordinary house on the hills that was the Bate Brothers' household, the only obstacle left was ascending the hills. The both of them covered in bruises and scratches, they made their way up silently albeit with a frown.

"..." Alabaso's split lip frowned despite the pain.

"...Heh." The pirate captain next to him smirked. "You know, that was kinda nostalgic."

Alabaso had said nothing, and continued walking.

"Even now, you're still scolding me." Xarius murmured, breathing in. "Had I known better, I would've thought you were still trying to tutor me."

"..." His long tentacles prevented Xarius from seeing his face.

"...But you know, that's all in the past I 'spose." Xarius sighed.

"'Suppose'."

"Eh?" Xarius blinked, spinning towards Alabaso.

"It's 'suppose'. Short tentacled buffoon." Alabaso spoke underneath the shadows of his tentacles.

Despite his less than pleasant tone, Xarius could hardly help but smile. The two climbed the side of the hills, eventually reaching the top soon enough, where the wooden shack was stationed. Walking up to the door, Xarius gave a little knock, the two of them waiting patiently.

Eventually, the door swung open, revealing a somewhat baggy-eyed Maria. "...Mhm? Oh… Hi Xarius."

"Maria! How've ya been?" Xarius asked.

"...Tired." Maria yawned.

All of a sudden, her eyes shot open. Shoving Xarius out of the way, much to his displeasure, she began sprinting for his partner, Alabaso glaring straight at her and the house. Raising her fist to punch, she found herself ensnared in Alabaso's black tentacle. Maria growled as Alabaso soon came face to face with her.

"I'd kindly appreciate it if you would refrain from any attacks. I've had a long day, and I want to get this over with as soon as possible." Alabaso spoke through grit teeth.

"Maria, it's fine, he's with me." Xarius groaned, getting to his feet.

Though reluctantly, Maria relaxed. Feeling her arms loosen up in his tentacle grip, Alabaso swiftly retracted his tendrils, wrapping them up behind his back, though keeping a careful eye on her. Xarius, having finally gotten up to his feet, cleared his throat.

"Uh, where are the boys?" Xarius asked, glancing around.

Maria frowned, placing one finger on her chin. "Erm, I saw Splin on the roof before I drifted off to sleep, and I think Sharq went off to play in a Turf War or something."

"'Turf War'? Still wrapped in mindless battles after all of that conflict?" Alabaso scowled.

Maria glared at Alabaso. "It's a modern thing, maybe if you got more sunlight you would know."

Alabaso simply rolled his eyes. The pirate of the group just frowned, glancing about the air and the hills.

"Would you have any idea where Splin might be?" Xarius asked.

"Right now?" Maria muttered, staring towards the sky.

An electronic hum buzzed overhead, turning everyone's heads towards the sky. Once again, Xarius and Alabaso were silenced. After all, it was hardly everyday you saw a pair of squids hanging on the side of a mechanical monstrosity, hovering down onto the ground, the grass blown back by the hovering capabilities, pushed down flat across the ground. Maria grinned at Xarius, gesturing towards the mech.

"...Thanks." Xarius shrugged, backing up ever so slightly from the mechanical monstrosity.

Setting its metal feet down on the ground, the Skell released steam into the air as if exhaling. Ityl and Splin dropped from the shoulders of the Skell, falling onto the ground. Hastily, they glanced at the sky.

"Uh, Ityl, if you've got a plan, you'd better put it to use now!" Splin cried out.

"Right." Ityl nodded, pointing towards the sky. "Skell!"

"Ityl!" Alabaso suddenly shouted, startling everyone.

"Whoa, what?" Xarius blinked.

Ityl halted, glaring towards Alabaso with a distrustful glare. "No."

Her husband made his way over towards her, with an equally ominous look to boot. The two's tentacles collided in a flash, pushing for reasons different to one another. Maria and Xarius were almost completely dumbfounded. To top it all off, the meteorite was clearly visible overhead.

"Skell!" Splin shouted, sweating bullets.

On a whim, the Skell nodded quickly, reaching for a holstered weapon on its side. A rather terrifying sight in its own regard, the large ink gun it wielded was certainly a sight to behold outside of its sheath. It paled in comparison of the potential disaster looming overhead. Nevertheless, Splin asked, and he would be the one to follow through with his request. With one shot, the Skell fired.

And missed.

* * *

For a brief moment, Splin remembered most of what had happened in the short time Splatoon had gained popularity. He remembered the Turf Wars, how his story began, the ink slide park disaster. The slow news days, the tree bearing apples on the hill, Ari, Tai, Aussie, Chi, Willie, Zip, everybody. Now it seemed as if it was all to vanish in an instant.

* * *

The incoming object flew across the sky. Across the planet, it was a magnificent yet terrifying streak of red across blue. Eventually, the incoming meteorite began flying outside the orbit of the planet. It slowly made its way out of the stratosphere and left the planet known as Earth, preventing destruction.

Everyone just stared at the sky for a while. There was no bickering, no arguments. The tentacles of Alabaso and Ityl were wrapped together tranquilly, though fear was the main root of the cause. Splin blinked. It was not his time, it was not their time. The game known as their lives would continue for a little while longer.

"Hold on, did the prophecy have two zeros..." Ityl frowned.

"...Would this be a bad time to mention that I'm yer guy's uncle, Splin?" Xarius whispered, kneeling by his nephew.

Splin blinked, glancing over his shoulder, staring back at his pirate uncle. "...That's actually pretty cool."

Xarius grinned. "Ain't it?"

* * *

AN: What a twist, eh?

Thanks Ultrapyre, write n wrong, and Rynowm for reviewing! That's what I was going for with Ityl to be honest, so, mission accomplished I suppose, Ultrapyre? write n wrong, I guess the world has been spared for another day! Rynowm, I honestly hadn't been set on an exact length, it's long and can extend is the basics, so...yeah. Good luck on your Robocraft story!

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to try and earn money for my space species in Spore, see you!


	46. A Pirate, A Spacewoman, and a Sharq

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

" **A Pirate, a Spacewoman, and a Sharq Walk Into a House…"**

Tense. That was the word that could describe the Bate household at this time. Any seat possible was taken, the kitchen counters were occupied by Splin and Xarius, her bed loyally occupied by Maria obviously, and glaring at one another in an unflinching staring contest of sorts were Ityl and her less than remarkable husband Alabaso. Both tentacles strewn about the floor covering said wooden floor twitched irritably. The younger brothers of the Bate family scooted the seats by the kitchen counter back, despite the fact that their knees practically dug into their stomachs at this point. Maria watched from her sheets, with the mien of a child, awaiting a potential throwdown with a grain of salt.

"..." Each of them acting like a mirror of expressions, the wedded couple radiated ferocity.

Had Phish's housework been shoddier, Splin had believed that the sheer animosity would be enough to destroy the entire house. Gulping, he glanced at Xarius, who simply shrugged.

Hey Splin.

Splin glanced at the ceiling worriedly.

You seem tense.

Splin frowned, rolling his eyes. _"Yeah, you mentioned that earlier."_

Well, right now, that doesn't seem to be the problem. You know how the meteorite missed? The least that it had done was clear up problems for YOU.

The youngest of the Bate family sighed, staring down at his lap. Perhaps it was a little too specific, but there were a couple of issues he needed fixing somehow. Namely marriage counseling arrangements and explaining all of this nonsense to Maria and the others. Lifting his head up slowly, he could hardly take his eyes off of the wooden ceiling. He briefly reflected on the events: The meteorite missed, Ityl's prophecy had been inaccurate somehow, but she had not been lying about being from space, apparently.

This was getting rather conflicted, fast. Just when he noticed a twitch of the tentacles, the door to the house swung open.

"Hey guys!"

Almost as if the room was a bomb, Sharq defused the tension, drawing everyone's attention to the entrance of the house. Standing with a new roller in hand, splatters of green, orange and pink covering his clothes, he trudged in, leaving a sizable colorful footprint behind him.

Ityl blinked, glancing over at Splin, then back to Sharq. "You hadn't told me you had a brother."

Splin shrugged almost bashfully.

"Hi mysterious lady!" Sharq waved.

Despite her feud with her "significant" other, Ityl managed a small smile at Sharq as he entered, Sharq placing the roller weapon to the side. The glare of a less than gleeful Inkling with drapes for tentacles caught his attention. Curiously, Sharq looked over and stared, blinking, eventually squinting at Alabaso.

"What is it, boy?" Alabaso asked wrathfully.

"...I feel like I know you from somewhere." Sharq spoke up.

Alabaso snapped, "Of course you do! You were the same person who tried to fire a cannonball at me!" He yelled.

"...Oh! That's you! Oh." Sharq backed away very slightly.

Alabaso rolled his eyes. "Who else?"

"Hmm." Sharq walked over towards him.

Switching into a squid, Sharq began revolving around the larger squid curiously. Eyeing his glare, his tentacles, his ragged clothing, everything about him. Eventually, Alabaso stopped him, raising a wall using his own tentacles, Sharq butting into the tentacles.

"What are you doing." Alabaso sighed, hardly wishing to know the actual answer.

"It is you! Sorry, I couldn't recognize you at first." Sharq nodded, "That temple was dark."

Frowning, Alabaso turned to the kitchen with a grimace on his face, peering at Splin. "Is he this obnoxiously carefree?"

Splin blinked once, then shyly nodded honestly. Alabaso sneered, turning his head back to where his wife was.

"Reminds me of someone else." The man scowled.

Xarius made a face at Alabaso from behind his back as he searched for Ityl, whom he could not find. On the bright side, she was no longer glaring at him. Instead, she had opted to make for the door, having stuffed her tentacles down the back of her cloak to mostly prevent them from dragging.

"Thank you for having me." Ityl spoke up in a soft voice with a quick wave, walking outdoors.

"Hey!" Alabaso shouted, letting his tentacles drop to the floor with an audible thump, startling Sharq, dashing out the door.

As the entrance slammed shut, the remaining Inklings just sat there, staring at each other.

"So how were… Your guys' days?" Sharq asked.

The three others glanced from kitchen to bed with a frown. Though Xarius quickly gave Sharq a toothy grin.

* * *

"I didn't know I had an uncle!" Sharq spoke up, jumping onto the back of Xarius.

"Well, it's just a hunch for now. Unless- Who's your mom?" Xarius asked with a smirk.

"Mom, of course!" Sharq smiled, just causing Xarius to roll his eyes.

Maria sat on the side of her bed, staring at the three other Inklings conversing. She hummed, glancing at the sky. Sure, she might be capable of punching tons of people into submission, but at the moment, she felt somewhat homesick.

"Pirah, right?"

Splin searched through a laptop, blinking, eventually coming across a regular old image file. Using a mouse on the side of the counter he was on-

Xarius scowled, tilting his head. "How'd you get that so fast?"

He clicked on the image file, which expanded into a photo of the brothers and their parents. Phish with his tie undone merrily making a sign with his fingers over Pirah's head, Pirah only rolling her eyes with a smile, two small blue squids with the brothers' trademark headgear worn on by their parents' feet.

"...There they are." Splin shrugged, all of the Inklings in the room staring at the screen.

Xarius sighed. "Ah, Pirah…"

Maria glanced at the three others. She hummed, perhaps she was not the only one with a case of family fragmentation. They practically glared at the picture on screen for what seemed to be forever, until a voice chimed in.

"Hey, hate to break up the memories, but uh…" A voice came from behind the computer.

For a second, Xarius stared at the laptop as if it grew a limb. Inspecting the flat device from every angle, he scowled. He even tapped some of the keys on the front just to be safe.

"I forget, this thing come with a voice recorder or something?" Xarius asked curiously, as if modern comforts were a thing of the past to him.

As Xarius said that, a less than pleased looking amiibo popped out from behind the laptop, only bewildering the pirate more.

Ann-Gel shook her head, staring upwards. "No, I'm alive. Name's Ann-Gel."

For a moment, Xarius wondered if perhaps Alabaso had a point when it came to discrimination against which food one should consume. After Splin whispered something to him though, he glanced at his own buccaneer get-up and nodded, raising his index finger to the trophy, shaking its hand.

"Right. What's going on… Ann-Gel?" Xarius asked almost reluctantly as if the prospect of a pirate speaking to a trophy was forbidden.

Said trophy glanced at the back of the house. "I was up on the roof- It was hard climbing the stairs- And I saw the two that walked out here fighting."

Xarius shook his head with a grimace. "Alabaso never really gives up at that."

"Except they kinda decided to take the fight towards the city." Ann-Gel told them, rubbing the back of her head, "And they're kinda causing a stir. Just wanted to let you guys know."

As the amiibo began hopping away, Sharq interjected quickly with a "Wait!". She turned around towards the Inkling.

"How'd you get down here so fast if it took you that long to climb the stairs?" Sharq asked.

Ann-Gel gave a brief glance towards the ceiling hole. As she did so, Xarius got to his feet, frowning.

"Alabaso always reacts like this. Overreacting… Who knows what he'll do to try and get his wife back?" Xarius scowled, pacing around the floor.

After Ann-Gel's short, wordless explanation, Sharq walked off from the seat by the counter towards the television screen across from them. Finding the remote control haphazardly tossed on the floor, he picked it up, pressing a simple button. Sirens and warnings flooded the screen as the city of Inkopolis appeared to be sieged by a pair of Inklings running amok with long tentacles stretching like whips, panicked citizens dodging the tendrils. Sharq immediately shut the television off and whirled around towards the others.

"...Well." Xarius blinked.

Splin sighed. "The city's being attacked again. Of course."

"Come on, let's go then!" Sharq spoke up, running outside onto the hills towards Inkopolis.

For the final time in that house today, the remaining Inklings glanced at each other once more, Ann-Gel staring at the entire group of organic beings curiously, waiting.

"...Should we?" Splin asked with a frown, taking a look at the floor for a second.

Feet shuffling and the door rapidly opening and closing was enough to answer his question. With a sigh, Splin stood up, stretched, and made his way over towards the stairs.

"You're not going with them?" Ann-Gel asked curiously.

Splin shook his head as he ascended up the staircase. "No, thank you. I need to figure out how to put together this Squid Beakon anyways… Besides," He reached the roof, "I think I've been in the spotlight for long enough now, haven't I?"

Ann-Gel crossed her arms, then shrugged as Splin left her line of sight to continue his work, slow but steady clanks.

* * *

Switching into a squid again was somewhat lubricating to Xarius, he hardly felt like he was on a mission to locate his sister as he spun through the clouds. No, instead he was on a mission to stop his former mentor from possibly killing anyone. The funny thing was that despite the entire absurdity of the situation, his nephew and Maria spun with him, ready despite any of the possible dangers.

Xarius had not lived in the city for a few years, but he hardly remembered life threatening situations as entirely on par with "normal". Though her sister burning down their home might have been a red flag from the start… Nevertheless, as three squids touched the ground with a thud and reformed as Inklings standing upright, they were determined to find the others and possibly sort out this emotional baggage behind this odd, space, long-tentacle conspiracy.

* * *

But not right now because of time constraints! Find out next time on The Brothers and the Others Z!

* * *

"...Now that's just lazy." Xarius frowned, shaking his head.

Since when do you talk to the narrator?

The pirate shook his head, looking out on the modern expanse of asphalt and cement ahead of them. "Since the day I had to navigate a city for a bloomin' jerk."

An echo ran throughout the buildings. While Xarius could hardly make it out, the scornful tone and the frustrated words that ran through made him smirk. They were on the right path at least.

* * *

AN: Can't wait to see Okuyasu to eat Italian and cry a lot.

Thanks Ultrapyre, Dread Angel, and write n wrong for reviewing!

Ultrapyre, I have to apologize for not properly making it as riveting as you'd hope, there's always next chapter I suppose.

Dread Angel, it seems like that meteorite hadn't hit home, so I suppose Maria will have to flex her muscles later.

Indeed, write n wrong, for another day, but how long?

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to read the mango. See you.

Oh yeah, by the time you're reading this, Nintendo E3 is in few minutes. See you on Twitch probably.


	47. The Hierophants of Fate (and Squids)

Quick E3 Observation: Well, Nintendo's E3 was okay in my opinion… Felt kinda underwhelming with the amount of games. Oh well, at least The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild and Pokémon Sun and Moon looks fantastic. BotW looks rather appealing for its nonlinearity so far, though I hope the story is not put to the side like MGSV. Eh, sorry, jus wanted to give my two cents.

With that out of the way, off to the story.

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **The Hierophants of Fate and Squids**

The last time he had entered Inkopolis was when Xarius had attempted to rob a pharmacy to keep him and his crew nourished on food. That single handedly changed quite a bit. Now that he was back in Inkopolis for the second time today, he felt as if there certainly was some sort of mystical forces at work here. Strange as it was, there were hardly any Inklings outside at the moment despite all of the chaos recorded on the television. For the most part, anyways. The only exception the captain could notice was him, Sharq, and Maria, all anxiously watching themselves and the perimeters around them. There had been smoke on the television screen, and yet there was an eerie silence, as if the fire had already been snuffed out.

Cautiously, they made a simultaneous sneaking motion forward. Now, the actual range of sensing an Inkling's ears are debatable, but considering the loud whirring noise going through the air coming closer, it hardly took a genius to realize they should probably duck for cover. They did just that, the four of them hitting the deck as a tentacle shot out above them, poised to strike. Crouched below, the three gazed up at the tentacle as it wriggled overhead. The cyan coloring of the tendril indicated that it was Ityl herself behind the strike.

"Oh." Sharq muttered, reaching up to feel the tentacle.

"Sharq!" Maria sighed, taking his hand, planting it down on the asphalt.

Which was good, considering that another tentacle was incoming. Similar to a spear, it attempted to skewer Sharq's hand, but thanks to Maria's forewarning sense of danger, the biological weapon missed completely, a glad Maria grinning at the prospect of having prevented a loss of limb. Sharq blinked, staring up at that new tentacle. He reached for that as well.

"Stop, please." Maria spoke in a sweet yet dangerous tone.

Sharq slowly lowered his arm. On the other side of the ground, Xarius cursed under his breath, rolling towards the sidewalk, eventually switching to a bluish-red squid. He hopped onto the solid gray cement, beckoning with his tentacles for the others to do the same. Noticing his gestures, both of the others reverted into their primitive cephalopod forms, crawling over the black road next to the safety of a building. Slowly, they changed into Inklings, standing upright, cautious for anymore of those ballistic tentacle missiles.

Xarius huffed, readjusting his own captain's cap. "Figured as much."

"What?!" Maria scowled at the pirate.

Said Inkling rubbed the back of his neck. "This is kinda a battle thing that uh… Long tentacles do."

Maria glared at Xarius for a full minute with her hands accusingly on her hips, staring down the pirate angrily.

"Alright, look, it HAD crossed my mind." He muttered, "I may have neglected to tell ye about the stabbings."

"Stabbings." Maria repeated in a deadpan tone, then repeated again, "Stabbings."

Xarius frowned, glancing away. "Yeah, it's sort of an offensive technique-"

"And Sharq could've gotten his arm chopped off." Maria muttered, obviously less than impressed with his current track record. "Great job, uncle."

"Oy! Why are you so irritated?!" Xarius scowled.

Maria frowned, suddenly taking ahold of Sharq, lifting him up to Xarius' face, the younger Inkling waving despite having no idea what Maria was doing. "This."

"...Hi Sharq." Xarius waved back, arching an eyebrow.

"Come on Xarius, you gotta take responsibility." Maria huffed.

"You're telling me now?!" Xarius' mouth gaped open as he gestured towards the tentacles currently having a scuffle next to them, "I hardly knew he was my nephew until yesterday! Give me a break!"

As Maria and Xarius continued to have an untimely conversation about being a legal guardian, Sharq stared at the tentacles brawling on the streets. Flashes of light blinked in between the tentacles as they slashed at each other rapidly. Neither of them seemed to let up, and the eldest brother of the most recent generation of the Bate family line seemed interested in watching the sparks fly between the two colors as they flung themselves without a care in the world. Eventually, Sharq could hear their bickering behind him grow louder.

Turning back towards the other two Inklings, Sharq could hear something about "new responsibilities" which was responded to with a "since when do pirates do" and so on and so forth. Not exactly on the level with their speech, Sharq spun back towards the tentacles. He stared at the lot of them for a while.

"...One. Two." He counted, pointing at each one individually, "Three, four, five…"

"And another thing, I just realized-" Maria began, only to be stopped when she had caught a glimpse of a few shadows.

Xarius blinked, looking over her shoulder. Both Alabaso's and Ityl's tentacles wiggled in a deadly fashion, a few of the separate strands striking each other occasionally. Lifting his Takoroka Mesh up to get a better view of the mass, Sharq continued his count.

"Twenty, twenty-one… Hmm. Well, I don't have an exact count, but that sure is a lot of them." Sharq nodded, placing his hat back on his head.

His single movement seemed to attract the attention of the tentacles. They froze, their tips sharpened, ready for an attack. As the tendrils paused in midair, the same effect happened to the Inklings on the sidewalk.

"...Don't move a muscle." Xarius whispered, staring at the tentacles.

Sharq resisted the urge to turn his head. "Why?"

"This was a strategy these Inklings used once upon a time." Xarius sighed, adjusting his pirate cap, the tentacles seemingly aiming in his direction, "Closed in spaces would serve as a bunker while these guys' tentacles would stab at enemies. 'Course, the Inkling behind it couldn't use their eyes. They'd need to concentrate."

Maria frowned. "Then…"

"Alabaso, Cod da… I guess he and his lady got into a spat." The pirate closed his eyes.

Very slowly, Xarius reached for his Inkbrush in its wood sheath, pulling it out slowly, the red ink on the thin brush glimmering as sunlight introduced itself. The thin predators waited as the motion of the brush being pulled was felt through the air. Quickly, one of the fingers on the weapon's hilt shot out towards a nearby building. A red blob of ink dripped off of the Inkbrush and launched itself towards a skyscraper, splattering across the wall. Interested, the tentacles followed the sound and movement of the crimson ink.

"Alright, let's run!" Xarius commanded, dragging his two companions by the arms.

They caught on quickly, starting to use their own feet to make haste. After the tentacles discovered the ruse, they turned right back around, ready to strike again. The others dashed away across the sidewalk, Sharq sneaking a cautionary glance over his shoulder as they made their way around a building. He gulped, starting to dash faster as he noticed that they were returning with quite the vengeance after being rabble-roused by Xarius' scheme.

Though they were too absorbed in the chase, after a while, the troupe of Inklings realized they were practically running in circles with little direction; they attempted to avoid all of the tentacles at every twist and turn, however, they could not run forever. Despite the feud ongoing between each set of their elongated pursuers behind them, the tentacles seemed bent on stabbing them. Farther away as they sprinted through the city, they noticed a sanctuary in the form of a restaurant. Grinning, Xarius picked up speed, gesturing for the others to follow. Dodging the appendages flapping behind them, they reached the front door of the food establishment, and without hesitation, leaped in through the doors.

"Ow Cod!" Xarius yelped, rubbing the shards of glass he got from JUMPING INTO A GLASS DOOR.

"See?!" Maria pointed out, gesturing towards the sky. "Even voice thinks you need to shape up!"

Well technically-

Xarius scowled, glaring back at the squid mother. "What does jumping into doors have to do with-"

"Watch out!" Sharq exclaimed, the entirety of the group diving further inside, landing on the hardwood floor, sliding off until they hit the side of a table.

Rubbing his head, Sharq, stood up slowly, staring over at the tentacles that invaded the restaurant, wriggling dangerously.

He frowned, glancing at Xarius. "I don't get it. Why are they fighting?"

The captain bit his lip. "Well, picture this. You get sent up into space because of your husband, and now you're back, and he wants you to stay with him regardless. Ain't rocket science. ...For the most part, anyways."

Eventually, as the group stopped and stared at the angry appendages, they stopped attempting to impale them. Almost as if they had a change of heart, instead, they went back to stabbing each other, starting to move away from the restaurant. They blinked, all simultaneously frowning.

"Huh. Happened to you too Sharq?"

Noticing the voice coming from behind, Sharq whirled around. A cluster of sea creatures, including Willie, Zip, and Pela, had barricaded the counters with tables and seats, each one staring curiously at the handful of bizarre Inklings who had just escaped the awfulness that was the tentacles.

"Crusty Sean?" Sharq suddenly asked, noticing a prawn ducking behind the counter.

Perking up, the orange prawn in the purple beanie gave a small wave, along with his trademark, "How you doing squiddo?"

Sharq gave a short wave back as Willie sighed, gazing out the broken windows. "You guys had a run in with the tentacles too, huh?"

"Things showed up out of nowhere and started stabbing people." Zip commented, folding her arms on the side of the counter next to the cash register.

Suddenly the owner, Pela, in all her apron-covering-Turf-War-gear-glory stood up. "Worst thing is, no one's buying any food! What the shell?!"

"Pela's also been on edge." Willie pointed out, "Girl's been losing it since the profits have been lost."

"Losing it?" Pela frowned, glaring down at Willie, "This is a business we're running here! We can't afford to stand around NOT making food."

"Well Pela," Zip sighed, glancing at the kitchen behind the counters, "You go ahead and try to reach any of the ingredients in there."

Huffing, Pela adjusted her chef's toque planted firmly on the top of her head, and started for the kitchen, stomping across the polished floors irritably. She turned to her employees, waved her hands, placed them on a handful of food ingredients, and waved them in the air mockingly. Of course, that only succeeded in attracting more tentacles, which promptly started pecking at her from the ventilation system and the back door of the restaurant as if they were a flock of irritated avians, causing her to yelp. Frowning, the two of them got to their feet and approached the kitchen, picking up utensils from the shining counters, brandishing knives at the tentacles.

"Hey! Shoo, get outta here!" Willie shouted.

Presumably Alabaso's tentacles responded by taking the knife and flinging it towards them. Luckily, the lack of proper eyesight made it miss, but only by a narrow margin. Staring down at the knife embedded in his shoe, Willie gulped, retrieving it with shaking hands. Zip bit her lip, staring at his foot in fear. Experimentally, Willie wriggled his toes. A sigh of relief escaped their mouths when they noticed his feet were still in one piece. Still, the fact that the collection of tentacles was still on the loose was less than reassuring, so the trio made their way back towards the front, ditching the food.

"Okay." Pela frowned, glancing back.

Sharq glanced up at the tentacles, which retreated almost as quickly as they had appeared. "Hmm."

"What is it?" Xarius arched an eyebrow.

"I don't get it." Sharq frowned. "How come they're not coming closer? We're right here."

That statement seemed to unnerve the rest of the refugees stuck in the restaurant. However, Xarius on the other hand nodded knowingly.

"My best guess is that they aren't too keen on wiping anyone out except each other." Xarius commented.

Sharq perked up, staring at Xarius. "So then…"

Xarius frowned. "Until one of 'em drops dead, Inkopolis is pretty much stuck."

"What?! That's awful!" Sharq stated, getting to his feet, making for the door, "We gotta stop them!"

"Hold on there Sharq!" Xarius shouted, grabbing Sharq by the back of his White Anchor Tee, keeping him from making it farther, "I ain't letting you go out and let yourself get splatted now. Those two aren't going to spare anyone who's foolish enough to run out into the middle of a battle."

"We can't just let them keep fighting though!" Sharq cried out.

Xarius sighed, shaking his head. "Listen, I get that you wanna help. But I ain't letting you get splatted trying. Besides," He leaned in to whisper by his ears, "I… Honestly don't wanna get scolded anymore than needed."

Sharq frowned, his shoulders drooping. "Oh…"

"...Listen," Xarius smirked, placing him on the floor, "How 'bout I go out there and-"

"I'll go." Maria grinned, sneakily taking Xarius' Inkbrush from him.

Xarius blinked. "What?! You wanted me to be the cool uncle-"

"And I'm the cool random mom who was teleported to this universe." Maria told him with a smirk, "I'll handle this."

"...Huh?" Xarius tilted his head.

"Look Xarius, I haven't done anything for a couple of days. You on the other hand have been adventuring for years." Maria stated, shuffling towards the door.

"...Is this just another scheme to get me to 'be an uncle' or something." Xarius asked, though he was already certain of her little plan.

"Mm." She shrugged, opening the glass door.

The door practically fell apart instantly due to Xarius' headstrong nature from earlier. Maria blinked, waving goodbye with the Inkbrush in her hand.

"You don't even know how to use that." Xarius retorted.

Maria laughed. "It's basically a sword. I already know a guy who uses one."

"...Fine." Xarius rolled his eyes, "But if you die I'm pretty sure you'll have nothing to blame but the 'sword'."

"Yeah, like a little 'sword' is going to do me in." She laughed, "See you two later!"

With that, she sprinted outside, wielding the Inkbrush in both of her hands, the refugees cheering somewhat despite the general uneasiness of the group, the employees of the eatery awaiting the impending success, while Xarius and Sharq sat down, staring out at the buildings bordering the restaurant.

"Oh, I get it! Foreshadowing!" Sharq suddenly spoke up, slamming his fist on the palm of his hand.

"...I don't catch your drift." Xarius said, rubbing the back of his head.

* * *

Edging around a building slowly, Maria stared out from the safety of the bricks that made up the building, noticing a stream of black lines hovering over the road. Just then, Maria realized something vital.

" _What exactly do I do?"_ She wondered.

She had intended to stop the onslaught of tentacles, but still, she was a bit reluctant to do so. Alabaso, sure, she could probably beat him up, but Ityl on the other hand seemed like a nice girl from the glances she shot at her. At the very least, she thought of the ever classic ideology that was "the enemy of my enemy is my friend". Of course, despite having three daughters and a son, she was not entirely sure of how the concept of revenge properly corrupted one's mind. She assumed she was angry with Alabaso, that much was certain, but seeing as how she had not stopped at even spearing innocents…

Her chance hovered in front of her. If she wanted to do something, she would have to do it now. Raising the Inkbrush over her head slowly, she walked up to the road, and attempted to swing down.

The ink completely faltered and dripped down from the brush onto the tentacles almost harmlessly. Her eyes shot open. Suddenly, the tentacles twitched, and from a distance, Maria could see the tentacles returning to attack. She smacked the tentacles again with the brush, the ink flying everywhere except her intended target. Scowling, she wanted to sheath it somewhere, only having realized that there was no sheath to return it to. Frowning, she set it on the ground, and put up her fists.

"Oof!" Maria shouted as a dozen tentacles zipped across her face, leaving a red mark.

Frowning, she rubbed her face, immediately getting back up to her feet. Essentially, the next five minutes were akin to getting fish slapped a couple thousand times in a row. Eventually, that left a Maria on the ground. Despite her multiple injuries, the only thing that actually hurt was her pride.

" _Come on Maria! It's just a couple of tentacles."_ She coughed, getting back up.

Almost instantaneously, Alabaso's tentacles came by and practically sucker punched her to the ground, where she sat dazedly.

Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!

After her dizziness began to fade, Maria shook her head, glaring back up at the tentacles, then grinned somewhat.

"Alright, alright." She muttered, getting up with her fists up and ready.

Like a boxer with no air game, Maria dashed towards the tentacles. Almost as if expecting this, the tendrils launched towards her, poised to strike. Unfortunately for them, the punch they were expecting never came. Instead, they found themselves in a bit of a tight situation. While they had no lungs of the sort, they felt choked as they were grappled by Maria, who promptly began slamming them into the asphalt over and over.

"Ha! Gotcha now." Maria stated triumphantly.

As she said that, she hardly noticed the cyan tentacles coming around the corner. Blinking, she stepped back cautiously. She had no plan, and her hands were tied in almost a literal sense. With no other options, she put up her guard, with the tentacles still attached. A loud smack ensued as the mess of strands crashed into each other.

Staring at the rolled up ball of tentacles, Maria noticed that they attempted to escape one another, though uselessly. Looking around the city, she noticed that the tentacles began to curve up. Frowning, she glanced back down at the tentacles. She gave a tug on each end.

"..." For a moment, there was silence…

"...aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAGH?!" A set of voices yelped.

Maria looked up, then froze. Looking to and fro, she attempted to run, only for the other two Inklings she had ensnared to land on top of her, the mess of Inklings groaning on the ground. Ityl and Alabaso laid dazed on top of the heap.

"...Oh, dang."

Maria opened one eye. Standing across from them was Xarius, who inspected his Inkbrush as he stared at Maria, Sharq sitting on the sidewalk.

Xarius smirked. "I can see you really put the brush to use. Bravo, ooh, bravo Miss Maria."

Had Maria not been crushed underneath two other Inklings, she would have probably strangled Xarius. However, she mentally reassured herself that traumatizing Sharq by murdering his uncle in front of him was not the best plan of action.

* * *

"You caught the guys who were beating each other up? Wow!" Willie spoke up.

Sharq sat at a table, having been readjusted and put on its side, with Willie and Zip sitting next to him.

"Nice one Sharq." Zip grinned, "Saved the day yet again."

"Aw." Sharq blushed, "I can't really take any credit for that. Maria and Xarius helped out the most!"

"Hey, where are those two anyways?" The female in the Sporty Bobble Hat asked.

Lifting up his Takoroka Mesh, he frowned. "Maria went home, and Xarius had to go, he said he needed Alabaso and Ityl's help. I dunno why, but he dragged them off and said goodbye."

"Man, that's harsh." Willie frowned, "You meet your uncle and then he's gotta leave."

Sharq smiled. "He'll be back soon."

"Ahem." All of a sudden, Pela showed up, standing by the table, "I'd like to formally thank you."

"Huh?" Sharq blinked, staring at her, "Oh, you're welcome?"

Pela grinned, gesturing towards the rearranged tables . "You managed to help save my business. For that, I'm eternally thankful. I'd like to give you a bit of a reward for your efforts."

"Aw, it was nothing." Sharq grinned.

You can say that again.

A bead of blue sweat dripped down the side of Sharq's face. Nevertheless, being the Sharq Sharq was, he gratefully extended his hands. Reaching into her apron, Pela placed a single slip of paper in his hands, and she bowed, walking back off into the kitchen, leaving them to their own. The trio of Inklings gathered around the table stared at the ticket in his hands.

"...'10% off'." Zip read out loud in a deadpan voice, "Gee, how generous Pela."

"I know right? By the way, you two should get back to work if you wanna get paid!" She called out from behind the counters.

The two lovebird/employees sighed, waving to Sharq. Watching them go, he stuffed the coupon in his pockets, and lounged on his chair, staring at the ceiling.

" _...Hmm, why do I get the feeling I'm forgetting something?"_ Sharq tilted his head.

* * *

"I don't think that's how a Squid Beakon is supposed to look." Splin spoke up.

"How so?"

Splin examined the machine. "For starters, you put a cricket on the satellite dish."

"AFFIRMATIVE. That's the antenna! :3"

Splin and the Skell stared down at their "magnum opus" that was the beacon. Constructed on top of the house, it looked more like a house for crickets than anything else. The fact that a pizza stone was place where the satellite dish would normally be and a cricket lounged in the sun on top of it was rather… Interesting, to say the least.

"...Does it work though…?" Splin asked with an intense, almost foolhardy curiosity.

From the sky, Splin could notice a light green glint flying towards them. Maria had switched from squid form to Inkling form to wave at Splin as she flew by. "By" being the key word. Flying over the house, a resulting crash could be heard that might have leveled a whole city had it hit anywhere else, and with that, the Squid Beakon disassembled in an instant. The young brother sighed, letting his headphones fall to his neck.

"I think you need to work on it a bit…" Maria groaned after falling to the ground for the umpteeth time today, with the added sounds of dirt scraping across her feet.

Splin stared up at the Skell. Almost like a child without any patience, it simply began hovering off, leaving them behind. Now without any assistance to rebuild the machine, Splin shook his head, and began making his way off to roof to assess Maria's damage report.

* * *

"...This Pirah… She's important to you, yes?" Ityl murmured.

"Clam straight." Xarius spoke in a gruff voice, "Sorry, but I'm in kind of a hurry. I'd like your answer sooner or later, we need all the help we can get."

Ityl stared down at a photo containing the mother of the brothers for a while, eventually closing her eyes. "Very well. You seem as though you know what you're doing. I will do everything in my power to help you find your sister. On one condition."

"What's that?" Xarius asked.

On the deck of the ship out at sea, Ityl glanced over her shoulder. "Keep me far away from this man."

Sitting right next to her, their tentacles still folded into a knot was a grumpy Alabaso who sulked, somewhat embarrassed the battle had ended with Maria practically slamming them into the ground. Xarius sighed, nodding, and as they drifted out to sea on the ship, a few of the crew members onboard staring at them as if they were bizarre statues, he went to work on undoing the knot.

" _...We're coming, Pirah."_ He thought to himself.

The sea carried the ship over the horizon, Inkopolis fading into a speck in the background, until both faded from each other's' viewpoints.

* * *

AN: I could've made an Emerald Splash reference somewhere, but that reference might be a bit "indigestible" if you catch my drift.

...I feel remorse for my actions.

Uh, thanks write n wrong for reviewing! Sorry, there wasn't much marriage counseling. Mostly just running.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you sometime that isn't right now.


	48. Aussie the Commander

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Aussie, the Commander With Hearts Of Ice**

Gasping for breath, an Inkling garbed in an agent's uniform, neon colors wrapped around her body, had taken cover behind a wall. She let her beaten Hero Shot fall to the floor, listening as it clattered down, orange ink spilling out of the nozzle. She was barely hanging on, and already felt her eyelids drop from exhaustion. Nevertheless, the constant running and gunning was taking a toll on her.

Grunting, she attempted to stand up, albeit very weakly. Eventually, as she laid there, breathing in and out, within her fading vision, she noticed a figure walking towards her. She grunted just before she saw a gun raised towards her face, violet ink firing out of the nozzle.

* * *

Clustered around a station of machines, a group of Octotroopers busied themselves, checking the screens, feed from cameras filling the normally empty rectangles. Every now and then, they would lean over towards a microphone on the station they were assigned to, ask a question or direct a command, and in return hear out the current state of the troops out in the field. As each one of them worked and worked again as hard as they possibly could for sentient tentacles, one leaned into the microphone, and listened.

Without warning, one of the Octotroopers stood up and called out. "Commander 4U55-13 is finished with dealing with the enemy. They're finished!"

Silence followed. And from that silence, cheers of an epic magnitude rang out through the steel walls as Octarians rejoiced.

Aussie strolled down the metallic hallways of the Octarian base. However, she was not walking alone, as displayed by the poor soul she was bringing along. A knocked out (hopefully) Inkling was dragged along, roughed up, with violet ink covering her. As Aussie marched, she had felt extremely satisfied about the whole ordeal as she took her newfound hostage away. Passing through a room, they eventually came upon a set of iron doors and a collection of rooms blocked off by said doors. There were already a collection of Inklings trapped inside, each huddling closely, most of them donning agent outfits.

Upon noticing her, all of the Inklings trapped within the cells cowered, backing away from the cell doors, though with a glare in their eyes. Aussie simply smirked back. Swiftly, she opened one of the doors and threw the Inkling in, closing it shut immediately.

"Do you miss home, Inklings?" She chuckled, leaving the room, but not before turning back for a brief moment, pausing for a moment, "Good. Now you know how we feel."

As soon as she left their sight, letting a steel door enclose the jailrooms, Aussie grinned, silently cheering.

" _Serves you right, Inkling scum."_ She thought to herself, walking off. _"Poetic justice."_

She took a look around all of a sudden. She scowled, shaking her head in disappointment, seemingly expecting something or someone. However, she had decided to ignore it in lapse of the triumph over the other cephalopod race, walking away from the prison.

* * *

Making her way through the base, a few other Octolings and other Octarian forces would be seen sitting around, each tending to their respective weapons, whether it be a handheld Octoshot or an Octotrooper's mobile platform. Every so often, a handful of the troops would stop what they were doing immediately and salute. The commander felt proud and relaxed as she glanced over the soldiers enlisted.

Up until the point Tai came along. Minding her own business, the younger Octoling passed by Aussie, glanced at her, then started following at her side, Aussie glancing back with a somewhat displeased stare. Despite Tai's original inclusion in the Octoling army seeming promising, Aussie soon found that the lower ranked octopus girl was less than cooperative.

"Hey. How'd the mission go Auss?" Tai asked, "Did-ya krill anyone?"

"Depends. How's guarding the prisoners going?" Aussie asked with a frown.

Tai bit her lip, grinning somewhat. "Aw, it's going great! Thanks for asking! I'm pretty sure NO ONE ESCAPED YET."

Aussie simply rolled her eyes at her colleague. "Really. And here I thought you would be shirking your duties."

"You know me, always on the job." Tai snickered mischievously as they strolled by a handful of other Octarians, who would give them nods of respect as they turned a corner.

"I'm serious, T-41." Aussie spoke up, "One day, you or I could be stranded deep in enemy territory. If you continue to slack off-"

"Listen, no one's gonna even think about going up there. Except you, oh great commander." Tai said.

Soon after saying that, Tai mocked a polite curtsy, snickering as she finished. Aussie simply rolled her eyes and continued walking, Tai following closely behind with her arms stretched out tiredly behind her.

"Well, T-41, I hope you don't mind if I report your little 'coffee break' to our leader then." The Octoling commander told her companion, brushing back the seaweed behind her.

Tai frowned, leaning in. "Then I hope you don't mind if I speak a little... Inkanese."

Aussie grimaced, backing away. "Don't you dare-"

"Berry nice-u, berry berry nice-u, Aussie-chan~" Tai sneered, leaning in to pat her on the face as if she were a housepet, which Aussie certainly did not take lightly, smacking her hand away.

"Do you even KNOW how to speak Inkanese?!" Aussie spoke up with an offended stare.

The other Octoling shrugged, sticking her tongue out at her, already beginning to walk off. "I will never tell!"

Aussie shook her head as Tai turned a corner, and started to find out wherever her leader was, with somewhat of an irritated look on her face as she stomped through the metal halls.

* * *

An ovular table, clear of any mess at all, sat a collection of Octarians of high stature. Some, including an Octosniper who had quite the number of years under his belt, had some form of facial hair. Only, abiding by the loose rules of this universe, with tentacles instead of actual hair. As they waited, Aussie could not help but wonder if it interfered with their vision, until a disc scratching caught her, and most of the others' attention.

"Now, as you are all aware, the Inkling invasions down here have worsened." Octavio spoke up in a booming, sitting by his trademark turntable booth, his tentacles crossed, "A large influx of 'em have been crawling in, splashing nearly everyone with ink. Let's be clear: It ain't good."

A unanimous murmur of agreement rang out through the table of Octarians. Aussie scowled, thinking back to the jail full of squids. It was somewhat disturbing in retrospect, locking away Inklings, never to respawn, or to escape unless splattered across the walls and floors, and even then, they would be revitalized by any active spawnpad. However, it seemed to thin their numbers, so she did not complain.

"Yes, yes. Our troops can't handle anymore. Just the other day, they threw bombs to distract us BEFORE coming in for the kill." As if the thought of the strategy was toxic to the touch, the elderly Octosniper shivered when he finished.

Worried glances were thrown about.

"I agree. This needs to be stopped."

"We can't take much more of this! Our electricity is being exhausted!"

More and more Octarian troops chimed in. Some said they had witnessed Inklings with different weapons. A few babbled on about giant squids running them over. All of them spoke of the Inklings and their cunning yet evil strategies over and over again, shaking in their seats. The Octoling commander would nod occasionally. As the predicament became increasingly apparent to those attending, tensions arose, and so did the volume of the voices.

Eventually, DJ Octavio grasped a green stick of wasabi and raised it towards the turntable. A quick mix of music played for a moment, before scratching out altogether. The short track drew everyone's attention towards their leader, whose eyes were shut tight.

Under the cross-shaped scar, Octavio's eyes opened, glaring. "...How much power do we have remaining?"

"We're losing watts by the second. Gigawatts if they take all of the Zapfish. They're taking them faster than we can nab them. It doesn't look good." An Octoling spoke up, garbed in a lab coat, "Not just electricity, all of our supplies are dwindling. Food, water, everything."

Silently, Octavio mulled over the facts with a blank glare, the room filled with silence. He closed his eyes once more.

"...Turn off the respawn pads." His voice echoed throughout the room.

The uproar grew in intensity slowly but surely, from whispers, to discussions, to panicked protests.

"You're joking right?!"

"We have countless Octarians on the front lines-"

"My cousin is out there right now!"

A more harsh tone silenced them. The records on the turntable clattered about, making scratching noises left and right. They settled down slowly as Octavio could only stare at them with an almost nervous gaze. For a while, no words came from anyone, and the only sound that could be heard was the music playing in an incomplete loop.

Aussie was hardly astounded. Inklings, she was convinced, wanted nothing but war. They were constantly on the rise to power, popularity and prestige always on their minds. That was why they took their land. A few sacrifices were necessary for ending this war, that was certain. ...This neverending war.

Eventually, the music paused. Octopus big and small stared at Octavio, worry clouding their faces.

"We're not turning them off just to conserve electricity." The leader of the Octarians explained slowly, "We're losing precious resources. Food is scarcer than good music these days."

One Octoling coughed, something about "Being in the wrong generation" which prompted a few chuckles from her peers. One glare from Aussie ensued that laughing would cease.

Octavio continued. "Food and water are scarce. Our troops are hardly getting the protein they deserve. Neither do our… Prisoners."

Unease continued at the mention of the Inklings held in captivity. They knew they had been here for a while. They could hear a few try to comfort one another in the dead of night, the sobs, the… Attempts to escape that usually ended up in one needing a bandage wrapped around their head. Unfortunately, to keep the Inklings here without respawning, keeping them from dying was one of the main issues. They would complain about their empty stomachs almost constantly. But only then did it hit them.

"...4U55-13." Octavio cleared his throat.

Aussie perked up, looking across the table. "Yes sir?"

"You have your Octoshot handy?" He stared at her, almost regretful of what was about to happen.

"...Yes sir." Aussie nodded, pushing her seat out from the table.

"Turn off the respawn pads for a few minutes, tell ." Octavio ordered, hardly looking at any of the Octarians frightfully scurrying off, "I assume you know what must be done?"

She stared down at the holstered ink gun at her side. Across her belt, it was a shiny ornament filled with fuchsia. But on the battlefield, it was a weapon.

The commander gripped her Octoshot. "...With all due haste."

Without a word, Octavio nodded, and Aussie began filing out, the other Octarians watching as their commander left the meeting room with almost blank stares. Walking outside, she was not sure if the clunking behind her was a result of the door shutting or if she felt the impact of one of her hearts drop into her stomach like a rock. It was disgusting, her impending crime, she knew that. But had it not been for the new sensation of dread that washed over her, she might not have heard the footsteps running across the hall across from her.

Aussie looked up, and saw a fleeting pair of Octoling Boots depart down the corner. The corner that lead to the prisoners. Her eyes went wide underneath her goggles. She found herself running. Faster and faster. Wanting to catch up with those fleeting pair of legs. As she turned the corner, she stopped.

For a moment, she and Tai glanced at each other as she made way for the jail, a keycard firmly grasped in her hand. Just before Tai disappeared, Aussie could have sworn she had apologized. But in Inkanese.

Aussie grit her octopus beak. Whatever she had said, the fact that it was almost one-hundred percent off was enough to annoy her. Annoy her enough that she took up her Octoshot, and set her sights on her younger companion.

* * *

AN: I want to apologize both for the delay and the cliffhanger. Hawaii is actually kind of a nightmare. The turtles there only come up to the sand for five seconds before they ditch you. Rude.

Yes, this is another "In the past" chapter. Why don't any of the Octarians lock away Inklings? Certainly a lot better than just mindlessly splatting them over and over again. So this happened.

But anyways, enough of that, let's get right into those reviews, shall we? Thanks write n wrong and kedak for reviewing!

Yes indeed, running, just like Joseph Joestar write n wrong. Or like Monster Hunter Khezus when you don't have shock-proof armor equipped.

kedak, as much as I'd want to sweep it under the rug and say it was a writing mistype, it was more of a mistake on my end solely because of that tiny plot hole with the skeletons I set myself up for. I'll try and see if I can avoid those in the future, thanks for noticing.

But anyways, thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, Hawaii was like if a burger and a pizza was to be ordered at the same time for your dining pleasure.

...Good I guess. But you might regret it upon returning to your home.

That made no sense but I'm rolling with it.


	49. Tai's First Great Mistake

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

" **You let them go."**

Up until this point, Tai hardly considered herself a runner. Not at all, really. She was too lazy to get up early, resulting in scalding words courtesy of Aussie. She was scolded on the athletic abilities needed to properly serve in the army. She would always shrug it off, hoping to pacify Aussie's nagging by promising that one day, she would indeed, start training seriously, and Aussie would go off every time muttering something about how she had better.

Now that she WAS running seriously for once, she might have found it somewhat liberating, refreshing even, to feel the rush of the run. But the fact that Aussie cursed at her every corner she turned was hardly any supportive incentive. At every corner, at every doorway she turned in an attempt to lose her naggy superior, it only seemed to worsen as she gained speed. Tai began sweating, not of physical fatigue, but because her endurance for Aussie's arguments thrown at her was wearing thin.

Her voice echoed throughout the base whenever Tai managed to turn a corner, and even then Aussie was right back on her trail, scolding her choices. "...There's no point in trying to help them, they'll just stab you in the back! Inklings are-"

So on and so forth she spoke, and so on and so forth did Tai not care, as she had heard it at least a million times beforehand. However, had she stopped then and there to retaliate, she probably would have been tackled and taken out. Her superior officer was a prude, but heck, if she was strong at the very least. She clutched the keycard in her hands. The doors to the prison itself were simple and automatic; the doors of the prison cells required authorization. Of course, it was hard enough with some bossy woman pursuing her, but what would be even harder was convincing them that escape was possible.

Aussie, on the other hand, had no idea what Tai was up to. She had known her as less than altruistic most of the time, mostly just hanging out at the base, waiting for the eventual mission call. But this was unprecedented! It was worrying, an Octoling going against the status quo. No matter how annoying she could get, how downright childish she could be, the very last thing Aussie wanted her friend to do was ruin her own life by doing something stupid.

So the two ran through the Octarian base, two different drives motivating them to get to that prison before anyone else. This would prove more than hazardous for practically everyone else. Crowding the hall ahead of them, a group of different Octarian forces, Octotroopers, Octocopters, Octolings, octopus of every variety marched through the narrow hallway, weapons holstered at their sides. Tai grunted, shifting into an octopus in an instant, diving in the pile of tentacles ahead of her. Swiveling throughout the ground, she cause a few Octolings to jump up in surprise, the confused foot soldiers taking up arms, glancing at the ground nervously. As Aussie gained on her, she stared up at the ceiling. Octocopters above were just as bewildered by the commotion. In the midst of all that chaos, Aussie leaped up, grabbing onto one of the Octocopters, which spun around in fright. She continued forward, hopping from 'copter to 'copter, until she found herself on the other side of the mob, landing on the floor with an audible clang, briefly turning around to give an apologetic wave to the scrambling troops, before making haste for Tai once more-

"Slam!" Tai spoke up, a door heading for Aussie's face in an instant.

"What the-"

Slam went the door as Aussie felt herself being launched back, hitting the metal walls. She groaned, one eye staring back at Tai.

Tai looked back, grinning. "Sorry! Gotta get going!"

Making it up to her feet, Aussie adjusted her goggles somewhat, and spat a gob of violet-red ink out of her mouth. She stretched her arms for a moment, then took off with a glint of violence in her eyes.

* * *

Sprinting through the base for a few more minutes, eventually, Tai came across the gloomy violet door that served as the entrance into the prison. Taking a cautionary glance behind her, she breathed in a sigh of relief, entering the room. As soon as she entered, she was greeted with glares and grumbles.

"Relax, guys." Tai spoke up, placing one hand on her hip as she raised the other, the keycard proudly displayed.

The tension between the cephalopods dissipated almost instantaneously, and the Octoling holding the card smiled as she heard the doors clatter when the Inklings slammed into them.

"Tai, you're an angel." One of the females said, giving her a watery, yet glad face.

"Nice work!" One of the others spoke up.

Tai beamed proudly. "Yeah, well, it wasn't easy. I had to get past Auss and-"

"AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T, T-41!"

She grunted as Aussie tackled her head on, the two of them landing on the floor. Gritting her teeth, Tai opened one eye, noticing as the red Octoling began unholstering her weapon, aiming the nozzle of the Octoshot down at her companion, violet lights glaring down at Tai. She struggled to get to her feet, but Aussie had none of that, pressing the barrel further into her face.

"T-41, any further and I'll have to shoot you." Aussie told her.

Blinking back boredly, Tai tapped the top of the nozzle. "Uh huh. Do it then."

Freezing up, Aussie glared back. "What?!"

"I wanna see you try. Pretty sure these guys would like to as well." Tai yawned, pointing towards the Inklings staring back, fear etched in their faces.

Turning from the Inklings back to Tai, Aussie snarled, "Don't test me." As she said that, she fired one shot onto Tai's arm, a chorus of gasps escaping from their captive audience.

For a short while, Tai stared back at Aussie, almost in disbelief. The facade of shock was thrown to the side when Tai shook her arm, in turn rubbing the ink off easily. Aussie's eye twitched beneath her goggles as nervous giggles followed from the cells.

"Ohhhhh, how painful. Auss, how could you…?" Tai asked melodramatically, raising her non-injured arm over her head, closing her eyes as if she were on death's door.

"Cut the bullship, Tai." Aussie coughed, embarrassedly getting up to her feet, "Why are you trying to free these captives?"

"Here's another question," Tai said, getting up to her feet, "Why are you trying to splat these guys? I heard all of it. Granted, most of it was just… Boring, but I know for a fact you want to execute these people."

Aussie frowned. "It's us or them, Tai."

"Yeah, I can't believe that. I know for a fact that my mom-" Tai began, trailing off slowly.

Aussie cocked an eyebrow at her, but almost as soon as the reference to her mother began, Tai shook her head, staring right back at Aussie.

"Nevermind. Point is, I'm not letting you shoot them." She said, staring at Aussie.

The hesitation from before plagued Aussie's mind as she fumbled with her gun. "...Move out of the way, Tai."

"If you shoot, I'm going to use the keycard." She glared back at the commander, "I'll block the ink and let them go."

"If you block the ink, I'll just throw you to the ground." Aussie spoke up, staring back at her.

For a moment, the Inklings stared in awe at the confrontation. There was a spark about to ignite a bonfire here, and they knew it. Tai would make cautionary looks at the wall, where an indentation the size of a card remained. Aussie kept her eyes on the other Octoling, not a muscle moved.

"...It isn't fair to shoot them now." Tai glared, "If you're going to do that, it'll be out in one of the kettles."

Without her goggles wrapped around her face, Aussie could see Tai's green and violet eyes clearly. They were filled with a new fire, a determination that she had never found in Tai ever before. It was awesome in a way, and thanks to that awe, Aussie lowered her weapon for a split-second. As she saw Tai eyeing her gun, she immediately realized her mistake, and raised her gun again.

"FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM!"

"Blagh!" She cried out as a stampede of squids ran over her, with Tai running behind.

On the floor, a violet red octopus groaned, a round, purple head dizzily looking towards a door. A herd of squids dashed away, past disorientated guards, with an Octoling leading them off as dust clouded the halls. Aussie reverted back into Octoling form, readjusted her goggles once more, and took off after them.

* * *

One by one, an Inkling popped out of a kettle, gleefully running off through Octo Valley back towards Inkopolis, shouting words of supreme thanks to Tai as they ran off. She stood by the entrance of the kettle, with a hint of pride on her lips. Eventually, the very last Inkling made it out; a roughed up, female Inkling stared at Tai for a while, before enveloping her in a hug, shocking Tai somewhat.

"Thank you." She spoke, before dashing away, joining the others.

Sighing, Tai leaned back on the kettle entrance. After a while, a rattling noise attracted her attention, and she mentally braced herself as another octopus hopped out of the grates of the kettle, a plume of steam rising out of the side.

"You let them go." Aussie spoke up, "You actually let them go."

"Yep." Tai nodded, glancing at Auss, "You're getting slow in your old age Auss. We could've had a picnic and still been ahead of you by a mile."

"First, a one-year age difference does not grant you the permission to call me old. Second, I was late because I had to notify him that the prisoners escaped."

The younger Octoling bit her lip, then sighed, walking off. "Aw, geez Auss… Mom's gonna be inked off to see me back home after being expelled from the force."

Aussie glanced at the sky. "...I never told him who released the prisoners."

Stopping mid-stride, Tai turned back, where Aussie had her arms crossed, yet could not look at Tai directly. Across from Tai, she looked just as bossy as ever. Yet somehow, she was forgiving. Tai could not believe her eyes or ears. Here she was, sweeping the incident under the rug akin to a student covering up for another one to prevent expulsion. But for Tai, it just meant that she herself had got Auss to calm down and stop trying so hard.

"However." Aussie spoke up, glaring back at Tai, "Because there are now more Inklings in the force, I fully expect you to finally start training to deal with the Inkling menace if we are to stand a chance at winning this war."

Standing on the soft dirt, she smiled and shrugged, moving back towards the kettle. "Sure thing, Auss."

Tai walked back to the kettle slowly and leisurely, dropping through the grates quickly enough. She could only laugh as Aussie followed in after her, with one last remark for the day.

"If you don't, I'll kick your sorry butt out myself."

* * *

AN: Of course, after that, we still have not explained Chi, have we? Well, I'll get back to you on that. I'm thinking of putting a priority on "The Drafted Squid", another Splatoon story based around the Great Turf War before I come back to this one. So, yeah, sorry, I might be taking a break on this one. Not a hiatus like my TF2 story, heavens no, but updates might be slower.

Ignoring that note, let's take a look at the reviews. Thanks Ultrapyre and write n wrong for reviewing!

I'd think that the reason that Octarians have not been seen with prisoners before (besides Cap'n Cuttlefish) is because that might prove a bit too dark. Or perhaps it hasn't been considered Ultrapyre. Thanks.

write n wrong, thanks, glad I got Aussie's personality another chance to shine.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to work on Phish's story.


	50. The 50th Chapter Milestone! gg

**This chapter's idea was brought to you by Dread Angel. 50% Dread, 50% Angel at your local pharmacy.**

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **serutnevdA 'srehtorB etaB ehT (The 50th Chapter)**

Maria woke up swimmingly, opening her eyes, greeted by two pairs of brown eyes and blue tentacles. She sighed, sitting up on her bed, stretching her arms and legs.

"Morning you two." She waved, yawning.

"Morning Maria!" Splin piped up with a grin, adjusting his headphones.

Next to him, Sharq gave a simple smile and a wave, the two walking over towards the kitchen already. Blinking, Maria got to her feet, hopping off of her bed. For a brief moment, she took the time to glance out of the windows at the sun outside. She was immediately disappointed when clouds obscured the skies. Still, if the oddities and past memories of the world she now dwelled in were any indication, it was going to be quite the day regardless of weather.

Maria pursed her lips, however, with little plans there was not much she could say about today. Still, she thought it over, staring at the two across from her. They seemed to be already making towards the stove, with Splin handling a pan. Awaiting breakfast, she walked away from her bed towards the kitchen.

"Be careful with that pan. You know what happened to the eggs last time." Sharq spoke up, staring across at his brother.

Upon hearing that, all Splin seemed to do was shrug, the pan firmly grasped in his hand. "Relax. I've got a firm grip in my hand. He said so him- Whoopsie."

Slipping out of Splin's hand, the pan smashed into a batch of eggs laid out on the counter by the white refrigerator. The eggs, or the remnants to be precise, were now splattered on the side of the fridge, Splin simply smiling awkwardly, taking a nearby towel and switching to squid form, scrubbing using his tentacles. Frowning, Maria cocked an eyebrow suspiciously.

" _That's weird. Sharq's usually the one who blunders the food."_ She hummed, but shrugged, thinking little of it, "Need a hand Splin?"

Blinking, Sharq appeared to turn around for a split second, then turned back, pretending as if he had not heard at all. Maria could distinctly hear him clearing his throat, and as if he were a robot just switched on, Splin perked up, shaking his head with a sheepish grin.

"No, it's fine! Thanks Maria." Splin shrugged, scrubbing harder, his squid brow collecting sweat already.

After a while, it seemed like Splin's battle with the egg splatter was extremely one sided, with the food being the victor. Sighing, Splin switched back into Inkling form, setting the white-covered rag back on the counter.

"Well, I give up. Hey, um, Sharq?" Splin asked, attracting the other's attention.

Looking up, Sharq frowned, his Takoroka Mesh getting in the way. Tilting his hat up slightly, he arched one of his eyebrows, silently signaling that he was all ears.

Splin grinned, already starting for the door. "Let's go outside, huh? We can pick breakfast up somewhere!"

Biting his lip, Sharq glanced over at the part of the fridge that had pieces of yellow and white stuck to it. Considering his relative's poor skills in cooking, it was almost a no-brainer for him to choose an alternative. Standing up, he nodded, and the two began walking out, waving to Maria as they left. Maria simply waved back, but could not help but feel some form of suspicion in her gut. Stealthily switching into a lime squid, she made her way outside, proning throughout the grass, keeping an eye on the brothers as they themselves transformed into small blue squids.

"Last one there's a rotten egg!" Splin announced, preparing to jet off.

Sharq sighed. "I sincerely hope you fall on your face, Sharq."

"And I hope you- Uh… Fall on yours, Splin!" Splin-

"Wait a minute, what?" Maria blinked, staring at the two.

But before Maria could leave and ask them like a normal person, the two brothers jet off into the sky with a burst of blue following them. Staring out at the great azure sky, she watched as they departed into the distance. With a swift step, Maria dashed back into the house, looked about, and started searching, reverting back to Inkling form in the process. Through her search, she stumbled over the alarm clock, Ann-Gel, and a coffee mug, all irritated. Well, the coffee mug seemed rather content with being shattered across the floor, but the others stirred restlessly.

"Aw, Maria!" Ann-Gel rubbed her head, groaning.

Maria uttered a quick apology before searching and searching. Eventually, she grinned, and raised a disgruntled cube in the air, which slowly blared to life, shining throughout the house. There was definitely something up with the brothers, and Maria was definitely sure she knew what was going on.

"Tele-Cube!" She spoke up, tapping on the top restlessly.

Finally loaded and finally peeved, metallic hands stretched out of the cube and slapped Maria's hands away. She yielded, holding both of her hands up in an attempt to pacify the cube's outrage. Then she realized why she had found the cube, and began growing angry herself.

"Wait a minute, I'm the one doing the interrogating here! Cube, I know what game you're playing at." Maria frowned, glaring straight at the cube.

"..." The cube responded with an electric, confused hum.

Gripping the cube like a maniac, she stared directly into its… Eyes? Whatever she was doing, it was unnerving the onlookers, who walked, or slid away.

"Splin screwing up the food? Sharq shooting a retort. It's pretty clear what's going on here." Maria crossed her arms, "There was an accident involving you."

A chirp that somehow translated into, "Did I do that?" was beeped by the cube, which the squid mother simply nodded at.

"Yes. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I definitely know it happened. You…

SWAPPED THEIR BODIES."

While still debatable, Tele-Cube's eyes started drifting elsewhere, as if looking for an audience to shrug at, had it attained arms in which to shrug with. The other objects began moving away quicker, with Ann-Gel whispering something about emergency numbers. The broken mug simply laid broken, acting cool and collected.

Scoffing, Maria simply tossed the cube away after the period of silence, with a groan. "I can't believe this. I'm just going to have to find them myself and fix this… Somehow. ...Without attracting too much attention, hopefully. Can't imagine it would be too good for their self-image," She pondered aloud, one hand on her cheeks.

She then shook her head. "What am I saying?"

There was something up. Splin and Sharq's appearances were all there. Brown eyes, blue tentacles, tannish skin. The headphones, cap, their Anchor Tees of opposite colors, and their shoes were the same. But they were speaking as if they had swapped spirits. With all that said and done and with that on her mind, Maria dashed out of the house, and destroyed the hinges of the doors inadvertently, leaving two awestruck objects watching as she leaped into the sky, squishy squid head first. That left Ann-Gel and the alarm clock in the home. Sighing, Ann-Gel gestured to a still gawking digital clock.

"C'mon clock, we have our work cut out for us." She spoke up, glancing towards the doors and the cup in pieces, resting in peace.

Somewhere above them, a cube screeched as it clashed into a handful of seagulls, finding itself eventually landing in a garbage dump by Inkopolis. But until then, it would be a long fall, and a lot of irritation.

* * *

Maria landed in a street, rubbing her head. The trip through the sky had been quick, and the subsequent crater she made was certainly something. Not to mention the threat of something, she was not sure what, going wrong, was intimidating And the car speeding towards her was also something. Something that threatened to flatten her.

"Look out!" A female voice called.

Still in the midst of shaking her head, Maria hardly noticed as a colorful pink and green automobile hopped over her, but from behind, the squid mother could make out another Inkling wearing a pink and black costume, flailing about in her car, screaming in terror as she flew. Blinking, Maria stood up, retaining her humanoid Inkling form with a sigh, dusting herself off as she ignored the bizarre anomaly. Searching around in the middle of the street, she noticed a pair of blue tentacled Inklings leaving from an ever familiar restaurant, with ever familiar staff waving them off. At the head, "Sharq", or at least the one in his skin, waved goodbye, with "Splin" leaving him in the dust. Maria's eyes shot open, and she began her chase.

Willie and Zip waved from the inside of Oahu, as the brothers walked off. Just before they could re-enter the restaurant, Maria stopped them, simultaneously smudging up a glass door with her hands and face.

"Zoinks!" Willie gasped, leaping up into Zip's arms in squid form, wrapping around her neck as if by instinct.

Zip scowled, brushing her mate of of her. "Uh-oh. Pela's not going to like it when she see's this. That's another hour of cleaning."

"Oh man, this day just keeps getting better." Willie gulped, hopping out of her grip.

However, no mere glass can stop Maria. Glancing to the side, she had already lost the brothers. Groaning, she turned to the couple.

"Excuse me, did you two happen to catch where they went?" She asked them quickly.

"Hmm." Willie blinked, "Well, after Music Man devoured most of the food we had prepared, took about twenty minutes-"

Zip shook her head with a sigh. "Which Splin devoured in two minutes…"

"He and Shadey left, and boy was Splin excited to play a Turf War. Like, serious excitement. Sharq didn't seem too hype, though…" Willie adjusted his glasses, frowning.

Maria nodded swiftly, "Alright, Turf Wars, thanks!"

A trail of dust was kicked up in Maria's sprint, prompting the couple to shut the doors, shielding the interior from debris.

"I'm surprised, she really knows how to run." Zip whistled, watching her move.

"I'm surprised Pela allowed us to take such a long break." Willie remarked, answered with a spoon smacking him in the face, "Ow!"

"Break's over! Back to the kitchen, loverboy." A voice called from behind them, prompting Willie to groan, stuffing his hands in his chef uniform's pockets as Zip followed behind, patting him on the back with a chuckle.

* * *

Upon entering the plaza, Maria did a sweep around with her eyes. On the left side of the Booyah Base, the shrimp salesman, Crusty Sean, tied one of his many pairs of shoelaces, setting off on a morning jog. Aside from that, activity in the plaza was low, with very little Inkling activity. Even Spyke's tapping on his rug was slower. Frowning, Maria began walking towards the tower under the sleepy gaze of the Great Zapfish, making her way to the doors.

"Make way, make way! For Ari Jabin has arr-"

Ari's orange tentacles and tanned face proved to be too much for the impatient Maria, who clutched the pair of tentacles on her head, stuffing her face in the lime green tendrils, and screamed muffled scream of frustration. Ari's grand entrance faltered to that of a stare, a gawk at Maria. Through the duration of her venting, his cousin approached from behind him, Sari glancing over at the overreacting lime Inkling with the same weirded out stare.

Ari pursed his lips. "Perhaps I should dial my entrances back for the women, don't you think?"

Sari leaned back on the walls of the tower, "I don't think it has to do with attraction, Ari."

"'You never know until you try', like mother says." Ari smirked, nodding to himself

The other orange-clad Inkling shrugged, to which the ever arrogant and prideful Inkling just waved off, walking over towards Maria.

"Miss Maria! I couldn't help but notice your…" He stared at the lime tentacles now sticking to Maria's face, "Condition. Never fear, for Ari, I, the great-"

"Right!" Maria's tentacles flung off her face all of a sudden, startling the teenager, and placed her tentacles on his shoulders, "You're Splin and Sharq's friend."

To that, Ari scoffed. "Friend? You mean rival of epic proportions!"

In response to Ari's own, harrowing remark, Maria just glanced over to his cousin. Sari, leaning back on the wall, just gave another shrug.

"Sooo…" She turned back to Ari, "You know where they are?"

"...No." Ari admitted, but grinned immediately afterwards, pulling out a cellphone from his right shorts pocket, surprising Maria, "But I know someone who might!"

* * *

In the dark recesses of Octo Valley, two Octolings trudged under a cloud of darkness, with only a solitary pair of purple lights on one of their faces glowing. They made haste, though the goggleless one was less so than her subordinate.

"Tai, watch yourself." Aussie spoke as she walked, keeping a close eye on the path ahead, "This place hasn't seen too many Octarians recently. You need to take extreme caution, pay attention to every twist and turn. One wrong step-"

A rapid chiming practically spooked the wits out of the commander. Glancing behind with a furious face, she noticed Tai with an object planted by her face underneath the violet tentacle covering her right ear, the light illuminating her face.

"What the carp Tai?!" Aussie hissed in a whispering tone, watching as Tai took her sweet time.

Tai held one index finger up in a shushing manner, only irritating Aussie more and more.

"No," Aussie glared, "I will not be quiet! Where did you get that Inkling communication device?!"

Clamping her hands on the phone she held, Tai rolled her eyes at Aussie. "It's called a cell phone, granny. Hang on."

The two remained stationary, but not without several questions from the red Octoling, who continually probed at Tai: "Where did you get that?", "How are you talking from HERE?!", and "Can you move your butt?! We need to GO!"

Eventually, Tai answered with a "No", and Aussie felt like wrenching the phone out of her hands, confiscating it by force. Shortly afterwards, Tai uttered a "Bye", tossing the phone away, where it clattered among the darkness. The other Octoling's mouth gaped open, Tai standing there with a comatose stare, eventually placing her hands on her hips as the two looked at one another, albeit with different, not great emotions.

"What the shell Tai?!" Aussie asked, keeping her hands inches away from Tai's throat.

"He asked if I knew where Splin and Sharq were. I said no." She stated simply, the grinned, "Then asked me out to another date. I swear, the guy's so-"

Aussie's voice ignored the melancholy atmosphere and rose up to an eleven so to speak. "NO! Why did you toss the phone away?! If something DID happen, we could need it!"

"I wasn't getting good reception down here. Didn't need it." Tai shrugged.

Drips of water echoed throughout the cavern, but Aussie's searing rage was generating noise all by itself. Tai rolled her eyes, walking forward through the darkness, passing by her superior.

"Well? We going or what? If we hurry, might be able to find a phone booth in there."

Thus, a new chase ensued, with the cackling of a normally dormant Octoling followed by the sound of fire sizzling.

* * *

"Hmm." Ari frowned, tapping the phone, nothing coming through the other end but silence, "Well, I hope that answers your- Hey!"

Already, Maria had Super Jumped away, and was nothing more than a speck in the sky. The two relatives in orange stared as she passed through a cloud, and was gone.

"I didn't get to ask for any reward." Ari frowned, crossing his arms.

"Eh, I'm sure you'll get it next time Ari." Sari spoke up, patting her cousin on the back, who could only nod in disappointment.

* * *

Hitting the top of the roof by a smashed Squid Beakon, Maria sluggishly got to her feet. Already feeling horrible for her supposed failure, she switched back into squid form, dropping on the trapdoor, letting herself roll down the stairs lazily, not sure how she would feel with having to refer to the two without thorough confusion upon doing so.

"Splin! Stop using the pay-to-win characters!" Sharq complained, tilting his Gamepad to and fro, lifting his Takoroka Mesh up somewhat.

Splin smirked, glancing at his brother, flicking his headphones, listening to the sounds of the game. "Racing character DLC is in no way pay-to-win. You just need to get good."

Maria's eyes shot open for the second time. A crowd of Inkling and object clustered around the television, watching the brothers compete. For a while, all Maria could do was stare. There they were. Splin was acting like Splin, and Sharq was acting like Sharq. She coughed once, and suddenly everyone turned around, the music from the video game pausing as well.

"Oh, hi again Maria!" Sharq waved happily.

Maria waved back, noticing that there was a somewhat dirty and irritated cube sitting by him, with a wary amiibo and alarm clock sticking by it.

"...Something wrong?" Splin asked, tilting his head, "You've looked like you've seen a ghost. Which, really, isn't that far off in this universe."

Sharq snickered. "Splin's right! You don't have to stand there, silly! We can make room if you want."

Blinking, Maria just smiled, descending from the stairs, now in her humanoid form. "Oh, it's alright. I'll just… Lie down here."

The lime green Inkling walked towards the kitchen. As she did so, Sharq's ecstatic attitude went to bewildered. Her tentacles were scraggly and roughed-up, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears, but happy tears for the most part. The final kicker commenced; Maria approached the kitchen, flopping down on the main table, and curled up into a confused, tired, and glad ball, while everyone stared, and immediately decided on a consensus:

Find out what the heck is up with Maria.

" _What just happened?"_

* * *

Earlier that day.

Splin and Sharq were wide awake, and while the crack of dawn was yet upon them, they were staring straight at a shut off television screen, wondering about life. Or something.

"...Hey Splin?" Sharq asked, his blue tentacles flowing down his exposed head.

Splin reacted slowly, answering with a simple "Muh?"

Sharq grinned. "Don't we look kinda similar?"

"Yeah. What about it?" Splin blinked, yawning, careful not to awake Maria or any other sentient being in the house.

For a while, Sharq snickered, only confusing Splin more. Reaching at the side, Sharq picked up his hat, placing it on Splin's head.

"...Uh…Huh." Splin adjusted the cap, frowning, "Look, if you want to say something, just say it Sharq."

"Dude! You look just like me!" Sharq blinked, grinning proudly, "Lend me your headphones really quick!"

With a shrug, Splin lifted the Takoroka Mesh, retrieving his Designer Headphones, letting Sharq borrow them. Snuggly fitting them on his ears, Sharq sighed, and the two stared at each other for a moment.

"...Oh dear. Is this what you…?" Splin began, to which Sharq nodded happily.

"It'll be fun!" Sharq announced, albeit silently as not to disturb anyone.

Splin frowned and shook his head. "Brother, with all due respect, this is probably the worst idea you've had." Sharq pouted across from him, "It's pointless, and besides, you're a year older than me. There's still a height difference."

Standing up, Sharq marched up to a wooden wall of the house, again, with silent intentions, and stood up straight. "Here, now." He pointed to the space next to him.

Sighing, Splin walked up and over towards him, and the two stood shoulder to shoulder with each other, the two taking off their headgear. Grinning, Sharq placed on hand on his head, then slowly hovered said hand over and on Splin's, who sighed.

"Eh?" Sharq grinned at Splin.

"...This is even more embarrassing when we went to that inkslide park for our birthday." Splin groaned, helplessly staring at the floor.

With a reassuring smile, Sharq simply hugged his younger brother. "Aw, don't be like that man. Hey, you've grown a bit since then, a lot taller than the little squid I had to take care of!"

"Sometimes I wonder which one of us took care of whom." Splin shook his head.

Thus, the two planned their harmless scheme, turning in for the night, with high hopes for the morning when it came. So forth did the chapter unfold.

"...Not sure why I needed to know that, voice." Splin frowned, glancing at the ceiling as he entered his bed.

Not you, go to sleep.

He did not argue, drifting off to the dreamland express.

* * *

AN: Fifty whole chapters of squids. Thanks everyone. Now, with that being said, I think I'll take a break from this story. Yeah yeah, I know, "Not this again", "I just got back from Hawaii", "Chi hasn't been explored at all yet! Neither have a bunch of other characters you pleb!".

Actually I think those are just my own complaints.

Nevertheless, for the sake of my sanity, I think I'll stick to working on three stories at a time, thank you. The Drafted Squid will be high on my priority list, I wanna see if I can really experiment with Phish's story, maybe expand some horizons, probably add a villain who actually accomplishes something in this universe, eh?

But enough planning, let's get into those reviews. Thanks write n wrong for reviewing!

That's always been Aussie, huh? Professional, but with a hint of ordinary friend in her among her companions. Always a pleasure knowing I wrote a character to someone's liking.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I'll be sure to work on Chi the Rebel someday!


	51. End of the Festivals

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **End to the Festivals**

"Ladies, gentlemen, I have dire news. As of late, Splatfests are on the decline. I don't know why, I don't know how. But I will ask this… Which team are you picking?"

Splin and Sharq sat in a room nearly devoid of any furnishings in the slightest. They glanced around the barren room sitting on folding chairs, Splin listening to music through his headphones, staring across the room with a frown, while Sharq bobbed his legs up and down blissfully without a care in the world.

"...Rivals?"

Splin frowned, a hand on his cheek. "Ari, don't you think you're grasping for straws here?"

Standing on a seat, higher than the two other Inklings in the room, Ari glared down at Splin accusingly. "Preposterous! This is a matter of emergency here! The final Splatfest, the last attempt at fame and glory!"

"Uh-huh… Why did you call US here if you wanted to talk about Splatfests?" Splin arched an eyebrow.

Ari smirked, descending from his own chair. "Why? Simple, because I believe you two to be rather esteemed Turf War veterans if you were able to survive my past challenges."

All of a sudden, Sharq sneezed, with him and the chair tipping over as a result, the older brother staring back up in a squid form, staring back at Ari. Fixing his seat, Sharq reverted to an Inkling form, sitting back down.

" _Also because this place is getting scrapped later."_ Ari thought to himself, glancing at the somewhat ruined walls, then turned back towards the brothers, "Listen! Without Splatfests, I'll lose a chance to earn fame and glory!"

"How so?" Sharq asked, leaning on his chair.

"Well, for one, there's always a chance to snag a potential soulmate…" Ari winked, bobbing his eyebrows up and down.

"Hey! What about Tai?" Sharq huffed, arms crossed in disapproval.

Blinking, Ari just grinned sheepishly. "Well… Figuratively speaking… If she were to… Ditch me, as implausible as that sounds…"

While not technically the brightest bulb in the box, Sharq knew stress and anxiety when he saw it. After all, he lives with Splin. Who, at this moment, is glaring towards the ceiling irritably, shutting his ears with obscure music references probably. Swiftly dashing over towards Ari, he pat him on the back once, hanging his arm around the other Inkling's shoulder.

"Don't worry! If I know Tai, she's probably mooning over you right now, thinking of how great you are!" Sharq suggested, giving him yet another friendly pat on the back.

Ari blinked, turning towards his rival. "...Hmm. Intriguing."

While Ari was almost thoroughly convinced, Splin on the other hand was much less so."Sharq, that is literally the opposite of what she'd-"

Over the orange Inkling's shoulder, the older Bate Brother glared straight at Splin, cutting him off. He made a shushing noise with one finger in front of his lips, simultaneously providing Ari's ego with a chance to prosper. With an equally silent sigh, Splin returned to his seat, removing the headphones from his ears, preferring the noise of construction vehicles moving closer in the background.

* * *

Following the drill, Tai walked through a deserted hallway with her superior officer Aussie accompanying her, striding through a seemingly abandoned section of Octarian architecture. Whistling, Tai glanced from wall to wall, her footsteps echoing practically throughout the entire realm with the silence and occasional drips of water backing the noise up. Eventually, she got bored, a devilish smirk crossing her face as she glanced at Aussie.

"Yo, Auss." She spoke up, attracting her attention.

Knowing Tai for quite a few years now, Aussie was hardly prone to suggestions anymore with her around. It was probably just a dumb request meant to fill her amusement in a short time frame. With that in mind, she turned towards Tai, ready to give her a piece of her mind.

"So, if an Octoling and an Inkling were to meet alone, is it possible they could, you know." She asked, winking once, then again and again until the point was practically bludgeoned.

Aussie's face immediately contorted into that of terror. Staring at a Tai, who, while with an innocent enough mien was laughing her butt off on the inside. She halted, doing nothing but staring.

"Hey, I'm just saying. If one was to sleep with an Inkling, would it be uncomfortable to-" Tai started.

"I'm over vomiting. That's done, that is finished." She glared at Tai, "I'm also through with you and your innuendos! For Cod's sake Tai, I thought it was bad enough when you butchered Inkanese."

Tai blinked for a second, shaking her head. "I don't know what you mean."

"You- YOU don't know what you're implying?!" Aussie asked, flabbergasted, nearly flinging her goggles off her face and out a decayed window, crimson eyes glaring at Tai as if she were detecting a distasteful joke.

"Look, I just wanna know if my tentacles are going to get in the way of his sleep, and if I should trim them or something so that they don't block his breathing. Again, figuratively speaking. No clue how it would work." The younger Octoling spoke up, with a smug, yet somewhat innocent expression.

Aussie's eye twitched, slowly being covered by her mask as she covered her face once more, the mask glowing violet. "...Put some pillows in between you, I don't care."

As Aussie walked off fed up, Tai called after her, "Now, about bedroom intimacy-", which spiraled into yet another period of agony for the dear old Octoling commander.

* * *

"Alright, well, I appreciate your rousing attempts at cheering me up rival, but you still have not answered my question. It is imperative to know which one you will choose." Ari spoke up in a "matter-of-fact" tone.

"What are we choosing again?" Sharq asked, starting back for his seat.

Ari smirked. "Which Squid Sister do you prefer?"

Blinking, Sharq frowned, staring up at the ceiling. "Hmm… I dunno. Seems like it would be a tough decision."

"...Er, hey…" Splin spoke up, glancing elsewhere.

"Perhaps someone with a bubbly attitude is right up your alley, am I right?" Ari asked, nudging Sharq with his elbow.

"I dunno. I think that would be weird." Sharq admitted, bewildering Ari.

The sounds of vehicles revving up approached from outside, with a very concerned looking Splin glancing back at the two debating pop stars, ignorant to the noise. Splin bit his lip, staring out a small rectangular window. A crane driven by a shrimp of sorts dangled a single wrecking ball, shining ominously in the distance.

"How so?" Ari arched an eyebrow.

Sharq leaned on the side of the rickety room wall, shrugging. "If we had two of me, I think that would get old quick. I mean, there really should only be one extremely energetic person around in a given time, you'd think that we would pretty much tire everyone else out with our personalities, right?"

Staring at him with an extremely blank stare, Ari blinked at Sharq, rubbing his eyes as if he had just woken up. After wiping his eyes, he was greeted by a sight of Sharq yet again, only instead of making points, he was just grinning as if nothing of substance of happened. Which was not technically wrong.

"But I'd play for Team Callie, thanks for asking." Sharq nodded, with the older orange Inkling just looking at Sharq, giving him a curt nod.

"Alright, great," Splin spoke up, popping up behind the two, pushing them out, "Let's talk about Splatfest AFTER we get out of here."

Practically shoving the two out through a flimsy door, Splin switched into a squid, hitting the deck a foot or two away from the house. The giant sphere previously held stationary smashed through the small trailer the trio were in, scattering dirt and chipped wood across the ground. Shooting a glare back, Ari scowled, fixating his Jungle Hat in a tilted fashion as to presumably make a "statement".

"How dare they!" Ari scoffed, "I had that room for one more hour!"

"Hey, look, Ari, if this is just about you playing in a Splatfest, than you could have sent mail or something." Splin sighed, staring at the debris scattered around.

Ari scratched the back of his neck, biting his lip. "Well…"

Sharq nodded, lightly pushing away shards of glass precariously perched by his position. "Yeah, we'll follow you, no need to invite us to a rundown shack."

Said shack of sorts was already crumbling behind them. Disregarding the fact that there was a bunch of walls crumbling behind them, they stood up, Splin still glancing around for any sign of the wrecking ball's return.

"Well then, that's good, that's good." Ari nodded, glancing around, clearing his throat once, "Shall we?"

Looking back at the wrecking ball, Splin frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Then he glanced back to Ari. He was practically beaming despite their close shave. Sharq simply shrugged, smiling nonchalantly. On one hand, he did want to just lay at home and contemplate his exist. On the other hand, these two boys combined could be the end of him. But, he supposed, regardless of his choice…

"...Alright, let's go out and get splatted over and over again." Splin sighed, with two gleeful looking squids grinning, "Not like I have anything better to do."

"Great! So, which team are we picking?" Ari asked once more.

"..." Splin blinked, tilting his head with a frown, "...We'll figure it out when we get there."

Ari frowned, shaking his head as the three took off into the distance. Leaving the now pile of dust behind, they went on towards the plaza. Behind them, the wrecking ball rested on the ground, the shrimp behind the mechanism wiping his head free of sweat, leaning back in the chair.

"No! What have you done?!" A voice called from the side.

The shrimp blinked, glancing to the side. An Inkling man stood, garbed in a construction uniform, hands on his hard hat, staring at the wreckage.

"We weren't supposed to destroy it until nine!" He spoke, "Remember that kid who paid us?!"

Eyes wide, the shrimp and the Inkling stared at the mess of wood and glass that was left. Hopping out of the vehicle, the two of them nearly dove in, pushing and pulling debris away, while Ari walked off, with a moment to spare.

* * *

AN: The reviewing system on this site is super flawed. You would think after it was delayed two times before at least they might be able to fix it. I do not know anything about how it works specifically, however, so it may be more complicated than it seems.

I kinda miss being able to do simple little things like in The Bate Brothers where there was not a huge plot at first, it was just kinda two Inklings doing Inkling things. Now I feel as if I've wrapped this story in convolution that will take me a while to clear up. Oh well. Complaining isn't going to get much done. Just wanted to chime in and say, "Happy Last Splatfest".

I want to thank the readers for their support. Especially the reviewers, Dread Angel, write n wrong, Ultrapyre, and Rynowm.

Dread, appreciative for your support and that comment on Maria, certainly makes me glad to see someone else's character represented well.

Thanks for noticing that cameo, write n wrong, wanted to have her join in for something.

Ultrapyre, I apologize for the anti-climatic endings, I don't believe I can write endings too well nowadays. I should probably work on that.

Rynowm, I appreciate it, but fifty more chapters? Goodness. That may be a stretch, but I suppose I'll see what I can do.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to eat breakfast. See you.


	52. Super Sea Snail Shortage

**Suggested by Ultrapyre**

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Super Sea Snail Shortage**

Within probably the darkest corner of Inkopolis, there were chairs stacked neatly in a circle, in an equally dark room. With the flick of a light, the room was illuminated. The light revealed dozens of restless Super Sea Snails of a various variety of colors sitting on folding chairs, rattling to themselves, which I guess was there snail language. A box at the back of the room contained a few more snails, the wooden side ripped off the hinges, revealing their presence to the others. The rattling ceased when the banging of a gavel suddenly drew all of the little snails' attentions to the front.

On top of a wooden desk, a Super Sea Snail with a red shell and a top hat stared at those seated, with two yellow snails sitting by, guarding the spokesperson. Against all odds, they had managed to carry N-ZAP guns on the tips of their shells, sunglasses covering their eyes, looking like the most intimidating escargot you would ever see.

Now, while the only discernible noises were chirps and rattles, if the snails had vocal chords, the one sitting on the table might have said, "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming to Snail Con 2016."

Shaking in their shells, the snails applauded, the noise echoing throughout the small room as their shells rattled. Against all odds, the snail spokesperson bowed respectfully to the crowd despite its lack of… Anything, really.

"Thank you, thank you. Of course, by 2016, this happens to be the anniversary eons after the first Snail Con meeting our ancestors attended so long ago. Now, we have had some issues organizing this event. Our supervisors and those in charge were… Stuck in traffic." The head snail coughed out, looking at the ceiling.

For a moment, every snail in the room just stared down at the ground, a few silently weeping. Their small, cartoonish black pupils closed in solemn respect. Elsewhere, an Inkling or two groaned as their clothing stat rolls came out imperfect.

As soon as the miserable air died down, the Super Sea Snail with a top hat cleared its… mouth, and continued, "We have yet to discuss much about the future of us snails, but before we can do that, we must wait for the esteemed guests of the high snail order to arrive."

An uproar of excited shivering and chattering erupted from the snails, who hopped up and down in their seats, eliciting a smile out of the snail spokesperson. The wealthier snails- Or at least the snails sitting in the comfy box, rattled their shells together respectfully, equally as excited at the prospect of an appearance of this so called "high snail order". As the head snail beamed at his brethren happily celebrating, one of the guard snails dropped its N-ZAP and hopped over on a nearby box, jumping to where the head snail was seated.

"...Er, sir, I have a bit of bad news." The guard snail spoke up nervously.

"Well, what is it Roland? This is an imperative moment for all of snail-kind, this better not derail our plans." The head snail frowned.

The other Super Sea Snail bodyguard hopped up onto the table, lowering its sunglasses. "Dude, I knew we should have told him earlier."

"Ron, c'mon." Rolan whispered, beads of sweat dripping down the blue flesh of the snail.

"What? What is it you two?!" The head snail whispered frantically.

The two bodyguards looked around absentmindedly, eliciting a worried glare from the head snail. After a few moments, the chatter and hype of the crowd still serving as a noisy distraction, both guards sighed, staring at the head snail.

"Mr. Inteo…" The guards gulped, speaking simultaneously, "The high snail order… Let's just say that they were 'stuck in traffic' as well."

Inteo's eyes went as wide as snail eyes could possibly go. For a minute, he sat on the table in shock. As he sat, eventually the mood of the room began dropping, the audience of escargot staring at the head snail suspiciously. Inteo blinked, giving them all the most reassuring face he could muster, and turned back to his bodyguards.

"Then all of this has gone to waste! Without the supervision of them, our plans are shot! Shot I tell you! Our spirits... Our morale... All shot." Inteo shook himself, sighing a snail sigh.

"Sir, might we suggest finding a replacement?" Ron suggested, placing the sunglasses back on his face.

Adjusting his top hat, Inteo would have arched an eyebrow had snails have the capacity to grow them. "Who? The council was full of bright minds, dedicated to bettering the world for snails. Who in all of Inkopolis could possibly replace them?"

* * *

Flying high above, in the skies of Inkopolis, a seagull swung to and fro, attempting to stay with the breeze. In the bird's talons, there was a familiar snail, one named after sodium chloride, with a blue snail and a light face. Salty stared at the city below, air whistling past the snail as both he and the seagull flew through the sky.

If Salty spoke, he might have sighed. "This is like the third time this has happened." He glanced up at the seagull, tapping it with the top of his snail, attracting the seabird's attention, "Don't you have anything better to do?"

Now, if the seagull could talk, it might have said, "Meh, it's a living."

Rolling his eyes, Salty continued staring at the city below the two. All of a sudden, the bird began squawking, swerving about clouds erratically, dangling the poor snail by a thread.

"What's going on?!" Salty asked frantically.

The seagull struggled to stay in the air straight. "Turbulence!"

"What? But you're a bird, aren't you supposed to 'ride the winds' or something safely?" Salty asked, worriedly glancing to the ground.

Squawking again, the seagull began losing altitude. "Well, maybe if I didn't have something weighing me down-"

In his tirade, the seagull neglected to keep his hold on the snail shell, dropping it towards the awaiting Earth below, the gull blinking as it flapped in the air, watching as the Super Sea Snail chittered and shivered as it fell towards the ground into an industrial complex. Hovering above the steel roofs below, the bird gawked for a while, then shook itself, diving back for it with a sigh.

* * *

Back in the conference room, the snails were getting restless, hopping in their seats, asking multiple questions that almost no one could answer, losing patience quickly. Those sitting in their lofty wood box seats, while reserved, would give Inteo irritated looks, only unnerving the top hat wearing snail more. Waving their N-ZAPs at any snails that approached, the bodyguards shot hopeless stares towards Inteo, who simply sighed, lowering his hat off his head by tilting it down, staring at the table solemnly. Eyes closed, when he heard a distinct crashing noise, he had assumed that his brethren's anger had spiked, and was ready to accept his fate. He tensed up as he felt something tap on his shell.

"Hey."

This was truly his darkest days.

"Uh, excuse me?"

He- He was still alive. Blinking, he noticed that the noise and activity in the room had ceased, and all of the snails were staring towards the front yet again. Blinking, Inteo glanced around, thoroughly confused as to why the commotion had died down. Eventually, he realized that they were not staring directly at him, rather next to him. Glancing to the side, there laid another snail on top of the cardboard box by the table he sat on, light streaming through. Salty laid on the box, light streaming through the broken ceiling, resembling some sort of deity. The snails were silent, staring in awe at this being.

Salty's eyes opened slowly, colors flooding in as he blinked. Now, he was sure that the afterlife would look wonderful. In comparison, he did not expect that it would look like a dirty old room filled with snails. Either way, it was certainly a sight to behold, both for him and the snails in the room.

"...Hello." Salty spoke, all of the snails staring straight at him.

Suddenly, a plan hatched in Inteo's mind; the plan was a stretch, but it could solve his problems if he tried; Inteo hopped over to the side of the table and tapped Salty on the side. "It's great to finally have you here…?"

"...Salty." The snail put simply.

"Salty, of the high snail order! Perfect timing, you will lead the Super Sea Snail race to prosperity!" Inteo cheered, sneaking glances at the crowd.

They did not respond immediately, still comprehending the absurdities of the situation. Soon, applause grew slowly with the rattling of a single snail's shell, then the excitement returned, with hoots and hollers from the snails in their own respective language. Feeling as though he had dodged a bullet, Inteo tapped the side of the table, drawing all of the attention back to him, with a bewildered Salty turning his attention to the snail in the hat.

Satisfied with the excitement rekindled, Inteo continued. "It has been a rocky road organizing all of you since the end of Splatfests had ended, with the tremendous outpour of snails managing to survive, but sadly, the added effect of our race steadily declining over the course of a decade ever since we were used for gear upgrades by the Inklings… But we shall suffer no more."

Next to the spokesperson, Salty blinked, unsure of how to react to this. It was a strange turn of events, and he had certainly seen stranger, but this may just be something he could advocate for. It seemed all fine and good.

"For, with the aid of our good friend Salty," Inteo turned towards the snail, "We shall take back our lands by beating back those Inkling fiends, starting with destroying their city!"

Oh. Maybe not.

But before Salty could object, he was showered with praise and shell shakes from the excited snails. They were going absolutely bonkers, and our shelled protagonist could see that quite clearly, and was rather uncomfortable about the proceedings.

" _...I'd like another go at the seagull."_ Salty gulped, hopping off the cardboard box.

Inteo only seemed to worsen the situation for the snail. "There goes our hero now! The revolution begins now my friends!"

The entire room burst into fanfare, the snails leaving their seats to catch up with their "hero". In reality, Salty was attempting to escape from this strange room full of even stranger snails, when the doors to the room swung open. Halting in front of it, the snails stared up at a confused Inkling, who wore a janitor's uniform, mop and bucket at his side.

He blinked for a moment, then shrugged, crouching down. "Alright. Least the kids will like these."

Approaching Salty, the snail backed away reluctantly. Before the janitor could grab a snail, the noise of a gun cocking startled him, and he froze. He was promptly smacked with a projectile, falling to the floor in a daze. The N-ZAP flung at him clattered on the floor, one of the bodyguard snails silently congratulating himself. Without any further reluctance, Salty began charging out, circling around the unconscious Inkling, attempting to escape.

"Score one for the snails. Follow the leader!" Inteo called out, rallying each and every snail, every single one of them hopping or rolling out of the room, pursuing Salty as he began to make his way out of the odd industrial complex.

* * *

Leaping out of an alleyway, Salty panted, leaning his shell on the wall of a metallic building, sighing. Glancing behind him, he groaned, an armada of snails still straight behind him. Hopping out of the pile, Inteo, his top hat still firmly stuck to his head reached Salty with a nonexistent grin.

"You're doing great!" He spoke up, Salty frowning at him as he spoke, "Morale is extremely high, we'll show those Inklings a thing or two!"

Salty sighed. "Look, uh, top hat guy, you gotta tell these guys I want no part of this. I just wanna get home."

"And we'll get it back, with YOUR guidance." Inteo reassured Salty, only irritating the other snail, "Plus, you're our only hope."

"Why don't you lead them, then?" He frowned.

Inteo shook itself with a cheery demeanor. "Sorry, but I can't get the top hat dirty."

As Salty rolled his eyes, Inteo and several other snails stared ahead, a fire rising in their eyes. Several Inklings stood ahead, speaking to one another, walking across the sidewalk. A few carried around Turf War gear among the many other busybodies of the city, sending chills up the snails' shells.

Inteo's expression hardened. "This is what we'll be remembered for, ladies and gentlemen."

"Wait, what?" Salty blinked, glancing at the others, "What are you-"

"Charge! This will be for all of our fallen!" Inteo yelled, the snails already banding together.

Salty hardly said a word as the snails began piling out of the alleyway, crowding the sidewalk. As they collectively piled up on the sidewalk, they slid forward, or at least tried to, looking like an avalanche of shiny shells. He simply glanced out of the corner.

The Inklings on the sidewalk stared at the pile of snails advancing towards them. Now, while they stared in silence, anyone in an automobile certainly did not, passing by on their merry way without a second thought. A few of the younger Inklings garbed in their shirts and shorts with advertisements plastered on them stared at the tidal wave of snails. As they snails approached, one Inkling walked towards the wall of snails and stared at the many pupils glaring at her. Not noticing the hostility, she simply grabbed one snail, skipping away happily. Immediately, the foundation began to crumble, leaving them all in the dust..

Groaning, Inteo hopped out of the pile, dizzily looking around, only for his heart to sink into the bottom of his tiny body. "Oh… NO!"

One by one, each snail was taken, and at that moment, it seemed as if the world was crumbling around Inteo. He gasped for breath, rolling on his side as the sidewalk was cleansed of snails, being taken away into the distance. He shut his eyes as he felt hands wrap around his shell.

Meanwhile, Salty just frowned; while they were practically writing their wills, he was safe behind the wall. He watched as they were taken, one by one, until the streets were finally clean. Salty sighed, shaking his head.

"Well good riddance." Salty sighed, hopping off, "That was tiring."

A gust of wind blew past Salty. Blinking, he found that the ground was slowly disappearing and that the clouds were getting close. Struggling, he attempted to break free, but found that it was useless. Glancing up, he met the beak of a seagull, who stared down at him.

"Hello, lunch." It squawked.

Salty groaned. "Hello, bird."

Once again, the endless cycle of predator and prey seemed to have caught up with Salty, who was stuck with his seagull once more.

* * *

"...This is the end of the Super Sea Snails." Inteo frowned.

As he was carried away with the rest of his brethren, the Inklings that had scavenged them on the street began attracting attention from other squids. They walked about, getting looks of envy and delight from others. The closer they got to Inkopolis Plaza, the more Inklings crowded around. Soon, a whole crowd of Inklings seemed to outnumber the snails, who just whimpered and shook, as the center of the plaza seemed to be chock full of them. Over at the side, the snails closest to an alleyway by the Squid Sisters' Studio would shiver the most, green irises and spikes glinting from the back as more and more Inklings flooded in.

"Hey, where'd you get all the snails?"

"They're so adorable!"

"Can I have one?"

Each and every question felt like a nail piercing Inteo's shell. Before he had more time to mope about his fate, one of the Inklings just smiled and handed him off to another one.

"Sure!" She spoke up, "I can always just get some more from Judd."

Inteo's eyes opened up. _"Wait, what?"_

Another Inkling cocked an eyebrow. "Whoa, what?"

"Yeah, didn't you hear?" She spoke up, glancing over at Inkopolis Tower, where a certain cat remained stationary and sleeping by the front entrance, "You win enough battles, and Judd will give you a free snail!"

Suddenly, Inteo and his brethren were stowed away, a few kept by Inklings sides, safely ported away from the alley, much to a sea urchin's disappointment. Interested murmurs and whispers followed. All of the snails were still quite shocked. For a moment, no one knew what their fate would be.

"Well if that's the case… I'm keeping this one. It has a nice hat." The female carrying Inteo smiled, rubbing its shell.

At that moment, Inteo could not believe his luck. All of a sudden, the Inklings did not seem too bad. Still, if he wanted justice, he would get it, he swore it.

If Inteo could speak, he might have called out to his companions, "Praise the snails of above! We live to fight another day!"

Luckily for them, Inklings could not understand them, and the cheers of the snails were taken as happiness that they were being spirited away to a different home. In reality, they conspired for yet another comeback, but that is a story for another day. As each satisfied Inkling in the plaza shuffled off with their snail haul, the crowd dispersed until there were a select few left. Out of the plaza, a trio of Inklings glanced at the crowd carrying the rebellious snails away. One of them adjust their Takoroka Mesh, blinking at the group.

"Aw." Sharq sighed, shaking his head, "Everyone but us got so many snails."

Behind him, Ari flaunted his Jungle Hat, shaking his head as well. "Yeah. Perhaps if SOMEONE actually joined our team, we might have stood a chance."

Contrary to the two of them wearing t-shirts that had Callie displayed proudly on them, Splin stood to the side, adjusting his headphones, wiping off his Marie shirt.

"We've been over this. It hardly matters who won or who lost. Jeez, Sharq, you chose a great name for our snail." Splin frowned.

"Don't be a spoilsport, rival." The orange squid teenager spoke up with a frown.

Splin gave him a glare. "You two were the ones who kept complaining about teammates being salty and-"

"Now Splin, Ari's right. Besides, you're right as well!" Sharq nodded, "There really is only one snail for us."

The younger brother deadpanned. "That isn't the- Oh never mind."

Shaking his head, Splin waved his farewell to Ari, who simply chuckled and returned the goodbye. As the group dispersed, they hardly noticed the seagull circling overhead, toting an impressive haul: One very bored Super Sea Snail.

* * *

AN: I feel as though I should give more ambiguous characters chances to shine.

But aside from that, there isn't much to talk about... Except for our lovely reviews.

The first review I'm going to address is dillxox123's. Dude, like, I get that you were hyped for Splatfest and all, but I would've appreciated it if you had posted the review on a chapter pertaining to that and not just spam your message all across other stories. I'm sorry Team Callie lost as well, if you're reading this, just please leave a review that's more substantial or related next time, because it just really came across as a little annoying that you would think little of my story as something you could just flaunt your team pick on. Sorry, but it just kinda bugged me. If you do think little of my story, please just tell me and don't just say that you are on Team Callie in the reviews... But I guess I can't moderate you, so... Sorry.

Glad I got that off my chest. With that said and done, thanks write n wrong and Ultrapyre for reviewing.

Everyone seems to be talking about a sequel, write n wrong. That's pretty great for the community, but I have a sinking feeling Ultrapyre may be a little irritated by all this sequel talk…

Cough, uh, Ultrapyre, thanks for giving me quite the suggestion, hope it was a nice read. Looking forward to your story with bated breath.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to read or something. See you.


	53. Her Empty Bed

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Her Empty Bed**

She was sitting on the floor in the dark by herself. It had been days. About three days since their descent into the unknown. Among the many Octarians that dwell within Octo Valley, Chi was starting to worry. Walking through one of the metal hallways of the headquarters, passing by several living quarters, she sighed as she roamed for a while. After quite a few steps, she came across one specific dorm. Stopping right in front of it, staring for quite some time at the uncleaned scorch marks on the outside over the door.

As she approached the entrance, Chi hesitated, making sure to keep her Octoling Goggles on tight. A second thought crossed through her head. Glancing around the hall for a moment, she removed her goggles upon finding that there was no one looking about, not that it would have mattered. Nevertheless, she considered it a bit of a respectful gesture, and removed her goggles, revealing her crystal clear blue eyes. Blinking softly, the metal door to the room started to lift up to clear the way, revealing a rather plain room.

A pair of bunks sat next to one another, extremely close by. Walking over towards one of them, she could not help but simultaneously stare at the bed opposite. A mess of pillows and blankets were stacked into a small pile. Sitting down on her respective mattress, she placed her hands on her cheeks and stared at the pile for a good minute or two.

" _...Where are you?"_ She wondered to herself, frowning.

Falling back on the bed, she stared up at the metallic ceiling, staring without a word, closing her eyes, thinking back to days past long ago...

* * *

"Alright newbie." A young Octoling with her goggles dangled around her neck lazily spoke up, "What I am about to say is gonna be important. I can't be bothered to repeat this, so lend me those ears."

Two years prior, Chi sat on the exact same spot, staring up at her roommate. Tai, just as young, had her arms crossed and was standing on her cot, occasionally bouncing up and down on the mattress, much to the other Octoling's discomfort. Tapping her fingers on the soft fabric, Chi maintained the best posture she could manage.

"Yes, I understand. I'm all ears, T-41." She told her, sitting as straight as she could without a backbone, which was actually rather simple.

Shaking her head, Tai slammed the wall behind her with her fist, Chi swallowing a nervous lump in her throat. "Okay, you already broke one of my first rules."

"What's that?" Chi asked, sweating bullets.

Arching an eyebrow, Tai hopped off of the bed and cast her goggles towards the side, leaning on the tips of her boots towards the other bed. As the other Octoling homed in like a discomfort causing missile, Chi backed away towards the side of the dorm, cold steel eliciting shivers from her as the tentacles touched the back. Much to her surprise, her "superior" just smiled at her, then decided to pat her on the head like a pet.

"You don't need to call me T-41 here, you know. Just Tai works. Got it? Tai. T-A-I." She enunciated with painstaking clarity as she eyed the other's goggles.

Chi blinked underneath the cover of her goggles. "...Okay? But Tai-"

"Eh, bu-bu-bu- You shush, let me continue for a second." Tai spoke, the brisk cut-off causing her colleague to keep her mouth shut, "Rule number two: Do not mess with this."

Turning around, Tai began pointing towards her own bed, which sat across from Chi's own. Her gaze followed the finger. Where Tai's goggles now remained completely motionless, a clutter of blankets, haphazardly stuffed into one unceremonious pile covered the remnants of what was supposed to be a bed frame and a mattress. It was not unlike a winter wonderland, only with warmer white covering the canvas. As she gawked at the pile, she was not sure whether or not she was staring in sheer awe, or if this was not meant to be witnessed with mortal eyes. Soon, however, it appeared as though it would not matter, as her roommate walked back over towards her bed with a yawn.

" _No way."_ Her mouth gaped open as she watched with a sense of horror.

Similar to a professional diver embarking on an undersea journey to a sunken ship, Tai stretched both of her arms towards the ceiling and leaped up over the tangled sheets. Chi was completely silent, watching as she descended upon and into the fluffy mess, rustling them as she was consumed by the mess. For a solid minute and a half, (she timed) Chi stared at the jumbled heap with a mouth agape, removing her Octoling Goggles to make sure they were not malfunctioning. It was amazing that someone could manage to thrive in such...Bizarre conditions.

Then again, she was an Octoling, just like Tai.

Slowly, Chi got off her bed, walking over towards the other cot cautiously. Eyes carefully scanning the sheets, every step she made was as if it would all matter in the long run. For all she knew, this could be a test of sorts. Approaching the blankets with a sluggish pace, she started reaching towards the sheets.

Only to retract her hand immediately as the pile vibrated again. "Ah," Tai sighed in relief as her head popped out of the sheets, her Octoling Goggles stuck on the top of one of her tentacles, "If you'd like, you can always hop in."

"Hop in that thing?!" Chi asked with a horrified gasp.

Immediately, Chi had wished she had stayed silent, as the less than amused face Tai was giving her was just as intimidating as the all devouring mess of comforters that she sat in.

Instead of erupting into fury, Tai just shook her head and sighed. "Alright, your loss."

As Tai began preparing for another dive, Chi shook her head and started reaching out for her. "Hey, hold on!" Arching an eyebrow, Tai began turning back towards her companion. "What about the other rules?"

Tai just blinked tiredly and yawned. "What other rules?"

With that being said, she submerged herself in bedroom comforts, leaving Chi by herself in the room. Blinking, she raised a fist up to her chin and frowned.

" _Well that was helpful."_ Chi thought, shaking her head. _"Can she really just do whatever she wants? Or is she just testing me? ...And where did she get all of those-"_

A voice screamed from somewhere close by, "T-41, you'd better not have made off with my sheets again! We had just sent them into the wash too!"

A muffled, "No" was shouted out from the recesses of the bed, followed by a groan elsewhere. An orchestra of footsteps continued the sound trend, up to the point where the sound of the door to the room sliding open. Chi then learned firsthand just how far her mouth could go. So far, it had not hit the floor, but as one of the most prestigious commanders in the army, Aussie herself with the elite seaweed sticking above the platinum sheen of her tentacles. For a moment, Chi just backed away on her bed, beginning to sweat somewhat as she passed by, glaring down at the mess.

"The jig is up, T-41. Get out of there now or I'll be forced to revoke your bed sheet privileges." She threatened, already reaching out towards the sheets.

In the middle of reaching over, Tai's hand shot out to meet her commanding officers, smacking her hand away. "You're not getting my bed, Auss. I worked hard on this!"

"I've been getting complaints from everyone else about missing bed sheets, Tai! Seriously, get out of there!" Aussie cried out, with Chi having trouble discerning whether it was in anger or actual fear.

For a while, the pile just remained stagnant with no sign of the other Octoling. Getting frustrated, Aussie rolled up the short sleeves she had on her uniform and dove straight into the sheets, shifting into an octopus. Entering the bed, she left Chi behind to stare at the pile, the youngest Octoling still sitting straight with her hands folded in her lap. A minute passed by. Figuring that this was of no concern to her, she hopped off of her bed.

Only to leap back on like a terrified neighborhood cat when Tai' shriek, "No! My legacy!" pierced through the bed sheets as Aussie emerged with several of the aforementioned bedding materials, huffing. Walking by, Aussie caught a glimpse of the other Octoling, stopping right in front of her.

Chi felt as though she wanted to say something about the situation, which, much to her surprise was answered immediately. "I apologize for your bedding arrangements, this was the last room we had for an Octoling of your ranking. You're C-H1, the new recruit?"

Blinking back at her, Chi jolted up. "Yes, I'm the bed- Uh, the new one."

Chi braced for the worst as Aussie arched an eyebrow at her while her roommate thrashed in her bed angrily. The cold stare she was given hardly made Chi feel any better. But it seemed as though her fears would be put to rest as Aussie gave her a small, hopeful smile.

"I have high expectations for you, Chi. I think you'll be a great Octoling. ...More so than her at least." She muttered the final statement right before nodding at Chi, walking out of the room with her comfortable trophies in hand.

Making her exit, the door rose up to make way for Aussie, who strut away with somewhat of a proud albeit simultaneous fatigued limp in her legs. Right across from the spectator who had witnessed the miniature battle between the two Octolings, Tai popped out of a single thin sheet, huffing towards the hallway outside.

"What's her deal?! I'm sure that five more Octolings can manage without their blankets." She scowled as she turned towards Chi with a shrug, "Oh, oops. That's Auss. She's supposed to be like our second boss."

Her hand shot up to readjust her goggles while Chi nodded. "Right. Um, you two seem-"

"We're the best of friends, I know." Tai grinned, standing up straight, the metal making a clunk noise as she left the cot, "It's been that way since I've been here."

"...Ah." Chi murmured, rubbing the back of her neck.

Shrugging, Tai continued talking, "But enough about me, what's your deal?"

Again, Chi jolted upwards in shock. "Huh? What about me?"

"Gee, I don't know, you tell me." Tai yawned, sitting back on top of her own bed, hands on her cheeks, "I'm listening: Why are you stuck down here? I'm pretty sure that we have enough Octarians in the army."

Biting her lip, Chi began turning her gaze towards the floor morosely. "...Well, I...I really didn't have too much of a choice."

Glancing upwards, Chi half expected the other Octoling to be half-asleep, wrapped in her own little blanket, but much to her surprise, Tai was quite literally on the edge of her seat, arching an eyebrow.

"...It was either here or one of the trash heaps. My parents…" Chi frowned, gripping the side of her left arm with the other, "They were... They fought and..."

Silence. Not a comment from Tai, not a rustle could be heard. Underneath the goggles, Chi was practically glaring holes in the floor. Biting her lip somewhat harder, she began staring elsewhere from the other Octoling. Finally, it seemed as though the combination of silence and her own confession was already pinning her down. Gritting her teeth, she attempted to say something.

She was surprised to find an arm wrapped around her shoulder. Glancing up in surprise, she noticed that while Tai's bed was now empty, there is one more octopus currently occupying the same cot. Head spinning to the side, Chi felt her cheeks flush with a blue-violet from embarrassment, Tai patting her on the back softly.

"...Um, sorry." Chi muttered, glancing down at the floor.

Without warning, she found her goggles flung on the floor and Tai staring at her dead on with a glare, with Chi too shocked to speak a word.

Yet, she attempted to. "I-"

"No." Tai frowned, only confusing Chi more.

"But-"

"Okay, new rule." Her roommate began.

For a moment, Chi was unsure of what to say. The embrace that enveloped her soon after convinced her that perhaps staying silent was the best answer. A slight drop of violet and blue dripped down her eye, and despite her best efforts, Chi could not help but utter a single sob.

Throughout the hug, Tai just lightly rubbed her back. "The new rule is that if you ever need something, ask me first. And I mean anything."

Sniffling, Chi nodded as best as she could with an Octoling shoulder and tentacle in the way.

"Don't worry, I've got your back."

As Tai said that, she pat her on the back, a smirk curling up on her own face and a smile popping up on Chi's. Attempting to budge, Tai tried to retract her arms from her Octoling companion. Seconds went by as Tai's moves became more and more apparent, Tai grunting softly as she tried to remove her arms, but it seemed as though Chi's grip had grown too accustomed to the other octopus.

Sighing, Tai found herself blushing as well. "And the next rule will be, 'Tell no one I hugged you for a minute and a half', you crybaby."

That seemed to be enough reason for Chi to let go. Getting up to her feet, Tai stood up on the metal floor, only to crouch down immediately, picking up Chi's Octoling Goggles, turning back towards her teary-eyed friend.

"Aussie will snap if we don't wear these outside." She remarked, tossing the goggles towards Chi, who caught them immediately.

Before she could even thank her roommate, as she caught the goggles, Tai began walking out, making sure that her goggles were firmly wrapped around her neck. She stared at the still wet-faced Chi, arching an eyebrow.

"Want me to get you a tissue or something?" She asked, leaning on the door frame.

Shaking her head, Chi got up to her feet, slowly walking out the door. "N-No thanks. I can get it myself."

"Not if I get it first." Her fellow Octoling stated before she ran out the door through the hall.

Managing a laugh, Chi started sprinting after her. As she left the room, her boots clanging across the floor her as she ran, the door closed and shut the room off from the rest of the hall. But louder than any of the metal noises were those of two Octolings laughing together.

* * *

Sighing at the memory, Chi sat on her bed, absentmindedly swinging her feet in a sort of a rhythm. Across from her, Tai's bed was a mess, though it was small in stature, consisting of two pillows and a blanket. As the remaining bit of attention she had on the real world focused on the bed, she almost did not notice the sound of propellers spinning and the sight of a shadow floating entering the room.

"Hey, Chi!" Jerry yelled from outside in the hallway.

Surprised yet again, Chi yelped and instinctively reached for something to defend herself with, planting her hand on her bed. Picking up a pillow on her cot, she aimed it with a ferocious swiftness towards the outside, where an Octotrooper yelped as well, shielding itself with its two mechanical ski-board legs.

Shaking back in forth in a frenzy to protect himself, Jerry cried out, "Whoa, whoa! It's me, it's Jerry! I'm just checking in!"

Eyes tracing over the familiar tentacle-like shape of the Octocopter, Chi clutched her chest, sighing in relief, before scowling at him. "Jerry, don't scare me like that!"

"I didn't know you would freak out! Jeez, come back from a mission and get scolded by Chi! What a day!" Jerry groaned as he hovered in the hall uneasily.

Regaining her posture, Chi coughed, "Sorry, sorry. I'm just...Uh, reminiscing!"

Jerry cleared his throat, nodding all the while. "Right, right. Just wanted to check in."

After giving a nod of confirmation, Chi just stared back at the floor with a sigh. With that said, Jerry went back on his merry way, flying away from the room, the door slamming shut. For a moment, Chi went back to staring at Tai's side of the room with a worried frown. Just sighing, Chi reached at her face, pulling off her goggles, tossing them on the floor gently. Leaning back on her bed onto her pillow, she stared at the ceiling and wondered and pondered to herself silently in the dark, then slowly began drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Down lower in the darkest corners of Octo Valley, a pair of Octolings scouted out an abandoned fortress, walking past decayed rooms full of discarded papers and empty barracks. Tai shuffled behind Aussie slowly, with the latter looking rather irritated at the moment, stomping ahead of her lazier companion. Arms crossed behind her head, Tai stared at the ceiling with a frown.

"...Hey, Auss-"

Spinning around, Aussie glared at Tai, her index finger already raised as if to scold her, the commander's tentacle standing on edge.

"Do you think the others are doing alright? Like Jerry… Or Chi? We've been down here for a while." Tai frowned, eyes gravitating towards the floor.

For a moment, Aussie stared at Tai in suspicion. Specifically straight at her face. Instead of the other false expressions she had used to irk the commanding officer of the Octolings, it was a genuine face, stuck in thought.

As Aussie attempted to discern whether she was attempting another joke or not, Tai continued, answering her question, "Jerry could be hovering around having fun…But what about Chi? She's been through a lot...I feel kinda bad.

Aussie bit her lip and tilted her head, thoroughly unsure of what to say.

"And it has nothing to do with her betrayal." Tai said as she whipped her head around, staring at Aussie.

"...Tai, I'm sure she's fine." Aussie spoke up softly, adjusting her goggles, "Look, we'll just finish up here quickly, see if we can find anything of substance, and then we can check on her, alright?"

Closing her eyes, Tai just nodded, a smirk already crossing her face. "Right. At least I have you to keep dear old me company, Auss."

Aussie just scoffed as Tai snickered quietly from behind. With all that said and done, Aussie slowly turned around. For a moment, all the two Octolings did was walk, the light from their headgear illuminating the way forward. Their footsteps echoed among the abandoned base of operations, the sound of metal creaking underneath their boots being the only other sound as they ventured forward into the unknown.

* * *

AN: Phew, I finally managed to get that out of the way. I'm sad that summer is coming to a close, but at least I got to swim a lot and stuff myself with delightful meals. Certainly a turtle's dream right there.

Hope you all had a good summer as well, to end this summer off on a pleasant enough note, hopefully, let's look at those reviews.

Thanks write n wrong, CathyMirii, and Rynowm for reviewing!

write n wrong, let's just all hope that the snails live another day. After all, someone needs to feed the urchins.

I am so glad you got that Garry's Mod scene, CathyMirii, I had a lot of fun writing the chapter and posing all of those goofy snails.

Now I'm no music expert, but this Bonkers song certainly sounds interesting… I'll be sure to take your suggestion into consideration, Rynowm. It may be a bit sooner than you think…

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, remember, school and work are just seven to eight hours of mundane tasks, just get them done and you'll be on your way to the winter holiday season, good people. See you.


	54. Trophy Life

**Suggested by Rynowm**

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Trophy Life**

On the top of the roof of the Bate household, staring out at the azure sky, Ann-Gel sat on her amiibo pedestal among the plastic orange ink. As slow days pass by in her world of larger household appliances which tower over her, she could only sigh as she remained stagnant upon the flat top of the house. Time and time again, even after the fiasco that was the shrinking incident, all she could think of was how rather slow her life really was, being a small statuette and all. She was limited; every so often, she could change how her tentacles looked, though it was restricted to orange and green for some reason, as if she was just a marketing ploy.

She had thought long and hard about it. It was not exactly bad, she did not need to eat or drink. ...Though with the amount of food Sharq would bring home, it was more of a curse watching him consume delicious albeit generally unhealthy snacks. It was maddening, almost. It was not limited to just them, either. Everyone with a hint of natural sentience always irked her on the inside.

Maria was a wonderful woman who would always treat the little trophy with respect everytime she walked by her, for instance. But...She was not of this world. Not just in a fantastic, compliment-like way, but the fact that she had a weird degree of strength and apparently two superpowered children somehow was sort of scary.

There was also Salty. At this point, she was certain the snail was avoiding her for whatever reason. Each time the snail seemed to be around, he would just shoot her a tired, passing glance, and hop up the stairs, slowly but surely, to "enjoy the outside breeze". But for some reason, whenever he went up to "enjoy the breeze, he would seem to vanish off of the face of the Earth!

The only thing that seemed to keep her completely sane was of the brothers. Yes, the very same brothers responsible for almost tearing the fabric of their own universe apart. Out of all of them, she found a sort of kinship between them. Sharq was a silly squid to be sure, inviting her to play using the game console somehow despite the controllers being too large for her, he was nice. Splin was too, seeing as how he was quite possibly the reason she was still alive and not stuck in the ground somewhere. They were a constant in this world of interchangeable wackiness, and she could respect that.

An irritated buzz could be heard coming from the side, quickly startling Ann-Gel as she sat on her pedestal, glancing around the roof. Eyes gravitating towards the staircase, she immediately found the source of the noise in the form of a bright, multicolored cube that sat on top of the trapdoor that led into the Bate household.

"...Hi Tele." She spoke softly, sighing shortly afterwards.

Straight after she said that, she could hear the noise of thumping. When she glanced to her left with an eyebrow arched, she felt a bead of artificial orange sweat drip down her face as Tele-Cube "rolled", for lack of a better word, over towards her until the cube was smack dab in front of her. A frowning face popped up on the screen facing her, prompting her to shoot a very slight smile back in its direction.

"Look, it's nice that you popped up to check in, but I'd rather be alone right now…" She said, hugging her knees.

The cube's frown just tightened. Looking about, an electronic humming filled the air. For a moment, the cube hovered in the air, spinning about as if it were a top. Arching an eyebrow, Ann-Gel frowned as the electronic humming began to grow, prompting her to cover her ears with her hands, the little amiibo girl staring at her pedestal sadly. All of a sudden, a noise akin to a crash erupted behind her. Jolting up once again, she spun around, noticing that the hole in the ceiling had gotten larger. But that was hardly the tip of the iceberg. If she listened carefully enough, more crashing noises sounded out underneath her.

"Whoa!" A young male's voice yelped in surprise, "Tele-Cube, what are you-"

More crashing ensued. For a minute, Ann-Gel started to stand up, but remained in place for fear of something else going awry. A collection of noises that under relatively normal circumstances would sound like a chaotic barnyard. She pursed her lips and glanced from side to side, the silence filled with sound of seagull cries in the background. Then, for a brief moment she turned around out of curiosity. She froze in place, eyes growing wide and mouth nearly hitting the floor.

Tele-Cube floated just above the hole in the roof, but the object was not alone. Snagged on the top-left edge facing Ann-Gel, a certain Inkling was held up by his White Anchor Tee. Staring at Ann-Gel in shock with his Takoroka Mesh cap dangling off his shoulder, Sharq smiled in confusion and waved, his legs dangling from the ceiling.

"Oh! Hi Ann-Gel!" Sharq beamed, waving his hand, "Tele-Cube said he you wanted company!"

Frowning, the small amiibo managed a smile. "Did it?"

Behind Sharq, the technicolored cube bobbed up and down in a nodding fashion. One day, Ann-Gel would find out wherever that object's circuit board lay and she would seriously give it a scolding.

Regardless of her irritation towards the cube, she just blinked, her orange irises hinting at a sense of forlornness. Well, the closest for a literal trophy at least. "Well, thank you, but I'm fine now…I'll just be…Cloud watching."

Ann-Gel said politely as she glanced at the spotless sky above her. Still hovering in mid-air the two started humming, albeit each reason for completely different reasons. Glancing away from the two of them, she continued to sulk to herself. Unbeknownst to Ann-Gel, an optimistic squid hovered by the grip of a cube, staring down at her as she sat and sighed to herself.

"...Hey." Sharq piped up.

As if she thought that her message was not clear enough before, Ann-Gel crossed her hands in front of her shirt, making a face despite the fact she faced away from the larger Inkling. Frowning, the older Bate Brother just pursed his lips, staring up at the sky as the Tele-Cube started to drop altitude, a "Danger!" sign flashing on its screen.

All of a sudden, Sharq seemed to have an idea, swinging his arms up. "Hey, Ann-Gel AGH!"

Perking up once again for at least the third time, Ann-Gel rolled her eyes and turned around slowly. "Sharq, please, I'm totally fi…"

A disoriented blue squid hung on to the edges of the hole in the ceiling, eyes rolling about in a daze. By the side of the hole, the Tele-Cube shook itself rapidly as if to relieve dizziness caused by about a centimeter (smaller than an inch) long fall. Exclamation points blinked on its screens when it glanced towards the squid, who also snapped himself out of his bizarre daze.

"You- Ow," Sharq muttered, plucking a splinter from his arm, "Sorry about that, you wanna go on a walk?"

For a moment, Ann-Gel wanted to raise her voice, shout at Sharq and the cube, and tell her to leave her alone to her misery. Eventually, her irritation faded as the two of them stared back at her with innocence beaming in their eyes. She just frowned back at them. The two just stared harder, Sharq even going the extra mile with a tilt of his head. The amiibo just pouted back at the two, making sure her arms were crossed and that her hands were wrapped around her elbows tightly.

A minute passed, and Ann-Gel's pout began to diminish, replaced with yet another sigh. "...Okay, Sharq, fine. I'll go with you on a walk. One walk."

"Hooray!" He cheered as he hopped into the air in his diminutive squid form, the cube just floating upwards to compensate.

Just shaking her head in disbelief, she standed up slowly, Ann-Gel glancing up at Sharq as he stood tall over her in his regular humanoid self, his Takoroka Mesh shading his eyes. Without a second to spare, she suddenly found her pedestal rising up from the floor. Her irises expanding, she immediately took hold of the base, for fear that something may go horribly wrong if she were to be disconnected. ...Well, it was a hunch, but regardless of that, she soon found herself perched on top of Sharq's shoulder, who attempted to balance the amiibo somewhat clumsily.

"Alright, hold on." He spoke up, making sure to stand precisely still.

As soon as she stopped sliding over his arm, Ann-Gel simply gave him a curt nod, gripping onto his shirt sleeve. "Promise to walk slow?"

In the blink of an eye, suddenly Ann-Gel found herself holding onto the tip of a blue tentacle tightly, the squid aiming at the sky while simultaneously staring back at her. "Yeah! I'll walk slow when we get there."

Before Ann-Gel could get a chance to comprehend what he meat, she felt herself lift off into the sky, gripping Sharq's tentacle for dear life, flapping around in the air along with the very ecstatic, flailing tendril. A burst of blue ink splashed off onto the roof, leaving a mark right next to the cube, which laid behind alone on the roof. The cube tilted to face the floor, and made a noise akin to a sigh that passed through an electronic fan. Its top flipped open, a gloved hand carrying a dustpan and duster springing out. It went to work on "cleaning" the ink by brushing over the paint splatter as the other two Inklings aimed for the city of Inkopolis, hopefully warranting a good enough landing.

* * *

As she fell through the clouds, suddenly Ann-Gel had a pretty good idea of why Splin came home tired with complaints aplenty. The whole, "Oh my Cod we are literally falling to Earth right now I just saw a seagull fly past I have clouds in my eyes" thought process was not only terrifying, but doing it constantly could prove enough to disturb a lesser Inkling. Though, the jittery way Splin slept nowadays might be a whole different issue altogether…

Nevertheless, all mental debate had ceased in place of sheer terror, and it seemed as though Ann-Gel had forgotten how to scream. It was probably the idea of smashing into the pavement and falling apart on impact. Sure, Sharq was fine, she had seen him return with just a scratch at worse, though a meeting with the asphalt was not on her agenda at all. Well, it was too late now. Already, the sight of Inkopolis Tower and the ever motionless Great Zapfish coiled around it entered into view, and so did the ground that threatened to break her into pieces. With fear clouding her judgement, she scrambled up the tentacle she held onto, Sharq still flopping about the clouds like a ragdoll wildly, hardly noticing her as he brushed past the fluffy fragments of cirrus.

" _Oh, please. If someone or something out there is watching, please let there be a soft place to land."_ She thought frantically as she hugged Sharq tightly.

As they parted another set of clouds, it revealed more land, a few flat building roofs, a few skyscrapers in the distance, and a plane that swerved by. Maybe there was someone out there who watched, they just thought it would be funny to screw with her. She started hyperventilating, inhaling and exhaling as if she actually needed it. Instead of breathing, she just shut her eyes once she realized she hardly needed the oxygen, waiting for the whooshing and air whistling to stop.

It finally ceased after a minute. Ann-Gel had her face buried in where she imagined Sharq's tentacle was before her passing. She opened her eyes slowly but surely, expecting either a patch of clouds extending across a bright azure sky with light shining down, a rather ominous pit of fire and brimstone, or at the very least, a nice shelf where other trophies went after they left the mortal realm. Instead, she was greeted with a bustling street, Inklings of all sizes and shapes walking and conversing among tall markets and retail stores, looking rather healthy. None of them had halos or horns extending out of the heads either much to her relief. They just sat at dining tables outside under awnings or walked about with their Turf War Ink Tanks already strapped to their backs.

"Here we are! Inkopolis! Be sure to tip your cabbie." Sharq winked at the amiibo still perched on his shoulder somehow.

Blinking, Ann-Gel took the time to stare at Sharq. She found herself still hugging his tentacle for dear life. Instead of his arm, however, she now found herself gripping one of the unfastened tentacles which were left to droop freely over the back of Sharq's head. Seeing Sharq without his hat was somehow...Unnerving. Not that his tentacles were bad, they were certainly a sight to see and they kept her from falling to her doom alone, but…

She just had to say something. "Sharq, where's your cap?"

As soon as she finished, she immediately regretted bringing the cap up. Instead of irises, Sharq's eyes could have been refitted for use as dinner plates.

"Oh no!" He yelped, reaching up to his head with his right arm, patting around the blue tentacle hair, "Shoot! I can't believe I lost it! That was a gift from dad-"

Then, with his free hand, he raised up a familiar Takoroka Mesh, ruffled by the wind and a bit faded due to time, but it was definitely there. Sharq tilted his head slightly, shooting a smirk towards Ann-Gel. Sighing, she just pushed his cheek as if she were actually his size, the only result being a slight poke on the other Inkling's end.

"Darn it, don't scare me like that Sharq!" She groaned, making sure to keep her pedestal balanced on his shoulder.

Chuckling somewhat, Sharq placed his cap back on his head with a grin. "Well, thanks for worrying for my hat."

"No!" She screamed suddenly, irritation replacing the vertigo and fright she had felt once before, "Don't jump into the sky! Like, give me a warning next time instead of leaping up into-"

She paused suddenly, glancing around. As if a boy and a trophy falling from the sky was not enough, her little outburst seemed to had attracted quite the onlookers. A few of the younger Inklings had smartphones at the ready, the camera reticles rising slowly as they attempted to cash in on the bizarre trend of talking statuettes. Glancing back to Sharq, she noticed a rather gloomy stare on his face as he stared at the ground, his left hand rubbing the back of his neck out of shame.

Figuring that since she already bulldozed the sense of "normal" in the air with her first statement, she cleared her throat and spoke again, "Staring is rude, you know! Shoo! This isn't the weirdest thing you've seen!"

The handful of curious Inklings with their cells ready withdrew their recording devices, kicking away at the pavement as they walked away disappointed. Surprisingly, everyone continued with their daily schedule, hardly paying the amiibo a second glance. It was a relief that she was no longer beholden like the next million views on a vlog or something, but at the same time somewhat disappointing…

She turned back to the morose Sharq, lightly patting him on the shoulder. "Sorry. Just, um, please be careful next time."

The other Inkling glanced up, the light from a phone shutting off as he did so, his previously low eyebrows lightening up with the rest of his expression. "Hmm?"

"...Were you- Is that a phone?" She asked, eyelids lowering as she spoke.

Smiling, the other Inkling raised his phone, clear to see. No cracks, a white simple phone with a triangular top like a squid and a notable button on the bottom by the screen.

"Yeah, Splin helped me get this new phone for *free! I just needed to call 1-9155-4009-2147157317 and I got this phone with a *free year's supply of talking and texting!" He spoke up with a smile, then coughed, "*Provided you pay the first few thousand coins."

Pursing her lips, Ann-Gel arched an eyebrow. "...How did you call them in the first place? I've never seen you with a phone before."

Sharq blinked once, glanced down at the phone, then frowned. "Well, there goes my joke."

Finishing with that, he tossed the phone off into the street. Not long after its tumble onto the asphalt, a pick-up truck drove on by, crushing the electronic underneath one of its tires.

The amiibo just frowned again. "I mean, I guess you could have made the call from Splin's phone-"

Just patting Ann-Gel on the head quickly, he began jogging away from the street. "Hey, how about we just go for a walk or something?"

Before she could argue, Sharq made a dash away from the phone as if it were a rotten apple spoiled to the point of stench. With the amount of logic that had been shoved to the side just then and there, it probably was not too much of a surprise that someone would want to ditch the joke. Sharq smiled as if nothing had ever happened while Ann-Gel just stared behind at the phone lying in pieces, other vehicles rolling over the parts repeatedly until it was flattened to the point where it could have been one with the road and no one could have noticed.

She just shook her head, sitting back on the pedestal, and decided to enjoy the sights of the city. She had not been out much, and the one prevalent time she did remember staying in Inkopolis was when she had whisked Splin away to the amiibo missions she had in store. She hummed, it was nice that someone managed to complete them, but now that her task was all set and done...Now what? For whatever reason, a feeling of dread began washing over her. Her purpose in life was to provide for missions, and that was it. What else could she do? Thoughts ran rampant in her head as she stared around at the scene.

If there was ever a comparison for her artificial brain activity, it might just be the people rushing around them. Every single Inkling seemed to have a purpose, whether it be walking about to work or towards the Inkopolis Tower with their friends, ready for a fight to the finish. Her mind boggled while the Inklings lived their lives in the background. Sighing, she hung her head, staring down at the sidewalk which also seemed to outpace her, moving along as Sharq's shoes lifted up in a rhythm.

After a few minutes of sulking on the other Inkling's shoulder, her glare at the ground softened as she noticed Sharq's pace slowing. Looking up, she gazed out, somewhat surprised. Instead of an urban jungle, a solitary park with grass plumes rising over hills and yonder as far as the eye could see, enclosed only by a brick wall that encircled the park. Glancing across the road, Sharq hummed, glancing for any incoming vehicles that threatened to bulldoze them into the pavement. After the brief safety precaution, he stepped out into the road, walking across with a hum.

For a moment, he caught a glimpse of Ann-Gel's downcast frown, so he turned around, careful not to accidentally smack her off, and smiled at her. "We are going on a walk, right? Might as well take you someplace nice!"

For a moment, Ann-Gel just smiled back, though she still felt somewhat miserable on the inside. Without a word, she allowed herself to be carried through as Sharq walked along, none the wiser. Passing by trees and benches, she let her thoughts cloud her vision. She let her mind wander, thinking about the hows, the whats, and the whys. Namely, how was she alive? What was she doing here? Why was she sitting on someone else's shoulder? Frowning, she realized that each and every one of those questions could be attributed to self-consciousness about her existence. These were things she wanted to talk to Splin about.

Yet here she was, hanging out with the older brother she would usually flash a smile at and expect one in return and probably goof up everyone's breakfast. Compared to the rest of Inkopolis, the park was devoid of any hustle and bustle. For the most part, reserved Inklings just glanced up at the clouds or doodled on benches, nonchalantly. It was strangely serene, but she assumed that it was the entire point of this area. It was like the hills the brothers lived on, only a smaller slice.

"Huh…" She murmured, glancing around a bit.

Sharq just flashed another one of his regular grins. "Nice, isn't it?"

Arching an eyebrow, Ann-Gel glanced towards his face. "Sharq, you've been here before?"

"Nope!" He admitted, beaming as if it were something to be proud of. "I've walked by it on my way to lunch and stuff, but I haven't really gone in myself. It's like something I'd imagine Splin enjoying though."

Without a word, the amiibo just nodded, dangling her legs, still attached to the base of her, plastic orange ink forever splashing up into the air where her Pink Trainers stood. For a moment, Sharq looked around and whistled, walking up towards a shady tree. Ascending a small knoll that rolled across the park in a stationary, wave-like position, he sat underneath the branches shrouding him with cool shadows, sighing in relief.

"Hmm." He hummed, glancing from side to side.

"...Mm." Ann-Gel just hummed along.

For a while, they just sat in the shade. While the grass certainly looked inviting, Ann-Gel had grown quite fond of her shoulder perch. Staring out at the rays of sun that peered through openings in the leaves, silently watching, she started swinging her legs back and forth, the pedestal still following her feet around as they swung to and fro.

"Hey, Ann-Gel." Sharq piped up, glancing in the amiibo's direction.

"Yes?" She muttered, still staring at the sky.

"You have any dreams?" He asked all of a sudden.

The amiibo tensed up, biting her lip. She continued to swing her legs, albeit with a hint of awkwardness this time around.

Sharq seemed to notice, eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Really? Nothing?"

Ann-Gel just glanced away, lowering her head into her lap. "...I don't really think so."

"Why not? Everyone has some sort of dream." He spoke up, "Well, I mean, not just the sleeping kind. I've never seen you napping that much."

As small as a statement that was, Ann-Gel suddenly felt a tinge of annoyance. She slept! Sure, if "sleeping" was standing up straight, eyes closed for the duration of the night, then yes. She did, indeed sleep.

Regardless of the technicalities of the trophy's sleeping habits, Sharq continued. "You know, something to look forward too. Something that you work for, like a job, except...Um, you get paid with happiness, right?"

"...I guess." She spoke up.

She did know what aspirations and dreams were. She just did not know what she wanted to do. She did not know what she could do anymore, for crying out loud. Ann-Gel felt like shouting at Sharq, but at the same time held against it. He did not know what being an amiibo was like.

Huffing, Sharq, crossed his arms. "I'm pretty sure you have a dream, you just don't want to tell me. It's alright."

Again, Ann-Gel held her annoyance in. She grit her teeth, closed her eyes, and sighed, reassuring herself that Sharq was just trying to be nice.

"How about this?" He spoke up suddenly, his Takoroka Mesh bobbing up. "I can tell you my dream! But you know, you'll have to tell me yours in exchange."

"...Sure." Ann-Gel muttered, her hands folding into her miniature pockets.

"I wanna be the president!"

The amiibo almost fell over the back of Sharq's shoulder and would have plummeted towards the grass headfirst had it not been for her pedestal holding onto the edge of his shirt collar. Her arms spun around to keep her balance, but it was not doing a great job. The edge of the platform began to slip off. Grunting, she grabbed hold of the White Anchor Tee's collar with both hands and pulled, letting her pedestal swing off the side with her legs. Gasping for breath, she climbed back up to Sharq's shoulder, staring at him incredulously.

Unlike before, Sharq's glare was directed towards Ann-Gel, it was that of an untapped disappointment.

"..." He glared a hole in her face, or at least he would have if he had heat vision.

Ann-Gel took a step back on the shoulder but made sure not to slip off of the edge. "Whoa, whoa! Sharq, no, that's cool! That's fine!"

Sharq's glare seemed to harden somewhat more considerably, as if he was trying to figure out a spot to bury the trophy in the park. Ann-Gel folded her hands together and crossed her legs and glanced off into every corner of the park imaginable. Any corner that avoided Sharq's fierce mien, of course.

But then, Sharq just sighed. "...It's okay. I get it. You don't think I'm cut out for it, huh?"

Eyes growing wide, Ann-Gel turned back towards the larger Inkling. "Oh, no, it's a great dream, it's just-"

"I know, right!" Sharq grinned, glancing up to the sky.

She nearly fell over again. "...Yeah, uh-huh. You seem rather confident."

Sharq blinked, staring back at Ann-Gel. "Well, it's a little more than just a fancy job."

"Oh?" She arched an eyebrow, hands on her hips.

"Yeah. I don't just wanna become a president just because." He spoke up with a less jolly demeanor than usual, only further piquing Ann-Gel's interest. "There's still a lot of things that need fixing here. Like people's attitudes towards other people. I mean, Tai and all of the other octopuses…They're still stuck down in Octo Valley, right?"

The amiibo's eyes lit up. She had seen the invasive Octoling troop who would occasionally lay around the house on a pile of comforter, yawning and snuggling into the mattress like it was the most important thing in the world to her. Now, the concept of Octo Valley was somewhat familiar to her, after all, she did host missions there. Once. But the idea of a whole different people suffering? Had not quite crossed her mind.

She waited patiently as Sharq continued with a sigh. "...When I was little, I had to watch Splin a lot. Mom and Dad went off one day, telling me something about a problem they needed to take care of. I wasn't that old at the time. But when they left Splin and I alone…That was it. He was the only family I had left, and I was his."

Staring up at the sun, Sharq pursed his lips. "We were left food and money and stuff...But we had so much of that already. Heck, sometimes I think Splin and I are kinda spoiled. We didn't have to go to school or anything like the others. We just somehow got off well. Now, here we are…"

He turned to the amiibo on his shoulder and smiled brightly. "With a bunch of different friends and a whole bunch of adventures. I want to give everyone a chance like that. THAT'S why I wanna be the president!"

Sitting there on his shoulder, Ann-Gel found herself with a lack of words. Well, it was rather that she was somewhat awestruck. This was quite literally the first she had heard the brothers' situation in a clear sense. It was not explained by Splin either. His older, friendlier, dopier brother had just said all of that. She found herself smiling.

"...Is it still silly? I mean, it is going to be pretty hard..." Sharq arched an eyebrow, rubbing his chin with his right index finger. "Man, I thought that I made some pretty good points."

"No, far from it Sharq." She beamed up at the larger Inkling. "That was...That was great."

As if he were a mirror, he reflected her beaming face. "Alright! Well, now it's your turn."

"...Uh?" Ann-Gel murmured.

Sharq smiled and started to lay down on the dirt on his chest. "Yeah! What's your dream? C'mon, I told you mine!"

"...I, uh…" She muttered, mulling over her thoughts. _"Oh geez. What do I say? That I want to be a real girl or something? Uh...Huh. What DO I want?"_

It was at that moment, while she attempted to think of something, anything, she noticed a glint in front of her. Narrowing her eyes, she diverted her stare towards the sidewalk that weaved through the park. There was something shining in a sizable crack in the sidewalk. ...One or two of them. All of a sudden, curiosity got the better of her. Hopping off of Sharq's arm, she landed on the soft grass below and began sprinting- Or, uh, sliding down the knoll towards the sidewalk.

Sharq scowled, crossing his arms. "Hey! That's not fair."

"I'll get back to you on that, Sharq! Sorry, but I need to check this out." She spoke up, walking over towards the concrete as she hit the bottom of the hill.

Although unhappy that the promise was put on hiatus, Sharq sighed and followed suit, changing into a blue squid, sliding down the hill. The two Inklings slowly advanced on the shining objects embedded in the sidewalk, Ann-Gel's suspicion rising. Perhaps it was just a collection of loose change or something someone dropped, but she was still going to take a glance. There was something familiar about this…

Stopping in front of the objects, she reached her small hand towards them, taking hold of the smooth surface. Grunting, she attempted to dislodge the mystery items, but to no avail. In her frustration she did not notice Sharq reaching over her, up until the part where he brought his hand down and gripped the objects in his palm.

"Oh!" She squeaked as she backed away from the larger appendage. "Right, thanks."

"No problem," He grunted as he tried to pull out the objects stuck in the floor, "But you still have to tell me something! It's a promise, remember."

Ann-Gel simply nodded, staring at the strange material curiously. It was a circular, flat coin-shaped object, but it was large. There was something attached, something vaguely familiar. Before she could take any guesses, however, Sharq lifted the mystery objects free of their concrete prison with a yank. Grinning in triumph, as he stopped to take a look at them, his face lit up even more so.

"What? What is it?" The female amiibo spoke up, staring at his hand eagerly.

Smiling, Sharq just started lowering his hand. "See for yourself."

Frowning, Ann-Gel was just about to ask him what he meant. Before she could say a word, Sharq placed one of the objects on the ground. Ann-Gel froze. She stared at it...More specifically, him. She was not sure what to feel. Happiness, confusion, it was a blur of feelings. There was one fact that was apparent.

There was another Inkling. He was like her. Blue tentacles and plastic eyes, blinking back at her from a miniature pedestal.

"Uh...Hi. My name's Seamond. Care for a challenge?"

* * *

AN: Yeah that's one of the longer chapters I've put out in a while. Hoo, boy. I feel accomplished. But now I'd hope that it was worth it, what with all of the sudden exposition.

Also, a friend of mine pointed out that Phish being in the Great Turf War is confusing because it was like, one-hundred years old. Never fret, that will hopefully be explained if my "real life" issues don't use up anymore of the precious spare time I need for these stories. Goodness me, with the delayed upload schedule, I think you can kinda tell that it is already pretty much a pain in the butt to do anything anymore without anything interrupting you. Quite a shame.

Ignoring that, thanks Ultrapyre, write n wrong, and CathyMirii for reviewing!

I mean, I would not make a main character completely self-absorbed, Ultrapyre. Unless I wanted to continue with making Ari a complete jerk like in the older chapters, now that would have been different. I do want to try to make most of my characters sympathetic to a degree where you can still laugh at their silliness while still shoving in a bit of "plot", if you can call the bizarre events in this story that.

write n wrong, thanks once again, the orphan card was one I wanted to pull for a while. But Splin and Sharq still having parents to a certain extent may not have been the way to go. So, dear Chi with a still mostly ambiguous past (at the moment) would have to do.

Finally, last but not least, thanks CathyMirii for the review of both the story and my Gmod posing. I'm more of an amateur at the whole posing business, but I'm glad that people still enjoy that. Makes the one hour of agonizing Octoling arm moving worth it.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you.


	55. amiibro 2

**Thanks for the cameo character Dread Angel. Sheesh, I really need to come up with more original ideas, otherwise this will be the second Bate Bros. story that has other people's ideas taking up a third of the story. That being said, hope you enjoy.**

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **amiibro 2**

Ann-Gel was not sure how to deal with anything anymore. At least, in a serious sense. Throughout the short time she had been with the brothers, almost nothing came to her as a shock anymore. After all, she was something surprising in itself. It is not everyday when you came across another sentient statue. Two, if she counted the weird cat creature sitting by Sharq. Of course, the main course, literally, of this whole escapade that was meant as a relaxing exercise

After the stunning revelation that took place in the park, suddenly Ann-Gel found herself sitting in front of the largest cheeseburger she had seen in her life. It may have had something to do with her own height, but the sandwich that sat on a plate in front of her could have served as a small room for her. She sat atop a tablecloth, sitting across from a smiling Inkling donning a Takoroka Mesh Cap and another statuette with no hat to his name. In front of Seamond, yet another ginormous sandwich sat, towering over him. Sharq was by his side, already gnawing on his own meal happily. Whether or not he noticed that their meals were twice the size of them, it was intimidating nonetheless. Hardly feeling peckish, she turned towards where her newfound Inkling friend sat at.

Seamond was certainly a shocker. His choice of attire was a Zink Layered LS shirt and Purple Hi-Horses for footwear, his blue tentacles tied up into a bun. Blue irises glanced to and fro, curiosity brimming from within. She was somewhat unsure of how to feel about the new plastic Inkling. In her honest opinion, he seemed strange and awkward. Even though she had just "met" him at the park an hour ago...

* * *

"...Seamond?" She repeated slowly, eyes growing wide.

Standing on the cement sidewalk underneath the shadow of Sharq, Seamond blinked confusedly, glancing around. He hummed, taking in the sights of the park as if it were a whole different planet. Sharq stood above them both, a smile creeping up his face. He had something enclosed in the palms of his hands, but he was too busy taking it all in. Then, without warning, he spun directly towards the larger Inkling, humming in an apparent interest.

"Hello." He spoke up to the larger Inkling. "Are you supposed to be my owner?"

That seemed to make Sharq smirk somewhat. "Uh, no. I don't think so…"

Seamond glowered at Sharq, eyebrows narrowing furthermore. Sharq's smirk was replaced with an equally curious expression, the two having somewhat of a stare-off, and Seamond did not look happy about participating in it. Did he say something to offend him?

However, instead of exploding in anger, he simply responded to their unnerved glares with, "So...again, would you like to try a challenge or two?"

A wave of nostalgia washed over Ann-Gel immediately. She was not the only one anymore. Challenges from a little Inkling statuette. It was almost like looking into a mirror. A deadpan, alternate gender mirror, however. She was growing more and more unsure by the minute.

However, Ann-Gel was willing to put her surprise and concern to the side, and so, she cleared her throat, attracting the attention of the other amiibo, who turned to her with yet another confused mien. "Um, hi! You're an amiibo too, right? My name's Ann-Gel."

A few seconds passed, and Ann-Gel admittedly felt as though it was a mistake. Instead of showing even a sliver of interest, Seamond just gave her a stare as blank as paper itself. Standing besides them, Sharq continued to fidget with whatever else he managed to find in the crack in the sidewalk. If she narrowed her eyes just a bit, she could swear that she spied a violet tendril wriggling out of the palms of his hands. She blinked for just a split second, and then it was gone, as if it were just a trick of lighting. Frowning, she pretended as if she had not seen anything out of the ordinary, turned back to Seamond, and yelped. Jumping back, she noticed Seamond had moved considerably closer, and was offering a hand to shake.

"Pleased to meet you." He spoke in a monotone voice, staring directly at her unblinkingly.

Ann-Gel eyed the hand cautiously. For another amiibo, this was definitely not what she had in mind. He was flat in how he carried himself, he was straight to the point, and he hardly made any movements. He was practically just an emotionless stat-

Biting her lip, Ann-Gel took a moment to glance down at herself and tapped her shirt. It was solid and smooth, what she had eventually learned was the opposite of how a shirt was supposed to feel. "Oh, nevermind."

Tilting his head, the amiibo in question gave her a worried stare as if she were the weirdo in this situation. "...Yes?"

She perked up and stared back at Seamond, then felt her face flush in embarrassment. "Nothing, nevermind."

Clearly there was something strange about the other statuette. Seamond himself could not put his finger on it, and neither could Ann-Gel. Before they could continue the conversation consisting of stares and one-way handshakes, Sharq chimed in with a smile.

"Alright, well, now that you guys have gotten to know each other," He spoke kindly, probably unaware that the most Ann-Gel has gotten out of the conversation was that the blue-tentacled Inkling object liked to stare at others in silence, "How about we talk more at lunch? I'm getting hungry."

Pursing her lips, she glanced over to Seamond, who in turn was staring up at Sharq's face. "Certainly. Though I still believe a challenge or two is in order."

With a grin and a shrug, he stooped down, reaching for the other two, miniscule Inklings. "Hmm. You sound like Ari. Alright, let's go!"

* * *

After a brief walk, soon Ann-Gel found herself, Seamond, and Sharq sitting at a table in a semi-fancy restaurant, next to the biggest meal she could never eat. Among the tables, a waitress wearing a rather Sporty Bobble Hat whirled about, speaking to other sea-life seated, giving them polite menu suggestions and friendly winks before spinning back around, carrying plenty of plates. It was somewhat awe-inspiring to see her work. She had it all, beauty, confidence, and from the sizable tips that she would collect from each satisfied customer, wealth.

Ann-Gel found herself sighing and staring at the tablecloth. _"Ugh...I'm just a trophy."_

"Excuse me miss?"

Had Ann-Gel carried around a jar labeled, "Jolt Jar" which was meant for holding a dollar each for every time she was spurred out of her thinking, she might have enough to buy a pack of gum. It was not much, but it was certainly getting old, maybe she should stop overthinking things-

"Miss...um, trophy? Ahem?" Came the voice again.

"Yes!" Ann-Gel yelped, turning around, glancing at a face glowing with pride and a waitress apron.

Making a sound similar to, "Eep!", Ann-Gel stumbled backwards, falling backwards on her plastic bum. Glancing up, the very same waitress she had been watching roll about as if she were on rollerskates was now staring straight down at her. For a brief moment, she glanced at the untouched sandwich that laid on Ann-Gel's plate. The statuette could feel her face flush in a tangerine color from embarrassment again, despite the fact that she could not bleed or have blood in general.

Nevertheless, she just placed one hand by her hip and shook her head, turning to the Inkling that was more on her size. "Sharq, I think you may have overwhelmed your little friends here."

Across the table, Ann-Gel could see yet another violet tendril wave up and down behind another burger. She frowned, watching the wiggling part move to and fro until it vanished behind the meal. She made a secret promise to herself that she would find out what would be at the end of that.

"Ah, really? Sorry guys." Sharq spoke up, rubbing the back of his head.

Ann-Gel blinked, turning back towards the waitress. She smiled back towards the little amiibo, who waved in response.

"Well, just in case," She spoke up, placing a few small plastic containers in front of the table. "Next time, maybe just a loaf of bread will do, huh?"

Sharq simply shot her a thumbs-up. "Thanks Zip."

"Thank you for paying me, Sharq." She grinned back, whirling off to tables beyond.

As Zip spun away with a hum, the orange trophy sighed, turning back towards the others. Again, Seamond hardly displayed any interest in anything. He did not seem to notice the tower of meat, cheese, and veggies stacked next to him and instead continued staring at Sharq. There was something disturbing about how he stared so intently. Then again, when the only other thing you could attempt to do was nibble on a meal twice your size, she could not blame him for finding an alternative.

Suddenly, he tapped on Sharq's arm that laid on the table. Perking up, the taller Inkling leaned down towards the amiibo, the blue Inkling whispering something in his ear. Smiling once, he nodded and picked up the other amiibo, then took a moment to take the other ambiguous item which was driving her nuts. The wriggling violet tendril annoyed her some more before vanishing within Sharq's hands. Before she could go on another mental tangent about the bizarre appendage, Sharq reappeared at her side, with Seamond perched on his left shoulder. He balanced four boxes in his hands, the purple object still taunting her from behind the stack of small containers and was offering his empty shoulder as if she were a parakeet.

"Hey Ann-Gel, wanna head to the plaza?" Sharq asked while a hopeful glint flashed in his eyes. "I mean, I really want to try these challenges he keeps talking about."

Glancing up at Sharq, she frowned, eyeing his occupied left shoulder. He was just standing there, still not saying a word, staring at her with the blankest of stares. His blue, dead, trophy eyes were starting to make Ann-Gel uncomfortable. For a moment, she wondered if that was what others thought of her.

She shook her head immediately. _"Nah…"_

"Ann-Gel?" Sharq piped up, eyeing the daydreamer curiously, "You alright?"

All of a sudden, the female amiibo just hopped up onto his spare shoulder, leaning on his neck. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Oh, alright! Well, do you mind if we hang out in the plaza?" He asked with a tilt of his head, nodding towards the male amiibo.

Again, Ann-Gel was just made much more uncomfortable by the other amiibos blank stare. He continually glanced at her as if she were disfigured, and that just made her more irritated. But in the end, there was hardly a chance that this amiibo would hurt anyone, right? She just shrugged and gave a short nod to the taller Inkling. Without hesitation, Sharq made his way out of the restaurant, balancing the stack of food containers carefully as he made it out the door. On his shoulders all throughout the way outside, the two statuettes stared each other down, hardly letting up on the way there.

* * *

Stepping one foot into the plaza, still grasping onto the food somewhat shakily, Sharq made his way over to a wooden bench. The sky was growing darker and heavier with clouds that blocked out the sun. On the neon green Inkopolis Tower standing tall above, the Great Zapfish frowned towards the sky. Either it was disappointed with the outcome of the clouds today, or it was just stuck in a perpetual frown. Regardless of Zapfish, the plaza was still bustling with activity, Inklings brushing past in every which way, from the Inkopolis Tower or the Booyah Base, each and every single squid in sight was moving with haste.

Of course, that just meant more trouble for Sharq. Getting the food over the small but nevertheless tricky barrier that surrounded the plaza was hard enough, but attempting to ford the flood of Inklings that spun around hyperactively was also a bit troublesome. Plus, hungry glares shot from a handful that noticed was starting to creep him out. After a few scolding words from Ann-Gel, the Inklings managed to make way for the bizarre squid in the Takoroka Mesh, but it could have just been due to Ann-Gel's own bizarre appearance.

Which only served in annoying her further. _"These people have seen Sharq and Splin fall from the sky! What's the matter with me?! I'm just trying to relax_ "

"Well, here we are!" Sharq announced, setting down the boxes of food, (and the purple thing, Ann-Gel presumed) wiping his brow free of sweat, "We're at...this box."

Looking up, Ann-Gel immediately felt a tinge of nostalgia. There was a plastic box, with the word, "amiibo" written on the front in a language long since forgotten. She hummed, though worry still plagued her mind. It was more of an instinct rather than a direct caution at this point. There was something definitely up, and it was not just the overcast sky.

She took another glance at their new acquaintance. _"Hmm."_

Or at least, she would have if he were still on Sharq's shoulder. Her statue instincts kicked in, prompting her to stand perfectly still, a shocked expression planted on her face. The orange Inkling Girl's eyes traced the world around her, and her paranoia simultaneously caused her to grip the nearest object which she could use as a weapon.

"Ow!" Sharq yelped, reaching below his chin.

Which happened to be the organic Inkling's scruff. Gritting his teeth, Sharq gently plucked Ann-Gel's miniature hands off of the nape of his neck, giving her a worried stare.

"Ann-Gel? Are you alright?" He muttered, rubbing his chin with a worried mien. "I mean, besides pinching me, you haven't said a word, now that I think about it."

The words sent shivers up her spine. Wait. Reaching back for a moment, Ann-Gel tapped her back. Frowning, she realized that whether she had a spine or not, it was pretty much impossible to feel anything past the plastic skin she had. But nevertheless, her nerves were frayed at this point. She wanted to shout out and rant. She wanted to point fingers at their new amiibo friend and tell Sharq that they should toss him in the trash. She wanted to scream.

"A-" She started weakly.

"Excuse me."

"YEEEEEEEP!" Ann-Gel yelped, swiftly deciding to cover her mouth with her two hands out of sheer embarrassment.

Her head swiveled towards the floor. She was met with another curious stare from the other amiibo. She felt herself gasp for breath and fall to Sharq's shoulder, breathless despite having no real lungs to begin with.

As the other Inkling basically had a panic attack on his own body, Sharq turned to Seamond, concern plain on the cap-wearing Inkling's face. "Uh, Seamond, maybe we should do this later. Ann-Gel is kinda...um, dying?"

It was far from that, but from the way she wheezed on by his face, it was apparent that something was off. As she coughed her breath and anxiety out one awkward puff at a time, she tried to manage a glare, but found herself practically stuck in a loop of catching and losing her breath. She was angry at him for nothing, and yet she felt herself unable to say anything except for, "Hhhhhaaaaaa…". She might look back on that and come to a conclusion that she was overreacting, but for now, all she could do was curse Seamond mentally and hack as if she were Judd who had eaten a bad piece of sushi.

Said cat yowled in his sleep in the background.

Seamond analyzed the odd amiibo, scrunching his face up. After a brief moment of consideration, and much to Ann-Gel's surprise, he nodded knowingly and said, "Alright. Let's let her rest somewhere."

At the end of her bout of coughs, all of a sudden she ceased her coughs and rose to her feet in an instant. "No, no, I'm fine!"

The last part came out a bit louder than she hoped. Curious gazes were shot in her general direction by Inkling and jellyfish bystander that had waltzed into the plaza at their own leisure. Her mouth remained gaped open, and for the first time quite a while, she was at a loss for words.

Unless you counted the several times she was left at home alone.

Face shifting to orange, she turned towards the sky. "Don't you have something you need to do?!"

I'm doing it.

Scowling, the orange statuette just turned back towards the other amiibo. The other, smiling amiibo. Ann-Gel's eyes grew in size yet again. He was grinning at her. Ann-Gel's eyebrows furrowed, and a brief flash of violence flashed across her train of thought. She wanted nothing more than to wipe that smile off of his smug face.

So she thought, but soon, the words that came out of his mouth made her reluctant. "Are you alright? You scared me for a second there."

"Oh, yeah? Uh-" She started, her hand deflating in fierceness almost immediately. "Wait."

Taking up a seat next by the plastic cube, Seamond just shrugged, giving her another smile. "Of course, if you're still feeling under the weather, we can always leave."

Dumbfounded, Ann-Gel just sat on her artificial ink covered pedestal. "Well, I-"

"Yeah Ann-Gel! If you wanna head home, just ask! After all, we came here in the first place to take your mind off things." Sharq beamed, giving her a playful smirk.

She began to sweat, looking from each male Inkling's face. This was practically an ambush of innocence with an angry orange trophy in the center. Try as she might, she wanted to get angry somehow, but she still could not find a solid reason. Keeping her cooped up inside for most of her sentient life? She was only a few inches tall. Not the friend he expected him to be? She had just met Seamond today. For the umpteenth time that day, Ann-Gel could do nothing but let herself ease up and relax, her glare softening.

"...No, I'm sorry." She sighed, waving him off. "I'm just a little…"

She shrugged once and stared at the asphalt, letting her arms flop to her sides. Glancing towards one another, the other Inklings shrugged as well. Walking over towards the nearest wooden bench, Sharq stopped a few centimeters away and eyed the bench suspiciously. Ann-Gel arched an eyebrow in curiosity as she hung from his sleeve. Reaching out with one finger pointed towards the wooden seat, he tapped the bench once, then proceeded to duck for cover a short distance away, switching into a blue squid.

Finding herself hugging onto a squid's tentacle again, Ann-Gel took the time to ask, "Why?"

Blinking once, Sharq reverted back to his Inkling form and dusted himself off, giving her a sheepish smirk. "You can never be too careful? Anyways," He said, returning to the bench, lowering his right arm down towards the wood, "Feel free to call for help if you need any! I'll just check out the challenges and get back, alright?"

With a very slight smile, Ann-Gel managed to nod at him. With a gleeful grin, Sharq jogged off towards the box, greeting Seamond with a wave. Though she could not hear them from the bench, she could see Seamond say something, which Sharq definitely understood. Reaching into his pockets, the taller Inkling pulled out a Gamepad, the screen flashing in an instant. Soon enough, he was most certainly directed to tap the screen, the Bate brother vanishing in a blink of light as soon as he did.

Leaning her head back on the wood, Ann-Gel laid there, staring up at the sky. "I guess I was just overreacting."

" _Not exactly."_ A voice echoed in her mind.

Scowling, Ann-Gel shook her head. "Voice, I really-"

That wasn't me.

Still sitting with a frown on her face, she began glancing around the plaza once more. No one seemed to take too much notice of her, from the Great Zapfish to the shop owners standing inside of their shining stores. Eventually, she remembered the morsels tucked away in their safe little containers, and at the prospect of Sharq getting robbed, she spun around towards the leaning tower of hamburgers.

Her mouth gaped in awe. The violet tendril that continually pestered her throughout the day was now fully exposed. It was not just some random noodle-like structure, it was a tail. A tail that belonged to a strange, cat-like creature. It was not chubby or furry like Judd, rather, it was slender and pinkish, standing tall on two feet, the odd creature's violet trail extending from its back. On the soles of its ball-like feet, there laid a shining trophy stand. As it turned around, violet eyes revealed themselves to Ann-Gel, overlooking her with somewhat of a humor dancing in its menacing mien.

" _You let him overtake the boy already."_ The cat "spoke", its cold voice echoing in Ann-Gel's mind. _"How amusing."_

She did not know what to say. The strange feline gazed at her with somewhat of a morose glare, which may have made her shrink in fear. Instead, she began to walk. Making her way across the bench, she hopped down onto the cement with a clunk, then continued to walk. The fellow amiibo across from her would have arched an eyebrow if it had any. Her stride stopped at the point where she stood face to face with the strange creature.

Then, she reached out and gripped its tail, petting it multiple times. "Hah! I finally got you!"

The cat just closed its eyes, mentally sighing. _"Of course. Ignore my warning and rub my tail. Yes, that's exactly what I needed."_

* * *

AN: These workloads grow larger every year, I tell you. As if the paperwork was not bad enough, taking a look back into The Bate Brothers' Adventures, the original story, I just realized how Gary Stu-like the brothers were back then and the plot conveniences. I had originally played it off as humor, but now I realize that quite a few of the things I have implemented are kinda...corny and/or cringy, to say the least. Remember when Splin and Sharq completely beat a team of four by themselves without getting splatted and they were never brought up to be good at Turf Wars again? Yeah.

That self-evaluation out of the way, let's take a look at some reviews. Thanks Ultrapyre, Rynowm, write n wrong, and sebastian G for reviewing!

I have to say, I'm somewhat sorry I never got to this sooner, Ultrapyre. Honestly, there's a whole lot of other untapped lore that I would like to add to this set of stories, but like I have said with another fellow writer elsewhere, it may never get truly integrated due to time and work constraints. Then again, I did manage to get The Drafted Squid up and running, and people seem to like that…

Rynowm, I apologize for initially not mentioning you as the one who suggested another Ann-Gel chapter. Sorry for that.

write n wrong, perhaps she did, and perhaps she did not. That's one thing we'll have to look at next chapter.

Finally, sebastian G, nice to see you again. Thanks for chiming in with a positive review, I suppose!

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you.


	56. Greeting the Soul Stealer (amiibro)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Greeting the Soul Stealer**

For the past minute or so, Ann-Gel had not said a word since the bizarre feline creature hopped out of its hiding place. She was so stunned, so inconceivably shocked by its words.

Also, apparently, very fond of its tail.

She continued to pet the tail even after the animal expressed its distaste in her actions. It was hardly a matter of infatuation with the cat. She was just glad she finally managed to catch the appendage. Of course, the only suitable way to flaunt her success would be to continually caress the tail, which only really served in annoying the odd creature. After a minute of being pet however, the tail wrapped around Ann-Gel's arms, preventing her from making another move.

Turning around, the cat started glaring straight at Ann-Gel. _"Are you finished?"_

Ann-Gel blinked, smiling sheepishly at the other trophy. "Oh, right…I'm sorry." She cleared her throat, the tail untying itself from around her arms. "You were saying?"

The cat just shook its head with another mentally delivered sigh. _"Inklings. I cannot understand why they decided that creating a race made from humanoid squids would be a good marketing idea."_ Then the feline hesitated, glancing at itself. _"Then again, I suppose I wouldn't be here if bizarre design choices were not the case."_

Tilting her head, Ann-Gel bit her lip. "...I don't follow."

" _Nevermind."_ The strange cat replied with a shake of its head. _"You've already sent the boy to his doom. So, I suppose there really isn't anything to say or do here."_

With all that said, both the amiibo and its trophy stand connecting its feet began to lift off of the ground, much to Ann-Gel's surprise. As it rose into the stratosphere, the other amiibo desperately leaped up, gripping the base of the trophy stand. Her added weight seemed to prevent him from flying any farther upwards, although the irritated glaze in the feline's eye may have proven otherwise.

"Hold on! You can't just leave yet!" Ann-Gel spoke up, attempting to pull downwards.

With a flick of its tail, it smacked away Ann-Gel's hands. Letting go instantly, she dropped down onto the floor. Rubbing her plastic hands, she scowled up at the bizarre creature, who lowered itself to the ground with an air of arrogance.

Gulping nervously, Ann-Gel quickly cleared her throat and spoke up again. "I mean, what do you mean by, 'doomed'? You've said it twice now."

" _Ah, yes."_ The other amiibo 'spoke' to her. _"Let me get straight to the point. Seamond abducts people."_

"...What?!" Ann-Gel shouted, eyes growing wide.

* * *

An iron spawn-pad, the dish filled with blue ink, rotated multiple times in circles like a whirlpool, long steel platforms floating to and fro in the nearby air. Rocky mountain formations surrounded the old steel walkways that hovered in the air. Emerging from the spawn-point's blue ink, Takoroka Mesh first, was Sharq. A jolly smile plain on his face as he hefted a roller of sorts over his shoulders. The roller frame was completely black and adorned with several glowing blue spots, with the roller cover sharing the same design as the frame that held it aloft. Stuck to the side of the roller frame was a small black box displaying a set of zeros.

An odometer, ready to record.

"Alright!" Sharq smirked, "What now, Seamond?"

"I'm glad you decided to participate, Sharq." Seamond's voice spoke, permeating the air around him, a tinge of optimism added to his previously robotic speech. "The missions are simple, run ahead and retrieve the Zapfish at the very end. Simple, right?"

* * *

Staring at the odd cat creature incredulously, Ann-Gel shook her head and gawked at him. "Are you-"

" _Yes. And, for any other questions in your mind relating to him floating about in your plastic head, yes."_ It spoke, the voice ringing about in her head.

Ignoring the jab, Ann-Gel glared at the other statuette. "So he KIDNAPPED Sharq?"

" _In layman's terms, yes."_ The cat standing on two legs spoke.

Furrowing her brow while her eyes began glaring straight down at her pedestal, Ann-Gel huffed. "I knew it." Suddenly, something flashed in her eyes as she switched her glare towards the other amiibo. "Wait a minute, YOU didn't say anything!"

The purple tail on the amiibo twitched. The cat's mouth curled downwards, the other amiibo walking off towards the large plastic box with "amiibo" plastered on it. _"I'm powerless here. It doesn't help that he's practically got my life on a leash."_

Shuffling forward, dragging her pedestal across the hard cement, Ann-Gel bit her lip, barely preventing her from shouting. "What do you mean?"

The odd feline raised its oddly spherical shaped fingers into the air for a second. The atmosphere surrounding them grew tense, as if a thick layer of static electricity buzzed around them. It might have been intimidating. Except for the fact that it lasted for about a full minute. If Ann-Gel did not know better…

Blinking as if she had drifted off to sleep, Ann-Gel just glared back at the other amiibo questioningly. "What did you do?"

" _Well,"_ The other trophy began, _"I was going to lift you up using the power of the mind."_

Ann-Gel wanted to scoff and call his bluff, for the sole purpose of feeling right. But one, she needed to know more, and two, she had just prevented him from levitating a few moments prior. Silently, she glanced at the other amiibo and gave it a curt nod, waiting patiently.

Eyes closing, the other amiibo began speaking in its own, mental way. _"But never mind my prowess of the mental arts. If we are to stop this menace from claiming any further victims, we must act fast."_

"...Yeah, well it would help if I knew what he did wrong first." Ann-Gel spoke with a scowl. "Like, you keep saying he abducts people. And…?"

Furrowing his brow, the hairless cat made a mental sneer, which Ann-Gel found extremely confusing. _"He steals souls for his own amusement, of course."_

* * *

"Whoa!" Sharq exclaimed as he rose out of the spawn-point.

Squinting his eyes, raising his hand flat over his optics, Sharq gazed across several leagues of violet ink, dirt and weeds, and several other generic, rusting platforms. Gazing across the mess, there laid a single prison of sorts, a golden barrier of energy resembling a light-bulb sat across the expanse of flat, slick with purple platforms, where some form of a stuffed animal sat, electricity buzzing around the sphere it was encased in.

Of course, to Sharq peering curiously in the other direction, it closely resembled a yellow speck. "Alright, well, I guess that makes sense."

As he took one step forward, the male amiibo's voice popped in again. "Oh, and there is one more thing that I would like to add."

* * *

"What?" Ann-Gel poked at the motionless amiibo standing across from her.

" _You heard me."_ It spoke in a cold tone.

" _Well, you technically didn't speak."_ She thought to herself.

At least, so she thought, but the frown that was shot at her immediately indicated that it was not the case. _"You're lucky I'm speaking at all. Honestly, as if your kind releasing late into the Wii U's lifespan wasn't destructive enough."_

Despite her best efforts, Ann-Gel found herself unable to wonder what he was saying. As par the course, the amiibo glared at her once more. As irritating as it was getting, she wanted to know what was happening, right down to each and every detail.

Clearing her throat, which seemed redundant considering the other entity's form of communication, she continued. "Okay, so kidnapping. Souls. Yeah, alright, how do we stop that?"

" _Hmm. Uncertain."_ The feline murmured through her mind.

Ann-Gel cocked an eyebrow at it as it pondered. "Uncertain…?"

" _Uncertain if you have what it takes."_ It spoke in her mind.

* * *

"Hmm?" Sharq hummed curiously, glancing towards the sky.

"These sets of obstacles are one of a kind. Randomly generated, as they put it." His voice echoed.

A curious frown crossed the Inkling's face. As if he wanted to test fate, he stepped forward, humming. Stepping over onto the platform adjacent to his spawn-point, he continued to walk. Up until the point when the ground began to shake. Sharq started ripping his roller for balance as the earth underneath him vibrated dangerously, glancing around cautiously. Then, as quickly as it happened, it stopped, prompting Sharq to stand up straight.

Taking another careful glance around, Sharq just smiled. "Oh. Well, that wasn't so-"

The platform he stood on began shaking rapidly, until it rocketed up into the air. Sharq yelled as he was flung into the air, with the ground under him showing no signs of stopping. Making sure to keep a good hold onto his cap, his weapon, and hopefully his lunch, he continued on skywards.

* * *

Ann-Gel gave the other amiibo another scowl, moving closer and closer. "Look, just this morning I was doing absolutely nothing. Up until Sharq decided to take me outside. And now YOU are telling me that he's practically calamari?"

" _That's affirmative."_ The other amiibo spoke again, the feline's violet eyes boring holes in her, and despite her best efforts, could not help but feel somewhat intimidated. _"Unless you plan on leaving."_

She shot back a glare of her own. "Heck no. Tell me what I need to do."

With another sigh that seemed to persevere throughout her mind for quite a while, the other amiibo floated over towards the much larger plastic amiibo box, its eyes shut in thought. _"It's not as simple as you may think. First, you would need to find a suitable method of travelling. Some form of technology-"_

"There's the Gamepad Sharq left behind." Ann-Gel commented.

With a frown, the floating amiibo gawked downwards. Sitting at the base of the plastic box was the single-screened controller with several buttons and control sticks built in it. Ann-Gel stood at the side, barely concealing a smirk.

" _...That will work fine."_ Ann-Gel was not sure how, but he answered in a mental snarl. Was that bitterness she detected?

A quick peek at the screen on the Gamepad just made her feel worse. As she leaned over, she noticed several of the missions normally labeled on the pad. Something within her memory clicked; multiple amiibo challenges were already finished, with checkmarks stuck to the sides of the pictures of Octarian troops and weapons. However, underneath all of the colorful menaces, there were several other boxes with mission content. At least, at a first glance, but as she viewed the missions, she realized most of them were blank or pitch black. They continually expanded the list, one new "mission" after the other.

" _This isn't normal."_ She thought, crossing her arms.

" _Do you understand now?"_ The other amiibo chimed in. _"This is how he traps them. They will never be able to finish. They try until they die, basically"_

She was speechless. Mission after mission popped up, all of them completely bare of any picture indicating its true intentions. But considering the fact that they multiplied like flies, Ann-Gel knew something was definitely amiss.

"How do I help." Ann-Gel muttered, eyes scanning each and every mission that popped up.

" _Hm?"_ The cat hummed in curiosity.

Spinning around on her trophy pedestal, Ann-Gel glared up at the feline. "You heard me. I think. How do I help?"

Its eyes narrowed curiously. _"Really? You realize you could most likely die. Or...whatever equivalent you beings have to dying."_

With a scowl, Ann-Gel piped up again. "I don't care! Look, my life isn't exactly glamorous. But that doesn't mean I'll leave Sharq behind to get splatted!"

" _I never asked for your life story."_ The other amiibo shut its eyes impatiently.

"I'm going to ask you one last time. How. Do. I. Help?" Ann-Gel asked, arms straightening firmly at her sides.

The trophy stared down at the Inkling Girl amiibo standing on the pavement. She was glaring, but something in her eyes betrayed her glare. Something more was driving this girl. Narrowing its eyes, it surfed through her mind, searching through her plastic head. Memories, though scarce and few, numbered among the many. Images blinked back through his mind. Black cement. A face of another Inkling wearing headphones. A smile or two. Grimacing, it attempted to look through more memories. All of a sudden, the images stopped flashing in its mind.

With a frown, he stared at the orange tentacled Inkling on the ground below him. _"...How intriguing,"_ He pondered to himself. _"Not a history to be seen."_

As Ann-Gel stood by the Gamepad, she began to grow impatient, until finally, "Alright. You know what? I don't need your help. I'm saving Sharq."

Reaching out to the screen, hesitation growing in the pits of her plastic as she glanced down at the several replicating missions popping up. Shaking her head, she reached forward, sliding her trophy pedestal towards the glowing screen, beads of orange sweat dripping down her face.

" _Don't."_

Eyes lighting up, Ann-Gel glanced up at the other trophy as it hovered down from its spot adjacent to the walls of the plaza.

Stamping her foot on the floor in irritation, she raised a finger to point at the other statuette. She may not have had psychic powers, but for what it was worth, she was angry. "Okay, you know what?!"

As if amused by the declaration, it descended a short distance off towards the walls of the plaza, where a doodle was graffitied onto the dark canvas. _"What?"_

"You've done almost nothing this entire day. You didn't warn Sharq, the closest you've ever come to help me is by telling me that Seamond is a psychopath- I mean, I already kinda guessed-" She began to ramble.

The other amiibo rolled its eyes. _"Shame, I was hoping to add a positive accomplishment by telling you not to touch the screen."_

"Wha-" She began, small fingers gracing the top of the screen.

A buzzing noise began the emanate from the controller. Eyes widening in an instant, she pulled her hand away. The controller buzzed, and the screen began swirling. It was not unlike a black hole, as the screen warped in an unpleasant fashion rapidly, the colors of the multiple mystery challenges appearing as they wanted to swallow her hand. Staring at the bizarre spectacle, she turned towards the cat standing upright.

" _Well?"_ It spoke up in her head, the smirk practically taking up space in her head.

Dumbfounded, Ann-Gel stood next to the swirling vortex currently attempting to absorb her soul.

" _If you really want to save the boy, I recommend not touching the whirlpool."_ It pointed with its right hand, its three sphere-shaped fingers gesturing towards the controller. _"On the left side of the Gamepad, there is a pair of gray rectangles imprinted on it. Step on it using your trophy pedestal."_

"...My pedestal?" She gulped, glancing down at the orange ink that stayed in a constant splash form.

Narrowing its eyes yet again, the feline made a hissing noise in her mind. Maybe it was meant to be a scolding. _"We are not confined to these weights without reason. Go on. If you wish."_

She blinked once and rubbed her eyes as she briefly wondered if this was some sort of trick. However, the look the other amiibo was giving her was definitely not one of a prankster's grin. It was a cold, yet somewhat eager stare, as if it was saying, "I don't care if you die, but you'd better get moving." Ann-Gel had decided quite a long time ago that her life was pretty boring. But hey, a death deadly journey into who knows where to try and find Sharq? Perhaps it was just the vacation she needed.

Hopping up over to the left side of the controller, she wobbled slightly, though managed to keep from plummeting into the abyss by tipping over into the screen. Gazing backwards, she waved towards the other amiibo.

" _Thanks...you...?"_ She thought as she stared.

" _Some refer to me as Frieza."_ It spoke simply, blinking with a nostalgic sigh following. _"Though, if it's simpler, you can just refer to me as Mewtwo."_

She was not sure how that would be easier. Both names sounded foreign, to say the least. Regardless, she shuffled over towards the spot on the Wii U Gamepad where the rectangles of sorts were painted on. Looking over towards the Mewtwo, she felt as though the world were fading around her. Color and details were soon replaced with a bright light, up until the point where she could not see nor hear anything but white and buzzing as she was spirited away.

* * *

As Ann-Gel's vision cleared, she had somewhat hoped that everything would be much more comfortable than she suspected it to be. Of course, that would just be thoughtful thinking. Feeling the familiar weight of a floor materialize beneath her shoes, she blinked, looking straight ahead. The room was dim, a cubic interior surrounding her. Despite the dim lighting, Ann-Gel could make out something just ahead of her. A figure, two short tentacles wrapped in a band, blue in color, stood in front of a set of television screens stuck to the side of the wall, fixated on the action.

"...Fascinating." He muttered, watching the screens intently.

From behind, Ann-Gel could just barely make out the point of interest on one of the screens. Squinting her eyes, she noticed a familiar Takoroka Mesh cap running about in the middle of them all, rolling around with a Splat Roller of sorts, a thick trail of blue following behind him. On the other screens however, there was little of substance happening. One was a disconcerting picture of a splotch of ink. At least, Ann-Gel thought so, until a shirt floated to the top of the sludge. A few of the other screens showed similar other scenes, all ending with the remains of Inklings. If you can count thin, colored stains remains. With a bead of sweat dripping down the side of her face down one of her tentacles, Ann-Gel attempted to advance on the other Inkling amiibo as he took in the sights.

"Wouldn't you agree, Ann-Gel?" Seamond spoke aloud to the room.

She hesitated, pausing behind him. "Huh?"

Turning around slowly, Seamond blinked once, a wicked grin stuck to his face.

"...I knew there was something wrong with you from the start." Ann-Gel muttered as she glared at him.

With a frown, Seamond crossed his arms. "Really? I thought I did a decent job of masking my intentions."

Briefly, Ann-Gel thought back to the many, many blank stares she received throughout the day. "...No. Not really."

"Well, it's not like it matters much." He shook his head, turning back towards the screen, grinning at Sharq, blissfully unaware of the amiibos as he forged forwards. "But I am glad that you arrived."

"Oh yeah?" Ann-Gel scoffed for a brief moment. "Wait...huh?"

With an innocent smile, Seamond nodded, walking away from the screens. "Of course. You and I have something in common."

"Yeah, we're both made of like plastic. I already know. She spoke up, gesturing towards the ceiling.

A frown etched onto his face, he glanced up at the ceiling of the room. As he did, suddenly Ann-Gel charged forward, or shuffled considering her pedestal, and raised her fist. The unsuspecting male Inkling suddenly looked down just as her fist shot out towards him. Unfortunately for Ann-Gel, he caught her punch as it flew towards him.

"Goodness." He murmured, arching an eyebrow at her. "Did you really think I would fall for that?"

"Yes and no. I didn't think you'd be distracted so easily." She grunted, attempting to wrench her hand free from his grasp.

Shaking his head plainly, Seamond smiled back at her, gripping her other hand as well. "Now now. You didn't even get to hear what I've had to say first."

"Like which method I'd prefer my soul to get sucked out with?" She glared. If her legs were not glued to her pedestal, she would no doubt try and kick the other statuette.

He laughed, a smirk stuck on his face. "I see that Mewtwo individual has already told you. I will admit, I have done some rather unsavory things in the past. I offered missions to many different Inklings. I offered amazing rewards, entertaining challenges, so much."

Seamond spun both of them around as if it were a waltz. Trophies may not normally feel nausea, but Ann-Gel definitely was not enjoying the small dance.

"However, there was a pattern between them all." Seamond spoke, his smirk shrinking. "After I had gone out of my way to offer them challenges, they discarded me. They left me behind. I was done and over with, with nothing else to do. They all left me."

Grimacing, Ann-Gel tugged at his hands once more, which somehow did not budge. "Well, Sharq's different. Not everyone-"

Seamond's face hardened. "'Not everyone is like them'. That's what they all said. And in the end…"

The two of them glanced at the screens revealing the several Inkling remnants. Ann-Gel could feel the palms of his hands grow cold. But that could most likely be because none of them could generate body heat.

Turning Ann-Gel back towards him, he smiled in the warmest way a serial killer could. "But you're different. You know the feeling. Your challenges…they're finished, aren't they? If you stay here, you will never have to worry about anyone abandoning you. There will always be someone foolish enough to try. The challenges will never end."

A wave of discomfort began swamping her. Staring over towards the set of monitors, she noticed Sharq slowing his roll somewhat. He began to stare around in confusion as he stood on a segment of a platform covered in dirt. As she glanced at the various different switches and buttons underneath the screens, Ann-Gel noticed a rather large boom microphone sticking out underneath Sharq's screen with a shiny button positioned right by its side.

Feigning a sweet smile, Ann-Gel took up the dance and spun one extra time. For a brief moment, Seamond smiled as well.

Until she spun him again and said, "No thanks."

The sudden spin managed to loosen his grip. As he let go, Ann-Gel kicked at him with her pedestal. Knocked off balance, Seamond fell backwards towards the back wall, his teeth grit as he scrambled to regain balance. Sprinting (again, hard to do with a trophy base stuck to the soles of your shoes) over towards the microphone, Ann-Gel slammed her palm down on the button and let her voice flow.

* * *

Sharq was not exactly having fun. He did not want to admit it for fear of insulting Seamond, but the whole, "randomly generated" thing was really not cutting it out for him. In the past hour, Octarians popped out of absolutely nowhere, platforms moved erratically, and the goal seemed to get farther away. Rolling past several Octocopters stacked on top of each other, dodging the spheres of violet ink, he began slowing down, panting with exhaustion.

"Bleh." He sighed, coughing out a bubble of violet ink. _"This is getting really repetitive."_

Looking straight ahead, he noticed something. The goal was still well ahead of him. With a gulp, he glanced back, expecting the Octocopters to probably blast him in the face as soon as he did. Instead, he was greeted with the spawn-point. Turning back around, he noticed that the distance he traveled looked awfully similar- Oh you get the point.

Sharq realized he had practically been walking in place.

"Aw, what?!" Sharq complained, glaring up at the sky.

Hey man, I'm just the narrator.

Crossing his arms, Sharq had his roller held between the his right elbow, shaking his head in disbelief. "Well...oh. I'm sure if I just...walk forward a bit more I...ugh."

Don't sweat it, squid kid. Just push forward.

"We don't say that anymore though." Sharq spoke up plainly.

Well then, what do you say?

"Uh…" Sharq pursed his lips, walking forward. "Actually, maybe- GAH!"

"Ow!"

Falling over onto his face with a groan, immediately, Sharq regained his footing and scowled, dusting himself off. He glanced around, wondering what form of obstacle had tripped him this time.

"Dude, I'm trying to sleep. Go trip over someone else."

Sharq's eyes grew in surprise. He knew that voice. Staring straight at the ground beneath him, lying in the dirt was a familiar looking octopus. The octopus yawned, stretching its tentacles, humanoid limbs stretching out where the tentacles were until an Octoling appeared in its place.

He could not believe his eyes. "Tai?"

Tai yawned and waved, rubbing her eyes. "Huh. Sharq appearing in my dreams. That's a first." Getting up to her feet, she stretched her arms. "Though with what's been happening lately, I guess anything can happen."

"Tai, where have you been?!" He spoke up incredulously. "We haven't seen you in days!"

"Hmm?" She muttered, wiping her eyes. "Aw. Well, I appreciate your concern, Dream Sharq. Hey, wait, shouldn't you understand, you know, being a figment of my imagination or something?"

Flabbergasted, Sharq just stared up at the sky.

Long story.

"Oh." He shrugged, turning back to Tai. "Well, you've gotta help me Tai! I gotta get over to that Zapfish on the other side!"

Arching an eyebrow, Tai glanced forward. Squinting her eyes, she could barely make out the sight of a yellow force field. Reaching at her neck for something, she grasped nothing but air, much to her irritation.

"Why don't my goggles follow me into dreams but Sharq- Nevermind." She glanced over each and every one of the platforms curiously. "I feel like you could've just...you know, won by now. Doesn't look that hard."

"I don't know how, but I just kept being pushed back! I can't move forward." He commented, patting the dirt with his foot.

"What about Super Jumping?" She murmured, still rubbing her eyes tiredly as if attempting to stay awake.

Sharq opened his mouth for a brief second, raising a finger in the air. "...Okay you got me."

Switching into a blue squid instantaneously, he pointed his head towards the sky. Tai grinned, doing the same, a violet octopus sitting at the other cephalopod's side. Pointing into the sky, the both of them rocketed off in the air with a stream of ink following them. As they flew, Sharq noticed the platforms below. Each and every one of them started moving towards the spawn-point rapidly, like a conveyor belt, swapping sizes and shapes. With a sigh, Sharq shook his head and pressed on through the air.

Eventually, the two of them landed on the other platform, where the Zapfish Plushie sat in its electrical cage, Sharq stretching his arms in the sky. "Finally! Thanks Tai."

With a frown, Tai eyed the Zapfish substitute sitting on top of its metallic perch. "...You're welcome. But Sharq, I have a question."

"Mm?" Sharq hummed with glee.

"Why did you take an hour just to get to a cardboard cut-out?" Tai muttered, eyeing the small stuffed doll suspiciously.

Sharq paused mid-stretch and stared at her. "...Huh?"

With a frown, Tai walked up to the Zapfish plushie. Taking her right hand, she immediately smacked the barrier with the back of her palm. A creaking noise emanated from the Zapfish as it fell back onto the ground flat.

"...Uh?" Sharq blinked as he stared at the mural flat on the ground.

"You guys are seriously gullible." Tai shook her head with a smirk. "Lucky I'm here. Well, now what?"

"SHARQ!" A voice shouted, the two cephalopod teenagers jolting in shock.

Tai glanced around the area with a frown. "Voice? I don't remember you sounding so feminine."

"Ann-Gel?" Sharq cocked an eyebrow in curiosity. "Where are you?"

A hesitant noise followed soon after. "I- A room somewhere! I don't have a lot of time! But you have to know something! Seamond's actually-"

Silence. Both Sharq and Tai frowned, looking around. Gasping, Sharq pointed over towards the platforms they had sailed over. The Octoling followed his line of sight. Each and every one of the platforms shook uncontrollably for a short while, until they all up and fell into the abyss of this Octo Valley lookalike. Following the other platforms, the spawn-point also dropped down into the abyss of the valley. The two of them gulped, staring down at the floor holding them aloft. They wondered how long it would take until they were next.

"...Alright, what's the explanation?" Tai requested, shooting a cautious look at Sharq.

Sharq bit his lip. "Uh…" He cleared his throat. "Ann-Gel and I found a new amiibo, his name is Seamond, I found a little cat-"

"Mm-hm." Tai muttered, walking over towards the fallen cardboard piece.

"And then we went to eat at Oahu." Sharq stated, tapping fingers on his right hand as he counted off each and everything he did. "Seamond suggested that we should go to the plaza to try out some missions-"

"Ooh." She hummed, eyeing the Zapfish. As if she had something in mind, Tai gripped the side of the cardboard and lifted upwards.

"Then after I got launched up into the air, I tried to move forward," He rambled, walking over to where Tai stood, "Then I tripped over you and here we are."

Tai nodded in response. "Alright."

Sharq tilted his Takoroka Mesh, and with it, the shade that obscured his eyes followed. "Did...any of that make sense?"

Spinning her head towards Sharq, she shook it. "Nah. But check out this sweet box I found."

Underneath the cardboard cutout was a cardboard box. As redundant as that sounded, that was how it appeared.

"Man, I bet this would help back in that base. Somehow." She muttered, a hint of glee crossing her face.

"Hmm." Sharq muttered, his eyes narrowing.

Something was definitely up with the box. Under normal circumstances, Sharq would welcome the container with open arms, but this box was in no way a welcoming box.

Mostly because of the several wires running out from the bottom.

For whatever reason, a black plug, similar to a snake, ran along the ground, plugged into a socket sticking out of where the fake Zapfish was perched. Now, Sharq was no expert on boxes, but he did know that they did not run on electricity. Without hesitation, he reached at the sides of the box, Tai watching eagerly.

Lifting it above his head, Sharq's eyes grew wide at the scene unfolding on the floor. "Whoa! That's...what am I looking at?"

"Ooh." Tai murmured, turning away somewhat. "Not sure either of us are old enough to see that."

While the two's initial reactions may have been somewhat over the top, the amiibos were sprawled out on the ground, Ann-Gel laid underneath an equally shocked Seamond, whose arms were grasping at the others neck in a rather risque fashion. Which, again, was useless in retrospect considering her lack of lungs. By their side, a series of television screens now sprawled on the ground, miniature compared to the regular-sized cephalopods sparked uselessly.

However, as indecent as the scene looked, Ann-Gel was in no mean embarrassed as she was frightened. "Someone do something!"

Sharq glared at Seamond as he sat above Ann-Gel. "Hey!"

"...No." Seamond muttered to himself, shock prevalent on his face. "You...NO!"

That seemed to be the cue Tai was waiting for, as a smirk crossed her face, stepping forward. "I've waited a long time to get to do this to somebody. There's been a lack of annoying people I could punch...so many opportunities I left alone. You get to be the first joker in a while who probably won't look the same after this. Lucky you!"

Cracking her boneless knuckles, Tai swung her fist towards the blue-tentacled Inkling Boy amiibo, launching him off of Ann-Gel. Yelping, he desperately reached back at the remaining platform as the fist collided. Unfortunately for him, he Octoling's eager, built-up willingness to beat something up was finally released, Seamond flying over the edge of the platform.

"Ann-Gel! We could've made a difference! We could've stopped them from ever neglecting us! You...you…!" He screamed as he dropped, with an echo that followed shortly after his last words were lost.

Ann-Gel simply replied with a cough as she slowly got up to her feet with the assistance of Tai's much larger hand. The yell of the other Inkling amiibo went on for quite a while. At least, until they all heard a thud. The sentient sea life froze. For a while no one said a word.

"...You win." His voice seemed to sigh.

All of a sudden, the world around them appeared to crumble. The colors around them began to fade again, with everything seeming to decompose around them. Tai blinked, looking around as the world crumbled around them.

"Guess my time here is up or something." She shrugged, smiling over at Sharq. "Hey, I'll see you guys after I get out of this place. Thanks for letting me punch that guy. See you."

Finally, the world faded to black.

* * *

" _...Hm."_ A voice rang out through Ann-Gel's head. _"You actually survived. Interesting."_

The female trophy opened her eyes slowly. The blue sky flooded back into her vision, with the buildings of Inkopolis filling in the empty space. The feeling of asphalt behind her head also grew prevalent. In the center of it all, a hairless feline stared back at her with mysterious violet eyes, now glowing with power.

"...Frei...Mew...whatever." She muttered as a drowsy feeling began to weigh on her eyelids.

The other creature's eyes closed. _"Your time hasn't come yet. I suppose I should thank you for defeating that upstart."_

Managing to keep herself awake, she turned her head to the side. Mewtwo's left hand was extended, its fingers poised to the side. Staring to the side, she noticed a distraught looking blue Inkling amiibo, seemingly stuck frozen in the air.

" _Well?"_ It arched a spot where an eyebrow would be had it any hair on its face. _"Satisfied? You won. Now I can leave in peace. So can the others."_

Ann-Gel blinked. Gliding overhead, she could swear she saw multiple Inklings laugh as they spiralled towards the sky. For a brief moment, she frowned. Splin and Sharq were some of the only squids she knew could do that.

" _I'll be sure to give him a stern 'talking-to'."_ Mewtwo spoke through her mind. _"Regardless to say, I believe you may have earned a rest. Good afternoon, Ann-Gel."_

Ann-Gel watched as he and the other amiibo ascended into the air. She did not really see much more after that, considering her eyelids were drooping quickly. With a sigh, she dropped her head back on the asphalt and let herself doze off. She earned it, after all.

* * *

All the while, Splin stared at himself in the mirror, a hand placed on his chin morosely. He stared at himself for quite a while, his elbow lying on a counter with a sink built in. For a brief moment, he glanced around for a moment, as if suspecting someone else would come barging in. Finding that he was indeed alone in the bathroom, he stooped down to the bottom of the counter. A drawer stuck out of the front, with an inviting knob. Gripping the knob, he pulled out the drawer, staring at the contents. A single tie, ruffled and aged with time sat inside. Reaching inside, he took the tie out, looking at his own shirt. A Black Anchor Tee was hardly the fanciest attire to accommodate. Despite that, he raised the tie towards his shirt collar, then stared back at himself.

"...Hm." He murmured as he stared at his reflection.

Then he heard the doors slam open. Thoroughly surprised and flustered, he jammed the tie back in the drawer, closed it shut, then reached for the door of the bathroom to his left. Opening the door immediately, he stared out from underneath the staircase of his home.

"Hi Splin!" Sharq waved, Ann-Gel sitting on his shoulder.

"Uh, hey Sharq!" His younger brother waved in response. "Where'd you…actually, scratch that, what are you wearing?"

If it was not for Sharq's face poking out, Splin could have sworn that this was another crossover chapter. Sharq stood there, Ann-Gel awake and perched on his shoulder with a smile, but his attire was different. Wearing a traditional attire that of a samurai, a golden set of tentacles emblazoned on the top of his helmet, Sharq stood at the side of the kitchen counter, a futuristic Splat Roller gripped in his hands like a noble weapon.

Splin stared at him, both thinking, _"Did Sharq time travel again?"_ and _"I can't believe I was worried about my attire."_

"Well?" Sharq asked with a small flex and a grin.

Splin just blinked and shut the restroom door behind him. "I'm coming back out when you switch to your normal clothes."

A pout on his face, Sharq shook his head. "Aw man. I got these from those challenges too. Oh well."

Ann-Gel shrugged on Sharq's shoulder. "I think you look pretty heroic Sharq."

"Thanks." He muttered, taking his helmet off, revealing his Takorka Mesh underneath.

Lowering his shoulder to kitchen counter level, he allowed Ann-Gel to step off onto the tabletop, while he stripped down to his default appearance. Sighing slightly and sitting on her pedestal, Ann-Gel began staring out of the hole in the ceiling out at the blue sky. Just this morning she had been taken out for a walk, watched a phone get crushed, learn of Sharq's potential career in politics, had met a psychic cat, and stopped a murderer.

Perhaps it was not that bad that her life was uneventful.

* * *

As Ann-Gel reflected on the morning, Splin splashed cold, painful water into his face with a frown.

" _If I'm still sleeping, then this better wake me up."_ He thought to himself as he doused himself with water.

* * *

AN: Long chapter, huh? Well, I'm coming up with another one today to celebrate The Bate Brothers' Adventures' one year anniversary, hopefully, so stay tuned.

Thank you Ultrapyre, sebastian G, write n wrong, and Rynowm for reviewing!

Ultrapyre, I appreciate that someone else shares the sentiment of workloads. That would probably explain why so many Splatoon authors here have taken quite a long break, at the least. By the by, I'm sure you may have already guessed by now, but the "cat" of sorts was the cameo for the miniature arc. Thanks for consistently reviewing, by the by.

Thanks for chiming in again sebastian G, nice to see that you still have interest left for this story!

write n wrong, unfortunately, as my finances are at a bit of an odd place as of late, I have not yet been able to purchase Monster Hunter Generations. But I heard the Lagiacrus from MH3 is in there, so I'm excited to play it.

Rynowm, I hope my advice helps you for your story.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you soon.


	57. Nostalgia Trip Part 1

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Nostalgia Trip, Part 1**

Inkopolis. Breathtaking views, the freshest place on the planet, home of the Turf Wars!

It is certainly a thought that crosses every squid's mind at least once. Many far and wide remember the great city of Inkopolis by a similar code. Inklings, humanoids with the ability to swap into squids whenever they feel the need, populated the surface where they had founded the great city. Whether it is the ever popular (at least for now) Inkopolis Plaza, the grandest building known the shining retail paradise that is the Booyah Base, or the freshest pop stars of the century, the Squid Sisters, Inkopolis has it all for everyone.

But alas, with every shining diamond of a story, there is always a smudge on the bottom. We begin our tale with a pair of two, young blue tentacled Inklings, standing in front of a desolate park of what appeared to be water slides. I am sure a few of you are familiar with where this is heading.

One adjusted his pair of Designer Headphones that laid on his head, sighing to himself, kicking at the sidewalk he stood on boredly with his Crazy Arrows that stuck to his feet. The other one, standing close by with his Takoroka Mesh attached to his noggin and his Banana Basics firmly tied to his feet stared in awe with the same brown eyes his companion to the side had. The two of them shared various similarities; the same tan skin color, the same brown eyes, and the same Anchor Tees. Though, the one wearing headphones wore a black variations whereas the other one wore a white version.

While his friend gawked at the water slide park long since abandoned, the one in black opened his mouth as if to say something, then hesitated. Glancing around quickly, a look of confusion crossed his face. Reaching over, he tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to swivel around.

"...Sharq." The one wearing headphones piped up finally.

"Yeah?" The Inkling known as Sharq responded, blinking curiously.

Taking another gander around them, the Inkling wearing headphones cleared his throat. "Does any of this seem…Familiar to you?"

Sharq hummed, tapping his foot on the ground repeatedly. "...No. I mean, it's not like we've been to this ink slide park before, right Splin?"

Splin bit his lip, eyes staring every which way suspiciously. "...Actually, yeah."

"Hmm?" Sharq blinked, looking around.

"Sharq, think about it." He spoke up, looking around. "Doesn't this seem familiar at all?"

Sharq pursed his lips. "...Well, you said that today we could go wherever I wanted to. So, I thought checking out this-"

"No, I mean…" Splin frowned as he flusteredly adjusted his headphones. "Okay, so, you know how déjà vu works, right?"

Sharq blinked once. "...Yeah? Is that where you remember things that you like?"

"That's nostalgia." He muttered, looking around. "Although, that does also seem to be the case. Come on, you don't remember anything? Is this a dream?"

Suddenly, Splin began glancing to and fro, reaching around the air suspiciously. With a frown, he reached towards his right arm with his left and pinched. As a stinging sensation poked at his arm, he realized that perhaps he was not dreaming after all. Either that or his dream was just too potent of an illusion.

"Ah." Splin murmured, looking around. "I suppose. Though whether or not that is the case, I think we should leave."

Sharq pouted at him. "What? Splin, c'mon! I'm your brother, just this once?"

"We've definitely done this once before. I'm not willing to do it again." Splin shook his head.

Already beginning to walk away from the ink slide park, Splin gestured for Sharq to begin following him. Frowning, Sharq started walking next to him, albeit reluctantly. As they walked, the older brother began glancing behind him, pursing his lips. After about approximately thirty seconds of walking, he immediately shook his head and turned around, sprinting back for the park.

Splin paused and spun around, mouth gaping wide. "Sharq, no!"

"I can't help it man!" He laughed, arms flailing in front of his face as he sprinted. "Just one slide! One slide then we'll- Whoa!"

Stumbling over a pebble, Sharq kicked away at the sidewalk, attempting to regain balance. The rock flew off into the air as he spun his arms in circles. Eventually, he managed to stop his flailing and stand perfectly still, sighing to himself as he stopped. Behind him, dashing along the exterior of the walls surrounding the ink slide park, Splin eventually halted just behind him, gasping for breath.

"Sharq…" He shook his head between inhaling. "No. We're staying away from the ink slide park, alright?"

With a frown, Sharq tilted his head towards his younger brother in hopes of appeasing him. "Please?"

"No!" Splin spoke up, reaching at Sharq's shoulder, "Look, I know it might seem fun, but I bet someone's going to get hurt-"

"Ow!" Sharq muttered, brushing Splin's hand off. "You shocked me!"

Splin blinked, taking his hand away. "Oh, sorry. Static electricity?"

"I guess…" Sharq muttered while he rubbed his shoulder. "You worry too much Splin. Look, what's the worst that could happen?"

Creak.

"Eh?" He muttered, glancing towards the side.

The brothers watched the slides. Multiple rusted amusement rides swayed back and forth dangerously, the copper coating peeling off by itself. After standing for who knew how long, each slide began tumbling down with a thunderous crash, shaking the foundations of the park. Splin just stared blankly as a sheet of metal skidded up towards them, grinding to a halt on the floor.

"...Oh." Splin frowned at the piece of metal as if it had just failed him.

Sharq bit his lip. Ears perking up, the older brother could just barely hear the sounds of sirens closing in. "Sorry."

Shrugging, the other brother began walking off, away from the decayed, destroyed ink slide park. Sharq watched as red and blue lights flashed off of the surfaces of buildings, eventually turning around to accompany Splin as he walked through the sidewalk through Inkopolis.

"...Hey, Splin?" Sharq spoke up from behind him, jogging to catch up with him.

In a irritated, monotone voice, Splin simply responded with, "Yes?" as they passed by several buildings.

"Shouldn't we...I dunno, start running?" His brother spoke up, looking over his shoulder occasionally as if a cop would come chasing them at any moment.

A single sigh escaping his lips, Splin turned back towards his brother. "Sharq, listen. If this is going down the route I think it's going, it doesn't matter what we do. I think it's best we just keep walking and forget that ever happened."

Sharq blinked in surprise. "How are we supposed to forget that? Won't we get arrested or something?"

" _Yeah, we should have."_ Splin thought to himself, shaking his head, turning back to Sharq. "Try not to dwell on it. Uh, did you want to do anything else today?"

"Well…" Sharq smiled, tapping his chin. "Maybe a Turf War?"

The younger brother just grimaced and adjusted his headphones. Before either of them could say anything, the two felt something squishy beneath their feet.

"Hm?" Sharq blinked, glancing down at his feet.

Kicking away at the ground, the two realized that they were standing in a blue puddle of ink. The liquid swirled around their feet, for some reason.

"...That's unusual." Sharq commented, tapping the goo with the soles of his feet.

Before Splin could agree, he could feel something weigh down in his hands. Glancing towards his palms, he yelped in shock as he looked back at a Tentatek Splattershot. Looking down at his chest, he realized that his Black Anchor Tee was covered by a Retro Gamer Jersey, the both of them having come from seemingly out of nowhere. Turning back to Sharq, he realized that his brother was now holding onto a Krak-On Splat Roller with a black odometer attached, the number displayed being a zero. Sharq's shirt was also covered, with a Camo Zip Hoodie. The both of their tentacles were dyed a light-green.

Sharq stared at his roller curiously, until something seemed to flash in his eyes. "Oh. Now I remember."

"Huh?" Splin spoke up in curiosity.

"The ink slide park...Splin, it's all flooding back to me!" Sharq exclaimed, though a cheery expression crossed his face. "This is awesome!"

Splin gave him an incredulous glare. "Wh- What?! That doesn't make any sense! How is this good?"

His brother adjusted his Takoroka Mesh still stuck to his head. "Well, we can do things all over again, Splin! Not a lot of people get that chance, you know."

"Wait a minute. If we're doing things all over again…" Splin glanced ahead. "...Ari."

"Are you two losers ready...TO LOSE?!"

Sitting on the right spawn-platform of Saltspray Rig, the two brothers stared in awe at the egomaniac across from them. Past a set of boxes in a lower sub-area to the oceanic arena was a full fledged squad of Inklings. They all had red-orange tentacles. Three of the squad members were females, and they all looked practically identical, wearing Paintball Masks, White Tees with the name, "Ari" emblazoned on it with dashes between the three letters, and Cherry Kicks. Standing in the middle of the group was a solitary male, wearing a Paintball Mask, a Varsity Jacket, and Yellow Seahorses. The male had a terrific smirk on his face as he and his squadron posed in a dramatic sense. The male held a Splattershot Jr. in his hands while the others hid their weapons as they posed.

"Oh yeah." Sharq hummed as the both of them stared at the bizarre group. "I forgot they had those masks on the first time we met."

Another frown crossed Splin's face. _"Peculiar...perhaps I am dreaming?"_ Walking out of the spawn-point, Splin leaned over the side of the platform and yelled, "Hey, Ari!"

The mention of his name caused both him and his companions to freeze. "...How did you idiots find out my name?!"

"We know who you are, idiot." Splin shot back in irritation. "We don't have time for this. Just get over here so that you can lose and so we can go home."

"..." Ari seemed speechless for a brief second. However, his speechlessness was nothing compared to his unbridled passion, or in this case, cockiness. "Ha, ha? Is that a challenge?"

"No it's a statement telling you to lose so we can leave." Splin muttered under his breath.

"A challenge it is!" Ari shouted, removing his Paintball Mask. Somehow, his Jungle Hat managed to stay on within the mask. "A one on one battle, to the death! You losers are going down!"

Splin just snarled in indignation. Suddenly, Sharq gripped him by the shoulder and pulled him aside, walked off to the opposite end of the platform and smiled at the others, attempting to find privacy. Which hardly mattered because any conversation at that distance would probably be deafened by the wind. Sharq set his Krak-On Roller down at the side and crouched; Splin did the same with himself and his own weapon.

"Alright Splin, this is like some time travel stuff. Except with less dinosaurs." Sharq explained, glancing at the water and the sky. "What's happening?"

"...No idea." Splin spoke up, looking around. "Sharq, I just wanna get this over with."

Sharq frowned, looking over to the side, where Ari was raring to fight, giving one of his companions his weapon. "What if you cause a paradox or something, though?"

"...I mean, it would've happened earlier if you had tripped." Splin pointed out.

Sharq "aahed" in understanding as he took up a seat on the steel floor. "Well, what are you going to do? You're not going to actually going to fight him, are you?"

"...I have something in mind." Splin spoke up, walking off.

Sharq watched him cautiously. From the left of their base, a path led down to a set of boxes stacked in the middle of a rectangular platform. Splin began advancing towards it, staring straight ahead. On the other side, a rather jubilant Ari waved to Sari, Rit, and Bas respectively as he made his way down. The two of them walked to the end of the path leading down towards the lowest segment of Saltspray Rig, then dropped down, the metal rattling below their feet.

Ari walked forward, cracking his knuckles. "Heh heh. I'm all for a challenge or two, but a simple fight works too."

Splin hardly said anything and just walked forward, putting up his fists. The action seemed to make Ari laugh, the orange Inkling advancing forward with an air of confidence. The two readied their fists, with their family members watching from above. With one swift move, Splin jabbed at Ari's chest, which he scoffed at, blocking it with ease. The attack was light, yet a hint of satisfaction crossed Splin's lips.

"Hah!" He smirked, guarding against the blow. "Useless!"

With a single blink, Splin stood up straight and crossed his arms and glared at Ari almost expectantly. Ari arched an eyebrow at him with a wicked smile working its way across his face. Moving in quickly, Ari raised his fist, ready to collide with Splin's face. Both of their relatives, Sharq and Sari, cringed immediately, covering their own eyes in worry.

"...I...er…"

Out of confusion and curiosity, the two of them removed their hands and tentacles from their faces. Ari's fist remained frozen in the air, seemingly just about to collide with Splin's face, who turned away in expectation of the blow, his eyes shut. Opening one eye carefully, he watched the older, orange Inkling carefully. His expression morphed to that of shock.

"...Rival?" Ari smirked suddenly, his fist still gravitating dangerously close to Splin's face, whose eyes opened in a surprised yet satisfied fashion. "Goodness. I was not expecting this. Come on another offer for a quest, perhaps?"

"...Knock it off Ari." He muttered, pushing the punch out of the way. "We have a situation."

* * *

As the squid in blue explained, Sari, Rit and Bas stared curiously from atop their metal perch, whispering to each other. While they were relieved that Ari did not completely destroy the smaller Inkling, it was certainly an odd change of pace from the two punches that flew earlier. Joining them on the lower platform, Sharq sat in between them on the boxes, kicking his legs back and forth.

"...and that's the gist of it." Splin finished, rubbing his forehead as if it would help him comprehend the situation somewhat better.

Ari nodded in response. "Interesting. Has all of this been reoccurring since this morning?"

"Pretty much." Splin grimaced as he glanced at seagulls that passed by overhead.

"Except without any of the fun parts." Sharq frowned with a shake of his head. "C'mon, not even one slide?"

He shuddered at the mention. "I don't think I'm ever going back to an ink slide park ever again."

"How absolutely bizarre!" Ari commented, puffing his chest out with a smirk. "Sounds like an adventure to be had! Allow me to join you in this quest!"

"Quest?" Splin repeated as Ari nodded in affirmation. "Actually, Ari, I was just planning on getting home-"

Ari clapped with glee. "A tale of a return! This will be perfect! Where to next?"

Sharq pursed his lips. "I dunno. We kinda just showed up here just from walking."

"What? How drab. There's gotta be something else more…" Ari tapped his chin, looking around.

A strange gurgling noise caught the trio's attention. The three Inklings looked around for a brief moment before catching something in the corner of their eyes. Turning to the left, the group walked over towards the edge of the platform. Peering over the edge, they noticed a bizarre looking whirlpool. Unlike normal whirlpools, this one in particular flashed vivid colors as if a bucket of paint was dropped into the ocean and spun around.

"Glorious." The egomaniac finished, rubbing his hands together.

The Bate Brothers stared at each other for a brief moment. The two of them engaged in a silent conversation, bobbing their eyes in different directions, many of them gesturing towards Ari. As if reaching a mutual conclusion, the two of them nodded simultaneously, then turned back to him, who stood excitedly.

Splin cleared his throat. "Ari, that's a-"

"Great idea! Throw me in!" Sharq cheered, a sparkle flashing in his eyes.

"Will do!" Ari winked with a smile.

It all happened so quickly that Splin could hardly register it. In an instant, Sharq morphed into a blue squid and leapt into Ari's hands. Carrying the squid over his head, Ari heaved with all his might, hurling Sharq like a cephalopod boomerang. Except, unlike a boomerang, Sharq splashed down into the whirlpool and did not return. Splin stared on in horror.

Before he could say anything, Ari began lifting him as well. "It's your turn- Oof, I believe turning into a squid will make you lighter, you know? So turn into a squid."

Subconsciously, he shrunk into the form of a blue squid, only then realizing his folly. "No, wait, Ari, don't- AAGH!"

Launched into the sea, he hit the vortex and spun about dizzily. He managed to blurt out something about Ari and how he was a jerk. But mostly just sounds akin to drowning. Turning back towards his subordinates, who stared back at him in terror as if he were a murderer, he just waved politely, backing over the edge of the platform. Letting himself fall backwards, he shouted in triumph just before hitting the water, leaving his three companions on the platform.

"..." Sari stared at the water in disbelief.

"Dibs on his stuff?" Bas spoke up all of a sudden, her blue eyes twinkling hopefully.

Rit immediately smacked her upside the head as Sari continued to watch the water swirl.

" _Something's happening. Something strange."_ She pondered unsurely. _"I'm not sure what, but Ari, you'd better come back in one piece."_

She reassured herself of this, repeating it in her head to herself as the other two females began to bicker, watching as the whirlpool dissipated into nothing.

* * *

AN: Anniversary things were never my thing. I was late for the Metroid 30th anniversary with my sketch, and I just barely made it in time for my own story's anniversary.

I'm amazed that such a small idea, based around a bunch of silly small episodic stories of nonsensicality evolved into a fully fledged squid plot. I wanna thank everyone who took the time out of their busy lives and schedules to read these stories. It's really just fantastic on how much of a dream this feels like. It sounds like something a much more famous person would say, but from the bottom of this writer's heart, I wanna thank you all.

But I also have to specifically thank the reviewers of just hours ago. Thanks Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, and CathyMirii for reviewing!

I'm happy to see that the cameo inclusion went swimmingly, Dread Angel. Glad it fit decently enough.

Apologies for the oddness of the situation, Ultrapyre. I'd thought that the whole dreaming scheme would be a bit of a nice nod to an earlier chapter, but I can see where you're coming from. I'll be sure to review the chapter contents more carefully in the future.

Finally, thank you CathyMirii. Perhaps I will write a backstory for Seamond, seeing as he IS one of my real amiibo names along with Ann-Gel, though I may have to work on all of the several other characters' backstories first. I'm glad that I was able to provide a story worthy of your time.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you next time.


	58. Nostalgia Trip Part 2

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Nostalgia Trip, Part 2**

Sharq was not sure whether the whirlpool was washing over him gently or battering him into the water. Either way, it felt kinda funny watching as Splin flew towards the side rapidly while Ari recited something above him.

From the top, the whirlpool looked like a flatter, more chaotic version of what Sharq imagined a rainbow would look like once crashing into water. Of course, within the liquid, it was somewhat less pretty and much more chaotic. Thin streams of red, yellow, and green danced a chaotic waltz in a spiral downwards towards who knows where, and through the underwater cyclone, Sharq could notice fish gathering around their trap curiously. Whenever one got too curious, it swam towards the spiraling current and was promptly sucked in, and Sharq would have a new companion. He would soon toss them back, though he may have been peckish, he certainly did not want to risk eating someone's cousin.

This continued for quite some time. Eventually, the terrified yelps of his brother and the stunning narration of Ari ceased, leaving three stupid Inkling boys who thought it was a good idea to jump straight into the eye of the hurricane, as it were.

"Screw- you- voice- Splin's voice rolled about the whirlpool a variety of times as he spun, not limited to that order, mind you.

Contrary to the rampant way he flew around, Ari seemed comfortable in the midst of the chaos. "Ah, but what an adventure is this! From absolute madness and familiar sights!"

"You literally JUST joined us!" Splin managed to yell as they swirled around. "How would you know the plot synopsis?!"

Ari arched an eyebrow. "It's a narrator's creed. You wouldn't understand, rival."

Sharq bit his lip. As the two of them shot back and forth, both using words and due to the bizarre, rampant liquid, the older brother noticed something churning below them. As he looked down, Sharq squinted his eyes, as well as slap a few fish away. What looked like the seafloor below them had a sizable hole embedded in the ground, with the whirlpool leading them ever closer.

"Uh, guys?" Sharq pointed out, or tried to what with the vortex flinging him around like a ragdoll. "I think we have bigger problems than writing jokes."

The two other Inklings ceased their bickering and glanced downwards. Sand shifted around the ocean floor, scattering any sea life daring enough to explore. At the very bottom, the hole spun rapidly, quickly pulling them closer and closer.

"Ha!" Ari scoffed at the opening in the ground. "A hole? Bring on a REAL challenge!"

As if listening intently, suddenly the stream they were surfing in began to shake and stutter. Droplets of salt water dripped from around them among the safe, multicolored liquid, stinging their skin. Splin hissed at Ari in outrage and clawed at him through the whirlpool much to his dismay. Sand and mud began to collect among the edge of the hole as well, blotting up the entrance, causing the water around them to begin to cave in.

"...Uh." Ari blinked plainly, tilting his Jungle Hat down to cover his eyes. "...Nevermind."

"Ari!" Splin shouted in outrage as he sunk faster and faster to the ground, wiping the sea off of of his face as it attempted to flood their undersea tunnel of safety.

Ari scowled and crossed his arms throughout their tumble downwards. "Well, excuse me prince."

"...What?" Splin muttered. "That doesn't make any-"

He was cut off from being swallowed by the earth. The three Inklings vanished into the hole as the spinning motion above them dissipated. The dust settled back on the seafloor as well as fish shaken from the conundrum, going along their merry way while three teenagers vanished off into a time and space somewhere out in the vast reaches of the universe.

* * *

Smashing into steel, Splin and Sharq groaned in pain, getting up rather shakily. Sharq gripped his brother's hand, pulling him up from the floor. Splin shook his head in a daze and glanced around, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Ugh." He muttered, stretching his neck with a satisfying yet disconcerting crack.

"Hmm." Sharq hummed, kicking at the blue ink under his feet.

"Ah!" Yelled Ari from across the stage.

Suddenly, all three of the Inklings stared around in curiosity. A large, steel railway track ran along a decaying iron bridge over the stage. A set of metal platforms, starting with the tallest ones Splin, Sharq, and Ari were standing on gradually led down to a pair of longer rectangular platforms with short brick walls arranged in a formation that resembled a plus symbol underneath the bridge. Walls led from the second lowest platform down to the lowest two. From top to bottom, nearly each and every spot of ground that could be physically painted was covered in an orange goop.

The youngest Bate Brother grimaced at the sight and looked straight down at his feet soon after he took in the orange mess. He found himself standing in yet another pool of ink sitting in a metallic platform. Sharq glanced down as well, lifting his shoe from the azure sludge. Yet another spawn-pad coated in blue ink laid dormant at their feet, as did Ari from far across the map.

Ari hummed in interest. "Well now."

"What is it, Ari?"

Turning around, Ari noticed three other Inklings garbed in their trademark attire, or at least the attire he asked them to wear. Sari, Rit, and Bas stared back at him, Sari leaning on the cubical brick wall that enclosed the spawn-pad while the other two laid on the top of the crumbling bricks, all with a curious look on their face.

Ari turned back towards the other two males far across from him and smirked. "Er, nothing you need to worry your pretty heads about…"

Splin bit his lip and stared down at the ocean of orange. "You remember how this goes, right?"

Tilting his Takoroka Mesh, Sharq stared at the orange ink inquisitively. "Uh, does something come out?"

"We 'things' have names, you know." A feminine voice answered back from the ink.

Just then, something poked out from the orange expanse. A Sporty Bobble hat towered out of the ink, dripping orange from the top of the white fuzz. Eventually, the hat gave way to a light female face wearing a Berry Ski Jacket and a pair of Crazy Arrows.

"Name's Zip," She spoke in a polite tone, hefting a Carbon Roller from out of the ink, "I'll be your hostess for tonight's activities."

A pleased hum escaped Sharq's lips. He walked forward one step, but before he could say a word, Splin quickly reached out with his right hand.

"Nice to meet you." He spoke up, grasping for her hand.

Just then, a bead of sweat dripped down his face. Jerking back violently, he narrowly avoided a tidal wave of orange from several other weapon types, from rollers to every other ranged weapon on the face of the planet. As ink dripped from the thin spherical barrier blotting out ink from their adversaries, Splin gritted his teeth, dipping his hand in the blue ink below.

"...Uh…" Splin muttered with a glance towards the clouds. "Pleased to meet you. I...hmm...I take it you're not willing to negotiate?"

Sharq arched an eyebrow curiously. The situation seemed rather familiar, and yet there was something off about the whole situation. But before he could put his finger on it, the ink in front of them shifted. Zip walked to the side expectantly.

Adjusting his Retro Specs, the next Inkling stood poised with his Krak-On Roller pointed towards the sky. While he brushed off his Varsity Jacket, he merrily kicked in a rhythm with his Yellow Seahorses. Willie beamed back at Splin and Sharq whilst he stood side by side with Zip.

"You got the name of the game, Music Man!" Willie shouted with a bizarre sense of glee. "We've been hired to splat you and your buddy there if you take a single step outside of your spawn-pad! My name's Willie, and you and your pal Shady over there don't stand a chance!"

Splin gulped. He knew what would happen if he stepped outside of the barrier. He certainly did not want to get splatted over and over. Again.

"Psst." He whispered towards Sharq, who perked up, eyeing him curiously. Splin walked towards the back of the spawn-pad with a smile aimed at the orange team as he did. He dragged his older brother towards the back and stared him dead in the eyes. "Alright, Sharq, you remember how this goes?"

"...Does it have something to do with exploding?" Sharq suggested with a tilt of his head.

"Hmm." Splin responded, with the addition of a curt nod. "Pretty much."

"Ooh!" Sharq clapped his hands together, which only served to unnerve Splin. "I understand."

He gave him a look that said, "Do you?" in one glare. The younger brother sat in the ink, perfectly content with his safe spot.

Sharq stood up straight with a pout. "Yeah. Watch." He spoke up, gripping a Krak-On roller coated blue from behind his back.

"Wait, what?" He shook his head and rubbed his eyes clean, staring at Sharq holding the weapon. "How did you- Wait, no! That's not what I-"

"Charge!" Sharq exclaimed proudly as he hefted his roller above his head, blue paint dripping from the rotating roller head.

But before he could take a step out of his spawn, Splin reached around his waist and pulled him back. His older brother responded with a wheeze and dropped his roller by the front of the spawn-pad as they fell back towards the brick wall behind them, a myriad of several different orange Inklings assaulting the pad and dropped weapon as if they would break through. The roller slid back towards them, now coated in an orange and blue combination as it landed at Sharq's feet.

"Aw." Sharq sighed and reached for the roller.

Splin stood up with a glare directed towards Ari on the other side. Through the wall of squids attempting to lay siege to them, he noticed him shrug in earnest. Frowning and reaching at his back, Splin grasped at the air until he felt a familiar cylindrical container.

"Oh, perfect." Splin rolled his eyes, patting around his pockets. "I don't even have any weapons. This whole adventure is just like a carousel of curses."

Suddenly, Splin's headphones around his ears buzzed. A bizarre set of music began playing. But before he could pinpoint the tune, he simply wrapped the blue Designer Headphones around his neck.

With a shake of his head, Splin simply muttered, "Nope."

A blur rushed past him. Roller gripped in his palms, Sharq brought it over his head with an expression glee stuck on his face. Before he could swing it, a variety of squids popped out with several weapons aimed at him as he left the safety of the round barrier. Yet again, Splin had to wrangle him back, leaping up, grappling Sharq by his abdomen. This time, none of the squids seemed to have the gall to shoot, but they were certainly confused. The whole lot of orange Inklings, garbed in various different Turf War equipment gawked at Splin and Sharq as they sat in their own safe little bubble away from the whirling members of death that sat just outside their small force field.

"No." Splin muttered with a shake of his head. "We're not doing that again."

"Aw, but Splin!" Sharq frowned as he flung ink at the enemy team from within his grasp. "We could probably win this time!"

Splin rolled his eyes. "Really?" With a single step, he got up and walked out into the fray. Within the span of a second, he reemerged from the spawn pad. He dusted himself off and gestured to himself towards Sharq.

His brother shrugged with a smile. "Well, maybe if you had a weapon you could've beaten someone."

The other Inkling shook his head. "No, Sharq. Haven't you noticed a trend so far? Everything we've done ended pretty similarly to how it went in the past. We tried to leave the ink slide park in peace, and it ended up getting destroyed. We probably COULD have left Ari to himself or just lost, but against all odds-"

"We won?" Sharq added in with an eyebrow arched.

"Exactly!" Splin threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Whatever's going to happen next is probably just going to end in us losing. There really isn't a point to this, either."

Sharq blinked once. A minute passed, and he said nothing, and just stared at his brother. Sitting next to them were the other orange squadron, also silent. Most silent of all, or at least unable to be heard from far across them, was Ari and his squadron, who waited impatiently on their other side of the depot. Splin glanced around somewhat irritably, until his irritation faded into a simple awkwardness.

Then, much to Splin's surprise, applause erupted from in front of him. Multiple different enemy squad members shouted various words of approval from, "Alright!" to "Vent that frustration!" as confusing as that sounded to him.

"...What the?" Splin murmured as he gawked around at everyone.

Zip smirked. "Hey, a rant's a rant. We can't blame you. We all have stuff that we have to deal with in our lives."

Willie nodded in response. "Yeah!"

"The guy with the headphones is right!" Another Inkling spoke out among the orange crowd, everyone turning around in response. "Why are we even beating these two up for money?"

Another one chimed in. "That's super cliché!"

"If I went to study instead of waste my time in Turf Wars like this, I would probably know what that word means!" One final Inkling spoke up.

That seemed to rile them all up. Moving in a single mob, the rest of the orange Inklings rushed around Willie and Zip, dashing down towards the opposite side of the stage. Multiple splashes and explosions erupted in the background, all accompanied by the sound of ink splashing and splattering here and there. Yelps joined in the symphony of alarming sounds, along with the noise of several coins raining down onto metal.

"...Well then." Splin hummed as he looked towards the Inkling couple, who appeared just as surprised as he was.

"Victory by preaching!" Sharq cheered and slapped Splin on the back, who was sent out of the protection of his spawn.

"Gah!" He yelped, covering his face with his arms swiftly.

Instead of ink blasting him into oblivion, light chuckling came from the other side of his arms. Retracting his defensive pose while blinking, he began staring at the curious couple smiling back at him with outstretched hands.

"Hey man, we're not gonna krill you now. We ain't heartless, you know!" Willie spoke up, offering his hand to him.

Zip nodded with him. "We never did get that handshake, did we?"

A suspicious eye was all Splin gave in return. Though cautious, Splin glanced at the duo's eyes. He could not see any second thought of betrayal or anything of the sort. He gulped nervously, then reached out with both hands, grasping their own.

"!" The two perked up instantly. Splin retracted his hand and gawked at them as well as took a step back, just in case.

"...Splin?" Willie muttered with a blink of his eyes as if he had just woken up. "Whoa. I didn't see you come in, man. What are you, a wizard or something?"

Zip appeared just as tired and arched an eyebrow at the brother suspiciously "...Huh. Hey, Splin. Just stopping by to say hello or-"

The both of them froze. Eyes wide open, they glanced around their surroundings, stepping on the orange layer around their feet while they looked down at the sea and the floor.

"...Déjà vu!" They exclaimed at the same time.

Sharq stared at them with a smile. "Good to have you back!"

The two of them swerved towards Splin with curiosity brimming in their eyes. All Splin could do was shrug and say, "Uh...another one of those days."

Zip looked as though she were about to say something probably not vital to the story. Then she gasped and spoke, "Is that why Sharq's drowning?"

"BLRRGERGUGUGHG!" Came Sharq's immediate response.

Splin spun around in shock. A brotherly hand poked out of the newly formed blue whirlpool and reached and grasped for anything to hold onto. Eventually the hand just shrugged and gave up. It sank into the azure ink without a sound. Splin gasped, and without a second thought, sprinted in after him. Splin began switching into a squid and diving straight into the whirlpool, vanishing with a splatter of ink marking the walls by the spawn-pad.

"It's one weird day after the next with those two." Zip commented with a stare.

Willie nodded as well. In the background, Ari shouted something among the mob of about a dozen Inklings rampaging, coins dropping left and right from a pouch he lifted above his head.

* * *

Splin opened his eyes nearly instantaneously. He woke up among a soft comfort supporting his back. With a sigh, he closed his eyes again, glad that the dream was over.

At least, he would have been glad if he had not figured out that he had been napping on a plant. With a frantic breath in and out quickly, he glanced around, then down to his comforter. A plump yet small tree with large leaves served as his mattress. As he stared at the sky, he noticed that the roof was clear and the sky was gray, heat emanating all around the dome as he stared.

"...Kelp Dome." Splin muttered to himself.

He lifted himself up from his impromptu bed and hopped off. When he did, he felt a burning sensation down in his shoes. A small hiss escaped his lips as he hopped to one side. With a glance down at his shoes, he noticed his Orange Arrows soaked in a fuchsia liquid.

Splin's eyes widened. _"Oh no."_

He glanced directly ahead of him. A cylindrical tower stood tall among several rows of greens stuck in small metallic planter cubicles. On top of the tower, a spherical, yellow dome laid on top, with a shivering yellow fish stuck inside. The Zapfish jittered, whether from a nervous feeling or from the fact that it was being used to charge its own prison, Splin was unsure. However, he was sure of the Octoling that sat next to it. Her Octoling Goggles were wrapped around her neck, and a tired yet eager expression remained on her face. She stretched her arms, rustling her Octoling Armor somewhat, kicking at the air with her Octoling Boots.

Tai snickered mischievously. "Lady? My, how quaint of you."

At the foot of the tower, Sharq blinked rapidly until his eyes settled on Tai. From the way he carried himself sluggishly and the way his eyes spun, it was clear that he was just as confused as Splin was just seconds before. Only this time, he had an Octoling in front of him. An Octoling who did not remember them. Most certain of all, an Octoling that would no doubt beat them down.

"Next thing, I'll bet you'll take me out for a refined dinner at that little city of yours." She cooed down at him.

As if finished being stunned from drowning moments prior, Sharq's eyes focused on the Octoling. "...Tai?"

Splin wanted to shout that she probably did not remember them. She was probably just going to smack them silly.

But instead Tai's expression appeared taken aback, eyes growing wide, sweat dripping down her face. "M-Masaka? Baka na!"

"...What?" Sharq tilted his head in confusion.

Tai just grinned. Her symptoms of worry dissipated. "Heh. Just screwing with you." She stood up straight, cracked her knuckles...her boneless knuckles, and reached behind her back. "Well, it was nice knowing you."

"Hold on!" Splin shouted from across the way.

Both cephalopod teenagers turned towards him. Splin gritted his teeth and reached at his back. Still no weapon. Yet somehow Sharq could pull out a roller willy-nilly. Without a second thought, he charged towards the two.

The Octoling smirked, pulling out what appeared to be a Splat Bomb. "Aha. Another idiot I can blow up."

"Whoa, whoa!" Splin said shaking his hands in- Fear? Worry? It was hard to decipher considering the level of danger he was hurling himself into. "Can't we talk this out? Tai, you're nice, we can work this out!"

Apparently, "nice" was not exactly the word to use on her. "...Who told you that?"

Splin slowed down to a stop. "Eh?"

"...You know my name." She spoke dangerously as she walked towards the edge of the platform. "You know that I do not splat anyone."

Splin worried that she was going to explode in anger. Instead, she just sighed and shook her head. "Eh. Can't be helped."

"...You're going to let us go?" Sharq asked curiously.

"No, I'm going to knock you out and make sure you never tell anyone else." She replied, stretching her arms. "There goes my reputation…"

"Aw, ship." Splin cursed much louder than he would have hoped.

She leaped down from the platform above, kicking off of the Zapfish's bulb. Though shaken, the fish continued to buzz violently in its round cage. Reaching behind her back, she began bombarding the two Inklings with Splat Bombs aplenty. Sharq frowned at Splin with a shake of his head. Before he could shoot back any arguments, the two scattered to the side behind planters, just barely having dodged the ballistic ink bombs as they smashed into the floor. As Tai landed, she sunk into the violet ink, leaving a trail as she swum through the several puddles around the two.

"Uh, did she do this before?" Sharq asked. Instead of Splin responding, an octopus kicked him in the stomach. "Guh!"

"Sharq!" Splin reached out. He was punched in the chest. "Agh!"

Almost like a pinball, Tai bounced off of the two, raining blow after blow on them. The two scattered and left the area via a ramp that led up to a large steel skywalk that towered over the rest of the dome's floor. However, the Octoling was hot on their heels, shooting and tossing bombs at them. Instead of the murderous, terrible effect they would assume it would have, most of the bombs smacked into them and exploded somewhere else and the ink stained their clothes, but nothing more.

"Gaaaah!" Sharq squealed, smacking away several blots of ink. He turned to Splin, who ran next to them across the metal set of platforms. "Since when was Tai so violent?!"

Splin gave him a blank face.

"Oh." Sharq remarked under his breath. "Well, still! Can't you make her remember us or something?"

Splin glanced down at his hands. For whatever reason, they had helped them out throughout this mess. If he could get over to Tai and lay his hand on her…

He shuddered. It sounded like a much better idea in his head. Nevertheless, if they wanted to stop her from assaulting them with glass prisms and paint that would be painstaking to remove from their clothes later, he would need to do it. Eventually, the two stopped at the middle of the arena on a large, circular platform with two adjacent, thick slabs jutting out of it. They stopped in the center and turned around. The two simultaneously agreed in their minds that an angry Tai was absolutely terrifying. She was a fury of bombs and ink being launched in their direction. Splin turned to Sharq, a worried look mirrored in both of their eyes. With a nod, Sharq brandished his large roller that he managed to retain and slammed it into the platform.

Blue ink spread in an instant. Now that a new puddle was created, the two hopped into it and stayed put. Across from them, Tai hefted a Splat Bomb over her head, sloshing the violet ink back and forth within the glass container. She tossed the bomb at the pool of blue they hid in with a huff. The explosive flashed dangerously. All of a sudden, as the pyramid of ink appeared ready to explode, the brothers hopped out into the air. As the bomb exploded behind them, the brothers were launched towards the Octoling. Sharq smashed into her and the two of them unceremoniously tumbled over the side. Splin hopped off after them in squid form and dropped through the grates of the platform in an instant.

The next few seconds were, quite frankly, a mess. Sharq and Tai hit the floor. Tai hissed and punched him off of her with a loud smack. Splin aimed at the Octoling like a bullet and smashed into her.

The end result ended with a trio of groaning cephalopods. Sharq shook his head. He rubbed his right eye, a pang of pain erupting from the bottom. He then took notice of the two others. Splin laid in a pool of violet and stared at the sky tiredly. Tai rubbed her head and groaned.

"Jeez…" Tai muttered and glanced around. "...What?" She took immediate notice of the two brothers, especially Sharq. "Sharq? Why do you keep showing up in my- Oh jeez."

Sharq smiled back at her. "Hi Tai."

"Your eye…" She pointed out.

If there ever was a better term for black eye, Sharq had the prime definition. His trademark Inkling face was bruised around his right eye, puffing up somewhat.

Sharq just waved her off and laid a hand on the wounded eye. "I'm totally fine. Just stings a little."

"Who did this to you?" She asked with a scowl. "I'm not gonna pull any punches with them."

Sharq bit his lip. "Um, it doesn't matter right now. What matters is how Splin-" His left eye expanded in an instant. "Splin!"

Around the younger brother, the violet ink swirled dangerously. Splin sank into the goo quickly, much to the others' shock. The two other cephalopods sprinted for him, reaching their hands out for the younger brother.

"SPLIN!" They called.

He sank faster.

"Splin!"

It grew darker and darker.

"Splin."

Nothing.

* * *

"..."

Splin did not know where he was now. He felt like he was suffocating. He made a feeble attempt to open his mouth, but as soon as he did, it felt as though the breath was being sucked right out of him. He immediately elected to keep his mouth shut. For a while, he just drifted. He did not know where he was going or where he was.

"...Splin."

Splin hesitated. If he opened his eyes, they might be scorched by a flood of ink. He shut them tighter.

"...Open your eyes, Splin. I have to tell you something in person."

He shook his head violently. Whatever this voice was telling him, he did not want to give in.

"...Splin? ...Ugh, one second."

Not that he had a choice, the young Bate Brother waited.

"...Splin, honey?"

He froze.

"Open your eyes, please...Your father's made it pretty clear he wants to talk to you."

He started to gasp for breath. His eyes opened wide, and he was fully aware they could be corroded in an instant. But he certainly did not care. He knew those voices. Turning around, he saw nothing but pitch black. He began to hyperventilate, glancing around and around and-

A set of comfortable blue tentacles landed on his shoulders. "Calm down…oh my. You've grown so much."

Splin's heart could have stopped right then and there, and that would hardly matter. Not just because he might have had multiple ones, but because nothing was going to keep him from turning. A pair of Black Arrowbands and two bright hazel eyes stared back at him with a smile. Pirah hugged him from behind, her Black Pipe Tee barely visible in the darkness, though her Plum Casuals stood out the most. She buried her face into Splin's shoulder.

"I think I'm going to cry. Like, a whole flood." She sniffled. "I'm sorry we were late for your birthday. I don't even know how long, two years? Three- Oh, who cares."

"...This is a dream." Splin blinked once.

Pirah let go of him and smiled. "I wish I could be there in person. Trust me. I think I bugged Phish to the moon and back on much on how much I pleaded for this to happen."

"Phish?" Splin muttered in confusion.

"Splin, you are quite probably the fifth craziest Inkling I know." A voice permeated the area.

Splin and Pirah turned around, his mother with a growing smile on her face. Phish stepped forward, adjusting his tie. He wore a pair of Tinted Shades on his forehead and stepped forward on a pair of scuffed Black Trainers.

He stopped once and tapped his chin. "Well, right next to your brother."

"How is this-" Splin blinked rapidly.

With a squeal of delight, Pirah hugged him again. He felt like he was being suffocated again, but in a good way. "It's amazing, isn't it? I can't believe it either, but here we are! Gosh, I missed you."

"Pirah, you're going to splat him before I can get the chance to talk to him." Phish shook his head with a frown.

She rolled her eyes and let go. "Aw. Fun fact about your dad, he's always been a spoilsport. But I guess I can let the two of you talk."

As she finished, she stepped to the side, a smile still clearly apparent on her face. Splin stared at her in awe, then turned towards his father, who walked towards him slowly. He was not sure how to respond. He was glad, sure…but he had been gone for quite a few years. Should he be angry, he thought. This is just a dream.

Yet here his father was, kneeling in front of him. "...I'd imagine you must have a few questions."

Splin wanted to call him out. _"Yeah, like why did you kick us to the curb?"_ But the words failed him.

Phish closed his eyes with a sigh. "I get it, we've been gone for a while. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being gone, and I'm sorry for wishing you a belated birthday."

He wanted to contradict him. He wanted to argue that he was not sorry at all. But he did not. Did he want to? No…yes?

"I'm also sorry for making you go through all...that." He muttered as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

Splin looked appalled at his revelation. "That's what that was all about?!"

"...We needed to see if you could handle this." He scowled and glanced away. "It has been difficult trying to reaching you here. Even with...some help."

Splin swore he saw a shape flicker in the background. Whatever that was, he ignored it and continued to watch his father in front of him.

"But still, I cannot just let this go by anymore." Phish spoke up and stood up. "Splin, you and your brother have been through pretty strange stuff. Breaking things, getting teleported, Super Jumping-"

"Hey!" Pirah frowned and crossed her arms. "That's not fair. We do that too."

Phish chuckled to himself. "Yes, I guess we do. But Splin, I did not just come here to just comment on your life. You've got a few struggles ahead of you. Most...not great. But I'm sure you can...er, go at it. It's somewhat uncertain...you might second guess yourself."

"...Gee, thanks dad. Wonderful advice." Splin found himself saying. "Not at all generic."

Phish seemed startled. But behind him, Pirah seemed like she was trying not to laugh. He cleared his throat. "Er, I'm not great at helping people out with their problems. All I can really offer is a warning of things yet to come…voice, you're still watching over him?"

Yeah, sure.

"Well, there you go." Phish spoke up. "Things are going to be fine. I should know, I've come back from worse."

"But- Hang on." Splin scowled. "There's still so many questions. Where are you? Why did you leave?"

His father bit his lip. "...Sometimes there are no good answers to good questions."

Splin deadpanned in the dark. "Happy birthday to me."

"I'm sorry, Splin." Pirah folded her arms sympathetically. "We would explain more if we could. Some things are fragile, you know? We can't risk anything catastrophic happening if we say the wrong words."

"Sort of like your mother's feelings." Phish pointed out.

"Exact- Mm." She hummed dangerously and arched an eyebrow at Phish, who just smirked in response. "...Aw, it's true."

As she said so, she grappled the two of them in a hug. Phish sighed and made a face at Splin that suggested he played along. Splin rolled his eyes and huddled closer. The three of them remained in that position for quite some time.

Then Splin's eyes shot open. "Ah! Sharq!"

Breaking the hug, he glanced at the pitch black ceiling. There was no sight of anything but the dark color all around. He gritted his teeth.

"...Oh, it would be perfect if my little Sharq was here too." Pirah sighed and hugged herself morosely. "Maybe even Xarius…"

Phish nodded. "Right. Splin, remember to keep that advice in mind, and happy belated birthday."

"Wait, what?" Splin turned around at the two of them.

Phish and Pirah stood side by side in the darkness. All of a sudden, a white panel emerged from the black room. They waved back at Splin as more white tiles popped up from the darkness. One by one, the tiles began to obscure his view of them. His parents were now cloaked in an invisible white light. Splin shouted out for them, reaching across as the room vanished in a flash of light.

* * *

The youngest Bate Brother woke up on his bed in his small wooden home. He got up slowly but surely, a morose feeling flooding through his chest. His heart ached as it beat slowly, and yet he felt completely refreshed. Splin stood up on the ground with a sigh, and walked over towards the stairs of his house. He made his way to the door underneath, reached for the knob on the front, and turned it. Walking over towards the sink, he reached for the faucet when-

"Aaugh!" He screamed, reaching at the tie he found on his shirt.

Taking the random fashion accessory off of him, he quickly reached for the drawer underneath the sink and stuffed the tie inside. He then took the time to shut the door and turn on the faucet and douse himself with water, despite the sting it delivered to his face. Then he paused, turned off of the faucet, and sighed.

He stared down at the drawer. Nervously, he glanced around to check if anyone was around. After a double-take, he opened it and reached inside. The tie, with multiple fishes swimming around the pale blue sea on it, sat in the wooden comforts of the drawer. Splin retracted his hand with a tight grip around the tie. He raised it up to his neck and looked in the mirror.

"Happy belated birthday." He thought he heard his reflection say.

* * *

AN: There it is, folks. The rest of the chapters after this, assuming I don't quit writing due to Splatoon fading in popularity a bit, are probably going to focus on the other characters of the Bate Brothers universe. I'll probably end this story soon after I finish The Drafted Squid for plot reasons. You know, because I'm surprised this story managed to get a plot and get so far in the first place.

With that memo out of the way, time to respond to reviews. Thanks Ultrapyre, Rynowm, write n wrong, and sebastian G for reviewing.

It's been a long road of delays and writing Ultrapyre, but yes, it has been that long. Kinda startling, but it happened.

Rynowm, I hope this helped with that cliffhanger issue.

Yes, I am proud that I finally got Tai to punch someone write n wrong, it was certainly an exciting moment. Well, for me at least.

Thanks for chiming in again, sebastian G. It's nice to have old fans of the older story retain fond memories of it.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to do something. See you.


	59. Put On Thin Ice

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Put on Thin Ice**

Sharq shuffled along the streets of Inkopolis with a dainty jog. He had his trademark smile stuck plain on his face. The day was quite a plain yet jolly one. The regular hustle and bustle expected of a city of Inkopolis' caliber crowded the streets with pedestrians and traffic aplenty.

As Sharq strolled among the sidewalk, a hasty horn blared through the streets. In the streets, a vehicle, black and coated and pink and green spun by and prompted several other Inklings to duck for cover as it rolled by. Other cars were not quite as fortunate, rear view mirrors were sheared off of the sides of those stuck in traffic as the fashionable yet highly dangerous car accelerated at a tremendous rate.

However, Sharq seemed too gleeful, or deaf, to notice the carnage in the background. Behind him, he slung a burlap sack over his shoulder. _"Gee, it was sure nice of Splin to lend me some of his money."_

Overhead, an image of his brother popped up. The imaginary Splin was not exactly happy. _"I only said you could take what you needed!"_

Underneath the floating projection of a scolding brother, Sharq continued smiling. "Aw, it's fine Splin! You never know how much this stuff costs, you know."

" _Cold Sea has a website! I've checked it and ice cream does NOT cost an entire saving's worth."_ Imaginary Splin's eyebrows narrowed as he glared down from his lofty spot above.

Before Sharq could reply, he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure up ahead. Leaning on the side of a brick wall between an alleyway, an orange-tentacled Inkling sighed as he laid in the shade of his Jungle Hat. Next to him, a similar Inkling with the same orange tentacle style leaned by his side comfortably, a meager band wrapped around her forehead. She wore a Black LS and a pair of Choco Clogs and stood around and stared at the sky with a smile.

"Well, I gotta go Splin. If it makes you feel any better, I'll get you strawberry." Sharq winked at the cloud above his head then headed off for the wall.

" _Hold on!"_ His figment-of-his-imagination-brother cried out. _"You KNOW my favorite's-"_

The cloud dissipated as a pigeon flew by. As Splin disintegrated into thin air behind him, Sharq gave a cheerful wave towards the pair perched by the side of the wall.

"Hello!" Sharq called out politely.

Ari perked up almost immediately. A devious smirk crossed his face while a worried expression clouded his cousin's. He pushed himself off the wall and dusted himself off quickly and raised his own hand across his chest.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr-" He rolled his tongue.

"Ari, please." Sari muttered behind him.

She attempted to cover her face with the band on her head, but ended up blind with a cloth wrapped around her eyes. Nevertheless she seemed fine with the results and rested back comfortably on the wall.

Ari pursed his lips. "Rival. Er, excuse me a minute."

Sharq simply waved him off. Without hesitation, Ari skedaddled on over towards the brick wall where Sari continued to stand blind. He walked next to her and began to speak in her right ear for a moment. She glanced at Sharq for a brief moment and the elder Bate Brother waved back with a confused yet friendly smile. Sari turned back towards her cousin and the conversation resumed.

It might have escalated into a full on debate if Sharq had not stepped in and said, "Uh, you seem busy, sorry. I'll just grab some ice cream and-"

"Ice cream!" The eccentric orange Inkling repeated with interest. "Sounds wonderful, doesn't it dear cousin?"

He lifted Sari's headband off of her eyes. She blinked and frowned. "I- I dunno." She then turned towards Ari and whispered, "Ari, you said that you would be cool about all of this."

As if it had went in one ear and out the other, Ari simply gripped his cousin by her wrist and smiled. "We'd be delighted my good Sharq!"

"Oh!" Sharq smirked albeit somewhat slowly. "Well, then it's a good thing I brought extra coins."

" _Stop spending so much of our money!"_ Splin's voice yelled out in his head, along with pigeon coos for whatever reason.

Sharq simply ignored Splin's voice and cleared his throat. "Well then, follow me. I know a place."

With that, Sharq shoved off with a jolly jog. Ari turned towards his cousin, who glared back at him with a powerful reluctance. A silent battle ensued between the two. Ari attempted to persuade her with winks and puppy-dog eyes, or the sea creature equivalent, whereas Sari just scowled at him. Soon enough, Ari's hapless attempts at persuasion appeared to have won the "staring debate", much to his cousin's dismay. She sighed and nodded her head and the two followed Sharq as he ventured through the city in search of a dairy treat.

* * *

"We're here!" Sharq announced as he threw his hands up into the air. "Geez, it felt like it only took a second!"

The trio of Inklings stood in front of a small store on the boardwalk of a beach. A wooden pier extended out from the boardwalk, several fishermen of all shapes and sizes, from Inklings to jellyfish, to the ironic bass that stood upright with a pole in his hand. The tide washed onto the sand beneath them as they stood still.

Projected from the top of the store out for the world to see was a poignant sign that read, "Cold Sea Creamery" and a small drawing of a scoop in a cone underneath. Sharq slung the sack of coins over his head with a grin then turned behind him. "This is one of my favorites."

Ari and Sari gave polite nods to Sharq as he began to step towards the glass doors of the store. As he did so, Sari leaned in towards her cousin and spoke up, "Look, Ari, thanks for taking me out to cheer me up. But I really don't feel like-"

"Er, hey. It's fine." He smiled back at her. "After all, Rival- Sharq, happens to be paying."

"I just don't feel hungry." Sari shrugged shyly.

Ari frowned in response. Behind them, Sharq blinked curiously. "Don't feel hungry?"

Immediately Ari tilted his Jungle Hat up and waltzed over to Sharq. "Ah, it's just her weak metabolism talking!"

"Hey!" Sari complained from behind the two.

He simply smirked and wrapped an arm around Sharq's shoulder. "Let's have a bite of some of that ice cream, shall we? Come on, Sari."

Sharq just smiled along with him. "Alright!"

As the two boys walked towards the doors of the store, Sari crossed her arms behind them. Just before they reached the handles on the doors, Ari shot back another puppy dog stare and made sure to make his eyes glisten more. Somehow.

His cousin groaned, threw her hands up in the air, and shouted, "Yeah, I'm coming! Hold your seahorses," Then took off to follow the two.

As soon as they entered the store, the fresh scent of baked goods and the large ceiling fan that spun overhead refreshed them. A handful of small circular tables were littered around the enclosure with small red stools to boot. At the counter, a rather comatose-faced Inkling stood watch at the counter, or rather slouched adjacent to a glass pane that stretched across a separate freezer. The glass pane exposed several delightful decadent colors of frozen dairy treats.

At least it should have, Sharq thought, as he gawked at the completely empty ice cream freezer. "What?"

"What the?" Ari blinked once and his face curled up into a scowl. "Are you kidding me? Did it all melt or something?"

He whirled towards the cashier at the counter boredly yet intently having a staring contest with the wall. "Hey you!"

"Mm?" The Inkling that leaned at the cash register moved up and revealed a name tag printed on his black shirt with "Cold Sea" embroidered in it.

Sharq recognized the name tag almost instantaneously. "Whoa! Prothe? You work here too?"

Prothe's grimace grew further at the sound of another voice. He ceased his attention and granted the staring wall a temporary victory, "Yeah, well, it's my day job- Oh, well if it isn't Mr. Talking-Violent Shopping Bag. Where'd your little nosy companion crawl off to?"

"Bate's my last name, actually." Sharq pointed out. "Tai- Er, the shopping bag isn't with me right now."

At the mention of the Octoling, Ari grew somewhat stiff legged. "...Where is she, anyways?"

Sharq shrugged for a moment. "I saw her in her dream the other day."

"...Her dream." He scowled and stared at the floor. "Lucky."

Then he turned back towards the cashier. He pointed at him with his right index finger and shouted, "Regardless, we need to know where the ice cream is!" He gripped Sharq by the shoulders and pulled him close. "My rival here-"

Sharq waved with a sheepish grin. "Hi."

"I, Ari," He spoke with an open mouthed smile and a glint in his teeth. Not that Prothe really cared. "And my fair cousin- Er...fair cousin…"

Ari turned around towards the glass doors. Through the panes he could see Sari sitting on the edge of the wooden boardwalk. She kicked her legs back and forth melancholily, one arm wrapped around the other as the waves kicked up against the sandy shore. The sight of his destitute cousin seemed to have triggered something in Ari's head that made him scowl.

He turned back towards Prothe as his eyes began to drift towards the ceiling tiredly. As he gazed back towards them tiredly Sharq wondered how much money he made with the two jobs. "Dunno. No new shipments."

"Then why is this place still open?!" Ari asked in irritation.

Prothe yawned and planted his chin on the counter. He gestured a thumb towards a door in the back. "We dropped the 'closed' sign back there a while back. Normally it doesn't matter, but I'm not getting paid if I don't show up and do something."

Sharq piped in and asked, "Why don't you just go to your other job then?"

"I prefer the ocean view." Prothe gestured towards the front of the store out to the sea and pier.

The elder Bate Brother nodded. "It is pretty."

"That and if I feel like it I can dip myself in." The cashier grumbled under his breath.

"What?" Sharq hummed curiously.

He folded his arms and rested them back on the counter. "Nothing."

"Great, so that's that?" Ari glowered at the other Inkling.

"Unless you plan on marching up to the factory and demanding that they get you some for yourself, then yep." Prothe shrugged with a smirk. "Good luck with that sir."

With that, Ari just shook his head indignantly and began to stomp out of the store. The other two Inklings stood there and watched as he made his way to the doors and fumbled with the handles for a moment before he moved out. Ari also happened to slam the doors behind them, much to the employee's distaste.

"Nice friends you got. Seem like real nice people." Prothe muttered with a roll of his eyes and planted his head back on the counter. He stared down at the floor this time as if it was a necessary opponent to face in his venture to stare at every flat surface.

Sharq smiled. "They're great, right? Thanks for the suggestion."

While Sharq let the sarcasm pass him by like a freight plane, he walked out of the store through the entrance. Pushing the doors out carefully and stepping out into the beach boardwalk, he began walking towards the other two Inklings. Ari seemed to be having another debate with his cousin, though much less silent this time.

"Come on, cous!" Ari spoke up in a much less defined accent that would normally befit a narrator. Sharq listened from behind him as he spoke. "Look, I know that you're not in a great mood-"

Sari rubbed her left arm with her right. "I know you know, Ari. I'm just worried about you."

"Hey, I'm alright!" Ari gritted his teeth. "This ain't about me, this is about-"

Behind them, Sharq coughed. The two that sat on the edge of the wooden plank jolted up in shock. Sari's tentacles twitched and Ari's hat rustled on top of his head. Both of them spun around frantically.

"Um…" Sharq raised his index finger. "Are you two okay?"

Sari cleared her throat and got up to her feet. "Yeah. They're out of ice cream, right? Sorry, we'll get going."

"Oh no you don't!" Ari shouted and gripped Sari by the collar of her shirt. She yipped in surprised as he dragged her back. "The guy said something about a factory? Well we're goin' to the factory then, let's go!"

Sharq began to frown. He stared at Ari and said, "...I mean, we don't have to. I can go home and leave you two be."

While he spoke, his attention gravitated towards his cousin. There was a plea in Sari's eyes, a very concerned and somewhat terrified plead. Her pupils shook with fraught nerves and a secret terror.

Sharq just smiled in response, much to her surprise. "It's alright. I don't want to be any trouble."

With that said, he began to walk off with a hum. He slung his cloth sack of coins over his shoulders as he did so. Behind him, Sari sighed in relief. Ari on the other hand hardly looked relieved in any meaning of the word.

"Er, wait! Sharq!" Ari called out. "We'd actually like to visit the factory!"

He turned around again. However, Sharq did not look too convinced. Crossing his arms Sharq began speaking, "Really? I dunno Ari. I don't think Sari is up to it."

"I- Well-" He stammered and stared at his cousin.

She seemed to shrink under his gaze. Sari stared at the floor sheepishly, Sharq stared at them curiously and patiently, and Ari stood there while several beads of sweat dripped down his face. Without a moment to spare, he gripped Sari by her hand and stared her straight in the face. His eyes practically screamed a plea as his own cousin stared back with a mirrored expression. Again, however, the contest results were gifted to Ari as his cousin shut her eyes.

"Great! Let's go!" Ari cried out and pulled her off.

As they passed by Sharq, Ari also gripped and pulled him away. The trio ran for seemingly no reason other than the orange Inkling that wore the Jungle Hat's haste. They sprinted off into the city quickly and left a trail of dust in their wake.

* * *

Their footsteps pounded against the sidewalk. On the outside, Ari pointed out a few of the buildings they passed by and attempted to retain a narrative as they ventured. On the inside, he panicked as he scanned Inkopolis for search of a single factory with a doodle of an ice cream on front. The problem was that the side of Inkopolis he searched in was full of industrial buildings. It became difficult to find a single specific corporation in the mesh of logos that were stamped onto each one.

Sharq, as he was dragged along, could not help but wonder why anyone would go to such lengths for ice cream. Perhaps it had to do with hunger? Maybe Ari just really wanted ice cream. It did not seem like his cousin was too excited, however. Sari looked like she wanted nothing to do with it. She continually stared at the ground in a sort of shame.

Before Sharq could ask what was the matter, the three skidded to a stop with Ari at the head of the group. He laughed somewhat nervously. "There it is!"

Sharq would have been impressed. The three stood in front of a large gate. Behind the gates, several large buildings, a few with large funnels erected out of the top laid dormant. Several delivery trucks sat in front of steel garage doors. The rectangle receptacles on the backs of the vehicles seemed completely empty, however. Several tumbleweeds blew past and rolled lazily across the cement floor.

Regardless of the factory's clear state of emptiness, Ari was raring to go. He moved behind the two and began to push them towards the gate. "Alright, let's go and get a bite!"

Sari scooted along the pavement quite reluctantly while Sharq's eyes widened as they were pushed into the gate. Ari continued to push forward, though his scrawny teenage Inkling body made little to no progress. Eventually, as it seemed that he would get nowhere with his "polite pushes", he turned into an orange squid.

"You might wanna change for this." He grunted and backed up.

Sharq turned around. "Wait, what-"

Ari tackled the both of them. Though surprised, both Sharq and Sari switched into squids. The group slipped through the bars of the gate and ended up on the other side with a few groans of pain to boot. Immediately Ari switched back to an Inkling and picked up his cousin. He sprinted towards a warehouse by one of the factory buildings where a single truck sat. Sharq groaned on the ground and reverted back into his regular Inkling form as he did so.

He got up to his feet and adjusted his Takoroka Mesh. He coughed, noticed the others, and shouted, "Hey, w-wait a minute!"

* * *

The garage door to the warehouse was already lifted up and open. The lights were shut off. As Ari and Sari entered the room, he haphazardly placed her on the ground next to several empty cardboard boxes.

She switched back into an Inkling and glared at his cousin. "Ari, this has gone long enough! Calm down!"

He walked over towards a light switch and flicked it on. Several lamps mounted from the ceiling beamed brightly and illuminated the room. It revealed several empty boxes with the "Cold Sea" logo stamped on them left around the warehouse. In the middle of the warehouse, a large machine with a large funnel, a cylindrical glass container, and conveyor belt extended to the other side of the building interior. A short staircase led up to a small platform that bordered the top of the machine. Placed on a table stacked on the platform, several stacks of ice and flavorings in small bottles sat on a table above the funnel.

"No. No, I can't accept that!" He smirked as he began ascend the stairs.

He gripped the railing tight as he ran upwards. Through his stride, Sari got up on her feet and chased after him. The stairs creaked underneath them as they ran. By the entrance, another figure entered the warehouse panting. Sharq walked by the wall and leaned on it with his left arm while he caught his breath.

Between gasps, he glanced up, his mouth agape in surprise. "Whoa!"

"Sharq, help me!" Sari cried out as she attempted to grab at his Varsity Jacket.

Ari shouted something along the lines of, "Rival, please stay out of this!" as he sprinted towards the ingredients.

Sharq hesitated; a blue bead of sweat dripped down his face. He stood and stared at them. At the very top, Ari grinned and reached at the table. He picked up a bag of ice and began to empty the cold contents into the funnel. It fell into the glass container with several clunks. Without hesitation, he went on to empty the various flavorings in without a second thought. While he did so, he kept an eye on a panel on the side of the machine. Several dials and knobs, one prominent red one with several numbers organized around it pointed out and gleamed dangerously.

Sari finally reached the top of the staircase and ran towards her cousin. "Is this about them?"

"No, this is about you!" Ari shouted in irritation as he shoved more and more ingredients in. "You don't need to return! Just take a rain-check!"

"Huh?" Sharq blinked in confusion.

In Sharq's eyes, it appeared as though the two were in the midst of an argument. However, the machine was rather tall. So tall in fact, that from the bottom facing the platform, it was difficult to really piece together what they were saying. However, there was definitely something happening. Something...probably not great. Sharq switched into a blue squid, aimed at the ceiling, and jumped.

Ari reached for the dial. A smirk stretched across his face while sweat poured down from his forehead. His cousin held him back using his left arm, though Ari was hardly willing to stop.

"Let's just talk this over some dessert! You don't have to leave!" Ari laughed as he reached for the dial.

Sari grunted as she held him back. "Ari, calm down!"

He laughed again. With one swift move, he tripped up his cousin. She gasped as she face planted into the metal platform with a grunt. She began to tear up, though Ari hardly noticed. He continued to reach for the dial.

Until Sharq toppled the platform.

A blue squid slammed into the bottom and shook the foundation. The two orange Inkling on the top stumbled and fell back. The staircase and platform wobbled back and forth. Sari gripped at the railing of the platform and held Ari by his hand as the two hung precariously from the ledge. The shakes stopped eventually as they settled back into place.

Sari, though orange leaked through her eyes, stared down at her cousin. "Are you alright!?"

Below her, Ari remained silent. He just stared away at the floor.

She gritted her Inkling beak. "Answer me! Ari, are you-"

Without any further warning, Ari let go. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head as she watched her cousin fall.

Below, Sharq rubbed his squid head uncomfortably. He was surrounded by a pile of disturbed boxes flung about from the chaos. Though he did manage to snag a bag of ice to use for his aching head, he still suffered from the bruise he had received when he greeted the platform.

In between rubbing his head, Sharq began calling up to the platform, "How are you guys doing?"

"Gah!" Both Ari and Sharq answered back immediately when they smashed into each other.

The two of them laid dazed on the floor for a little while. Sharq managed to get up after a minute, though he still felt a headache.

"Ari!"

The elder Bate Brother turned towards the stairs. Ari remained down on the ground, though he avoided her gaze. Sari descended down from the railing with a slide in her orange squid form then switched to an Inkling as she reached the ground. Sharq blinked, then moved to the side as she sprinted towards her cousin sprawled out on the floor. She leaned down and lifted him up onto her lap.

She placed one ear to her cousin's chest. Sari sighed in relief. "He still has a heartbeat…"

Sharq felt as though he should point out that they might have a bunch of hearts. He held his tongue.

Of course, when he saw her slap her cousin silly, he instantly decided it was a good idea. She smacked him back and forth with the palm of her hand, all the while she yelled, "What were you thinking?!"

Through a vigorous wake-up via slaps, Ari finally came to. In the middle of her hundredth slap, Ari grabbed her hand and leaned in. The two stared at each other for the third time today. Sari looked angry. Ari looked miserable.

Then the unexpected happened. He leaned in, buried his face in her Black LS, and sobbed. "Oh, dear cousin! Why must you cause such grief?!"

"Me?!" Sari complained with an appalled expression. "Ari, I will only be gone a week!"

"...Eh?" Sharq blinked in confusion.

While Ari continued to bawl and soak his cousin's shirt, she turned to Sharq with a rather plain, yet exasperated expression. She cleared her throat. "My parents are-"

"Please, at least let me provide the narrative!" Ari sobbed tragically with one arm slung across his face.

Sari just shook her head and stepped back. "Alright."

Now in the spotlight, Ari stood up straight. He cleared his throat. "Long ago, my parents were happily wedded together."

"Wrong story!" Sari scowled and began to walk out the warehouse. "Forget it-"

Ari's eyes expanded. "No, wait!"

Sari arched an eyebrow. "Then just tell him the truth. Plain and simple."

He muttered to himself. Ari took off his Jungle Hat and revealed a pair of small, tied up tentacles. "Fine. Sari is going back to Splatlake City to spend the next week with her sister."

"Whoa, wait," The elder Bate Brother shook off ice from the top of his head, "You have a sister?" Sharq asked curiously.

She rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. "Yeah."

"Older or younger?" He repeated as he stepped up among the pile of boxes.

"Older." Sari muttered under her breath.

Ari piped up from behind his cousin, "Can I SPEAK?!" With that, Sari sighed and moved out of his way again. He stepped at her side and cleared his throat yet again. "Why does she have to go back?! She's my best friend! It is absolutely heartbreaking! And tragic! And-"

"And only a week-long." Sari sighed and covered her face in embarrassment. "Honestly, that is so like you, Ari."

As she spoke, Ari started to bicker yet again. Another argument between the two erupted, much to Sharq's confusion. So it seemed, at least, until Sharq stepped in front of them. This time, he finally got to clear his own throat and attracted the attention of the two Inkling cousins. They ceased their arguments and stared at him.

"Alright," Sharq sighed and rubbed his temples. "So Ari doesn't want you to go."

"Again, it's just a week, Ari!" Sari frowned and crossed her arms.

Sharq raised his hand for silence as he leaned on the side of the stairs. "You've considered his feelings in all of this, right? Sari, you've been his cousin for who knows how long. Give him a break, maybe mull it over again, huh?"

Sari frowned and glanced at him with a deadpan stare. "...Sharq, you don't really know much about me."

"But I do know about family stuff!" He piped up as he spun towards Ari. "Dude, if Sari does go, it's only a week! Don't pressure her into stuff she doesn't want to do. Trust me."

A brief image of a familiar Inkling popped up in the back of his head. Sharq felt a chill run up his back and shivered in response. The two other Inklings glanced at one another in uncertainty and a drop of sweat. They stared at Sharq and wanted to say something. But before they could say anything, each one of the Inkling's ears twitched. They turned around and stared at the machine. It rattled dangerously as cream sloshed around within the glass. It might have been rather delectable and glorious looking, had it not been for the whisks. Two metallic whisks inside of the glass rumbled and jittered within and smacked the glass; a crack emerged each time it struck.

Sari and Sharq turned their nervous gazes towards Ari. With a glance, he grinned. "...Care for dessert?"

The glass shattered behind them and released the flood.

* * *

Splin sat at home with a glare directed at the ceiling. While he laid on his bed, Ann-Gel and the Tele-Cube "rolled" as efficiently as they could with sweatbands wrapped around their head. They jogged around the house as much as they could with flat surfaces stuck to the bottoms of their feet.

Maria stood by her bed with her Golf Visor tilted upwards. "That's the spirit you two. Keep it up."

"I've never felt so alive!" Ann-Gel laughed as she ran.

The Tele-Cube beeped behind her in agreement. While they continued their exercises, Splin stood up suddenly and looked around. His ears twitched and his tentacles sagged from the band on his head. Not to mention the state of his bed, he looked just about as enthusiastic as a raccoon who had been socked over the head with a trash can. If raccoons were still around, at least.

The mother Inkling from another dimension blinked at him curiously. "What's the matter?"

"...I can't shake this bad feeling. Sharq still hasn't come back." He grumbled restlessly.

Maria made a stop motion with her hand. The trophy and the cube halted in the middle of the room and sat on the ground and gasped for breath, as strange as that may have been. "Have you tried to call him?"

"Yep." He muttered and fingered the insides of his pockets restlessly. "Hasn't answered."

Just then, a knock sounded off by the front of the house. Splin arched an eyebrow, stepped off of his bed, and walked over towards the door. As he walked, he made sure to step over the two objects on the floor. He twisted the doorknob and pulled it open.

In front of him, Sharq blinked back at him with a smile. He carried a small box in his right hand and hoisted a burlap sack over his left shoulder. Several different colors, from pink, to green, to brown covered him from head to toe. The inhabitants of the house stared at him like he was an alien.

* * *

Elsewhere, Ityl sneezed.

* * *

"...Either you entered a Turf War…" Splin muttered as he reached over with one finger and traced across one of the green liquids. It felt cool to the touch as small brown chips floated daintily on the surface. "Or I take it you visited 'Cold Sea'?"

"It was great! I even got to solve a dispute between Ari and his cousin!" He grinned.

"...Really?" Splin deadpanned with a frown. "I'll have to ask you about that later. But first, you ought to take a shower. You look like a clown."

* * *

As Sharq bathed in steaming liquids to get rid of the cold ones he had been drenched in moments prior, two orange tentacled Inklings sat at a bench by the edge of Inkopolis. A black street stretched out into the country at the border of the city by a sign that welcomed anybody and everybody into the city. Very few buildings remained at the edge aside from the small, sleepy gas station the two sat by. A sleepy shrimp stared out at the same road from inside. The bench stationed by had a tall sign with a bus painted on it.

Sari hardly said a word and stared out at the road.

"...You considering Rival's words?" Ari asked hopefully as he edged up to his cousin.

She closed her eyes and sighed. "He's a nice guy, but I don't think I can take him seriously. I've made up my mind, Ari."

"Ah." He muttered and stared up at the sky.

A smile crossed Sari's face as she wrapped her arm around her cousin. "Hey, it's not so bad. I get a break from your craziness, and you can buddy up with Rit and Bas."

Ari turned to her and scooted closer. "It's not as fun narrating with three people."

She giggled once. "That's because it's supposed to be a single person's job."

Ari sighed in response and leaned on her shoulder. Sari sighed and attempted to do the same, though she ended up by having her head planted on top of her cousin. They stayed like that for quite a while before the sound of wheels and smog came around. A large bus with a glowing sign atop the front that read, "Splatlake City" started rolling by. It stopped in front of the two and sputtered as it stopped.

As the vehicle neared, Sari smiled and said, "This is it." She stood up, but threw a glare towards him. "No turning back, alright?"

"...Fine." Ari sighed and hugged his cousin. "I will miss you, fair Sari Jabin."

She just hummed and hugged back. "You as well, good Ari Jabin."

With that said, the doors to the bus opened. Sari broke the hug and stepped off from the sidewalk. She stepped onto the bus, turned towards her cousin, and curtseyed politely. In front of the bench, Ari stood proud and took a bow. The bus doors shut behind her as she began to walk towards the back of the bus to take her seat. Ari sighed and watched the bus shove off from Inkopolis out into the world.

He took up a seat at the bench, shook his head, and sighed. "Why do all of the girls I love like to leave me?"

Ari pondered this as he sat on the bench and stared at the sky. He thought he could glean an octopus in the shapes of the clouds, but he shrugged it off and sat back on the bench.

* * *

AN: This was initially going to be a short chapter. Then I wanted plot with Ari and his cousin to happen. I guess I could sum up a majority of my stories with this formula.

Thanks write n wrong for reviewing. Who knows if it's a dream or not? That will just have to wait, I suppose.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to get work done. After all, I can't make stories I or any of you enjoy by sitting around looking at everyone else's stories, artwork, or anything and not decide to get inspired by it. See you.


	60. A Crossroad's End

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **A Crossroad's End**

Maria shivered in her sheets as she stared up at the ceiling. The stars here had a habit of blinking every so often. Over the course of the many months that have passed by since her departure, she noticed so many changes. It unnerved her on the inside.

For one, her favorite stores and restaurants were gone. The mall she used to stockpile on so much little squid care items was there. The familiar stores were not. She was certainly surprised to see a _GameShark_ in place of just the simpler _GAMINK_ she was used to passing by ever so often on a shopping spree. Not that her children played video games as often as they did fight people to the death, but still…

Then there were the people. She had certainly encountered her many, many renditions of slimeballs that she had to teach a thing or two to about manners, but she noticed the little circle of friends Splin and Sharq had been so...peaceful. The occasional haywire Octoweapon or bizarre occurrence had popped up in the past, but instead of solving problems with punches, they just shrugged it off like it was nothing. She admittedly found them sort of adorable, though she worried a little about Tai...

Finally, the stars...they honestly scared her. They were as beautiful as ever, blinking and twinkling up in the night sky. Arranged in several constellations she was never too interested in remembering, she would stare up at them every night here.

The scary part was that they looked the exact same as back home.

She hummed to herself and curled up on her side, but she soon found herself whistling a familiar, homesick tune. The sight of orange and blue tentacles invaded her vision. She ceased her merry tune and laid on top of her comforter.

She rolled over so that she faced the ceiling. "Oh…these past days have been torture." She muttered and gripped her head.

 _"There was that toy plane incident."_

* * *

Maria rubbed her head in confusion. She crinkled her lips as she stood on top of the grass hills, her hands planted firmly on her hips. Just earlier, she had felt something scratch the top of her head. She had originally believed a bee had swung by for a sucker punch, but she did not feel a fuzzy little carcass on top of her head. The concerned (and somewhat terrified) gazes that Splin and Sharq had on were not reassuring either.

"Maria!" The duo had yelped. Sharq bit his fingers nervously while Splin covered his mouth, his eyes expanded in fright. "Are you okay?!"

She simply smiled and waved back at them with her right hand while she rubbed her head with her left, albeit somewhat confused. "I'm fine. I think a bug bit me, though."

Sharq raised one of his chewed fingers. "Er...you don't feel anything?"

She pursed her lips. Her head did itch a little. "...Sort of?"

"No pain?" Sharq asked with a tilt of his head.

Maria wanted to laugh at his sweet expression. She figured she would answer his question honestly. "No pain."

"That's a relief!" He smiled, though Splin did not look too glad. He seemed to be in a horrified trance, even when Sharq slapped him on the back and said, "I was worried that you weren't fireproof."

Suddenly Maria did not find Sharq cute little question so cute. "...Hmm?"

That was when she could smell it. Among the many scents of the hill, grass, old wooden cottage, and the occasional seagull, she sniffed...smoke?

She glanced down at her pants. Her eyes opened in shock. Fire crawled up her left leg like a snake, with a similar "hiss" sound to boot. Except, instead of toxins traveling up her legs, it served to char her leg and bottom of the pants until they were black with soot.

"...Ah?" She remarked with a calm voice at first.

Then the rest of the grass that surrounded her caught fire.

"AH!" Maria yelped and dashed out of the ring of flames while Splin and Sharq fumbled over each other in an attempt to snuff the tongues of red that lapped around in a loop.

* * *

 _"Then there was the earthquake."_

The three biological Inklings, Splin, Sharq, and Maria sat underneath the kitchen counter while they covered their heads. They warily stared up at the ceiling as they felt the ground shake and shift under them. Sharq made a brief habit; he held onto the counter for dear life. However, if they considered the fact that they were marooned on top of a hill with a sizable slope that led down, it might have been for naught.

The house itself was a mess. It was a good thing a quarter of the objects around their house were animate. Ann-Gel held on tight to Maria's Cream Hi-Tops' shoelaces. The Tele-Cube planted itself firmly between the refrigerator and the countertops. The organic Inklings held onto each other tight, the lot of them sweated bullets as the rumbles in the earth's crust continued. All the while, the television buzzed static.

Just then, a noise akin to that of a jet roared by. Maria turned out towards the nearest window and gasped. "Please...no!"

An orange scar tore through the blue sky. For one tense moment, Maria hardly felt the earth as it shook underneath her. The ominous glow in the sky emanated for quite some time, then faded into the blue. She stared at the sky cautiously, then turned back towards the others.

"Splin, Sharq!" She cried out with a gasp, "Are you okay?"

Splin grunted and flopped onto the ground on his back. He twisted his body and switched back into a squid until a satisfying crick sounded off from him. "Never better." He coughed and laid on the ground. "How about you, Sharq?"

The older brother promptly fell back and laid on the floor by the stove. "Great days," He mumbled as his eyes swirled about.

"Yeah, okay." Splin groaned and stood up slowly. "Everybody else good?"

A chirp noise like that of a strangled mockingbird called out. Maria and Splin glanced towards the fridge as a disorientated Sharq attempted to stand straight, though he ended up with his back bent over as if the ceiling was worth the screams of his muscles. The Tele-Cube blinked and sparked, then promptly fell out of its hiding spot onto the floor with a clank. A loud groan sounded off from the box and though it screeched and whined like a small pup, it floated up and chirped back at them.

Splin sighed in relief. "Okay...that leaves...Ann-Gel?"

"I feel fine!" A small feminine voice squeaked. "...Al-Although, I think I need some help."

Maria looked around the house. "Where are you?"

"...Uh, that depends on which part of me you're talking about." She spoke up.

Immediately, Splin and Maria dashed over across the kitchen table. As soon as they found her, they screamed.

"Guys, I'm fine!" Ann-Gel spoke up, "...I think? I can only really feel my face honestly."

She laid on the ground, but not in one piece. Ann-Gel's cream-colored legs stuck like glue to her pedestal, but her torso laid beside the bottom of the kitchen counter. Her disembodied head laid across from both and her plastic tentacles held her up like substitute legs. She blinked and her eyes and pupils still moved, though it looked as though she could not move otherwise.

"Um, I'd like to be put back together... Soon. Please." She whimpered as she stared at her discarded body parts.

She hopped over on her plastic head towards her torso. Unfortunately, she forgot to stretch her tentacle muscles and just fell flat on the floor.

"Oh, geez. Here, let me help with that." Splin spoke up and crouched down.

He pinched the tentacles that jutted off her head and lifted her up. Ann-Gel's eyes spun about and she bit her lip as she spun about from an orange thread. Splin took one look at her and wondered if she would grow motion sick. Nevertheless, he continued on. He picked up her torso and squirmed squeamishly at the touch.

"Uh. Splin?" Ann-Gel spoke up in his left hand's fingers and nodded as best she could to the rest of her.

"...Sorry." He muttered in embarrassment.

Maria watched as he reattached her, head to toe in a literal sense. Behind her, Sharq seemed to finally stop to view the room like a carnival ride and began to check on the Tele-Cube as it hovered just as dizzily as he had moments before.

As everyone else recovered, she stared out the window at the sky. She held her breath and reached out as if she could catch one last glimpse of the orange streak.

She now held her head in between the palms of her hands as she pushed her head into her pillow. Maria shut her eyes tight and kept them closed as if that would help sleep flood her.

* * *

Countless other events similar had happened. She recalled blacking out. She bit her lip and slammed her head into the pillow. As if there was a ringing in her ears, she covered them with both pillows on her bed. It was as if the color in the sky, the explosion noises, and every other indication of devastation still lingered.

Oh yeah, and the fact that another loud crash sounded off in the background did not help.

Maria leaped out of bed. She could feel her heart race faster and faster as the moments passed. The sound of pots and pans being rustled and clattered against other surfaces only made her more paranoid. At the sound of a skillet knocked over, she launched a kick towards the direction she assumed it came from.

Her eyes widened. In the split second that she could see what exactly she hit, a cube whined as it was punted out the ceiling. The block made a perfect field goal and launched straight out of the hole in the Bate household ceiling with a whirring noise that sounded like a person screaming. Maria covered her mouth as she watched the lights in the box flicker off as it vanished into the midnight sky.

She then heard a snore. Maria whirled around and glanced cautiously at the brothers. They continued to roll about in their sleep. Sharq switched into a squid in the middle of his slumber and practically attempted to suffocate himself in his comforter and snored into the pillow. She suppressed a smile.

Maria glanced around quickly. She bit her lip and walked around the house. Checking counters, she continued glancing at nooks and crannies in the house. After a few minutes, she heaved a lengthy sigh.

As she stood up, she caught what she needed in the corner of her eye. She swiveled on her heel and pursed her lips. A white sheet of paper stuck out of the top dresser drawer. Right in between the two sleeping brothers.

Maria felt her shoulders tense up. With a cautious, stealthy stride she walked up towards the wooden cabinet. Splin and Sharq did not seem to mind and just fidgeted ever so slightly in their sleep. The mother in lime reached over for the drawer and pulled at its wooden knob. It slid open and revealed a set of neatly stacked papers, pencils, and other writing supplies; the sheet of paper she had seen stick out like a sore settled back on the stack gently.

Quickly, she picked up a pen and a single sheet of paper. Maria pushed the drawer back into place where it closed with a thunk as it hit the back of the dresser.

The pen was a whirlwind as Maria wrote. Seconds passed, and a note was inscribed on the paper. She turned back and placed it on top of the dresser and neatly arranged it by an alarm clock, which appeared to be in a "snooze mode" if the "z"s on the screen were any indication.

Maria made for the door, but not before one last thing. Despite her better judgment, she sighed, reached over to the two Inklings that laid in their beds, and rubbed their heads. Even then, they hardly reacted. Sharq seemed to make some sort of purr noise, and as endearing as Maria found it, she left it at that.

She walked towards the door, and with one last cursory glance back, Maria left the house. The night air was chilly, but she continued on regardless. She switched into a small green squid, aimed at the sky, and blasted off into the stratosphere.

* * *

In the night sky, Maria stared down with her squid eyes and scanned the ground for any traces of the cube. She narrowed her eyes further and further until she realized something.

She groaned as she looked down at the city and thought, _"How am I supposed to find a neon-colored box in THAT?"_

The nightlife of Inkopolis began to shine. A lot, in fact. Neon signs, the glow of the Great Zapfish, street lights and apartment building windows lit up with a bright fervor. Despite the lack of Splatfests or sun for that matter, the city shined and the characters rejoiced in their own little lives.

If Maria did not find that cube, she doubted that her very life would matter.

Perilous reminder after perilous reminder flooded her head. _"...The Zapfish fiasco..."_

She gritted her teeth. As she fell back to earth, she remembered days prior.

* * *

Inkopolis had suffered tremor after tremor. Within the city, there were several telltale signs that it was having a lasting impression. Glass windows were shattered and several billboards and other advertisements detached from their posts. A sign for Jelonzo's Jelly Fresh shop came down with a large creak and smashed into the ground. A group of concerned jellyfish tourists hardly saw it coming, and within seconds were squashed flat.

Moments later, they slid out from underneath, flat as paper, but continued on their way as a gust of wind carried them off.

In the middle of everything, the Inkopolis Plaza suffered from pandemonium. Not only was the Booyah Base's refined glass panes shattered and scattered around the plaza, ("I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD'VE BOUGHT THE PREMIUM!" Moe the clownfish had screamed for the world to hear as Annie cowered underneath his wrath) several Inklings had hit the deck. While a sort of invisible barrier of repellant seemed to have emanated from Spyke's corner, every squid and jellyfish present crammed themselves into the safest spots they could find.

Of course, while the majority of them looked pretty stupid crouched behind benches and inside trash cans, our heroes...er…

They looked pretty stupid too, to be honest.

"Hey! This was the best we got!" Sharq spoke up…

...From behind one of Inkopolis Plaza's large black speakers.

As another short tremor shook underneath them, Splin, Sharq, and Maria clung to the speaker carefully. The music was not blaring directly into their eardrums, but at least they could rest assured knowing that the earth quaking below them could substitute the effect of shakiness.

After several tense, nerve-wracking minutes, the tectonic plates seemed to have taken a break. Everyone flopped down on the ground with a relieved sigh. A few of those who did yelp out and immediately removed the glass shards they landed on from their faces with grumpy expressions.

"...Ouch." Splin muttered as he noticed one Inkling pluck them individually from her set of tentacles.

She shook her tentacles around and smoothed them. With a happy sigh, she walked off as her cuts began to heal. He glanced behind him. Maria and Sharq gave him a thumbs-up and a reassuring smile.

Splin sighed as his brother began to follow him out of cover. "...Alright."

As the two brothers began to walk out from underneath the bright green tower, the ground began to shake once more, much to their...or, much more, Splin's distress. They toppled over each other and fell onto the floor with a groan.

Above them, the Great Zapfish coiled around the top of the Inkopolis Tower shook with the ground. It attempted to constrict its steel perch tighter and promptly slipped off, the humongous fish dropped down towards the base of the tower.

The brothers attempted to stabilize themselves as the ground quaked underneath them. Then they glanced up. "Gyah!"

The both of them gawked in terror as the Great Zapfish flailed down towards them as the electricity it generated began to flash and spark on its smooth surface. The brothers gripped and braced other tightly and shut their eyes tighter. It was not a very graceful way to die, but at least both of them would be ready for their untimely demise under the belly of a giant fish.

At least, that seemed to be the case for a few seconds. Moments passed, and yet the feeling of a slimy but ultimately destructive force of an electric tailfin had yet to strike. They cracked an eye open and glanced up. The Great Zapfish blinked as it laid a few feet off the ground, suspended in the air. So it seemed, until they heard a distinct grunting noise. Underneath the shadow of the fish, Maria hefted the Great Zapfish over her head. Her eyes glowed and her arms shook underneath the weight of the fish. The brothers hoped it was some sort of super-strength and not the fact that there was quite possibly a current of electricity running through every other vein in her body.

Despite this, she grunted, spun around towards the tower, and threw with all her might. Instead of crushing Maria underneath it the Zapfish began spiraling back up towards the tower. As it reached the familiar green steel it wrapped itself back around in a coil around the tower and its whiskers sparked as if it thanked Maria. The ground appeared to have calmed down considerably, but Maria was hardly one to take chances.

She dropped down next to the two brothers and shouted, "You two okay?!"

Splin looked as though he were about to have a panic attack, and Maria wondered whether or not she should carry him off. He simply stammered, "W-We're fine!"

She nodded and pulled the two up. Before they could say anything, Maria shoved the two off and away, "Good!" She called out, "Get somewhere safe! This is worse than last time!"

With that said, she had run off. The city was not under siege by any murderous machine or any supervillain on a rampage. The sinking feeling in her chest and the memories in her head confirmed it. She pressed on to assist the citizens of Inkopolis and tried to save them from her own mistake. Her lovely, beautiful, destructive mistake.

* * *

Maria was so in tune with her nostalgia that-

"Mmph!" Went the green squid as she collided with a pile of scrap as she dropped from the sky.

She sunk into the debris almost instantaneously.

* * *

As she laid in the pile of discarded metal, she traced her mind back days prior. She gazed out the window at the sky. Watching. Waiting. She sat on one of the seats next to the kitchen counter and stared at the sky. Her eyes were bloodshot, the white sclera run ragged with small cracks of light green. She blinked tiredly and forced her eyelids back open.

The sky was blue. Too blue for her liking.

As she stared hopelessly out of the window, a trophy, a box, and an alarm clock watched two blue squids play a video game. Splin and Sharq were glued to the screen as they hammered buttons on their controllers. Sharq made a habit to tap the screen of his Gamepad controller just as rapidly. It did not seem to increase the speed of his characters' strikes or power up any attacks, but he seemed pumped up.

This continued for quite a while. Then, all of a sudden, the action on the screen ceased. The pause screen came up, much to Splin's surprise.

"Hey, no Jo-" He protested.

Sharq stared behind him towards the kitchen. Maria continued to stare out the window at the cloud formations. He pursed his lips and glanced at his younger brother.

"...She's still looking outside?" Splin whispered and stowed his controller away.

"...Yeah." Sharq muttered as he laid his controller down, "Should I... Um... Check on her?

As he said that, the objects behind them shivered and shook. In the distance, a distinct rattle and the squawk of a seagull sounded off. Even the wind outside rustled the grass and the house doors.

Ann-Gel inhaled sharply through her plastic Inkling teeth. "I wouldn't…"

"Guys!" Sharq scowled at them and stood up, "We can't just let her stay like that!"

The alarm clock and the Tele-Cube swiveled their screens to one another. Ann-Gel rubbed the back of her smooth orange tentacles. "I guess you can try, Sharq."

Sharq smiled at the smaller objects. "Alright!"

He grinned and went off on his merry way. As soon as he turned his back, suddenly the three small objects gathered in a small circle and began to whisper to each other. They would glance over at Sharq as he walked and made chimes and beeps. Well, the others did while Ann-Gel deciphered their cryptic electronic fuzz and responded with real...er, Inkling words.

Splin just rolled his eyes and set down his own controller carefully on the wooden floor. "C'mon guys. Maria isn't just going to belt him over the head just because he wants to know what's happening."

The trio of "under-normal-circumstances-we-should-not-be-alive" stared back at him. As they did, they heard a thump in the background, followed by Sharq's yelp.

Splin turned around quickly and his eyes widened at what he saw. "Maria!"

She was slumped over Sharq's back. Poor Sharq struggled underneath her and attempted to lift the both of them off of the floor. Her eyes fluttered listlessly. Splin quickly dashed over, past Maria's bed and lowered himself underneath her next to his brother. The two of them managed to keep themselves afoot as they tried to carry her.

"What's wrong?!" Sharq grunted as he shakily held her up. "Maria, calm down! You're okay!"

Maria's body disagreed. Through ragged gasps, she managed to choke out "I'm scared," before she fell back on them.

"Gah!" The two brothers yelped as she slumped down on them.

Her eyes were closed and Maria was unmoving as she laid on the both of them. The grunted, and with a simultaneous effort, the two attempted to traverse towards the other side of the room where her bed laid. The others watched curiously as they loaded her onto the mattress. Her breath felt cold as she sighed in her unconsciousness.

"...Nngh! She's so heavy…" Splin spoke through grit teeth.

Sharq shot a glare at his younger brother as they held Maria up. "Splin..."

"What!?" He protested, "I'm sorry, but it's true!"

With a final heave, the two placed her on the bed. They cringed at the sight. Maria laid face-down on her pillow with her arms and tentacles strewed about the bed. Despite her less than graceful position, she hardly seemed to mind.

"What even WAS that?" Splin asked as they stared at her.

Sharq shrugged as sweat dripped down under his cap over his face. "I don't know. But I have a bad feeling right now."

Ann-Gel's eyes narrowed. "...Ominous."

* * *

Her eyes opened. Maria covered her face with the right tentacle that extended from her forehead and kicked. The pile of scrap clattered against the dirt and the pavement as Maria rose from the debris and gasped for breath. She felt sweat drip down the side of her ear. She emerged from the pile and took a step out into the dirt then looked around.

She was in some sort of industrial junkyard. A large fence coiling around the rectangle perimeter was boxing in the garbage, which seemed to be several pieces of glass and other manmade materials. As Maria glanced at a pile of glass, she felt two things.

One, relief that she did not land in that, and two, relief, but in finding out that Inkopolis did know how to clean up after a disaster event, and well too.

Despite the rusty, dirty materials that surrounded her, off in the distance several signs of Inkopolis flashed bright neon colors. She gulped and continued to look amidst the piles of trash for the sign of anything that glowed.

Maria found it. A burst of bright light emanated from the cracks of fragments of asphalt piled on a corner of the fence. Without hesitation, she sprinted towards the pile and dug through it.

"Where is it, where is it!?" Maria cursed to herself as she flung piece after piece of ruined pavement to the side.

Suddenly, a jagged edge of rock caught her palm. A miniature nick appeared in her hand. It was but a minuscule spot, but through the light of a street lamp, a drop of lime emerged. The light underneath the pile began to fade.

"Ah, dammit!" She screamed and gripped a piece of metal strewn to the side. She hurled it at the pile and knocked over several other materials. "Stupid cube!"

She clutched her head with her hands. Her breathing began to speed up; she gasped second by second. Then she heard a whirring noise.

From the junk, a multi-colored box flashed as it popped out. Several fragments of debris were knocked to the side. One of the cube's sides turned towards Maria. An angry face was drawn on its face, it beeped at Maria just as irritably as its face would convey.

She gasped, folded her hands, and rubbed her tentacles. They were messy, but regardless Maria gave a warm smile. "Oh, there you are. Sorry...I got frustrated."

The Tele-Cube glowered at her. Despite the dark of night and the angry face, the Tele-Cube could hardly remain threatening. A lengthy whistle, similar to a sigh, emanated from the cube. Its pitch lowered as it went. Maria waited patiently. Suddenly, a question mark popped up on the Tele-Cube's screen.

"Oh…" She cleared her throat and crossed her arms behind her back, "You were able to take the brothers and me to... Universe Seven... My world," She gestured to herself; the cube just stared, "Before, right?"

A click sounded off. The Tele-Cube nodded slowly.

Maria sighed, then inhaled through her mouth. "I need you to take me back. Right now."

Something happened that Maria did not expect. The question mark shrunk into the background of the cube's screen. Animated drops of sweat began to drip down the inside of its screens. The cube rotated around nervously as the drops dripped. It made a chirping sound.

Maria's ears twitched. She pursed her lips, and while somewhat surprised, responded, "What do you mean, 'I can't let you do that Maria'?"

The cube twitched violently. Maria stepped back in fears that it would explode. Instead, it extended. The top of the cube grew long into the air and the cube had grown into a full-fledged vertical rectangle. Then the words came.

A large list flooded the screen. The header at the very top of the list read, "Plot Convenience Object Guidelines", and several sub-headers filled the screen below. Maria skimmed through the list, her eyes narrowing.

As if it could sense Maria's confusion, the Tele-Rectangle-

Oh geez, that's a mouthful.

The Tele-Tangle shrunk back into its compact cube form. It spun about a bit as it shrunk until it hovered in front of Maria in its familiar shape and form. The Tele-Cube beeped and booped and made many other high pitched electronic sounds.

Somehow, Maria understood the cube. She held her hands to her chest and cooed, "Aw, that's really sweet of you… But this is urgent. Come on, please?"

The Tele-Cube made its sigh noise again. The cube swiveled to and fro and pointed the screen Maria assumed was its face in several different directions almost cautiously. Maybe there was some sort of outside force she did not know of.

Then, it sparked. Maria squeaked in fright, then embarrassedly folded her arms as the cube scolded her with a harsh beep. Then the cube sparked again. Like a flash of lightning, it seemed to signal the upcoming storm and sparked once more. Then it began to spin.

"Tele-Cube?" She gulped shyly as it continued to spin, "...I'm sorry we- I... Threw you out."

The cube seemed to hesitate. It ceased its rotation then turned to Maria as she stood firm in front of it. The box nodded back at her. Electricity collected around the cube as it spun again, faster and faster as each moment passed. The nearby lights flickered and flashed. Eventually, a spiral formation formed in front of Maria. It expanded and grew, until it became a sizable portal.

The Tele-Cube stopped spinning. As it came to a stop, it chirped at Maria as the portal screamed back at them with the sound of the wind as it blew threw towards the vortex.

Maria smiled. "I'll take you home after this. Don't woomy-"

She covered her mouth and her eyes grew. Then, she snorted. She began to giggle in front of the portal. The Tele-Cube tilted itself. If it had a neck, it would have looked curious.

"I mean, don't worry." She spoke up.

She turned back towards the portal. Her smile began to fade. That was only if she could come back. With a silent gulp, she stepped towards the portal as it billowed bright and dangerously unpredictable in front of them. The Tele-Cube floated in as Maria walked through.

She was about halfway inside of the portal when she halted suddenly. "Uh, hang on."

The cube made irritated squeaks and squawks as if to say, "Dude, this thing isn't something I can hold for long."

Maria smiled sheepishly. "Uh, before we go, can you do one last thing?"

The Tele-Cube stared at her curiously. She pursed her lips. and leaned in cautiously to where she thought the Tele-Cube's ears might be. She whispered as one hand covered the side of her mouth. The rainbow box chirped with a nod. While the portal spun around them, the cube made a noise similar to a printer.

A slot opened out of the Tele-Cube's face. Out popped out a plain white sheet of paper and a pen. Maria quickly grabbed the two and smiled. "Thank you."

While the portal raged on behind her, Maria leaned down to the ground and began to write. Yet again, she finished the note within a few seconds. Underneath the note, she quickly signed her name, bright and bold. She dropped the pen, held the paper in the both of her hands, and smiled down at it sadly. Maria laid it on the ground, took a broken rod from a nearby pile, then struck the paper and the ground between it. As the wind whistled around it, the paper remained stuck to the ground.

"Perfect. If they find it," Maria spoke up and stood. She admired her handiwork for a while, then turned back. "Okay."

The two advanced through the portal.

* * *

Splin and Sharq walked around the city. The morning sun had just peaked over the horizon, and Inkopolis was just waking up. The neon signs were shut off. Apartment buildings were quite quiet aside from the occasional snores from the bottom floor. The only other creatures awake and alive aside from the Bate Brothers seemed to be the Great Zapfish, a few jellyfish passerby, and a shrimp that jogged around the sidewalk.

"Hi, Crusty Sean!" Sharq waved as he and his brother passed by.

Underneath his purple beanie, the large shrimp just waved back with one of his claws. He continued to jog ahead as sweat dripped down his orange whiskers.

Splin yawned and continued to walk forward. "Sharq, couldn't we have looked for Maria when it was at least seven?"

"Nope!" Sharq grinned back at his younger brother as he pulled him along the sidewalk. Splin stumbled over cracks in the cement as he struggled to keep his eyes open. "What type of friends would that make us?"

He could hardly complain and just fidgeted with his headphones as they dangled around his neck. "Fine. Can you at least tell us where we're going?"

Sharq pointed ahead. "I saw a flash of light over there as I was getting a midnight snack!"

"'Midnight'?" Splin muttered with one eyebrow cocked. "More like 'early morning'. Besides, do you really think Maria would walk into this side of town?"

There were not many buildings around the further the brothers ventured. The ones that were looked like abandoned factories. At least, most of them looked like them. Quite a few had names like, "Porpoise Pane Treatment Plant" or "Barracuda's Brick Builders". Splin wondered if they worked harder on alliteration and logos rather than actual work, because the majority of the factories laid dormant.

Eventually, the two brothers walked across a junkyard. Sharq's eyes widened. "Whoa."

The middle of the junkyard was mostly clear. It was the garbage around it that was interesting. Arranged in a spiral pattern, fragments of shrapnel and other heaps of scrap laid disturbed. Without warning, Sharq began to dash towards them.

"Sharq, no, not again!" Splin called out, "Agh!"

He chased his older brother as he began to climb over one condensed wall of rusted materials. Sharq hopped over the other side and slid down and Splin followed. As Splin slid down to the other side, he raised his finger with some choice words in mind for him.

"Look!" Sharq pointed out suddenly.

Splin looked. He gasped. In the middle of the clear spot nearly devoid of trash, a cube smoked and jittered weakly. The Tele-Cube, a majority of its screens either cracked or black and shut down, laid on the ground. Sharq immediately ran up and scooped it into his arms.

"You okay?" He asked cautiously.

The cube beeped weakly as it faced Sharq. Out of the blue, a battery symbol blinked onto the screen. A line ran through it. The cube blinked out and fizzled. Sharq gulped, pat the top of the cube, then stowed it away in his pockets.

Splin, on the other hand, was intrigued. Next, to where the cube laid, by a square-shaped crater, a note laid stamped to the ground with a pike was found.

"Sharq…" He motioned for his brother to look.

The older brother looked over his shoulder. Splin carefully removed the piece of paper from the fragment of pole and stared down.

 _I'll be gone for a little while. I have to check on my other kids. I'm sorry, I can't say much. I'm in a hurry. If Tele-Cube's with you, then he should probably tell you what's happened. If we've come back._

Sharq eyed the cube as it poked out of his pockets. The smoke had faded.

They continued reading.

 _I can't thank you enough. You stood by me. You helped me remember. You two gave me another chance at life. Thank you. I don't know if I can ever return the favor. I'm sorry… But I hope we'll see each other again soon._

 _-Maria._

The brothers stared down at the note. Sharq felt his eyes grow wet. Splin's expression hardened. As they stood there and glared at the note, they almost missed the sky. A sound echoed through the air. The brothers turned around and stared at the sky.

It was daytime, though the sun had yet to fully encircle the earth and shroud it in life. They were somewhat glad they got up early this morning. Had they been any later, they might not have noticed the green streak that flashed as it traveled across the sky.

* * *

AN: Thanks Dread Angel for allowing me to use Maria in this story. This chapter was a long time coming, and I apologize for the wait. Also, thanks to Dread Angel for the vital details and story needed to finish this chapter.

Also, thank you Rynowm and write n wrong for reviewing!

Rynowm, I scream for your puns, they're just so sweet, if you catch my cold. Thanks for the review.

write n wrong, I agree, if there was any sense of law enforcement or security in this story, which I will get to soon in another chapter, by the way, the brothers or anyone else would probably not get anywhere.

But anyways, thank you for reading. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you.


	61. Stagnation Vacation

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Stagnation Vacation: Agent 3's Remorse**

Metal and ink. Rocks and tentacles. Gunshots. The crackle of static in her ears and the occasional friendly warnings that chimed in through her headset.

To top it all off, she wore a wondrous smile on her face as she spun about. Ink bullets bounced around and nearly doused her in violet goop that would most likely corrode her carefree grin right off. The Inkling did not care, though. This was Agent 3's zone, her world, the one place where she really shined.

She hummed and bobbed along as her tentacles dangled from the wind. Her neon green hero clothes, from her headset down to her sneakers glowed despite the splotches of fuchsia ink that stuck to them. In her hands, a large black Hero Charger glowed blue despite the light of day. The long barrel dropped small drips of her reddish pink ink ever so often as she sprinted along through the warzone.

Around her, the world practically melted itself in a pot of chaos. Random gunshots and bursts of ink fired across the metal platform she walked across, all in violet or fuchsia. She zipped and dodged from side to side across the metal, whether she skidded across the platform with her boots or spiraled out of the incoming ink bullet, nothing seemed to touch her. With dainty jumps over puddles of fuchsia, she fired back now in then with her weapon and her streams of retaliation coated the battlefield in cherry.

She battled atop a floating chunk of land. A metallic floor covered the top and provided her with a suitable battleground. Other floating land masses surrounding in the air were dripping ink. Considering the red color of the fluids, it was probably not a stretch to say that her handiwork had been employed. A few wooden crates served as small barricades from the constant barrage of ink, thought it hardly seemed like they were necessary.

Agent 3 danced back and forth among the sight of several Octarians. Octotroopers sat on top of large cylindrical platforms took notice of the little lady with reddish pink tentacles that drooped down from her head and swiveled their platforms towards her with an astonished yelp. They narrowed their eyes and glared down the laser sights, but found that she was nowhere to be found. All they could see on top of the large metallic platform was a trail of ink.

They gasped in realization. Before they could make a move, they heard a yelp and instinctively swerved their small vehicles in that direction. One of them in their troop exploded in a burst of cherry ink and the goop splattered across the floor. Instinctively they spun and aimed at the puddle where their companion once stood. Another explosion. They swiveled around and aimed. Yet another one of their companions was reduced to a puddle on the metal floor. The cycle continued with the rest of them as a hidden reddish pink tornado blew through and decimated them instantaneously.

This continued until there was one. One Octarian sat in the midst of a drenched war-zone. The lonely Octotrooper shivered and shook nervously. Staring down at the ink swiveling its weapon nervously searching for their opponent. No sign of her appeared. For a while, the battlefield was silent, aside from the whir of its vehicle.

After a few seconds, the blaster built in its platform whirred and settled down. The Octotrooper sighed in relief and laid back on its machine control panel.

"Hi." Agent 3 smiled as she emerged from the ink in front of him.

The Octotrooper yelped one last time before it was blasted into submission. More realistically however, he ended up run across the floor. Agent 3 sighed contently and blew at the top of the barrel of her Hero Splat Charger.

Just then, a buzz sounded off in her ear. She reached up to her triangular Hero Headset and clicked the side with her fingers. "All clear guys! The Zapfish is just up ahead!"

She attempted to run ahead. Another voice called out to her. "...Three."

Agent 3 paused and reached at her headset again. "Um...Pardon?"

"Three." The voice called out again in a whisper. "...Three!"

The ink that stained the ground behind her rumbled. Agent 3 grunted, fell to the ground and stared at the ink in horror. A hand emerged from the ink stained in fuchsia and pink and reached towards her. She was frozen in place as the limb extended from the ink. Agent 3 attempted to reach for her Splat Charger but fumbled at it uselessly as if she was paralyzed.

She continued to lay on the ground helplessly. Her heartbeat quickened as a face emerged from the ink. It materialized into black tentacles, a flat hat, and...wait.

* * *

Callie screamed, "Three! Thr- Lalai! Wake up!" at the top of her lungs.

Lalai woke up with a start. She scrambled off of her counter with a push and launched herself out of her chair. She kicked her swivel chair to the side where it bounced off of the wall and reached under the receptionist desk. She gripped a Splatterscope hidden underneath and aimed towards the nearest entity and glared through the scope.

She stared through the clear scope, her trigger finger itchy. On the other side, Callie waved her white-gloved hands with a yelp and shouted, "Don't shoot! Don't shoot!"

Lalai instantly dropped her weapon. She nearly fell face down on the table. With a flustered face, she adjusted her small red bow-tie on her black and white uniform and asked, "Oh no. I'm so sorry Callie, I just must've dozed off-" She then squeaked in horror, "I-I'm sorry for dozing off!"

Callie stared at her from across the desk. The inside of the Squid Sisters' studio was coated in a psychedelic violet and green pattern, with bubble of ink and arrows painted on the walls. Out of the glass panes on the other side, one could see a train track built into the ground but a block across. One such train on the tracks sped by as excited passengers stared in and attempted to snap pictures as they zoomed past.

Suddenly, Callie snorted. She smiled back at Lalai. "It's fine! I mean, I doze off during break sometimes anyways."

Lalai bit her lip. The train had passed by, but she could still hear as it chugged around the perimeter of the plaza. She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly and said, "Callie...with all due respect, I don't think either of us should really be doing that."

The Squid Sister in pink placed her hands on her hips. "Hey, it's totally fine! I'm just trying to cheer you up here!"

"...Thanks." Lalai sighed and laid her head down on the counter.

Callie blinked and stared down at her. "...Lalai, are you still down about that?"

"...Mm." She murmured and turned away, "I'm thankful that you two landed me a job and all…"

She gestured to her tidy uniform. Lalai then waved her hands towards her desk, then the walls and the glass windows, each and every material seemingly polished and cleaned to a fine shine. Almost like a conductor, she gracefully ended back at her desk, palms flat down on the glossy surface.

"...You want to become a musician?" Callie asked with a tilt of her head while her black tentacles swiveled over the floor.

The receptionist scowled and shook her head. "No, I was just making a statement. It was nice of you two to hire me, but I just…" Lalai sighed and set her head down on the desk again. "It just isn't as...action packed."

Callie's golden irises lit up and the small crossed pupils in her eyes spun. "Oh," She clicked her tongue as she walked over to the counter and laid her arm across the side, "I'm sorry, 3."

"...It's fine." She murmured and crossed her arms. The white sleeves that poked out of the black fabric almost glowed in the sunlight. "What's passed has passed. ...I just kinda wish we could go back to the old days."

Callie suppressed a snort. "The old days? Lalai, they were sorta fun, but-"

"I know, I know." Lalai raised her hands over her ears. "There's a truce. I'm not going to start another Great Turf War just because I'm bored."

The pop star giggled at the statement. "'Agent 3 Back On A Rampage!' The news will be blaring that across the city!"

From behind the counter, Agent 3 smirked. "If that did happen, would you cover for me?"

"I'd...try my best?" Callie's brow furrowed in confusion.

"I'm kidding," Lalai responded with a dismissive wave of her hand, "I'd never do that."

The Squid Sister managed a miniature smile. "...I-I knew you were."

Her receptionist smiled back with an even smaller smile. They stayed in a sort of smile standoff for about a minute. Then a whistle blew through the studio. Callie's ears perked up and she directed her attention towards a door by the desk. The door was cracked open just a bit, through the thin crack one could see a staircase lead upstairs.

"Welp," Callie cleared her throat and started for the door, "Looks like my break is over. You're going to be okay, right Lalai?"

Lalai nodded back at her happily. "Sure!"

Callie smiled and walked through. She opened the door and hopped up the stairs and left the entrance wide open behind her. As soon as she was out of sight, Lalai immediately planted her face on the desk again with a thunk.

"Urgh." She moaned into the wooden surface.

Even though it stung when she bashed her head into solid wood like a maniac, the intense sense of boredom was overpowering the head trauma. Each second that ticked by was a constant reminder that Lalai could have been anywhere else other than a desk.

Groggily, she lifted her head and cocked her triangular ears up towards the wall behind her. The clock continued to count by the seconds as slowly as she could have thought possible. Maybe it was her impatience, or maybe it was a longing for action. Either way, each tick and each tock felt like torture as it ran through her head.

Suddenly, after what felt like an eternity, a thought ran through her head. _"...Break...how long is my break?"_

Gingerly, she swiveled around at the wall behind her. The wall was decorated with the studio's pink and green, with arrow insignias and splotches of ink. A medal locked in a frame hung over her head. Over that, the clock that tormented her for the past two minutes continued to tick past.

" _12:00."_ As she inspected the clock her eyes narrowed, _"My lunch break is an hour long…"_

Lalai bit her lip and glanced out the glass panes. The front lobby and the outside of the studio was completely empty.

" _I...suppose it wouldn't hurt."_ Lalai thought to herself as she reached under her desk.

She fumbled underneath the desk. Eventually, she grabbed hold of something thin. Pulling out a sheet of paper, she began lifting it up to the desk then planted it on the wooden surface, holding it down with her left elbow. Lalai then returned underneath the table and returned with a small ballpoint pen. Her pink tongue stuck out a smidge as she uncapped the pen and began to write.

She stood back after scribbling and inspected her handiwork. _Hey guys! Sorry I'm not here, I went to get lunch at my sister's place!_

"Perfect." Lalai smiled and picked up her Splatterscope.

Her weapon slung over her back, Lalai dashed out from behind the receptionist's desk. She then turned to the clear glass doors and rushed through. She left the studio in the dust and the doors swinging aimlessly as she ran.

* * *

Lalai stepped into Inkopolis Plaza somewhat hesitantly. There was definitely something afoot. The plaza was beaming with a newfound excitement. Among the Booyah Base's shop entrances and the several benches strung about the plaza there was a buzz of attention.

She glanced down at herself. Her Splatterscope was strung to her back in a large bag like it was a guitar. Although she could have probably just picked it up out of hammer-space like every other Inkling in the game, Lalai found comfort in having a weapon with her. She tapped on the asphalt with her Blue Moto Boots. Her White Headband and Aloha Shirt had her sigh in relief; the air flowed through much smoother than her stuffier receptionist uniform.

With a prolonged look at the rest of the Inklings and jellyfish bumbling about, she finally gave a sigh and began walking through the crowd gathered around. A majority of the squid teenagers assembled around the plaza would make cursory glances and excited expressions down at their squid shaped smartphones.

" _...Huh."_ Lalai hummed as she walked past everyone else.

She caught a glimpse of a smartphone screen. On the screen, a quad squad of Inklings in green rose from the ink.

Before she could make a remark, a sound invaded the plaza and startled her. She backed away into the center of the plaza. Above her, the Squid Sisters screen fizzled and buzzed as the broadcast began.

Immediately she gritted her teeth and lightly smacked herself on the forehead. "Calm down. No one's going to know."

"Know what?"

Lalai spun around and removed the bag that encased her weapon and aimed. ...With the container. A yelp emerged from behind her, but ceased as soon as the victim realized that a bag being lethal was unheard of.

"Calm down!" The voice called out in protest. "Geez, I just wanted to check on you."

Lalai blinked and holstered the bag from behind her back. A few other Inklings glanced over at the scene curiously. "Um, sorry…"

Just then, the other Inkling she had nearly "blasted to oblivion" with her bag with froze. Brown eyes blinked in confusion. "Hey wait, aren't you the...sorry, the receptionist at the-"

"Shh!" She hushed him instantly.

"...Alright, fine." He muttered and arched his eyebrow. "...Then I guess reintroductions are out of the question?"

Lalai froze. The crowd around them simply shrugged a shoulder and turned a blind eye, going back to their business, but she could not help but flusteredly turn her face. "No, no...I'm sorry…?"

"Splin Bate." He spoke up and offered his hand out.

"...Lalai Wa'hii." Lalai spoke and shook his hand quickly.

In front of her, the blue male Inkling adjusted his Designer Headphones around his head. Splin blinked back at her somewhat suspiciously. "...Hm. You're alright, right?"

"Of course." She huffed and patted her weapon case. "Why?"

Splin grunted and brushed himself off. "Well, for one, you were glancing around like you expected to get assassinated. Two, you were talking to yourself."

"...Uh, so?" She muttered to herself and crossed her legs. "Is that so wrong?"

He crossed his arms and tilted his head at her. Splin's brown eyes shimmered dangerously. "Probably...I would know."

Just then, a rather loud gust of wind blew by. Lalai's Aloha Shirt rustled from the gust and she shivered from the sudden chill.

Splin frowned and glanced up at the sky. "Yeah, look who's talking voice."

Now it was Lalai's turn to stare. Her lips curled downwards into a frown. "...Uh huh...so...where are you headed?"

He grimaced and turned to the tower. On top of Inkopolis Tower, the Great Zapfish curled up into a ball by the observation deck on the top. "My brother wanted me to play him."

"Ah." Lalai murmured in understanding.

"Judging by your apparel," Splin spoke up and shot an inspecting gaze at her, "You're headed to the tower too, right?"

Lalai bit her lip. She stared straight forward through the plaza and the people crowded around down at the green building that stood tall above them all. She frowned and slowly but surely turned her attention to a familiar manhole. Next to a blue vending machine between the tower and the Squid Sisters' Studio, the manhole laid dormant. If she stared long enough at the metal surface, she could swear she could see white whiskers and beady yellow eyes.

When she blinked, they vanished. Nothing remained but a simply manhole. A feeling of remorse began to fill her, not to mention several emotional liters of dread.

"...Is that a yes or a no? ...Lalai?"

Lalai shook her head and shouted, "No thanks! I'll just stick here for a bit."

Splin shrugged and turned around. He began to walk towards the tower but not before saying, "Alright, sorry to bother you."

"Uh- Okay." She muttered awkwardly as she rubbed her head tentacles sheepishly.

She watched as Splin ran up towards the entrance of the tower. She watched him enter the main lobby through the automatic door which swiveled open for him and promptly shut behind him. Her stare was instantly redirected towards the manhole as the doors closed. Cherry red sweat dripped down underneath her short, equally red tentacles.

In fact, if one did not know better, it would look as if she were bleeding from her head. Wooo, spooky?

Regardless of how terrifying she might look while sweating, she herself felt a tinge of fear. As the Squid Sisters started waving out to the crowd from the large television screen announcing stage rotations and other substandard gossip, something within her head flashed. An image of the clock with its incessant ticks and tocks reappeared. Lalai bit her lip and gazed directly towards the manhole cover.

 _"It's now or never."_ A thought ran through her head as she glowered at the inanimate object flat on the floor.

As the hubbub and conversation continued around her, she made her way through the crowd. With about the grace and subtlety of a whale shark, she dashed over to the manhole, took one step, then kicked the cover off. Yet again, the group of squids and jellies clustered about ceased their conversation and turned their gazes towards her, clearly annoyed that they were interrupted yet again.

A few of them were genuinely surprised at what happened next. Without a word, she dove Inkling head first into the pipe, the manhole cover flipped back on behind her. The plaza population stared on in awe. The manhole eventually settled in place.

Judd yawned, and the onlookers stared on. Then returned right back to their social media.

* * *

Agent 3 stood up on the soft ground on the other side in Octo Valley. Her attire had shifted; she no longer wore the simple, inconspicuous Turf War battle clothing. Upon leaving the manhole, she now donned her Hero Suit, with her triangular Hero Headset, Hero Jacket, Hero Runners and not to mention her Hero Brand Charger™, buy an amiibo and get one today.

She held the gun's slender black and green barrel aloft. She sighed and took a cursory glance around. Everything was silent. At her right just across from the entrance and exit to the rock formation lying in the shade of his rusted old shack, Cap'n Cuttlefish snored without a care in the world, his arm dangled down from the couch and his cap tilted over his eyes. On top of the worn blue couch he slept on, several crumbs laid scattered about on the fabric.

Lalai could not help but smile at the old man. "Morning Cap," She whispered softly with her fond smile.

Lalai pressed on past the snoozing old Inkling with crumbs in his beard. She passed by concrete and kettles that laid dormant. They had been quiet ever since she had come through here.

She bit her lip and gazed at each kettle longingly. Squid stickers were plastered to a few of the metallic silver surfaces. Each sticker seemed made Lalai feel nostalgic and somewhat sad.

 _"...I'll never be able to fight again like the first time."_ She reminded herself mentally.

Agent 3 sighed and continued forward. Each step on the hollow steel floor and the echo and reverb that continued to sound throughout the air accordingly depressed her. She looked around, to and fro. Every single kettle entrance she spotted was covered in the colorful stickers.

Suddenly, she shook her head. _"What the shell am I doing? There's no point in being here."_

Lalai sighed and glowered at the ground. She turned and kicked at one of the kettles in irritation. As her Runners vibrated from the blow, she scoffed. Not at the kettles, nor at the Octarians, but straight down at herself. Stuffing her hands in her shorts' pockets, she went on walking back towards the shack.

Until a noise caught her attention. The sound of steam whistling caused her ears to start prickling up in curiosity. Her fingers impatiently gripped the trigger and body of her Hero Charger.

Letting her ears lead her, she began walking. Ahead of her, a peculiar device laid on the very end of the platform. A black sphere laid on the edge of the metal platform. Without hesitation, Lalai took aim and blasted the orb.

As soon as it was struck with the reddish pink fire, it grew. A line beamed out of the now pink orb and stretched across the chasm below. The line stretched until it reached another large platform mass.

The string of ink appeared to defy gravity as it hung straight over the canyon bottom. Lalai switched into a cherry squid and dropped herself into the orb of ink. She was submerged immediately; Lalai continued on and swam up the line as the sound of steam continued its whistle. After a few minutes of traveling through the ink stream, she hopped out of the line up into the air above the other platform. She reverted to Inkling form midair then dropped from the sky.

Landing on her feet with a clang, she glared ahead curiously. Across several small trees planted by the edge of the floating chunk of ground she stood on she could hear the kettle noise clearly. A large, deteriorated building blocked her view, but the whistle was unmistakable.

There was still an active kettle somewhere, and she was certain of it.

Lalai's grip on her weapon tightened. She began to walk over around the perimeter.

"...I'm just worried about them." A voice suddenly echoed throughout the air, "The two of them have been gone for a while…"

She froze instantaneously. Lalai shivered, one foot still in the space above the ground.

"I'm sure they're fine. This is Tai and Auss we're talking about." Another voice chimed in.

From behind the ruined building, the sound of footsteps on dried cement tapped ever closer. An added sound accompanied it, something like a helicopter made a noise like blades as they chopped through the air.

" _Ship!"_ Lalai's eyes widened in shock.

Her first instinct was to take aim, but as she did so, the sound of the helicopter blades became increasingly louder and louder. Fearing the worst, she dive towards the nearest thin tree and switched into a small squid. As if she were nervous that they brought the largest assault vehicle of the skies as if expecting her, she poked her head out cautiously, expecting the worse-

"...I know." She heard the other female sigh, "But I'm also kinda worried about your propeller, Jerry. It's been making that noise for a day now." The feminine voice remarked with a frown.

Lalai pursed her...squid lips and stared at the strange duo that walked out from behind the decayed structure. An Octoling walked out, her hands folded behind her back. For whatever reason, her Octoling Goggles were only covering half of her face. Her eyebrows and top half of her eyes were obscured but her blue irises and her mouth folded in an upset expression were exposed.

Next to her, Lalai noticed another Octarian force that stood, or rather hovered adjacent to her. Jerry the Octocopter seemed to shrug with his...no shoulders. "Yeah, ever since the Skell was let free to roam, it's been kinda hard to keep this thing-" He pointed as best as he could with his tail to his propeller which kept him aloft, "Keep it in one piece with that thing in the loose."

"Really? I think it's fine." The Octoling remarked.

"That's only because you don't share an airspace with it, Chi." Jerry grumbled in indignation, as his head propellers spun faster, "Still don't see why we need a defense mech anyways, no one visits anymore."

"I'll say." Chi bit her lip and glanced around, "...Though isn't that a good thing? That just means the Inklings are sticking to the truce."

Lalai's...squid face lit up from behind the tree in surprise. She morphed back into an Inkling and holstered her weapon behind her back. She continued to watch curiously as they walked around aimlessly in the crisp air.

"Gives us the freedom to fly around," Jerry emphasized with another spin of his propellers, which sounded like a lawnmower at this point, "Though not much."

"I guess we should count our blessings…" Chi sighed to herself as she glanced up at the sky. "At least we don't have to deal with any agents. Thank Splin and Sharq for that."

" _Splin?"_ Lalai wondered to herself. _"...No way."_

With a frown, Jerry swiveled back at the other Octoling. "You were never here for that!"

"...Er…" The Octoling's cheeks flushed in a bluish violet. "Right, not for the whole agent thing, but...it's nice. It's nice not cowering."

A tinge of guilt bit back at Agent 3. She furrowed her brow and stayed silent as they continued to walk- And hover about.

"Splin and Sharq...I guess not all Inklings are too bad." Chi admitted and looked up at the sky with a small, yet fond smile.

"I guess you could say Tai's got good taste in friends, huh?" Jerry spoke up with a playful nod.

"...Yeah." Chi rubbed her arm somewhat awkwardly.

Agent 3's mouth gaped open. As they continued on their walk and edged dangerously close to her own hiding spot, Lalai shrunk behind the tree as she heard them and sat still behind the trunk, eyes still wide. She bit her lip and looked up at the sky. The sun above them seemed to pass by the center of the blue canvas. With one last stare, she glanced at them as they began to round a corner by the ruined building.

She shivered, and eyed her Hero Charger. Lalai's eyes narrowed and her trigger finger twitched. After a moment of hesitation and as they rounded the building, she shook her head suddenly.

Quickly, she took off running with her Hero Charger strapped to her back and took off. Lalai was a blur as she ducked into the ink sphere and travelled the line down from the large platform without a moment to spare. Chi perked up at the sound of footsteps. She spun around in fright and glanced around.

"You alright?" Jerry asked as his propellers screamed above him.

She cringed and ducked underneath him. "...Yeah, thought I heard something."

Jerry huffed and crossed his- Again, NONEXISTENT ARMS. "I'll get it fixed soon!"

* * *

"Stay fresh!"

Callie and Marie posed, their gloved hands dangled as they stood poised in front of a camera crew aiming boom microphones and cameras, as standard. A beep noise permeated the multi-colored studio room from behind the filming devices.

"That's a wrap, good work again today ladies!" Someone called out from the other side of the set.

As the equipment began being stowed away, Callie dropped her pose. She stretched her back out with a sigh, "Whoo! Well, you know what they say, the eighty-thousandth time's always the hardest."

Next to her, Marie ceased her pose and arched an eyebrow at her cousin. "Who said that? The jellyfish?"

"Mm." She shrugged and walked off while a large shrimp packed away a camera in the background.

"Hey, where are you going?" Marie inquired, her round white eyebrow still raised.

"I wanted to check on 3- Er, Lalai." She admitted with a smile. "She's been kinda down recently. So I wanna see if she's cheered up yet!"

"Hm. Alright." Marie shrugged and readjusted her gloves until they fit on her fingers nice and snug.

She walked up to her bubbly cousin with a curt nod. Callie ran up towards a door in the back painted blue which stuck out like a sore thumb in a room full of bright pinks and greens. She opened the door and Marie followed; the duo descended down a flight of stairs quickly. They came across a door frame at the bottom after a while.

"After you!" Callie offered with a grin and pushed the door open.

"...Alright, whatever you say." Marie shrugged and walked on through.

As her cousin walked through into the lobby, Callie soon followed shortly after. She shut the door behind her and turned to the front. She blinked in surprise at the scene.

"...That's basically the gist of it." She heard someone say.

"Really?" Lalai hummed in delight as she sat at her desk, a discarded piece of paper crumpled on the side. "That sounded exciting. I wish I could've been there."

"Eh." A familiar Inkling in blue adjusted his headphones around his neck. "Honestly, it was terrifying and uncomfortable. I hope I never have to work with 'Agents' ever again."

Splin leaned on the other side of the desk as Lalai listened on with her face held between her hands. She had a small smile on her face whereas Splin looked as though retelling the events was somewhat strenuous. He leaned on the other side of the desk with one arm, the other stretched at his side.

Without warning, Callie came up to the desk and laid her right arm on it. "Who's your friend?"

Lalai turned in her swivel chair and waved. "Hello Callie."

She waved to her receptionist with a smile. Callie then turned towards Splin. "Hey Agent B! What are you doing here?"

Splin quickly stood up straight; he made sure to remove his arm from the desk rather swiftly. "Oh, uh, Lalai helped Sharq and I win a Ranked Battle."

"In exchange for telling me about how he caused the truce." Lalai beamed much to Callie's surprise. Agent 3 turned back to Agent B and pursed her lips. "But what about the Skell? You said something about it having lasers or something?"

"The Skell…" Splin just shook his head and sighed. "I have no idea."

"Look, this is nice and all, but I think we're overdue for lunch." Marie spoke up and gestured to the clock above Lalai with her thumb. "I'll be splashed if I don't fuel up. C'mon you two."

Callie could not help but sigh and rub where her...stomach...probably was? (Darn it, Inkling anatomy.) "She's right...let's grab a bite!"

Lalai just sighed and nodded, then turned back towards the younger Bate Brother eagerly. "Promise to tell me the rest later?"

Splin shrugged and walked towards the doors. "Sure. Maybe after Shalloween."

As he pushed the glass panes of the door open, a gust of wind blew in. The wind rustled around everyone and prompted Callie and Marie to hold on to their respective headgear.

The wind furled around Splin for a moment and ruffled his tentacles. He scowled as he left the building. "What do you mean it's called 'Squidoween' now?"

The doors shut behind him. They could still see Splin from behind the glass panes as he walked out, past the train tracks. Lalai got up out of her seat and joined the two squid pop stars as they readjusted the flat fast food and calamari resembling headgear on their heads.

As they began to leave the studio, Marie could not help but smirk. "I think you could do better, Lalai."

Callie snickered by Marie's side as they pushed the clear glass doors open. "Aw, I don't think it matters much! Splin's probably a good match."

Lalai just rolled her eyes. "You two matchmakers are out of luck. He's just a friend."

"A friend that you just made today?" Callie squealed dramatically. "It's practically love at first sight!"

"Alright, that's enough Callie. She might wanna take it slow, you know?" Marie joked alongside her.

"1, 2," Agent 3 stated with a scowl and pretended to click something on the side of her ears, "Save the chit chat for when we get to my sister's place."

They walked, and Lalai could not help but smirk alongside them as they made their way for lunch as the afternoon sun lazily hovered above. The Squid Sisters laughed for quite a long while on the way there, and Lalai just could not help but sigh and smile as well.

" _It's better than nothing, I guess."_ She thought to herself and continued to walk along.

* * *

AN: Sorry for the delay. Hopefully I can get the Halloween chapter out soon. Apparently Halloween is today, or the Monday on October on the twenty-third here where I live. Which is either a lie fabricated by some tricksters or it's just really inconvenient, especially after aspiring to make a Halloween chapter and confessing to someone else that I would.

If I fail to make it, I'll be downright embarrassed, that's for sure.

Embarrassment aside, let's take a look at those wonderful reviews! Thanks Dread Angel and write n wrong for reviewing!

Whatever you say, Dread. I hope those aren't bad tears, the last thing I'd want is something I've created to cause extreme distress in someone. But who knows, its the spooky season. Perhaps not all is what it seems…

Thanks write n wrong, I really liked the flashback formula. I'm glad that someone *hint hint* suggested the flashback idea. I felt like adding extra tidbits of dialogue made it feel extra nice, and I'm glad you liked them.


	62. The Second Coming of Not Shalloween

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

" **Why's the holiday called "Squidoween" now anyways?"**

Sharq chewed and chewed on the cheese contently as it dripped from the pizza slice. The fact that it burned his tongue and the roof of his mouth was but a mere formality. He might regret it the morning after, but the cheese was far too delectable to miss out on, despite the fact it felt like lava was dripping down his throat. The miniature burns were minor however in his quest to finish those delectable slices of cheese, tomato sauce, in the spirit of the holidays, pineapples.

Wooooooooooooo. Spooky.

"Roo sur oo don wan any?" He asked across the table.

Sitting in a seat across from him with his headphones strewn around his neck, Splin looked up. "...I prefer my pizza not roasting my throat, thanks."

Sharq just shrugged and continued to scald his mouth happily. His younger brother leaned back in his chair with a sigh and glanced around.

Oahu was bustling with activity and a Squidoween flair. Cobwebs that might normally raise eyebrows in health inspections clung to the walls and ceiling of the restaurant. Potted plants in the corners facing the window hung sleepy paper eels from the bottom of the leaves. A few of the customers wore costumes as well, which caused a few tables to looks like congregations between ghosts and ghouls alike.

As a shrimp attempted to stab a piece of salad and eat it through a white sheet on its head, someone whirled up to Splin and Sharq's table. Though he was busy stuffing his face, Sharq started turning towards the sudden visitor.

"How's it tasting?" A feminine voice asked politely.

Sharq shivered somewhat as he scalding food with a gulp. He turned and smiled. "Great! Nice outfit by the way, Zip."

Standing in front of the duo, Zip flashed a dazzling smile. Her normal black and suave waitress uniform seemed to have taken a trip back in time. Quite far back, in this case. She wore a tiny, tidy white bow on top of her head with her yellow tentacles flowing freely off of her head. Red and white stripes ran down her short-sleeved uniform and ended at a skirt. Despite the old fashioned attire, it ended around her hips. She continued to wear her Crazy Arrows down on her feet which stood out like no one could believe. Not to mention she carried a simple catering plate in her left hand as she stood poised which balanced some sort of milkshake.

Despite her flashy footwear, she was the spitting image of a waitress from a 1940s diner.

Not that Sharq or Splin would know for sure what that was. Zip simply waved off the compliment with another smile. "Aw. Thanks Sharq. I was afraid it wouldn't live up to last year's."

"'Last year's'?" Splin questioned with an arched eyebrow.

Zip cocked an eyebrow and raised her arms. "Guys, it's Squidoween, remember?"

"...Squidoween?" Sharq tilted his head in confusion.

"Squidoween. You know, the holiday where little squids dress up in costumes and get their parents to pay for buckets worth of candy?" She explained as she balanced the serving tray on the flat palm of her hand.

The brothers just stared in mild confusion. Sharq paused mid-nibble and gawked back at her with a slice of pizza, with whatever Inkling substitute of pepperoni dropping off of the food as the melted cheese dripped off.

With a roll of her eyes, Zip said, "They changed the name of Shalloween."

"Ohh," Sharq hummed in understanding, "Nice costume then. Where'd you get it?"

Zip sighed a strangely ambiguous sigh. "Willie got it for me as an apology for our last date."

Sharq turned in his chair to face her with a bewildered expression. "What was wrong with it?"

"He took me to a history museum." Zip shook her head then glanced down at herself. She twirled once with her balance still in check and saucer still held straight. "Luckily for him, I think it's cute. I just think that SOMEBODY-"

She yelled and spun around towards the back of the restaurant. Behind the counter and cash registers in the very back, through a small window planted in a door in the back revealed Willie who stared through the glass. Within five seconds, he noticed her, he blushed, and then retreated back into the kitchen with a blurred bob of his...ears?

"Should think twice when picking the date spot next time." Zip sighed with a disappointed hand on her hip and a frown.

"...What was that?" Splin asked. He stood up and glanced over towards the back of the restaurant.

He could make out Willie's face and a white apron in the distance, though he looked like a mere speck. The sous-chef appeared to have something attached to his head. Before Splin could piece together what exactly that was, he turned around in a flustered manner and ducked out of sight. This time however, he managed to catch a glimpse. Splin was sure of it.

"Alright, was the part of the punishment having him wear extra ears on his head?" Splin asked with a frown.

Zip sighed, and this time it sounded like she was about to swoon. "He did spend a lot on this outfit," She said with a twirl.

"...Wait, that's his Halloween costume?" Splin questioned with a point towards the kitchen. He put one fist underneath his chin "Those look like...Judd's ears."

"They were on sale at the gift shop." Zip smiled somewhat ominously, "It's sweet of him though...but now I'm worried about his rent."

"Hm." Splin turned back in his seat and stared down at the table as well as set his arm back at his side.

Their waitress friend folded her arms and still carried the serving tray straight up. "But nevermind me, what's wrong with you? I don't think you've touched a single morsel since you've arrived."

Sharq sighed; he reached for his Takoroka Mesh and held it close to his chest. "Splin's still sort of down...Maria's been gone for a while."

"The lady who lived with you guys, right?" Zip pursed her lips. "That's rough. What happened?"

"She…" Sharq bit his lip for a moment and glanced at the ceiling. "She went back home."

"Aw." Zip nodded concedingly and reached upwards. She removed her own bow from the back of her head and let her tentacles drop. "I'm sorry to hear that, you two. But Splin-" She spun towards the brother leaned back in his chair, "Starving yourself isn't going to help much. C'mon, eat up. You shouldn't have to torture yourself. Especially since you're gonna pay for this."

"...Thanks." He nodded solemnly and turned away. He fidgeted with his headphones banded around his neck.

Zip could not help but crack a smile, readjusting her own headgear. "That's the spirit. Sharq, keep an eye on him, huh?"

"Will do!" Sharq saluted, placed his cap back on his noggin then immediately reached for another slice.

With that, the waitress whirled herself off to another table. While merry customers continued to converse or dine, Sharq continued to blast his mouth with edible flames. Splin glanced at the carnage and just shook his head in disbelief.

Eventually the elder brother ceased his endless charade of burning himself and stared across the table. "C'mon Splin, just one slice?"

"...Maybe later." He waved him off with a scowl.

Sharq tilted his head and gave him a sweet smile. "Spliiiinn…"

Splin groaned and shook his head."Don't do that."

"Maria wouldn't want you to mope." He explained in a matter-of-fact voice.

"It's not just Maria!" His younger brother threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

He then bit his lip. Splin's eyes darted around. Luckily for him, it seemed like the conversation went unnoticed among the chatter. Sharq gawked at him in surprise.

Splin folded his hands together and lowered his head. "...It seems like everyone's either leaving or gone."

"...Where's this coming from?" Sharq asked with a frown of his own.

"Have you seen Tai recently, Sharq?" Splin questioned as he pushed his plate to the side of the table with a curious gaze. "For that matter, have you seen Aqua?"

"...Uh, no." Sharq admitted with a scratch of the back of his head and pursed lips. "But-"

"How about Kaz?" The younger brother stood up over his chair. "Or Xarius."

"...No." Sharq frowned and stared down at the table.

"Ix or Rem?" He interjected with a scowl and planted his arms on the table. "Seen them recently either? How do you think Tele-Cube is doing, lying on the floor at home? How do you think Mom and Dad feel, lying-"

"No!" Sharq shouted across the table. "Don't say that!"

He covered his mouth quickly. Both of the brothers glanced around the restaurant. Much to their own surprise, it still seemed as though no one noticed among the chatter. Even if the words were lost on the others, it seemed to have a profound effect on the both of them. Splin laid his chin down on the table softly-

"Oof." He grunted as it shook underneath his face.

Or just slam it into the wood. Sharq did the same, except with common sense, and laid his head down in between both of his hands in a synchronized, brotherly sadness.

"...Jeez." He sighed in between both of his palms.

"...Sorry Sharq." Splin sighed and buried his head in his arms. "It's just...stressful."

Sharq bit his lip and stared up at the ceiling. "It's okay."

"I just…" Splin scowled and looked around for a brief second. "I just seems like everyone else is just leaving. No one's around…I'm getting worried."

"I'm sure they're fine." Sharq managed a small smile. He reached across the table and ruffled his brother's tentacles on his head. "There's no need to worry. They're probably all just...off doing their own thing."

Splin sighed and glanced out the side of the restaurant through a glass window. The sun had already begun to set. "...I hope so."

He stared through the window at the sky as it grew ever so darker. Sharq turned in his chair and watched the orange out in the air give way to violet.

"But this is a breakthrough man!" Sharq grinned and patted him on the shoulder. "People are starting to grow on you more."

Splin slowly lowered his head into his arms as they laid across the table slothfully. "...I guess."

As they sat there, Sharq reached towards the table. Sitting on top between the two was a simple pizza stone that the meal was laid out on. He pushed it over towards Splin with a hopeful expression.

Splin glance up at him. With a sigh he reached for a slice. "Fine."

"Mission accomplished!" He shouted in glee.

Splin cringed and stared over his shoulder. The other patrons mirrored his surprised expression as they motionless. "...Great. Now they look."

* * *

As the brothers continued to dine elsewhere, the Bate household upon the grassy hills sat in a suspended silence. The lights were dimmed and wind disturbed the grass. The wood of the house would creak every now and then and replaced the silence with a symphony of wood settling into place.

Within the dark rooms atop a kitchen counter, a set of inanimate objects congregated in a small group. A small group formed around a simple object in the middle.

A petite statuette stood at the head of the circle. Ann-Gel scowled as she looked up and over, down and under. "...It's official."

She turned around, a shadow cast on her face. "...I have no clue how to fix him."

Behind her, two objects...sighed. A disturbed alarm clock crankily ticked seconds as a rather battle-worn snail shivered. Its shell was scratched and worn and a few fragments appeared to have been shattered.

Th alarm clock buzzed and beeped as if saying, "Oh well, we tried our best. Let's get going, I think I have a few hours to catch up on."

Ann-Gel planted her palms at her waist. "Seriously?! You're just gonna let him die?!"

Sitting next to the alarm clock, Salty rattled somewhat nervously as if it said, "Ann, we tried our best, but…"

"But what?" Ann-Gel asked defensively. "Snail, you haven't been around for days now. Why don't you help this once?"

"If I knew nearly getting eaten and being flown from Point A to B was going to happen…" Salty grumbled/rumbled.

"Guys, come on!" Ann-Gel cried out. "Do you know how much Tele-Cube has helped us out? He replaced the remote batteries, he-" She spun towards the alarm clock. "He replaced YOUR batteries for goodness sakes!"

"He also nearly destroyed a city." The alarm clock chimed with a huff. "No matter how energized I feel now, that's no excuse to-"

"Ugh!" She threw her plastic hands up in the air and stormed away towards the object in the center of the table.

The alarm clock rolled its zeros like eyes. "Feh. Let the madwoman try her hardest, I'm going back to standing adjacent to their beds."

Salty watched worriedly as the clock launched itself off of the counter and turned its attention to the trophy. Exasperated and seemingly out of options, she slammed her palms against the side of a square screen.

She leaned on the flat side and gritted her artificial teeth angrily. "...I can't believe you."

"...I-I can try to help." Salty offered with a friendly rattle of its shell.

As she stood by the Tele-Cube tilted, deactivated on its side, she just dropped her head low and sighed. "...Sure. Thanks."

She shuffled to the side slowly. Salty gave her a curt nod and hopped over as best the snail could. Salty stopped in front of the cube's black screens and eyed it curiously.

"Okay." The snail narrowed its eyes. "...Uh…"

Ann-Gel looked on with a expectant gaze as she sat down on her trophy pedestal. As much as Salty had been tossed, bitten, scratched and dropped the past few days, the snail could not help but sweat underneath its shell. ...Maybe a wound reopened. Regardless of where the true origins of the cool liquid that dripped down the inside of the snail's shell, Salty was not going to let a fellow small object down.

"...Hyah!" Salty vibrated as it tackled the cube.

The force knocked the box off of the counter where it slammed into the floor below with an alarming clunk. As Salty skidded to a stop, both the snail and Ann-Gel gawked with wide eyes as it laid still on the ground.

"Salty!" Ann-Gel shouted indignantly as her arms shook by her sides.

"I'm sorry!" Salty squeaked in fear and backed up. "I thought a good smack would wake him up!"

The trophy began to fume. "Since when does a cube go to sleep?!"

Salty gulped/shivered and backed up to the edge of the counter as Ann-Gel stomped over. Her attempts at looking intimidating were rendered somewhat ineffective as her pedestal simply slid forward while she was stomping on the orange ink decal. Before she had a chance at a stranglehold on the snail the both of them froze.

"...Do you hear that?" Ann-Gel asked as she cocked her triangular ears up to the ceiling.

Salty attempted to pivot around and locate the sound. Then it realized it had no distinguishable ears. Before the snail could ponder its lack of physical eardrums or their theoretical location, a sound began to permeate the house. Very slowly, it became apparent that either a bee was flying drunk or-

Suddenly, Ann-Gel glanced over the edge of the counter. Her eyes widened in shock. "Get down!"

"Whuh?" Salty hummed in confusion.

She hit the deck. Ann-Gel leaped back and skidded low across the counter as a flash of light blinked across the house. Realization snapped into Salty in an instant. Before he could even try to skedaddle, an explosion rocked the house. A burst of light, smoke, and debris flashed across Ann-Gel's eyes right before her vision began to fail her. She shut her eyes as she expected the worst.

"...Hm?" Ann-Gel immediately reopened her eyes.

Quickly, the amiibo pushed herself up onto her feet and dusted herself off cautiously. She glanced around curiously. The house appeared fine. Furniture still sat where it should be. The television, the counter, and even a lonely, abandoned bed strewn in the middle of the house. She sniffed the air furtively. No smoke.

"...Salty?" She asked somewhat fearfully.

A voice answered her from the side. "Yes?"

"Waaagh!" She hopped up in surprise and swiveled around.

Much to her confusion, Salty blinked back at her, completely fine. She gasped in shock. The snail's shell was no longer roughed around the edges. The shell glowed a healthy sheen, even in the dark of evening.

"...Your shell." Ann-Gel murmured in awe.

Salty frowned as best as it could with only a pair of black pupils as eyes. "Yeah, I know...it probably looks really bad. But what does that have to do with anything?"

Ann-Gel stood somewhat flabbergasted. "But- But what was that flash of light? Didn't you see it?"

"Uh..." Salty tilted itself on its side. "It's kinda hard to see in here."

"I'm sure I saw something." She huffed and planted her hands by her sides. "When we looked down at the Tele-Cube."

Salty furrowed its small blue brow. The two of them shot a bewildered look at each other. Then both Ann-Gel and Salty dashed/rolled towards the edge of the kitchen countertop. The duo peeked over the edge curiously.

Between the kitchen counter they sat upon and a stove, the Tele-Cube twitched. Small blinks of light flashed from its screen now and then. Images popped up every now and then, but they shut off too fast for either of them to register.

"...Cube?" Ann-Gel asked quietly.

Exclamation marks blared. Ann-Gel and Salty threw themselves back in fright and landed on their backs. An ominous hum noise filled the air around them as they huddled together. A sickly red light beamed from the floor and began to envelop the room. The Tele-Cube floated up towards the top of the table as the others cowered. It glared down at them and judged them with its red screens.

"...H-Hi?" Salty whimpered/shook violently.

Ann-Gel's irises shrunk as it began to spin. "Watch out!"

She hugged the snail's shell and hung on for dear life. The cube became a blur as it spun like a top in the air. The miniature tornado approached Ann-Gel and Salty on the counter menacingly. It waltzed closer and closer until the danger was face to face with both of them. They each shut one eye as the air whipped around the shape.

"...Uh." Ann-Gel arched an eyebrow as it hovered in front of them.

Winds continued to whistle and wrap around them. Some curved past, some swerved overhead. The process continued for quite some time, all the while the cube flashed multicolored lights over and over.

Salty blinked in confusion. "...Okay."

It continued to spin. And spin. And spin. The rotation continued for so long above them that eventually the duo just stopped cowering completely and settled down. They stared at the rapid cube with a frown as it generated wind for no other apparent reason then to look intimidating.

"Okay, seriously." Ann-Gel protested with a scowl. "Are you going to-"

The cube stopped suddenly and glared down at Ann-Gel. Without warning, it barrelled into her like a missile and knocked Salty to the side who also spun like a top. Unfortunately for Salty, unlike the cube the snail felt nauseous as it whirled to the side of the table. She yelped as it smashed her off the table and separated her into multiple pieces all within the span of three seconds.

"I knew it!" Her plastic head cried as it bounced off of the ceiling.

Through very disoriented viewpoints, Ann-Gel watched hopelessly as the cube spun and spun then launched itself where she assumed up was. A crash above her confirmed her horrified guess. Eventually she came to rest onto the wooden floor with a few hops and skips until she stopped completely. Luckily for her, the rest of her followed suit and landed next to her.

She stared up through the hole in the ceiling as her head rested next to her legs. "...Oh no."

"Oough…" Salty's eyes rolled around dizzily. When Salty eventually settled back still, it shook itself and hopped over towards the opposite edge of the counter. Salty glanced down. "You need some help with that?"

Ann-Gel sighed and tried to push her head to her torso. "...Please."

Salty began to hop down onto one of the stools by the counter, but then stopped. It glanced towards where its arms might have been had nature taken a different course. "...This might take a while."

The disassembled amiibo glanced up at the ceiling. "I think you might have to hurry, then."

* * *

"...This is really good actually." Splin muttered between bites. "I'll admit, I was skeptical of the pineapples…"

They're great, aren't they?

Sharq grinned across the table. "They're pretty sweet, right! I dunno where these things even came from in the first place!"

Splin nodded along, though somewhat uncertainly. "Yeah...where did these come from anyways?"

As they talked about the origins of fruit, the sky outside began to dim. Lights in the restaurant started to flick on as the sun bid adieu to the world. It seemed so, until the sky started to glow.

"Come to think of it…" Splin murmured as he stared down at his meal. "Where did pizza even come from in the first place? I've never really looked into its origins."

Confused patrons turned their gazes to the windows. Conversation and consumption came to a grinding halt. The sky seemed to flash as if some deity raved in the sky.

"Hmm…" Sharq pursed his lips curiously. "Maybe they were ancient recipes or something?"

"...Actually…" Splin scratched his chin.

From outside, the rainbow lighting continued to permeate the sky. A small crowd within the restaurant formed, each and everyone of them gazed to the sky worriedly. The lights within the restaurant flickered on and off ominously, steadily stuck in a rhythm of dimming and lighting. The brothers ceased their conversation and turned.

"Huh?" Both of them hummed curiously.

At that moment, a bolt of lightning jolted down from the sky seemingly out of nowhere. The brothers gasped as it flashed before their eyes and sparks flew just outside the glass barrier. They shrieked and ducked back instinctively when it blasted the glass pane. The crowd gasped in horror behind them as they fell to the floor. A few screamed, and a few made the smart choice of backing away from the window.

Zip zipped straight by them. "You two okay?!"

The brothers groaned and picked themselves off of the floor. They checked themselves quickly with a lift of their headgear and a few pats to the skin.

"...We're fine." Splin sighed and placed his headphones around his neck. He swiveled his head and glanced towards the window curiously then gasped in shock. "How is that glass still standing?!"

Zip blinked in confusion then glanced at the window panes outside to the street. It shined cleanly as if nothing had ever happened. "...Hm."

"Holy shell, it worked!" Someone yelled with a strange, glee tone.

Before anyone could say anything in response, someone popped up from the ground right next to her. A chef hat popped up, along with a white apron. Pela stared at the glass and whistled contently. "Nice! Looks like the indestructible glass I ordered actually worked!"

"Indestructible glass?" Zip turned in confusion. "Since when did we have that?"

"Since the start, I just never got around to testing it!" She chuckled then reached over and tapped the window with the back of her knuckle twice. "See? Sturdy as a rock!"

The windows creaked as they leaned forward into the streets. The glass pane fell off of the frame and landed on the other side with a dull thud and let in a light gust of wind into the restaurant. Pela's smile never faltered. She glanced out the now square hole in the wall out onto the sidewalk outside and whistled. The sky had completely stopped its bizarre aurora and had returned to the simple black of dead of night.

"...Sure, it's a pain in the butt to attach," She gestured at the floor with her hands on her hips, then turned to the brothers who watched her incredulously from the bottom of their table. "But look at that! Not a scratch, not on the merchandise nor the customers!"

"...I appreciate the foresight." Splin coughed and glanced back towards the open hole in the wall.

"You're welcome." Pela spoke proudly with her hands on her hips. "That'll be fifty extra coins."

He frowned at her. "..."

"Just kidding!" She laughed, albeit with a tinge of disappointment. "Just as long as you pay for the food."

"...Will do." Splin scowled and dusted himself off.

Splin glanced to the side. Sharq stood there and marveled at the ingenuity of the glass as the relieved crowd went back to their own tables. He reached down and tapped the window in awe. As if he were a confused bird, he continued to tap the glass repeatedly.

"Hm. Lalai, you have some interesting taste in friends," Splin heard all of a sudden. He spun back and swore that he saw Pela narrow her eyes at him.

"...Huh?" Splin tilted his head in confusion.

The bewildered expression seemed to give Pela some relief. She just smiled back innocently and turned away. "Hm? Oh, nothing, never mind."

"...What?" He asked curiously and somewhat worriedly. "What are you talking about?"

She simply gave him a "clueless" shrug and another friendly service smile that made Splin wonder if she was going to pull a gun out on him as soon as he let her out of his sight. The glint in her bright sky blue eyes was hardly a reassuring testament to her ominous stride. With that, Pela simply walked off with a hum and waved to a few of the customers merrily on her way back towards the kitchen. Splin scowled and sat back on his seat. He shuffled before he finally rested upright back in place.

"...You finished, Sharq?" Splin asked towards the side across the table. "...Sharq?"

He stared at his brother, who gawked out at the large empty space out into the streets. Sharq stood out at the newly formed entrance/exit and continued to stare in awe as a chilled breeze curled past. Splin shivered slightly; he narrowed his eyes and tracked Sharq's gaze out into the cold night curiously.

Instantly, several feelings shifted through Splin's head. He was shocked, because there she was. He was frightened, because there she was. He was...there.

Was she?

She stood in the middle of the street and stared at the two brothers. One hand covered with a black glove laid at her side while the other one rubbed her violet tentacles. Splin felt sick. She wore the very same female student clothes, same as last year A mischievous smirk and a wave of her hand confirmed it as if it were not already obvious yet bizarre enough.

"Hey you two." Tai greeted them from outside with a friendly wave of her hand. "What's up?"

* * *

AN: All will be explained in due time. All you need to know is that this will be a two part of a Halloween-esque special chapter. I wanted to post it all on Halloween, but then I got wrapped up in writing a short story for a friend and got mixed up in some other plans, so I doubted that I would actually make it out for Halloween. But all you need to know is that not everything will seem quite as it seems.

...Eh. Sorry, I'm just losing a little steam on this. I'm sure what with the mild burst of hype behind Splatoon for the NX, I'll be able to motivate myself and my wallet to do something about that. ...If responsibility and the future weight of crushing debt and loans don't do me in first.

On that not too spooky note, let's get to the reviews. Thanks Ultrapyre, Rynowm, write n wrong, and CathyMirii for reviewing!

Well Ultrapyre, take all the time you need. Quite frankly I'd be using Tai sparingly if I do decide to write more about her, and a majority of them would incorporate scenes from her past or that of another Octoling's, so there's no need to rush.

Rynowm, thanks for the correction. Yeah, some nonsense must have been brushed around the town or something for me to get the date of Halloween confused. I suppose I'll have to pay more attention to the calendar! Technically, this isn't the first time Agent 3 has been mentioned, but yes, this is the first time she's been truly fleshed out in this story. I'm proud of her role here.

write n wrong, I appreciate that you noticed that, even if I might have made it a tad obvious. I really wanted to make the whole, "washed-up character" feel sort of genuine in a sense. I also wonder somewhat on how Agent 3 and Agent B here would get along.

Finally, CathyMirii. I'm extremely flattered that you think I did such a fine job on Maria's chapter. I have to apologize, I'd like to thank you for also complimenting the one-shot you mentioned, but I have quite a few of them. Regardless, thank you for your support. And for your shared surprise at Halloween in the Splatoon universe being labelled as Squidoween.

(...I'm still a little disappointed because that was one of my favorite puns. Halloween, Allhallow and Allhallowtide being replaced with Shalloween, Allshallow and Allshallowtide? I'm never getting that back, but I guess "Squid" makes more sense than "Shallow".)

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle and I'm sleepy. See you...hopefully not too long after Halloween.


	63. Nightmarish Egotism (Halloween)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Nightmarishly Egotistical and Spooky Chapter Delays**

Ann-Gel wished that Maria was still here. It had been a few days, sure, but now she started to see what benefits she missed out on with one less entity with opposable thumbs still there to help. Luckily for her, Salty turned out to be a diligent worker. Even if all it had left was his shell, still somehow fixed after the flash of light, it helped push her back together fine enough.

The snail pushed over her legs, and to that extension her shorts over by her torso. It shivered somewhat as it carried out the task, "Alright, I think I'm almost done."

"...Thanks." Ann-Gel sighed as she stared up at the empty hole in the ceiling.

Several stars blinked overhead, as did Salty. "...Are you feeling fine? Do you need some water?"

She could not roll as easily with a pair of stiff orange tentacles, but Ann-Gel managed to shoot an incredulous glare at Salty from the floorboard her head was on.

"...Oops." Salty jittered in a sort of embarrassment. "Uh, well, no worries." It hopped over behind Ann-Gel's head and began to push forward. "Let's just get you back together again."

Ann-Gel would have nodded if her neck was not snapped off the rest of her body. She settled for a slight bob. "Alright."

She continued to gaze up at the ceiling. She felt fine physically despite her predicament, but whatever plastic organs inside of her capable of generating feeling was working, it was not feeling great to have them. A sense of rising panic began to grow within her as time went on.

As she stared up, she thought to herself, _"Something's gonna go wrong. If it hasn't already, at least."_

With that thought now firmly embedded into her head, she glanced towards Salty and called out, "Give me a hand."

"Of course." Salty nodded as it pushed over one of Ann-Gel's arms.

* * *

Splin was not sure what to think anymore. Ironically, he thought that same thought for quite a few days now. But against all odds, there she was. He wondered whether or not Octolings had extra methods of travel he was not aware of.

Despite his silent, mental glee, he still cringed at Tai. He was glad to see her, sure, but the schoolgirl outfit she donned was not quite as reassuring. As if he were a soldier that suffered from a bad case of PTSD, he recoiled back in his seat.

"You guys are looking cool," Tai complimented as she stepped over the hole in the restaurant onto the floor. "At least, that's what I'd say if you two goobers were in costume."

As she entered through the window, she attracted much more attention. A flounder sat at one of the corners ceased his consumption of his delightful meal and turned towards the Octoling. Several other sea creatures followed his example. Eventually all attention in the room was redirected towards the general area of the brothers, focused on the octopus girl who took a chair and pulled up to their table.

A few of the Inklings that sat at other tables whispered to each other and glared at the octopus. Tai was hardly fazed. "Nothing? I get all dressed up for this?"

Both of the brothers shook their head rapidly. They gawked at her and said, "We thought you were dead!"

Tai's violet iris grew in surprise. Then she laughed. "Aw! That's sweet of you guys. But as you can see," She pounded on her flat chest. "I'm pretty sure I'm alive."

Sharq seemed hardly convinced. Slowly but surely he reached across the table and Tai very much noticed. Though she cocked an eyebrow, she did nothing to stop him. He poked her in the face on her right cheek, much to her amusement, then retracted his arm. The motion seemed to awestruck Splin more.

Sharq turned to his younger brother and nodded. "Yep! She's alive."

"See?" Tai spoke up and landed her feet underneath the wooden table. "Nothing to be afraid of."

Despite her words, they did little to persuade them. The brothers still stared at each other. The crowd in the background continued to glare. One Inkling sat at a booth in the background reached underneath her seat with narrowed eyes, a .96 Gal stacked underneath her seat.

The room might have exploded if Zip had not waltzed in and defused it. With the grace of a figure skater she spun up to the table and greeted the new visitor. "That's a face I haven't seen in a long while. Tai, right? We met last Squidoween."

Tai whistled and eyed the waitress from head to toe. "Neat. ...Wait, last what now?"

"...Last Shalloween." Splin coughed under his breath.

"Wha?" She tilted her head in confusion. "You renamed the holiday? That's really stupid."

While she seemed to play with fire, a few of the other bystanders, mostly non-Inkling species nodded and concurred with her with whispers and a few cheers. The Inklings in the room stared at their plates awkwardly and attempted to look scarce.

"You're still wearing the same costume from last year though." Zip spoke with somewhat of a disappointed tone. "Won't 'Octoling high school student' get a little stale?"

The other sea-life tilted their head and did a double-take with a glance and a gawk at Tai as she flaunted her threads proudly. A few of them peeked at her head to toe and rubbed their chins with a newfound difficulty, as if to believe that it was simply just a costume. The Inkling girl in the background stopped her reach for her weapon and stared curiously as the rest did.

The Octoling in plain sight just smiled and shrugged. "What can I say? I think it looks good on me."

More approving cheers erupted from the other customers. Though a hint of reluctance could be spotted in a small minority of the members of the crowd ever so often, a loud majority showered Tai in their approval much to the brothers' surprise.

Tai grinned and planted her tidy School Shoes on the table. "There's some extra proof for you."

Before Zip could respond, a chef hat popped up from the floor besides her. "Ah yes, very nice. How much did you pay for those?" Pela asked as she rose up from the ground. Zip blinked and stepped back in surprise.

"Well, they were a gift." Tai shrugged with a smirk.

"Oh, good," Pela nodded with a smile as she gripped the collar of her uniform. "You'll need the money if you continue to dirty the table like that, my dear."

"..." Tai scowled and retrieved her feet from the top of the wooden surface. The chef smiled and sunk back into the floor, much to Zip's surprise, and vanished nearly instantaneously. "...I didn't realize you people had an Aussie too."

"Well." Zip glanced around with a cough. "I'm going to have to talk to Pela about any other modifications she made to this place. But in the meantime, would you like anything?"

"I think I'm good." Tai responded as she reached for a slice of pizza.

Zip shrugged, and with a small smile twirled and skated away on the floor. "Happy Squidoween."

As she whirled herself off, the restaurant once again returned to their chatter and chit-chat with any suspicion of the Octoling seemingly nonexistent. Tai pulled off a slice and licked her chops as cheese rolled down the front, Sharq followed her lead and snatched another slice. As they did, they gazed anxiously at Splin who continued to sulk over a neat white plate.

"...Dude, what's up with you?" Tai asked as her mouth watered at the food.

"...Nothing, go enjoy the food." Splin waved her off and planted his chin on the table.

Looking back at it, Splin would not be able to truly guess what prompted it. Tai slapped the slice down on the table (Sharq gazed at the fallen slice mournfully) and reached at Splin. Before the younger brother had even the slightest idea of what was going to happen, the Octoling across from him gripped him by the collar like Pela had done to her just moments prior and dragged his head up across the table.

Splin yelped as he was pulled, and much to his disdain no one seemed to want to glance in their direction anymore. "Ow! Tai!"

"C'mon." Tai frowned down at the Inkling. "What's wrong Splin?"

"Nothing!" Splin scowled and attempted to push her iron grip off of his shirt. As to be expected, she hardly let up. "Sharq, help me out here!"

"Splin won't eat because Maria left a while ago." His older brother blurted out besides Tai.

Tai's violet iris grew in shock. She loosened her grip. "What?"

Splin switched into a blue squid and slipped out of her hand. He landed back on his on seat across the table and huffed. "No, that's not true."

"Yeesh. No wonder you look so miserable." Tai commented as she eyed him from head to toe.

"I think he also misses Xarius," Sharq stated with a frown and one hand on the side of his cheek, "And Aqua, and-"

Across the table, Splin glowered at both of the other cephalopods. He started to say something, but just sighed and returned to sulk in his chair. Sharq stopped flapping his gills and simply lowered his cap over his face in embarrassment. "Sorry."

Tai patted Sharq on the shoulder reassuringly. "It's cool. Splin, get up and eat a slice."

"I already did." He muttered in response and leaned back in his chair.

"Then eat another one, huh?" She reached over and elbowed Splin. "Splin, you look like royal garbage. And I should know what that looks like firsthand."

Splin turned his head away towards the cool of night. The wind brushed past his face lightly and rustled his tentacles brushed behind his neck.

Though Tai was hardly one for dramatics. With a smirk, she just elbowed him again. "C'mon, lighten up."

Again, he just remained as silent as he could. He pouted, and though he attempted a straight face, it only resulted in curling the others' lips up in a grin.

"Splinny…" Tai tapped him repeatedly with the tip of her arm.

Sharq grinned and placed his hands on the side of his cheeks. "Splin…"

"...What?" He looked up and glared at the other two.

"Are you just going to sit there sad?" Tai asked with her hands on her hips.

"...Probably." Splin uttered in a melancholic tone with a small sniffle.

She rolled her eyes and leaned on the table. Tai glared straight down at him. "Oh jeez. Look, Splin, if there's one thing I hate, aside from work, it's having to deal with some depressed kid. Seriously, lighten up. What's it gonna take?"

Splin did not respond and continued to sit still. The other two of them shot a look at one another, frowned, then nodded simultaneously. Sharq left his chair, reached into his shorts pockets and smacked gold coins down on the table and approached the other side. The older cephalopods slowly walked around the square wooden table. Though he might have been suspicious, Splin was too busy with his state of sad.

Sadness shifted into shock and mild outrage when two separate arms locked around his own and lifted him out of his seat. On a whim, he shifted into a small blue squid and struggled to escape, but found that the combined grip of both an Octoling troop and his elder brother was unfathomable strength to his smaller squid frame no matter how slippery he might have been.

"Hey!" Splin complained as he bashed the arms with his small squishy head.

"Where should we take him to cool off?" Tai asked as she curled her tentacles with her free left hand.

The squid locked in between her and Sharq threw a miniature fit as best it could. Sharq pursed his lips. "I don't think we should take him back to the house. He needs to have fun."

Splin switched back into a regular Inkling only to find that his arms were still locked in to the others'. He grumbled, "No I don't. I'm fine."

"You know…" Tai hummed ominously. "There was that haunted house from last year."

Splin groaned in the arm-lock. "Oh Cod, not again."

"That sounds awesome!" Sharq commented with a gleeful smile. "If anything, we can scare the depression off of him!"

"Indeed! Sounds mighty mystical, does it not?" Came a sudden bout of raucous laughter.

The trio frowned and turned towards the window in bewilderment. Standing in front of the street past the fallen sheet of glass, an Inkling stood. An Inkling that legends would tell of for centuries. For this Inkling, this grand, grand Inkling in front of them was none other than-

"Are you talking to us Ari?" Sharq asked with a tilt of his head.

Frustrated, the orange Inkling shrugged his shoulders. "Yes! Was that not obvious enough?"

Ari stood in front of him, and in true Squidoween tradition was garbed in a costume. As if dressed for battle, he donned a yellow coat that draped over a white shirt. Brown shoulder plates and a brown collar shielded his neck and white collars that puffed out at his sleeves. He stood still over the glass with one arm bent, his left hand flashed a five in front of his face. Behind him as his coat flapped in the wind in a manner that somehow enhanced the pose, his right hand gripped an Inkbrush tightly as it pointed slanted downwards to the pavement.

"No I thought you had an imaginary friend." Sharq admitted with a smile.

He frowned and crossed his arms, "Yeah, says you two-" Ari cleared his throat. "Er, of course you cadavers would say something so indecently hypocritical! I, Ari Jabin, feel offense."

" _Good, then you know how we felt when you brought up our parents."_ Splin thought as he struggled for freedom.

"But enough of me!" Ari declared as he stamped his chest with the flat fingerprint of his left thumb and stood up straight. "I overheard from yonder shelter-"

Ari pointed across the street. Sat on a sidewalk adjacent to Oahu's was a large green dumpster. Splin sniffed the air, and while it did not smell repulsive, he tried to back away from the window. Unfortunately for him, neither Sharq nor Tai was willing to let up their grip even in the presence of Ari.

"Oh." Tai scowled and twisted Splin's arm much to his dissatisfaction. "Hey."

Instantly Ari turned and gawked. He leaned back almost as far as a lack of a spine could get him and gasped, "BY THE FALLEN HOPES AND DREAMS OF ARES' HEARTS!"

"..." Tai recoiled in disgust.

An air of change had passed over Ari. He cleared his throat and began to strut over, much to everyone excusing Sharq's dissatisfaction.

As he set down one brown boot on the glass pane and began to lean in, he paused midway. Face to face with Tai, he stood frozen in a indecisive smile. "Ah…"

Tai raised her free fist up by her head with a blank face. "Ari…"

"This is somewhat of an awkward turn of events." Ari uttered with a sheepish grin.

"Eh, you're starting to act like a normal person?" The Octoling asked as she lowered her fist just slightly.

"The issue is, I would love to seduce you." The orange Inkling explained.

She raised her fist again.

"Unfortunately, as grand as the very embodiment of heroism I am I have set out as, I find that flirting would be out of the question." Ari admitted with a glaring tone of disappointment.

"...Okay." Splin blinked as he hung taut by his arms.

"However, nonetheless of my endeavors to attract the maiden of my dreams," He gestured with a robust shout that sent the trio reeling, "Your attraction to and of adventure is unparalleled, rivals. Since my companionship this shallow night-"

"It's Squidoween, they changed it." Came a correction from Zip as she spun past.

"...Er, this squidly night," Ari retorted with a nod towards the waitress as she sped off through the clear lines between the tables, "I take it upon the powers, the almighty powers within me to assist your quest to the crypt of the unknown upon this one fabled night of haunting."

Sharq gazed outside with a simple smile and a stare that put whiteboards to shame as he stared a stare of blankness beyond compare. "...What?"

"He's lonely and wants to follow us." Tai stated plainly.

"Guess that's...one way of putting it." He tugged at his collar in embarrassment. "But precisely my dear. My cousin, bless her hearts, has taken off for the city of basic grandeur that is Splatlake."

"...What about the other two?" Splin pointed out the empty spaces behind Ari.

"Alas, Rit and Bas have left on their own adventure. They said something about 'painting the town orange'." Ari chuckled to himself. "The dynamic duo is probably polishing their skills on the fields of battle, so to speak!"

* * *

Under the cover of the night, in a secluded area of Inkopolis Plaza, two sets of eyes peeked out of the darkness from the front of the plaza, over the wall next to a train stop just outside of the barricade. One pair was brown, the other blue. They both watched eagerly as a two Inkling teams of four in varying degrees of color and gear departed from the entrance of the tower and waved goodbye to one another. As they filed out in their own separate paths, the Great Zapfish above them all yawned and coiled around the tower tiredly and closed its eyes.

The pairs of eyes leapt out from the shadows into the plaza. Other body parts attached to the eyes could be seen from the glare of light, two females, each with the same orange tentacles and attire sprinted towards the center of the plaza. They were dressed about as expected from the rebellious teenager section of the mall, with Skull Bandanas wrapped around their mouths, Black Inky Rider vests camouflaging them with the rest of the night. The only thing that might have tipped them away were the Cherry Kicks they wore on their feet as they sprinted.

They ducked under the streetlights and booked it across the plaza without a second thought. In front of them, Judd sat and snored like a professional on his miniature velvet cushion on top of his violet pillar. Their run decelerated into a brisk jog, then the two Inklings slowly began to sneak past the cat and crouched by the wall behind him.

"...Bas, you brought the stuff, right?" The brown-eyed Inkling asked.

"'Did I bring the stuff', she asks. Like, duh." Bas smirked with a hint of pride.

Her partner just narrowed her eyes. "...Did you?"

"Yes, mom." She sighed and reached into her Inky Rider. "Do me a solid and keep an eye out Rit."

Rit nodded and trained her eye on the fat feline as he snoozed on his comfortable perch. From out of Bas' black jacket she pulled out an aluminum can with a neat white nozzle on the top. She aimed it at the wall and pushed down on the nozzle and out poured a stream of orange. The paint stream layered across the wall in a clean circle. The circle was added onto with yet another one. Eventually, the once white wall was covered with two great big eyes like that of an Inkling's squid transformations.

With a satisfied grunt, Bas stowed away her can, reached up to her bandana, pulled it down her face and lifted her fingers up to her lips. She blew a kiss, "Mwah! Voila! It's like, something that deserves to be in the museum!"

Rit turned towards the wall. She instantly deflated in posture. "...Two eyes."

"Beautiful, aren't they?" Bas chuckled and leaned on the side of the wall. "I think I deserve a treat or something for that."

"...We, as did Sari," Rit began with a scowl, "Ditched Ari and sneaked into this plaza so we could spray paint on a decent set of eyes on this."

She rapped on the barricade with the back of her knuckle by the orange drawing.

"...I dunno, I think it looks great." Bas mused as she twiddled her finger.

"Meooow. (I think it's purr-etty.)" A yawn adjacent to them answered.

The both of them, upon the sound of a purr, scrambled over each other and took off for the nearest barricade that sheltered the plaza. They piled up onto and over a short wall that bordered the plaza and leapt off into the dark. Their footsteps could be heard stomp with quite the speed as they took off.

Unbeknownst to the two, Judd continued to sleep with purrs and gestures down towards the ground, eyes still shut tight. "Mew… (Purr-etty waves...wouldn't you say?)"

* * *

"Wherever they are, I'm sure they are making me very proud." Ari enthused with a hand placed on his chest.

"Mm-hm," Tai hummed on the other side of the street across from him, "Sure."

Ari spun around and shouted, "Hey!"

Tai and Sharq made haste in their walk away from the restaurant. From within the restaurant through the rectangle hole in the wall, Zip waved them off as they ventured towards the outskirts of the city through alleyways. A flustered Ari ran off with his Inkbrush at his side with a sprint as he shouted, "Wait for me!" and followed after the group.

"...Are you two seriously doing this to me?" Splin complained as his knees scraped the cement pavement. He switched into a squid and his legs no longer dragged against the sidewalk.

"Splin, trust us, this is gonna help wonders!" Sharq grinned while he held his younger brother's right tentacle in his left hand.

Splin glared at Sharq with his black squid eyes. "Sure, might as well take me to a morgue while you're at it."

"It's Squidoween Splin." Tai spoke up with an ominous smile. "Just buck up and enjoy it, you brought this upon yourself."

"For being sad?" He interjected and attempted to break free. "You're punishing me for being **sad**?"

"No, we're helping you out for making me sad because you were sad," Tai corrected him and pulled up on his right tentacle, "Now stop complaining, we're going to get that stupid silly smile back on your face if it krills us."

Splin hardly said a word and continued to hang from the duo's arms. _"It just might."_

The cephalopods shuffled off through the dark of night through alleys and streets, all the while Ari followed behind, in the search of a house with hallowed halls. The moon above them blinked and flashed with a brilliant glow; the orb gazed down and tracked them with their light as they passed through the sleepy city.

* * *

Her hand clicked as it was pushed back into place. She twisted it and patted it with her other hand until it fit smug. Ann-Gel reached up with her newly reattached hand and tapped her head with it as if to test it.

"...Ah." She sighed in relief.

Slowly, she pushed up on the wooden floor. A creak noise popped out, and Ann-Gel was not sure if it was her or the house at that point. Adjacent to her, Salty watched worriedly with a snail's furrowed brow.

"Did I do it right?" Salty asked Ann-Gel with a nervous shake of its shell.

The amiibo stretched her arms. "...They didn't pop off, so I guess."

"Phew." Salty sighed and ceased its shakes. Then it shivered, "What do we do now?"

Ann-Gel stretched her arms and started to shuffle for the doors. "We find the Tele-Cube."

"Ha!" Came a chime from behind them.

A scowl emerged on Ann-Gel's face. She turned around, and lo and behold on the floor by the feet of Maria's empty bed the alarm clock gazed back at the other two. "Impressive. This is the first time I think I've ever seen someone take off for death."

"Can it clock." Ann-Gel crossed her arms. "At least we're trying."

"Trying to get yourselves killed?" The clock beeped as if it were a laugh. "Heh! It looks like they're really rubbing off on you."

"What?!" Ann-Gel shot a glare at the clock.

"Oh, don't mind me." The clock would have said if it had a voice. "Go ahead and die, I'll just sit at home, safe."

The clock finished with a smug sounding alarm chime which further served to bother Ann-Gel. It turned around and began to hop with a clank in its step as it approached the beds at the back of the house; the wood creaked underneath its clatter. Ann-Gel gritted her teeth and glared as it pompously departed for its cozy perch on top of the wooden dresser.

Salty shivered slowly and made for the door. "...C'mon Ann-Gel. We'd better get a move on."

"...Not yet." The amiibo muttered under her breath and rolled up her already short sleeves.

The snail watched in a sort of mild terror as she stalked up behind the clock. She raised her hands and reached towards the back of the clock as it wobbled across. Without a warning of any sort, Ann-Gel reached and gripped the back of the clock.

The clock beeped in shock. "Whuh?"

Ann-Gel tugged as hard as she could. In the back of the alarm clock, her fingers pulled at a small black panel. The screws embedded in the panel began to come loose with a wretched squeak. Salty gawked in horror at the little amiibo as she continued to rip off the alarm clock's metallic back.

"What are you doing?!" The alarm clock blared in...alarm.

"You've been almost no help to anyone!" The amiibo shouted in annoyance. "All you do is sit around and insult people! Now Cube's probably out there-"

"What can I do?! I'm an alarm clock! I was hardly alive for a year or two! What, do you want me to wake the cube up or something?" The alarm clock screeched at her.

Ann-Gel paused. She tapped her chin pensively with her left hand as she held onto the alarm clock with the other. "...Actually…"

"No." A low melancholy beep sounded off from the alarm clock.

Salty's small black eyes widened. "Whoa, what?!"

"Yeah." Ann-Gel gazed towards the sky confidently. "We don't know what's wrong with Tele-Cube. However, there is definitely something wrong with it."

"So you want me to screech at it to snap it out of it?!" The alarm clock blared incredulously. "That's preposterous! I can hardly wake Sharq up in the morning without getting bashed!"

"...Clock." Ann-Gel frowned down at the black device. "Please. You can help us."

The clock rattled irritably. "Absolutely not."

Ann-Gel continued to grip the clock for some time. Her pupils dilated and the longer she held on, the chillier her hand felt. Finally, after a long while, Ann-Gel ceased her hold and held her head down. Using her pedestal she shuffled towards the door morosely.

As she passed by Salty as it laid stagnant on the floor she muttered, "Let's go Salty."

She walked past slowly as she hung her head sadly. Salty stared at her pitiably and shuffled over to try and keep up. The duo continued for the door as the alarm clock laid on the floor and continued to tick away at the seconds.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"...Fine." A beep vibrated through the house as the alarm clock let out an electronic sigh. "Fine. You got me. I'll go with you to die." The alarm clock turned around. "You happy-"

"Thank you!" Ann-Gel squealed as she hugged the screen.

Against all odds, the alarm clock's numbers from one to nine shifted to create a scowl. "Although after smudging my screen, I think I'll have to-"

"Sorry!" Ann-Gel let go and dusted the clock off. "I'm sorry."

"Hold your plastic tongue," It scolded her with the scowl still etched in its numbers, "There wouldn't be any point of an alarm clock if I didn't have anyone to count the time for."

Ann-Gel shot a gleeful glance over at the snail behind her. Salty sat at the foot of the door and simply "smiled" back at her with his black pupils.

"Then let's go find that cube!" Ann-Gel announced with unadulterated pride.

"...Alright then." The alarm clock chimed. "...Then can you help me get to the door then?"

The amiibo turned behind her. She watched as the clock, for lack of a better word, started off with a hop and a skip. He followed up with another hop.

Ann-Gel started to shuffle towards him, then frowned. "...This is going to be a long night."

* * *

AN: I apologize, but I will have to end this chapter off here. I just want to say a few things.

Now, I think this story is good in its own right for branching off of a previous joke of a story that was the last one, a joke that went on for quite a long time, but as much as I love updating this story I feel like lately I've been neglecting quite a few of my other stories. I can't remember the last time I've updated my Pikmin or Super Smash Bros. fics, and though I do enjoy the Splatoon story, I feel like my creativity with this story is running a little low. While Splatoon for the Switch is coming out on the horizon of 2017 and could provide enough inspiration for this story or even different ones based around these squiddos, and though I love hearing the feedback of you lovely people who come to read a simple story by a simple turtle, I think I should hang back and update a few of my other stories.

I know that I'm drawing Squidoween out a little, but I don't want to draw out The Drafted Squid, The Flora and Fauna, or The Glory of Custom Moves because of one story...or maybe I'm just putting words in my mouth. I hope you can understand.

And if you already do understand, great! Sorry for the long paragraph, but I just wanted to let you know in case this story starts to falter in updates. It probably won't because I want to finish this long Squidoween thing sometime before Thanksgiving break, maybe after Veteran's Day thanks to the free time, but I just wanted to offer a little caution.

(though I'm sure a lot of you have much more to do than just read this story, heh)

Anyways, let's get right to the reviews here. Thanks CathyMirii and write n wrong for reviewing!

Cathy, I'm sorry to say that it isn't a Mafia II reference. Rather, it's a Ruby's Diner reference. Food is a major inspiration for this story as it keeps me from dying and it's good, so I thought I'd do it a solid and pay it respects in a way. Plus, Zip was a waitress already, so I thought it fit. A relationship between Pela and Lalai needs to be fleshed out, I admit. Some of these ideas are nice, but I feel like I'd need to start a whole short series or something for a few of these characters.

...Unless this one counts. ...Hmm.

But yeah, thanks for your insight on my characters, Miss Mirii. ...Mirii. Reminds me of another Inkling character, by the by.

Well write n wrong, you can discover where Tai has been in Ultrapyre's story, One Missed Call. If you had the time, I'd recommend it. He has a wonderful cast of characters and a rather unique story for this side of the site and he portrayed Tai and Aussie rather well, in my opinion. We'll be sure to discover what's up with the Tele-Cube in the third installment of this long Squidoween chapter arc.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, boy am I looking forward to a free day on Friday. See you.


	64. Labyrinth of Uncertainty (Halloween)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

" **Mystical Labyrinth of Certain Uncertainty! In which the Great Ari Jabin and his stalwart companions ascend a grand mountain! Where will this adventure lead our heroes? Find out next-"**

"Er, sorry." Ari coughed as he stepped forward with one careful step. He turned one eye up towards the stars above. One particular star seemed to fizzle above his head, it blinked, as though it desperately attempted to retain its last seconds of life. "I've got it!"

 **Find out now on Ari's Sensational Splatoon Satur...uh...**

He paused again and reached up to his chin with a solitary index finger towards his curious pursed lip. The star above him shrunk into the dark. Ari raised the index finger in the air and asked, "What's today again?"

"It's Monday, Ari. ...At least it was supposed to be," Splin muttered under his breath as he was dragged up a green hill, "Anything else you want to describe?"

Such as the grass knoll we're ascending uphill?! Or the mystery that remains on the top?! Quite wholesome, wouldn't you say?!

"...Nevermind." The blue squid stuck between Sharq and Tai's arms muttered.

"Well, Splin my friend," Ari coughed and shook his head, "On an adventure as potentially descriptive as this, one would miss out to view the finer details."

True to the young narrator's word, Ari, Sharq, and Tai ascended a rather tall green hill in the dead of night as a full moon glowed down at them behind the shelter of dark clouds. The wind whistled and rustled both Ari and Tai's tentacles. Sharq's head remained cozy underneath his cap while Splin flapped against the night breeze.

"...So, walking uphill warrants narration?" Splin coughed out.

"Yes." Ari responded as they pushed on through the thick shades of night.

Throughout their ascent, Ari constantly edged closer to Tai as she edged up the hill. "Er, so, milady, would thou mind any assistance with thou burden?"

"'Thou'?" The Octoling repeated with a chuckle and a shake of her head. "That's just wrong on a century level."

"...Oh." Ari muttered as he covered his mouth with his brown collar. "...Right, of course."

"Hey, I didn't say that you were too wrong with saying it." She shrugged. Her abrupt shoulder movement prompted Splin to tilt to one side, not that it could have been changed. "It sorta fits you. What are you supposed to be, anyway?"

Ari gazed up at the night sky and beamed almost as brightly as the moon that followed the gang from overhead. "...A hero inscribed in legend. One disabled with a curse within his own tainted blood. A man of peerless novelty and heroism."

"...Okay?" She scratched underneath one of the tentacles on her head.

Ari's shoulders sagged in a sheepish reluctance, his face pursed and peculiar. "...I...think his name started with an 'O'."

As the two had their "cryptic conversation of semi-subtle Fire Emblem costume references", the brothers had their own debate. Splin continued to tug at each arm that shackled him to no avail. They held, glued to the blue tentacles of the younger brother.

It was during his thirteenth attempt to escape the confines of a pair of hands that Splin gazed up at Sharq restlessly. "Sharq, please. Let's just go home and forget about Squidoween. We can just skip to Thanks...Thanks…"

Splin furrowed his brow and gazed up at the stars. Unfortunately for our star crossed protagonist, there would be no answer, unless the twinkle of light in the distance was optimal.

"...No." Splin shook his head firmly. "It isn't."

Then looks like you will have to find out the answer for yourself.

The blue squid would have crossed his arms had they not been locked in place by both his cherished friend and sole brother. "...Sharq?"

"Splatsgiving?" Sharq swiveled his head down to Splin.

"...What was the naming scheme behind that?" He muttered under his breath.

Sharq hummed as he and Tai stepped up over a flat stone wedged between the grass, "We're squids, 'splats' has to do with our Turf War sport-"

Splin made a quick case of an interjection. "Yeah, but at 'Splatsgiving', we GIVE thanks."

Tai nodded tiredly with a husky puff from her lips. "Yeah. Like I said, you guys have a really over-complicated naming scheme."

"I think it's rather...romantic." Ari argued with a light smile on his face.

The Octoling received the statement and returned the favor with a slug to Ari's arm.

"Ow!" He complained, then attempted to clear his throat in a dignified manner. "Steady my brush hand!"

"You mind not hitting on me tonight?" Tai crossed an arm around her uniform. "You're scaring Splin and I."

"I meant 'romantic' in the thematic sense!" Ari argued as he rubbed his right arm.

Splin frowned, befuddled by her curiously empathetic tone. Admittedly, he was not the greatest fan of Ari, although Tai backing him up as if she knew was quite the surprise.

She continued. "I get that the holiday's whole point is to scare people, but show a little restraint, yeah? Be nice."

Splin and Ari's jaws would have dropped, though Splin felt that would be difficult what with his status of simple blue squid.

As if Ari hardly wished to relinquish his dignity, he turned his nose up the hill with a flustered orange glow upon his cheeks. "...Let's make it to that haunted house, shall we?"

He continued ahead, or sprinted uphill to be precise. Tai had a triumphant smirk on her face. The Octoling leaned down towards Splin and gave him a wink, though whatever secret she promised with her natural, yet sinister violet and green palette dabbed on her expression was lost on the confused Splin.

Regardless of that, Sharq had a frown deep with disapproval underneath his Takoroka Mesh. "Tai…"

"What?" She gave an indignant glare back at him.

"Ari missed you too." He explained clearly, a frown place on his face.

Tai's features shouted misunderstanding. "He did? Why?"

"Uh, well," Sharq shrugged with his other arm, "Didn't we have like a whole adventure where you two got really friendly with each other? Like, REALLY friendly?"

The Octoling blinked blankly again as if the words passed straight through her.

"...Dating friendly?" Sharq suggested with a raise of his finger.

Tai's further blank stares hardly did Sharq any favors. Splin felt like he should shut his eyes and pretend he fell asleep, anything to distance himself from the lot of them. He did not however, instead his wandering gaze traveled up the hill. A flash of orange reeled back from the top as he scanned the paramount of the grassy mound. Guilt flushed into him as he stayed wrapped in the two's arms.

"...Well, whatever." Tai continued to walk up as wind blew past her tentacles. "I'm sure he'll be fine."

Sharq hardly had a choice but to follow with a small sigh. As he walked, he glanced down to Splin, who mirrored his expression with his eyes. They climbed further past rolls and rolls of grass dyed a dark green by the lack of sunlight. They continued for quite some time until they reached Ari on the top. He sat on the ground and leaned on his Inkbrush; he stared straight down at the grass with a furrowed brow and a heavy heart.

Upon glancing up and noticing the others, Ari started panicking. "Aha!" He jolted upwards and sheathed his Inkbrush behind his back with the shiniest, completely inconspicuous smile he could manage. "Greetings! I've uh...yet to find the house you've mentioned."

The grass whistled in front of Tai's shined School Shoe. She halted just upon the crest of the hill with a reluctant glare as Ari smiled back at them. Discontent on her face, she slowly turned over towards the brothers. Each Inkling gave their own, uninformed expression as an answer.

Tai turned her face with an air of sloppy arrogance. "Yeah, don't worry about it. We'll find it."

Ari appeared to shrink somewhat as if the any pride or ego in his person had drifted out and deserted him. "...Okay…"

Splin and Sharq gawked at the lovebirds' in the midst of their clearly intimate affairs and could not help but follow along as Tai marched ahead and ditched the orange Inkling. Their stares at Ari hardly faltered, but his stance certainly did. The teenager dropped down to his knees onto the grass below, forlorn as his Inkbrush fell from his brown belt on his back down with a soft clatter on the grass.

Sharq almost tripped over the sheer emotional fog draped over the air. As he stumbled about and re-balanced himself, he turned his head to the Octoling on his right. "...Are you okay?"

As if a switch had flicked on in her head, she did the same and smiled. "Course. We're still on the whole, 'Cheer Splin' thing, right?"

Sharq nodded with a new, uncertain slowness in his head. All the while at their sides, Splin's tentacle slowly unfastened from Tai's arm as he squinted at her just as suspiciously. The Octoling ignored their ganders and continued to push forward.

At least she tried to, as their physical bond of tentacle and arm felt like glue and anchors when she attempted to escape herself. Tai shut her eyes. "...That's what you want, huh?"

"...What?" Splin tilted his head.

She dropped his right tentacle much to Splin's surprise. Flopping down on the earth, Splin switched to an Inkling and reached up. His headphones still fit snug around his neck as did his brother's arm around his own.

"Sharq." Splin frowned and tugged at his limb.

His older brother said naught a word. Sharq simply smiled and placed his free hand on his cheek. "Aww… That's sweet!"

Splin followed his gaze. Though dark, he could make out Tai a few steps away. She took a seat up on the grass besides Ari and nudged him with her elbow. He turned, quite eagerly, his orange tentacles glowing with a healthy fervor.

" _...What is she saying?"_ Splin wondered as he laid on the grass and stretched his legs gingerly across the dirt. _"If she's trying to cheer up Ari, I can only imagine how that-"_

A shout of triumph reverberated up into the air. "Your words envelop me in courage!"

"Oh." Splin's head tilted down.

"Looks like they're getting along again!" Sharq hummed pleasantly.

"Yeah." Splin pushed off the ground and stood up in the direction of the remaining hills. "Let's get going. The sooner we get through with this-"

"Wait, really?!" Sharq's eyes twinkled, as if Splin could not grow more unnerved around his brother.

"...I doubt I'll have much of a choice." Splin shrugged and switched back into a blue squid. "I'll try and find the haunted house."

Sharq's time to be weary had dawned. His grip on Splin was iron.

"...You can follow if you want." Splin told him firmly as he plucked his tried to pluck his tentacle free

"Okay!" He leaned in closely.

His older brother leaned up on his shoulders, Splin shook his head. "This better be the last Squidoween I have to stomach."

* * *

Ann-Gel figured it out quicker than she would have hoped. Enthusiasm and drive did wonders. For a regular sized squid.

Turned out that a trophy could only make it so far in the world. Ann-Gel trudged through the grass, irritated by each time her black base snagged on a blade of grass. Her friends, at the very least, kept the same short distance. It was mildly reassuring.

Knowing that all of them were equally, naturally terrible at traveling.

Ann-Gel watched as Salty hopped fruitlessly through the grass in the direction where the cube's strobe lights danced. A few of the odd spines from his shell caught on the grass from time to time. After a few minutes of that, the two shared the same regard; it was clear to both of them that travel was going to be a challenge.

"...This is impossible." They heard a beep from their side.

They swiveled in place towards the beep. The alarm clock shuffled through the grass. Tediously, it lifted one side of itself up and out. It alternated from its left side to its right side in its waddles, only to succeed in a few cumbersome steps.

The electronic beep equivalent of a groan emanated from the black box. "If it wasn't hopeless before, it sure is now!"

Ann-Gel pouted and placed her hands on her hip. "Clock, we've only been walking a few minutes."

"How would YOU know?" The clock pivoted in the grass.

The amiibo inspected the alarm clock's display with a scrutinized face. Ann-Gel nodded at the numbers as they glowed on the black screen. "Dude, the better question is how would you know?"

"I'm a clock, in case you haven't noticed." Irritably the alarm clock chirped.

"But your screen is-" Ann-Gel paused for a moment. "Ah, whatever. Guys, it's just a little walk, it's not going to krill us."

The alarm clock's numbers shifted and flashed as if it were to frown. It pivoted back around, then blared with a tremendous noise. "Oh you've GOT TO BE-"

Ann-Gel and Salty turned around as well. Their eyes widened. The Bate house stood tall above them, the front door swung open a good three feet away.

"It's been ten BLEEEEEPING-" The alarm clock honked enraged, "TEN MINUTES, AND WE'VE MADE IT A FEW STEPS AWAY! HOW ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIC!"

"This would be a lot easier if we had legs." Salty added with a small shiver.

Ann-Gel scowled at the other objects and nodded her head to below her torso. Salty felt a bead of sweat drip down its pale blue face when it spied her two peach legs pasted onto her meager podium.

"...Longer legs?" The snail quivered within its crystal carapace as it suggested through its own timidness.

"This has been a waste of time!" Dinged the alarm clock furiously. "We're getting nowhere no time, trophy!"

"Hey!" Ann-Gel objected as she turned, her plastic tentacles stagnant in place around her noggin. "It's not my fault we weren't made for walking!"

"Ugh." The alarm clock bleeped hotly as it bobbed itself back in a retreat. "This was a mistake. Maybe I'll make it back for the morning news at least."

Ann-Gel threw her hands up in the air. Seconds into performing the gesture, she folded her arms together tight and checked her arms cautiously. "What do you want us to do, grow wings?"

"...Wings." She repeated abruptly as she made certain her hands stayed glued to her arms.

Ann-Gel twisted towards Salty with her lips pursed and her arms folded behind her back. The snail blinked and its tiny black lines that counted for eyes crawled across its face slowly and nervously.

"...Hi?" The snail rattled restlessly. "...Ann-Gel, what's wrong?"

Forthwith Ann-Gel's guilt flooded into her for what she was about to propose. With a sharp inhale through her synthetic squid teeth, she asked mellowly, "Salty...you wouldn't happen to know how to find that seagull friend of yours, would you?"

His thin optics thinned substantially more so. "...Wh-What?"

* * *

Across time and space but specs away in the grand scheme of the dimensional planes, the brothers and the others traveled across very similar hills, and unlike the party of miniatures made haste.

Where they were headed exactly was still out of their reach.

Four sets of teenager irises from brown, orange and violet scanned the hallowed night hopefully. A reluctant Octoling in a skirt could be seen through the moonlight walking convenient to a tall orange Inkling, the two huddled close as the wind chill began to stir shivers in the two of them. At least, it seemed that way to Ari, who hovered around Tai with multiple shivers seemingly directed towards the Octoling. She seemed like she hardly noticed. The Bate Brothers ahead of them glared through the icy draft, the duo also stacked in a small huddle.

Eventually, the lack of jackets seemed to have taken their toll. The quartet all interrupted their own strides with a skid in the grass. Each glimpsed each other with a sort of shared, mental reconciliation. The lot of them switched into squids (and an octopus) and skittered across the round land over towards one another. As they positioned themselves in an enclosed box shape, they each reverted into Inklings (and an Octoling) and cozily stood bunched together.

"...Two steps forward, one step…" Splin muttered to himself at the head of the minuscule mob. "At least I can move my arms."

"Hmm!" With a pleased expression, Sharq did his best to corral the group as close as he could. "That's better."

Ari hardly said a word, but looked extremely pleased with his proximity to the octopus. He extended his left arm around her shoulders slowly from behind. At best, his arm managed to reach behind her neck before she snapped around to meet the appendage with a very disapproving glare.

"...For warmth!" Ari offered with an incredulous stare.

"...I'm not cold, thanks." Tai brushed his arm away and stared ahead.

"...Right." He blinked and retracted his arm back by his own side.

As he attempted to maintain posture, suddenly another arm "...But if I was, then I wouldn't mind."

Tai raised his arm above her head and around her own neck; she nestled her head back in the plumes of white fur that celebrated about Ari's sleeve. As her tentacles draped about his arm, a slow yet steady flush of orange smeared itself across Ari's face as if he was smacked with an Inkbrush. A smirk appeared on his face to boot.

The brothers peeped back at them peculiarly. Sharq's ever intransigent beam upon his profile could have been spotted glowing from Inkopolis miles in the distance. Even Splin managed a miniature simper, much more discreetly.

However covert his smile may have been, his brother tilted his Takoroka Mesh up towards the stars and smiled back at him. "They're cute, aren't they?"

"What?" Splin glanced up with a frown. "...I guess?"

A convulsion vibrated among the group. The males looped about and spied Tai. She shivered somewhat and eyed Ari with a type of antipathy with the one eye unprotected by the short tentacles that draped down her head underneath her Squid Hairclip.

"...Something wrong, Tai?" Ari inquired and gripped her shoulders a bit tighter.

Splin glanced at the couple worriedly. _"Oh no."_

All at once, Tai's lavender pupil aimed itself towards Splin. Her uninterrupted gaze started to send extra shivers up his debatable existing spine. She sighed, a puff of warm air escaped from her mouth. "...Nah, sorry. Just keep doing what you're doing."

Splin spun back around to the front and joined in with a sigh of his own, relief clear in his huff. "That just leaves the haunted house. I feel like we've been walking for hours."

Hey, writing takes time you know.

"I wish I knew what you meant by that." Splin shrugged his shoulders almost systematically.

Patience is a virtue.

"Yeah, says you." Splin scowled and stared higher towards the heavens. "We're down here in who knows how little degrees while you're… You know what, I don't even think voices can feel cold."

You'd be surprised, young Splin.

"What's this now?" Ari peered skywards as well with a squint. "Who are you talking to? ...Do you have some imperceptible connection with a deity above?!"

"...More like a nagger." The younger Inkling muttered. "Anyone see a house yet?"

"Uh," Sharq chattered absentmindedly while he surveyed the black and blue night as well as mildly regret they did not bring jackets, "...Ooh! There's something!"

"What?" The entire company swiveled towards Sharq.

He gazed straight ahead into the nothingness. "Look! One of those hills is bluer than the others!"

"Are you squiddle kiddle- Kidding me right now?!" Splin fumbled his words, but the way the tentacles wrapped together on top of his head bristled said enough. That he was angry. "Sharq, focus! House. Haunted. Skeleton in front."

Sharq chuckled to himself. As he had his own little hee-haw, Sharq hoisted his head up. A light of amazement crossed his eyes. "Oh! Like that one."

Splin rolled his eyes with displeasure. He reached for his headphones and pulled them up towards his triangular ears. "Yeah. Like I'm falling for-"

"Clack click clack."

"...No." Splin frowned as his blue eyebrows descended. "Impossible."

Sharq's incoming words just made him groan excessively. "Hi there, skeleton!"

Splin turned around with the one of the greatest stony expressions of all time. As he swiveled about in the brown dirt under his Orange Arrows, he spun around…

AND SAW A SKETCHING SKELETON!

"..." Splin's expression might have screamed nobody home had it not been for the fact that he was rubbing his temples. His tentacles drooped low despite being uplifted by the band on his tentacles.

In front of the squadron of equally surprised cephalopods, a single white bipedal fossil gazed back at the group soullessly. As well as skin-lessly. Regardless of the lack of any other biological body parts, the skeleton seemed to have quite the riot in the middle of nowhere in front of its mansion.

A patch of brown dirt rounded about the very tall and decayed mansion. Several windows sat shattered, wood walls split and peeling, and the roof could have competed with the Bate household in terms of hole size. There happened to be one titanic gap blown in the roof, several wood planks stuck out and jutted in directions bizarre to the Inkling eye.

"...Click." The skeleton's...eye sockets narrowed at them suspiciously.

"...I can't believe it." Splin pronounced in a monotone. "...Hi skeleton."

As the skeleton stared back at them almost as incredulously as Ari at the back did at it, Splin inspected the house. There appeared to be irreparable damage wreaked across the dwelling, everything except for burns…

Splin gazed back at the skeleton and attempted a friendly smile. Although it appeared as though his expression made the fifteen-year old Inkling look like he was about to sell the skeleton really late insurance, he stuck his hand out and said, "H-How have you been?"

Much to his surprise, the skeleton took his hand in a polite shake, stared up at him and uttered, "Click!"

* * *

As squids and octopus did the graveyard dance elsewhere across the hill range, a very reluctant sea snail sitting still sighed. "I really don't like this."

"I know you don't, man." Ann-Gel exhaled slowly. "Trust me, this was the last thing I wanted to do."

"...Okay." Salty shook restlessly. "But is the butter necessary?"

Ann-Gel huffed as she splattered a glob of tan, yellow spread onto Salty's shell. She rubbed the butter in around the spines. "We need to make you look appetizing."

"Appetizing? Ha!" A harsh chime resonated along the roof.

"Oh, great." Ann-Gel scowled and shook her head. She turned around, "What now?"

She glared across the flat, wooden housetop. By the wooden railing, a newspaper stood upright. The wind brushed past and pushed the top half of the paper down and revealed the rest of the border around the roof. Another gust of wind pushed the paper to the floor and revealed a very uncharismatic alarm clock. The time visible on the clock: "11:30".

"What are you doing?" She demanded as she undertook the harsh job of wiping off the butter from arms and hands.

"Trying to figure out why those two have a newspaper from eight decades ago." The alarm clock spoke up. It pushed itself off of the papers and let them flap off into the sky as the breeze took them to the corners of the earth. "By the way, Salty hardly looks worthy of eating in the slightest."

"...You don't even have a mouth, you know!" Ann-Gel called back at the clock.

"Don't need one for judging." It argued as it followed the newspapers as they drifted off with its screen.

Ann-Gel huffed as she watched the papers fly off into the great beyond. "Splatastic. Now that you've got your whole, 'demean Ann-Gel' stuff outta the way, mind helping me?"

"...No." The alarm clock refused with a stubborn ring.

Ann-Gel took a step forward and left Salty to glaze in the cool butter. She looked extraordinarily irritated. "...Why not?"

"Hmm, oh, I'm sorry." The alarm clock sounded with a tone. "I seem to have misplaced my butter handling hands."

"Okay," Ann-Gel fumed. Against all odds, her plastic tentacles started to tremble, "Then do me a solid."

There came a sort of exhale in the form of a huff. The merry couple continued to argue in the corner, ceaselessly while Salty continued to baste in the wads of butter rubbed onto it. Salty absentmindedly glanced up at the sky for little other reason than boredom.

Above it was a sight enough to make any denizen low on the food chain feel fear. Circling above was the unmistakable gray and white feathers, black tail feathers and yellow beak and legs. Although, in the dark, it just looked like a clump of black and blue sludge decided to take an evening flight.

Regardless, the bloodcurdling sight incited Salty into another bout of shivers. "Uh, guys?"

"And another thing, just because you're the alarm clock doesn't mean you have to micromanage us!" Ann-Gel bickered as she shuffled closer.

The familiar, awful sounds of bird cries began to fill the air. Salty started to hop. "A-Ann-Gel, are we going to do the plan?"

The alarm clock wore an appalled "expression". "I am literally built to do that!"

"GUYS!" Salty squeaked urgently as it hopped up and down again and again.

"What?!" The two spun around-

A gull dive bombed into Salty. Clock and trophy gasped as the seagull pecked mercilessly at the snail, now turned on its face. The barrage lasted for a full second as the seagull fruitlessly bashed its beak into the hardened shell. Salty hopped up and smacked the seagull with the back of its shell, much to its surprise, the seagull backed away with an offended squawk.

The group heard another, provoked squawk. "Agh, that shell! That SHELL! There isn't even a scratch! Why isn't there a scratch, what type of garbage is this?!"

"Salty!" Ann-Gel called out fearfully.

Salty righted himself back in place, dizzily glancing at its predator. Its eyes widened. "You?!"

The seagull squawked, and if it had a grasp on the English language, would probably have meant, "...We meet again, LUNCH!"

"...Lunch?" Ann-Gel whispered in confusion.

The alarm clock generated a low beep noise and a deadpan expression with one of its eleven's '1's. "About as good a name as 'Salty'."

"Do you know...how HUNGRY I'VE BEEN?!" The bird cried in anguish. "I spent day and night trying to take you somewhere appetizing and each time I've tried and failed? Well, you know what-"

Salty's eyes squinted in bewilderment. "Hold on, what?! But you're still alive! You have to be eating something else!"

The bird glared down at Salty with a denouncing expression. "Stupid snail! I eat garbage too!" Mentioned the seagull as it puffed out its wings.

"Euugh." Salty recoiled, as butter dripped off its shell, and hopped back.

The seabird cawed and shook its beak in offense. "I'm a seagull, that's normal! Is it so wrong to treat myself to some regular luxuries like snail once in a while?!" The seagull readied its beak.

If Salty could develop any paler, the snail would have been translucent. "...I'm a luxury food?"

"Whoa, wait!" Ann-Gel cried out as she reached at the bird with her right hand. "Can we talk for a moment?"

The seagull froze in place and cocked its head oddly towards her. Ann-Gel shut her mouth for a moment, took up a stride, and dragged herself on her podium towards the bird. Perplexed, the bird continued to stare at the amiibo as she hurried towards the bird around the hole in the roof.

The bird took it upon itself to perch on top of Salty as she walked by, still with a wary scrutiny of the amiibo. Salty's eyes practically pleaded to her as though it placed his life in her hands. Though, in reality, its gamble was probably limited to his impenetrable shell's quality at the end of the day.

Ann-Gel gulped. Talking to a bird was hardly in her expertise. "Alright, I get that you might be hungry." She paused and bit her lip. "...I get it, people get...hungry."

An electronic chuckle buzzed through the air. "Right, **people** get hungry."

Ann-Gel began to regret not taking at least one of the clock's batteries. She continued, "I think we can work something out though, you get me? Uh, we can get food for you downstairs. Right?"

She stared at her companions. The alarm clock looked completely indifferent as it sat and observed the bird towered above them all. Ann-Gel swiveled towards Salty. The snail nodded, and while it shook the seagull slightly, the bird had yet to be phased by the snail.

"So, right. We'll get you food, but we need you to do a favor for us." Ann-Gel offered with a cheery smile. "Does...that sound okay?"

There was a sustained peace in the air. Ann-Gel gulped, (somehow) the alarm clock continued to tick the seconds past disinterested, all the while Salty prayed to whatever snail god watched upon the world.

"Cross my hearts." Ann-Gel reassured the seagull, but frowned, and glanced down to her chest. "Er, yeah."

The seagull cocked its head to its potential meal underneath, and with a very bewildered chirp, "...Did...that plastic just talk?"

"Pffff!" The alarm clock chattered, the numbers flashed, and the laugh rang out through the air for quite some time.

Ann-Gel rolled her eyes and started for the stairs but not before she turned back towards the seagull expectantly. "So is that a 'yes' or a 'no'?" As she inquired, her platform twisted around, and Ann-Gel retired for the trapdoor down into the shack below.

She hopped through the square hole down onto the stairs and shut behind her and left the others high up on the roof, with one attentive bird. The seagull glanced down at Salty. The snail stayed motionless, almost dead in a sense. On the inside, the snail was panicking, a foreboding feeling of dread whirling about in its shell. The seagull's eyes narrowed down, trained on Salty's shell with a voracious appetite. The gull spied the butter as it dripped down.

" _Please hurry."_ Salty shook as it shivered in a very appetizing manner to the seagull.

* * *

Sharq felt like he should be astounded. The sudden appearance of a pile of bones and a large, rickety house behind the group should have surprised them. ...It should have. His brother at his side, Tai and Ari in the back

"So," He tilted his Takoroka Mesh cap upwards, uncovered his eyes, and grinned at the skeleton eagerly, "How have you been?"

The skeleton might have blinked had its eye sockets been filled. A single upper jaw whistled involuntarily as the wind passed by. "Clack."

"That's good!" Sharq exclaimed with another smile.

The skeleton smiled, its one jaw curled up, the vertebrae simultaneously stretched into half of a grin. "Click," It hissed in what can only be assumed to be a friendly manner.

"...How wonderfully peculiar." Splin and Sharq found themselves parting out of the way as Ari stumbled in, his Inkbrush still stuck to his coat, fixed with a belt. "What are you?"

"Clack." The skeleton chattered as its head bobbed up and down its spine.

"'Clack', eh?" Ari spoke as he stared at the skeleton's empty rib cage. "How fascinating! I doubt I've ever seen anything like this."

"...A skeleton?" Splin suggested as he arched his eyebrow. "You've never seen a skeleton?"

Ari bit his lip. "...You mean like a building skeleton?"

"Oh, right." Splin frowned to himself. "You were shooed off that night."

"Didn't you ever learn about that stuff in school or something?" Challenged Tai from the very back.

Everyone stopped, swung back around, and greeted Tai with the exact same expression. Each Inkling displayed their own version of discomfort. Even the skeleton looked mildly uneasy and stepped back from the scene.

"...Whoa." The Octoling's eyes widened in surprise. Tai brushed a violet tentacle out of her right eye and stared at the entourage. "Well, ship. How come you guys didn't have to go?!"

Sharq managed an amateurish snigger. "Uh...I mean, I think we did once? I can't remember."

"It's a little difficult when you're left all by yourself." Splin rubbed the back of his head.

Ari huffed and crossed his arms. "It's all thanks to that rapscallion known as Ares! A fiend both in personality and parenting!"

"...Uh-huh." The Octoling muttered as the purple appendage above her face drooped back in front of one of her eyes. "...So, we gonna enter the house or what?"

"Tai!" Splin protested back at her.

"No buts, Splin." Tai spoke up with a smirk. "We're getting you in there, you're going to have a good time. Somehow."

"Why would the skeleton let me back into its house?" He confronted with a step towards Tai. "We nearly burned it down last time."

"...I dunno." Tai shrugged absentmindedly. "Why don't you ask the skeleton?"

Splin grimaced at her though Tai simply reciprocated with a innocent smile as if she had embraced the schoolgirl look. He spun around to meet the skeleton, who continued to patiently sketch in the soil below them all. The bony index finger the skeleton used dragged through the dirt and shaped lines into outlines. Soon the lines formed together into a cohesive picture, a profile Splin could recognize.

"Hey, Splin!" Sharq grinned and patted his brother on the back. "It's your costume from last year!"

Splin blinked in surprise. "Huh...you're right."

Scribbled in the dirt below was Splin. A younger, dressed up Splin. An eye-patch scrawled over his right eye, as well as details plastered over his left arm that gave the illusion of a metallic arm. A scarf draped across his neck and several small vests with bags strapped to them strapped around his body.

"Hmph." Ari stuck his nose up. "My debut of my costume in tandem with yours could've been enough to let the legend come back to life…"

"...What?" Splin inquired with a strange glare.

"Nothing." Ari waved him off.

Sharq hummed, impressed, down at the drawing. Glancing up at the house, with a single gasp, he took notice of the rest of the terra firma. "Whoa! Nice art!"

Tai, Ari and Splin took notice of the ground. Several sketches surrounded the mansion in the exposed dirt, and unless covered by grass, the ground was completely etched with various drawings.

"Huh." Splin commented, his eyes swept across the floor as he surveyed the ground.

One sketch caught his eye. Inscribed in the dirt by the metatarsals of the skeleton was a bizarre two-dimensional bird in the brown soil. It was plump, had large feathers, and a cowl that drooped from its neck.

"Ooh!" Sharq peeped the bird. "It even has a title!" He stooped down to the ground, "Thanksg-"

Sharq only made it so far until the skeleton took its fingers and swiped against the ground. The dust drifted over the drawing and covered it from beak to talon. The surviving evidence, a distinct "Thanks" was dusted over just as quickly. The skeleton grinned at the group reassuringly, much to their confusion.

"...Okay, so, no bird." Sharq spoke sheepishly. "That's cool."

"So...we gonna enter the house yet?" Tai asked with one hand fixed on her hip.

Splin pursed his lips. He tapped them, preoccupied, as he examined other sketches. "Er, I'd uh...rather...peruse this art gallery, if the skeleton doesn't mind."

The skeleton appeared to frown somewhat. It skeptically swiveled its skull head from side to side. Though his brother and chums behind him glared at him, he hardly cared whether he stalled or not. If anything, he could sympathize with the skeleton. He would not let a firebug back into his house.

...Wait.

Before the Inkling could analyze his thoughts, he heard another, "Click." Splin bent his head over towards the skeleton yet again, surprised as the skeleton spouted another "Clack."

At Splin's Orange Arrows, much to his surprise the skeleton was set on another spree of drawing. Sharq hummed in surprise, ducked down, and watched the cartoon come to life. "You think it's trying to tell us something?"

Tai and Ari's bodies morphed and waned into a violet octopus and an orange squid respectively. Everyone watched as the work of art materialized in the earth. First, a small skeleton.

"Clickety-click." The skeleton jabbed one finger towards its spine.

"...Congratulations." Tai muttered behind the Inklings.

Splin and Sharq shot a peculiar glance at her. She remained silent. The skeleton continued to sketch until a house quite similar to the one towered above them. Above the figure of the house, the skeleton sketched an object. It tapped its finger on the dirt pensively. A sigh-like noise escaped from the bones. After a short few seconds, a frustrated skeleton drew what looked like a square. Its ivory finger drew lines about the cube in the direction of the house. Finally, upon the roof of the house, it sketched in a hole.

The skeleton finished, gestured at the drawing, then up at the house. Sharq blinked, followed the gestures, and asked, "You want us to fix the hole in your roof?"

"...Click." If a skeleton could pout, it just did, and shake its head to boot.

"I'm sorry, I'm not good at picture charades!" Sharq insisted embarrassingly. Besides him, the skeleton simply crossed its bony arms over one another and sighed.

"...You want us to go inside?" Splin asked, hands in his shorts pockets.

The skeleton nodded eagerly, much to Splin's chagrin. "Clackety click!"

"There you go!" Tai shouted all of a sudden, gripped Splin's arms, and dashed for the mahogany doors of the estate. "Let's go inside!"

"Whoa!" Splin yelped, danced around the drawings in the dirt as best as he could what with the Octoling equivalent of a rocket ship dragging him off. "Tai, hold on!"

"Shell no!" She grinned, glanced back at the Inkling, all while she raced for the house. "Dude, this is perfect! An adventure for you!"

"Precisely!" Whooped Ari from across the dirt.

Splin arched an eyebrow amidst the chaotic run, his tentacles flapped throughout the dash, with one hand planted on his headphones. "Since when do you care so much?"

"...Since today!" Tai elucidated as her one free eye glinted slyly.

The skeleton watched them speed towards the mansion. All of a sudden, and without any logic whatsoever, its eye sockets expanded in panic. It sped over its own dirt drawings, "Clack!"

Sharq perked up curiously, "What's the matter?"

As the skeleton advanced through the flat canvas of brown the Inkling, though hardly a charades veteran, knew something was up. As if upon instinct, Sharq converted himself into a blue squid, much to the other squid's surprise.

"C'mon Ari!" Sharq called out as he bounded across the dirt with short squid hops.

Ari nodded and followed suit, transformed into an orange squid, and followed Sharq across the drawings. The duo and the skeleton followed after Splin and Tai up to the door. The young Inkling and the Octoling sprinted through, pushed open the doors, and lobbed themselves through.

Splin groaned as he fell face first onto the floor. He sniffed, pushed up and attempted to stand, only for the floor to quiver underneath him. His eyes widened. A sickening black charred scar ran across the wooden floor of the mansion lobby. Tai shook her head, stood up quickly enough, and glanced around.

"...So, how are you feeling Splin? Having fun yet?" She asked expectantly and glanced back at him, a wide smile curled across her face.

"Agh. Tai!" Grumbled Splin as he adjusted his headphones. He rose to his feet as his headphones stretched around his neck. "Be a little careful."

"..." She gazed back at him somewhat curiously. Eventually, she sighed and shook her head in defeat "...I'm sorry."

The words struck a chord within Splin. Eyes now wide open, he gawked at her. "...What?"

"...Sorry?" Tai repeated as she stared at him strangely.

Splin stood in place, astounded. As he stared at her, he noticed the doors behind them. Not to mention the company that sprinted towards them with no time to spare. The young male Inkling narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Splin!" Sharq shouted from outside and as he ran straight in. "The skeleton wants to tell you something!"

Several things happened at once. The skeleton reached out and clacked fearfully. Behind it Ari tried in vain to catch up with the group. Sharq jumped in. All the while, a paralyzed Splin stood in shock at the apologies Tai had flung at him.

The doors shut behind them with a resounding bang. Splin's trance was hardly deterred, nor was Tai's intimidating stare. They stood, both stagnant among ruined furniture, singed cobwebs, and a fragile floor.

The only one who stayed placid was Sharq. He turned to the doors, walked up, and rapped on it with the back of his fist. "Hey! Open up!"

There was a minor tremor. A bizarre, sickly small white light flashed in the room for a moment as if a light bulb had just shattered above them. The mansion appeared to vanish in the distance as they plummeted, the only remaining colors in the overwhelming black were the fleeting glimpses of each others' tentacles.

* * *

The seagull panted as it flapped slowly with clear fatigue. "Oh JEEZ!" Already the fries it had consumed prior to the flight felt like rocks.

Clasping the seagull's right foot, Ann-Gel managed to say, "You're doing great! Keep on flying!"

"This was a mistake!" Beeped the alarm clock. Ann-Gel stared down at her left hand, where she dangled the alarm clock precariously from her own grip. "Ugh! My circuits can't take this!"

"Deal with it, man!" Ann-Gel grunted as she held the leg tight. She glanced to her left. "Salty, are you doing okay?"

The snail clutched just as poorly in the seagull's left foot looked sick. The butter that dripped off the snail shell and the shaky hold the seagull had on its shell only made it look all the more pitiable. Ann-Gel nodded apologetically and gazed over towards the horizon.

"Ugh!" The seagull chirped as it flapped upwards. "Where is that 'light' you were talking about?!"

"Calm down, just wait for it!" Ann-Gel cried out to it.

"Wait for what?!" The seagull quacked tiredly as it swerved through the air almost dizzily.

The amiibo bit her lip. Ann-Gel searched out the long expanse of round hills ahead of them. As she scanned across the landscape, a glint caught her eye. She stared straight ahead. A weak shine, almost like a star, emanated from the grass. She narrowed her eyes and spied an estate.

Ann-Gel frowned as wind brushed past, her hard tentacles motionless in the air. "...There!" She pointed down towards the house.

Despite extra protests from the alarm clock, their pilot decided to go for it. The seagull dived down from the sky and aimed from the roof.

* * *

Splin felt the floor first and foremost. His eyelids fluttered open slowly. With a single blink, he shifted and stood up slowly but surely. At least he tried to, until both his aching body and gravity tag teamed him and dropped him back on the floor. The Inkling landed on his soft arm, grit his teeth, and gasped for breath.

Splin reached for his Designer Headphones. He gripped the gear around his neck with one hand and pushed with the other. For whatever reason, the ground felt more like stone than scorched wood and carpet. Regardless of the floor's true identity, he stood up slowly and slouched, his breath ragged.

He looked up. The ceiling appeared to be miles away. Morphing into a squid, Splin started trying to jump, only to fall back, into his Inkling identity, panting in the dark chamber.

The Inkling looked around. Stone walls surrounded him, a few converging into other stone paths. They were gray and drab. With a grunt, Splin stood up and leaned on one of the walls and began to walk. He led himself through corridors to the right, slowly but surely, with nothing but his own footsteps to accompany the silence.

He glanced about for some time as he followed a trail to nowhere. His eyes caught fuchsia. Splin gawked forward, through a long hallowed hall. At the end, small tidy shoes and violet tentacles departed from around a corner.

Splin reached out for Tai and called out. To his utter confusion, not a sound was released, not one that he could hear. Regardless, it seemed like the Octoling across the way heard him. She took off in a run. Bewildered, Splin sprinted as best as he could, and gave chase to the Octoling. He turned a corner to the left, only to enter another hall.

Tai gazed back at him eerily. The one Octoling stood in the middle of the hall and walked backwards. Her gaze never left Splin, up until she rounded another corner. Splin followed, the two's footsteps echoed throughout the quiet maze as they walked.

Splin rounded the corner, one hand on his headphones, another on the wall. He entered a large round chamber, several other open halls circled around them all. In the very center of the dark chamber, Tai stared back at him from the ground. She sat still and silent, one violet tentacle draped over her right eye.

He walked across the hall into the room. The several other halls echoed hollow whispers and decayed footsteps as he stumbled across. Splin walked up until he stood up in front of Tai. He gazed down at the Octoling.

"...Are you okay?" She asked innocently. "...You didn't have fun, did you?"

Splin glowered at her in confusion and concern. His vision was hazy from the fall and obscured with the dark.

"...I am...sorry" The woman spoke softly, one eye closed. A timid green light glowed about the chamber. "I'm sure she would be too if she were there"

Splin trembled in place. The green light glowed.

Her voice grew in maturity. A soft, maternal call. "I'm more worried about you."

He could not feel his hearts beating, nor could he see the true color of the speaker anymore. Splin continued to watch as his vision deteriorated.

"Tai is fine elsewhere. I'm sure she as well as...her...that woman is also safe where she is now. " The green light glowed somewhat reluctantly with a friendly smile. "Splin..."

He gazed at the light. It flashed ebony, an ominous, pale white. The familiar, warm female voice he had gotten so used to over the short time had vanished.

"Are you find with the life you never lived?" Whispered a voice unfamiliar to him. "The friends you never had? The adventures you never had?"

Splin grew dizzier and dizzier. The voice seemed to warp in pitch and tone as he became disorientated.

"The Maria who never existed to care? The Sharq who never existed to love? Answer yourself, Splin." The voice demanded in a tone and pitch synonymous to his own. "When are you going to wake up and kick away the ink? We need to know."

Splin fell to the floor tentacle first. His vision failed him.

"...No." His voice murmured. "I'm sorry, Splin. Perhaps later. Not now.

* * *

Above the mansion, the seagull was just about fed up with carrying around a bunch of misfit toys. It was hungry. It could eat anything. It could even eat the orange Inkling outside the mansion bashing the door down with a brush or something while shouting. As long as it tried hard enough.

Each flap of its wings was not painful, just tiresome. "Okay! Here's your roof!"

Ann-Gel stared down. A green light glowed from a hole in the mansion they hovered above. Salty and the alarm clock gazed down at the opening hesitantly. The sounds of mechanical malfunction, such as objects smashed within or eerie computer-like noises emanated from within.

"Thank you!" The amiibo called up to the bird. "Drop us in!'

As hungry and as exasperated as the seagull was, the seagull, upon one glance at the hole, started to flap backwards. "Wait, in there?"

"Yes!" Ann-Gel called up to the gull again.

The seagull hesitated yet again. With a groan, Ann-Gel looked straight down. They were so close to the hole, just above the entrance.

"I agree with the gull, actually!" The alarm clock beeped worriedly.

"Just let us go!" The trophy shrieked at the top of her lungs.

The seagull gladly obliged, it kicked both Ann-Gel and the alarm clock off, and flew off, using its newly freed right to grip its Super Sea Snail prize.

"Salty!" Ann-Gel's eyes went wide with fright.

The snail squeaked in fright as it was whisked off into the night sky. The seagull flapped away with a triumphant caw into the darkness. Ann-Gel's eye twitched. She wanted to reach out for the snail, but to no avail.

"...Oh no." The alarm clock made a low chime.

Ann-Gel turned around. Had her night already been going poorly, it was about to taste much more bitter for her. Within the dusty attic of the mansion, there sat a familiar object. Boxes and furniture were scattered about the loft in a circle. The Tele-Cube perched in the middle of the overturned objects. Its screens were all dull, with several green strips of code, emanating ominous quantities of green light.

"Subject successfully lulled in." A line fired off upon the screen. "'octoling_t41' simulation temporarily deleted. Evaluating physical and mental state of subject… Peculiar mental anomaly detected."

Ann-Gel dashed towards it clumsily with her pedestal anchored to the floor. "Cube!"

As she neared it, the cube flashed.

It screeched dangerously and another large line of text floated across the screen. "Anomaly detected. Will revert to original state."

A silent white light washed over the attic. Ann-Gel gasped, fell back, and gasped for air. It felt like she was being crushed by an invisible object, her breath fading from her.

She reached out for the alarm clock, which stood fixated in place. The clock scrutinized her as Ann-Gel reached out weakly. Her eyes brimmed with artificial tears.

"...It always has to be me, huh?" The alarm clock beeped bored.

The trophy watched helplessly as the alarm clock began to wobble towards the cube. Ann-Gel attempted to speak, but found her mouth fixed in place like stone. Soon enough, the alarm clock had managed to skulk its way over towards the cube. The cube emitted yet another white light; Ann-Gel's eyes going wide with fear as it washed over both her and the alarm clock.

"Error." A large line extended across the front screen. "Entity anomaly detected. Unable to revert."

"Can't fix what isn't broken." The alarm clock beeped.

Though she felt the life squeeze right out of her, Ann-Gel tried in vain to yell at the alarm clock angrily, if not but for the sake of her irritation.

"...You know, I was always jealous of you." The clock beeped irritably. It glanced back towards the amiibo. She laid on the floor, frozen with an expression of fear. "Being able to do all of that dimension hopping nonsense on a whim."

As if confused, the cube continued to send light-wave after light across the room. Several confused chirps, beeps, and blinks resonated from out of the box.

"But you know, for all your technology, you're pretty darn fragile." The alarm clock smirked on its screen.

The Tele-Cube screeched at it the alarm clock. Several sides opened and revealed several deadly devices, such as saws, blades,

"...At least I know I'm a better noise maker than you." The clock chimed, hopped up, and sounded off as yet another bright light flooded the house.

* * *

Sharq woke up with a start as a warm light buzzed across the house. "Gah! I'm awake!"

The Inkling reached over for his roller as per the norm. He frowned and grasped at the floor, and expected anything to knock off the incessant chatter and beeps of the alarm. This time however, he grasped what felt like skin.

"Ah!" Came a fragile gasp.

Sharq blinked in shock. The familiar sound of his brother's voice seemed to snap him back into reality. "Splin?! The skeleton! Doors! The floor- Uh."

In the corner of the house lobby by the doors, Sharq's younger brother gazed back at him. He shivered and shook, fear bright in his eyes. His headphones were folded in his lap.

"...What's wrong? Splin?" Sharq asked politely as he walked.

He did not anticipate his response. "S-Stay away from me!"

Sharq recoiled in surprise. "...Splin?"

His brother stared down at the floorboards. "...How do I know…"

"Splin!" Sharq called out again.

"How do I know that you're-!" Splin cried out at him. His brother stood over him, the shade of his Takoroka Mesh obscured his face. "Real?"

Sharq stepped back in surprise. His brother continued to curl up on the floor away from him. Despite his speech, a small smile managed to pop up on Sharq's face. "...Splin."

His younger brother glanced to the side, away from Sharq. The elder Bate reached out to his junior counterpart slowly. Splin edged away.

"...It's fine." Sharq cooed as calmly as possible. "You're fine."

Splin gritted his teeth and attempted to shut his eyes. Regardless of his efforts, they were all for naught. Sharq reached over with his arm and rested his hand on his younger brother's shoulder. Splin flinched, his pupils shrunk, and his breathing accelerated.

Then the waterworks came. Though he shut his eyes, the azure drops leaked through the lids and onto the floorboards slowly but surely. Splin's tears started to stain the floor somewhat and his breaths slowly grew into sobs. Sharq responded by wrapping his arms around his brother and squeezing, his head resting on Splin's shoulder.

"I'm here." Sharq murmured delicately. "Whatever happened, it's fine."

Splin stuffed his face into his White Anchor Tee's sleeve. Though small blue spots emerged on his shirt, Sharq hardly minded.

"I think that's enough haunted house, huh?" Sharq smirked. He stood up and Splin, still in his brotherly grasp, stood up in addition with his headphones in his right hand. "C'mon. Let's leave."

Splin could only nod in an ashamed demeanor as he dried his face of tears. The brothers took one step towards the set of shut doors.

"ABYSMAL BODY BLOW!" A voice proclaimed as sonorous as the owner of the said voice could scream.

The doors smashed open as a brown boot smashed them in. They swung open, much to the brothers' surprise. At the entrance, a very exhausted Ari with frizzled orange tentacles stood with one foot poised in the air for a kick where the doors once stood closed. Outside the skeleton chattered excitably behind him.

"...Ha HA!" Ari shouted as the doors swung open. He shut his eyes and placed his hands on his hips proudly. "No mortal door is a match for Ari Dark!"

"...Good night Ari." Splin sighed as he and Sharq walked out past the teenager.

Ari blinked once and glanced inside of the mansion. "...Er, wait! Where did Tai go?"

The blue duo paused in place. They glanced at one another, Sharq with a look as confused as Ari, Splin with sort of a tired, melancholy desperation. Finally, Splin managed to say, "She needed to do something...she left."

Ari's mouth gaped open in shock. "B-But- Oh…" He simply shook his head and gazed at the ground miserably.

"...You want to come with us?" Sharq asked politely with a cursory glance at Splin. His younger brother just nodded solemnly as they took off.

Sadness vanished from Ari's semblance as he dashed over, gripped them by the shoulders and shouted, "I am honored!"

As the Inklings, all worn down and relatively miserable stalked off to wherever, they heard a click sound from behind them. They all spun around and were greeted by an upset skeleton. It pointed up to the mansion roof.

"...You fixed it? Nice. Sorry again, Happy Squidoween." Splin managed to rattle off morosely as they all retreated slowly across the hills.

The skeleton looked almost appalled. It turned back to the roof only to hop back in surprise. Where there once was a hole, it was now patched like new, and so was the rest of the house. The mansion looked glorious. The skeleton raised an index finger, glanced back at the Inklings, then back to the mansion.

I wouldn't question it.

The pile of bones either sighed or let a gust of wind pass through its skull. It simply skulked back to its dirt pile, took a seat, and waved at the Inklings as it and its mansion dissipated into nothingness.

* * *

Ann-Gel grunted. She felt stiff. Stiff, yet conscious. The amiibo stood up slowly from her pedestal and glanced around.

She was back in the house. The Bate house, standing upon the kitchen table, to be exact.

A crackle noise sounded off from behind her. Dismay crossed her face as she swiveled around. The Tele-Cube glared at her from the counter next to the stove. Ann-Gel stood, frozen in place, as she waited for whatever sorcery the box had. Instead of any destruction, she was greeted with a simple line.

"'Standby mode'." She read aloud as she gazed at the screens.

"You're welcome." Came a calm chime.

Ann-Gel turned around. She squeaked in surprise and hopped away from the alarm clock that had stood up behind her for who knew how long.

She stammered, "W-What?"

"You were right. Look at that." The alarm clock gave a smug beep.

Ann-Gel, taken aback, walked a step forward on her pedestal. "...What do you mean? What did you do?"

"I snapped the cube out of its nightmare." Expressed the alarm clock with a smug "12:00" on the front of its screen.

Without warning, Ann-Gel hugged the clock's screen with an excited, "Thank you so much!"

"...Don't mention it." The clock murmured as it shook her off almost immediately. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have my own beauty standby mode to get back to."

Ann-Gel simply smiled as the clock hopped off of the table, onto a small seat, and onto the floor. It continued to hobble off towards the wooden dresser in-betwixt the brothers' beds. As the clock walked, she glanced over at the cube. It laid in its own bizarre sleep, with naught a program of murder in its mainframe, peacefully sleeping. She sighed in relief.

" _...I feel like we're forgetting something."_ Ann-Gel scowled suddenly.

* * *

Above Inkopolis, a drowsy seagull half-asleep circled above the city. In the clutches of the gull, a solitary Super Sea Snail watched as the lights in the city started to dim with the night as it gave way to early morning. Salty blinked away melted slabs of butter that dripped into its shell and sighed.

"...At least Katelyn didn't wash me in butter." Salty muttered in its own language of shakes and coos.

* * *

AN: Well I already screwed up the upload dates. I'm a little proud of this chapter regardless, to be honest. It's the longest one yet, with thirty pages in Docs and over 10,000 words. Although I'm sure those words were spent on writing the author's note, amirite? ...So there's that. I'm a bit embarrassed that I got it late for both Halloween and Thanksgiving, so I hope that Black Friday works.

EDIT: I was also late for Black Friday because I wanted to post this at a decent time frame the day after. Grand.

I feel like I wanted to say more while I was writing this, but I'll just settle for thanks. Thanks CathyMirii, Rynowm, write n wrong, and sebastian G for reviewing, as well as Dread Angel and Ultrapyre!

* * *

I apologize if the Maria chapter was a little much, but thank you for enjoying it Cathy.

It's true that Splin is becoming more melancholy, and… Yeah. I can't say that it's good, but what with Faded Colors and Squiddily Sage, I do believe his future is still colorful enough.

Ari's costume was actually inspired by the very character that I wanted to base his more recent archetype on, Owain from Fire Emblem Awakening. What with them both being fans of the theatrical, I thought it would fit.

If I'm being completely honest, Rit and Bas originally were just the rally girls for Ari. However, I felt like having these characters in this story just for that purpose was pretty silly.

So I made them graffiti artists! It's certainly a pleasure to hear that someone likes the advancements I made for the characters.

I wanna thank you for checking out my Super Smash Bros story, too. Not often that a friend takes the time out of their schedule to go.

Thank you again, Mirii from Inkinators.

* * *

Rynowm, I hope the randomness worked out for you. Always a pleasure to be a little diverse yet cliché in the settings. It's fun to write about those.

* * *

write n wrong I do hope that your expectations were met this chapter. Happy holidays!

* * *

sebastian G, I wouldn't go that far, but I appreciate your input as always. Goodness, being compared to Leonardo DiCaprio, I would have never thought it that. ...It might be a bit of an overstatement, but thank you anyways.

* * *

Thanks both Dread Angel and Ultrapyre for your lovely stories and writing! You guys keep doing what you're doing, I really appreciate those.

* * *

Phew. Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to feed the Phish, see you!


	65. Splin's Odd New Acquaintance

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

" **You're an Odd One"**

There was a small pause between gasps for breath as Sharq vigilantly focused upon the mop of blue ahead. Tentacles planted and suctioned to the soft, clean wood held him aloft over the floor, although the chair beneath him had the potential to support his squid body easily. A curious, furtive, and distressed glare aimed at him as he worked.

Silence in the Bate household persisted except for few sounds. The sound of wind as it whistled through the canopy of the house. Light creaks of wood. The electronic sound of beeps and dings as Splin tapped at a screen.

Splin's eyes had bags underneath his Inkling signature black outline. His shoulders were hunched over and his eyes remained still in the same position as he stared down at the box.

The Tele-Cube sat patiently as fingers pressed at its face. Ann-Gel morosely glanced at the opening above at the sky with her face pressed in between her hands guiltily. Four spheres coated in red and white bobbed back and forth on the counter table as he tapped away at the screen.

Still stuck in his squid form Sharq bobbed his head up slowly and carefully across the table as he glowered at his brother. It was at this point he cleared his throat, swung himself up onto the table, and asked, "So...what are you doing?"

Splin hardly turned his head and pet the spheres. "Returning these to their rightful owner."

Sharq glanced up at the ceiling. "...Maria?"

His brother's finger hovered over the screen unsteadily as he shook his head. "Her kids."

"Ah." Sharq nodded slowly but surely. "Uh, do you want to go out later?"

"I'd love to, but I'm sort of busy here, Sharq." Splin muttered without even a cursory glance at his brother.

Sharq peered up at the ceiling morosely. "That's just cruel Splin."

"What is?" Splin asked in between taps.

"C'mon," The older brother switched into an Inkling with a bright smile, "Let's go out. It's almost Squidmas. We can pity ourselves with self-bought presents!"

"Sharq, really," Splin began with his hand hovering above the screen, "This is important."

"So is Squidmas!" Sharq argued with an indomitable grin. He reached for his brother's shoulder. "C'mon, we'll just leave for an hour, then-"

"I said I'm BUSY SHARQ!" Splin shouted as he twisted his head towards him.

His rapid movement spurred his hand into an unfortunate incident. His index finger jabbed the Tele-Cube's clean light-blue screen. A flash of light emerged which startled the brothers and snapped Ann-Gel out of her doldrums.

"Wah?!" She hummed in shock.

As if they all shared an instinctive reflex, Splin, Sharq, and Ann-Gel dives for cover. Ann-Gel squeaked, however, as she found herself spiral off of the table towards the ground in a precariously, potentially painful bounce.

Instead she smacked into the back of Splin's head and caused him to yelp. "Gah!"

"Sorry!" She squeaked as she rolled down the back of his tentacles.

The lot of them, including an irritated Splin, planted themselves to the floor in their squid personas. Ann-Gel remained looking as Inkling as ever with her shoes firmly embedded into her black pedestal.

They waited for the incoming storm of horrors the cube had in store. For about five seconds. A chime emerged. A confused trio of squids rose to their feet somewhat reluctantly and glanced at the counter-top. Where a cube once sat a new toaster oven in its place.

Splin suddenly started to shake. "...No."

Splin reached for the microwave. One quivering finger graced a flat keypad next to the empty rectangular chamber. It pressed against a five.

A sentence scrawled across the flat screen above the keypad. "OUT OF ORDER."

The Inkling stood still in front of the stagnant, deactivated toaster oven, the silence permeating the room. As tensions brewed in the room she skedaddled to the side of the bottom of the counter reluctantly.

Sharq retracted his arm and turned away from his brother. He frowned back at his sibling. "Splin..."

The Tele-Cube's screen switched back to its original spectrum of colors. Despite the flashiness of its screen the buzzes it made were nothing less than uncomfortable. Ann-Gel continued to gaze both at them and occasionally glance out of the ceiling hole with all of the guilt of a child who had lost her favorite toy.

"...I'm going out for a walk." Splin shook his head and adjusted his headphones around his neck.

"...Yeah." Sharq narrowed his eyes under the shadow of his cap.

"Good." Splin shot back with a similar mien. "Hope the cube isn't a toaster when I get back."

The two brothers had somewhat of a silent standoff. The standoff ended prematurely when Splin turned his head and headed for the exit. The door swung open and shut with a resounding slam, followed by the noise of something rocketing off into the distance with a splat, the noise level fading back into a minimal breeze.

Sharq gaped at the door for quite some time before sagging back one of the counter stools with his right hand at his temple. "...Ugh."

"...Are you…?" Ann-Gel sneaked up underneath Sharq's seat curiously. "Are you alright Sharq?"

He let go of his temple and tilted his cap back up with another one of his trademark grins. "...Just a little stressed. We kinda all are…"

Ann-Gel frowned up at him from the ground. An audible ding broke through the tense silence. Sharq turned towards the microwave as did Ann-Gel with an equally puzzled expression. Through the clear glass of the miniature oven door, Sharq noticed something, and reached for the buttons on the side. He tapped a solitary button engraved into the machine and watched the door swing open by itself.

He reached in the microwave and pulled out a puffy disc of sorts with seaweed wrapped around it in a tinfoil wrapping. Sharq blinked wonderingly and peered down at the amiibo. "At least we've got pie!"

Ann-Gel narrowed her eyes. "You sure you're alright?"

"Of course I am!" Sharq tilted his head. "Just disappointed that Splin…"

He paused mid-sentence when he noticed the eyebrow Ann-Gel was giving him. The up-tilted brow cock caused a bead of sweat to drip down Sharq's own.

"...Won't be able to enjoy this with us!" Sharq's teeth beamed with the widest smile he could muster.

The taller Inkling pushed the giant pastry towards her. Ann-Gel frowned and pushed it away. "Sharq, please. You're fawning over him like a guppy man. Splin's fine. He just need time away from his overprotective-"

Sharq narrowed his eyes down at her. He pulled the pie back and placed it on the counter with an offended expression.

Ann-Gel held her hands by her hips and a deadpan expression on her face. "LOVINGLY, overprotective, brother. You know we love you but, if I'm being honest, you're kinda overbearing sometimes Sharq."

Sharq's pout leveled up by ten. "What? Since when have I been overbearing?"

The toaster oven's door slammed shut suddenly. Sharq yelped and jumped back while Ann-Gel just glanced towards the appliance. The Tele-Cube beeped back at them from its microwave personage. It seemed to direct the beeps towards the larger Inkling, although with the lack of any facial features, it just appeared as though it was but a malfunctioning kitchen appliance.

"Yeah, exactly, you'd think that a cheery guy like him wouldn't get so uppity." Ann-Gel pursed her lips at the microwave as it chimed in approval.

His mouth gaped open. "Give me a break Tele-Toaster, this isn't about me, this is about Splin!"

The new nickname seemed to strike a chord in the toaster. It chirped, although for the life of him, Sharq had no clue whether it tried to speak to him or if it was offended.

"Yeah see Ann-Gel? Tele-Toaster gets it." Sharq hummed indignantly as the Tele-Toaster beeped back in irritation.

"Sharq, this isn't just about Splin, it's about you too." Ann-Gel scowled back at him with a lecturing tone. "I get that it hasn't been too great for you two this year. But right now, the both of you need to cool off, and let each other get some space. Got it?"

Sharq stared down at the amiibo. With a reluctant frown and a sigh he managed to nod. "Fiiine."

"Now sit down, stop being a worrywart, and enjoy the pie." Ann-Gel instructed Sharq as she pointed to pastry.

"...Yeah." Sharq sighed and glanced up at the ceiling as his arm rested on the counter besides the Poké Balls "It is a nice day outside. The sky's blue…the air…"

He sniffed as he scanned the hole in the ceiling. The extra aroma of the pastry on the counter certainly helped.

"And...we do have this." Sharq turned back around.

Sharq patted the pie crust with a reassured mind. His hand recoiled in shock and he yelped yet again much to the others' confusion.

"Agh!" He yelped in surprise and shrunk into a blue squid. "That's hot! Toaster why?!"

The toaster managed a sheepish beep as Ann-Gel simply sighed.

* * *

The sky was blue and the air was crisp as Splin hurled towards earth. As he sped through the sky towards the ground below across several buildings he could only sigh as the air wrapped around him in a violent caress.

" _...It is a nice day outside."_ Splin managed to think to himself.

As he said so a patch of clouds smacked into him. It strung across his small blue squid body and tentacles possessively as if it wanted to drag him and keep him in the sky. All the cloud's hard work was for naught when Splin escaped with water vapor passing off him.

"Ugh." Splin spat and switched back into Inkling form midair. "Wherever I'm landing better be worth it."

Before he could say anything else he felt the scrape of cement on his shoes. Plummeting from the wild blue yonder he smacked into the pavement almost like a fly on a windshield. Unsteadily but surely, he began to ran as momentum carried him forward, and managed to stick the landing as a blue squid as he stopped just before he hit the glass doors in front of him.

On the tip of the toes of his Orange Arrows he stooped in front of the glass doors of Arowana Mall. The sign brimmed festively with red and green lights wrapped around the logo written in the traditional Inkling language. Sea creatures of all shapes and sizes departed from the mall, Inklings with bags of fashion and gifts, foot traffic at a capitally moderate mob of shoppers.

A gloom settled over Splin once more. _"I forgot. Squidmas."_ He sighed resignedly as he rubbed his temples. _"And I didn't get Sharq a gift yet-!"_

His eyes glossed over the glass pane doors. Something caught his eyes, as the doors swung open with every cheery Inkling with a bag of goodies, a poster flittered in the breeze.

"Holiday Sale! Buy two Splatendo Wii U games at GameShark and get a free stylus pack!" The poster read.

" _...That is the most underwhelming deal of all time."_ Splin thought to himself. _"At least it would be if Sharq didn't lose so many styli...eh. I guess I'll need to get him a gift anyways."_

Instinctively Splin reached into his pants pockets. He pulled out a small simple wallet, cracked it open, and peered in.

His eyebrows narrowed and the black bags under his eyes felt heavier. _"...There goes my Monster Splatter Generations."_ Splin shook his head, pushed on the glass doors, and entered the shopping mall reluctantly. _"At least the day can't get worse."_

* * *

Prothe was about ready to aim a Splattershot at himself. He would if he carried the weapon at least. His eyes twitched and his gray-green tentacles sagged. His back hunched over and his uniform lazily strewn on with his name tag seemingly about to drop off of his coat he stood crooked over the counter.

Under any other circumstances this would be a good day for him.

The GameShark was booming and Prothe was hardly taken by surprise. Squidmas had passed and several doting squid mothers and fathers had granted their spoiled kids about gift cards or extra funds which they all cashed in for him. He frowned when he looked back at his initial belief that perhaps this would be a little better than his ice cream gig.

"...and it's over-hyped." A flounder in a jersey complained as it stood by the counter. "I don't understand why it got so popular. You ever see that comparison video on it?"

Prothe's scowl deepened. "No."

"Well you should have." The flounder mouthed off. "That game is an over-hyped, piece of trash, and rips off everything about-"

"Yeah, okay, cool." Prothe's eyes were about to glaze over. "So are you going to buy something?"

"Why would I buy from here?" The flounder rolled his eyes and floundered away from the counter to the exit. "This place is a rip-off. Just like Overhyped over there."

He pointed over towards a poster of a video game character posted on the front glass door. She winked back at them from her stationary spot. The flounder shook his head and walked off with a huff and a puff and a wobbly strut that would put a first-time bicyclist to shame as he squeezed himself through the doors.

Prothe narrowed his eyes as he watched the fish bumbled out the door. _"You aren't wrong. This place sucks."_

Prothe was surrounded by shelves stacked with video games and gift card carousel racks sat stagnant in the middle of the room. Among the shiny cases of unopened digital and physical copies of games a handful of bright-eyed bushy tentacled female Inklings armed with several cases stacked on top of one another approached his counter. He cocked a semi-curious eyebrow at them.

"What do you want?" He asked bluntly with one eye bulged out at them.

"...Uh, could we buy our games?" One young Inkling asked as she hoisted her bag up.

"...Right. Sure." Prothe muttered under his breath and reached for the bag.

With a swift hand and a sore face Prothe swiped the collection of games under a scanning machine set by a cash register just in front of the slob. Tact and quick swift hands punched in the numbers as two sleepy gray green eyes surveyed the work.

"...Two thousand four hundred coins even." Prothe muttered as he glanced at the pair of squids.

One reached into her pockets and pulled out a small red card. As she granted it to Prothe he scanned it just as quickly as the set of items before it and handed it back with a wave of his hand. Before they could blink, Prothe reached to the side and gripped a plastic package of small multicolored nibless pens and tossed them to the Inklings waiting patiently.

"Thanks." Prothe muttered as he waved them off.

Cheer now present on their faces, the pair of Inklings hopped off and out of the store, and rushed through and past the doors.

" _Great."_ Prothe's eyes narrowed as he turned away from the door and as he rested on the counter. _"Even fourteen year olds are richer than me."_ Bitterly he turned towards the ceiling. _"I can only imagine how much more mundane this will get."_

He glanced towards the door suddenly in an almost expectant manner. Eyebrow cocked, he watched several Inklings outside pass by the store as they chatted among themselves, and laid his chin on his counter morosely.

Nothing happened.

"...Nevermind." He muttered to himself.

* * *

The buttery crust tasted wonderful. Emphasis on tasted, as the remnants laid by Sharq's lap, a husk of the former pie glory the pastry once held already gathered dust in its solitary spot.

Sharq however hardly felt satisfied as he laid by the kitchen counters. "...Hmm."

A figure of orange popped itself into his vision. Ann-Gel blinked back at him. "That was fast."

"I guess it was." Sharq hummed with a distracted tone as he stared at the sky.

Ann-Gel placed her hands on her hip. "Sharq. Who are you thinking about?"

"Politics." Sharq answered with a hum.

"...Wait really?" The amiibo asked quickly.

"Yeah." Sharq answered as he continued to stare blankly up into the air. "I mean, the economy's a bit wonky, everyone can practically get money for free at the age of fourteen. Sure, it's nice and all, but what about money inflation?"

Ann-Gel blinked in confusion. Sharq's face was stone serious. "...What?"

"...Just kidding." Sharq laughed quietly and pet Ann-Gel on her small head much to the amiibo's dissent. "I'm just thinking about you-know-who."

"Sharq!" Ann-Gel complained incredulously as she brushed away the giant fingers that rubbed against her head. "My Cod dude! You've gotta get your mind off of your brother. It's not healthy."

"Whuh?" Sharq blinked in response. "I'm talking about Father Squidmas."

"...Wait who?" Ann-Gel's eyes narrowed in response.

"But now that you mention it," Sharq hummed with a curious smile on his face as he stood up straight, "Why don't we go out and-"

"...No." Ann-Gel scowled back at him.

Sharq stared down at the trophy. Ann-Gel stared back at the Inkling. The Tele-Toaster beeped.

Within seconds, Ann-Gel felt herself being swooped up into the air with a gasp, enclosed in Sharq's hand with a very friendly smile. "C'mon! Let's go out!"

"Sharq!" She complained and punched his hand. "You're supposed to stay away from him!"

"I know!" Sharq reassured her with a nonchalant shake of his head. "I'm just going to look for Squidmas presents! Besides, did you actually think you could stop me," He asked with an uncharacteristically mischievous glint in his eye.

Ann-Gel pursed her lips in a sudden enlightened pout. She slowly and reluctantly punched his hand again with her tiny plastic arm. Ann-Gel punched again with more force.

Sharq laugh bellowed like a super-villain as she assaulted him with weak blows. Only a very energetic teenage super-villain. The Tele-Toaster beeped again behind the both of them and Ann-Gel could barely agree.

"...Ship." Ann-Gel cursed in his grip.

* * *

Splin yawned and stretched his arms tiredly. It felt like an eternity since he had entered the mall. Probably because of the lines. Arowana Mall's interior was stuffed to its metaphorical gills with Inklings and other sea creatures on legs who crowded the walkways in single file order. From the top floor to the bottom, almost anywhere a clerk was stationed, a line waited impatiently.

He gripped his headphones and shook his head. _"Beats awkward sibling tension."_

Splin dodged and weaved past one, two, he had counted twenty lines. As he stepped around the top floor past mobs of excitable holiday shoppers he glanced towards the end of the mall. Luckily for him the rest of the floor was mostly clear aside from the occasional potted plant and chair rest stop.

The GameShark appeared suspiciously clear. With a gruff, annoyed huff, Splin travelled across tiles underneath the light of the windows. He glanced back cautiously at the crowd as he made way for the store.

Prothe on the other hand had made a new staring contest partner out of the glass door. As it sat stagnant and clear aside from several video game posters taped on Prothe gazed at it hopelessly.

" _Any day now."_ He sighed as he stared. _"Why the shell is this store suddenly so empty?"_

He cocked his head towards the door expectantly. Aside from the crowds in the distance and the paper girl winking at him there was hardly anything to write home about.

Prothe narrowed his eyes and adjusted his name tag. _"Then I guess my shift is-"_

The girl on the door swung into the store as the entrance opened.

"Oh you-" He grumbled with one leg already extended over the counter.

Prothe reluctantly retracted his leg from the air and stuffed it back behind the counter as his next customer strolled through the door. He relaxed his shoulders and stood almost hunched over the counter as his name tag dangled from his shirt and his tentacles sat still and solemn.

"...Welcome to Game-" Prothe began with a single glance. "Hm."

His headphones wrapped around his neck, Splin shook his head and walked across the aisles of polished game cases, with a yawn to spare. "Ahhh."

Prothe cocked an eyebrow. "Look who's back. "

Splin perked up suddenly and turned towards the counter. Prothe had taken up the counter space with both arms wrapped about one another tiredly. "Oh. Hi."

"Haven't seen you in a while. How you feeling?" Prothe asked with an eyebrow cocked.

Splin tiredly rubbed his face under the bags of his eyes. "...What do you mean?"

"Well...for starters…" Prothe muttered with an almost complacent grin. "You look much better than last time."

"Last time?" He adjusted his headphones. "...Oh! You mean a couple of months ago."

"Yeah man." Prothe nodded in response. "You still look terrible. Just a little less."

"...Gee, thanks-" Splin started somewhat reluctantly. Pausing mid-sentence, he stopped, and inconspicuously peered at Prothe's chest. "...'Prothe'."

"Ugh." Prothe shook his head somewhat solemnly as he picked at his name tag. "Hate these things." He tapped it lightly with his index finger. "You know these stab you in the chest if you aren't careful?"

"...Uh…" Splin rubbed the back of his head. "...I guess? I came here for the promotion." He glanced out the door. "The free styli thing."

"...Right." Prothe simply shook his head and pointed across the room. "Then...pick your games."

With a silent nod Splin turned around towards the shelves stacked with games. He slumped over somewhat reluctantly as he pat his pocket where his wallet laid. Behind him, Prothe examined him with an analytical expression and a lax pair of arms wrapped over one another.

Prothe glanced at Splin's shoulders. "...Slumped."

Splin turned almost instantly with an eyebrow cocked. "Huh?"

Prothe waved dismissively. "Nothing. Just keep going about your business kid." Splin frowned and returned to peruse the video games. _"Baggy eyes."_

"Alright." Splin returned to the counter with a yawn. "Couldn't find anything."

Prothe blinked in surprise. "Already?"

"Yeah," He stretched his arms, "Sorry. Nothing really stood out."

The older Inkling simply scoffed and shook his head. "No problem." As Splin simply turned and made for the exit Prothe cleared his throat quickly. "Where you going next?"

"Huh?" An inquisitive mutter answered back.

Splin turned around to the counter-top. The cashier leaned inconspicuously, his name tag still dangled from his uniform, as he waved Splin off with disinterest painted all over his face. Though mildly confused, Splin turned to the glass doors and reached forward on the handle, and pulled back. The glass doors and the posters upon them pulled forward.

"So, hypothetically, if I were to ask-" Prothe began as he leaned on the other side of the glass.

"Agh!" Splin's blue squid body flung itself back into the store and slid onto its back. As he hit the ground, he sat up semi-straight, and panicked and gasped in and out in an erratic pattern. "What?!"

Prothe shook his head nonchalantly as if they had known each other for years. "Can't a guy be curious?"

Splin switched back into an Inkling and swiveled his head towards the counter where a cash register laid. He glanced back to where Prothe stood at the open doors. Prothe waved back with a frown as the sounds of crowds trampling one another echoed through the door into the GameShark. Splin bit his lip reluctantly.

"...The f-" Splin muttered uneasily for a moment. "Why would you care?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Prothe asked with an arched eyebrow and a small, curious, and very unnatural smile. "Customer service right?"

There came a rapping on the glass pane door still closed. Prothe's smile vanished as he glanced out the door. The flounder glared back at him. "I'm not finished yet! I haven't even begun to draw parallels between the two-"

In a flash Prothe reached for a poster stuck to the door. He picked it off of the glass, shoved the poster in the flounder's face, and yelled. "No one cares about your video game vendetta! Go screw off to your online forums-" He paused as the flounder stumbled off elsewhere in a daze. "...Er...so where were we?"

Prothe turned back to the inside of the store. Where a tired Splin once sat was nothing but carpet strung with dirt. The clerk's eyes twitched as he shook his head and scrambled out the store. "Ship."

Splin listened intently as the beat of shoes pounded on the floor above him. He watched as Prothe sprinted off. Splin sighed in relief. "...That was weird."

The sound of sprinting faded off into the distance. Perhaps now Splin could jump off of this tree.

He bit his lip and stared down. The floor was but a few feet (a few incalculable meters) away from his feet. The tree he hung from erected from the soil of a planter with ferns decorating the trunk. A set of benches stood back-to-back with the planter underneath. Splin swung his legs towards the softer soil somewhat fruitlessly.

As he glanced towards the polished white tiles below he could only think, _"Why didn't I take the escalator?"_ Splin managed to process before his grip on the spiny brown bark of the tree relinquished.

Splin smacked into the planter below with a rather simple "thump". With a groan, he got up off of the edge of the cement planter and stood up straight on his Orange Arrows, and straightened out his back. "Ow."

With the threat of any injury gone in an instant Splin glanced around the bottom floor. The crowds and lines continued to clog and congest the walkways and cover the floor in prints of dirt which mimicked the outline of several different brands of shoes. He clicked the roof of his mouth somewhat impatiently as he scanned the mall.

He noticed a food stand not too far from the planter. The vaguely recognizable scent of dough wafted about the air. Splin took a step forward then paused. _"...I just fell and my first instinct is to get food."_ He gazed almost wistfully in the direction of the food stand. _"...You know what? Maybe a bite will help me stop over-analyzing things."_

Absentmindedly guided by the allure of food Splin continued on. The scent grew ever enticing as he stepped forward. In the blink of an eye Splin found himself suddenly stationed in front of the stand. Behind the counters and the cash register an employee stooped over a stainless steel counter arranged dough into coiled shapes.

" _I guess pretzels will do."_ Splin shrugged and cleared his throat. "Excuse me?"

Prothe turned around with a well-crafted pretzel shaped piece of dough stuck to the counter besides him. He blinked and leaned as if he had stood at the stand forever. "Yes?"

"What the flip?!" Splin barked in shock and stumbled back yet again. "Prothe?!"

"That's what it says on my name tag." Prothe nodded down towards his new uniform. It was yellow and bright with a blue Inkling carrying a pretzel emblazoned on the middle. A matching name tag was tacked onto the chest.

"But- Why are you here?" Splin demanded suspiciously.

"I dunno, earning coins?" Prothe shrugged in an honest manner. "Life's expensive man."

"No I mean-" Splin shook his head quickly and glared back. "How did you- " He paused for a moment. "Actually, nevermind, I don't wanna know."

"You don't need to know." Prothe leaned over the counter and smirked down at him. "Listen. There's something I need to tell you. So I've been watching you-"

Splin felt his gut tighten uncomfortably. Before Prothe could say anything he backed away again with one hand in his shorts pocket.

Prothe's eyes widened. "Wait a minute."

Splin backed away yet again. His fingers clenched onto his phone nervously.

"No." Prothe's face glowed a flustered tint of green. "It's not like that! I just wanted to ask you about your life and-" His expression turned blank and he stared at the ground. "...Okay that does sound a little weird when I say it aloud. But hear me out here! I know these things-"

The tiled floor he glanced ahead at did not have a reply. The resounding noise of a tentacles smacking into the floor and the fleeting glimpse of a blue squid high-tailing it out of the mall was all he needed to see. With a scowl and a sigh he scaled over the counter and dropped on the other side.

" _The one time I actually want to try and help too."_ Prothe's lips pursed the words soundlessly with an irritated twitch in his eyes.

* * *

Splin's tentacles shifted into land mode shortly after the mall escape. As he left Arowana Mall in the dust of his shoes and ran throughout the city without even a hint of where he was going. He was still confused from the encounter. He walked along the ever familiar gray sidewalk under the industrial shadows of buildings.

His ears twitched. "Hm." The roar of motor vehicles and the bustle of busy bodies as they bumbled about the city was nothing new. But as Splin turned around and stared backward he could only take a deep breath and shake his head. "Ugh."

"Fancy seeing you here!"

"Gah!" Splin yelped and dived. The clang that resulted from his noggin and the nearby metal mailbox made him immediately wish that he had dived to his left instead. "Ow- Ow!"

Ari glanced down at Splin in confusion as he stood over him. His proud posture and original smile began to falter. "...Am I interrupting something?"

Splin cocked an eye upwards. The taller, orange Inkling with his Jungle Hat tilted down stared back at him, a mixture of intrigue and confusion in the middle of his face. "...Ari? What are you doing here?"

Ari tilted his head and glanced at the sky with his arms folded around his back absentmindedly. "Oh…you know. Waiting. Just waiting around, walking around Inkopolis, the usual."

"...Huh?" Splin arched an eyebrow.

Ari's morose eyes blinked. "Uh. Whoops." He snapped his head back towards Splin with a smile. "I've been...exploring about this glorious utopia of ours in search of a challenge! Would you perhaps-"

"Oh please no." Splin shook his head quickly. "That's the last thing I need."

"Ah." Ari commented as his boisterous voice began to falter. "W-Well, if you ever feel like doing anything I'll be around here."

As Ari spoke he skulked off with his hands folded in his Varsity Jacket's pockets almost disappointingly. He rounded a corner and left Splin and his head to ache by themselves. Splin frowned, rose to his feet, and rubbed his forehead in a mix of irritation and bewilderment. _"What I wouldn't do for a pack of ice...dang it Ari…"_

"Ahem." A voice called to him from behind.

Splin blinked and noticed something out of the corner of his eye. By his left shoulder an outstretched hand offered a small damp bag clear enough to notice a series of ice cubes wrapped inside. Splin blinked and snatched it without a second thought. "Thank you."

"No problem." Prothe yawned as he leaned on a streetlight. "That pack of ice is a free sample by the way."

"...No flipping way." Splin's eyes widened as the ice came into contact with his head. Two things came to mind. That one, the melted water from the ice felt about as pleasant as a breeze in a sub-zero tundra, and that two, the Inkling was behind him.

Prothe snickered as he stood in a new uniform altogether. He apron with an ice cube painted on it and leaned over a cart with the exact same logo behind him. "It's ice. Frozen water isn't exactly a commodity."

The younger Inkling's reaction certainly was not what Prothe expected. Splin quickly took the bag and flung it off into the street. The ice spilled about the ground and cluttered the road next to them.

Splin shot a glare at Prothe. "Why are you following me? Just because I didn't take advantage of the deal?"

"...Deal?" Prothe hummed absentmindedly as he leaned on the streetlight. "I don't believe Inkopolis Ice has had any deals as of late. Not that it would really matter."

Just as he hummed with a clueless drone a car zoomed past. Coated in pink and green, the automobile continued on its merry way at a tremendous speed. It was at this point that the car ran over the ice and shattered the cubes into shards of frigid glass and droplets of water as the car rolled past.

Prothe arched an eyebrow. "...Huh. I don't know why but I expected something much more spectacular to happen."

"C'mon Marie!" A new voice joined much to Splin's distaste. From around the corner, a set of pink leggings in a bubbly dress popped out. Callie dashed out from seemingly nowhere after the car. "Just let me drive again this once! I promise I'll keep from craaAAAAA!"

Callie's sentence was cut short as she felt one of her boots friction fail her and carry her off in the direction of the car screaming. Prothe blinked as he gazed down the street with an ice cube underneath her right shoe.

"Uh-huh. Sure. You were saying?" Splin glared at him as the Squid Sister skedaddled away from the scene.

"Are you going to call the cops on me the next time I open my mouth or are you gonna let me speak?" Prothe inquired as he jutted one elbow out.

"No." Splin answered almost immediately and began to walk off.

"...Seriously?" Prothe protested in a sort of offended sense. "C'mon! I just wanna talk!"

"And I just want to be left alone today but that didn't seem to work out very well." Splin muttered underneath his breath.

"That's what I'm talking about." Prothe gestured towards him with an open palm.

"I don't know what YOU'RE talking about that's for sure." Splin berated him brashly as he took off.

"One-liner style quips, sagging shoulders, and bags under your eyes." Prothe tapped his lips in interest. "You aren't feeling fine are you? I can tell. I know these things. I feel how you feel man."

"..." Splin bit his lip as he faced away.

"Now you could let me help you out." Prothe suggested as he leaned on the flagpole. "Or you could go about the rest of your day and, to that extent, your life all sad like that without a purpose. What'll it be?"

"...Mind your own business." Splin muttered as he stepped away.

Prothe watched Splin mosey away. Unlike his breathless sprint such as last time he simply shuffled off with all the pacing of a snail. Prothe sighed. "You're an odd one. You kids always have to be so stubborn."

Regardless of the other squid's departure Prothe continued on. He followed behind as Splin began to pick up the pace. The two broke into a run as Splin jetted off through the city with Prothe followed behind. The two hardly realized the true reason they chased or were being chased. They continued to run regardless as their tired Inkling bodies propelled themselves through the city.

" _I just want a normal day! Is that too much to ask?"_ Splin thought to himself as he sprinted.

* * *

Sharq sighed positively as he took in the fresh air. "See Ann-Gel? Nothing wrong with getting a little fresh air!"

"...Mm." Ann-Gel murmured with one hand on her cheek.

"It's nice out too." Sharq commented as he gazed up at the sky. "A little too many clouds though."

"Alright." Ann-Gel frowned and peered up at him. "Yeah, so, just asking, what part of 'Stay away' involves any of...this?"

She gestured below them both. Underneath them the blank face of the Great Zapfish gazed out at the city rather tiredly as it stayed coiled around the tower. Ann-Gel gazed down from their perch above overlooking the city through a set of glass panes.

"...Why? What's wrong with it?" Sharq asked the trophy sat by his leg.

Ann-Gel glanced at the binoculars behind her. The clean glass lenses dwarfed her in size but they were perfect for the Inkling that stood above her. "I just can't believe you're doing this."

Sharq sighed and picked up the binoculars. "It's a brother thing Ann-Gel."

"...Right." Ann-Gel shook her head. "Because Splin always looks for you with a telescope when you're away. Are you at least going to explain why you're doing this?"

"Of course not." Sharq shook his head as his attention stayed directed outside. "I'm his brother so it's obviously my moral responsibility to look out for him with no prompting."

"...That's the biggest excuse I've ever heard." Ann-Gel's eyes narrowed.

"Well I don't have an explanation so you're just going to have to wait!" Sharq fretted and fumbled with his viewfinder.

Trapped on the top of a tower against her will, Ann-Gel disinterestedly gazed down at the Inkopolis Plaza. In the distance the ginormous plastic amiibo box sat in its basic spot against the corner of the plaza. She stared at it until her eyes drifted away in a sort of melancholy manner. Then she nearly had a heart attack. A familiar, small speckle of blue, headphones strapped around his head, ran across the outside perimeter of the plaza.

She glanced back at Sharq. He diligently gazed out the window. His face began to rotate towards the plaza slowly but surely. It was at this point that time practically stopped for Ann-Gel. The little trophy took a moment.

" _Okay. So best case scenario, Sharq doesn't see Splin and they'll spend the day by themselves without any more pointless drama,"_ Ann-Gel thought with a puzzled expression on her face, _"Worst case scenario they meet and they...argue?"_ Ann-Gel swiveled back towards Sharq as he gazed out the window. "...Okay nope."

With her little pedestal still attached, Ann-Gel stared up at Sharq as he lowered his head towards the plaza, then leaped up and at him.

* * *

AN: How about that Switch huh?

...Oh yeah. I also forgot to update three days ago when it was the one-year anniversary of this story. Huh. Apologies. But now we're but a few years after the debut of Splatoon and already at its sequel ladies and gentlemen. So there's that.

And I hope that the Switch will be able to inspire more material for me to skim through. So if any other writers are reading this I'd hope to see some more quality material from you folks.

With that nonsense all out of the way I'd like to look at the reviews. Thanks sebastian G, write n wrong, Ultrapyre, Anonymous, anon, and Learn to write for reviewing as well as the several guests.

I honestly got a real hoot out of that review sebastian G. I have been slacking off in the chapter kitchen as of late so I hope the judges don't disqualify me from the show!

Thank you write n wrong. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. A little worried now that people are starting to pay attention to the drama which means I'm really going to have to step my game up. ...Not that there is anyone updating much these days.

Thanks Ultrapyre. I apologize for the jarring reference as well as the over-reliance on the Tele-Cube. I'd hope that in the future I'll have more time to pay attention to the plots I draft so that they don't get too unruly or awful. ...Not that this story necessarily has a plot more than a series of drabbles but I digress.

I'd like to address all of the anonymous reviews as one considering it's been a bit of a chain. All I can really say to them all is...thanks.

Thanks for seeing my story as something that could be criticized. Even if some of the reviews were harsh and some were just made by a couple of my buddies as I've recently come to know I'm glad you guys at least picked my story out of the all of the drivel about the Internet to actually spend time to review. Not exactly the most flattering reviews a majority of the time but thanks anyways. A little disappointed in myself for attracting such a negative company but still I suppose it's not to be avoided.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, sorry for the delay.


	66. Whine

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Whine**

Splin detected a pattern. A very obvious pattern. He was not exactly sure why he did not realize it sooner, but it was increasingly clear that his unfortunate cardio routine had a pattern, and not a fond one. It followed the same routine after all.

As Splin moseyed across the outside of the plaza he could only reflect on how embarrassingly obvious the routine was. _"Running from something."_ He thought to himself as an outward sigh escaped his mouth. _"What am I? 4 years old again? This is ridiculous."_

A noise banged from his right. Splin gasped and turned to the side with his hands instinctively pushing in front of his face in a defensive attempt. He stopped and stared for a while. A drop of sweat dripped down his head and his eyebrows tilted down. A large green dumpster across the street shrouded in the dark recesses of an alley shook and tilted with an incredible noise that could put a Splatfest to shame.

"...Who's there?" Splin asked curiously.

The crinkling of paper and the light taps of bottles increased in volume until the black lid of the dumpster flew open. A white and black cat emerged from the garbage abyss, his yellow eyes twinkling, as he carried a few discarded, deteriorating, dirty fish bones in his maw.

"Mew. (Mm.)" Judd hummed boastfully as he leapt out of the garbage onto the cold cement of the alleyway. He took a few confident steps out from the dank lane out into the bright light on two paws with his two other paws happily swinging back and forth until he noticed Splin. "(Wha?)"

"Uh." Splin blinked back at the cat. Judd stood as if he were frozen in time with one paw daintily extended above the street with the terrible stench of a discarded fish billowing about him. "...Was that not something I should've seen?"

"Row!" Judd screeched back at him. He set himself on all fours. "(You saw nya-thing.)"

With that Judd skedaddled down the street out of sight with a cloud of dust behind him. The sound of him scratching against the pavement faded away into traffic.

"Oh." Splin chirped with a blank expression. "Okay, I think I know where this is going. So, uh, first things first, is this going to become like a gag?" He stared around at the city-scape and yelled. "Anyone else going to 'jump out' at me?"

He waited expectantly. Splin managed to spy a few small finches crowd above him on rooftops. They chirped once, twice, then flew off.

"...Well that was disappointing." Splin crossed his arms.

It was at that moment that Splin felt his tentacles stand up on end. Before he could react a strong gust of wind blew past and knocked him forward. He fell to the sidewalk with a groan. Though mildly dazed he managed to sneak a glance up. A familiar pink and green coated vehicle sped past him. His eyes caught a glimpse of black and his ears a hint of screaming. The car nearly toppled over as it rolled down the street.

Much to his amazement one of the tires exploded with a hiss and a pop. With one of its rear tires out of commission the car, seeing as though the tire was its only grip on the laws of physics, promptly flipped over and spent the rest of its trip through the air. Its trip was cut short as the vehicle paid a sudden visit to the Squid Sisters Studio's roof.

A resonating crash and the sight of smoke rising from the roof emerged. Splin gazed at the roof in horror. "Holy ship." He glanced down at himself and pat his body all over with his two hands. "Did… Was that my fault?!"

Nothing but the roof replied. Splin swore that if it could speak it might have screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH," In response.

Quickly Splin took off. His Orange Arrows pounded against the pavement with rough squeaks as he made his way behind the studios. The sidewalk gave way to a dirt path which in turn gave way to a set of train tracks. Any fear of being stalked was quickly put to rest as the smoke above him began to collect into a black pillar.

* * *

Meanwhile Sharq gazed down from the clear light-blue observation windows of Inkopolis Tower in shock. If they stood side by side Splin and Sharq's expressions could have been mistaken for mirrors of one another. Mouth down-turned and eyes glued to the smoke he continued to stare breathlessly at the destruction. Dangling from the set of binoculars below was Ann-Gel. She was puzzled.

With a cursory glance upwards she took note of Sharq's expression. _"Well…"_ She tilted her head. _"Doesn't look like he realizes Splin passed by."_ She let go of the binoculars and planted herself on the clean tiles below. "Well that's a..." She pursed her lips. "Bummer."

"..." Sharq continued to stare on in horror as flames wrapped about the roof of the studio.

"...Boy." Ann-Gel blinked with pursed lips underneath her eyes. "That sure is a catastrophe."

"...You think Splin might've been down there?" Sharq asked with a hint of concern.

" _Ah Cod darn it."_ Ann-Gel murmured in her mind. Her ogling eyes traced their way back to the overabundance of exhaust. _"...Oh…I don't want to risk Sharq going into another 'brotherly tangent'. But if Splin was near there…"_ She shook her head. "...No."

Sharq gazed down at the smoke. "...Still...don't you think we should do something about this? It's really-"

Another explosion sounded off from the wreckage. In a blurry second, something flung itself out from the debris and wreckage and managed to lodge itself not too far from Sharq's head, a shrapnel piece suddenly embedded in the glass inches (a few more centimeters) away from Sharq's nose. Sharq blinked as the once pristine glass of Inkopolis Tower now welcomed a new addition in the form of a shard of metal.

Sirens began to wail in the background. "How about…" Ann-Gel nodded towards a firm, clean door behind them, an elevator call button stationed on the wall besides it. "We stay away from the fiery mess? Maybe get something to eat? Away from Inkopolis Plaza preferably?"

"Well…" Sharq turned back towards the intimidating fragment.

The glass made a soft sound like that of a sword being sheathed as the metal dropped from the glass and fell towards the ground below. Sharq and Ann-Gel could distinctly hear the sound of someone scream underneath as a thud sounded off.

"Yeah! Okay!" Sharq nodded rapidly as both hightailed it towards the elevator.

" _...Phew."_ Ann-Gel wiped her plastic forehead. _"Thank goodness for that explosion."_ She paused. _"Wait that sounds wrong."_

Before she could rethink her wording she and Sharq found themselves planted firmly within an elevator room going down.

* * *

Splin skidded to a halt in front of the glass doors of the studio. Though the panes were pristinely cleansed to the point where it appeared as though the doors themselves were replaced with mirror the smell of smoldering studio wafting about the area was a clean indication all was not okay. With mild panic and complete lunacy he burst through the front doors onto the fine white floor inside.

He stood up quickly and stared around. "Hey! Is anyone-" His arms drooped down to his side. "Okay?"

A soot-covered Marie stared back at him from the receptionist desk. The Squid Sister in green cleared her throat. "Oh hey. Where's the fire?"

Splin bit his lip. "...On top of the studio…?"

"Eh." Marie shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the receptionist. Lalai, posted to her chair, turned as well with a patient stare. "So I'm thinking that we add an extra number lock on the front of the car…"

"I dunno." Lalai crossed her arms. "What if you wake up earlier than Callie again?"

"Then she'll take the bus." Marie blew up towards a small white tentacle that obscured one of her eyes. "If I have to take another ride on Callie Airlines I'm going to…"

"Um, okay," Splin interrupted with a frown, "So am I missing something or do you two not realize the building is burning down?"

Lalai blinked and swiveled in her chair back to Splin. "Oh! Hi Splin!"

" _...Really?"_ Splin's shoulders slumped.

Suddenly Lalai perked up. "Wait, are you here about the car?"

"...The one lodged in the roof." He gestured upwards with his thumb. "The one that exploded."

"Happens all the time." Lalai waved him off. "Callie's practicing for her driver's exam."

"Or a massacre." Marie spoke without a hint of concern. Her tone reverberated flatly. "Either way it's been going pretty terrible considering the car's totaled."

A random tremor shook the building with the ever familiar sound of another explosion. The three Inklings in the lobby wobbled, though both females continued to stand upright as if nothing happened, while Splin flopped down onto the floor in an instant.

"Huh." She gazed up at the ceiling. Chunks of the ceiling dropped down and smashed onto the once clean floor. "If it wasn't totally wrecked before it sure is now." She stretched her arms and began to walk off towards an open blue door labelled "Studio". "If I don't come back tell Gramps I love him."

Lalai gave a polite bow and a salute. "Yes ma'am."

"Thanks." Marie spoke in response as she turned and kicked the door behind her. It slammed shut.

With that Lalai swiveled back to face Splin as he picked himself up off the floor. "So what brings you here?" He narrowed his eyes. "Besides the whole burning thing upstairs."

Splin bit his lip. With a careful glance towards the door he attempted to peer through the glass. Regardless of his position it seemed as though the glass was just as well polished on the inside as it was on the outside.

" _I'm being chased by a GameShark employee."_ He thought to himself. _"...That sounds stupid."_

A scream rang out from above. "...fire on the windshield?! How did you set that on fire?!"

" _...Okay maybe not that stupid."_ Splin thought to himself. He turned back towards Lalai and cleared his throat. "I'm-"

There came a rapping on the door. "Pizza delivery!"

Splin froze in his tracks. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Whoa. Jeez." Came a small voice behind him.

Splin blinked and turned around. He was greeted by a guppy on two legs wearing a white cap with a pizza logo stitched on. He lifted a small white box with the same logo. "Sorry we can't all adhere to your taste."

"...Sorry?" Splin frowned.

"Your pizza miss." The guppy spoke up and lifted the small box onto the counter with his small fins. "Thirteen coins."

While Lalai dropped coins into his fins Splin rubbed his chin and continued to gaze at the door. As it slowly closed itself with the remaining momentum it had he gazed out the door cautiously.

"Want a slice?" The receptionist offered, though to no avail, as Splin continued to frown at the doors. Lalai stared at him curiously. "...Is that a no?"

"Hmm? Sorry. Sure." Splin turned about and managed a small, yet reluctant, smile. "Thanks."

Lalai nodded. "Of course. Anything for a fellow agent." As Splin walked closer she leaned one elbow on the counter. "Help yourself." He stopped in place as her elbow landed then took another step forward. "Because we're friends."

"...Do you want something from me?" Splin asked with a placating tone.

"..." Lalai tapped her fingers together. "Do you have any other...stories you could share? About you. And maybe Agent A."

"...Huh?" Splin shook his head in bewilderment.

"Like," She gestured upwards, "Any interesting ones?"

Splin frowned in incertitude. Before he could ask another tap came from the shiny glass doors behind them.

"...I'll get it." Splin offered and scuttled back towards the door.

"Oh." Lalai's shoulders slumped.

He walked over towards the glass. A voice from the outside called. "Pizza delivery!"

"Another one?" Splin asked nonchalantly.

"That's funny." Lalai hummed in curiosity.

"...How's it…" Splin muttered slowly. His eyes widened.

He pulled on the handles and swung the door open. A tired set of eyes and a familiar sagging mop of green tentacles dressed in a yellow and red uniform greeted him.

"Oh no way!" Splin groaned at the sight of him.

"I ain't stopping until we start talking." Prothe shrugged as he leaned one arm on the glass. He held a pizza box under the other.

"Um, I think there's been a mistake. I don't think we ordered a second pizza!" Lalai called from the receptionist desk.

Splin turned back. "Yeah, uh, it's for me."

"...When did you get the time to order one?" Lalai frowned and tilted her head.

"...Earlier?" Splin blinked. "Sorry, I think I'll need to leave.

"Oh…" Lalai pursed her lips and stared down at the ground. "Well...if you don't mind, later, maybe we can swap agent stories?"

"...Alright." Splin nodded back as he left the building. Lalai managed a small wave as he left. Immediately he turned back about and glared at Prothe. "Stop it."

"Hmm?" Prothe hummed absentmindedly.

"Whatever you're doing right now, stop it." Splin demanded with one hand firmly planted on his headphones under his chin. "I don't want your help."

"Yeah." Prothe whistled and glanced back towards the doors. "That you girlfriend?"

"What? No!" Splin frowned indignantly as he stared up at the taller Inkling. "Why do people assume that?"

"You look like the type of 'generic main character'." Prothe pointed out.

"Gee thanks!" Splin shook his head and began to walk away. "Really appreciate your input! Really! I think you're a real friend!"

"Hey." Prothe frowned back at him. "I resent that."

"And I resent you stalking me!" Splin shot back and stood forward.

"It's not stalking if it's stalking out of love." Prothe spoke back with his hands on his hips.

"What the sh- Okay." Splin shook his head and started to scuttle away yet again.

"It was a joke!" Prothe threw his hands up in the air in irritation. "I'm trying to help you for Cod's sake!"

Splin placed his headphones on his head. "Jokes are supposed to be funny."

"Don't you throw that card around!" Prothe pointed back at him. "Especially here of all places!"

"Whatever!" Splin shouted back. He kept his eyes forward and his feet following the same path straight ahead.

"You don't even know where you're going!" Prothe protested from behind him.

"I don't need to!" Splin cried back. His shouts exploded into outcries. "Wherever I need to go to stop YOU from following me!"

"I meant your life path!" Prothe shouted back with his hands cupped about his mouth. "...Ugh. Stubborn kid."

" _Creep."_ Splin thought with a glare back. He walked outwards past streets and through alleyways.

His journey took him throughout a small stretch of the city. Several small brown sparrows continually chirped among the rooftops and street signs. The familiar blare of traffic died down as he ventured further and further through the cracks and alleys of towers and apartment buildings. As he crossed through the darkened gray passages he glanced from side to side and back behind him.

"...I don't see him." He said aloud as if challenging fate. Splin's eyes narrowed.

He continued to walk ahead until he planted his face into something.

"Oop!" Splin blubbered and pushed off. "What the-"

"Hey hey! Mitts off the glass there pal!" Pela yelled back.

"Whoa!" Splin backed away in an instant.

Her chef hat lopsided on her head, Pela examined the pane of glass Splin had rammed into, and huffed impatiently. "Great. As if getting these out in the first place wasn't a problem."

From within the restaurant, armed with a large green rag and clean white gloves, Pela furiously wiped at a glass pane. The glass had remained dislodged from its resting place in the window. Her legs stayed tucked inside the restaurant while hands worked relentlessly on scrubbing the glass.

"Cod." Pela groaned and wiped her forehead with the back of her arm. She glanced upwards with a scowl. "Are you just going to stand around?"

"...Why?" Splin arched an eyebrow. He pivoted in a circle suspiciously around the enclosure. "Is there like a standing fee?"

"...Cod that's a smart idea." She muttered and rubbed her chin. "I can see why Lalai's already taken a liking to you. Friends with benefits."

"What?" Splin tilted his head.

"Well Splin?" Pela cleared her throat and glared up at him. "You going to order something or what? Trying to get me on my good side?"

"No?" Splin shook his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about. What are you even doing?"

She scowled and glared back down at the window pane. "That flipping lightning." She tilted her head back up at Splin. "Splin, do you know how much of a smudge lightning leaves on surfaces?"

"Wait." Splin pointed towards her slowly. "You just said my-"

She continued. "Why the shell does lightning have to leave smudges on every surface it hits?"

"I could probably pay for the damages!" Splin frowned and stared down at her. "What is going on today?! Why does everyone keep- How do you know my name?!"

Pela's eyes narrowed and her eyebrows shifted down. She glowered upwards towards Splin. "...Kid. I work with two of the same employees each day." She stood up and placed her gloved hands on Splin's shoulders. "They are fawning over each other constantly. I have to check on them to make sure they don't smother each others' faces."

Splin swallowed a bullet and felt it crash down somewhere between his three hearts and his stomach.

"I ran a restaurant by myself for years." She went on and glared down. "My only sister went off to who knows where to 'save the Zapfish' and left me to do all the work."

"Um." He raised a finger sheepishly.

Pela gasped for breath, pushed down his finger, the black flower-print spots on her tentacles shook back and forth, and leaned in close. "And now she's back but she won't stop talking about the same guy my employees won't stop chatting about instead of WORKING OR VISITING TO SAY HELLO. I know your name alright. And I'm getting SICK of it! I just want- Can you not- URGH!"

Pela tossed her cleaning rag up into the air. It landed just above them on the Oahu sign just out of reach. The chef's pupils shrunk considerably and her fingers began to squish Splin's shoulders.

"..." Splin blinked and glanced behind him. He stared through towards the many alleys as if he considered his options. Splin instantly turned back quickly. "I'll pay for food. If that's what you're asking."

Her grip loosened on his shoulders. "...Just...take care of Lalai. Alright? ...Tell her, her sister misses her, please?"

"...Is this another 'relationship' misunderstanding?" Splin asked, hardly directed at her, but outwards up towards the air.

"...Ugh." Pela shook her head and leaned back down to the glass and began to wipe her glove back and and forth on the near spotless glass.

With that Splin stepped around her as she scrubbed at the invisible remnants of lightning still stubbornly attached to the glass. He leaned past through the windowsill into the restaurant and blinked considerably about the place. The rest of the decor remained spot on though the body count within was hardly anything to write home about. He spotted a few jellyfish bobble about and a congregation of Inklings huddled in the center at a booth.

"Hey Splin." A calm hail beckoned for him.

Splin turned to the side. Zip stood with a black apron wrapped about her white modern waitress uniform with a yawn and a clipboard at the ready.

"There's always a door you can go through you know." She pointed out behind him.

"I'm just not having the greatest of days today." He sighed in defeat.

"...Alright." Zip sighed, placed her hands by her hips, and shook her head. "Everyone seems to be in slow daze y'know?"

" _Mostly everyone."_ Splin thought while he shot a cursory look backwards. Zip followed his gaze curiously. "I'd like a bite to eat if you don't mind."

"'Course." She hummed and flipped over a page on the clipboard.

Splin walked to the left and took a seat at a lonesome table for two. "A cheeseburger please."

"Nah." Zip hummed in a disappointed manner.

"What?!" Splin tilted his head in confusion.

Zip placed one hand on her hip. "Uh, not going to lie to you, I bet money on you Splin." She reached into her pants pocket and retrieved a wallet. From that wallet she picked out ten golden coins.

"See?" A laugh escaped from behind her. "Told you! They only order the same two things each time!" Willie's brown face and cheery smile popped up from behind her. He scooped the coins from her hand and pecked her on the cheek lightly. "Nice try Zip. But I know our regulars' orders."

"Yeah. You sure showed me." She replied with hardly a grain of genuine quality to her voice. Zip brushed back one of her long yellow tentacles by her ear.

Willie glanced over at Splin and saluted him. "Thank you for being so predictable Music Man!"

Splin was not sure whether or not he should have felt offended. "…You're welcome?"

"Get back in the kitchen lover boy." Pela called back from both the inside and outside.

"Pshaw." Willie 'pshawed' with a wave back towards his boss. He waltzed back towards the counters in the back of the restaurant. "But seriously thanks man." He winked at Zip. "I'll buy you something with this. I promise."

"He's gonna get us fired…" She sighed dreamily.

"…So I guess I'm not allowed to order." Splin muttered in annoyance as he placed one hand on his cheek.

"I wasn't aware you two could eat anything other than junk food." Zip sighed and placed her hands on the table. "C'mon Splin. Something different? You aren't really challenging Willie by ordering the same thing each time."

"Alright, fine." Splin frowned and placed one hand on his cheek. "What do you-"

"Well," Zip's accent turned posh, "We have plenty of marvelous dishes my good sir."

"Could you please just hand me a menu?" Splin asked impatiently.

"Certainly." She sung complacently.

"Would you mind lending me one too?" A voice-

Splin clutched his head and glowered down at the table. "Please don't be Prothe. Please don't be Prothe. I've had enough."

"Pff." Prothe scowled down at the younger Inkling. "Nice to see you again too."

"You a friend?" Zip questioned with a point of her thumb towards the younger Inkling.

Splin's ears slowly and slowly grew deaf as an impromptu conversation began to start. His brown pupils dilated considerably and the grip on his head began to tighten. His vision blurred and his world began to shake as if in a tremor. Colors began to mesh together terribly. Voices became incomprehensible mumbles.

 _"How many…"_ He inquired mentally. _"How many times… How many times is he going to-"_

"-just this morning." Splin heard Prothe mention.

Zip acknowledged with a nod of her head. "Huh. You meet all sorts of people in the strangest places Splin."

Splin's response was to vibrate intensely. The table shook along with him against its will.

Zip blinked and peered over at Splin. "Uh…"

A sickly sweet smile crossed his face. "...Zip? Is it alright if I leave…?"

"...Um?" Zip tilted her head in curiousity. "I was joking about the burger thing."

"I'd like to talk to Prothe alone." Splin spoke as his arms went slack at his sides. His smile persevered despite the multiple twitches in his eyes.

"Sure go right ahead." Zip backed away.

With another forced nod Splin got up to his feet and reached for Prothe's pizza uniform. He gripped the main collar and jerked him towards the outside. Just as they walked past her through the door outside Pela wiped the sweat off of her forehead and hopped inside. She reached over through the open window and pulled the glass back into its rightful place with a satisfied sigh.

"Phew." Pela took off her toque and used it to wipe her forehead. "Took forever. But look at that! Spotless."

Through the spotless glass on the other side Zip could see Splin. He pointed, gestured, and shouted things, presumably not suitable for a "T"-rated stories. She could hardly hear him from the other side but from the way he flailed about like a ragdoll while Prothe just gazed back with bug-eyes as he abused the taller Inkling with lingual bashing.

She whistled a sharp clean whistle. The Inklings and jellyfish previously sat at tables none the wiser now realized their front row seats to the silent verbal bash of a lifetime. "Oh boy." Zip shook her head. "...That window sure is spotless alright."

"I jumped off of the second story to get away from you!" Splin proclaimed with offense.

"That's your fault." Prothe pointed out with crossed arms. "Not my fault you're so impulsive and quick to assume."

Splin vibrated with rage. "URGH! You are one of the most insufferable squids I've met and that says something!"

Ari sneezed as he walked alone.

"This is my thanks?!" Prothe protested. "I put off like three jobs-"

"...Why am I getting angry over you?" Splin scowled and turned his head away. "I should just go home!"

"I could say the same for you." Prothe's eyes narrowed. "But until I help you-"

"Okay!" Splin shouted as his face began to glow blue. "Fine! Yeah! You can help me! Whatever!"

"...Huh." Prothe commented with a cough. "Really?

"Yes, fine, whatever!" Splin's right eye practically burst out of the black lining about his face. "What is it now?!"

"...There go all my other gags." Prothe muttered with a tinge of disappointment. "Might as well get this over with."

Before Splin could react Prothe removed his uniform. Instinctively Splin switched into a squid and reeled back with his eyes shut. He heard the sound of zippers and began to cringe with each passing moments.

" _Ugh."_ Splin thought to himself in disgust.

Slowly and extremely reluctantly he lifted one tentacle. Splin's fears deflated into foolishness. One after another, a new layer of clothing dropped onto the ground, uniforms of several different brands and companies of Inkopolis stripped and dropped on the ground. Splin glanced back up at Prothe.

With a dandy simple black hoodie a pants on Prothe stretched and yawned. "Ah. So refreshing." Glancing back at Splin, still staring with a reluctant expression, he stretched his arms behind his head and started walking off into the distance. "You coming?"

"Fine." Splin groaned and switched back into Inkling form. He adjusted his headphones around his neck. "Where are we going?"

* * *

"..." Splin wanted to be furious. The boy wanted to explode. Like. A volcano. He just could not muster the steam for anything. He felt as though he had wasted all his steam on his overreaction.

"Comfy?" Prothe asked in an earnest voice.

The waves that crashed against the cement dock beneath them sprayed water up towards Splin's Orange Arrows shoes. They fell short, but close enough to cause him to shift back. He cleared his throat. "...Alright. Why did you bring me here?"

Prothe gazed up ahead. To their left an ice cream parlor sat with a large "Closed" sign spotted inside facing outwards at the glass. Ahead of them laid a boardwalk devoid of activity in the slightest. The previously crowded wooden pier that stretched out into the ocean blue laid dormant.

"...This used to be one of my favorite spots to relax." Prothe leaned back on the dock.

Splin shot one eye down towards the waves as they crashed into the stone foundation below. "...Cozy."

"...Back before I had all of these jobs anyways." He coughed in irritation.

"So why did you bring me here?" Splin asked with a rising tone. "Why stalk me? Shrug off all those jobs?"

Prothe sighed and reached into one of his pockets. He retrieved a gray stone that covered his palm and glanced at Splin with a tired expression.

Splin moved to the left a little. "...What?"

"I'm not going to bash you with this." Prothe reassured him. "I just want to provide an example. ...You remind me of someone."

He lifted the stone and, with a flick of his wrist, chucked the rock through the air down at the water. Splin watched as the stone collided with the ocean and sank.

"...That's me." Prothe stated calmly. "To an extent that's also you."

"I don't understand." Splin argued as his eyes gazed at the waves.

Prothe sniffled and reached into his pocket. "I wasn't always like this. Had an alright life. Had a school…"

He retrieved another stone from his pocket. Just like the previous stone he tossed it as if it were a Splat Bomb with expert precision down into the water. Splin could have sworn it splashed in the same location as the other stone.

"It was supposed to be a great school." Prothe spoke without even a nod to Splin. "Beautiful campus. Grass and trees practically littered the place. Even had a Turf War program. My friend and I attended."

He pulled out another gray rock. As he held the ordinary gray stone in his right hand he lifted a smoother orange pebble in his left.

"...How many of those do you carry around? Splin asked nervously.

"I aced every exam." Prothe spoke monotone. "She did too. Shell. It looked like we were going places."

With low growl he let go of the gray rock and let it sink in the water all the way down to the sand. A flock of seagulls called overhead. Prothe hurled the orange rock forward where it aimed down for the surface.

"All of a sudden," He spoke glumly, "Something changed. Things started to beat down on the two of us."

Splin listened with a gulp and focused on the pebble. Much to his surprise it skipped up across the surface of a wave.

"Why…" Prothe's eyes narrowed. "She welcomed me. Never really got annoyed. Always patient with me. Wasn't bothered by anything."

The stone bounced up across the water again. Splin watched the rock carefully.

"Then she changed." Prothe scowled while they watched the stone.

The stone's skips grew gradually smaller. The pebble eventually let itself drown.

Prothe rubbed his eyes. "Cod…" He sniffled. "So young...! Just let her go down that path huh?!"

"...I…" Splin frowned, as his legs dangled off the side, down at the spot where the final stone sank. "I still don't understand."

"You don't?" He shouted out towards the water. "Neither do I! I don't understand!" He spun around and gripped Splin by the shoulders. "The world's against us, Whirl!"

"...Who?" Splin asked and backed away.

Before Prothe could speak any further a loud thunk sounded through the air. Splin and Prothe stared up in shock for different reasons. Prothe was completely taken by surprise while Splin just gawked at the new bruise on his forehead. He began to drop off the side of the doc, let go of his grip, and tilted over towards the water below until Splin gripped him by his collar. Splin slowly realized that his feeble strength was not enough to support an adolescent and a whiny employee.

"Sorry!" A familiar voice called from behind him. The resounding noise of something going 'sploosh' in the drink behind him sounded off just as the voice called. "I thought he was going to- Oh jeez."

Splin felt a new set of hands drag him back further onto dry land. In front of him he watched as Prothe dragged along with him, only, now face down in the cement.

"...Was that really necessary…?" Splin asked the assailant as he looked behind him.

He glanced up at a set of cherry tentacles and blue eyes. "...I panicked. Alright?" Lalai rubbed her right arm as it released its grip on Splin. "Whenever someone does that in Octo Valley they…"

"Wait a minute." Splin said as he ignored the unconscious man behind him. "What are you doing here?"

Lalai crossed her arms. "Pela told me about your breakdown outside Oahu."

Splin blushed and looked away. "That. Right." He stared up at her and gestured his hand back towards Prothe, still laid down, out like a light. "But how did you find us here?"

"..." Lalai gazed back innocently. "Maybe you could tell me how this guy was bothering you over a story?"

"...That's why you-" Splin bit his lip and shot a glance back towards Prothe still sprawled out. "...You know what?" He stood up. "I'm okay with that. ...As long as it's away from here."

Lalai sprung up and beamed. "Alright! I mean, thanks."

The duo began to walk off from the scene of the crime rather rapidly into the modern expanse of the city. The waves as they crashed into the shore and the caws of seagulls continued in the distance and faded from the two's hearing. Prothe continued to lay there on the cement floor. One green tongue flopped out of his mouth in a daze.

"...Why?" He asked in his barely conscious state. Prothe's appendages shrunk and switched into green tentacles. "...Whirl..?"

He shut his squid eyes and

* * *

"...Cod." A sigh. "I don't understand this at all. I just-"

"Really?" Came a scoff. "It's not rocket science."

"Who are you to talk?" Another sigh.

"You're pale." Commented the scoff yet again. "Your shoulders are slumped. How tired are you?"

"...Very." Admitted the sigh. "You're really something. You know that? Really something."

"Just looking out for you." A smirk peeked out. "I can't imagine what I would do without you."

"Sappy." Laughter echoed. "...Still. As annoying as you can be thanks for sticking with me Prothe."

"Of course." Prothe hummed back at her with an air of confidence. "Right back at you Whirl." He glanced towards a clock stamped to a wall. "I think I've got a match soon."

"Aw. Really?" Whirl asked with a tilt of her head. Her blue tentacles glistened.

"Is that disappointment I hear?" Prothe teased back. "I'll ace the losers and I'll be back soon."

"...Okay." She sighed and returned to the book in her lap.

Prothe managed a small hopeful smile. "I'll see you later."

"...Okay." Whirl repeated.

He walked away from her. After a few agonizing seconds he reluctantly he managed to turn away.

* * *

Sharq had just about given up his quest. His binoculars tiredly strapped about his neck and his Banana Basics slowly pounding against the pavement he continued forward. His eyes hardly moved up from the ground.

His hat wriggled for a moment. Ann-Gel lifted it and blinked. "How you feeling."

"Mm…" Sharq sighed somewhat miserably.

"Aw, Sharq." Ann-Gel frowned down at him. She pet his blue head. "Let's just head home. The day's almost over...I'm sure Splin's over it."

Sharq stared upwards. "You really think so?"

 _"No I'm just shooting the breeze I have absolutely no idea whether or not you two will get along after a day apart."_ Ann-Gel blinked. "Of course."

Sharq began to smile until he heard a slight squish noise. He narrowed his eyes and peeked all around him at the sea ahead of him and the boardwalk to his left. "Hm?"

"What is it?" Ann-Gel inquired from underneath his cap.

Sharq felt something underneath his left shoe. He dragged it across the pavement until he no longer felt it. "Nothing. I think I just stepped in something."

"Eww." Ann-Gel scowled and shuffled back into the hat.

"No, it's fine." Sharq chuckled and glanced down at the sole of his shoe. "It's just green ink."

The two continued on their merry way as the sun began to set. The sky dyed itself purple as the sun began its descent over the horizon.

* * *

Prothe woke up and stared upwards at the fading violet of the night sky. The calls of seagulls had vanished with the cover of night as it obscured the day. He felt the weight of his arms slump back on the ground and the throbbing sensation as it pounded in his head. The familiar feeling of a rock slammed into his head hurt but he felt something else all over. It clutched at his chest.

Prothe sat up slowly with the painful beat that echoed in his noggin and buried his face in his hands. "Ohhghhh Cod…" He shouted at the sky. "This is how you reward me for trying to do something nice for once?!"

The moon rose over his head and invited in the stars for a diddly above him. With the stars the cover of night followed and shrouded the area in darkness.

"...Fine." Prothe shook his head and got to his feet unsteadily. "I'm not giving up on the kid though." He slouched over and shambled off. "If I've ever gotten a second chance…Then this is it."

He gazed up at the stars as if for approval. Across his eyes, a twinkle lit up, and a shooting star shot past the stratosphere, briefly lighting up the path ahead and cast a light blue sheen on his dark green tentacles.

"...Alright." He sighed and continued on while his self ached from all over. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be sure to work harder this time around."

* * *

AN: This week on "Pizza Procrastinates"... Eh. I don't even know anymore.

Thanks Arrekusu, Rynowm, write n wrong, and sebastian G for reviewing.

Arrekusu, I appreciate your support, but really, I'll take any criticism that ranges from sugarcoated to no sugar in the slightest. Thanks for the motivation regardless.

Rynowm, I assure you, a toaster was probably the best bet for the Tele-Cube. Who knows what could've happened if it turned into something else…? Like a washing machine.

write n wrong, I agree wholeheartedly, I am excited for Splatoon 2 and Mario Kart Deluxe. I'm not sure about the price ranges but they do look enticing.

Last but not least, sebastian G, I'm grateful, but going religious on me with that is going a little far. Pretty sure God would shun me from existence for adding a chapter of any of my stories to the Bible. Heh. Well, depending on beliefs and all, keeping all that in mind.

Thanks for reading. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle. Remind me to check on Chi.


	67. The Reluctant Rebel (Chi Pt 1)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **The Reluctant Rebel**

Shaking hands grasped the trigger of a weapon, two bluish irises bounced around a nervous palate of white, staring through a steel mask. An Octoling sweated quite profusely underneath the metal goggles, her attention directed at a shooting range, a solitary target stood across from her. The target in question was crafted to resemble an Inkling, but it looked more like a snarling pit bull. Well, granted, she had no idea what that was, but it was something vicious and terrifying, she was sure. Then again, it might just be her own nerves talking, perhaps it is just a fleeting though, in fact, did she remember to dress the part today? Did she-

"C-H1."

She squeaked, fumbling with the weapon, taking care not to drop it. As she sat behind her in a chair her commander judged her with her hands folded in her lap. She bore holes in her squishy octopus soul through her goggles. A feeling of of dread settled within Chi and her hearts felt heavy.

That could have meant two things. One, the obvious, the Octoling was nervous. Two, she was experiencing heart failure, and could lose all functions in her body if she truly lacked any extra hearts.

Either way Chi felt like she would drop to the floor any minute. Heck, even that grin, that stupid grin her target was giving her should have been a reassurance. Across the floor, past a short barricade, a wooden target stood and stared at her. "Stared" is somewhat of an overstatement as the Inkling sort of just gazed blankly back at her.

That stupid, stupid grin, she thought with a distraught whimper, was going to make her cry.

Her face flushed and her eyes fluttered. Chi's grip on the Octoshot shivered and her confidence failed. She turned back around.

"C-H1." Aussie glared back at her.

Chi's eyes began to flutter.

"C-H1, why aren't you moving?" She demanded with a scowl. "The point of this exam is to test your abilities. Your aim. C-H1!"

Startled, Chi gulped and tried with another shaky aim. Her tears proved too much of a haze. She turned back and ran towards the practice range, her boots slammed against the floor as she took off in a run. Though her grip on the Octoshot had been relatively fine and her motive clear it felt as though she had dashed for a century in the wrong direction. The target range seemed so distant yet Aussie's shouts remained ever permeant with the same condescending volume and tone throughout the large room.

"C-H1! C-H1!" She continued to yell in the authoritative parody of a cheer.

The girl gulped as she took aim at the target. The target grew ever closer as she sprinted, confused, but motivated. The Inkling target remained stuck in place with the infuriating grin. Finger firmly pressed against the black trigger she peered towards that stupid smirk and fired.

* * *

"Chi! Ch- BWAAGH!" Was the response.

"Wha?!" Chi gasped as she rose from her cot.

The sputtering sound of an engine dying caught her attention. She took a moment, while sat on her bed, and shot a suspicious glare to her left. Chi felt the soft fabric of a pillow in her left hand and a struggling feeling underneath. A set of propellers spun in protest underneath the unyielding white case. The spun in protest fast enough that the pillow underneath her hands were shredded.

Chi's eyes widened as she tossed the pillow off of her target. "Jerry?!"

The Octocopter's eyes rolled. "Yes'm madam?"

She pulled back her bedsheets. "What are you doing here?"

"Ask myself same question every night before I go bed…" Jerry slurred as the propellers spun about in a dizzy stutter. "I got like three diplomas!"

Chi reached over with her two arms and took hold of the Octotrooper. Similar to a bartender mixing a beverage Chi shook him up and down in a loop until his eyes looked as though they were about to melt.

"Okay that's good I'm good please stop!" Jerry complained. Chi quickly let go of the Octocopter and let him hover in a dazed loop near the ceiling. "Ooogh..."

"Oh geez." Chi shook her head and pushed off of her bed. "Sorry Jer…"

Jerry shook his head. The world righted itself back on its axis in his eyes "Okay. I can get why Tai and Aussie overreact sometimes. But you too?! Are all Octolings conditioned to murder anything that wakes them up?!"

"Um." Chi pursed her lips and lowered her arms at her lap. "...Do you want me to call a medic or something?"

"...I think I'll survive." Jerry sighed as he floated above her. Chi swore she saw a spark fly out from underneath his propellers.

"...Sorry." Chi managed a second time. "So why are you here?"

Jerry's flight pattern fluctuated unsteadily. His violet eyelids swelled a bit, although from the punch or otherwise, Chi could hardly tell. "...Ah...right. Uh...actually the higher-ups sent me."

Chi tensed up. Her blue pupils shrunk tremendously and she garbed herself in her bed sheets as if they were cloaks ready to take care whatever verbal lashing she had in store.

"First thing they wanted to tell me is that they're making flatbread in the lounge now." Jerry told her.

"...What's a flatbread?" She asked cautiously.

"...Some food I dunno." He shook his head. "Like bread except-"

"Okay and?" She probed.

Jerry took a sharp breath. "They want you in Octavio's quarters by 1200 hours."

She cringed back in her bed. "How long until-" The sheepish look on Jerry's face told her all she needed to know. "JERRY!"

"I'm sorry!" Jerry spun rapidly in response. "It's just that- My appointment with the engineers happened to be scheduled today and-" He flusteredly spun about faster and faster. "Oh ship."

For a few seconds Jerry resembled a spinning top. Quickly Chi clamped her hands down on the Octocopter and stared him in the face.

"Your new propeller came in?" She asked curiously and calmly.

The Octocopter gazed up at the blades as they tore through the air in place. "Well…sort of new."

Chi sighed and reached up underneath the blades. She carefully gripped the connecting pieces and unhooked the propeller. As she did she instantly ducked for cover as it whirled overhead. The propeller whirled about the room and made its way out the door. The two octopuses glowered at the exit.

"...'New', just…" Jerry frowned at the exit. "Pre-owned for a day or two."

"We'll get you one later." Chi pat his metal weaponized cap on the cannon nozzle. "Let's just...get this visit over with."

"Alright." Jerry spoke up to her.

"Can you stand?" Chi questioned and let go.

Jerry's ski-like feet lasted about a second on the flat metal ground and gave way. He landed on his face. "No."

Chi swiftly picked him back up and dusted him off. "Sorry! Uh, I'll just carry you for a while."

"Thanks." Jerry muttered in a melancholy daze.

Chi walked outside of her dorm with Jerry lifted in front of her. She left the small steel enclosure of her room and felt the clang of the door as it automatically locked itself shut behind her. Chi blinked and glanced about the hallway with dorm doors aplenty.

She glanced ahead. One of the doors shifted up and down in a malfunctioning mess. "...Tai."

"Dunno why they haven't fixed it yet." Jerry muttered as he peered at the doors. "How long has it been?"

"Months." Chi murmured as she stood still.

The pair of them stared while the door buzzed and jittered and attempted to break free of its spot within the door frame. It shook with all the excitement a door could possibly have. Chi began to move on past the door but not before she peeked in. The empty, messy bed still sat inside.

* * *

Chi blinked. "Which way to the office?"

"Office? Oh shoot, right." Tai spoke by her side. "You're still new here?"

Chi looked up to the other Octoling with the violet tentacles to her side. Tai stretched her two arms behind her head in a relaxed position.

"There ain't an office." Tai told her plainly.

"What?" Chi blinked underneath her goggles. "Then where does Octavio reside?"

"No, no, he has a place where he hangs out. It just isn't an office." Tai explained much to Chi's bewilderment. Tai turned her head and smirked. "Heh! Love that expression. He has one room with almost nothing in it except his big-bass stereo throne."

"...Wha?" Chi narrowed her eyes.

"You've seen the guy haven't you?" Tai spoke up. "He never leaves the base without it. Heck, he hardly travels through the base without it."

"...No." Chi shook her head in response as they continued down the hall. "Only saw him in posters."

"Posters huh?" She arched an eyebrow in curiosity. "I'd love to see one of those."

"Well…" Chi rubbed the back of her head embarrassed.

Tai's head snapped in her direction. "You have one?! Lemme see!"

She blushed a fine violet blue mixture. Her boots squeaked to a stop. "It's...kinda inappropriate...for work standards I think."

Tai leaped up to her face. "Oh this sounds golden. C'mon!"

Chi reluctantly reached behind her and retrieved a small scroll of paper. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

"How bad can it be?" Tai asked for a split second. The scroll unfurled down to the floor and caused Chi to reel her eyes away in an instant. "...What the flip?" Tai cocked one eye at it closely. "He doesn't have abs like that."

"..." Chi's goggles flashed for a second.

"Wait a minute." An amused smile crept on Tai's face. "Is that the reason you joined?"

"No, no!" Chi wrapped the scroll back up quickly and stowed it away. "It just happens to be the one that...got me here. They had a few plastered around my home town."

"Really?" Tai shoved her face towards Chi's.

Chi shook her head rapidly in response. Eyebrows still up and amused Tai flicked her Octoling Goggles around her neck. They revolved around quickly.

"No shame in admitting it to me y'know." Tai yawned and stretched her arms back behind her head. "Only chick Octolings for the most part. Any males are either chilling home or in reserve."

"I just needed somewhere to stay." Chi turned about flustered. "I just wanna get this visit over with."

"Weeeellll," Tai winked in a way that made Chi much more uncomfortable than she had ever felt, "If you ever need someone to keep you company…"

"I'll pass." Chi glared down at the floor.

She felt an elbow prod into her side jokingly. "I'm kidding!" Tai shot her a snarky smile. "There's only one girl in my life I'm willing to bend over backwards for if you catch my-"

"I do." Chi turned away with a blue blush as bright as the sky. "...Sheesh. Does she act like this all the time?"

"Only on weeks." Tai admitted with a sigh. "It's living the life Chi."

"Shouldn't we refer to each other by code-name?" Chi asked. Her voice echoed through the steel hall for a while.

"Don't really care for that carp." Tai huffed in irritation. "Now if you don't use them around Miss Knot-In-Her-Britches you-"

"T-41!" Rang out a cry from down the hall. A set of angry red tentacles homed in from ahead.

"Speaking of which." Tai's impish smile returned seriously back on her face. "Hello Aussie!"

Aussie stomped over towards the two of them menacingly. Her steps bounced all through the halls. "Hurry up! You were supposed to be done with escorting C-H1 an hour ago!"

"Eh." Tai yawned bored. "We got sidetracked."

"Wait…" Chi blinked in confusion. "...You just told me to follow you a few minutes ago."

Aussie's goggles glowed brightly. "Tai!"

"Okay, so I got sidetracked twice." She shrugged her shoulders again. "It's not like Octavio's going to do anything about it."

"Except eject C-H1 from the legion!" Aussie shouted in response.

"Oops." Tai muttered and rubbed the back of her head. "My bad." She turned around back towards the other Octoling. "Well if anything I can just say you were-"

Tai did not finish. Where a worried Chi once stood a cloud of dust floated upwards. The two Octolings still clogged in the hallway together whirled around to the end of the hall where Chi made haste.

"Oh my COD Tai." Aussie shook her head in disapproval and started to sprint. "It's one thing for you to screw up but to actually ruin another's chance at-"

She yawned and ran ahead. "Heard it all before." Tai raised one hand up to her mouth sideways and yelled. "Chi! Chi!"

Chi continued to run in a furiously nervous dash. Her boots skidded across the metal and sounded off like thunder as she, in a panic, shot off through the metal halls. All the while her name was called after her.

"Chi! Chiiiiiii!" Resounded her name.

Though she panted almost breathlessly she managed to tear her head backwards towards the others. "What?"

* * *

"Look out!" The voice changed. Suddenly Chi blinked and glanced down, where, between her arms Jerry hysterically wriggled back and forth. "Plant!"

"...Plant?!" Chi stared upwards. Her eyes widened and her boots slammed into the floor like brakes.

Just narrowly Chi skidded to a stop. The Octoling's face came dangerously close to several rows of spines. On the toes within her boots, she perched but a scarce millisecond away from a potted plant she had never seen before. It was round, green, and tall and had dozens upon dozens of prickly spines that pointed out in all directions in a defensive perimeter.

Two faces glanced back at her from behind. An Octoling with her gloved hands which hefted the pot stared back at Chi. "Holy ship. Nice save Chi!" She smiled. "Guess you wasted no time when away from us!"

"...Ova?" She inquired then glanced at the right of the cactus. "Lee? What are you two doing with...that?"

Ova sighed and tried to lift the potted plant higher. "The cactus? We were sent one by the Inklings as a gift...Now it's meant for a memorial."

Lee nodded solemnly and sniffled. "...It was the only thing that really reminded us of...of…"

Suddenly Lee lowered her head. A single fuchsia tear blinked out from in between her google and her face. She shook her head and glanced up at the ceiling.

"...What are you talking about?" Chi asked curiously.

Ova peered around the cactus at her co-worker. Lee just sniffled again.

She reemerged from behind the cactus. "...Octavio will fill you in."

With that said the two filed off to a separate hall to the left. Though out of eyesight Chi could hear Lee sob. "S-She used to call me a klutz!" She heard her bawl. "Now I'll n-never get to show her how I've-"

"You're getting tears in the cactus…" Ova's voice sighed back.

Chi watched as they went on their less-than-merry way elsewhere. She glares down worriedly at the Octotrooper she held. Jerry had a forlorn, sympathetic gaze fixated where the two stood.

"...What was that about?" Chi asked the smaller octopus.

"Oh! Uh…" Jerry blinked and stared ahead. "Just a bit of redecorating! Why don't we keep going?"

"Lee was crying into a...cactus?" She explained to herself plainly.

"Yeah." Jerry nodded just as plainly and pushed forward. "Let's just leave them to their business. We don't want to be any more late do we?"

"...Alright." Chi spoke reluctantly.

The Octoling took a cursory look about the headquarters. Her eyes narrowed as she scanned the minute details in each wall and floor. With a singular agreement she took off down the hall to her right in the direction she believed the deejay resided.

* * *

"...Sorry." Chi rubbed her arm between the other two.

"Hey, don't sweat it." Tai spoke to her right with a bright smirk. "I got lost my first day here too."

Chi heard something slam into the wall to her left. She swiveled about and saw a seething commander with her fist jammed into the side.

"Ffffugh." Something horrible sounded out from between Aussie's teeth and lips. A puff of smoke drifted its way out into the air from her lips. "I'd court martial you if I could."

"She totally can." Tai remarked, took a step over towards her, and rubbed her elbow on Aussie's. "She just loves me toooo much to let me go."

"Remind me, I'm going to sever this and disinfect this later." Aussie muttered in disgust as she pulled away her arm.

Tai gave an amorous wink to her commander which prompted Aussie to turn her head sideways and as close to the walls as possible as they walked. Chi could hear her mutter something rather violent. Wisely, Chi kept her distance from the pair of "lovebirds", and continued her less than timely stroll down the interior.

Her Octoling Goggles buzzed. "So where is the office anyways?"

Tai took a moment to push off of the wall and launch herself to Chi's side much to Aussie's frustration. "You'll know when you feel the beat."

For a moment Chi was baffled. As the Octoling sauntered forward inquisitively she felt a vibration shiver up her boots. She blinked and glanced down at the metal below her. It fluctuated with a colorful, bizarre, widespread energy. She gazed ahead through her goggles.

"...There it is." Chi spoke up.

* * *

"Yep!" Jerry piped up from within Chi's arms. "Hard to miss huh?"

From the left side at the very end of the long hallway a familiar vibration shook the corridor. The harsh metallic surfaces glimmered with multicolored lights which had escaped from a door at the very back. Jerry's metallic cap where his propeller once spun freely buzzed with a similar vibration to the one which reverberated through the corridor.

Jerry took the time to shift about in her soft biceps and bore into her warily. "You okay?"

Chi nodded albeit unsteadily. "No turning back now." She reached up towards her neck with one arm and grasped. Her fingers reached at thin air. "Clam it. I forgot my goggles…"

"Eh. I don't think you need to worry too much about that." The Octotrooper mentioned reassuringly in her grip. "It'll just be a quick meeting." She strode forward. "I hope."

Chi strode with her head low and her shoulders slumped. She swallowed her nerves and pushed on. The vibrations multiplied until they became miniature tremors. A distinct mixture of melodies and harmonies in a confusing, distorted, yet pleasant beat blared from the room. She bit her lip.

A rumor bounced through her head. _"...Didn't Tai say something about Octavio's discs using mind control?"_

The sudden sound of a bass guitar cleared her thoughts.

" _Probably not."_ She quickly reassured herself.

She bounced into the office quickly. Instantly she gazed up towards the most prominent figure in the room.

The beat bounced in a constant rhythm as Octavio grooved in his seat. Tentacles firmly grasped onto neon green sticks of wasabi, he scribbled and scratched his hearts out, his eyes shut and his mech hovering in a self-induced trance.

Chi tried to call out. Her voice was instantly lost in the music. She furrowed her brow and stood somewhat closer to the giant robot throne/turntable and yelled. No dice. After a few frustrating (though very groovy seconds) Chi started to jump and wave frantically.

The music began to die down in a cacophony of blasts and beeps. Octavio chuckled to himself as his hearing slowly reverted to normal. "Just what I needed."

"...vio! Octavio! Down here!" He heard some sort of mouse squeak back at him.

"...Hm?" Octavio arched his brow up. He, and to that extent, his throne turned down towards the floor. "Oh, Chi. Fancy seein' you down here!"

She rubbed underneath her tentacles where her ears might be. "Ugh. You called me down here."

"...Did I?" Octavio frowned and gazed up at the ceiling. "Hmm. I did, but I can't quite remember."

Jerry cleared his throat and spoke up. "Sir? If I may jog your memory-"

"Jerry!" Octavio peeped one of his great green eyes downwards. "Where'd your propeller fly off to?"

"Well…uh…" Jerry felt as though he had shrunk. "It's a long story…"

"Did you let it fly off without you?" Octavio snickered in his seat. "Ha! That's a new one!"

"Octavio, if I could ask-" Chi chimed in.

It had been fruitless. "Can't ever say I've heard that one before." Octavio shook his head in amusement. "Although, during the Great Turf War-"

"You mentioned TAI and AUSSIE earlier?!" Jerry cried out in desperation.

All of a sudden the jolly countenance upon Octavio's features shrunk out of existence. "Ah. Yeah, that…" He sighed deeply. "...Jerry, would you mind sittin' outside for this?"

"...I-I mean, I would…" The Octotrooper spoke as he scraped by the metal with his ski-pole foot.

"...Nevermind." Octavio's mech's fists folded together behind his back. It floated around to face the wall behind him. "...Chi."

Chi bit her lip and respectfully knelt down. "Yes sir?"

"...I assure you're already aware of Tai and Aussie's…er…absence." Octavio murmured with a hint of awkwardness.

"They've been absent for months sir." Chi acknowledged in response. "...A scouting mission right?"

"Right." Octavio affirmed with a sigh. "...Their goggle signals haven't been tracked for quite some time. It's not uncommon for our troops to go scavengin' for months deep in enemy territory...but this is...well…"

Chi grew all the more concerned when he sighed again. "What is it?"

"...There's no easy way to put this Chi." Octavio's ginormous robot hands unfurled. "The council's been sorta…'dead-set' on this decision."

A rim shot rang out from the machine. Octavio's eyes perked up all of a sudden. Though she faced his back Chi could still hear frantic button presses and adjustments.

"Sorry." He admitted.

"...You're not saying they're…?!" Chi's eyes widened.

Octavio turned about for a split second. His gaze met Chi's for an even shorter time and caused him to turn back away. "I'm sorry. All precautions have been set, we've called Aussie's remaining relatives. It's...all been taken care of. Mostly anyways."

"So then the cactus…" Chi's face lit up in horror. And mild amusement. But mostly horror. "NO! They can't be dead!"

Octavio sighed and glanced down. "I don't like it anymore than you do. But at this time it's almost impossible to guarantee their safety Chi."

"Why tell me this now then?!" Chi cried out in indignation. "Why not let Jerry-"

"Er…" Octavio scratched under his green "x"-shaped scar sheepishly. "That's... one of the things I needed to tell you. We haven't yet notified...Tai's relatives yet."

Chi's elbows slumped. Her heartbeat began to blare almost as intensely as the beat of the music before.

"...We couldn't really...break the news to Miss Inaba herself." Octavio murmured in embarrassment. "There's been several...setbacks. Some rebel camps and...uh...other complications have kept us from...breaking the news to Mai." He swallowed. "So we were hopin', seeing as you and Tai are buddy-buddy, that you-"

He heard a thump. Octavio and his oversized mech spun around. One octopus stood up at him and stared in absolute shock. Chi on the other hand laid on the floor with fear etched into her unconscious features.

"...Well." Octavio cleared his throat in the presence on Jerry. "I've got a map to the section of Octo Valley she's residing in, you don't mind breakin' it to her when she comes to, huh?"

Jerry shook his head. "W-Why me?"

"Because!" Octavio clamored back. "I've...er...got an important call incoming from…" His eyes shifted back and forth. "...Cuttle...fish. He says that I need to leave now to go...supervise...the-"

Before he could let himself finish one of Octavio's mech fists burst up in the ceiling. Octavio blinked and managed a small grin before he and his hovercraft took off through his new sunlight out into the air of Octo Valley.

"It'll all work out!" Octavio's booming voice called out. "Trust me!"

Jerry squinted as light and debris poured into the now cluttered office space. From the cloud of debris a single scroll of paper floated down from above and landed amidst the chaotic mess. He glanced down at Chi. Her mouth was contorted in a fearful, silent cry. Her eyes were shut but clenched tightly as if she expected the worst.

"..." Jerry blinked once. "What a day to lose your propeller." He sighed and tapped her on the forehead with his metal cap's nozzle. "Chi? You there?"

* * *

Chi blinked up at the bizarre machination that floated in front of her. For a supposed dictator Octavio was certainly something else. She eyed his samurai helmet and his turntable bizarrely.

"So, you wanna be in the Octoling legion do you?" Octavio spoke to her.

Chi swallowed her fear and gazed up at the octopus with the bright green scar. "Y-Yes sir."

Octavio gave her a less than amused stare. "Well kid, let me tell you, you've made a pretty decent impression. You showed up, but you're late as all shell."

She folded her hands behind her back timidly. "...Right. Yeah. Sorry."

"I did hear something from the others though." He muttered down at her from his vessel. Octavio stared at her in clear interest. "You helped T-41, if my ears haven't given out yet, repel a few hipsters didn't you?"

"...Hipsters?" She inquired back at the octopus.

"Heh! Recruits." He smirked and shook his head back at Chi. "The agents. Inklings. You helped didn't you?"

"Eh…" Chi shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, yeah, but Tai- Erp. T-41 did most of the work."

"Ah, don't be modest." Octavio waved a tentacle at her. "Most don't even come back alive to tell the tale!"

Somehow Chi was not any reassured. She gazed about the almost completely empty metal room. "Does...this mean I've got the position?"

"Eager ain't you?" Octavio teased with a proud grin. "Almost. We just need you and a few others to perform a mission. Sort of like an initiation."

Chi froze in place. "...Doesn't have to do with any target ranges does it?"

The resulting laugh bellowed almost as vibrantly and echoed as much as the music that played beforehand. "You newbies, always with the firing range! But no, no, enough of the firing range." His chuckle stopped. "There's been a bit of a rebellion as of late."

"...Rebellion?" Chi's eyebrows rose in curiosity.

"Not everyone's going to agree with you. War-wise at least." Octavio rubbed a mellow song on his records. It filled Chi with a sort of newfound curiosity. "Enemy's been trying to derail us from outside and from within. Inklings aren't necessarily the only threat. Get me?"

"Yes, I think I do." Chi nodded patiently.

"Just so happens that there's a camp of rebels stationed not too far from here. We need you-" He began.

Yet again Chi froze with concern.

Octavio's smile return. "And a few other troops to assist you in getting 'em out. Think you're up for the task?"

Chi bit her lip. Two hands rested on her cheeks while her legs laid crossed over each other. Octavio's words bounced all throughout her head in a rhythm not unlike the music. As the words echoed through her head she managed to blink once back towards the exit of the room. Outside two other Octolings waited for her. A few words being exchanged in less than pleasing manners slipped through under the cracks of the room's door.

"...Do I…" Chi turned towards the dictator. "Do I get to choose who helps me…?"

Octavio's smirk grew. "Be my guest. Long as you get the job done."

Chi nodded up towards him. "...I'll try my best."

* * *

AN: Told you I'd check on Chi.

Thanks Arrekusu, Ultrapyre, write n wrong, and sebastian G for reviewing!

I always appreciate the compliments Arrekusu. I can understand not being a very acute critic. That's fine. I enjoy reading what readers have to say regardless.

It appears anticlimax is an unfortunate circumstance of this story Ultrapyre. I suppose it's due to a lack of me not figuring out how to end chapters. Whoopsiedoodles. Suppose it was that or the narration. Well I'll see what I can do.

I assure you write n wrong that the majority of Callie's driving will...hopefully not extend past San Andreas standards. That being said, I'm not sure how far GTA: SA's driving physics extend. Lock your doors just in case. Splatoon 2 is just around the corner and who knows whether or not Callie will return with a bang. And a tank full of gas.

Thanks for your input as always sebastian G. Nice seeing you sort of keep up with the story in a sense.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, now with seventy-five percent more Fire Emblem Heroes in your schedule.


	68. Tai Writes Fanfiction

A very unexpected first AN: Now that everyone's leaving Fanfiction I can pretty much write whatever I want. Hahahah…AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! I CAN LITERALLY WRITE WHATEVER I WANT! TIME TO CREATE MY MASTERPIECE! I will rule these archives with my bare hands and a keyboard in my lap! My conquest begins now!

 **Splatoon: The Lazy Octoling**

 **Tai Writes Fanfiction**

 **(Because I wanna read other stories too. I'm so lonely. None of my friends talk to me anymore.)  
**

Hey nerd. It's uh...the Super Bate Brothers Super Show.

They're the Bate Brothers and running's' their game, they're not like the others who get all the fame. If your species' in trouble you can call them on the double, they're lesser than the others you'll be hooked on the Brothers. HUH.

Alright now that that's out of the way let me tell you a story. It begins underground away from Inkopolis in a simple room. There slept a beautiful Octoling beloved by many. Her face, sullen with the worry that she'd have to go out and pretend to work, but her body rocking. The dull, metallic room she rested in glowed with a beautiful energy which combined into a holy light that just glowed off in a flipping glow of pure, unadulterated, unrestrained concentration of codliness.

This Octoling went by the name of Tai. Or T-41 if you're a lame idiot.

"...That's the most narcissistic way to start off a story ever, Tai."

"Why? I think it's pretty hot."

"No. I mean, who starts their story off dictating that they're the narrator? There's a thing called the fourth wall. You can't just go-

"Okay, well, then how about this."

But instead of starting off where the story should have, we actually go to some abandoned shack on the hill that looks like it's about to fall apart at any second. Inside of the house laid two Inklings who shared blue tentacles and tan skin.

"Eh?"

"...I already don't like where this is going."

I do.

"And you're using the narrator voice."

Shell yeah I am. No wonder Ari talks to himself like this all the time.

They slumbered in their cots, rolling back and forth, rustling their blankets as they went. The one laid out on the bed to the right snored like a helicopter being drowned. This was Splin and he doesn't know what calm means.

"Shut up."

To the left is everyone's favorite brother. The one that has no personality except for smiles. This is Sharq and he sleeps with his cap on his head.

"First of all you're lucky Sharq isn't here. Second of all how do you know what our sleeping habits are?"

I watch you sleep.

"..."

Suddenly their clock began to ring. Its rings sounded startlingly and out of the blue. The only responsible action these two savages had in mind for this marvel of machinery was to bash it. They leapt to their feet and took turns curb-stomping the clock until it resembled nothing but scrap.

"Oh man we sure showed that clock who wears the pants!" Sharq exclaimed and wiggled his hands up in the air because I don't know. "High five Splin!"

Sharq raised his palm towards Splin. He just scoffed and turned around. "A high five isn't going to clear the darkness in my soul."

"...I don't sound like that."

Yes you do listen. Splin glanced towards the sky. "No one here is on my level. Everyone else here is a flipping idiot. Ugh. Where's my headphones? I need to listen to some death metal."

"I don't actively listen to death metal. W-Where are you getting this from anyways?"

"I hate you but I still love you in an unrequited way." Splin cursed and stacked another pair of Designer Headphones I think they're called on his other headphones. Why do Inklings purposely blast their ears until their deaf I have no idea.

"Aw, I love you too!" Sharq spoke up with a gleeful grin. "I'm going to ignore you being irredeemably rude and play in some Murder Wars!"

"Turf Wars."

Same thing. Anyways Sharq waltzed out of the door out into the sunshine and rainbows of Inkopolis and had a good time slaughtering innocent fellow Inklings while Splin sat at home with his headphones plugged into the television thing. He played video games like a loner until he got bored and started sulking himself to sleep because he's sad for some reason.

The end.

* * *

Tai placed down her sheet of paper on the brothers' counter. She stood up and leaned on the table, brushed one particularly long violet tentacle out of her face; her elbow tapped a small mug, and glanced back over towards the right way into the back of the room, and smiled. "How was that?"

Splin's legs dangled off his bed motionlessly. Hands locked together under his chin, he glared back at the Octoling, eyebrows locked in a scowl. The alarm clock remained stationed on the dresser in between him and his brother's beds and beeped, beeped, and beeped, almost like the ticks of a time-bomb. If Splin had the capability of understanding what inanimate object language was he would understand how much the clock wanted to disassemble itself at that moment.

Not that it mattered much. Splin shut his eyes, adjusted his headphones, and flopped back on his bed. He reached backwards for his pillow, lowered it down to his face, inhaled, and-

"Mmmmmmmmmugahg!" The filtered scream called out from the other side.

"Great!" Tai smiled, reached back and took a swig from the mug, and hopped off towards the exit of the house. She skipped across the wooden floors creating a 'tip tap' sound as she went. "I think I'll show this to Auss and the others next!'

Though all he could see was pillow, Splin heard the door open and slam shut carelessly, and the sound of his own drained sigh. The house collapsed into silence aside from the very annoyed, or the very depressed, sounds of the sentient alarm clock at Splin's side "Voice?"

Yes?

He removed the pillow from his face. "Please do something."

What do you have in mind?

"Can't you like...set fire to that paper or make it blow away in the wind?" Splin's brown eyes strained upwards. "I just don't want anyone else reading or listening to...that."

Sorry, I can't do that.

"Well why not?!" Splin jumped up into the air as a squid and landed as a kid now in front of his cot.

Because the chapter's already finished.

Splin arched a blue eyebrow. "Wh-"

* * *

AN: This is what the story would've been had it not been for you good Samaritans giving me criticism all the time. I could've made the most ironic fanfiction ever using all of the overused parody trope for fun but then this story happened.

Speaking of those good Samaritans let's see those reviews again in slow motion. Thanks Ultrapyre and write n wrong for micromanaging me.

It's okay Ultrapyre, they're already dead to me, feel free to use them at your leisure!

I appreciate your punctual input as always write n wrong I've been wanting to expand on Chi rebelling against the oppressive system of Octavio for too long man. Fight the mainstream.

But on a more serious note I do sincerely hope Splatoon 2 gets more people invested again.

Thanks for reading this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle on multiple layers of irony. See you next time on my thrilling adventures of narration as we watch as Rem and Ix completely abandon the brothers to a lifetime of loneliness in Dimension Number Nothing.

See you squid cowboys(and girls).


	69. Not-So-Secret Admirer (Valentine's Day)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Not-So-Secret Admirer**

Pirah stood at the door of the wooden shack on the hill with a smile on her face and dimples in her cheeks. She rapped on the door with her right knuckle pleasantly.

" _I wonder if this is enough."_ Pirah stared down at her left hand. She carried a staunch bouquet of daisies. _"Took me forever to get all of these. I'm sure Phish will understand!"_

Behind her several patches of grass laid now barren and brown. In fact, the hills around the house were almost entirely plain and devoid of grass. Despite the fact she systematically slaughtered row after row of flower Pirah continued to hum with all the innocence of a newborn. She clutched the bouquet label tight. She suddenly glanced down at the bunch of picked daisies. The label read, "Happy Teuthadine's Day".

" _...Maybe he doesn't celebrate this holiday."_ Biting her lip and glancing back, she surveyed the countless fjords of flower murder, and went right back to gazing at the door. "...But then again…"

She furrowed her brow restlessly. Curiously, she stepped towards the windows, and peeked in. Even if Pirah squinted her eyes the dark lighting made it difficult for her to make out anything.

"...Maybe he isn't home." Pirah hummed and shifted around. _"...Where else would he be?"_

Pirah's trepidation burst out into a frustrated growl. She slammed her face on the door and sighed deeply.

"C'mon Pirah." She spoke to herself. "He's just your friend and this is just a friendly thing. You didn't leave Xarius by himself just to stand outside."

* * *

Back at Pirah's dainty little apartment Xarius sat upon his small bed in his equally small room. The small squishy blue squid gazed about bored with one stubby tentacle on what appeared to be his cheek.

"...Oy." He squeaked to himself. Xarius felt a rumbling from deep within him. "...Where does Pirah keep the sweets jar again?"

With that said he slid off his puffy cot unceremoniously and shuffled off out of his room. A few seconds past and the aroma of smoke began to fill the apartment.

* * *

All of a sudden Pirah gazed up at the sky. "It's just a holiday. Get it over with."

She took in a deep breath and reached upwards to knock on the door. While she did she hardly noticed the line of black that trailed up from the city behind her. As soon as her knuckle graced the door it suddenly flung open. Pirah blinked in confusion, poked her head inside, and looked around.

The house's light was dim aside from the light that flowed in from the Pirah-sized hole current and stagnant in the roof and the light that flowed in through the glass panes to the side of the doors. She squinted, switched into a squid, and sneaked in across the floor. Not before she reached back with her tentacle and smacked the door back into its rightful place. With all of the pacing and stealth of a snake, she went off slithering across the ground, or at the very least squishing herself across the floor.

Pirah arched her small head up towards the corner of the room shrouded in darkness. A lone bed laid with its bedding strewn about. Nothing laid within its disheveled sheets. Pursing her lips, she began morphing back upright into an Inkling, then turned her attention to the right. Through the bit of light she had she noticed the stove, the fridge, and the counter cluttered with letters and pens.

Pirah shrugged her shoulders and turned around. "Wait a minute!"

She practically body-slammed the table as she spun back towards the kitchen. Clusters of letters flapped up into the air and were instantly snagged by a very cautious Pirah. Carefully, she surveyed the house, specifically the door, and turned her attention back to the multiple different letters.

"...Hm." Pirah plucked one up quickly. The envelope was stamped with a doodle of an octopus. "What's this?"

She flicked open the flap of the letter and reached inside. A worn letter yielded itself to her sight.

 _Hey Squidiot,_

 _I know we haven't talked in a long time. There's a good reason for that somewhere. I just wanted to talk to you again. ...Even though this is technically writing._

Pirah furrowed her brow. She continued reading.

 _I've never been much for letters. I wish I could talk to you up personal again, but you and I know that's not going to happen. Unless you manage to get into the valley somehow. …_

"Dot, dot, dot?" Pirah read aloud.

 _...You remember how we used to share a sleeping bag?_

Pirah's eyes widened and a hue of blue crossed her face.

 _Heh. Well if I'm honest I kinda just stole it from you. Sorry about having to lay on the grass all the time._

Pirah sighed in relief.

 _...Phish, even if this makes me sound like a real catfish, I miss you. You're like my best friend. And I don't hold that lightly. Not a lot of people deserve that title. We might've been through shell and back, but honestly, that war was probably a few of the most fun days I've had in my life. Now I'm not saying we start another one. People still died. But all I'm saying is that if I had the chance to relive it all over again...I wouldn't mind it._

She took up a seat on a stool by the counter. Pirah felt humbled; she laid her right elbow on the counter sheepishly as she read.

 _Well, that's all I can say. This paper that I stole is starting to run out. If we ever meet again I hope it isn't in a warzone._

 _See you. Octojerk_

Pirah lowered the paper. She sniffled sympathetically and gazed up at the ceiling. With that she respectfully folded the page back up and stuffed it back into its rightful envelope. Pirah adjusted her Black Arrowheads and placed the letter back on the table. As she did a peculiar beam of light fixed itself on her. Her eyes widened.

Phish stared back just as wide-eyed at the door with one hand on the knob and the other behind him. "...Uh…"

Pirah plopped down on the floor and scrambled to get up to her feet. She stood up with her bouquet behind her back. "Sorry!"

The ensuing conversation became a jumbled mix of excuses and apologies. Phish stammered and asked something while Pirah managed a flustered smile all while she hid her flowers behind her back. They stopped all of a sudden, stood rigidly straight, composed themselves and glared ahead.

"...You broke in again?" Phish inquired rhetorically.

Pirah nodded in embarrassment. "I...yeah." Suddenly her grip on the bouquet tightened and she started to shiver somewhat. "But it was for a good reason! I-"

"Well, before you say anything, can I give my two cents on this?" Phish asked with an eyebrow cocked.

"...Sure." She managed sheepishly. Pirah looked up and at him.

"Okay, good, I was worried this might end up being as cliché as possible before the proposal." Phish sighed in relief.

" _Proposal?!"_ Pirah blinked in shock.

Out from behind Phish's back was his left hand. In his left hand he carried three small heart-shaped boxes. Pirah gazed up at him. He adjusted his tie with his right hand nervously.

"It was...sort of lucky you managed to pop in." He sighed and gazed up at the ceiling. "Cod, I can't believe I'm asking you this." Phish directed his stare right back at Pirah. "Pirah, will you-"

"Yes!" She cried out and tackled him to the floor.

"Oof!" He grunted as he fell to the wooden floor below. Phish peered back at her. "I think that's a little much for a Teuthadine's Day present don't you?"

"I don't care!" Pirah beamed and stuffed her bouquet of flowers in his face. "Thank you so much! I'm so sorry I peeked into your letter! Here, Happy Teuthadine's Day!"

"...Wait you did what?!" He stammered.

The two Inklings squirmed and eventually stopped their impromptu gift session on the floor. As Phish's scolding words began to ring out from the house a pair of seagulls flocked on top of his house. The two gulls landed gracefully on the roof and hopped towards one another. They nestled closely and began to squawk at one another quite profoundly all while the squids below them continued to yelp and cry out in a very awkward symphony.

* * *

Elsewhere but miles off into the distance there laid a mountain. This mountain, if one could call it that, along with several others comprised a simple rock formation. They clustered together in a the form of a valley with one very large octopus-shaped rock formation overlooking the deep abyss below.

Upon one single mountain laid a shack almost indescribably invisible to the naked eye. It sat underneath the great octopus' tentacle and above the scar etched in between the rocks. Just outside of the shack there lay an Octoling, still blessed with youth, yet a discreet sense of age in her violet eyes.

Garbed in a very simple sweater and black pants she gazed wistfully at the sky. Stacked at the wall besides her laid a simple "T"-shaped bamboo staff. She sighed, rested her head back, and listened to the wind as it whistled by, tousling her tentacles as a result.

"...Happy Teuthadine's Day to me." She sighed and closed her eyes peacefully. "Hope you're having a good one too."

She rested back with a content sigh with one hand on the Bamboozler.

* * *

AN: Oh hey look for once I'm actually kinda early to the holiday. ...It's not going to make up for Squidsmas or New Year's, that's for sure. Maybe this year I can actually write on time for once!

...Ha.

Thanks write n wrong, Arrekusu, and Darkstar248 for reviewing!

I'm not sure anyone would survive Tai's dominion of fanfiction write n wrong. It would be an apocalypse, a deluge if you will, of the lowest quality attempts at stories. They wouldn't really be stories as much as talking into a microphone.

Arrekusu, if you do that to your story, be prepared. You never know what might happen. I openly welcome you to do that but at this same time encourage you to exercise extreme caution in writing things like that. It can be...too silly for our minds to properly process logic.

Darkstar248, good point, I know I've already gone over this whole song and dance with you but I'd like to address that issue right here and right now.

I'd like to address something recently that's been admittedly...bugging me. This may come off as selfish, and may, quite frankly, just waste a few seconds of your life, but if you're willing to read go right ahead. Otherwise thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle.

* * *

...Oh, you're still here? Well...if you REALLY want to here me rant then I suppose I'll go right ahead. Feel free to leave your cursor on the screen, take a few snacks, and maybe get a drink because this rant is not going to be a short one.

The whole "Everyone's leaving fanfiction" bit, I think Ultrapyre, TheSwimmingSquid and I are a few of the only guys who have noticed. I've also already informed Darkstar248 about this but seeing as you guys are still here I suppose I should give my two cents.

There have been some new writers popping up here and there and good old SwimmingSquid is still chugging strong with Inkinators, but as of late a majority of the older mainstay writers, mainly the very popular ones and the Shared Universe, have gone off their own way.

It's probably completely selfish of me to think that way but the way I see it everyone has ditched Fanfiction with prolonged hiatuses to boot. Like, uh, I hate to bring her up as an example, but apikachua as a writer decided to leave after the reviews I believe. ...Which I believe may have been partially my fault. Even if I was no longer a fan of their stories it feels sad that they left their story because of less than positive reviews, which may have included my own input on their writing.

It's not just them. As I have mentioned before people such as the revered "Shared Universe" Splatoon writers' group which I GUESS I used to be a part of disbanded later and everyone left. Well, most everyone, DreadAngel, those you may or may not know, still occasionally comes by to criticize other stories. A few others like LuckyMiltank still have the desire to update, but their personal lives appear to have taken their toll on them. Most of them moved over to tumblr and update their characters and RP over there with the likes of other more famous Splatoon blogs like "Lee Squidly" or whatever.

At this point you may be wondering what the shell I have been rambling about. Well gang, I'm glad you asked, because I am actually sort of lonely in a sense. Regardless of your opinion on the guy, the only other Splatoon writer I've been able to read and collaborate with has been Ultrapyre, and I've enjoyed his story and updates. However, it feels lately that he, TheSwimmingSquid, and I, as narcissistic as this may sound, are the only "veterans" of this site who update anymore. I'm not saying it out of meanness. I just miss...reading other peoples' stories.

Although I miss reading their stories, I do also feel glad for them, because this means they've sort of left behind Fanfiction and actually decided to live their lives. And...darn. Good for them...good for them.

Uh, sorry for the lack of any prestigious vocabulary and the rant, but I hope that explains your question. You seem to still be around reading as well as others but in my eyes there are little to none in familiar faces that update their stories as frequently anymore.

(Even though I only update like once in a blue moon as of late but that's beside my admittedly hypocritical point)

I just really miss reading other stuff. I consider myself a reviewer/reader of stories on these archives first and a writer second. With so little activity on this website that falls to me and few others to serve as the writers who send out material. Problem is, we're so few and far between, that, we cannot sustain our stories for any new audiences nor can we properly entertain those who want to read.

Let me elaborate one last time. We have dedicated fans, and by dedicated, I mean have the decency to leave reviews which is always nice. But I feel as though as soon as the popular writers left so did the swarm of avid readers. I mean, popular Splatoon artists on tumblr always seem to get flocks of fans, but we over here have no one to entertain or tell stories to in comparison to their large numbers. This wouldn't be such a problem if we still had a "community spirit" among us, which, basically dictates several ready-to-write authors writing stories for several excited fans. In layman's terms we need morale and I think we're lacking quite a bit in the archives.

Quite frankly I think we're floundering. Hard. I understand that some people write for fun, others to express ideas, etc. so on and so forth. But in my honest, honest opinion, without an outgoing community with tons of fans open to other ideas and stories we're stuck in a hole in the ground. ...At least in terms of content. I'd be fine like this, just writing, and having people jump in from time to time to critique my ideas, but at the same time I don't want this place to die out.

Now, before we do anything, I'm not saying we advertise our fan fiction on other sites or we start updating like crazy to be relevant. I think that's foolhardy and simply destroys the fun in what we do. I'm just putting out my woes. We can't force anyone back or tell them what to do to their stories. I'm just a little miffed at this abandoned beehive of an archive with nothing to do and nearly nowhere to go.

Then again folks Splatoon 2 is right around the corner. Hopefully that sparks up some creative juices! Preferably in strawberry flavor.

I'd also like to say that I'm thankful for the fans of this story for sticking around for so long just to read literal creative spit-balling posted in story form. It means more than you know to me. Just seeing something as simple and silly as this get this much support from this many people. I just hope that others can experience the same thing along with me and feel as though they are accomplishing something more than wasting keyboard strokes or posting with no responses.

Thanks again for reading this rant of mine, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I...may hypocritically go on an absence after this actually. ...Shoot. Really got myself trapped in a box here. Well I suppose you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. I'll see all of you next time.


	70. Hidden from the Masses (Chi Pt 2)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Hidden From the Masses**

Dink! Dink!

"...Mmh…" Chi muttered and turned her head. Curled up in a fetal position she scrunched her face. "Later…"

Dink! Dink! Dink!

She swatted at her forehead dismissively with a frown. "No...I wanna sleep."

Dink! Dink! Din- BONK!

"Ow!" Chi exclaimed and swatted up at her forehead. She rubbed at a particularly red spot of skin and winced.

"Oh hey!" She heard someone call down at her. Chi's eyes fluttered open and instantly narrowed as the harsh daylight streamed in through the hole on the roof. Luckily for her an Octocopter shaped shadow loomed over her and protected her from the sun's rays. "Phew! I was getting worried for a second."

"...Jerry?" Chi slurred almost drunkenly and attempted to stand. "Agh!" She recoiled and felt her forehead. "My head…"

"Ooh…" Jerry inhaled through his lips sharply. "Yeah...sorry. You were…" He spun his metal cap around and hid his weapon. "Struck by a ceiling tile."

"...No wonder my head feels so…" She groaned in irritation.

"Yeah…" Jerry bit his lip ashamedly. "Uh, you remember what we're supposed to do?"

"...Something something Inaba." Chi murmured in a daze.

"Yeah!" Jerry chimed in gleefully. "We're going to...uh, see Tai's mom right?"

Suddenly Chi leaned backwards. Slowly it seemed as though the consciousness in her eyes slowly returned. They also returned with a few pounds, it seemed, as Chi began to sink backwards.

"Uh oh." Jerry spoke as his metallic legs scratched across the metal floor.

Before Chi could land on her back Jerry rushed as best as he could without any flexible limbs. Launching himself behind Chi, he began bracing himself, curling up in the cushiest form he could manage. Chi landed with the back of her head down on top of Jerry's tail.

"Ooogh…" She grit her teeth. "Thanks Jerry."

"You're welcome." Jerry muttered and attempted to lift them both. He waited for the strain on his head and the whirl above- "Oh wait."

"...So." Chi sighed in exasperation. "We're actually going to see her?"

"...Yep." Jerry spoke up.

The Octoling covered her face with one violet-blue tentacle in shame. "...Is she still mad at me?"

Jerry looked up to the sky outwards. Clouds began to crowd the sun's space. "Well...I'm not really obligated to keep track of those type of things to be honest."

"...Okay." She whimpered in earnest terror.

"Don't worry, I've got your back." Jerry spoke up.

She turned around and pat Jerry underneath her back. "...Thanks for trying to cheer me up. But I don't think we can do it without a miracle."

Jerry nodded in solemn agreement. The two remained still on the floor surrounded by debris of all shapes and sizes.

"I said," Chi reiterated with a frown, "We really need a 'miracle', like, some help from an OUTSIDE FORCE."

Another shard of sheet metal dropped from the ceiling with a clang as it stabbed itself into the floor next to them. Chi continued to gaze up towards the sky expectantly while Jerry continued to lay underneath her in confusion.

"...Um?" Jerry glanced around. "What are you doing?"

"...I was trying the thing where...Tai or...Splin and Sharq talk to the sky." Chi admitted slowly until the words felt foreign and pretty stupid when she uttered them. She bit her lip. "I mean, it kinda worked for them. I was just hoping...that we could get some help?"

She stared up at the rays of light as they beamed down on her. As she glared up underneath the sun's rays Chi swore she could see something. A small shadow blotted out a thin ray that shone down on the octopuses. A small scrap of paper landed square down on her round nose. She blinked, reached up at her face and plucked it off her dainty muzzle, and inspected it.

"'No'." She read aloud. Chi groaned and squished her head back further onto Jerry. "Really?"

"Urk!" Jerry squeaked behind her.

Immediately she stood up and turned around. She knelt down and wrapped her arms around the smaller octopus, hefted him up, and stood straight.

"Sorry Jerry." She told the octopus. "I'll leave you off at your dorm to wait for your new propeller."

"What? And leave you going into no man's land by yourself?" Jerry cried out in a sort of offense. "Chi, c'mon, I'm not going to leave you all high and dry. I'll tag along and-" His cannon adhered to his helmet snapped ahead. "You know. Heck, we might even find-"

An incessant buzzing noise came about. Their eyes flashed skywards, where lo and behold, a gray blur spun about in an endless revolution. It persevered upwards and onward out of the hole in the ceiling into the great blue much to Jerry's horror.

"There it is!" Jerry nearly screamed. He wriggled hopelessly in Chi's grip. "What are we waiting for."

Chi sighed and leapt towards the door. "Alright, guess we're going!"

With the pounding of feet and the whirring sound of the Octocopter's fan ascending into infinity and beyond fading into the distance soon the headquarters were silent again. The debris scattered on the floor began to rest in place alongside the metal walls and floor.

* * *

On the land above several "blocks" of land floated in an eternal suspension above the great abyss of Octo Valley. The valley ran deep and wide in a roundish crater protected by several rocks arranged in a mishmash of brown. Among the blocks laid several white tea kettles seemingly embedded into the ground.

Behind a collection of trees and rectangular structures laid one such seemingly ordinary kettle. Out from the top popped out two young arms and a face barren of masks with a smile. "...Ah." Tai breathed in deeply. "Smell that fresh air guys?"

Behind her another Octoling grunted and made her way up. Aussie adjusted her goggles in irritation. "I could hardly smell anything inside there." She gazed around and took a mental note of the natural and octopus-made features. "Still...it is beautiful isn't it?"

A whistle noise came from the side. One of the kettle's spouts spewed smoke in a proud manner. Both of the Octolings felt a vibration beneath them. They casually stepped outside of the kettle, with a quick hop outside in a compact octopus form, and reformed into their respective red and violet Octoling shapes adjacent to the kettle.

A whisper emanated from the hole, which slowly grew into a shriek, which gave way to a full fledged scream. From within the kettle the distinct shape of a fellow octopus launched out and tumbled in an arc onto the ground below. "...Ow." Chi complained as she shakily lifted herself off of the pavement.

"How's the weather down there Chi?" Tai asked as she stepped in front of her. She offered one hand down in front of her face.

Chi glanced over at Aussie. "Will I get court-martialed if I bite her?"

"By all means." Aussie shrugged and stared.

She sighed and grabbed hold of Tai who lifted her up with ease. Tai flashed her a toothy grin. "Getting a little dirty now aren't we?"

Chi instantly let go of Tai's hand and backed off. "You're scaring me."

"No, like, literally this time." Tai snickered in earnest. She cleared her throat and gestured down at Chi's chest-plate covered in dirt.

Chi glanced down flustered at the metal strapped across her torso. Her flusters faded away when she realized they were coated in a thin layer of dust. She brushed herself off and walked past Tai with a huff.

"Welcome to my personal shell C-H1." Aussie grumbled and walked alongside her.

"Is it true what she said?" Chi jabbed a thumb behind her at the ungraceful soldier as she lounged about in the sun leisurely. "'Every week'?"

Aussie did not smile. "Week. Month. Year. You name it." She shook her head in disapproval. "She's like a plague. Except instead of making your entrails feel as though they're melting she makes your IQ feel like it's draining out of your head."

"How long have you been-" Chi bit her lip. "I mean, how long have you stayed around her?"

"About a year at the most." Aussie mentioned with a sigh and kicked at a weed they walked on past.

Chi perked up in horror. "Just a year?!"

"...You get used to her...antics." Aussie scowled. Her head twitched.

Chi watched with a frown as Tai slid a small daisy in between one of the pieces of seaweed that extended from Aussie's goggles. Tai shifted into an octopus, dropped towards the ground, and switched back only to lounge and gaze up at her handiwork.

Aussie reached back, felt the petals on the daisy, and shook her head. "It may be a violation on the dress code but screw you Tai. It feels-" She took in a deep breath through her nose. "And smells pleasant."

"Aha!" Tai called out and pointed over to Aussie. "You said my name. My ACTUAL name."

"Good for you." Aussie scowled and pressed on forward. She continued past a fallen building and a stubby tree. "You must feel so proud."

"I won't feel proud until I get you to say my name regularly." Tai announced with her hands on her hip. "Or if I can get you to-"

"Shut up." Aussie interrupted and walked off. She gazed off into the distance. "Our intel tells that the rebel camp is situated right over there. See the floating land mass?"

The other two Octolings turned and contemplated the cluster of cement and metal landmasses that floated above the abyss.

"Which one?" Tai asked with a yawn.

"The one with the-" Aussie paused for a moment, narrowed her eyes, and lightly lifted her goggles. Her red irises scanned them. "The one with the...decayed structures."

"Okay." Tai turned around and raised her hands in mock shock. "Oh my! Whatever could that be behind us?"

Aussie growled, turned around, and recoiled. True to Tai's word there laid a building skeleton of rusted steel with a few sagging metal beams. The lights in Aussie's goggles flashed dangerously. Tai on the other hand just raised one gloved hand up to her head, brushed a tentacle out of her head, and winked back at her commander with her right arm firmly on her hips and her left planted on the structure.

Almost as if she were a bull Aussie snorted puffs of smoke out of her short nose and began to stretch her fingers in various complicated forms. The sounds of her fingers cracking and the caws of seagulls as they flew on past them were all that could be heard.

Eventually after she had enough of essentially wrecking her own fingers Aussie simply sighed, shook her head, and forced her hands down her pockets. "I swear to Cod. Sometimes I wonder how or why you were employed in our core. Then I remember your mother exists."

Tai's impish grin started to falter. "...Well that's not my fault now is it?"

"Uh, hey?" Chi's voice interrupted from behind the two. "Which land mass is it again?"

Aussie turned around, sighed again, and moseyed away from the other Octoling in time for her to miss Tai as she stuck her tongue out at her. "Just follow me."

Aussie ran off with a single authoritarian peek behind her. Tai sighed and crossed her arms behind her head yet again and walked past Chi. She nodded her at the other Octoling. Chi managed to nod back in acknowledgement and continued on behind. The duo followed slowly behind as Aussie made no haste in running towards the edge of the platform.

* * *

"...We're going there?" Jerry muttered uneasily as he gazed over the edge.

"Yeah...unfortunately." Chi rubbed the back of her head.

They peered back into the abyss. Just above the dark rocky terrain below a lone land mass hovered in an unsteady tilt. Wilted trees and discarded metal structures teetered dangerously off the edges of the cube mass. Moss and cracks clustered and covered the concrete. A single droopy line of ink connected via an orb of fuchsia concentration were all that hooked the masses together.

Jerry shivered slightly in Chi's grip. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. What a day to lose your propeller…"

"It isn't too late." Chi looked up and over her shoulders behind her back. She spied a discreet kettle in the distance. "We can still leave-"

"No way." Jerry immediately switched gears and shook his head. "I'm not gonna let you do this alone Chi. It's just like mom always said." Jerry turned back towards the mass below. "'No sugar until after you finish your homework!'"

Chi blinked with a frown on her face. "What?"

"...This assignment is meant to be the homework and you not dying is...uh…" Jerry bit his lip. "It sounded better in my head."

"So no turning back?" Chi asked curiously.

Jerry shook his head. As his noggin swiveled Chi had to push outwards to prevent being smacked by his weapon conjoined with his head. "No. I'm ready."

"...Alright." Chi spoke and gulped. She walked over towards the orb of ink and the string of violet. "You think you can follow along?"

"I'd hope so!" Suddenly the air of worry dissipated instantly about Jerry. "I was voted the second best swimmer on the team."

"...You used to swim?" Chi asked with an eyebrow cocked.

"We're octopuses Chi. Our ancestors used to swim in water for Pete's sake." Jerry proclaimed proudly. "We'll talk about that later though. Stuff me in that sphere."

"Gotcha." Chi nodded and made her way towards the purple orb.

With Jerry still comfortably situated in her hands she stepped behind the orb. She grunted and lifted the Octocopter onto the sphere and let go as Jerry's tail graced the fragile orb. As soon as she retracted her arms he sunk into the recesses of the sphere, metal cap and all, and disappeared almost completely. After a few moments a pair of yellow irises peeked out from the orb and blinked back at Chi.

"You okay?" Chi inquired and leaned down towards the eyes.

Jerry winked back at her. A garbled noise emanated from the round sphere.

"Hm?" She arched an eyebrow. "Hang on."

Chi fell to the ground and sat upright with her short octopus head upright. She bounded forwards and dived headfirst into the sphere. Jerry blinked and glanced about. A pair of bluish-violet pupils gazed back at his.

"Ready?" The Octoling's voice echoed throughout the ink.

"I guess." Jerry paused and gazed ahead at the strand. "...Will this support us?"

His words clung on and reverberated across the string. It weakly stayed in place as small ripples danced across the thin stream of ink. It was not unlike a dangerous tightrope at a circus. Except there was at least a thousand foot difference in height between the octopuses and a deadly drop.

"Slowly." Chi cautioned as the duo crept towards the line.

They slid off of the orb and down the wire of ink. Immediately they clenched their teeth and prepared for the worst as they began to drop down the line of violet. They slid down, as the line threatened to drop them down into the abyss, but held on for dear life as careful as they could.

Halfway through their downwards climb Jerry sighed in relief. "Huh. Well this isn't so bad."

"For a few years this has held up pretty well." Chi mentioned as her eyes gravitated to the ground. She snapped back upwards. "So long as you don't look down."

Jerry nodded in response. As they continued down the rope of ink the wind rustled nearby. They stopped abruptly.

"...Do you hear that?" Chi asked all of a sudden and eyed about the air.

Jerry's eyes followed suit. "...Yeah. ...It almost sounds like-"

An ever familiar "whirl" sound continued to buzz around the two of them. Chi and Jerry's pupils both gazed up above them. A steel colored blur whirled towards them.

"Hey!" Jerry cheered with a laugh. "It's my propeller! And it's coming straight at us!" He grinned, glanced at Chi's set of eyes frozen in terror in the stream, and glanced back. "Oh wait."

The whirling propeller zoomed along with the wind. Without hesitation the two began swimming at the fastest speed an octopus could muster. The propeller whirled above them, dropped down, and continued along with the wind into the line of ink behind them. The orbs behind and in front of them flashed a silent alarm and slowly dimmed.

Chi and Jerry leaped out of the ink as it faded behind them just inches away from the mass. Before they could land gravity took ahold of them as Chi reached out.

"Oh shiiiiiiiip!" Chi cried out.

* * *

"What is there to be afraid of?" Tai prodded Chi with her own set of eyes as they crawled down the thick rope of ink connecting them to the landmass below.

Chi gazed down for a split second and whimpered. "That?"

"Don't tell me you're afraid of heights." Tai grinned at the other Octoling's eyes. "We could drop from here and probably land without a scratch!"

"Eh…" They heard someone clear their throat in front of them. They glanced upwards at Aussie as she sat on the edge of the landmass. "That's a bit of a stretch."

"Shut up Aussie!" Tai whispered back at her almost frantically. "Trying to get her to face her fears!"

"Or you might accidentally splat her across the canyon floor." She commented and shrugged her shoulders.

Chi suddenly felt very sick. Tai turned back around and smirked at her. "Don't worry. This thing carrying us right now-" She stuck one hand out of the ink and pointed back at the stream. "It's pretty much indestructible." Tai then whirled back around to the other Octoling. "Ain't that right Auss?!"

Chi could see Aussie sigh as they crept closer. She stood up and shouted back. "Yes! We have all the power we need and there's no reason for disconnecting this landmass! You don't need to worry about anything! Except for Tai..."

Tai nodded and turned her eyes back to Chi and winked. "You see? Indestructible."

* * *

As Chi gripped the platform with one hand and the Octocopter in her other she simultaneously felt as though she wanted to strangle whoever was in charge of the ink lines. Jerry gulped as he prayed that his metal cap would not slip out of Chi's grip while Chi tried to lift herself up onto the platform.

"Just...a little...gah!" Chi groaned and felt her arm contract weakly. She gazed down sheepishly at Jerry. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just...uh...chillin'?" Jerry shivered nervously. "Y-You think that Octavio still has the respawn pads up?"

On spur of moment Chi spied Jerry's propellor as it spiraled down into the chasm below them. Jerry took notice as well and the two Octarians watched as it dropped into the gulf and out of sight. Eventually they managed to make out a "clang" as the remnants of the metal disappeared.

Chi gulped and struggled to pull herself up. "...I really don't wanna find out."

"Uh, okay, I think I've got an idea!" Jerry called up frantically. "Can you throw me onto the platform?"

Chi's eyes widened in terror. She glared down. "Jerry?!"

"That'll lighten the load! Then I'll help pull you up!" Jerry suggested as his skinny ski-legs wiggled below him.

Chi began to sweat. "...Are you sure?"

"I believe in you!" He called back up and wriggled even faster. "Just please do something quick!"

"...Alright." She swallowed nervously and shut her eyes. "Here goes nothing!"

"Wait wait wait open your eyes first!" Jerry cried out. "Open your- AAAAAAGH!"

For a brief moment Jerry felt himself soar through the air even without a propeller. As liberating as it may feel the Octotrooper could not feel anything with the overpowering feeling of shock and the overpowering sound of his own screaming. Chi pried one of her eyes open and reached up with her left hand to grab the ledge.

She shut her eyes again. "Are you okay Jerry?!"

The screaming had ceased. Chi began to panic. At that instant the horrifying sound returned and ended with a "thump". She glanced all about the area, especially down, expecting the worst.

"...Jerry?" Chi called back.

"Grab on!" His face popped over the edge.

"Eek!" The Octoling's grip slipped for a brief moment.

She grabbed hold of his cannon cap and held on for dear life and switched into a shivering octopus almost out of sheer instinct. As if anchored to the side Jerry began to bend upwards, grunting all the while, until he managed to stand upright. He flung backwards with all of his might, caught a glimpse of an octopus as it cowered through the air, and heard another "thump". Jerry took the moment to thank the stars for his ski pole-legs and rolled over on his stomach.

He peered ahead worriedly. "Chi?"

Jerry felt eight soft tentacles wrap around him tightly. He stared into the blue eyes of the octopus Chi who squeezed him just as tightly as she did with her regular arms.

"Whew!" Both of them collapsed back.

Chi reverted back into an Octoling sprawled over on the ground. She sat up and sighed again and felt beneath her chest-plate. "Ugh. My hearts are pounding…"

"I don't even know if I have any and they're going off." Jerry spoke with wide eyes as he gazed up at the sky.

Chi stood up and brushed herself off with a sigh. She ambled on over towards Jerry as he leaned against the cement lining of the platform. "You still up for this?"

Jerry turned his head back upwards. He felt a pair of arms close about him and lift him up into the air where he could peer across at the disconnected pair of orbs. "...Well, there's no going back now."

Chi nodded in response and turned back around. The shadow of a mass above them clouded them in a shade away from the sunlight. The trees picked of leaves and the discarded metal only made them feel all the more vulnerable. They walked underneath the shade and explored amidst the piles of scrap and the lonely plants.

They continued for quite some time up until they reached a small assembly erected out of the ground. A lonely kettle plastered with several stickers of octopuses sat in front of them. Its spout laid with one half seemingly threatening the sky with its sharp edges while the other half laid discarded underneath.

"...The Octarian Underground." Chi whispered as a familiar repetition bounced in her head. She rubbed one of her head tentacles worriedly. "I haven't been here in a while."

"...I know you've been asking me this, but just one last time, are you sure you're up for this Chi?" Jerry queried as he gazed up at her.

Chi felt the wind brush past her tentacles. "...Of course. We need to tell her."

"Alright." Jerry nodded as Chi stepped forward. "Here we come Miss Inaba."

She stepped over onto the kettle and transformed into an octopus. Chi slipped through, as did Jerry, or at least the bottom half of him.

Jerry blinked and stared up at the metal cap. While his main body slid through his weapon continued to stick to the surface. "A little help Chi?" He called down.

All he heard was the sound of something sliding down. Jerry grunted, rustled about in place, and sighed. Then he heard something creak. Within seconds he and the debris of the manhole cover of the kettle slipped down into the pipe with "clangs" and yelps of irritation as the crashed into him on the way down.

Needless to say Jerry would be having a fit with the engineers.

* * *

AN: You know I feel sorta good updating again. It feels nice getting some actual work done for once instead of playing LISA or having Steam chats with friends and acquaintances about stuff we want to get done but don't have the willpower to get finished.

Aside from that update let's talk reviews. Thanks Ultrapyre and write n wrong for reviewing.

Quite honestly although I do adore the fanarts Ultrapyre no one takes too much time investing in their characters. Again, being sort of hypocritical here seeing as this isn't exactly character development central, but I still think that more people should flesh out their guys a bit more if they go to all the trouble of making bios for them and all in any way they can.

But hey. That's just an idea. A bad idea! Thanks for reviewing.

Oh yeah hold on, uh, write n wrong! Glad you enjoyed the little Valentine's Day special. Glad to hear you're trying to be productive there. Cod knows we need more of that amirite?

...Anyone?

Thanks for reading. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle. Off to play the most depressing indie game I've ever delved into. See you when I'm done crying and cringing over the terror, the horror, the painful experience that is LISA.


	71. Gone Camping (Chi Pt 3)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Gone Camping**

The dank, dark caverns of the kettle rested still, hollow, and nearly silent. The sound of footsteps, and tentacle-steps, against metal kept a continuous rhythm. Upon the ceiling of the cave there laid a large metal tube straightened out. It protruded out from a hole in the cave ceiling out into the rocky caverns.

"Okay, if I remember correctly, when we hit the first turn we're going to want to make a right." Chi's voice echoed out suddenly through the caverns.

"This turn?" Jerry inquired with another reverberation.

They bounced off of one end of the large pipe. The duo let out startled screams as they plummeted, down in a lengthy fall, and landed somewhere ten seconds after their surprise turn. Chi landed down face first with a yelp as Jerry landed next to her with a minor grunt. Chi and Jerry hopped and climbed down through the labyrinth of tubes with the light from the kettle barely illuminating the way. Even with the light they had, needless to say, it was not a pleasant journey downwards.

"Yeah." Chi groaned and rubbed her poor nose sympathetically. A pain flared in her nostrils. She turned to Jerry behind her. "Does anything look broken?"

Jerry squinted through the poor lighting. "Uh…"

"...Actually, never mind, I think I'll be fine." Chi wriggled through the pipe further with her arms.

Jerry blinked in confusion and squirmed forwards. "Wait a minute."

"What is it?" Chi inquired as she crawled forward.

"Why don't you just become an octopus?" Jerry asked in earnest.

"..." Chi bit her lip and gazed up at the ceiling of the pipe as if for an answer out of sheer irritation. It had nothing to reply to her with. Nosy. "...Right."

Bashfully, she slowly morphed into a round octopus, and began to crawl through on her tentacles with Jerry behind her. The sound of suction cups as they crawled through filled the otherwise eerie silence within the vent-like passageway.

"...Chi?" Jerry piped up, paused, and removed his back from the top of the vent. "Really wish my suction cups weren't there." He gazed back ahead. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"...Go ahead." She remarked as she glanced down through another stretch downwards.

"Okay, well, what's Ms. Inaba like?" Jerry inquired.

Chi's head rose up sharply and slammed into the ceiling. A ringing noise began hammering about in her ears and for a moment Chi was not sure if it was resounding or if her head was repeating the sound over and over. Eventually it faded away and left her with a slight ache in her head.

"Thhhh..." She inhaled sharply through her octopus teeth. Chi whirled around back to Jerry. "Huh?"

"Sorry…" Jerry shook his head in embarrassment. "You don't have to answer if you…"

"No, it's fine…" Chi sighed and ribbed the top of her head. "Miss Inaba...she was something..."

She glanced around the tube-like structure. Chi squinted her eyes ahead. Moss and weeds sprouted from within cracks within the walls. Chi hopped ahead vigilantly while Jerry followed behind.

"...Oh." Jerry sheepishly admitted as he crawled through. "...Is that it?"

"No, no, it's just that...The day when her leg-" The octopus gulped nervously. "When she was injured she was sort of...scary. I can't remember the exact details…" She shivered and wriggled about. "I just never want to relive it again."

"Sounds rough." Jerry frowned from behind. "Um...so, is it true that...Ms. Inaba's a Great Turf War veteran?"

"That's what they say." Chi sighed and glanced ahead. "I don't know if that much is true."

Jerry frowned and gazed up at the ceiling. "But wouldn't that make her like...a hundred years old?"

"...I guess?" She frowned and continued ahead.

"...So wait…" Jerry sighed and shook his head. "How old is Tai again?"

"Seventeen?" Chi sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "It's only a myth though."

All of a sudden a fragment of the pipe broke off from the ceiling. It fell and smacked Jerry on the head, caused him to recoil, and reach up and rub his head in irritation. At least, that was the plan, until he realized that his dome was protected by a layer of metal. He continued to crawl ahead.

"...I don't think we should question it." Chi frowned and continued to make her way through the pipes.

They crawled forward through the unused, desolate remnants of the paths ahead, the quiet noise of liquid dripping in a rhythmic pattern filling the otherwise silent passage.

"So then…" Jerry frowned and gazed elsewhere. "...What about what Tai said? About you and Ms. Inaba's-"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Chi snapped back. She paused in the middle of the pipes. "Sorry…"

"No, no, it's fine, my fault." Jerry apologized back. "Let's just...keep moving?"

"Yeah…" Chi nodded as she crawled forward and fell through the floor. "Wait, WHAT?!"

Before the two could even blink the pipes they crawled through gave way. With an intense groan and the sound of the decayed pipes splintering the pipes below them split in half and dropped them into the darkness. The both of them began to scream out in surprise but were rudely interrupted by the floor.

"Oof!" They both grunted as they fell onto the ground.

"Ouch…" Jerry muttered with his face in the floor. He lifted his dazed head up. "How many times was that now…?" Wobbly he attempted to stand again. "Chi! Are you okay?."

He glanced ahead of them. Through the dim light they had Jerry could notice the outlines of stalactites as they drooped down from the ceiling. The fangs of rock protruded out throughout the tunnels ahead. Jerry attempted to stand back up on his feet, struggled, and fell back-first onto the stony floors.

"...I wish I had real legs." Jerry muttered in exasperation and lifted his face up from the floor.

"I wish I had brought my goggles." Chi muttered from up ahead.

And I wish I could write better jokes but you don't see me complaining.

At the sound of an alien voice the two octopuses stood, or in Jerry's case sat, and surveyed the cave for the source. It was empty. So they thought.

Jerry shivered and shrunk in towards the earth. "And now I'm starting to hear things."

"No, no, I heard it too." Chi reached back and pat him reassuringly.

"I think that means we're both crazy." Jerry pursed his lips fearfully.

"Well...maybe." She raised her free hand up to her mouth and cried out. "Hey!"

Her shout echoed forward through the caverns and bounced about the walls. She lowered her arm and waited for a response.

But really she was just wasting time.

"There it is again!" Chi's ears pricked up underneath her tentacles. "Who's there?!"

Your friendly neighborhood voice telling you to hush and keep going on.

Chi and Jerry turned to each other with all the hesitation in the world. The Octoling stood up and ambled over towards the other octopus and lifted him up off the ground and gazed forward through the dim caves.

"You're going to trust...that?" Jerry's voice spoke in a quivering tone, as his pupils bounced back and forth in an honest, terrified survey of the cave. "What if it's a trap?"

"...If there were any other Octolings down here I think they wouldn't have taken too kindly to us falling in without an explanation." Chi paused and instinctively shivered at the thought. "We were going that way anyways."

"...Alright." Jerry stared up at the ceiling of the cave worriedly. "You're going to have to help me there though."

"Right." Chi nodded in a sympathetic agreement as she held him in her arms. She took another pause and experimentally called up to the ceiling. "Um...so is there anyone else ahead?"

How should I know? You figure it out.

Chi frowned and pushed ahead through the cave. "That's really helpful."

Through the dim cracks above them streamed thin rays of light. As she trudged, Chi kept cautious, stepping over foreboding dark pebbles and constantly surveying the ground and the tunnels ahead. She followed the pipe on the ceiling throughout the tunnels, scurrying underneath, all while keeping to herself.

Herself and Jerry, to be precise, a thought that popped back into her head when the Octocopter in her arms piped up. "So what was being a rebel like?"

Chi shot a grim look down and outwards. "...Fine."

"Really?" Jerry glanced upwards. "Even if you didn't have insurance? ...Did you?"

"We had a few extra tents." Chi sighed and sidestepped around the rock wall to the right as the pipe above curved through the cave. "Besides that it wasn't so bad...everyone…" She paused. "A lot of them were understanding."

Chi glanced ahead into the cave. A particularly large hole in the ceiling glinted, a stream of sunlight piercing through the emptiness of the cave, granting the weary travelers a surplus of extra light. She and Jerry continued on, stepped into the light, and basked in the warmth.

"They came from places all beaten up and alone." Chi stated morosely. "They knew what it was like. It was like one disorganized family."

"Hmm." Jerry hummed as he stuck one head upwards. He took a peek at Chi and managed a smile. "Hey, did you know we used to be sensitive to light?"

"Did we?" Chi inquired distractedly with a shake of her head.

"Yeah." Jerry nodded somewhat proudly. "I think? Something about a scroll we studied before…"

Chi heaved out a sigh. "Really? I'll have to read it sometimes."

"Then again, I barely see Tai-." Jerry cracked a small smile which began to shrink almost instantaneously.

"..." Chi's shoulders drooped.

"Er..." Jerry began to fret in her arms. "Sorry. I'll just...save it."

"...Let's keep moving." Chi sighed as she stepped out from the natural spotlight.

They continued on through the cave. Chi and the tentacles on her head shivered as she continued on through the caverns. Eventually, after another turn to the left, the pipe above them stopped. Rather, the remains of the end of the pipe drooped sadly off of the ceiling, stuck pointed towards the ground. Chi halted underneath the rusted, ruined pipe, and gulped.

"We're here." Chi commented nervously as she glared ahead.

Jerry blinked forwards and squinted. "...I don't see anything."

"...Look a little closer." Chi nudged him lightly.

Jerry peered forward slightly more. Through the darkness, from the slight slope they stood upon, there laid several discarded tents, capsized and deflated flat on the floor. Sticks and stones of various shapes and sizes cluttered the way ahead. Jerry blinked in surprise and looked up to Chi.

Jerry followed her gaze to the side and recoiled slightly. A worn, ragged flag laid tired and slack across a wooden pole, a crudely drawn Octavio enclosed in a circle with a line dragged across him painted on the front. Chi gazed at the sign and scowled.

* * *

"...Why would they put a flag here…?" She asked aloud in a whisper.

"Welcome to the underground!" Tai exclaimed from behind Chi.

She jumped up, away from the flagpole, her arms flailing around in a circle rampantly. Before she could roll off of the slope, Aussie stepped forward, wrapped her arms around her waist, and tugged her away from the edge. Both Octolings sighed in relief and glared at Tai almost simultaneously.

"Sorry, rookie." Tai shrugged her shoulders and nonchalantly ambled on towards the sign. She leaned her right arm underneath the anti-Octavio sign with a grin. "Cool isn't it?"

"It's an absurd insubordination to Octavio. That's what it is." Aussie muttered as she gazed ahead.

Several tents arranged in a disharmonious order littered the wide open cavern. It was not unlike a large room at the Octarian headquarters, but much more boisterous, roomy, and less hollow and metal than the intimidating HQ. One detail synonymous with their HQ and this mosh pit of rebel forces was the noise. Similar to Octavio's rave music Chi recalled, a sort of melody was present in the air, but this was more a chaotic chant between the Octarians present rather than an unorthodox beat with a trance-like sound. Chi felt oddly safe among the crowd of rebels.

"Down with Octavio!" Happened to ring out from the crowd and suddenly Chi did not feel too homely.

"It's a sea of them." Aussie growled, narrowed her eyes, and crossed her arms in a sort of irritated mix between admiration and disgust. "They've evaded our attention for so long and yet there's at least a hundred in one spot."

"I know right?" Tai laughed, reached up to her neck, and took her Octoling Goggles. She wriggled them about her fingerless glove onto her index finger and twirled it about aimlessly. "This is probably the most I've seen. Usually there are only a few dozen. Crazy right?"

"Wait, what?" Aussie's tentacles pricked up as she glared at Tai. "What the shell?! Tai, how long have you known they were here?!"

"Not until this morning." She admitted much to Aussie's confusion. "There's a bunch of these guys all around the valley. Some sit in kettles, others in the valley-"

Aussie's tentacles twitched. "...How long have you been going to these 'gatherings'?"

"Well, usually when I've got nothing to do." Tai shrugged and laughed in her commander's face at the fuming expression Aussie was making. "Pretty cool. They've got a lotta good food- You'd be surprised, the stew they make man…"

Aussie tore off her own Octoling Goggles, slammed them into the ground, and scowled as intense as her lips could frown and as intimidating as her red irises could be. "And YOU didn't say ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!"

Tai shrugged in response. Aussie's grip on her shoulders started to close harder, and just by observing the way her knuckles were vibrating, Chi made mental notes on not disturbing her superior officer.

Much to her surprise, Aussie let go and shut her eyes, and exhaled tiredly. "...Goggles please." Chi perked up and reached down, picked up Aussie's headgear, and offered it to her innocently. Aussie took it gratefully and wrapped it around her face yet again. "Nevermind that. We need to clear this place out."

Aussie suddenly reached down at her belt and grabbed an Octoshot out of its holster. Suddenly Tai popped by her side, reached over, and smacked the gun back away. It slid back behind them into the caves and clattered with the wall at the end, creating a resounding echo.

Aussie's tentacles pricked up like a cactus. "What the SHELL Tai?!"

"Auss, use your head for once, and quit the temper act." Tai chided her and pat her on the head calmly. Small plumes of smoke popped off of Aussie's head as Tai glanced back towards the camp. "There's three of us and-" Tai slowly began to point at each and everyone ahead of them. "...Two, three, at least four. You see what I'm saying?"

"..." Aussie scowled down at the camp. "Octavio gave us a mission."

"A suicide mission. Love 'em." Tai stretched and leaned on the side of the flag pole, reached up, and scrutinized her own fingernails with a strange dedication. "You think they'll bury us together Auss? Ooh."

Aussie shivered slightly. "As disturbing as that is I get your point." She frowned and planted a fist underneath her chin. "...I don't want to leave the rookie with her."

"Ouch. Standing right here Auss." Tai gripped her chest, fell to her knees, and pouted. "You mean you don't trust little ol' me?"

"No." Aussie answered as she peered across the crowd.

"Jerk." Tai huffed back.

After she surveyed the area, Aussie's eyes narrowed, and turned back around. "...Alright Tai." Aussie reaffirmed herself in a tall and strict stance. "It shames me to come to this but I'm going to have to trust you."

"Alright!" Tai clapped her hands together.

"But!" Aussie cried out quickly much to Tai's irritation. "If this ends up anything like the 'prisoner' scandal-"

Chi cleared her throat suddenly. The other Octolings glanced at her curiously as she sat on the ground patiently. For a split-second Chi glanced up from the ground as she sat cross-legged, took note of their gazes, and blushed somewhat. She forced herself to stare back out towards the encampment ahead.

"...It was just getting a little stuffy." Chi answered quietly.

Aussie whirled back on the other Octoling quickly. "If not for me do it for the rookie's sake. Do I make myself clear?"

"Fine, fine, you got my word." Tai spoke up. Before Chi knew it, she found one arm draped over her shoulder, Tai crouching behind her with a grin. "We'll be perfect little angels. Isn't that right Chi?"

"R-Right." Chi spoke and lightly brushed her arm off her shoulder.

"...Alright." Aussie sighed and shook her head. She turned around and started into the cave, but not before she spun once more, an intimately serious expression dead on her face. "Stay here. I'll notify the HQ of how...huge this threat really is."

Tai stuck her tongue out at her much to Aussie's exasperation. With a tired sigh the commander stalked off through the caverns and vanished into the dark quickly. Her footsteps died into the noise of the crowd in the encampment behind the two other Octolings. The Octolings glanced at each other, Tai's impish grin growing ever more mischievous by the second, Chi's unease growing as well.

"...What?" Chi asked as the other Octoling flashed her teeth.

"You ever strip in front of a girl before?" She asked with a snigger in her voice.

Chi's eyes could have burst out through her goggles. "What?!"

"Lemme show you." She spoke in a calm, yet extremely discomforting voice, as she started for her chest-plate straps.

Instantly Chi pivoted around and clamped her hands on her eyes. "No! No thank you!"

"Shh." Chi heard Tai's voice. As well as her chest-plate as it hit the ground. "They'll hear you."

"No! Stop that," She cried out at her, but in a quieter fashion, "Why do you keep teasing me?"

"Teasing you?" Tai was silent among the crowd in the back. She laughed all of a sudden. "No, no, it ain't like that. Although-"

Chi squirmed away from Tai's location and shifted into a small octopus as if to shield herself from her. "Then what are you doing?"

"Turn around and open your eyes, ya nerd." Tai reassured her. "I promise you won't see anything bad. Probably"

Reluctantly Chi swiveled around with her stubby octopus tentacles. She flinched, then sighed in relief, as she noticed Tai with her vest, shorts, and black shots still clothing her. Her Octoling Boots, Armor, and Goggles sat in a disorganized pile at her side behind a rock. Chi blinked in confusion.

Tai rolled her purple eyes. "Listen, if they see us wearing the legion's stuff on us they'll know something's up. This is the best I can manage without looking like a stuffy official."

"But you're still wearing your black vest." Chi pointed out and frowned.

Tai's eyebrows arched downwards. "Is there something you'd rather-"

"No, no, no." Chi cringed and fanned away with her hands. She readjusted her Octoling Goggles flustered. "The vest is fine."

Tai laughed and slapped her on the shoulders. "Your reactions are the best. Might even beat Aussie's." She shrugged and stood up. "Well, suit yourself, if you get found out I ain't gonna run back and get you."

Chi watched Tai stand up and stretch in surprise. "You're not actually going down there?"

Tai turned around with a puzzled pout on her lips. "Yeah?"

"But didn't Au-" Chi paused and bit her tongue. "4U55-13 say not to?"

"Yeah." Tai affirmed and continued down towards the camp pleasantly.

"...oh." Chi sighed and crossed her legs together uneasily. "Okay."

Tai smiled and waved at her happily as she walked up the rocks off further into the cave. "If you want you can come along."

Chi gazed hopelessly at Tai as she descended off into the cave with a cheer. She ran up behind the rock where her gear sat and peered over carefully at the site ahead. Tai whooped and hollered as she ran and was immediately met with a resounding echo from the crowd. The Octoling, for a brief moment, stared down at her equipment then back out at Tai as she frolicked among the pit of other rambunctious Octarians. Chi nervously reached up at her face and removed her Octoling Goggles slowly.

"...Just where do you think you're going, Octavio drone?" She heard a voice boom from behind her.

* * *

Chi spun back around towards the cliff gasping for air. Her eyes scanned the rocky mound behind them. She gazed, paranoid, at the tattered flag still up on the pole and still not flying. She sighed in relief as Jerry continued to choke in her grip.

"Oh!" She loosened her grip almost instantly.

Jerry glared up at her and wheezed. "Chi!"

"I'm sorry!" She panicked and shivered frantically. "I just-"

"Never mind me, I don't have a neck to choke! But look!" He pointed his nozzle ahead of them. "Treasure!"

Chi blinked in confusion. "What?"

The Octoling glanced ahead of the both of them. Past piles and stacks of discarded sheets and shattered crates, as disbanded camps standardly have, and noticed a glint among the ashes. A brilliant color peeked out between the dull red folds of a shattered camp tent.

Chi tensed up. "Ah."

"I didn't know you guys had treas-" Jerry froze for a second and glanced up at Chi who continued to glare at the glint. "Uh."

Chi walked across the waste of debris strewn about the ground, lightly kicking away at the sticks and treading around puddles of ink laid to waste on the floor, until the two of them found themselves staring directly down at the object of interest. She bent down and placed Jerry on the floor who inspected the Octoling curiously. A look of weariness had settled across her features.

"What is it?" Jerry asked as he gawked at Chi.

She brushed the tattered and dirty fabric of the tent away and reached in. Chi narrowed her eyes at the dirty cover. The book she held glinted from a small and damaged spine with remnants of metal gripped to the spine. There were faded markings on the cover. With a sigh of resignation she glanced at Jerry who continued to gaze at her without a clue.

"It's nothing." She nodded to him.

"Oh." Jerry shrunk somewhat. "Okay."

"Let's keep going." Chi shook her head.

The journal twirled through the air and slid through the cave grounds. Eventually it came to a stop by the splintered remains of a wooden crate. It landed and collided with a board, bringing it down upon the journal, a plume of sawdust puffed into the air as the wooden board fell straight down on the book.

Jerry frowned and glared at Chi again. "Why?"

"...There are some things that probably should stay down here." She grunted darkly.

The Octocopter shook his head in bewilderment. "But don't you-"

"NO." Chi finished with a sudden glare.

"..." Jerry sat uneasily under her intimidating gaze.

Chi sighed apprehensively and walked over towards him. "Sorry."

"Nah I understand." Jerry muttered as his eyes continued to track the stationary book.

Chi crouched down and wrapped her arms around Jerry. She lifted him up and began to trek through the campgrounds again. Walking around the crate, she took care to keep her eyes ahead of her, and away from the journal.

She paused and studied the dim cave system around them. Chi brushed her tentacles out of her face. "...Hmm."

"Hey, what's that?" Jerry asked all of a sudden when he whipped his head to the side.

"What?" Chi swiveled her head about.

Abruptly Chi felt her grip loosen into nothing. Without warning Jerry floundered onto the ground and skittered his legs uselessly on the terrain. Chi gasped in surprise, and at the sound of her, Jerry immediately began to pick up the pace. He continued to flop towards the journal clumsily, although effectively clearing space and leaping over obstacles, all while he closed in on the book.

"Jerry!" Chi shouted in irritation and began to flop after him in her spherical octopus shape.

With a heavy metal clank, Jerry landed face-first near the crate, and quickly lifted up his face. He smacked the wooden plank out of the way with the top of his weapon. The journal glinted again, and Jerry, being the arm-less octopus that he was, writhed about nervously. With a sigh, he opened his mouth over the journal and brushed against the journal pages with his bottom lip, and was promptly tackled before he had a chance.

"Blegh," He squeaked as Chi switched back into Octoling form on top of him, "Ow!"

"Jerry!" Chi repeated in a clear annoyance. "What the heck?"

"I'm sorry!" Jerry yelped and wriggled fruitlessly. "I'm just curious!"

"You could have just asked!" She scolded him and reached for the journal.

She gripped the spine and tugged it away in protest, which in turn caused the book to crack open, the pages sent into a flurry of flaps. Chi reached ahead and attempted to close the journal shut only for it to be wrenched away from her.

"Hey!" Chi cried out in protest.

* * *

"Oh, my, eager aren't we?" A voice cut in semi-mockingly. "I like that about you. Haven't I told you that?"

Chi froze in her place with her arms outstretched. Slowly, she lifted her head up, blinking just as deliberately as she rose. She gazed into a set of milky white eyes peering into her own. With an audible squeak she slammed her hands at her side and forced herself up straight as the other Octoling stroked the cover of the small novel.

"In due time my dear Chi." The other Octoling cooed and shut the journal closed. She strut in a dress of red rags underneath the canopy of the tent around her. "You'll get it back. I'm so glad you've decided to join us. Have I told you?"

"Y-Yes." Chi nodded and straightened up uncomfortably.

The Octoling in front of her blinked peculiarly, "Are you uncomfortable," She tilted her head, "Do you want a place to sit?"

Chi glanced down at the solid rock floor underneath her. She crossed her legs diffidently. "...No thank you."

"Well I won't simply take NO for an answer." The other Octoling smiled sickeningly and turned to the entrance of the tent. "Barro dear?"

The ground beneath them trembled. Chi could spy a pebble at the side shake and shiver. At the entrance of the tent rolled in a ginormous violet tentacle. Someone grunted from the outside.

"Thank you." She nodded at the tentacle, bent down, and patted it lightly all while smiling at Chi. "Care for a seat?"

"..." Chi stared uncomfortably at both the Octoling and the tentacle as it laid flat on the floor and wagged strangely excitedly.

"Still no?" The Octoling blinked and shook her head with an adamant sigh. "Nevermind Barro. We'll stand."

There came another grunt as the tentacle slithered back outside of the tent. Chi watched it go, up until the point where it left the flaps of the tent, and turned back reluctantly to the other Octoling.

Chi cleared her throat quietly. "So about the plan…"

"Hm?" The other Octoling hummed.

"Winst...why me?" Chi inquired with a hollow yet concerned tone.

Winst perked up. She turned around, paused, brushed her gray tentacles out of her face, and smiled sweetly at her. "Dear Chi, have some faith in yourself. You're a shooting star among asteroids."

"Um…" Chi blinked and smoothed down her vest. "I…"

"They won't expect a sweet face like yours-" Winst cooed and waltzed up to her, cupped her cheeks in her hands, and shook her face. "And we'll use that to our advantage."

"But I don't-" She watched the hands on her cheeks slink away. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to do!"

"Oh! Such a joker." Winst giggled and curled away. "Surely you jest. We've been discussing it all these many meetings. We've posted our plans around the camp in neat little flyers-"

"..." Chi felt a drop of sweat slip down her forehead.

Winst's tentacles curled up tightly. "...Still no…?" She frowned down at the smaller Octoling. "I'm disappointed Chi."

"I haven't been here during the meetings." She retorted, her voice having faltered, her face peering down hard at the ground.

"Chi, listen to me, I'm your friend. Not a commander." Winst whirled to her side and rubbed her shoulder against Chi. Chi backed away quickly much to the other's irritation. "That being said you SHOULD know one thing. As long as you are with us…"

Winst clenched Chi by the front of her vest and pulled her up to her face all while she flashed a menacing leer. "You're ours. Do you understand? You live here and you work here. You belong to us."

"...Yes ma'am." Chi nodded solemnly.

"Good!" Winst smiled brightly and removed her grip. With her free left hand she reached back and retrieved the journal. "I hope you don't mind but I've taken the liberty of scanning through your notes as well."

"W-What?" Chi fret in place.

"Don't worry, I only read the juicy bits, not any of the private pieces." Winst "reassured" Chi with a smile as she promptly placed it in the other Octoling's hands. "Feeling lonely I understand?"

"I- Well-" Chi shook about flustered until a few moments later when she finally managed to stop.

"If ever the need comes for comfort," Winst interrupted as she walked past Chi, "You can always come to me. But until then you are to stay here. We'll get you equipped for your first mission."

Chi paused her shake and stood still in the tent. Her face devoid of any emotion aside from a subdued horror stared at the ground as her superior marched out of the tent triumphantly. For a moment she continued to stare down at the journal in her hands. Chi clutched the journal and held it to her chest slowly.

* * *

"So...then…" Jerry stammered in disbelief as he gazed up at Chi and the journal. "The rumors were true?"

"..." Chi lowered the journal as well as her head.

The Octocopter gazed up at her. "...You really did hurt her?"

"...Rumors." Chi choked and shut her eyes. "Is that really it Jerry? Is that all you can think of with me?"

"No, no..." Jerry protested as he watched the Octoling begin to walk. "Chi-"

"...Well they're true." Chi muttered and turned away from him.

Jerry blinked and watched helplessly as she began to jog away. "Chi! W-Wait, I'm sorry, come back!"

Her jog broke off into a sprint as she began to blindly dash off into recesses of the cave. She dodged and skimmed through the remnants of the camp as Jerry could not help but stare as she vanished into the darkness.

"Come back!" Jerry cried out. "Please come back! Seriously! I can't walk to you!"

He watched as she disappeared into the darkness further into the back of the cave. Eyes now wide and open he began to rapidly scoot towards her as he sat on his tail. He dragged his tail for about two seconds before he snagged himself on a wooden splinter.

Jerry fell over on his face with a thunk and a resounding, "WHY DON'T I HAVE ARMS," as he pushed up as best as he could.

* * *

As she ran Chi hugged the book tightly. Her gaze stuck to the floor she continued forward blindly through rock and debris. Occasionally she scraped past the walls of the rocky cave and carelessly grazed her arms. Despite her slight injuries she forced herself forward through the cave with a hard weight that pulled down in her chest.

This continued for quite some time until she ran into another wall. Cursing, Chi kicked at the wall, and fell to the floor in exasperation. "Clam it!"

"Now Chi…?" A voice permeated the caverns.

Chi's eyes shrunk. She gazed up towards the wall she had slammed her boot into slowly. The face of a ginormous Octostriker glared down at her. Its tentacles slithered around her as the huge Octarian grunted at her.

"Is that any way to treat your friends?" Winst asked down at her with a grim smile.

Chi gazed up in horror at the pair of Octarians. She shivered and stepped back as the both of them loomed over her with all the intent of looking as menacing as possible. They were right there and she felt it.

"...Well then!" Winst smiled back at her. "Ready to play?" She inquired as she reached behind her and withdrew a small, suspicious, metallic device. "You never finished what you started."

"..." Chi stared back in a silent horror as they closed in.

"Don't worry." She grinned and tossed the device up and down dangerously. "We'll make sure she's gone for good."

* * *

AN: Hi there! ThePizzaLovingTurtle is currently out of operation! Until the system is fixed expect delays!

Thank you write n wrong for reviewing! It's not everyday you have to pay a visit to the Inaba residence but you can bet that something's awry.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, hope you enjoy your vacations!


	72. Who Wants to Play Hangman? (April Fools)

**Special Co-Writers of the chapter: Anon 3 from The Anon Train and my delusional dreamscapes. We worked about as hard as you might believe. This is your last and final warning. Have fun.**

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Who Wants to Play Hangman?**

The wind whistled past Splin's face as he hung from the cliff. The Inkling boy blinked tiredly down at the pool of sharks circling underneath him hungrily. His eyes strained down dizzily at them.

"...Huh." He murmured and became aware of the burning sensation on his throat.

Splin glanced up at the cliff of sorts. Attached to the cliff at the very end of the dirt slope was a lightly tied rope with a lit candlestick at the end of the cliff. The candle had already set the rope alight and the embers were doing a fine job of loosening Splin's noose for him while simultaneously inviting him to a nice delightful shark bath. Splin's tired eyes traced the rope down towards what he found was his own neck. Despite the "pain" in his neck Splin continued to hang slack with his arms by his side. He yawned almost plaintively and yet mundanely.

There came a thrilling series of chortles. "You're awake. Right on schedule..."

Splin rubbed his neck. Whether from confusion or due to the fact his neck was being wrenched to kingdom come was debatable but he continued to rub. His eyes tracked across a desolate white landscape to a desk adjacent to the pool. A gigantic office chair turned backwards towered over the small table.

Splin stared at the office chair in silence for quite some time until a grunt of annoyance came out from behind it. "Ask who's there."

"..." Splin blinked as his tired black Inkling eyelids crusted underneath.

There was an audible scoff as the chair whirled around. All tidied up in a neat business suit sat Ari Jabin glaring up at Splin. "Krilling my entrance here Splin."

"...Ari?" Splin tilted his head.

"Judge Ari." He pointed back at himself proudly with his thumb. "Promoted just recently as a matter of fact."

"From what?" Splin tilted his head.

"Janitor." He answered with another proud nod.

"Makes perfect sense.." Splin scratched underneath his neck tiredly. "So what is this then?"

Ari arched an eyebrow in surprise. "Your trial? Were the sharks not obvious enough?"

Splin snuck a sneak peek down towards the pool below. The circle of sharks stopped circling for a brief second and gazed up at him. In their bowler hats and business suits they waved back at Splin, smiling, and Splin felt compelled to wave back.

He turned, or at least tried to, in his noose to Ari. "...I don't see a jury."

"Uh." Ari blinked for a moment and scratched underneath his Jungle Hat.

"Or a lawyer or a prosecutor." Splin scratched his chin. "As a matter of fact I don't think you even count. You don't have a gavel or robes."

"Shut up!" Ari shouted from the ground orange-faced. "What would you know about courtrooms Splin?"

"I played Ace Squidtorney for one." He put simply. "And this does not look like a courtroom."

"Yeah? Well at least I don't use overt references to stupid junk." Ari snorted smoke out of his nostrils.

"I don't point out problems with other people." Splin retorted irritably.

"...You DO!" Ari shouted back in irritation. "Alright, hang on!"

As if Cod himself decided to intervene for Ari's sake a set of blinds draped down from the sky and wrapped around him and the desk. For a brief moment Splin reached behind him and groped at his head and neck and reached for something.

"...Oh right." He remembered as he brushed past the rope tied around his neck.

Suddenly the curtain unraveled, fell to the floor, and revealed that Ari now donned a classic black robe. He continued to wear his Jungle Hat for some odd reason. A neat wooden gavel sat besides his arms crossed on the table.

"Hahah!" Ari laughed quite fakely as he glared back at Splin. "Who's the judge now?"

For a brief moment Splin smirked.

"...It was all I could think of!" Ari cried out in frustration.

"No, no, that robe fits you perfectly." Splin rolled his eyes. "It's so cool. I'm sure if I weren't a male I'd be all over you."

"I know." Ari spoke plainly as he adjusted his robe.

"I think you're still forgetting one thing your Honor." Splin cleared his throat. "There isn't an attorney or a jury in sight."

Ari smirked back. "Or is there?"

Splin gazed around the "courtroom" sleepily. There was nothing else but a white expanse of nothing that sprawled on for miles. The infinite canvas was empty save for Splin, Ari, and the sharks as they prowled in the pool underneath. The very same marine predators had grown bored as their young meal continued to dangle over them and swam aimlessly in a counterclockwise fashion as they waited.

"The sharks?" Splin asked out of the blue.

"No they're the guards obviously." Ari explained boredly. "But speaking of sharks, may I present to you sir, the jury!"

Another set of curtains draped down from the ceiling. Unlike the first set however the heavens must not have fastened them to the sky properly as the drapes simply fluttered down to the floor in front of the cliff.

Splin blinked at it in confusion. "What."

The sheets were whisked off by a sudden gust of wind. Splin, helpless to resist, was swung like a pendulum on the cliff as the wind blew him by. Despite the sudden movement Splin's neck still felt fine if not a little stuffy. His vision blurred for a split second and returned in the same time.

"Ah." Splin blinked down. "...Hi everyone."

"Oh my Cod! Splin!" Cried out Sharq from the front row seat.

A jury box filled to the brim with familiar faces gazed back at Splin. Sharq's mouth gaped open in horror from the front seat with his Takoroka Mesh cap tilted up to reveal his terrified eyes. Adjacent to Sharq sat Willie and Zip, the both of them sprawled across the bench sleepily, the two Inklings slumbered across one another.

"...Eh?" Xarius blinked from the back row lazily. "What in shell…?"

Lalai and Prothe sat next to each other each in the middle of snoozing. They did, at least, until a moment passed and they awoke and noticed each other.

"Wagh!" The two toppled over in their seats.

"...Oh joy." Splin sighed as he swung from the rope. "Now everybody's here."

Ari stared at the jury somewhat sadly. "...Tai didn't come with you guys?"

"Look, Ari, I dunno what's going on." Splin admitted with a yawn. "But can I just wake up now?"

"No!" Ari pointed back at Splin angrily. "This is my court and you will adhere to my rules!"

Sharq's fear dissipated into absolute bewilderment. "Court? Dream? Huh?"

"I don't even know what I'm being tried for." Splin complained and scratched at the noose. "Or why I'm still alive!"

Ari switched into squid form, reached at the gavel with his tentacles, and pounded down on the desk with it. "Order in the court!"

"Pela please…" Zip murmured and buried her head into Willie's chest tiredly. "It's our day off."

"There are plenty of things you're guilty of!" Ari shouted up at him which continued to stir the sleep-crossed lovers.

"...I'm not going to deny that but could you at least tell me specifically?" Splin asked as he began to stop swinging.

"It is simple really." Ari shrugged and reached into his robe. "...Uh...one second...aha!"

He pulled out a familiar Super Sea Snail. Salty blinked in confusion as Ari showcased the bewildered snail.

"Drat. Hold a minute." Ari muttered and flung the snail into the jury box.

Xarius ducked as the snail sailed into the box. Still on the floor of the box Lalai followed suit and avoided the shell as it flew past. Prothe ducked as well. Only for some peculiar reason it continued to swirl above his head.

Prothe scowled at the Super Sea Snail as it spun above. "Don't you dare."

Salty, dizzy and unaware of what was about to happen, pivoted and slammed into the jury box. Without a moment to spare the shell exploded in the box and sent everyone flying.

"Looks like Team Side Characters' blasting off again!" The other characters screamed as they flew off into the great white beyond.

Sharq lifted his head off of the ground with a groan. "Owie…"

"Guess the jury can't deliver a verdict. I'd like to wake up now please." Splin complained and attempted to shrink into a squid. As he did he found himself stuck in the noose with the rope still wrapped around his squid body. "Please?"

"I would also like him to wake up." Sharq muttered on the ground with his arm in the air. "This kinda hurts…"

Ari blinked at the remnants of the jury box reduced to singed cinders by the explosion. With a heavy sigh he reached into his robes and pulled out a small remote of sorts with a single red button on it. "Fine."

"...What was I guilty of anyways?" Splin asked as he continued to hang taut in his squid form.

"Being an overly depressing wreck. Now get out before you ruin anymore of my moxie." Ari scowled and pressed the button.

"What?!" Splin scowled down at him. "It was just one tiiiiiiime!"

The candle on the rope burst alight in an inferno. That inferno caused a chain reaction in which a sudden siren pierced the scene. Along the cliffside chugged a sudden fire truck that materialized from seemingly nowhere with a hose aimed down at the fire already. The hose sprayed out a strong blast of pressurized water…

And knocked Splin straight off of the face of the cliff into the pool of sharks.

Everyone stared at the pool. The sharks within slowed down their swim and stared at the puddle of blue that surfaced in the water almost immediately.

"Tada!" A voice called from the fire truck. Out popped Tai's head which smiled down at the ground. "Am I late?"

Ari gasped in glee. "My dearest!"

The Octoling narrowed her eyes down at the judge. "...Missed a spot."

Just as the hose aimed down at the floor below the cliff Sharq shivered as he stared down at the pool below. Then, his knees buckled, and he fell backwards into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Aaaaaaagh!" Sharq screamed as he rose out of his bed in a fit.

"Sharq!" Came an annoyed voice from the right along with a sudden pillow projectile.

Sharq was silenced almost immediately as the pillow collided with his face softly. He wiped the cushion off of his face and blinked tiredly.

"It's the middle of the night." Splin yawned angrily. "Go to sleep."

"...Splin…" Sharq piped up.

With a huff, Splin settled back onto his bed, his blankets draped over him. "What?"

"Just so you know…" Sharq tossed the pillow back onto his bed. "If you were...you know...in danger you would tell me right?"

"Whuh?" Splin blinked and nestled his head into his pillows. "Sure I guess."

"...Okay." Sharq sighed in relief. "I believe you."

"Go to sleep Sharq." Splin muttered and covered his head with another pillow and shut his eyes.

"One more thing Splin." The eldest cleared his throat.

"Mm." Splin muttered already half-asleep.

Sharq smiled hopefully. "I don't care what Ari says. I don't think you're a depressing wreck at all!"

Splin's eyes shot open. "What the sh-"

* * *

AN: Happy April Fools?

Thanks for reading. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you in the future.


	73. Chi's Rebellion (Chi Pt 4)

This chapter of the Brothers and the Others is sponsored by our sponsors. Procrastination: Good for making people drop their reading without any of the embarrassing consequences of writing explicit eroticism.

Want to play? Splatoon One is here for all your ink slinging needs! So long as it the Switch's Internet is free the Wii U is still mildly alive.

...Then again Mario Kart 8 Deluxe just released so...

Special thanks to the single-player campaign of Splatoon for detailing that those orbs of ink that connect to each other with lines of ink are called Ink Rails. I'm so embarrassed for missing that detail you don't even know man.

Now back to your regularly scheduled "Splatter's Shell: The Revenge of Octopus Girl" fanfic.

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Chi's Rebellion**

"My dear…." Winst crooned as she brushed her fingers through Chi's tentacle hair. "Have I told you how much I believe in you?"

"I know Winst." Chi nodded grimly.

"I truly do. You loyal rebel you." Winst smiled softly.

Chi turned her face away. Though she attempted to gaze anywhere else, Winst reached under her head and pulled her head back towards her and tapped her on the nose much to her annoyance.

"In all honesty however, I do not believe you should waltz out into your mission with such a...cluster upon your crown." Winst muttered as she examined her coconut.

Chi huffed as Winst ruffled through her tentacles. "Sorry. I'd hate to look like a mess in front of you."

Winst pouted and rested her chin on Chi's tentacles. "Oh please don't be like that. I hate to see you gloomy. Makes you look like a bloated pufferfish."

"Thanks." Chi muttered with a flustered expression.

"Oh do lighten up Chi. They may get the wrong idea." Winst hummed and rubbed down her tentacles with a gesture outwards.

The duo of Octolings sat crouched in the tent. Unlike before, the tent's flaps were wide open and revealed a crowd of Octarian rebels that gazed back at the pair. An uproar of cheers bounced all about the caverns. Through the dim lighting Chi bore witness to an impressive mass of red rebellious clothes and anticipation written on squishy yet hardened faces.

"...Winst, I have a question." Chi muttered at her.

"Mmh?" She hummed all while she brushed Chi's tentacles.

Chi pushed her hand away and stared up at her. "Why the faith? What happens if I fail?"

"You'll die of course." Winst stretched out with one leg stretched over the other.

"Oh." Chi blinked and stared at her superior as she waved at the crowd. "...That's it huh?"

"Aside from that it's a piece of cake, isn't it?" Winst shrugged positively down at her. "You're their savior Chi." She "reassured" her as she spoke into Chi's ears underneath her tentacles.

Chi shivered in a very nauseous sense, much to Winst's amusement. "Really?"

"You still don't believe me." Winst sighed and rubbed her temples. "What type of an attitude is that to have with your supporters?"

Chi hesitated for a moment. "Supporters?"

Winst smiled again and stood up. "Walk with me."

"...No thank you." Chi switched into an octopus and suctioned herself to the ground.

"Oh Chi." Winst crooned down at the round cephalopod. "Feeling a little ridden with stage fright?"

"Yes." Chi admitted haplessly.

Winst quickly swiveled her head back towards the crowd, gave them a dainty smile, and then crouched down to Chi. "There are much worse things to be afraid of my dear. I will show you what you mean to us."

"I know." Chi shivered as she stared up at her.

With a laugh Winst bent down and gripped her by her round head. Despite Chi's best efforts to remain fastened to the earth she found herself scooped up in Winst's grasp. Chi gazed back down at her from her new uplifted perch with a gloomy pair of eyes.

"Chi, I don't understand," Winst admitted as she stepped ahead outside of the tent, "If you return you will be a hero. You already have several admiring fans too."

Chi stared down at the crowd and could not help but sigh. The whole mob of them continued to praise her as flattering as the ragtag audience could. Chi's tentacles sagged from Winst's palm as she gazed down at the crowd. For one sudden moment the cheering paused as she was hefted up into the air towards the ceiling. Although the red-clothed audience had calmed Chi could not help but shrink as their eyes trained on the small octopus in the crazy lady's palm.

Speaking of crazy Winst then let Chi fall to the floor as she shouted, "Rebels of Amphio!"

"Ow!" The other Octoling complained, as she dropped, and quickly shifted back into her humanoid form.

"As you all know, Octavio has been planning a scheme for months now." Winst kept a careful eye on the crowd as she spoke. "A plan that would plunge Octo Valley into battle and turmoil most likely."

The other Octarians present shuffled throughout the crowd. A few shouted out in an agreeing aggravation. Chi watched quietly as as Winst's hands rose up in a pacifying stance. The onlookers fell into another silence.

"Now, as easy as it may sound to sit back and watch, will we really just let the flames of war broil over while we simply sit back safe and sound?" Winst inquired and arched her eyebrow at the crowd.

There was a long pause in the gathering until someone piped up, "Yes? That sounds good."

Although Chi would not admit it, she gazed in the direction of that someone, with a silent sense of agreement that hung on her lips. Unfortunately it appeared that Winst did not particularly agree. She glowered in the same direction, reached into her raggedy dress, and pulled out a rinky-dink Octoshot that appeared weathered with age. Within the Octoshot's clear ammo chamber was a suspicious bubbling fluid. Without a moment of hesitation she aimed towards the audience and fired.

"Ack!" Sputtered an octopus somewhere in the front row. Then came the sound of something sizzling as if someone in the audience were now cooking.

"Let me rephrase that." Winst muttered and stuffed the Octoshot back into her dress much to Chi's bewilderment. At the spot where an Octarian once stood in the crowd was now a sizzling puddle. "It is our responsibility as the Amphio Alliance to prevent another full scale war. Even with the safe chance that we can hide away from the Inkling menace, who's to say that Octavio won't rat us out?"

A much more discernible clamor rang out from the crowd. Chi sat still rather uncomfortable atop the rocky surface of the ground. Though the floor was about as comfortable as a rock could be to a young octopus the only thing more uncomfortable than the solid surface was the audience. They continued to gaze upon Winst with a fierce loyalty.

"Of course, I think I may be too harsh. I'm sure his legion of well-trained soldiers can handle a few kids with paint guns." She shrugged, and as if a switch was flicked, prompted a raucous bout of chuckles. "And if he can't handle it, then you know, that only means the Octarian race's extinction."

The caverns stopped their laughter almost as quickly as she had mentioned the word extinction. With an offended countenance Chi cleared her throat.

"Ah! But of course Chi." Winst clasped her hands together and pulled her comfortless companion up by her arm and held her arm high. "Luckily for us we have this little miracle to aid us in our most dire situation."

All of the octopuses present in the room barely managed a blink at her.

"...What?!" Chi glared at the assemblage. "Seriously?"

"Oh heavens, ladies, gentlemen, please. I'm sure being stunned into silence must be flattering but I fully expect that you receive our champion with the wonderful respect she deserves. After all she is our ticket to revelation." She announced as she slapped said ticket on the back.

Chi blinked back at the crowd. The crowd blinked back at her. Needless to say it was a riveting exchange that would go down as a momentous decision in Octarian history.

"That settles that then!" Winst announced with an increased fervor. "Using this device," Winst pulled out a shifty device from her dress again much to Chi's befuddlement, "Little Miss Chi here has the ability to use one of their greatest strengths to our advantage."

Again there was a pause and a lapse of nothing happening.

"...She will take advantage of a small weakness in the enemy's judgement." Winst explained.

It was at this point where Chi attempted to scoot back inside of the tent. The audience and Winst stared at her as she attempted to scale the rocks in the most mundane method possible for an Octoling. Winst retrieved the device and forced it into Chi's hands impatiently then redirected her attention towards the crowd.

"She's going to take a hostage." Winst explained dryly. "Or die trying."

The world seemed to freeze around Chi. For one terrible moment her hearts must have stopped. Then, as if an alarm were sounded, a round of applause cluttered the room. Chi continued to revel in horror at Winst's speech while Winst beamed as brightly as if the sun itself floated about the rocky room.

"I- I-" Chi stuttered breathlessly.

"That's the spirit." Winst hummed along with the crowd's roar. "You all are such a lovely audience. Please stay tuned for the results. I promise they'll be..."

The crowd continued to cheer their unlikely hero on.

"A blast." Winst grinned.

All of a sudden the crowd went silent and the sound of crickets permeated the caverns. The only sound left was the sound of Chi shaking in place. It was not unlike a pebble clacking among the floor.

"..." Winst glared back at them.

Someone in the crowd began to clap and cheer again albeit much less enthused than before. The others joined in until the applause was revived. Still paralyzed wordless Chi stared back at the crowd fearfully. They gazed back and laughed with friendly faces and began to cheer again as the Octoling sat and stared. Dragged across the ground, she let herself be pulled, Winst with a bright big smile as she did so. Eventually as the shade of the tent fell upon the pair her terrified gaze out was blocked off by the closed flaps of the tent.

Winst let Chi's hand go then dusted off her own hips. "Well, I feel excited, don't you?"

Chi shuddered in place for quite some time. After inspecting her from head to toe, Winst reached over Chi's head, and cupped her face in her hands. Chi stopped immediately.

"Better?" Winst inquired soothingly.

"No." Chi answered back as she shook her head in between Winst's palms.

"Too bad! You're going." Winst announced and released her cheeks with a hearty laugh. She retrieved the device from her dress and plopped it down on the floor in front of her. "It's life and death Chi. Either you go or I will."

"Then you go!" Chi complained in exasperation.

"Very well." Winst spoke up and cocked her Octoshot down at her face. "I'll go and you'll die."

"Then I'll go!" Chi rose to her feet swiftly.

"Perfect!" Winst beamed and holstered her weapon. "I expect the enemy party to arrive soon after your success." She leaned down and patted her on the shoulder. "We're all counting on you Chi."

"..." Chi stared out at the crowd as they shouted and laughed in the mosh pit of a cave. "...No you aren't. You're counting on this." She rested her hand on the device coldly.

Chi stood up on her tired beaten boots and walked out of the tent. She stowed it away and walked through the crowd of strangers.

* * *

"...We could've stolen from them." Winst frowned down at Chi from the top of the Octostriker. "We could've shown them their mistakes. What they did to us...we could have shown them tenfold what we faced." She shut her eyes and a single tear dripped down her cheek. "But you...YOU-"

Winst's eyes opened slightly. To her right Chi sneaked past on the tips of her boots for a few seconds before she caught the eye of her adversary. Thoroughly alerted, Chi started to tiptoe past faster. With a hiss Winst hopped down from Barro's tentacle and slammed down feet-first in front of the cautious Chi.

"Are you IGNORING me?!" Winst demanded with an irritated flaunt of her dress.

Chi switched into octopus form and attempted to leap past. Winst walked to the left. Chi slammed into Winst's abdomen and fluttered to the ground as if she were nothing more than a snowball. Rubbing her head, she lifted her Octoling head back up, and immediately regretted her decision to stare.

Winst's pupils were a mix of pure anger with a lovely tinge of depressing gray. "My dear Chi...there's no running from this. You have to accept it."

"No." Chi shook her head and tried to leap past her again.

She found herself face down on the floor with her legs hopelessly dangling in the air. "You made a mistake. A big mistake." Winst shook her head. "You went back to them. Even after we gave you everything. We were so worried when you climbed into the Inkling world...those fiends." Winst gripped Chi by her Octoling Boots. "You even returned to those...warmongers."

"You sent me out to kill someone!" Chi complained and attempted to claw away as she grasped for a faint light at back of the caverns.

Winst blinked boredly and took note of a slight illumination her hapless victim continued to try and crawl towards. "...You both survived." Winst shrugged and tugged at her boot. "A minor setback."

Chi scratched at the stone floor. She frowned at the stone for a moment. All of a sudden, a surge of frustration coursed through her. Chi shoved her foot back towards her captor and felt her boot collide with soft flesh with the added yelp to affirm she had hit her target.

"Urgh!" Winst gritted her teeth. "Nice try darling, but it's going to take more than one kick to -"

Chi kicked back again, then thrice, four times more. Each time she kicked Winst in the abdomen it only seemed to irritate the rebel leader more and more. It was not until the fifth kick when Winst's body finally seemed to react to the abuse and she spat up a glob of dark fuchsia glob of ink.

"Enough!" Winst retaliated by kneeling Chi below her Octoling Armor.

"Blegh!" Chi grunted and fell slack to the ground.

With a sinister smile, Winst shook her head dotingly at her foe, circling around her fallen body. "Tsk tsk. Octavio certainly had you best interest in mind when designing armor that only covers your chest."

"Thanks for noticing." Chi muttered weakly.

"Come on." Winst reassured her as she dragged her across the stone hard floor ungracefully. "We'll take you back to the camp and your destiny. It isn't too late."

" _No."_ Chi thought and scratched at the pavement. _"No, no, no."_

Winst smiled back down at her menacingly. "We'll set you up. We'll send you back up. And the best part, oh, do you want to know the best part?"

"No, no, no!" Chi crawled as best she could with only two arms.

"Too bad I'm telling you anyways!" Winst asserted gleefully. "After you and Miss Mai pass on, we'll get that pretty little pair of Octolings that you seem to love so much. Octavio won't take our threats lightly!"

"You're crazy!" Chi cried out in horror.

"I'm very flamboyant Chi. But I'm far from insane!" Winst grinned back at her.

Chi grunted and weakly attempted to switch into an octopus. Before she had the chance to slip away, Winst kneed her in the gut, eliciting another painful yowl. Sweat dripped from Chi's forehead as her face hung over the floor strenuously.

Chi blinked sorely. "Bleeegh…"

"Look Barro!" Winst announced gleefully. "I caught her! Oh how embarrassing this must be for you, Chi!"

The Octostriker glared down at her in the dark and grunted at her.

"Oh of course." She nodded back up at him. Winst began to walk up her companion's tentacles as they sat on the floor. "It isn't fair to tease her. After all, it is thanks to her we got so far."

Chi's eyes rolled in a daze as she was dragged along. She mustered all the strength she could to lift her head up off of the rough cave floor and for another kick. She feebly raised her leg up and pushed her boot towards Winst shakily. Winst scowled as the boot rubbed against the arm she dragged Chi with.

"Ick." Winst muttered as she dusted herself off and quickly delivered a swift kick to Chi's side. The feeble Octoling beneath her made no other attempts at fighting back as she laid sprawled out in pain and shock. "We need to get her out of those horrid clothes and back into our colors. They're leaving a terrible taste in my mouth."

Barro grunted again with more severity.

"Oh please." Winst waved him off. "I'm refined. Not a pervert. I'll look away when-"

At this point the Octostriker devolved into a series of panicked grunts that made it far more difficult to be deciphered. With a scowl Winst snapped her fingers in front of his face repeatedly with one foot planted on Chi's abdomen.

"What is it now?" Winst crossed her arms.

"Octavio!" The Octostriker bellowed in clear speech and raised one of his tentacles out from the dark alcove of rocks he sat in.

Winst furrowed her brow and turned back inwards towards the caverns behind them. She squinted, and yet all she could see was darkness and patches of debris. She surveyed the area with a sharp eye for a moment then laughed heartily.

"Oh Barro, you're just being paranoid!" Winst shrugged her shoulders. "You must be seeing things. Octavio wouldn't spare a visit himself-"

"How about an Octocopter then?!" A voice called out from behind her.

Winst gasped and spun around at the speed of sound with nowhere to go. She eyed the ceiling and air of the cavern suspiciously and trained her hearing. She squinted again and reached into her raggedy dress and retrieved a familiar Octoshot which caused Chi's eyes to widen. The Octoling on the floor squirmed back and forth but could not wrench herself free of her enemy's grip. All the while, Winst aimed to and fro out towards the caverns, thoroughly alert.

"...What did you see Barro?" Winst demanded as she cocked one eye.

Barro grunted in a panic again and pointed towards a set of rocks. Winst narrowed her eyes and aimed towards the debris suspiciously. Her eyes trained on the stationary pile of boulders and pebbles. Chi could not help but lie helplessly and watch. At the sound of a pebble being scattered Winst fired, blasted, and shot the rocks into oblivion. A surge of murky ink fired from the Octoshot and blasted through the boulders.

"Aaagblrbb…" Came a faint cry from the rocks.

"No!" Chi cried out.

Winst smiled as the rocks began to dissolve on the spot. "Ooh…" She began to holster the weapon. "Oh Chi. I'm sorry."

Chi glared up at Winst. "I hate you."

"You're just saying that." Winst glowered down at her. "When we return to our camp, I'll-"

"You missed me!" The voice called back again.

Without looking, Winst retrieved her Octoshot, and rapidly fired back into the cave. The sound of sizzling among silence and the remnants of rock clattering against the floor was all she could hear.

"Show yourself." Winst commanded the darkness as she cocked her weapon for another show of force.

The immediate response back was a rock. The stone smacked Winst in the chest and caused her to fall to the floor with a shocked yelp. Chi made a noise similar to that of a laugh and a cry as she stared hopefully into the dark.

Winst stood back up and brushed herself off instantly. "Very, very funny! No, that's hilarious!"

Another rock came by for a fly by and was not shy about crashing into Winst's face.

She spat towards the caverns hatefully. "Even funnier the second time!"

Winst fired again, and again, and a third time into the cave. Her shots became a blur and her arm and weapon a mirage as they spun. Chi watched as Winst's arm appeared to split into three as they picked up speed. Eventually the trigger made a funny click noise and the acidic fluid that burst from the gun was completely empty. Sweat beading her forehead and her arm thoroughly sore, Winst stood gasping for breath as she stared ahead. After her assault on the caverns it appeared as though the cave was now several times larger than before her tantrum.

She listened very intently and did not dare turn from the scene of carnage as she huffed repeatedly. The only discernible sound left was the sound of melting and dripping in tandem. The other octopuses stared at her in terror. Barro and Chi exchanged the same uneasy glance for a second then turned back.

"Well Chi." Winst sighed and holstered her gun as she desperately attempted to maintain her own composure. "I hope you learned a valuable lesson today."

"..." Chi stared at her blankly.

"Is there something on my face?" Winst inquired and dusted herself off yet again.

"No, but there's something hovering above you." Chi pointed out.

All too quickly Winst fell for the bait hook, line, and sinker. Turning towards the ceiling again she aimed her weapon and was subsequently tackled. Chi launched her octopus form at her back. She felt good about the blow, but instantaneously did not as she felt her noggin trade blows with a dome of metal.

Chi bounced backwards into her Octoling form and rubbed her head. "Ow!"

"Sorry! Guess we had the same idea?" A voice came from in front of her.

Chi pushed Winst away and beamed. "Jerry!"

The Octocopter butted Winst off of him as well and smiled back. "Hi!"

"Oh," Chi cried out and wrapped her arms around the smaller octopus, "Thank you…"

"Ahem." They heard a voice clear its throat behind them.

The two Octarians perked up and instantly ruined their own moment. They gazed up and were immediately reminded of the ginormous Octostriker which towered over both of them. Chi and Jerry frowned up at their humongous adversary.

"...Ha!" They heard Winst sputter behind them. "You may have momentarily crippled me, but what do you expect a pair of tiny Octavio drones to do to my very dear Barro?"

Barro grunted and raised his giant violet arms. Thinking fast, Chi reached down and hoisted Jerry up to her chest and ran away from the caverns. Barro's tentacle rippled shockwaves throughout the cave as Chi zipped away from the blow as fast as her two legs could carry her. She stumbled and tripped occasionally but continued to stand upright as the cave shook around the pair.

"Chi!" Jerry glanced up at the ceiling.

Chi glanced up for a brief second, took the time to yelp, then careened forward as a stalactite came precariously close to making an octo-kabob out of the both of them. Before she could catch her breath she spied with her little eye another rocky spear as it shook itself free. She leaned to the left but still felt the stalactite graze her shoulder, and cringed as she felt the sharp pain run down her arm.

Jerry pivoted towards the ceiling. "Don't let go of me!"

"Why would I?!" Chi asked frantically as a hail of detritus rained from the ceiling like arrows.

"Just don't!" Jerry yelped and trained his forehead weapon on the rocks. "It'd be embarrassing for both of us if you dropped me!"

Chi simply sighed and held the Octocopter tighter. Jerry's cannon attached to his head began to fire slow spheres of fuchsia towards the top. As the stalactites fell, they were caught by the spheres, and subsequently deflected away from the two of them. The ones that were blasted away shattered on the walls and the floor. The several others that did not continued to hound Chi as if they were heat-seeking, the rocks falling to and fro to attempt to destroy the both of them.

"Oh Cod, oh Cod, oh Cod." Jerry panicked as he shot.

A stray bullet bounced up and splashed into Chi's face. "Bleh!"

"Chi!" Jerry yelped out in shock.

The disconcerted Chi held onto Jerry uncomfortably tight as she rubbed her face clean with her free arm. Convenient to both of them, one lucky stalactite won the obstacle lottery, and impaled itself directly in front of them. As Chi ran blindly towards the exit her boot happened to smack into the stalactite base.

"Whoa!" Chi yelped as she sprinted faster in an effort to stay balanced.

"Tighter, hold tighter!" Jerry panicked as his face came dangerously close to scraping across the floor, and neither Octarian seemed enthused with the idea of the poor Octotrooper being used as a broom.

The both of them squinted and Chi let herself fall as they fell towards the outside light. The blinding light of day pierced their vision and temporarily blinded the both of them as they rushed out of the cave and into the sunlight. They spent five whole seconds marveling in the wonder of light and the refreshing breeze blowing past them.

As soon as the five seconds expired Chi finally tripped and fell flat on the floor. A duet of "Ouch!" resonated from the ground they flopped face down upon.

"I need a bandage…" Chi remarked as she rubbed her nose.

"I need a new face." Jerry muttered as his expression stung.

The sounds of boulders crumbling behind them continued. Turning around quickly, the two of them watched as the caverns collapsed behind them, rubble piling up into a sizable barricade which had completely obstructed the cave. As the dust settled, the two Octarians glanced at each other. Both broke into a smile.

"Take that you rebel scum!" Chi laughed back at the cave.

"...Uh, yeah!" Jerry cheered halfheartedly. "...Doesn't that make us the bad guys?"

"..." Chi's shoulders sagged.

"Uh, sorry!" Jerry shrunk under her gaze. "I just thought-"

He was interrupted by Chi hugging him tighter. "It doesn't matter! We're alive!"

Jerry sighed and simply let himself be embraced. Not that there was much that could stop Chi in the first place. It was a quick embrace, and even then, Chi continued to hold on even after the "hug" was over. The both of them turned back around and gazed forward.

The cliffs of Octo Valley were certainly intimidating and that was a fact. A ginormous rocky line enclosed the valley and bridged a path ahead of the Octarians. The gigantic rocky octopus continued to sit plainly. Chi could not help but smile at the giant octopus as if it were a long lost friend.

"Alright…" Chi sighed and rubbed at her abdomen where a bruise laid. "C'mon Jerry. The worst is behind us."

"You can say that again." Jerry sighed alongside her.

They began to walk forward. Within seconds however, the rocky terrain in front of them exploded. Chi fell back on her side as debris scattered everywhere and shielded Jerry from the pebbles as they rained down. Without a word Chi managed to stand up and limp away from the looming shadow above as the dust fell.

Barro's humongous tentacles slammed and swiveled about in the earth as he attempted to wrench himself free of the rocks. "OCTAVIO!"

Several birds flapped out of their hiding spots within the trees and their perches upon the rocks all throughout the valley. Beads of fuchsia sweat dripped down Jerry's forehead as he whispered encouragement up to the tired Octoling carrying him. Despite the fact it felt as though her torso would split in half, she continued forward, her gear coated with dust.

" _Have to get across."_ She thought frantically as she stumbled across. In the distance, a speck among the rocks, though blurry, stood out poignantly to her. _"I have to tell her."_

"There!" A triumphant voice called. The sound of a gun cocking only made Chi's hearts sink. "Barro my dear! Chi's getting away! Quickly!"

" _No."_ Chi gritted her teeth. _"Not like this."_

"Chi?" Jerry asked by her chest.

Chi managed to glance at him.

"I need you to throw me." Jerry nudged towards the speck in the distance.

"Throw…?" Chi blinked tiredly ahead.

"It's the only way." Jerry told her impatiently. "I can get help."

Chi did not dare stop. However, she found her legs began to buckle, and Jerry himself felt like the greatest weight she ever had to bear. Her boots scratches against the ground sluggishly and she felt as though she were melting.

"I'll be fine. I used to play college ball." Jerry reassured her with a smile. "Literally as the ball."

"...What college did you go to? Chi asked out of fatigued curiosity.

Jerry tried to hide his smile.

The sound of the Octostriker's heavy tentacles and the sound of rock shattering left Chi with little choice left. Raising her arm weakly with Jerry's back on the palm of her hand, she hurled the Octocopter as best as she could. Jerry spiralled forward through the air off into the distance and blurred as he travelled farther and farther off. Chi smiled.

Then she collapsed breathless on the floor. The last thing she heard before she lost consciousness was the sound of cackling.

* * *

AN: The Switch really is addictive though. It reminds me of my first impressions of the PSP: Powerful and portable.

Switch doesn't have Patapon 2 though so it's automatically a flop Nintendo.

(I'm not actually sponsored I swear)

Aside from the fact that I will never be able to play another Patapon game ever again rendering this entire universe pointless let's take a look at the review. Thanks TrickyJebus for sympathizing with the fact none of us can write without motivation!

Thanks for reading. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, maybe I'll see you in another story?


	74. PUNCH Break (Joke)

**SPLAToon: The BROTHERS and the OTHERS**

 **PUNCH Break**

The ground was perfectly flat and polished to a remarkable degree. The sun was extraordinary bright, painting the ground in bright hues of orange and yellow. The arena floor was spotless and shimmered with sunlight.

Two figures stood across from each other in the oval arena. Both of their tentacle-styles sprung up off their head and curled upwards with a brilliant blue sheen. Eyes shut underneath their red and green masks, chest and legs sandwiched between protective plating colored red and green, and their arms at their sides, they waited patiently.

The roar of the crowd behind them was but white noise to the two contenders. The heat of the sweltering sun was nothing but a few beads of sweat to them. All that mattered was their opponent. Hands clenched in fists inside of their red boxing gloves, their arms vibrated dangerously, as if demons thrived within.

A voice cut through their heads with a command. "ARMS!"

The two lifted their heads, opened their eyes, and watched the other's pupils spin with a vibrant brown. Their fans, numbering by the hundreds in mock gear, cried out in rejoice.

With that as their cue, the brothers threw their punches.

* * *

Sharq's trademark smile flashed upon his face. "Hah! You'll see how my hours of practice have finally paid off! Take this!"

In his right hand, the Inkling clenched a small remote controller, and thrust it forward as he held a similar controller at his side in his left. The strap on his arm tugged at his wrist as he threw the punch. On the television screen in front of him, his character's right arm seemed to unhinge with a spiralling string the only tether to his fist and body. It curved towards its target swiftly with a gust of wind accompanying the punch.

"I won't funking lose to you." Splin shouted, more-or-less towards the television, as he clicked a button with all the ferocity a fifteen year-old squid could muster. "Not here. Not now."

His character leapt to the side in a dodge. In a move of retaliation, he launched a punch, and hooked Sharq's character in the chest.

As if it had actually hit him, Sharq recoiled back sharply, almost towards their kitchen. "Ghhgh! Big words coming from the younger one. I see Master Armstrong has trained you well…"

Splin frowned and glanced at his brother. "Uh, who?"

"No matter!" Sharq shouted as he tilted the controllers in his left and right hand together. "You'll find that, I, Little Sharq, am fired up to the extreme!"

He tilted his controllers together. On the screen, Sharq's character braced himself with both of his arms, and a round shield of blue light materialized in front of his character.

Splin just glanced at his brother with a frown. "...How much practice did you get in with Ari?"

"An hour's worth!" Sharq smiled. "Then Ari's dad kicked us out!"

Splin glanced at Sharq's back. A dirt print of the underside of a boot was stamped on his shirt.

"What the shell did you do?" Splin narrowed his eyes, to which Sharq shrugged, and Splin sighed. "Whatever. At least now's a good time to-"

He thrust both his controllers forward. On command, both his character's arms extended and entrapped Sharq's avatar. It was not over however, no, for he received two attacks for the price of one! For just $299.99 he pulled Sharq's avatar from across the opposite side of the ring and dragged him in front of his own, and without lifting a finger his character punched up into his brother's character's chest.

"Yeah!" Splin pumped his fist up in the air. "Now for my FINISHING MOVE-"

He punched forward and smacked the television with his fist. All of a sudden, Splin froze, and retracted his arm from the television. The screen flashed and buzzed and screeched. Also Splin's hand had several shards of glass stuck in it.

"..." Splin rose his hand up to his eyes.

"...Ah...ha…" Sharq shivered and stared at his brother.

"...Guess I…" A hopeless smile grew on Splin's face. "...punched-out…" With that, the little brother's knees buckled, and he fainted.

Sharq caught him as he laid sprawled out. "No." He shook his brother frantically. "Splin, Splin, stay with me."

Splin's face continued to smile and his knuckles continued to bleed blue.

Panic evident on his own face, Sharq turned to the kitchen counter, fear on his mien and tears in his eyes. "Spring Man, I need help!"

Across from Sharq, sitting at one of the chairs, was a lean man wearing a red vest, red sneakers, and a red mask with spring-like cyan hair and ginormous punching gloves. A straw dangled from his mouth and a glass laid by its lonesome on the table.

Spring Man spit the straw out, wiped his mouth, and cleared his throat. "...Gotta bounce!"

The two conscious characters stared at each other. Tears threatened at Sharq's eyes. At this moment, Spring Man managed a toothy grin, then immediately punched towards the doors of the house. Swiftly, Spring Man dashed out of the house with his arms flailing and trailing behind him, leaving Sharq with an unconscious Splin.

Quickly picking out the glass shards, Sharq stared down at Splin, then back to his controllers.

With a gulp, he removed his wrist straps from the controllers, pushed them together, and began to rub.

"I hope this works." Sharq thought.

* * *

Spring Man, garbed with a mournful black vest, mask, sneakers, and punching gloves stood up tall on a hill. His hair was combed down, and now appeared slightly less bouncy. A cover of gray clouds blocked out the sky. The hills he stood on had wilted grass underneath his shoes. With a painful stare he glared down at the headstones that stood atop the hill.

"Here lies Splin Bate," The headstone read, with a time range mysteriously scratched out below the name, "He Punched-Out!"

The other headstone next to the other one read similarly, "Here lies Sharq Bate," It read with the dates chipped off, "Joycons don't work as defibrillators."

With a heavy heart, Spring Man sniffed, shut his eyes, and snapped his fingers in his glove. "Aw snap…"

"Uh…" A voice droned behind him.

All of a sudden, Spring Man turned around in shock, and was greeted to the sight of two spirits. Two very fleshy spirits. Splin stood with a bandage around his right hand while Sharq waved at him with a hand with burnt flesh.

"...Thanks for the demo, I guess." Splin spoke up.

Spring Man stared down at the smaller characters then smiled. "Yeah."

With that last word uttered out of his mouth, Spring Man stretched his arms into the sky. Like an angel ascending into heaven, he rocketed up into the sky at the speed of sound, efficiently leaving the planet as he broke the sound barrier.

"Well, all's well that ends well!" Sharq smiled, reached into his pockets with one hand, and retrieved a small container of blue. "I enjoyed my break." He unscrewed the top of the container, poured a glob of blue out from it, and rubbed it on his hands. "How about you Splin?"

"...My arms are sore." Splin muttered as he stretched.

Immediately as he did so, his arms snapped, and fell off from his body. The brothers stared as they began to roll away off the hills.

"...Eh." Splin shrugged slightly. "If I wasn't a squid that would be bad."

Sharq grinned. "Well, I'm never playing using motion controls ever again! C'mon, let's go home!"

Turning around one-hundred and eighty degrees, the two brothers took five steps towards their house, and entered through the empty door-frames.

* * *

AN: The moral of the story is that OW. ARMS broke my arms. I think I just have weak arms. Also seventy-third chapter. I think if this story actually manages to reach about one-hundred chapters, I might have to end it, or start another one just to keep this story from becoming too over-saturated. Or I'll just forget about it and only write Splat X rip-offs heh.

Also ARMS is basically just the Switch's Splatoon IP. It's new, multiplayer-online, has colorful characters, people fawning over the celebrity waifu, has Global Testfires/Testpunch dates, and is also something I like.

ARMS fanfiction never.

Also to anyone reading this I am sorry. After ARMS, Splatoon, and watching the Durty D livestream where I got noticed thrice, this whole chapter was written like a fever dream. More than normal I mean. Maybe I'll delete this chapter later but I don't have any chapters up that I can add as a back-up.

Oh well. Thanks write n wrong and Arrekusu for reviewing.

It's fine if you don't review that often write n wrong. That just makes the few reviews all the more special! I wouldn't be surprised you thought that about Aussie either. I haven't made it canon yet so...who knows? Besides me.

Arrekusu please take all the time you need. Quality can take time. ...At least anything to make it objectively better than this. I don't want to go on because I don't know any unique advice and I'm tired and probably other reasons. But mostly just time = quality.

Unless you're Duke Nukem.

Thanks for reading, this is Pizza's Turtle of Paisano Park, see you in ARMS.


	75. Silly Synopsis (Probably not canon)

**Splatoon: The Brothers 2: Paradise Lost**

 **The State of Bates: Silly Synopsis**

 **Before work on the next chapter begins, I would like to take the time to review the events so far in the story. It's been about a few weeks, maybe even a month before anyone has read this story, so I might as well help my readers try to understand this convoluted time frame seeing as I jump back between past, present, and future events like Marty McFly in the DeLorean.**

 **So, basically...**

One day, Tai and Aussie stood proud in Octavio's office. They were called in for reasons which the giant octopus samurai DJ would then describe to them. As you can tell, I for one, am greeeeeeaaaaaaaatly enthused.

"Go scout out a fortress or something." Octavio ordered the two Octolings, his gaze stuck on his boring classic records.

"Kay." The both of them replied in a monotone fashion, with Tai's eyelids fluttering in an attempt to stay awake.

As they stepped out of the base and into the fortress approximately seven steps to the left, the two glanced around the disparity and poor quality of this story, but not before they caught a glimpse of a most alarming sight.

"Oh ship. Wonder who could've seen this coming." Tai shrugged her shoulders over the dark pit that materialized underneath her. "'Cause I sure didn't."

Aussie blinked. "...Wait just a moment. Didn't something substantial happen before-"

"Too late, we're falling, scream." Tai yawned and stretched her legs upwards as the abyss opened up beneath them.

"Cod darn it." Aussie replied with a disappointed frown as the two plummeted, and screamed as they delved deeper into the unknown depths. Depths no one seems to know of because no one wants to read a certain someone else's story. Hint hint. Nudge nudge.

...Am I advertising right?

Anyways, the wind's whistle accompanied their fall as they descended into the depths of Octo Valley. Octavio glanced up from his record table for a split second, glanced around, and returned to spinning his records.

 **Thus this happens as a result:**

Chi coughed as she was kicked in the stomach. The sadistic laughter of the creature that towered over followed as she was beaten mercilessly. The pain throbbed as she attempted to crawl away.

"Hey. Don't look at me like that." She heard the voice ring into her ears.

The words buzzed with an unfamiliar tone through her ears. They sounded alien and cruel. Though her body felt sixty tons heavier and her abdomen as though it were burning, she twisted upwards to face her assailant, stiff though she was.

He adjusted his dark sunglasses and sneered at her with one hand in his leather trench coat. "I know what you're thinking. But the funny thing is, I don't even-"

"Wait, who are you?" Chi's eyes narrowed up at the bizarre man.

He blinked for a split second, then glanced around the cave formation the two found themselves in. "...Where the hell am I?"

"Heeeeey!" A familiar, sadistic voice Chi recognized all too well chimed back in. "I'm back with the Octavio drone torture deviceeeeees!"

Chi and the strange dude blinked in utter confusion as Winst waltzed back into view armed with a club and a whip out of seemingly nowhere. Upon seeing the strange man she gasped and pointed in horror.

"Hey, stay away! She's MY personal hostage!" Winst hissed. "I'm the only one who gets to kick her to-"

Before she could argue any further, the story imploded, because quite frankly I am tired of writing and I shoehorn other official characters in too often. As the void collapsed in on the writing, a single line of dialogue emerged.

"I regret nothing."

* * *

AN: Okay so maybe it didn't happen exactly like that but I already forgot, I was busy...researching...video games. I think I'm reverting back to pre-Brothers and the Others writing. Ship. Well, if I start referencing obnoxiously again, I might as well bathe with a toaster again, because all my work will be ruined by my own hubris and blind passion again.

Oh well. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I'm tired. I think I'll play ARMS when it comes out on Friday I guess. See you.


	76. A Migration Vacation

AN: Maybe it's not too late to retcon that last chapter. At least, I would say that, if this was uploaded a month earlier. Eh. Anyways, back to your regularly delayed Brothers.

 **Splatoon: The Brothers and Others**

 **A Migration Vacation**

As he sat silently at his kitchen table, Sharq glared down at the book face down on top of the furnishing dutifully. However, by dutifully, it meant he stared blankly. Also by blankly, mostly not at all, as he was lying face down with his face flat on the cover of the book. With a sigh, he lifted his head off of the cover, and finally stared at the title.

"Politics for Paralarvae" the front cover read in large white lettering. In a few seconds it was blotted out by Sharq's flat face as he slammed back onto it.

For quite some time, he laid still with his hand propped up on the table besides him motionlessly. Then, after a lengthy groan, he rose from the book. As he blinked, one could gauge that his eyes were uncharacteristically bloodshot, his hazel eyes cracked and split with jagged red lines. After what felt like an eon and a half, he pushed forward against the table and sat up straight in his seat. Straining to keep his eyes wide open, he glanced down at the table, flipped through the pages, and examined the paper closely.

"Ugh!" He slammed his face into a printed portrait of a well-dressed shrimp.

As his eyelids rested atop the suit-wearing crustacean, Sharq heard something scratch at the left. He lifted himself off the book, sat upright and stuffed the book down his pants pockets as best as he could. It jutted out of the side of his pants as discreetly as a nuclear bombshell. With a nervous glance, he turned to the side and peered towards the noise. He was subsequently relieved to see that it was only a haunted figurine on a platform.

Sharq stared at Ann-Gel as she stood across the table with the goofiest smile an Inkling could muster. "Hi Ann."

"Studying, Mr. President?" Ann-Gel asked while she shuffled across the table.

Sharq scratched his tentacles underneath the back of his cap. "Was it that obvious?"

"Yeah, but it's okay." Ann-Gel nodded to him. "Your secret's safe with me. Splin's still working on the Beakon on the roof."

As she said that the pair of them heard a thunderous clang. They also heard Splin cry out and shout a few select words to the heavens. Select words such as:

"Flip. Ship. DRIP! SON OF A SQUID, MOTHER OF KRAKENS, CRUSTY SEAN BOILING IN A BATHTUB-" Splin screamed horrible profanities for a solid minute, until he quieted, and eventually settled down to quiet grumbling under his breath.

Ann-Gel glanced towards the ceiling and sighed as the rhythmic clangs of metal returned. "At least he's not glued to his bed anymore." The amiibo glanced at Sharq as she started for the edge of the table. "I'll go check on him; hopefully his arms are still in place. Good luck with your studying!"

Sharq just waved at her as she hopped off of the table and fell to the floor with a clink. She continued to make noise as she hopped away, her pedestal dragging underneath her feet. Eventually she reached the stairs, and with quick stretch of her arms, she took it upon herself to scale each step with a tall hop each. As Ann-Gel climbed Mt. Staircase step by step, Sharq spun back to the desk, and retrieved his small book from his pockets.

Examining the title for a split second, Sharq sighed exasperatedly, and pushed the book away. "I'll come back to it later."

The Inkling shoved the book to the other end of the table then glanced around the house with squinted eyes. With a smile, he spied a familiar Krak-On Roller as it leaned motionlessly between the refrigerator and the wall in the corner of the kitchen. He hopped off of his stool and started to walk towards the weapon lodged in the corner by its lonesome. As he approached the fridge, he reached out and tugged on the roller. It jiggled slightly, but stayed stubbornly stuck in place.

"C'mon…" Sharq muttered and tugged on it again, holding the handle with both hands.

The roller remained between a wall and a hard place and refused to budge. With a frown, Sharq planted one of his feet on the fridge and ensured that the other was stuck on the floor. He grunted as he attempted to wrench the roller out of its spot. He strained and kicked on the fridge as forcibly as he could as he pulled. Sharq grinned as he felt the roller cover begin to free. With a laugh, he tugged again, and finally managed to push hard enough to achieve liftoff indoors.

"Ough!" He exclaimed as he felt the roller slide out between the wall and fridge. "Aagh!" He repeated louder when he slipped backwards with the roller between his arms.

Sharq succeeded in more ways than one, as both he and the roller out from the kitchen and rocketed towards the opposite wall. He gulped as he noticed the television out of the corner of his eyes and closed them shut. As he hit the wall just behind the television, Sharq groaned, but switched into squid form with the roller with him, and rubbed down the side of the wall to the floor until he found himself lodged between the dresser and the television.

His squid eyes blinked as he attempted to look around him. "Uh…"

Sharq wiggled in place fruitlessly, with nothing else in sight besides the wall, the floor, and his own tentacles in front of his face. With a grunt, he attempted to escape. He nudged forward and felt the weight of the dresser as well as the television shiver, not to mention the drop of sweat that trickle down his triangular head. Carefully, he continued to wriggle as carefully as possible, the furniture still relatively motionless in place. After a grueling minute, he managed to escape from the confines of the dresser and the house wall, and collapsed on the wooden floor, his tentacles sprawled out across the wood.

Shifting back into Inkling form standing straight up, he wiped sweat off of his brow. "Phew."

As the blue drop of sweat fell from his forehead to the back of the television, like a tree meeting an axe, the screen tipped over and dropped towards the floor.

"Ship!" Sharq's eyes grew three sizes as he chiefly leapt underneath the television and hefted it up with his squid body and tentacles, with all the grace and balance of gelatin being squished by a sandwich press.

As he struggled to hold the television up, he suddenly realized that there was another set of eyes still present in the room that happened to be staring at him. Slowly, and with a bright blue blush, he switched back to his humanoid Inkling form and lifted the television back on the dresser as Ann-Gel watched him with a bird's eye view.

"...Make that two things you're not telling Splin," Sharq called back to her with a nervous laugh.

Ann-Gel smiled again and clamped her own hand over her face, dragging her other hand in the shape of an O across her covered lips. With a smile of his own, Sharq dusted off the television and headed off and out the door. When the doors shut close behind him, Ann-Gel shot a quick glance at the book on the counter, and made a bee-line down the stairs. She approached the table soon enough and scaled it as expeditiously as she could manage.

Ann-Gel leapt on top of the counter, hobbled towards the informative book, and began to push it away and off the counter. _"Sorry Sharq. This is for the greater good."_

It made a clatter as it hit the floor. Ann-Gel sighed, wiped her head, and sat down guiltily.

* * *

Sharq's blue squid head graced the underside of a cloud and basked in its chill, soft feel. With a relieved sigh, as he tore through the clouds like a dark-blue arrow, he wrapped his tentacles behind his head. The sun rose behind him slowly, deliberately basking the world in light step by step, the colors of the city gradually lighting up.

While he careened through a wall-shaped cloud and created a Sharq-shaped hole, he glanced upwards towards the stratosphere while he flew. _"I hope I land somewhere soft this time,"_ Sharq thought to himself, _"My head hurts thinking about the last time…"_

Sharq turned away from the majesty of the sky back in the direction he soared. He squinted his eyes at the layers of white clouds and slowly switched back into his standard Inkling self as the clouds began to dissipate and shrink before his eyes. As it cleared, the sudden sight below him caused him to pop back into squid form in an instant, his eyes grown.

"Whoa, whoa," He hooted and braced his tentacles around his face, "What the heck?!"

Where the floor of Inkopolis Plaza had once been was now a layer of blue, blobby heads floated in a swarm. The ground, once black and gray with concrete and asphalt, was almost entirely blue. Sharq swivelled back around in mid-air and launched himself back the way he came.

At least he tried, then plummeted face-first into a sea of jellyfish.

"Ow! Jeez," Sharq exclaimed as he collided with the jellyfish, "...Huh?"

Sharq blinked and glanced around as the world spun about like a top. With a shake of his head, the universe righted itself, and he pushed himself up onto his feet. Upon standing, he heard a squish from beneath his Banana Basics, and flinched at the noise. He peeked downwards and noticed the ground was much livelier than he would have expected. And with more eyes than he would have expected as well.

"Eep!" He yelped and swiftly hopped off of the flattened jellyfish stuck to the floor.

Sharq swiveled about the plaza. None of the other jellyfish crowded in an ocean of themselves seemed to notice, or care for that matter, that one of their friends had been absolutely flattened by the squid meteorite crouched down, and began to peel the unfortunate passerby off of the floor.

"Are you okay?" Sharq prodded the jellyfish with his hand.

"Blrbabalr." The jellyfish blinked dizzily.

Sharq stared at it straight in the face. "...Um."

The jellyfish blinked straight back. "Blub."

"...Okay. Sorry!" Sharq apologized and set the smaller sea creature down gently back into the mess.

As if nothing had happened, the jellyfish waved at him as if it were a casual meeting, then turned and merged back into the collective jellyfish sea. With a sigh of relief as he turned towards the tower, Sharq yelped again as he surveyed the plaza.

Other Inklings sprouted like multicolored weeds out from the blue turf. Sharq spotted one Inkling girl push the jellyfish to her side with a roller as she forged a path to the plaza. The clear line of asphalt behind her soon vanished under the heads of the blues, but it seemed as though the Inkling was successful in her journey to the tower. Another Inkling had the bright idea of switching into a squid and swimming underneath the lot of them. For the most part it appeared as though it was smooth sailing for her.

"AAAGHAGHAGHAHFAGDHDGHDSSSSSsssssss." Was the resounding sound of the poor soul as she passed under a particularly frilly orange jellyfish.

Sharq flinched at the scream, but continued to look upon the scene regardless of the steam now rising from underneath the startled orange jellyfish. In the far corner of the plaza next to a set of yellow trash cans and a vending machine, a handful of jellyfish continued to slip and disappear, and not unlike a whirlpool a series of jellyfish continued to slip through a manhole and far away. None of the others seemed to care either.

To his right, in a familiar discreet alleyway tucked away, he could spy a spiky urchin trying his darndest to keep the masses from crowding the plaza. Through the pristine glass of the Booyah Base stores most of the other shopkeepers gaped on in dread as they continued to block the entrances. All except for one.

"Thanks to the shopping! Come for visiting again soon!" Sharq heard a charismatically bubbly voice bid farewell.

Sharq turned, or at least tried to, as the masses of jellyfish began to bunch about him. With a frown, Sharq shut his eyes tight, and switched into squid form as the towers of jellyfish that stacked around him toppled over. Before he could get the chance to hit the ground, he was swept up by a wave of jellyfish, and yelped as he was carried about the plaza. Again, Sharq shut his eyes, and restrained himself from the dizzy sensation the ride settled upon him.

Luckily for him, it appeared that the tsunami of jellyfish had tired of lugging the Inkling around, and collectively the jellyfish wave settled down at the front of Jelly Fresh. Face down in the pavement, Sharq lifted his head up slowly, and his eyes widened at the shopkeeper whom stood in front of him.

"Ah! A squiddy customer! Hello!" Jelonzo noted and extended his tentacle to Sharq.

Sharq gladly obliged and took the squishy appendage in his hand. "Hi Jelonzo."

"Ah." Jelonzo reeled him out of the sea of jellyfish and spun Sharq back towards the jellyfish. "It is a wonderful time for jellyfish, no?"

"...Yeah." Sharq squinted at the store owner. "...Is it a holiday or something? " He frowned.

"Ah, a holiday, a holiday…" Jelonzo beamed up at him. "Not just a freebie day! It is a rare jellyfish tradition, but still, the goodest of good traditions! My brethren, high in numbers, visit this part of the world every one or so!"

"One or so what?" Sharq tilted his head.

"Eh." Jelonzo shrugged his shoulders. "A long one."

Though confused, Sharq blinked, and shook his head. "So, what's this about? It wouldn't happpen to be… The Jellyfish Excavation of-"

An Inkling screamed as more flashes of electrical sparks emanated from the crowd. A tall pink jellyfish blushed, or more accurately, switched into a crimson color. It stepped away from an unfortunate female Inkling, charred to a crisp and covered with stings, the poor girl groaning.

"-maybe?" Sharq finished with a glance towards the crowd.

Jelonzo studied Sharq's face for a moment and his eyes lit up. "You have been doing the reading of our history, yes? Almost correct!" Jelonzo chided him much to Sharq's embarrassment. "Actually, this was the Jellyfish Escape of-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" The screams of the Inkling echoed in a garbled mess, as if they echoed through an electric fan.

Jelonzo and Sharq stared at the Inkling for a moment until the shopkeeper smiled again and turned to Sharq. "It is a grand day, yes! Every once upon a time in a few...years, perhaps, jellyfish, green, pink, blue, they flock to the Inkopolis like a… A…" He blinked cluelessly. "What is the word for lots of seagulls?"

"A flock?" Sharq added with a blink.

"Strike!" Jelonzo's eyes lit up. "From across the big blue world they flock like birds! You have the brain space of a jellyfish, certainly!"

"Thanks?" Sharq said as he stared straight through Jelonzo's head.

"SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE," Cried the Inkling girl from the crowd, "OH COD MY GEAR IS ON FIRE!"

Jelonzo spun towards the crowd and clapped his tentacles together. "Yes, yes, I agree. Very high quality fabrics-"

It was then that a flame literally burned into existence. The middle of the plaza, where the Inkling girl laid, had somehow burst into flames. Next to the bonfire, a guilty-looking orange jellyfish slinked away through the crowd of blue away from the scene of the crime.

Jelonzo whistled, and his entire jelly body wriggled as a result. "Sounds like Mrs. Opportunity doing knocking on my sales door, yes? Haha! Happy Annual Jelly Migration Day!"

With that, Jelonzo jiggled from head to tentacle, clapped two of his tentacles together, and dived into the sea of his people headfirst. Sharq watched wordlessly as Jelonzo disappeared into the crowd, then reappeared far off in the mob while he hefted an extremely toasty squid out and up above his head. He took the time in between the rescue to glance back at Sharq, wave with one of his free tentacles, then sink back into the stream of jellies, his new potential customer sailing above the crowd above him.

"Annual?" Sharq frowned and glanced towards Inkopolis Tower. "Haven't seen so many of them in Inkopolis before."

As with every other inch of the plaza that could be stood on, the tower also happened to host a flood of jellyfish, the top observation deck of the plaza practically filled to the brim with blue blobs who soaked in the view with thousand light-year stares out into the blue; namely, both the sky and the ground. With a scowl, Sharq pinched his nose, and dived into the sea of jellyfish headfirst.

The world seemed much more blue from within the crowd. Inkopolis Plaza looked like it was submerged even from Sharq's view from underneath. Through the transparent tentacles, the tops of the jellies' heads looked as though they glistened with glitter in the morning sun. With grunts of effort, Sharq swam through the jellyfish, his humanoid Inkling arms pushing back the soft blobs as he travelled. Every once in awhile he would have to stand up on the asphalt, survey the ocean in front of him, and continue on.

Few alternately colored jellyfish perched in his way as dangerous mines. Though difficult, he twisted to the side as an orange jellyfish rolled by, and ducked low to the ground as a strange pink one floated above.

After a few minutes, Sharq managed to crawl out of horde of jellyfish, and sat exhausted in front of Inkopolis Tower. "Phew… Made it."

As he approached the tower and walked up the ramp with a grin now present on his face, the automatic doors opened and a deluge of jellyfish poured out from within. His eyes widened in shock moments before he was rushed by the tsunami inside.

"No," He muttered as a jellyfish barreled into him, and yelped as he was shoved back into the ocean, "NOOOOOOOOO!"

Five seconds later Sharq found himself back on the opposite side of the plaza pressed up against the barrier wall. If there were any storm clouds in the sky today they would have only made the sea metaphor perfect. The waves of jellyfish rolled up and down across the plaza floor and a waterfall of them spilled from the Battle Dojo catwalk. The glass walls of the Booyah Base shuddered as the jellies smacked into them.

Sharq slid back down towards the ground in his squid form and sighed. "So much for a break."

Carefully he made his way back towards the tower, precariously navigating through the swaying crowd, making small grunts as his little tentacles pushed forward. The wave motions only aggravated him as he tried as hard as he could to make it towards the tower in front of him. Unlike the last time, however, the sheer density of the jellyfish was thick and hindered his further progress.

Sharq also found it was difficult to breathe in jellyfish.

Swiftly jetting up to the surface, he leapt out and gasped in, "Fwah!" With a scowl he sat upon the jellyfish like a throne and gazed at the plaza. "Hmm."

His eyes lit up. All of a sudden, Sharq glanced down, and stared at the jellyfish underneath him. Their white eyes stared back at him unendingly; however, other than the ambiguous blank gazes, they did not seem to make any gesture of discomfort towards him. They continued to socialize, making noises like water drops and gelatin which squished together, all while Sharq lied across them like an ornate water bed.

One of the jellyfish in the plaza underneath Sharq's head lit up in a fluorescent yellow as he shouted, "Aha!"

Carefully, he began to slide across the tops of the jellyfish in squid form, all while they rolled around underneath him absentmindedly. Despite the rocking beneath him, he continued to crawl across the ocean of jellies, the tower but a few meters ahead. He beamed, and triumphantly laughed.

"Alright!" Sharq exclaimed as he bumped into a tall jellyfish.

For a brief moment all was calm. The soft flesh of the jellyfish felt smooth to the touch, plush and harmless. A second passed, and Sharq felt for that one second as if he were lying in his bed. A flash of light beamed across his vision before all of a sudden, the ground was above him ,the sky was below him, and everything burnt. With naught a movement but a twitch in his face, out of the corner of Sharq's eyes, he spied a tall yellow jellyfish scamper away out of sight.

Though paralyzed on the floor, Sharq grinned, or at least tried to, as his mouth only managed to contort in some gruesome attempt at one towards the tower. "F-Finally." A few seconds passed, then Sharq felt his muscles loosen, and he slumped on the ground flat. "Bleh."

With the tower now directly in front of him as well as his body no longer paralyzed, Sharq stood up, shook his head swiftly, and smiled again as he stepped forward into the tower. The doors swivelled open in a flash, and with a quick, cursory glance to the interior of the tower, Sharq walked inside.

The walls within the tower buzzed to life and emanated light from the blackness as he entered. A noise whiffed past, and the light of day was snuffed out by the dark room of the tower. As it seemed pitch black, a sudden catalogue of colorful options in labeled bubbles beamed outwards towards Sharq's face. As he raised his finger up by his face, he pointed outwards towards one of the colorful options, and felt his body grow lighter.

As his Inkling form began to dissipate away into droplets of ink, he smiled. "Things are finally looking up!"

* * *

"Ah ship." The other Inkling gripped his cheeks in exasperation. "I don't want to have to deal with three minutes of this."

"...Whuh?" Sharq blinked and stared ahead.

Sharq stood upon his team's blue spawn point and gazed out upon Piranha Pit in disbelief. At least, the top layer obscuring it anyways. Where there was once ground, there were now jellyfish. The floor was almost invisible, as a thick layer of blue jellies now crowded the depot's surfaces. Even the spawn itself, from the outside of the spawn point to the stretches of the surrounding areas, was absolutely covered in jellies.

They crowded around the spawn pad in a ring, their blue blob heads squished against the protective barrier about the spawn. A few grumbled as they pushed against it, and Sharq could only watch as they crowded around.

He turned, only to stare at a cluster of jellyfish absentmindedly standing on one of the treadmills on the floor in front of him. As the jellyfish stared at the sky atop the conveyor belts, they did not seem to notice or care that they were being dragged under the floor, and were subsequently squished with mechanical creaks popping from the floor soon after. A few moments passed, then through the few visible cracks within the jellyfish layer, Sharq saw smoke rise from where the conveyor belt sat still.

"Ugh." The other Inkling rested his hand on his forehead tiredly as he shook his head. "You ever see something as bad as this?"

"Well… Once!" Sharq eyes lit up. "There was that one time when snails covered the plaza."

"Did they?" The other Inkling adjusted his Splash Goggles, which then snuggly snapped to his face. "...Must've missed that day."

"It happened!" Sharq turned and frowned at his teammate.

The other Inkling upon the spawn pad stared at him blankly. His orange eyes stared unconvincingly towards Sharq through the Splash Goggles. His Rain Boots were crossed together underneath his Baby Blue Jelly shirt dotted with tiny two-dimensional jellyfish.

"Uhhhhh-huuuuuh." He sighed, shook his head, and rested his hand upon the flat jellyfish. "We're still stuck here for three minutes until the match's time is up."

"Stuck? It can't be that bad." Sharq crossed his arms as he leaned over the side. "We could… Make something work? I have my Roller, after all-"

Sharq reached at his back. He reached again, and again, then suddenly his face paled.

"You forgot your weapon?" The other Inkling arched an eyebrow.

"Ship!" Sharq clamped his hands to his face. "It must still be stuck at home between the wall and the T.V.!"

The other Inkling smirked. "Really? Eh, won't matter whether you have it or not."

A puzzled look dawned upon Sharq's face. "What does that mean?"

With a sigh, the other Inkling raised his weapon up to his face. His Splatterscope's scope glinted in the sunlight as he aimed the gun out towards the sea of jellies. He leaned slightly over the spawn, shut one eye while the other peered through the scope, and reached for the trigger. A swift stream of ink shot out of the slim barrel and into the crowd. The blast hit a jellyfish standing atop the ruined conveyor belt in its shirt, and the surprised blue jellie fell back into the crowd of his peers on its back.

As he witnessed the attack, Sharq eyes nearly popped out of his face. "Hey!"

"Don't worry, he's fine." The other Inkling lowered his Splatterscope down by his side.

On the surface of the sea of blue jellies was a solitary jellyfish. His shirt was coated with a blue splotch of ink and his eyes continued to stare up, almost as if in a completely painless trance.

Sharq turned to his teammate with a frown. "What was the point of that?"

"See any ink here," The other Inkling inquired as he nudged his arm towards the floor, "On the floor."

Sharq frowned again, a clueless stare present on his face similar to the jellyfish besides them. With a roll of his eyes, the other Inkling kicked the barrel of his Splatterscope upright to face the front of the spawn.

"Oh boy." Sharq sighed, and sat down flat on the circular puddle of blue ink.

"Look carefully this time." The other Inkling clicked the Splatterscope's trigger repeatedly at the floor. "Watch the ink."

"Don't hurt them!" Sharq suddenly stood up.

The other Inkling shook his head and placed one hand on his shoulder, pushing Sharq back down as he fired. "Relax. I couldn't even if I tried."

The weak shots sounded off with small puffs as if the gun was a can of air freshener. Bursts of blue shot out, only to drop down to the floor weakly, down towards the jellyfish. Upon impact, Sharq gasped, and watched the ink disappear instantly as they washed off the blue crowns.

"What the-!?" He reached up and rubbed his eyelids rapidly.

Sharq blinked again and again at the jellyfish. They continued to crowd the lower floor and gaze about absentmindedly as if nothing had ever happened. Aghast, Sharq slowly turned to the other Inkling, his mouth agape.

The other Inkling simply shrugged and lowered his weapon. "I don't really get it myself." Both Inklings gawked at the crowd of jellyfish. "But I don't think we could do anything to them. Even if we wanted to."

"So then… Huh?" Sharq managed to lift his jaw up from the floor. "Where did the ink go?"

"No idea. All I know that it's like shooting out of bounds." The other Inkling shook his head. "It doesn't count. Doesn't get you any points, doesn't help toward specials, nothing."

"Then what do we do?" Sharq asked with a tilt of his head.

"It's already been about a few seconds." The other Inkling remarked as he lowered his weapon and began to sit. "Probably two minutes tops."

"What? So we just have to sit here and wait for the match to end? Can't we just dive in or something?" Sharq inquired as he crossed his arms.

He felt the other Inkling nudge him in the side with his elbow. "Already tried. They're trying too."

Sharq squinted his eyes and leaned outwards. Several metal platforms and diagonal conveyor belts stood between their starting positions.

"Here." He lifted the scope of his weapon in front of Sharq's face.

"I… Uh…" Sharq squinted harder. "I can't see, sorry. The thing over there is in the way."

With a scowl, the other Inkling glanced over at the conveyor belts, then to the right. "Unless you can speak jellyfish, I don't think there's much I can do to make it better."

With a sigh, Sharq quickly pressed his face up to the scope. The enhanced view from the scope extended somewhat past the structures in on the rival team across the map through a narrow corner of free space. From his view, Sharq noticed a full set of four orange Inklings upon their spawn point clustered close together. They nudged the jellyfish at their spawn; one poked at the jellyfish crowd with the tip of his Inkbrush. One of the orange Inklings seemed to have gotten restless, and with the form of a professional swimmer, dove into the jellyfish crowd. A few seconds later, an orange ghost floated back up to the spawn point, and a pouting orange Inkling materialized from the ink.

"They're stuck in spawn too." Sharq frowned as he peered through the scope. "...Wait, you mean-"

"Yeah, you get it now?" The other Inkling scowled. "This has been going on for hours now. No one can play."

Sharq set the weapon down and handed it back to his teammate who simply nodded in gratitude. The two Inklings, both effectively immobilized, simply crouched down and sat on the circle of ink. They continued to watch the jellyfish bumble about, the blobby tourists enthralled by the pit. A few other jellyfish donning construction hats were spotted in the crowd, the official workers clearly annoyed by the sheer number of other jellyfish. Even the jellyfish themselves struggled to move among the crowd, a few pushed out too far, and ended up making a splash as they launched themselves into the ocean.

"...How long do you think they'll stay here?"

"Huh?" Sharq glanced to his right.

The other Inkling stared back with an exasperated face. "You think they'll leave tomorrow?"

"...Probably not." Sharq rubbed the back of his neck.

"Guess that was too much to ask for… How do you know?" The other Inkling cocked an eyebrow curiously.

Sharq crossed his arms. "I read about something like that in a book before."

"Really?" His teammate perked up. "What did it say?"

"It was just history and politics." Sharq shrugged his shoulders. "Basically, there was this thing called the Great Jellyfish Escape of… Of…"

The other Inkling stared at him for quite a while as he stuttered. The jellyfish around the spawn's shield seemed to recline on the floor.

"Okay, so I can't remember the year, but it was a thing," Sharq spoke, "During the Great Turf War, the jellyfish weren't really allied with anyone. There might have been some jellyfish who could have been with the Inklings, but mostly they were neutral during the early parts of the war."

"...Alright, so what?" The other Inkling inquired.

"So basically, one day the Inklings came across a band of jellyfish crossing the same place where a battle was scheduled to take place." Sharq leaned back and rested his head on a jellyfish like a pillow.

"'Scheduled'?" The other Inkling smirked, did the same, and reclined onto a jellyfish sitting nearby.

"Or… Planned? I don't know. But basically the Inklings helped the jellyfish out, and when the jellyfish settled down somewhere safe, they wanted to go visit us for helping them, and every year they visit somewhere the Inklings live as is tradition." Sharq explained with his arms crossed behind his back.

"...So how long are they going to stay?" The other Inkling asked.

"This is sorta like a vacation for them…" Sharq stated with a frown, "Maybe a week at the most?"

"...No, that can't be true," His teammate muttered, "Could it be?"

The two of them peered at each other for a moment. The jellyfish they relaxed on continued to stare around the stage in awe as if the last minute or two was the most excitement they had ever had.

"No! Holy shell, that's terrible!" The other Inkling grasped his head in horror. "One whole week of this?!"

He gestured to the jellyfish the two had laid their heads on. The jellyfish blinked, turned around, and waved at the two of them happily. Sharq could only wave back, but was then suddenly gripped by the front of his shirt, and looked back at his now crazed teammate as he shook him back and forth.

"I was almost at level fifty, man!" His tentacles vibrated angrily. "The new plaza is going to be opened any day now and I still haven't gotten the stupid captain hat everyone else has!"

"Wait, what? New plaza- Ugh, world spinning, put me down," Sharq rambled on dizzily as he was shaken to and fro.

He was dropped back into the ink quickly enough. As his teammate stood fuming, Sharq's squid head rose from the ink, and wobbled in a circle. The chirps of birds seemed to hover around his head for quite some time as he laid in a daze. He shook his head quickly, and the sounds disappeared, his squid pupils shrunken.

"Oh no. How am I gonna get paid now?" Sharq rose up from the ink back into his Inkling form.

The other Inkling huffed. "Man, forget getting paid, we'll get paid even if we throw ourselves into the water each match, but our experience will definitely suffer."

As they spoke, a sudden sound cut through the match, and a whistle pierced the otherwise stagnant match. Rows of heads turned towards the center of the arena as the sound echoed throughout the pit.

"Oh thank Cod," Sharq's teammate sighed in relief, "It's finally over."

The whistle was not the only sound to cut through the inaction. A yowl rang out from across the map, and everyone present snapped to the middle of Piranha Pit yet again, or in the jellyfishes' cases, stared more diligently.

The sound of panting gradually filled the air. Upon the crest of the conveyor belts, a black paw shot up into the sky, much to the audible shock of the Inklings. As they gasped in horror, a sizable, ragged Judd climbed atop and stood at the peak, his white fur now singed and his eyes uncharacteristically wide.

"Meeeeugh. (The… winner…)" Judd blinked and wobbled back and forth.

"Huh?" Sharq and his teammate turned to each other, stared at the jellyfish, then turned back towards Judd.

"(The winner… The winner is…)" The referee stuttered, looked up, then oohed upwards at the sky. "MewhehahahaHA! (What a purr-ty cloud! HehahahaHA!)"

Judd's loony arms swung back and forth as he guffawed at the sky. He spun around once, twice, and on the third spin, fell over onto his back with a squeak noise as if he were a plush toy. The entire arena watched on in silence at the collapsed cat. The Inklings were paralyzed with shock scribbled all over their faces. Sharq and his teammate stood hunched with their jaws dangled over the floor.

"...Um." Sharq placed his hands under his chin, then on his head, and clamped his mouth back closed. "So who won?"

* * *

"The Turf Wars are cancelled?!"

Unfortunately, the whole of Inkopolis Plaza continued to be flooded with jellyfish up at the waist. As Sharq and his new acquaintance stood in front of Inkopolis Tower, they both gazed worriedly at Judd as he sat atop a small blue pillar. Underneath them, jellyfish continued to flock about mindlessly, with cameras and phones that would bob out of the layer of jellies every now and again.

Judd had plenty of bandages stuck to his fur as he laid, wide awake, and his expression fierce and irritated. "Hiss. (I can't judge under these conditions. Sorry boys, but my paws are tied.)"

"Really?" Sharq frowned and crossed his arms. "Isn't there like a team for this or something? Like an official one responsible for the... Rules... Or something?"

"One week," The other Inkling whispered with a shake of his head as he stared down at the jellyfish, "One whole week."

Judd shook his head with a scowl. "Nya. (Nah. The organizers left Inkopolis Plaza a while ago in search of new turf to purr-vide their services. Ever hear of Inkopolis Square?)"

"The new place, right? For Turf Wars and stuff?" Sharq snapped his fingers. "Yeah, I've heard of that."

"(It's been two years,)" Judd huffed, "(And if there's anything I know about you Inklings, you're trend-setters and follow popularity like moths with lamps. This place was going to get old eventually.)"

Sharq sighed and glanced around the plaza. "I guess... But wouldn't we get an update for that or something?" He turned upwards and peered at a large television screen to the right of the tower atop the Squid Sisters Studio. "Like y'know, from Callie and Marie?

Judd's jowls shifted uncomfortably. "Meeeeee… ow. (About that… You know Inkopolis News is… Well, over?)"

"Huh?" Sharq arched an eyebrow. "It's over?"

Judd nodded, then lifted himself up, and stood over his purple pillow. He took the pillow, tilted it on its side, and revealed a small black television remote underneath. As Sharq watched curiously, Judd picked up the remote and pointed it up towards the screen, then tapped a button.

As the screen buzzed to life, Judd turned to Sharq and spoke, "Mew. (I usually watch when the plaza's empty.)"

Sharq nodded slowly, then turned back towards the screen. It buzzed to life, and color filled the rectangle, which revealed an error screen. Judd clicked the remote a few times, and the screen flashed multiple times as a result. The screen seemed to be a blur, the two watched, but Sharq could not make out a single clear image from the barrage of colors. He glanced over at Judd for a split second, and stepped back, as a reflection of thousands upon thousands of different hues and tints flashed in his golden irises.

Judd finally clicked another button, and the television shut off, with that he turned to Sharq. "Mew? Meeeow. (You didn't get any of that, did you? The point is, no community of Inklings wants to hang around a dying hotspot for long. And with all of these jellyfish, the plaza's been practically deserted.)"

Judd and Sharq suddenly glanced down at the floor.

"(...Barely an Inkling around.)" Judd shrugged as he curled up into a ball.

"So… Wait." Sharq spun his finger in a circle. "Then even if these jellyfish weren't here-"

"Aaaagh!" A scream reverberated throughout the plaza.

Judd and Sharq frowned and spun towards the crowd of jellyfish. Both of them squinted at the herd, but found no identifiable individuals in the crowd who might have screamed. While they surveyed the area, the sound of heavy panting began to catch their attention.

Sharq frowned and glanced at Judd, who arched a furry brow back at him. "Meow. (That's not me.)"

Before he could say anything, Sharq felt a pair of hands grips his back, and was spun around to face a stern Inkling with his Splash Goggles now removed and his orange eyes piercing Sharq's own. "One whole week of this?! No Turf Wars at ALL? You can't be serious, no!"

"Uh," Sharq coughed and attempted to smile, "Well, I mean, it's not a year at-"

"No!" The other Inkling slammed his hands on the sides of his head. "Oh, Cod, this is a nightmare! Screw that!"

"Huh?" Sharq scratched underneath his cap.

The grip on Sharq's shoulders only grew in severity. "I've been disconnected from over one-hundred matches. I've lost at least thousands more. All my teammates wanted to do was party. SQUID PARTY." The other Inkling began to shake him back and forth. "I've had to deal with at least THREE hackers, and you won't believe what shell I had to suffer through in Ranked-"

"Please stop." Sharq requested dizzily.

As soon as he said so, Sharq yelped as he was tossed to the side. There was a sharp cat yowl and a crash sound equivalent to a car's explosion.

"Oh! Why Cod, ugh," The other Inkling cried out to the sky as he kneeled down in the jellyfish. "Can't something go RIGHT for once without something stupid coming up and ruining everything?!"

Sharq laughed in a delusional daze as he stared up at the sky absentmindedly. Dislodged from his pillar, Judd clung to Sharq's Takoroka Mesh, and shooed away any jellyfish who happened to edge too close.

The other Inkling sighed, trudged over through the jellyfish, and took a seat by the pillar. "...Sorry."

"Whuh?" Sharq blinked, then shook his head, the stars rotating around his crown gradually began to fade "Hold on..."

"It's just that… You know… Turf Wars are supposed to be fun, right?" He wrapped his arms together over his knees. "Why do I have to deal with all this? I should just be able to jump in."

Sharq's eyes rolled as he clutched his head with one hand. "Everything's mixed up."

"Exactly," The other Inkling huffed, "The one day I think things are going to go normal-"

Sharq blinked, and for a brief second, turned to his teammate. His eyes widened at his brother as he lounged in the pool of jellyfish, his trademark look of worry and indifference mixed together on his face.

Splin turned to Sharq with a scowl. "And now we're stuck with this now. Cod." He blinked and looked down at the jellyfish. "This is a problem, huh Sharq? Normally I'd probably go nuts and start complaining or something, but the thing is, I'm not here to do that."

Sharq's eyes were about as wide as dinner plates as he stared at Splin as he laid with his arms crossed behind his head.

Splin smirked, leaned on a jellyfish, and yawned once. "But since I've got my hands full… What are you going to do, Sharq? How're you gonna play in Turf Wars now? We need to pay for food somehow, bro."

Immediately, Sharq reached down at his shirt, and rubbed the white fabric against his eyes back and forth rapidly. He reopened his eyes, blinked once, twice, then a dozen more times before he finally reopened them fully. Sharq's teammate sat in the jellyfish pool, laid on his back, with his Splash Goggles wrapped about his forehead and his eyes tiredly pointed skywards.

Sharq began to sweat. _"Oh no. I've caught what Splin has."_

Or you have a really active imagination.

Sharq's ears perked up and his mouth suddenly curled into a smile. "Voice!"

The other Inkling frowned on his bed of jellyfish, but continued to stare up at the sky aimlessly. Sharq stood up, and in the process, knocked over a handful of jellyfish like bowling pins. The scattered, and a series of them fell over on their sides, the flashes and clicks of phones and cameras setting off filling the plaza with ruckus.

"Where have you been?" Sharq scowled with his hands on his hips. "It felt like months!"

Yeah.

The jellyfish continued to lay on their sides rather calmly despite having been tipped as if they were cattle of the sea. Sharq's teammate turned his head slowly to Judd; the cat simply shrugged and laid his head down to rest.

"...Okay then. What were you saying?" Sharq asked again.

The sound of shouts, laughs, and a cacophony of other raucous noise buzzed in Sharq's ears. Sharq looked from side to side in absolute confusion. Given that the jellyfish on the ground were too busy being motionless, he highly doubted both the credibility of them as the noise as well as his own sanity.

"...What is going on?" Sharq finally asked up towards the sky.

Well, I was going to direct you in the right direction, like an OMNIPOTENT NARRATOR SHOULD BE ABLE TO, but it seems as though I have company.

As the voice's words echoed in Sharq's head, so did the sound of furniture toppling and absolute buffoonery. Sharq furrowed his brow as his ears tilted, vague words being yelled and spun about by background voices.

"Friends of yours?" Sharq's eyes lit up in curiosity.

I'll see you later, Sharq.

"Wait!" Sharq reached up at the sky for a moment, only for the noises to stop, much to his disappointment. "Aw."

"Um…"

Sharq's hearts nearly skipped a beat (or three) as he spun around. Much to his disappointment, he found that the other voice came from his teammate as he laid on the ground, his eyes low and his mouth pursed in concern.

He raised a finger into the air and pointed. "Do you need any… Help?"

Sharq smiled and shook his head. "I'm fine, thanks." He glanced over towards the left of the tower. "I guess I'll just have to figure things out as I go."

"I dunno if that's a safe option." His teammate frowned.

Sharq stared over at the Booyah Base. A majority of the doors were still shut in place and firmly closed. He surveyed the scene, and managed to find one glass door was open among the four different stores. A stream of jellyfish continued to revolve in and out of the doors in a long line. With a smile, Sharq strolled across the jelly-field, and into the store, lifting his legs carefully over each jellyfish.

* * *

"Yes, yes, very quality fabrics, you can be assured, these fabrics are the very dictionary word of quality," Jelonzo announced.

A collection of different shirts on coat hangers were lifted up in the air; they dangled on Jelonzo's tentacles and swung back and forth. Jelonzo looked eagerly at each and every one of the jellyfish present in his store currently standing in front of him. They continued to stand and blink at him.

"...Erm, uh, with prices low to match the quality! Er, that is to say, good price!" Jelonzo chuckled nervously.

Each and everyone of the jellyfish retrieved a cell phone from their shirts. They aimed it towards Jelonzo, tapped the screen, and a flash of light erupted from each device. A few seconds later, Jelonzo's eyes vision cleared up to reveal a crowd of disinterested jellyfish slink out of his store.

"Ohhh…" Jelonzo lowered his shirts. "Well… Come back whenever! ...If you have money..." He turned around with sunken shoulders.

"Um, Jelonzo?"

The jellyfish shopkeeper perked up suddenly and turned around at the speed of sound, which caused a few of his shirts to fly off around the store. "Yes?!"

Sharq stood there and wobbled back and forth with his arms behind his back. "Uh… Can I ask you a question?"

Jelonzo seemed to brighten up, which at night might have made him look much more festive. "Yes? What would you like your brain to absorb?"

"...Well… It's about the migration." Sharq spoke up.

"...Migration?" Jelonzo's tentacles began to sink to the floor, when suddenly he spun around and crossed two of his appendages together stubbornly. "No. No more migration talk. Unless you purchase any good quality clothes, make like birds and go away. I'm busy."

"C'mon… Please?" Sharq smiled sweetly.

Jelonzo stayed silent with his arms crossed. He began to tap his tentacles on the floors and hum a tune as Sharq continued to stand and watch.

"...I have a few coins with me," Sharq spoke up slowly, "Could I maybe buy 'migration talk'?"

Jelonzo reached up with one tentacle and adjusted his cap. "No talk."

Sharq's shoulders began to sink as well and his smile began to waver. "...Not even a little?"

"...Not unless you buy quality shirts." Jelonzo turned somewhat, an eagerness in his eyes.

Sharq smiled and reached into his shorts' pockets. "Thank you so much."

Jelonzo shook his head and turned around. "Very quick. Very quick, Jelonzo is very busy. I find good shirt, you talk, okay?"

"Oh, um, right." Sharq pumped his fist in the air. "Well… For starters…"

* * *

AN: I was planning on writing Aussie's backstory, work on other spin-offs, or continue Aquatic Instinct's story and characters, but quite a few things have happened recently that have made it difficult to write. Also some crossover nonsense that I have yet to really figure out on whether or not it actually affects the Chi segment of this story I've wanted to finish. Regardless, it is nice to be back. Have a miniature Sharq arc for the time being.

Thanks Darkstar248 and Anon 2000 for reviewing.

Darkstar248, I always appreciate the input, but how I decide to spend my time washing my appliances is my business, and I am proud of shiny toasters, thank you.

Two, to be frank, I don't know about you anons going wild and helping me write. Heck, most of the discussion was Three and I laughing over stupid nonsense while eating ice cream together. You're welcome to come over and help me with it sometimes, but I think we should all show a little more restraint.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, remember to get capacitive styli for drawing in Splatoon 2!


	77. The Plotting and the Planning (MigVac 2)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **The Plotting and the Planning**

"So, you're a cat," Sharq's teammate asked, "An honest to Cod cat?"

He laid with his chest atop a small couch of jellyfish with his legs up in the air with his boots on the verge of slipping off his socks. The jellyfish underneath him snapped photos of his shoes as they dangled as well as take a few pictures of Judd as he laid atop his miniature pillar.

"Mew? (Yes? What about it?)" Judd purred with a peculiar expression on his face.

"About that Splatfest- Y'know, the first one?" He crossed his arms underneath his chest. "I've been meaning to ask, what'd you think of it?"

Judd shrugged as he lounged. "(I still think I'm the winner here.)"

"Why?" He raised his hand while he sunk further down into the depths. "You're legally the worse animal. That can't feel good. It can't feel good at all."

"(I'm also the only one of the two animals that survived. Do you see any dogs?)" Judd inquired while his jowls curled up into a grin.

The Inkling frowned. "Oh."

"Hey! Heeeey! Guys!"

The Inkling and Judd perked up. As the Inkling shoved the jellyfish away and sat up straight on the pavement, he watched Sharq bound across the sea of jellyfish giddily, a large smile present on Sharq's face as he leapt through the crowd. Wrapped in his arms were several layers of various different shirts and clothing. Some of which were left behind with each jump, granting several jellyfish passerby new fashion as Sharq hopped.

He skidded to a stop in front of the tower and waved at his teammate with his right hand. "Guys, I figured it out."

"Figured what out?" The other Inkling placed his right palm flat on his own cheek absentmindedly.

"The answer to our problem! I figured it out!" Sharq beamed as his teammate perked up.

His hand dropped to his side. "The jellyfish problem?"

Sharq nodded his head rapidly. "Uh-huh! Jelonzo told me that it's easy! We just need to broadcast to the entirety of Inkopolis!"

A handful of birds had collected around the bottom of Inkopolis Tower. A few had flocked together on the horde jellyfish occupying the main center of the plaza, and had taken to their posts with an affectionate display of coos and chirps.

"Uh, when's that new plaza opening?" Sharq's teammate brushed away at his tentacles as a pigeon began to nestle in his head.

"Meow. (Soon. Ish. Soonish)" Judd explained as he eyed the pigeon atop the Inkling's crown.

Judd licked his chops eagerly. The pigeon simply pecked the top of the other Inkling's head as he stared back at the cat Judd and the Inkling stared at each other for a few moments, albeit for two different reasons. The pigeon cooed ignorantly as he sat atop his head, and pecked at his tentacles and the band holding them closely together

"Oh good, go-" The Inkling coughed suddenly, and then laid back into the sea of jellyfish with a whimper, "Good."

He buried his face in one of the jellyfish and held it close to him. The other Inkling shivered and shook, and through the translucent membrane of the jellyfish's head, Sharq watched as he sniffled behind the jellyfish.

"Real good." He squeaked miserably.

"Oh, come on, you didn't even let me finish," Sharq complained, "Jelonzo said it was going to be easy."

"(What did Jelonzo say?)" Judd's tail shook back and forth upright.

Sharq cleared his throat. "Well, it went like this-"

* * *

"And no one can play Turf Wars anymore." Sharq shook his head wearily. "At least, that's what Judd says, since he can't act as the ref."

"Ah. Yes, jellyfish and hotspots combine like moths to fires. Very bad sign, not fine at all," Jelonzo muttered darkly.

From the outside looking in, one could have sworn that Jelly Fresh was being robbed by a tornado. Jelonzo's tentacles blurred the air as they launched about and scattered and retrieved items at the speed of sound. One tentacle snatched a t-shirt while another one extended towards Sharq, the tentacle gestured towards Sharq patiently.

"Um." Sharq tilted his head at the curious appendage as it wiggled at him.

After a moment, the tentacle gestured again, and bended the tip backwards repeatedly like a hand's fingers. It pointed ergently towards his pockets.

Sharq hopped up in his place. "Oh! Right, sorry."

He reached into his pockets and retrieved a small wallet. The tentacle began to wag back and forth excitably as Sharq reached inside of the billfold. His arm reached deep into the relatively small wallet, and eventually reemerged with several stacks of coins. The tentacle stopped, and hovered in place motionlessly, as if shocked deep to its core.

"Sorry. It's all I have on me." Sharq rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly with his left hand.

The tentacle tapped the stack of coins carefully. Surprisingly, it rose into the air, and vibrated intensely before it retreated to the back of the room. The tentacle shot towards Jelonzo, paused just behind him, and tapped him on his shoulder. As the rest of his appendages swerve about the store rapidly, Jelonzo turned around towards the tentacle curiously, the other tentacles still busy at work. The tentacle pointed back at Sharq as he marveled about the room, and Jelonzo perked up at the appendage.

Sharq ducked beneath a tentacle as it flew past; his mouth was open in awe. "Wow."

Just then, it felt as though something had nudged his shoulder. Sharq turned around, and nearly spilled the coins as he hopped into the air, as Jelonzo had appeared right besides him with an eager stare.

"You having the coins?" Jelonzo's eyes grew as one of his tentacles nodded enthusiastically; Jelonzo then turned to the tentacle with a scowl. "Shh. Remember, customer is always good."

The tentacle nodded again, then turned towards Sharq, only to stop in place patiently in front of him.

"How many G coins?" Jelonzo eyed him curiously. "Lots of Gs?"

Sharq jolted up, then raised the stack of currency in front of him, the tower of coins halfway stacked towards the ceiling. Activity in the store grinded to a halt; tentacles stopped unhooking clothing from racks and froze in place. Jelonzo's eyes might as well have been white U.F.O.s as they gawked at the stack of cash.

"Ooh, la la la la la!" He sang out gleefully. "That's good! Many Gs! GG! G-"

"Yep, yep, Lots of Gs." Sharq rubbed the back of his head. _"_ But what about the migration?"

For a moment, as Jelonzo stared back at Sharq, the expression on his face could not have been more unaware. That is, until five seconds later, when one of Jelonzo's tentacles literally smacked the senses back into the jellyfish's head.

"I, er um oh," Jelonzo stuttered, then shook his head rapidly, and turned back to Sharq with a curt nod. "Many apologizing! Jelonzo has the business failure fever, like they say. Many apologizing."

Jelonzo swiped the coins out of Sharq's hands in a flash, and placed them on the floor in the back corner of the store. His tentacles reacted quickly; they returned to their business and snatched clothes off of the racks as well as the walls at a tremendously rapid pace.

"The migration," Jelonzo began, "Is a special time for us jellyfish. Festival of the splat is like migration of jellyfish special, in fact. The migration days are small in space on our calendars, you see. Small in days and in numbers."

"How long do they last?" Sharq asked curiously.

"Eh, well, let me see." Jelonzo retracted a tentacle. "One, two, three…"

Each and every one of the tentacles previously attempting to snatch clothes were recalled back to Jelonzo's side as he counted. While he went through the numbers one by one, the tentacles rose up into the air as if their names were called. Eventually, several tentacles, about ten in number were hoisted up in the air, and Jelonzo was almost completely obscured by his own arms and legs.

As if parting leaves out of his face, Jelonzo brushed through the forest of his own tentacles and shook his head. "Many apologizing, Jelonzo lacks the tentacles for counting."

"Is that one each per month or?" Sharq tilted his head confusedly.

"Eh? Oh, no no, each tentacle is a day for the migration time. Or it is if I had fourteen of the tentacles." Jelonzo nodded slowly as his tentacles extended across the shop again. "Only each ten years. It's even more excluding than the festival of the splat!"

"Then that means…" Sharq began to sweat. "Two weeks? They're going to be here for two weeks?"

Sharq turned towards Jelonzo worriedly. As if blissfully unaware, Jelonzo returned to Sharq with bright eyes while his tentacles continued to scramble about the room.

"Ta-da," Jelonzo announced cheerfully as the tentacles returned to him, "Your order, customer."

Sharq stared down at the pile of clothes. "Oh! Uh, thanks."

"Yes! Thanks be to you." Jelonzo bowed for a moment.

The jellyfish stayed frozen in his posture for quite some time. Sharq eyes wandered around the room until they refocused reluctantly back on Jelonzo.

"Um." Sharq rose his hand. "Jelonzo?"

Jelonzo did not say a word. He continued to bow honorably at Sharq with two of his tentacles still extended with the pile of clothes out in his tentacles. Despite his confusion, Sharq took it upon himself to bow back; although, concern had festered upon his face.

"Jelonzo," Sharq repeated after another moment passed, "Are you there?"

Jelonzo's eyes suddenly blanked out. The tentacles studiously offering clothes to Sharq then fell slack to the floor, and with them the clothes as well. Not long after that, Jelonzo followed suit, and fell facedown into the pile of clothes.

Sharq gasped in horror, then kneeled down, and gawked at Jelonzo as he laid motionlessly on the clothing. "Jelonzo?!"

A sickly groan answered back. Quickly, Sharq spun Jelonzo onto his back, and carefully set his head back down on the clothes. Jelonzo blinked sluggishly as he stared upwards at the ceiling, his cap haphazardly fallen at his side, and his head extraordinarily swollen. There was a spherical bump atop his crown, and it jiggled back and forth as if it wanted to escape.

"Eeugh!" Sharq backed away slightly. "What happened?"

Jelonzo ceased blinking, and gazed straight up at Sharq. "This migration has… Stressing." He rested back into the clothes. "Jellyfish are not buying the high quality body cloths… Not like Inklings, like you. They have the bad fashion bug."

Jelonzo jiggled, as did the lump on his head, and coughed as if someone hawked from the inside of a bubbling fish tank full of water. The lump only seemed to enlarge itself as Jelonzo himself throbbed in place.

"Oough," Jelonzo groaned as he threw his head back, "They're busying themselves taking the souvenir photos. No souvenir cloths have had any selling."

"That's why?" Sharq questioned as he inspected the bump.

Jelonzo shrugged shakily. "Well…"

"Then I guess we're going to have to do something about these jellyfish!" Sharq thrusted his fist up into the air.

"Jelonzo was just going to say-" Jelonzo thrusted one tentacle into the air slowly.

Just then, the glass door burst open, and an entourage of jellyfish approached the entrance. As soon as they arrived, the group of jellies lifted cameras up into the air, and took aim at the inside of Jelly Fresh. Before a single photo could be snapped, one of Jelonzo's tentacles reached for the door, and pulled it shut. Sharq could barely react before he was pulled in towards Jelonzo's face where the store owner's eyes were humongous.

"Please." Jelonzo's eyes bulged. "I am needing the vacation from this migraine. I just have not been doing asking. Shooing customers is not the politeness, please to the understanding."

A small smirk rose on Sharq's face. "I know this is sort of a bad time to say this."

"What? Speak to Jelonzo your mind's business!" Jelonzo implored Sharq.

"Could you say you need a vacation from this 'migraine-tion'?" Sharq cracked a toothy grin.

Jelonzo stared long and hard at Sharq; however, unlike his jellyfish brethren, Jelonzo's eyes were dangerously sharp. Sharq laughed nervously, then yelped, as a blue, slimy whip cracked against his face.

"Ow!" Sharq rubbed his face. "...Okay, fine, that one's on me."

Jelonzo pulled him in close again. "Customer, please to the understanding, this is a serious problem. The serious of serious. Jelly Fresh needs Gs to help Inklings do the clothes shopping. The Inkopolis Square opens in sooner times, and Gs have been small." He leered up at the Inkling's face. "If jellyfish keep with only the photographing, my business will be the most poorest of poor. My career will be ruining by the days. And worser than all-"

One of Jelonzo's tentacles spiralled upwards. It stopped over his head then pointed directly down at the small blob upon his crown urgently.

"I might be sleeping with the fishes," Jelonzo yelled as the tentacle writhed wildly, "Sleeping at the door of Unfreshville! The ville of unfreshness! Blrblrlbrblraaaaagh!"

Sharq bit his lip as he was unravelled, and was left to sit down on the floor. "Okay. Okay. This isn't good."

Jelonzo shook his head back and forth as one of his tentacles snaked back towards the floor, retrieved his hat, and replaced it back on top of the bump. "My own days are even more short than the migration. I must be speaking to uncle; I need help."

"That's why I came here," Sharq asserted while he stood tall, "I need to know how I can help."

Jelonzo sighed. "You would be helping old Jelonzo?"

He glanced up at the Inkling expectantly. Sharq nodded in response with a smile on his face.

Jelonzo puffed up. "Truly?"

Sharq nodded again, only quicker. As he nodded; unfortunately, his cap flung off his head and hit the floor. Embarrassed, Sharq kneeled down, and picked it off the floor.

"Yeah, of course I'll help," Sharq stated as he planted his Takoroka Mesh back on his head.

"This is excellent, then?" Jelonzo perked up. "Very well. I will tell you and you will shoo jellyfish tourists with bad fashion sense away."

Sharq nodded again while he crossed his legs over each other as he sat. Jelonzo glanced at him, then towards the doors, where several jellyfish stood with little actual interest in the store. As they bumped into one another absentmindedly, Jelonzo sighed, and stared back at Sharq.

"Now then," Jelonzo stretched his arms, "To start, we need to get their attentions. Jellyfish flock to freshness, you understanding?"

"All of them?" Sharq glanced backwards out the window.

Jelonzo shook his head. "Only most. Lots of jellyfish."

"How are we going to do that?" Sharq wondered aloud as he gawked out the window.

Sharq watched the jellyfish wander about aimlessly. A waterfall of jellyfish spilled from the top floor in front of the Squid Sisters' studio into the large pool underneath them, and camera flashes continued throughout the plaza. To the left, Sharq could see the other Inkling and Judd, the pair seemingly deluged with jellyfish up to their knees. They stared up towards the television, and surfed through the channels, neither particularly interested.

Eventually, as the television continued to switch through the channels, it soon cut to a live broadcast. Two figures, one clad in white and the other in black, flashed on the screen for a minute. As the figures appeared on-screen, a handful of the jellyfish stopped immediately, and let themselves be drawn to the screen. The waterfall of jellyfish even seemed to freeze in place. In a blink of an eye; however, the channel was switched to another show, and the jellyfish returned to doing nothing.

Sharq arched an eyebrow. "Attract their attention."

He and Jelonzo turned to each other. Both of their eyes lit up brightly, then as if synchronized, they spun back out towards the plaza and gawked at the television.

"Bingo was his name-o." Jelonzo hugged his hat to his chest.

"Yeah." Sharq nodded.

* * *

"So basically, we thought that could work," Sharq finished with his hands on his hips, "We broadcast to the jellyfish and tell them there's somewhere cooler to visit. Are you in?"

Judd and the other Inkling simply stared at him. A few of the jellyfish did as well. Even with all this attention on him, the plaza was silent except for the sound of chewing.

Judd blew feathers out of his mouth. "Meeeow... (That's…)"

"That's your plan?" The other Inkling scowled.

"I mean, right now?" Sharq shrugged. "Yes?"

The other Inkling rolled his eyes. "Oh please."

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Sharq asked with a frown.

"What's wrong with it?" The other Inkling stood up. "What's wrong with it? You wanna know what's wrong with it?"

Sharq crossed his arms, and glared at his teammate in the eyes and pouted. "Yes."

The other Inkling released his grip on his jellyfish pillow, and let it sink into the crowd, then walked closer to Sharq. "What's wrong with it. I'll tell you what's wrong. For one, it- It's- It's- It's nonsensical, impossible even. I mean, how are you going to broadcast to these jellyfish?"

"We'll get into the Squid Sisters' studio and do it." Sharq gestured upwards.

"How?" The other Inkling scowled. "It's been closed ever since they split up."

Sharq blinked for a second. "Wait, who split up?"

The plaza was silent yet again. Sharq's teammate and Judd could only stare at him. Sharq's pupils were minuscule, then gradually grew, the black dots in his eyes almost overtaking the hazel irises.

"Okay, um, I didn't know that, but we can still get in." Sharq smiled. "My brother knows someone who could help."

"But- Even then-" The other Inkling began.

Judd tilted his head. "Mrow. (Just go with him.)"

Sharq's teammate blinked and turned towards the cat. "I-"

Judd's tail swung about back and forth. The other Inkling scowled, pushed away a few jellyfish from his feet, and walked to Judd.

"Are you hearing this?" The other Inkling gestured back to Sharq. "He wants to make all these jellyfish just leave. We can't herd these guys. They'll never go for it."

"('Never', huh?)" The other Inkling turned and nodded at the cat as he lounged patiently. "(I've heard that word a lot my life. And y'know? Never is a purr-etty paw-ful word.)"

"Huh?" The other Inkling frowned.

"(There's Inklings who've said they'll never win, and there still are plenty. I've seen a lot of them. But even a few of the people who have said never to something before still pulled through and did it anyways. Saying you could 'never do it', that's not true one-hundred purr-cent of the time. The Great Turf War seemed like the Inklings could never win. And what happened?)"

The other Inkling slouched over. "That doesn't-"

Sharq chimed in, "Yeah, I mean, I think the Squidbeak Splatoon was only about five people. A few other Splatoons were only four people at least. That's only a handful of Inklings who beat back a gigantic army of Octarians armed to the beak with even more gigantic robots!"

"(You see? Just go with him. Sitting around and complaining only does so much y'know.)" Judd yawned as he curled up into a ball. "(Besides, your sniffles keep me awake.)"

The other Inkling was wordless. He watched Judd shut his eyes, then watched his chest rise up and down upon his pillow, the cat snoring peacefully as he rested. Splash Goggles stretched around his neck, he stood up straight, and turned back towards Sharq. Sharq smiled back and waved at him. He also frowned, and pushed a few jellyfish to the side with the heels of his Banana Basics, but quickly turned back to face his new acquaintance.

Sharq's teammate sighed. "Alright. Fine. We'll do your plan."

"Alrighty!" Sharq jumped into the air.

Several jellyfish began to take photos of Sharq while he was airborne. Underneath Sharq, one very inquisitive jellyfish stood inside his shadow, and took picture after picture. It eventually quit, stared at its phone, and marvelled at its own camera work. It marvelled for a few moments before Sharq landed and squashed the photographer underneath his shoes.

"Oops." Sharq lifted his basic shoes and shook them wildly.

The jellyfish fluttered off like a sheet of paper back into the crowd. The horde tracked the unfortunate jellyfish as he was blown away and eagerly snapped photographs as he floated away in the wind. The jellyfish could only wave, and Sharq waved back, all while he reached down to his Banana Basics. His teammate watched with a frown as Sharq took off his the white shoes.

"So, ready to start?" Sharq asked while he dusted off the soles.

"If we're doing this," The other Inkling shook his head down at himself and extended a hand, "Like really doing this, we're going to have to at least know each other's names."

"Oh! Right." Sharq reached towards him. "My name's Sharq!"

"Mine's Dosio," He spoke up as he gripped his hand and shook, "You sure you know what you're doing?"

"Probably!" Sharq beamed.

"Ehhh... Okay." Dosio let go of his hand and stuffed his into his pants' pocket. "Where to, Sharq?"

Sharq turned away from the tower and gazed out towards the sky. Dosio followed his gaze unsurely, but stared at the sky nonetheless. The pair of them stared upwards and outwards from the plaza out to the great beyond.

"Annnnnnd…?" Dosio arched an eyebrow.

Sharq blinked. "Sorry. First stop: My house. My brother should be there." He shrunk into squid form and sunk in the jellyfish.

Dosio could only stare, completely bewildered, as Sharq faded into the crowd. After a few seconds, Sharq's head poked out of the jellyfish and stared back at him.

"Oh, sorry. How are you at Super Jumping?" Sharq inquired.

"Cool, yeah, I can already tell this is gonna work perfectly," Dosio puffed as he reached for his Splash Goggles.

"Hah! I think you're going to like him." Sharq's eyes lit up.

* * *

AN: I'd love to write about Aussie, but at the moment this arc's story is still undergoing a strange creative process. I feel like it might break the flow, y'know?

That hasn't necessarily stopped me before, but I still feel as though I should change things up for the better.

Thanks write n wrong for reviewing! I did think about Salmon Run's inclusion in this story, but I still have a lot of story bits unrelated to Splatoon 2. Plus, I think this story is getting too long to include Splatoon 2 storylines in it. Maybe I'll have to make a third story just to keep things from getting cluttered. "The Brothers Break Even" or something? "The Brothers' Adventures Beyond"? I dunno, maybe the name needs work, or maybe I don't even need to do that.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, remember to reduce use of text emoticons for maximum professional texts.


	78. Stay, Migrate, Ignore (MigVac 3)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Staycation Migration Ignoration and Lengthy Explanations**

"Screwdriver please," Splin muttered as he extended his right arm to the side.

Splin wiped blue drops of sweat off his brow with his left hand for the hundredth time. Unfortunately, whereas the grass continued to sprout with the sun shining overhead, all Splin grew was fatigued. Not to mention sweaty. His headphones were nearly waterlogged with nothing but the color blue as they laid strewn around his neck.

As he sighed and wiped away a deluge of blue droplets from his brow, Splin cocked one eye open and glanced to the left. "Uh, screwdriver?"

A bulky, colorful toolbox laid by his side. The box suddenly twitched as Splin spoke, then the box's top lid flung open revealed a small array of tools. Among the several wrenches, drills, and mechanical saws, a single metal screwdriver laid tightly between the rest of the various instruments. Splin reached down to the toolbox with his left hand while his body struggled to stay upright.

Before he could touch the screwdriver, the toolbox suddenly clamped down on his hand like a clam and flashed rapidly. The box beamed with light like a disco ball as it munched to its own content. Splin's hand also shifted in color, only his case blemished into a purplish-blue.

"Aah!" Splin bashed the toolbox with his right hand. "Down cube, down!"

Splin swung his left hand up, which carried the toolbox and shook it back and forth wildly. The toolbox stuck stubbornly to his hand while the surface of the box flashed with the entire color spectrum. Though his hand felt as though it were melting, Splin gawked around the roof and eventually spied a large metal rod lying upon the other side. Without hesitation, he switched into a blue squid, slid towards the other side of the roof, and gripped the rod with his left tentacle.

"Huh." Splin lifted his arm up off the floor and shook it back and forth.

Splin rose back up as an Inkling and wriggled his left fingers hesitantly. He dropped the rod and let it fall down to the floor with an audible clang. His fingers felt sore as he gawked at the toolbox as it laid face-down and upside-down on the ground. Several tools laid sprawled out on the roof next to the toolbox. With a scowl and while he caressed his swollen hand, Splin walked tentatively towards the box and nudged it with the tip of his shoe.

A silent moment passed until Splin spoke up, "Tele?"

The metal instruments, as well as the toolbox itself, flashed, sparked, and rattled violently. All of a sudden, the utensils began to move. Every tool except for the screwdriver began to slide back and underneath the box's lid. As the tools returned to the container, sparks flew from the toolbox, which fizzled out as they fell upon the roof. Splin could only watch as the object swiftly erupted in flames.

Exasperation plagued Splin as he gazed at the new metal box. "Okay. Sure."

The new toaster oven opened its glass door and responded back with a tray stacked with toasted bagels, all flipped over with the flat side pointing skywards. Several of the bagels had been coated with different colored spreads, some of which resembled jam, and others that wore soot and cinders for dressing.

Splin could only stare at the device and its treats with his arms crossed. "...Can't we just build the flipping Beakon?"

Splin squinted at the bagels. He reached over again carefully with his right hand with one eye cocked at the toaster oven. Ever cautious, he held his hand over the baked goods. Despite the charred crusts, Splin felt only a subtle warmth as his hand hovered above the bagels. Splin stuffed one hand in his pockets, blew on the bagels, then picked one up and took a nibble.

Splin immediately spat the bite out, as well as several blue globs. "Eugh!" He lowered the bagel to the floor and eyed the blue substance. "Blech! Ink jam?"

Splin raised his arm and rapidly wiped his tongue with his tee's sleeve. Splin sputtered and shook his head, only to freeze in place as he glanced towards the appliance. The toaster oven beeped sadly as the bagels slid away with the wind.

"Sorry." Splin reeled his tongue in reluctantly and shivered uncomfortably at the taste. "This is just… Weird. You know. It's not every day your toolbox disintegrates into a-"

He paused. Splin sniffed the air again and blew at the cloud of smoke that puffed up.

"Let me rephrase that," Splin admitted, "It's startling, y'know? Falling apart like that then suddenly—out of the blue—Rematerializing like nothing happen."

Splin frowned suddenly. He glanced at both his arms in disdain, down at two scars wrapped in a circle around both of his appendages, both adorned with small bandages that displayed portraits of cutesy squid mascots. Splin and the toaster shared a stare at the bandage bracelets.

"I mean… Well..." Splin groaned, "Screw it, it's weird, that's what it is. Are you okay?"

The toaster oven rustled back at him. As it stopped, the toaster's tray snapped off and several bagels fled from the chamber. Each one rolled in a different direction: a few quickly toppled over and fell flat on the floor, other bagels rolled over the side of the roof and fell, and a few disintegrated. Several bagels literally burned to minuscule crisps and floated away in the summer breeze. Finally, the toaster shivered and wheezed out a plume of smoke, which drifted off into the sky. In a matter of seconds, the toaster gave a final hiss, then promptly crumbled into pieces.

"Oh ship," Splin cried out wide-eyed, "No, nevermind!"

Alarmed, Splin dropped to his knees and reached for the pieces. As soon as his hand brushed through the debris, they glowed brightly and suddenly reassembled. Unfortunately, they happened to reassemble back into a toolbox, and clamped back onto Splin's hand.

"Agh!" Splin's entire body shot up as the box tightened. "C'mon, you're really making helping you harder than it needs to beeaaagh!"

The box gnawed on his palm and continued to climb up his arm, happy to snack away on his seafood. Splin cried out with each bite and began to push the box repeatedly with his free hand as it climbed up towards his arm's scar. After a series of bashes to the metal object, the toolbox's grip on him loosened and slid down and off his hand back onto the roof. Splin groaned as he held his left hand in his now bruised right hand. He nudged the box with his shoe, only to step away as the box tried to chew into his shoe's sole.

"I don't know what's your malfunction, but until we get you fixed," Splin grumbled while he shuffled away, "We're not fixing this Beakon!"

Splin peeped across the roof as he flailed his arm about. On the opposite corner of the roof stood a single Squid Beakon. However, the main dish of the Beakon sagged and leaned crooked on its side, and stood up on three legs: one leg stood perfectly straight and shined with polish, another leg stood short, and the third leg was split in half with one piece still attached and the other rolling around the roof in a circle.

Splin wiped another wave of sweat off his brow, recoiled as his sore hand throbbed at the touch, and shook his head. "Or at least making sure that this doesn't kill someone when they jump."

Splin reached into his pocket with his good hand and retrieved a small, folded sheet of paper. He began to unfold the paper, keeping a close eye on the toolbox, until it expanded above his head into a tall set of blueprints. Inscribed in the blueprints were several lines of directions, each one more extensive and complicated than the last. The middle of the blueprints displayed the Squid Beakon like it was on the roof, except this diagram was slightly well-crafted.

"Just when I thought I had you out of my head." Splin ruffled the sheet and frowned at the sky.

Aside from the text printed in the blueprints, the paper had plenty of notes written down in pen ink, with calligraphy befitting that of a toddler.

"Oh joy. I missed you Mr. Critic." Splin rolled his eyes. "My world was just falling apart without you."

While Splin remained blissfully ignorant of the fragile nature of his universe, with a shake of his head, he folded the blueprints back into a compact square of paper and slipped it back inside of his shorts' pocket.

"Alright, I'm done," He sighed as he glanced down to the roof, "This part is going to be fun."

He bent over and pressed his hand sideways to the floor a handful of steps away from the toolbox, which stared at him as he moved. As he reached for the handle, he hesitated again, but reached for the box again regardless. It growled viciously, then chomped at Splin, who quickly stuffed his hand back down his pocket.

"Tele, go downstairs!" Splin scolded as he waggled his free finger at the toolbox.

The toolbox began to bark at Splin repeatedly. It chomped towards him, hungrily pining for Splin's hand.

"...Well, it was worth a try." Splin sighed.

Splin yelped in alarm. Stuffing both hands safely down his pockets, he began to sprint around the roof with the ravenous toolbox nipping at his heels.

Splin leaped up, spun in the air, and flipped with startling acrobatics on top of the roof, all while he screamed, "Yaaaaagh!"

As its prey hollered out into the air, the toolbox answered back with a boisterous, "Arf!"

The chase continued for several minutes, with neither one of them showing signs of stopping. As the two of them ran marathons on top of the house, the Beakon in the corner began to shiver, except neither cared to stop and stare. After several laps, the box stopped in the middle of the roof and waited eagerly. Splin skidded to a halt but was ultimately chomped.

"Gah!" Splin bounded up into the sky.

He gawked down at his heel as he flew above the roof. His left calf stung as the Tele-Box nibbled on his leg. Still airborne, he reached for his leg and began to swat the box, only to yelp again when the box chewed back harder. The two of them began to fall and smacked the floor.

Hysterically, Splin started to tug on the box as it snacked on his leg, "Stop, stop, I'm not lunch! Tele-"

The floor trembled for a moment. At the very same moment, both Splin and the toolbox paused. Then the moment passed, and the toolbox bit back into Splin's thigh.

"Hiya Splin!"

Splin screamed again, except his face now flushed blue. Splin glared while his brother smiled back down on him without a care in the world. Another Inkling laid sprawled across the roof, with fogged Splash Goggles strapped over his face.

Dosio slid them off his face and rested his head on the floor. "That was… That was fun!"

Sharq laughed. "I told you! Super Jumping's the way to travel!"

"Hi, Sharq." Splin's gaze softened.

"Oh, right. Are you having trouble?" Sharq leaned in close to his brother. "Because you look like-"

"I'm fine," Splin asserted.

The toolbox chomped down again. A tear welled up in Splin's eye and a scream clogged his throat.

Splin, as he and his brother stared at one another, uttered a dignified whimper. "Tele, I will take you and throw you in the fireplace if you don't-"

"Tele?" Sharq tilted his head. "What are you talking about?"

"Um," Dosio piped up, "So…"

Splin huffed as he jabbed the box with his elbow. "Sharq, how many inanimate objects do we have are known for being able to do almost anything to inflict pain, and is known for being able to do- or be anything- Do we have in this house?"

"Two maybe," Sharq answered back.

Splin narrowed his eyes at his brother. "...What?"

Sharq rested his cheek on his knuckle. "Well, I don't know if Ann-Gel can shapeshift, but-"

"Sharq! Tele-Cube is literally eating me alive right nOw!" Splin jolted as if electrocuted, then bashed the box. "Stoooooop!"

"Oh!" Sharq perked up. "Sorry!"

Sharq kneeled down and began to pet the toolbox soothingly. His brother's mouth gaped open, yet not a sound was uttered.

Splin's elbow then nearly opened another hole in the roof. "Sharq, what the-"

As he rubbed the box, it sighed contently and promptly released Splin's leg and fell on the ground. The box shuddered as snores emerged from the box. Splin's eyes were wide, whereas Sharq simply dusted his hands off and stood proudly over the object.

"You okay?" Sharq offered a hand down to his brother.

Splin stared down at his hands. He sighed and took Sharq's hand with his own, but winced at the touch.

"I'm buying gloves," Splin stated deadpan, "And a pair of iron boots."

"Hey!"

The two brothers turned to the side. Wedged in between the roof's railings laid Dosio, whose head had managed to stick out the other side between the poles.

"So yeah, cool house and all Sharq, I especially liked the way we jumped through the heavens to get here." Dosio shook the bars. "Not a fan of these."

Splin frowned and turned back around. "Sharq?"

"Whoops! I forgot to introduce you two." Sharq smiled and walked across the roof. "Splin, meet Dosio. Dosio, Splin."

"...Hi." Splin waved unsurely down at the Inkling.

"Pleased to—" He craned his neck. "Hang on."

Dosio pulled on the railing again. The roof's bars rattled ever so slightly as he struggled to escape. He hummed, then switched into a squid, and wriggled.

"What the shell are these things made of?" The squid rustled restlessly.

"Um, hold on," Sharq piped up as he ran to the edge of the roof and switched into squid form, "So Splin, I wanna ask you something."

Splin reached down and picked up the toolbox while it snored. "Yeah?"

Sharq shifted into a squid and began to tug on his friend's tentacle. Each time he yanked Dosio's tentacle, the railing twitched.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Sharq leaned back.

Splin frowned. "Huh?"

Dosio yelped, "Ow, ow!"

"Sorry," Sharq apologized then turned back to Splin, "You know, the pink girl." Sharq flicked his tentacle as if to snap his fingers, which somehow clicked as if he had. "Lolly? Leslie?"

"...Lalai?" Splin frowned.

"That's it! That's her!" Sharq snapped his tentacle again.

Splin narrowed his eyes and cleared his throat. "Acquaintance"

"Yeah, yeah, you two are friends, you know where she is? We kinda need her help," Sharq asked while he pulled.

"Not exactly. How should I know?" Splin scowled.

"What?!" Dosio whipped his head around.

As he turned, a portion of the railing split off and fell apart. Sharq and Dosio rocketed across the roof. They slammed into the other side and succeeded in evening out the railing, with two long segments of the railing now effectively removed. Now thoroughly dazed, the two of them shook their heads and glanced back up at Splin.

Splin, for lack of a better word, was empty as he stared at the scene. "Okay."

"What- What do you mean you don't know?!" Dosio clamped his hands to his head frustratedly

"...I only talked to her… Four times." Splin's shoulders slumped.

Dosio had ice in his eyes as he turned to Sharq. Sweat began to drip down his forehead and a sheepish smile grew upon his face.

"Well I mean," Sharq chuckled nervously, "From what I've heard from her sister, I assumed-"

Sharq wheezed as Dosio gripped the collar of his shirt and began to rock him back and forth at a breakneck pace. As his brother was shaken to and fro, Splin stood rigid as if he were a statue with the toolbox snoozing by his side.

"I jumped a mile and a half! A mile and a half! Just to get stuck in a Cod forsaken-" Dosio slowed down for a second.

"Railing," Sharq slurred as his eyes lolled about in his head.

"Whatever!" Dosio dropped him on the floor. "I can't believe this."

As Sharq's eyes righted themselves, he shook his head and raised his hand. "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute!"

Sharq scurried after his acquaintance as he stormed off towards the other side of the roof. Slowly, Splin walked across the roof and reached for the shattered railing. His fingers brushed past the splintered ends and recoiled at the sharp fragments.

If it's any consolation, it was bound to happen eventually.

"Uh huh, Splin muttered.

Splin gawked at the other side of the roof and watched the other two Inklings as they stood up slowly. With his shoe, Dosio pushed a few pieces of the railing away and hung his head at the corner of the roof. While he sulked in the corner, Sharq walked up to him with his hands wrapped behind his back.

"Hey," Sharq murmured, "I'm sorry about this."

Dosio huffed and shook his head. "No need to be sorry, it's just like I thought. We aren't going to change anything, are we?"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Sharq crossed his arms. "I made one mistake so far. The plan is still intact and we're still standing."

Dosio sighed and turned around. "Can I ask you a question? A serious question?"

Sharq's face lit up. "Sure!"

"Not you." Dosio pointed away from Sharq. "Him."

Sharq's face practically spelled confusion. He and Dosio spun around to see Splin sitting just beside the trap-door of the roof. Headphones strewed across his lap as he sat, Splin stared back with mixed indignance and curiosity.

"Hmm?" Splin hummed tiredly.

"Yeah, you." Dosio stuffed his hand down into his pocket. "It has to do with him."

With his right hand, he pointed his thumb towards Sharq. Splin glanced towards his brother, who waved back jollily with a broad smile stretched across his face.

Splin arched an eyebrow. "What about him?"

Dosio crossed his arms. "Is he reliable?"

"What?!" Sharq's eyes widened. "Yes I-"

"Shush, you," Dosio hissed with disapproval, "You've done enough for now!"

Sharq's shoulders slumped. "Okay…"

Dosio angrily swiveled to Splin. "You're his brother, right? Is he reliable?"

Splin blinked slowly and turned towards his brother. Sharq looked up towards him with large, sad eyes and his arms wrapped behind his back. Splin frowned at him and Sharq's head drooped under his gaze.

"So that's a 'no', then. Alright." Dosio switched into a squid.

"Yeah."

With his head pointed upwards to the sky, Dosio tightened his tentacles and prepared to launch. A few seconds later, he jumped five feet into the air, then instantly switched back into an Inkling and fell back onto the roof. Dosio stood up straight and glared at Splin as he continued to sit on the other side of the roof.

"...Really?" Dosio tilted his head and reluctantly glanced at Sharq who waved back and smiled. "You're serious?"

"Look, I know my brother may look…" Splin bit his lip and glanced to the side. "Like my brother, but-"

"Come on!" Sharq's cap nearly fell off his head.

"But," Splin shouted back and Sharq quieted immediately, "He is reliable."

"Give an example," Dosio demanded.

Splin blinked in surprise. "Wow. You really don't trust him."

Sharq's upright posture deflated. "Oh…"

"No, hold on." Dosio shook his head at Sharq. "I just want to know."

"Alright, Dosio, right?" Splin arched an eyebrow to which Dosio nodded back at him. "Let me make this clear right here and right now: I trust Sharq with my life."

Dosio stared long and hard at him. A grin curled up on Dosio's face as he stared. However, after a full five seconds passed, Dosio's smile disappeared.

"Wait, really?" Dosio's shoulders drooped.

"Hey." Splin glared at him. "I'm dead serious. In fact, I'd be dead right now if he hadn't saved my skin before."

Dosio stood silently with a blank face as Splin's glare remained cold as ice. Sharq watched their stand-off from the sidelines with a peculiar look on his face and slowly shuffled towards his acquaintance.

"Soo…" Sharq smiled hopefully.

Dosio frowned at him, only to sigh in defeat moments later. "Okay, we're really doing this."

"Yeah, you JUST said that like a few minutes ago!" Sharq's lips curled into a pout. "Judd and Splin have just told you I'm trustable. You have double the proof now!"

"I do, don't I?" Dosio shut his eyes and rubbed underneath their bottom lids. "Okay, fine. Right now, officially, I'm going with you."

"Hooray!" Sharq hopped up into the air and hovered above the roof with an ecstatic expression.

The two other Inklings stared at the Inkling flying saucer floating above the roof. Splin's arm vibrated slightly as the Tele-Toolbox snored and rattled in its slumber.

"Follow up question," Dosio pointed upwards, "Does he do that often?"

"Eh." Splin shrugged and waved at the others. "Well, have fun doing… Whatever."

"Wait." Sharq dropped from the air and landed on the roof with a thud. "You aren't coming with us?"

"For what?" Splin asked as he crouched and lifted the trapdoor.

Sharq grinned and spun with a flair. "We're going to save Inkopolis!"

Splin yawned. "From what?"

"A flood of jellyfish!" Sharq announced as he thrusted his hands up into the air.

Splin smirked. "Really? Huh."

"We could use all the help we could get." Sharq beamed as he offered his hand to his brother.

"Hah!" Splin smiled back and descended down the stairs. "Screw that."

"...Wait, huh?" Sharq's hand fell and dangled above the ground weakly. "B-But-"

"Sharq, I trust you." Splin's smile faded. "But I think I'd like a full day off from our crazy life."

Sharq blinked back at him. "Oh. Um… Okay."

"...But maybe I'll tag along for the next adventure." A small smile returned to Splin as he reached down and pulled the headphones up and onto his ears. "Good luck." He turned to the side and nodded at Dosio as well.

"Wait!" Sharq protested.

Splin stopped and glanced to the side. "What is it? Ooh, might wanna make it quick, Tele's waking up again."

Sure enough, the toolbox Splin carried began to gnaw slowly on his arm. Splin simply continued to stare at Sharq curiously.

"You don't know where Lalai is?" Sharq asked with a frown.

"Why not ask her sister?" Splin arched an eyebrow.

Sharq's eyes lit up. "Her sister?"

"Y'know, she runs Oahu." Splin spoke up.

"...Pela's Lalai's sister?" Sharq blinked in confusion.

A tinge of annoyance struck Splin's face as he threw his arms up into the air. "I forgot to tell you."

"Maybe if we'd hang out more with our friends I'd know," Sharq hummed matter-of-factly.

"Maybe if we'd been given more opportunities to do so I would have," Splin stated back.

Both of the brothers stared at one another then eventually turned their attentions skyward. Although personally, I don't understand why they're pinning this on me. I blame the education system.

Dosio scrunched his face and glanced upwards. "...There a bird or something up there?"

"Alrighty!" Sharq grinned. "Well, thanks! See ya later Splin!"

"Uh…" Dosio waved once as Splin stared back at the two with what Dosio could only gauge as mixed amusement and irritation. "Nice meeting you."

Splin waved back at the two and ducked into the house. The trap-door creaked as Splin shut it closed behind him, leaving the other two the company of themselves and the summer day.

"...That was your brother." Dosio bit his lip at the sound of his own voice. "Uh, sorry, I meant to say THAT was your brother?"

"Yeah." Sharq smiled back.

"Should we tell him the city's flooded or something?" Dosio frowned.

Sharq pursed his lips and glanced skywards. "I think he's already got enough things to worry about."

"Hmm." Dosio leaned in and examined Sharq's face. "He looks like you."

"Really?" Sharq planted his hands on his hips.

Dosio sighed and shook his head. "I mean, just less… Weird."

"You just haven't gotten to know him yet." Sharq waved him off. "We're both pretty weird."

"Yeah, well," Dosio nodded back, "I've noticed."

Sharq shook his head and switched into his squid form close beside Dosio. "Follow me!"

"Great," Dosio remarked dryly as he shrunk down into a squid.

The two pointed skywards and began to vibrate in place. Inside of the house, Splin sat underneath the hole in the ceiling and gazed upwards. Like a pair of rockets, Sharq and Dosio launched into the air, turning into tiny specks in the sky as Splin watched them leap away with a blast of ink.

"You sure you don't wanna go?"

Splin glanced down at Ann-Gel as she sat cross-legged by his side. She gazed up out of the hole in the roof and watched the dots in the distance eventually vanish into the clouds and rested her hands underneath her head as they disappeared.

"Well…" Splin hummed as he folded his arms. "I could have… But I don't really feel like it."

"I know, but it's just-" Ann-Gel bit her lip and hummed.

"It'll be fine. Sharq's got this," Splin spoke up and smiled, "Have faith in him."

Ann-Gel stared up at him with bewildered eyes. "...Who the heck are you?"

Splin simply smiled again. "I must be tired."

Suddenly, he laughed, much to Ann-Gel's surprise. The laugh was brief and Splin yawned almost immediately afterwards.

"Mm," Splin sighed and placed his hands on his temples. "Yep. I think I should take a nap."

"Really?" Ann-Gel mused, tapping her lips. "It's only…"

She turned and glanced up at the dresser at the back of the house. Atop the dresser, the alarm clock stood and watched them. Ann-Gel shot a dirty look at the alarm clock, which suddenly blared and flashed the time with an annoying beep.

"Noon." Ann-Gel peered back up at Splin.

She blinked at the air. Ann-Gel heard a content grunt and wood creaking behind her suddenly. Behind her, she noticed Splin as he relaxed on top of his bedsheets and sighed again.

Ann-Gel turned towards the kitchen and began to hop. "This day is getting weird."

* * *

AN: I could probably extend this arc for longer, but I already have Chi's arc, Xarius', Phish's, and… Well, everyone else's stories on the hold. I haven't even gotten to Aussie's personal story yet. Oh well.

Thanks TAWOGfan2000 for reviewing. Honestly, when you say it like that it's a little weird, but I suppose it was obvious.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you.


	79. Jinxed Jelly Jamboree (MigVac 4)

**The Brothers and the Others**

 **Jinxed Jelly Jamboree**

Willie wished he had called in sick today. Traffic was one thing, as driving to work was hardly a problem. Mostly because he lacked an actual car. Foot traffic, on the other hand, was rough.

"We've got an order! It's a tall one!"

Carrying Zip through hordes of excited jellyfish was difficult, incredibly tedious, and… Well, slow, but still worth it. As he reflected on it, Willie rubbed his cheek and sighed dreamily. Zip had a way of showing her gratitude.

"Definitely worth it," He thought to himself.

Unfortunately, explaining why they were late was a chore. Pela was hardly in a mood to tolerate excuses.

"We've got another one."

The first hours were uneventful and tranquil for lack of a better word. Inklings came and went at their leisure same as always. It was only during the late morning that it seemed that the orders had started to pile up. Willie sighed as he glanced to his side. A trash can filled with balls of crumpled paper laid nearby, completely filled.

"We've got another one! And another one!"

He leaned on the middle countertop of the kitchen with his elbow and bit his lip. Maybe he could convince Pela that he had a spontaneous case of food poisoning had arisen and could leave early.

"We've got another- Hey, Willie! You listening?"

He could even say that Zip had caught it. Somehow. Although, Pela might blame it on PDA. He was unsure whether or not to risk that.

"We have… A lot! There's a flood of 'em!"

"Willie!"

Willie shook his head and grumbled. Pela was difficult, to say the least. He waved her off and continued to brainstorm as he leaned on the countertop. However, before he could try to think up a good excuse, his brain's thought process was rudely impeded by a crash.

Willie clutched his ears and yelled, "Ow!"

His eyes spun about in his head as his ears rang. As he reeled from the noise, Willie noticed a blurry white toque, a bright tint of cyan and a smirk. His head felt as if the cyan was burning his brain as he looked at it. Willie reached up to his face, removed his Retro Specs and rubbed the glasses irritably.

Dazed, he shouted, "Pela! How the shell am I going to..." Willie paused and rubbed his head, "How am I going to cook if you keep doing that!"

Willie placed his glasses back upon his face. As his vision cleared, Willie's first glimpse was of a chef as she innocently stood beside the opposite side of the counter. Atop the counter, a frying pan laid face-down nearby with a few scratches on the alloy material. Pela examined a small metal spoon in her right hand and rubbed the pan's smooth surface almost reassuringly.

After a few seconds, she finally glanced up at Willie and smirked at him. "Not planning on daydreaming anymore, huh?"

Willie's expression soured. "That's a sea devil's smile."

"Mm," Pela hummed, "You made a good point. Maybe I should have you two wear earplugs."

Willie rubbed his head and grumbled, "You mean 'have me wear earplugs'."

"Maybe if you actually worked, you wouldn't need them," replied Pela with a shrug, "Actually… No, you need to hear me."

Willie scowled and turned away. "Worst part of the job."

He shut his hands over his ears once more as Pela bashed the small, black gong over his head. Willie rubbed his ears with an annoyed whimper as Pela glared at him threateningly. She rubbed the spoon up and down across the pan dangerously.

As Willie stood indignantly but silent across from her, a satisfied grin spread across Pela's face. "We'll talk about that later. Right now, we have tons of customers and they're annoying as all shell."

Willie reluctantly agreed with a sigh, "Right."

She smirked back at him and pushed the frying pan onto the counter and to the side. Hands on her hips, Pela gazed at Willie who could only stare back at her incredulously.

"What was that?" he chirped in bewilderment.

"What happened to that chipper attitude?" Pela wondered aloud as she twirled one of her tentacles with a finger, "Those customers aren't going to mind."

Willie's shoulders hung as he sighed, "It's been a long day. Sorry. Also, it might have to do with the temporary hearing loss!"

"Yeah, I agree, these six hours have been going on forever," Pela replied and rolled her eyes, "C'mon. We're all tired, Willie."

Willie turned away towards the kitchen door. "I know, I know! It's just…"

"We're ALL tired," Pela repeated and nudged her head to the door.

The both of them glanced out through the glass porthole within the kitchen door. Outside of the kitchen, the tables were barely visible. As a matter of fact, everything past the counter was practically submerged. Jellyfish clogged the walkways and filled several tables. The front door of the restaurant was wedged open with two lines of jellyfish filing in and out like a long conveyor belt.

Willie and Pela glanced to the right of the counter. To the right of the door, Zip stood behind the cash register with her nose buried deep in a notebook and scribbled in it extraordinarily quickly as a jellyfish stood in front of the counter. The jellyfish's right tentacle stretched and jabbed at lightning speeds.

"Oh, my Cod," Willie muttered, It's-"

"It's ordering." Pela scowled at the jellyfish.

Willie eyes narrowed. "This can't be good"

Pela pressed her finger to her mouth and shushed him. Willie's shoulders hung as he and Pela continued to stare outside of the window. Across from the counter, the jellyfish's tentacle retracted back to its side and hung plainly. As the jellyfish waited patiently at the counter, Zip nodded slowly and made her way over towards the door.

"Here comes the bride," Pela remarked grimly.

She and Willie stepped away from the door, the latter with an uneasy frown. As they backed away, the door immediately swung open and in stepped Zip.

She smiled as she inquired, "Hey hon."

"...Hi?" Willie greeted her and waved back.

Her eyelids drooped and her posture deflated as she walked over and pushed her notes into Willie's arms. "Customer two-thousand and eighty-five's. Wants extra everything."

"Two-thousand and what?" Willie asked.

Before he could press further, Zip began to spin. Willie gawked at her as she turned and swerved about the tile floor like it was a ballroom. As she made her way through the kitchen, both of the onlookers watched in silence. Eventually, one of her own yellow tentacles drooped low and in front of her feet right in front of her path.

Quickly, Willie jumped in front of Zip and extended her arms to catch Zip as she tripped and fell. "Whoa!"

Zip swooned and rested her head back on Willie's chest. "Wake me up… When my lunch break's over."

"Zip?" Willie muttered and shook her back and forth, "Zip!"

Pela shook her head and rested her hand on Willie's shoulder. "Let her rest. She's had enough for one day."

Willie stared down at Zip as she rested in his arms. As if nothing had happened, her eyes were gently closed and her body rested peacefully with both of her hands draped over her chest. Her uniform, on the other hand, was ragged and ruffled.

"Drama queen," Pela sighed and dusted off the uniform.

"Did I oversell it?" Zip cocked one eye open with a sheepish smirk.

Pela scowled and shook her head. "Just go enjoy your break."

Zip gave a polite wave and stood up with a small, tired smile. She stumbled out of Pela's grip and waltzed over to a stainless counter with a ditzy grace. Zip reached down below the counter and dug around for a few seconds then paused, her smile still glued to her face. She pulled out a brown sack from underneath, laid it out on the counter and promptly buried her face into the surface of the bag. As a result, her tentacles flopped over onto the clean surface of the counter as she landed fell face-first. As she watched, Pela shook her head disdainfully.

"You're cleaning the counter and scrubbing those potatoes after you're done!" Pela instructed shrilly.

Zip waved back with her face still buried in the potato sack. "Mm-hmm."

"Hmm-hmm-hmm," Pela grunted mockingly back at her and turned to Willie, "Well, Prince Charming, looks like it's just you and me."

Willie stared at the floor and lightly kicked. "Man…"

"Listen to me," Pela demanded as she suddenly gripped his cheeks and pulled him close to her face.

"Ow," Willie murmured.

Pela's glare hardened. "We work now, complain later. This is still a business. We will serve those jellyfish out there even if it kills me."

Willie blinked. "You mean if it 'krills' you."

Pela's chef hat seemed to rise, as did her tentacles. She pinched his cheeks tightly.

"Mmph!" Willie complained and reached up to his face, "Hey!"

"I know what I said!" Pela growled and narrowed her eyes with her hands still glued to his face, "And it doesn't matter! This is the biggest lunch rush we've ever had here. Heck, if we pull this off, I'll even give you a day off."

Willie frowned. "Well…"

"Also I can fire you," Pela stated and glanced away, "Probably should've lead with that."

"Alright, alright!" Willie exclaimed, "I'll cook for the jellyfish!"

Pela gawked at him, when all of a sudden, she smirked again. "You sure?"

Willie nodded firmly. "Yes."

"Are you sure?" Pela asked, crossing her arms.

"Yes!" Willie cried out, "Fine, let's serve those jellyfish!"

"That's the spirit!" Pela grinned and marched towards the door.

The poor door was practically bashed in as Willie and Pela kicked it. They stood outnumbered two to a few thousand. Despite the odds, the chefs grinned and turned their attention to the crowd of jellyfish, several of which had begun to stare. A few seconds passed as the employees continued to pose in the doorway.

"...Wait, shouldn't we serve the order we just got first?" Willie inquired.

Pela bit her lip. "Oh, right. What'd it order?"

Willie frowned and stared down at the notebook. "Let's see…"

Willie's eyes nearly popped out of his glasses. Pela cocked an eyebrow and glanced over his shoulder and examined the notepad curiously.

"Better get started!" Pela announced.

* * *

-ONE EXPERTLY CRAFTED COOKING SCENE LATER-

* * *

"Man, that wasn't so tough," Willie remarked giddily, "It only took us, what, five seconds?"

Within the kitchen, several ingredient scraps consisting of vegetables, fruits, and seafood coated the once pristine counters and floors. A fire had taken it upon itself to burn uninterrupted atop a stove. Amidst the chaos, Willie stood proudly with a bright smile on his face as Zip snoozed nearby face-down in potatoes. Regardless of the appearance of the kitchen, Willie's smile was wide and undeterred. Then the spoon attacked.

Willie rubbed his sore crown and glared at the wooden spoon as it landed by his shoes. "Can you stop doing that?"

"What am I paying you for? Help me with this!" Pela screamed and pointed towards the inferno.

Willie's smile disappeared. "Whoa! Turn off the flame!"

"I already did! It's just like this!" Pela shouted back.

"Why is it like this?!" Willie asked frantically.

"This is what happens when we cut corners, Willie!" she shouted as she searched around the kitchen, "You can't expect a masterpiece in five seconds, y'know!"

Pela switched into a squid and dived through the chaotic mess. Scraps of food and various dining utensils sprung up into the air as she dug through the kitchen. Finally, Pela popped back up out from the mess in Inkling form with a ginormous pot. She trudged back through the tiny path she made back towards the stove, cocked one eye at the flame, then suddenly slammed the pot upside-down on top of the fire. The fire billowed inside of the pot fiercely but futilely. Pela wiped the sweat off of her forehead.

Pela patted the pot lightly. "Phew. We'll check back on that later."

"This is crazy! What'd we even make out of this again?" Willie wondered aloud.

Pela pursed her lips and retrieved the notepad. "According to Zip's scribbles-"

"Was in a hurry," Zip mumbled from the potato sack.

"Clam it Sleeping Beauty," Pela barked and stared back at the notes, "Okay, so according to this list, that jellyfish ordered…"

Pela's eyes narrowed down at the list. Her expression darkened as she scanned through. She flipped the page over.

Pela looked straight towards Willie. "Everything on the menu."

Willie simply stared back and brushed off his white apron. Aside from the roar of the flames and the sound of marching from outside of the kitchen, it was nearly dead silent.

She glanced down at the list again. "Twice."

"How can they even eat that…?" Willie muttered and shook his head, "Nevermind that, what did we make so far?"

Pela glanced around the kitchen. "Hmm, from the looks of it, I'd say that- I don't flipping know, you look!"

Willie took another glance at the mayhem. "So… Nothing?"

Pela pursed her lips and picked up a container filled with small green plants. "No, not really. We managed this in five seconds."

"Alright, well, let's find the tomatoes and get some bread then!" Willie smiled and quickly peered at the giant pot, "Hopefully ones not on the floor or on fire."

"I'm not one to skimp out on this food, but..." Pela trailed off, squished something beneath her Blue Moto Boots, and glanced down, "Find some sea-horseradish sauce."

Willie nodded and changed into an orange squid and dove into the floor's clutter. Not long after he had dived in, there was a rapping noise coming from across the kitchen. Pela gawked at the kitchen door and Willie poked his head out from the scraps.

"Ship," Pela cursed, "We might not have enough time. Hand me a frying pan."

"Huh?" Willie wondered aloud with a scowl as he stepped out of the pile.

Pela glared back at him. "I've dealt with unsatisfied customers plenty during my career. Just trust me, I know what I'm doing."

Willie bit his lip and reluctantly glanced at the countertop. Both Zip and a frying pan laid face-down on top of the counter across from him. He shot a look at Pela, who simply nodded and outstretched her arm.

Willie reached up to his head and brushed down his tentacles. "This ain't going to end well."

He leaned on the counter and reached across. Quickly, Willie picked up the skillet, turned to Pela, then reluctantly offered her the frying pan. Pela glanced down at the frying pan then gave Willie a soft smile.

"Thanks," she said as she picked it up and began to wave it about as if it were a sword.

Her weapon now in hand, Pela's eyes narrowed. Willie watched silently as he shuffled quietly towards the kitchen door, frying pan at the ready. The sound of knocking continued to reverberate through the room as she inched (centimeter-ed for other countries) closer and closer to the door. Pela reached for the doorknob, closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and pulled the door open in one swift jerk.

"Wah!"

Someone fell through the doorframe and landed on the kitchen floor in front of Pela, who certainly did not hesitate to strike.

Pela raised the frying pan over her head. "This'll teach you to order-"

Before she could strike, Willie leaped in front of her and raised his hands in front of his face. "Whoa, wait!"

"...Oh!" Pela murmured and swiftly stowed the skillet behind her back with a grin. "Thank goodness. Regular customers!"

Willie shot an incredulous look up at her. "Pela!"

"What? I didn't hit them," Pela explained with a shrug.

Willie sighed, shook his head, and stared at the people sprawled out upon the floor. To the left, Dosio was completely frozen in place with bug-eyes like a deer caught in the headlights. Laid out on his chest, Sharq was stuck underneath him, yet waved enthusiastically at the restaurant's employees.

Sharq beamed. "Hey, Willie."

"Shady!" Willie greeted with a smile, then peered towards Dosio, "And… Goggle guy."

"Hi," Dosio grunted.

Dosio pushed himself up off of Sharq, dusted himself off, and turned around out towards the rest of the restaurant. Willie bent down, took Sharq's hand and pulled him up.

"So," Willie coaxed, "Didya get the munchies again?"

Sharq nodded at him and answered, "We were actually hoping you'd be able to help us."

All of a sudden, a cyan squid jumped in between the two other Inklings. They gasped in surprise as Pela reformed into an Inkling in the middle.

Pela readjusted her toque and smiled at Sharq, "Help you dine?"

Sharq grinned back at her. "Nope! We-"

"Oh," Pela remarked plainly and walked away.

"Wait!" Sharq piped up and reached out for her.

Pela simply huffed and walked back towards the stove. Immediately as she approached the stove, she edged away from the ginormous pot and continued on towards the back of the kitchen.

"Can't seem to get one normal customer today," she complained.

Willie sighed and turned to Sharq. "Sorry. Honestly, we're a little strained today."

Dosio poked his head out the door frame and examined the crowds. "How far do these things go?"

Sharq peered at the door frame. "They're really filling it up out there."

"Not much courtesy to their hosts either," Zip announced from the back of the kitchen.

"Zip," Sharq greeted with another wave.

Zip lifted her face from the potato sack and waved back. "Hi. I swear if these blobs don't start paying for food, I-"

Sweat collected underneath Willie's forehead as the kitchen began to feel unnaturally warm. A sound similar to a boiling kettle filled the otherwise silent room.

Sharq took off his cap and began to fan himself with it. "Whew! Uh, is it always this hot in here or is it just me?"

Dosio gave Sharq a cursory glance and rolled his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself."

"No, no, it's really like… Hot in here." Sharq admitted.

Zip suddenly perked up. "Oh, my."

She and Willie slowly turned their heads towards the back of the kitchen. Pela stood and literally steamed, plumes of smoke blasted out of her ears as she stood. The pot had been removed from the stove and the fire was nowhere to be seen. The pot had also been haphazardly left on the floor with a small dent on the bottom.

After what felt like an eternity, Pela spoke up, "Zip, hon, excuse me?"

"Yeeeeesss?" Zip crooned uncertainly.

"This entire day we haven't made a single G? Is that what you're telling me?" Pela inquired.

Zip bit her lip, then sighed, "Not… Really."

"This entire day, at least six hours, and nothing? Not a coin? Not even a passing glance?" Pela quizzed while she faced the back wall.

"No, no, and…" Zip bobbed her head back and forth, "Well, the jellyfish can certainly stare."

There was a loud thud. Everyone in the kitchen turned to the back and saw Pela as she gazed back with a menacing scowl.

Her eyebrow twitched. "Wait here."

Pela stormed through the kitchen and picked up her frying pan as she moved towards the door. She kicked scraps of food out of her way, some of which seemed to sizzle after being kicked. Without hesitation, Sharq, Dosio, and Willie scurried out of her way as she marched onwards.

"Pelaaaa?" Willie called nervously, "Don't do anything nuts."

Pela paused at the door, turned around, and flashed a smile towards the others. "I would if we had any in stock."

They simply stared in silence. The silence apparently seemed to only irritate Pela more. With a huff, she reached for the door's handle, yanked the door open, and left the kitchen. She slammed the door shut behind her with her free hand as she wielded the frying pan fiercely with her right. All was quiet once again.

Sharq turned to Willie with a frown. "Maybe I should ask her later."

"Ask her what?" Willie questioned.

Sharq twiddled his fingers. "Well, it's about her sister-"

The sound of plates shattering boomed throughout the restaurant. Tables could be heard being toppled as well as the frantic clicking of cameras. Each and every time something—or someone—was shattered, the Inklings inside the kitchen flinched and cowered as if they were standing right in front of the massacre.

Out of the chaos, all that could be discernible from the racket was, "Don't order it if you can't-"

The racuous noise continued for quite some time. The Inklings in the kitchen listened intently and patiently until all of a sudden, the noise stopped. There was nothing.

After a short while, a voice trilled out, "Alright, I took care of it!"

All four of the Inklings turned to one another, each one with a face that spelled out "hesitation".

"Can't be worse than what you did," Dosio suggested as he turned to Sharq with a shrug.

Sharq simply smiled sheepishly. "Yeah…"

Willie pursed his lips, then lowered his head. "It's Pela. What's she going to do?"

Zip glowered grimly at the door. "Mm. What is Pela going to…"

They slowly turned to one another. Without another word, the both of them bolted for the door. As they reached the door, Willie and Zip shared another short look at each other, nodded once, and swung the door open. A few seconds passed until finally, the two sighed in relief.

"Freeloaders!" Pela screamed as she bashed her frying pan into the front doors, "Loiterers! Buy something or get out!"

A set of blue tentacles attempted to re-enter the restaurant and wriggled as they tried to squeeze past the vertical space between the doors. Their attempts were met with cold alloy as Pela hammered the tentacles back out into the outside. Each swing she made reverberated throughout the restaurant, as did her frustrated shouts and cusses.

A full minute passed by before the tendrils finally retreated. Cyan sweat dripped down her forehead as the back of Pela's head hit the door and she slid down to the floor. With one final scream of frustration, she let the pan hit the floor by her side.

"Pela?" Zip interjected, "Are you okay?"

Pela answered back, "Groughhaaaaa."

Her employees quickly ran past the overturned tables and fallen silverware over to her. Out from the kitchen, Sharq and Dosio poked their heads out and stared out at all of the destruction. Several postcards and discarded napkins littered the floor. Anything past the service counter not attached to the ground was either upside-down, on its side, or somewhere in between. A few cell phones laid about with their camera apps reflecting the ceiling or the floor.

However, despite all the lost possessions, not a single crumb of food laid outside the kitchen.

"You alright?" Willie inquired.

Pela reached up and removed her toque. "I'm great, Willie."

"I'm sorry," Zip insisted, "I let it get to my head."

"No, Zip, Willie, it's fine," Pela lamented, "It's… You did fine."

Immediately, Willie and Zip began to reassure her, babbling excuses and promises. Pela heaved out a sigh and rested her chin on top of her toque. Standing across from them, Sharq and Dosio watched awkwardly.

"Psst," Dosio whispered and pulled his Splash Goggles over his head, "Sharq, we should leave."

Sharq jolted upwards and murmured, "What?"

Dosio rubbed the back of his neck. "They're… Having one of those moments, you know? We should just go find her sister ourselves."

"How?" Sharq frowned.

"It's just awkward. Listen, Sharq, I came along so that I could actually go to Turf Wars again, not interrupt other people's drama or anything. Can't we just… Go?" Dosio asked.

Sharq narrowed his eyes. "Dosio."

Dosio shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just saying, we might be able to find her now if we get going."

"Dosio."

Dosio sighed, "I just really, really don't want to-"

"Dosio!"

"What?!" he shouted, much to the surprise of the three others sitting by the door.

Sharq glared at him. "I don't care."

Dosio scowled. "...Huh? What do you mean you don't-"

"We are not going to find Lalai on our own," Sharq stated with certainty, "Suck it up, you're stuck with me and I know that we will never find Lalai without even a hint."

Dosio rolled his eyes. "Okay, calm down, I was just-"

"Ah!" Sharq shushed him.

"I'm just-"

"Shh!'

"But-"

Sharq shouted, "Would you clam up?! This is final: we're asking Pela where Lalai is, we're finding Lalai, and we're going to solve this migration problem! But so far, all you've been doing was doubting me! So shut up, calm down, and please just TRUST ME."

Dosio stood frozen with his mouth wide open. Sharq stood with his arms firmly planted on his sides. Willie, Zip, and Pela gawked at him from the floor. Regardless of the reaction, the lot of them were silent.

Sharq blinked, then rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah… Anyways, sorry, but I-"

"Octo Valley," Pela admitted.

Sharq tilted his head. "Hmm?"

Pela's eyes remained firmly fixated on her toque stood up and dusted it off. "Lalai said she had to prepare for an expedition. Said it was important. Nothing else."

She glanced up from her toque and stared at the others. They were all quietly gazing back at her.

Pela continued, "She was packing up at her place one night for a trip. I thought this whole agent stuff was insane and that the whole 'Great Turf War' thing was over at least a hundred years ago or something…"

Pela paused, looked around the restaurant and chuckled lightly. Willie and Zip backed away slightly and stood together to her side.

"I wanted us to work on this together," Pela sighed and shook her head, "I guess she never felt like the waitress type. She never looked right at a receptionist's desk either."

Sharq folded his arms. "I see…"

Pela's blue eyes seemed to flash. "I'm boring you, aren't I? Sorry, just a crazy older sister fawning over her sibling here."

"No, I think it's sweet!" Sharq argued and smiled, "You're looking out for her, even if she wants to do her own thing, it's… Right. Right?"

Pela sighed and placed her toque back on her head. "Sure, right."

Sharq beamed. "If anything, she must still think highly of you!"

"...Mm-hm," Pela sighed.

"...Oh! But, um, thanks for the tip!" Sharq spoke up as he stared out towards the glass pane windows, "Ooh. That's a lot of them."

Willie stepped forward. "You need some help?"

Sharq perked up and turned towards him. "Sure!"

"Zip?" Willie spun around towards her.

Zip nodded and walked towards the door. "Pela?"

"Alright," Pela muttered and shook her head as she brandished her frying pan, "No food sold, little to no cooking, hardly a fresh new G to my name, and I practically preached my life story…"

Zip gave her a hopeful smile. "I thought it was nice."

Pela examined her smile. "...Mm. Maybe a raise is due."

"Heartfelt," Willie added hopefully.

"We'll discuss this later," Pela muttered and eyed the doors, "You all ready?"

The Inklings stared out the clear windows and doors at the hordes of jellyfish. The blue blobs peered inside at the restaurant hungrily, cell phone cameras at the ready and tentacles waving erratically. Armed with her frying pan, Pela took on a batter's stance with the rest of the Inklings forming up behind her. Cautiously, Pela stepped forward, reached for the doors, and gripped both of their handles simultaneously.

Pela cleared her throat. "On the count of three. One… Two..."

The floodgates slammed open.

* * *

AN: These chapters are getting more drawn out than I would have anticipated.

Thanks write n wrong for reviewing. Luckily, it seems that the jellyfish levels in Splatoon 2 aren't as crazy as forecasted, so Sharq may have some merit yet.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle.


	80. The spookiest of all: Chapter Delays!

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **THE BROTHERS**

 **STARRING IN:**

" **Hold on, okay, wait a minute. Why should I write a Squidoween chapter if I missed the Brothers' birthday? I mean, I already have the Chi 'redemption' arc on hold, and now I'm on hold on Sharq's personal adventure, but like I don't even consider the Halloween chapters a huge tradition. And I did make a big deal out of the brothers' birthday last year, so... Okay, so, look, I don't normally consider the Brothers to have aged much. I mean, when's the last time you saw a cartoon character age? And don't you say Rugrats. Or… Finn from Adventure Time… Wait, actually-**

 **Well, okay, the point is, some cartoon characters stay young practically forever. I mean, Spongebob kinda became a man after the first movie. You know, because he had that whole rite of passage thing with… Well, spoilers, but going up to the surface was pretty much like his rite of passage, right? Or is that just me overanalyzing the situation?**

 **The brothers don't really have that as much growth as compared to actual characters. Which is weird to think when Sharq is seventeen and Splin is sixteen at this point. So, I dunno, it's weird, and you can see the bind I'm in. Especially seeing as I've already wasted one of the most unique jokes here on a chapter title. Pretty weird, right? Well, I mean, Weird Al pretty much did this joke and cartoons like Chowder already used gratuitous fourth wall breaks to great effect, and at this point, the critics reading this would stone me for letting this joke go on for too long when in reality this is the most substance in this chapter."**

 **A.K.A. the Annually Obligated Halloween Chapter**

Splin and Sharq sat atop their beds. Around them, their house was cluttered with all sorts of flim-flam: video game cases were strewn around the household, a Krak-On Roller and an N-ZAP spilled blue ink on the kitchen countertop down to the floor, and their sheets were literally bedraggled.

Splin sighed once and laid back on the poorly folded sheets. "So… Read any good books recently?"

Sharq blinked and glanced at his brother. "Um, I think? Maybe."

"Alright," Splin muttered and collapsed on his bed, "Tell me about it later sometime."

"Okay!" Sharq beamed, "I think I gave it to Ann. But, um, I don't think you'd like it."

"Eh." Splin shrugged, "You never know."

For the rest of the day, they sat. Outside the house, the sun cruised across the sky, down past the horizon, and sunk away from view, taking the sunlight with it. A few hours passed and the moon rose sleepily into the sky.

Inside the house, the brothers continued to lie on their beds, being relatively obsolete in the grand scheme of existence. Oh, and Sharq was asleep.

"...Alright, I've had enough, you can stop with the act. What are you scheming?" Splin shouted to the ceiling.

"Huhazzat?" Sharq's head lurched from his pillow drowsily.

There was nothing but silence.

"Voice?" Splin inquired upwards.

Almost instantaneously, a crack of thunder clapped through the atmosphere and the lights to the house shut off The two Inklings yelped, switched into squids and instinctively dove under the covers. A few moments passed when they both jumped out of the sheets and dropped from their beds, only to slide underneath.

"Splin, what'd you do?" Sharq protested.

Splin slowly switched from a squid back into Inkling form and stared at his hands in amazement. All of a sudden, there came a persistent knocking at the door. All the while, the storm raged above them. Flashes of lightning joined the fray, periodically lighting the sky as the drums of the storm continued their chants.

Eventually, the door broke down, through ambiguously lazy writing means. Obscured by the storm, a short, pudgy figure walked in dripping wet. His boots squeaked lightly against the floor as he entered, the dark of night obscuring him in a vague silhouette.

Splin's breathing slowed. "It's… It's…"

Sharq chimed in, "It's…"

"It's a-me!" The figure announced gleefully.

A bolt of lightning flashed in a split-second to reveal none other than a short man in blue overalls. Drops of water dripped off his smiling face and proud brown mustache as he and his cap stared at the two.

The brothers just stared back at the figure for some time. The mustachioed man just blinked back. Moments passed, then the house lit back up and exposed the man in his drenched, vividly colored glory.

"...Is that it?" Splin inquired.

"Yep, that was it," The cap mumbled from the top of the small man's head.

The Inklings stared awkwardly at the odd gentleman. Suddenly, the man perked up, and reached into the back of his overalls. He retrieved a small video game case with himself on the cover, set it on the floor, then politely lifted his cap off and waved to the Inklings. Seemingly satisfied with his delivery, he promptly set out the door and out into the hills. As he left, so did the thunder and lightning that had boomed a few seconds ago.

"That was really underwhelming," Splin muttered, "All that build-up and nothing to show for it?"

Sharq slid from out underneath the bed, reformed back into an Inkling, and walked forward and snatched the case from the floor. "At least we got a new video game!"

The sound of a drumset rimshot reverberated through the house.

"Sure," Splin acknowledged with a shake of his head.

He crawled out from the safety of the sub-bed zone and walked up to Sharq. Sharq wiped the moisture off of the case with his hand and quickly wiped it on his t-shirt.

Splin sighed and reached for the case. "At least we have-"

"Clickety clack," the ever-beloved skeleton character prattled as it rose from the case.

"Ah!" Splin yelped and smacked the case to the floor.

Immediately, the case hit the deck and decapitated the skeleton. Several pieces of bones and cartilage disassembled on impact and slid across the floor. Splin and Sharq gazed on in horror at the mess of assorted spooky appendages now lying on their house floor.

The skeleton tried to frown, but now lacking a lower jaw, it simply chattered a tiny, "Clack."

The Inklings glanced at one another.

"Welp, see you in the morning, Sharq," Splin told his brother with a pat on his back.

* * *

AN: I don't even like Halloween that much. I just like April Fools because it gives me an excuse to write drivel like this.

Thanks write n wrong and R.C.D. for somehow still sticking with this story after twenty million eons. Seriously, I'm thankful, but at the same time somewhat concerned that people are still reading.

Since I still have people I need to write good stories for, um, thanks again.

write n wrong, there's nothing quite like a grilled jellyfish sandwich. I mean, aside from the thumbtack cheesesteak and the wasp stinger soufflé.

Also, R.C.D., flattery is appreciated, but at the same time, you gave me too much credit. After all, you did catch that typo I mistakenly typed.

Special thanks to my subscribers Anon 3 and Anon 2000 for buying the "Bring Back Tai" subscription bonus for one cent. Membership bonuses include playing Super Mario Odyssey with me, writing a story with me, and not bringing Tai back.

Basically, I ripped you guys off.

No one should ever give me money for doing something I wanna do.

You were played.

:)

...

So thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, selling out a pizza stand near you with contributions thanks to readers like you. Thank you.

…

So…

Yeah.

That's it.

You guys can leave now.

I'm just going to go… Try and run TF2 again.

Or I might even play Super Mario Odyssey.

If this chapter was an indication.

...

Seriously, go do something productive.

Go tell Ultrapyre things about his story.

Or go and check if Dread is still fuming over Splatoon drama, I dunno what you guys do.

...

Um...Odyssey's okay. I think I greatly prefer Galaxy and Sunshine though. Odyssey just feels too easy since, when you die, all you do is lose coins sorta like Dark Souls, but only up to ten coins.

So I guess you could say this is the Dark Souls of Mario games?

I'll be here all week.

...

... ...

... ... ...

Okay fine, you can get your Octoling you geese. You guys are silly geese, you know that?

* * *

In retrospect, maybe Tai should have stopped trusting Inklings. For one, she just realized that running was actually getting really tiring. Even worse than running was running in a dilapidated corridor filled with decrepit, dusty old Octoweapons scraps that littered the already fading fortress.

Trusting that Inkling also ended up getting her superior furious at her. And probably broke her sanity. Yeah, that was a setback. Even so, running from her was not exactly the worst thing to happen to her this week. Month? Year? Maybe. She had no idea how long she was trapped in this crumbling trash heap, but at least she was getting cardio.

Just then, a scream rang out behind her. "Taaaai sweetie? I found a nice, big metal stick to play with! Be a good girl and stand still for me?"

"Okay," Tai sighed, "Screw that."

"That's exactly what I'm going to do! Ahahahaha!" Aussie's voice echoed.

"C'mon, man, being uncomfortable is my thing," Tai muttered begrudgingly.

She sped farther down the corridor past several ruined electronic equipment. Wires threatened to trip her like black vines snagged on the floors.

"I bet Jerry and the others are sitting somewhere at the base, too, not doing anything. I was going to do that!"

Tai became increasingly annoyed. Each step she took just seemed to lead down the same, endless section of destroyed machinery. At this point, if she saw one more loose wire, broken alloy, or shredded tentacle, she was going to-

"Ooh la la," Tai remarked with a whistle, "Wait a second."

Tai skidded to a stop in the middle of the hall. Laid abandoned on the ground was a large, flat and shriveled tentacle. Despite its worn condition, it laid across the floor like a large, triangular tarp with few tears ripped in the fabric-like skin.

Tai grinned mischievously. "Perfect."

"Taaaaai?" Aussie chimed as she repeatedly smacked a metal pipe into the open palm of her left hand, "Don't be shy now, you wouldn't be so rude to your commanding officer, would you?"

There was nothing but a hollow, eerie silence. Then, there was a call.

"Yeah, I totally would, actually," Tai's voice called out.

"Eheh heh!" Aussie cackled, "Then let's play a game, shall we?"

"Like a video game?" Tai offered, "If we get out of here, I could smuggle a few more of those for you."

"...Wait, really?" Aussie blinked.

"Yeah, like some really hot adult games too, if you..." she could vaguely hear the sound of eyelashes fluttering, "Catch my cold."

A deranged smile crept back onto Aussie's face. "I actually think I like the game, 'beat you into the ground until you're mush' sounds better!"

Tai protested, "I don't though."

Without a second thought, Aussie sprinted down the hall with her newfound iron pipe lifted over her head. She gazed hungrily at each and everything she passed, ready to beat down whatever moved.

Then she saw the giant tentacle standing in the middle of the hall. Aussie hesitated and lowered her pipe and gazed at the strange tendril as it blocked the way.

The tentacle cleared its throat, "Ooga Booga!"

Aussie smile returned as she lifted her pipe. "Nice try!"

"Oh, ship," The tentacle cursed as it arched itself, "Tentacle slap!"

Before Aussie could react, the tentacle tackled her to the floor down the hall.

"Oof!" Aussie exclaimed as she was crushed by the gigantic tentacle.

As she stood where the tentacle once stood, Tai simply shrugged. "Wow, that was actually really easy. You're slipping, Auss."

Tai nudged the tentacle with her boot. The tentacle remained flat on the other Octoling's body. She kicked it again. Nothing.

"...Kay," Tai muttered.

With a hop, a skip, and a jump, Tai hopped, skipped and jumped over the broken tentacle. At least, she tried, until the metal pipe from before stabbed through the tentacle and up through the skin. Tai's eyes widened as she stood frozen in mid-skip and stared at the two glowing dots as they bored into her own soul.

"You're not getting out of this one, Miss Inaba," Aussie whispered.

* * *

AN 2: Will Tai be able to defeat the evil Aussie? Will she get back to Octo Valley in time to stop Winst and save Chi? Probably not, Chi's most likely dead by now and Winst is bathing in her dead fluids.

I'll see you next time on One Missed Call Z!

...And if you're still here, I'll see you next time on Shameless Promotion and the Delayed Stories! See you!


	81. Breachin' the Barrier (MigVac 5)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Breachin' the Barricades  
**

Dosio was pleasantly surprised. He had to admit, as he stared at the streets ahead, he could say without a doubt that Sharq's plan was working like a charm! He marveled at the fine black line of asphalt untouched by jellyfish that continued past rows of buildings. Surrounding the black path were two mobs of jellyfish standing on each sidewalk. While many jellies poked the asphalt road with their tentacles tentatively, none dared cross the street.

"Eat this!"

Alhough, Dosio doubted they would have gotten this far if it wasn't for Pela.

Speaking of which, Dosio ducked swiftly as a jellyfish soared overhead. He glanced back at it as it landed on top of a mountain of similarly knocked-out jellyfish behind him, gulped a nervous lump down his throat, and peered forward cautiously. Dosio turned around and gazed at the chef with awe in his eyes.

"What about you? You want a taste?" Pela screamed at the next jellyfish in front of her.

In response, it took a cell phone from behind and snapped a quick picture, its eyes shrinking in horror. Pela rose her frying pan, practically eclipsing the sun, and slammed it down onto the jellyfish's head, effectively crushing the jellyfish into the ground. As the group sped across the road, Dosio hopped over the blue pancake lying squished on the floor. He gave it a quick glance and continued forward.

As he did, the jellyfish let out a weak, "Blrrooo," and promptly deflated flat on the floor.

Never before had a pan been such a destructive force. Clangs sounded off with each bash, and as Pela's barrage continued, so did the increasing piles of jellyfish that flew up and behind her. In the mad chef's wake, several jellyfish fluttered down on the streets and sidewalks like deflated pancakes. Dosio then peered back left at Sharq who, by the looks of his smile, was either in Wonderland at the moment or ran out of cares to give.

Dosio veered to the side and nudged his shoulder. "Hey, Sharq."

Sharq glanced right and shouted, "Yeah?"

Dosio stared ahead. "Shouldn't we tell her to ease up or something?"

They peered forward, then instantly ducked under another jellyfish and bobbed back up as it flew overhead and crashed behind them. Pela was a cyan tornado who tore through the crowd with a cacophony of crashes and slams. Pela had a sadistic smile on her face as she opened up a path. Not a single jellyfish in front of her was spared the wrath of the pan. Behind her, Willie and Zip ran to keep up, the couple armed with spatulas and spoons.

Between ducking beneath the jellyfish and occasionally smacking the stragglers, the employees would turn back and grin at the other two as if to say, "We've got it all under control," while fending off the passive jellyfish.

Sharq answered Dosio while wearing another cheerful smile, "They should be fine! I mean, you shot one!"

"That was just ink though," Dosio stated and turned forward, pointing at the pan, "That's metal. These guys' brains should be-"

Dosio slowed to a walk, peered back over his shoulder for a split second and stared at the jellyfish, then turned back around.

He scowled and asked, "Do jellyfish have brains?"

"I dunno." Sharq answered plainly, "Besides, frying pans can't be worse than rifles, can they?" Sharq suggested with a shrug.

Dosio sighed and muttered, "You say that but…"

"Hmm?" Sharq wondered aloud as he cocked his head.

Dosio ducked as another jellyfish soared above, shaking his head. "Nevermind. For the record, I'm not gonna pay the medical bills."

Sharq gave him a reassuring smile. "It's fine, none of them are actually being hurt by this."

Dosio scowled and peered back at the jellyfish. He watched as several of the jellyfish began to clamber out of the piles and off the streets into the safety of their brethren's masses. Droves upon droves of blank eyes gazed at the Inklings warily as they passed by. Immediately, Sharq and Dosio shared a quick look, then apologetically waved back at the crowd.

"...At least none of them are dead?" Sharq stated with another, less-assured smile.

"Chew on…!" Pela started with her frying pan ready to strike, "Uh…"

The jellyfish cluttering the path turned to one another and back towards Pela with puzzled stares. She scowled, hopped up in the air, and brought the pan down on the crowd. Cracks began to split the road into fragments as a shockwave reveberated throughout the ground.

"Shut up! I'd like to see you try to make this up as you go!" Pela barked at the now squished bystanders.

They twitched their eyes back in response. Willie and Zip stepped around the flat, blue puddle of blinking eyes. Ahead of them, Pela screamed a hearty battle cry as she bashed jellyfish after jellyfish with no remorse.

Sharq nudged Dosio. "I'll go ahead."

Dosio gave a curt nod and slowed to a walking pace. Sharq, on the other hand, began to speed past the blue flapjacks and underneath all of the blue missiles being involuntarily hurled his way. He ducked, flipped, and dashed around the jellyfish until he found himself a few seconds away from the storm of carnage.

Running past a balistic jelly-missile, Sharq hurried towards the couple and asked, "How's it going?"

Zip and Willie snapped back around. As they did, a few jellyfish zipped by their heads.

"Swell for us, thank you for asking," Zip replied as she spun past another jelly.

"Pela's really going at it!" Willie declared as he ducked under the next poor soul who had been panned, "At this rate, we'll make it to the plaza in no time!"

"Forget the plaza, we could clear the city at this rate," Zip whistled while she eyed the jellyfish pitifully, "The poor things don't stand a chance."

"Great! Then the plan is working perfectly," Sharq mentioned, "All we have to do now is get into the manhole and we're set!"

The pity instantly vanished. "Perfect," Zip stated with a smile.

Dosio nearly stumbled over a collapsed blue tentacle. "Remind me, why a manhole?"

"Yeah, to get to Octo Valley," Sharq stated plainly.

Dosio gawked at Sharq quizzically. "Where?"

Sharq's smile faded. "Um… Octo Valley? The Octarians?"

Dosio shook his head and dodged another jelly. "...Yeah, no idea what you're talking about."

Sharq bit his lip. "Ohh... Shoot. Well, Octo Valley-"

"You two!"

"Whoa!" Dosio and Sharq flinched and turned ahead.

They gasped. Standing firmly ahead, Pela held her ground with all her might as a mighty wall of jellyfish stood in front of the group firmly. The jellyfish were relentless, both as a wall and as annoying tourists, snapping candid photos of the group while pushing against her Pela's frying pan. She gritted her teeth and shoved the jellyfish, only for the shambling and picture-taking mass of jellyfish to heave back against her. A few of the jellyfish on top of the mass fell off periodically, yet the wall stayed tall and strong despite Pela's pan.

"Sharq!" Pela managed to shout amidst pushing, "Listen up, 'cause I'm only saying this once. You and..."

"Dosio!" Dosio shouted back at her.

Pela gave a curt nod and pointed back. "Him."

Dosio's face curled up into a scowl.

"You'll go through and get into the plaza. Willie, Zip and I will keep the rest of them busy!"

"We will?" Her two employees inquired.

Pela shot them both a look and screamed, "You're getting paid overtime for this!"

Startled, the both of them nodded their heads quickly. "Yes, ma'am!"

Instantly, Pela glared back with gritted teeth at the other two. "You better find my sister, Sharq!"

Sharq nodded and fiercely saluted. "Yes, ma'am!"

"And that's another thing, I'm a cook, not a drill sear- Aw, whatever," Pela muttered to herself, "Whatever, whatever! Just get ready!"

All four of the other Inklings braced behind Pela as she cocked one eye at the wall of jellyfish. The sun was blotted out as the jellies began to creep in like a tidal wave over them, arching over and ready to flood the group.

Pela gritted her teeth and clenched her frying pan tightly. "On the count of three!"

"Okay!" Sharq exclaimed and pumped his fist.

As soon as his fist shot up into the air, Pela slammed her frying pan down into the nearest jellyfish as tremendously hard as she could. As it stood, stunned and immobile, she cocked one eye lined up at the jellyfish wall. With a swing befitting of a pro-baseball batter, she launched the jellyfish into the wall at a tremendous speed. It hit the center of the wall, and practically paralyzed the jellyfish on impact. One after another, they broke off from their formation and spilled to the ground like a blue fountain display. Eventually, the once great wall disassembled to nothing but a pile of dazed jellyfish with full phone data storages.

Sharq turned to Pela and shot her a curious look.

"I got impatient," Pela announced plainly with a shrug of her shoulders, "I wasn't gonna let them overwhelm us again."

Before Sharq could say a word, the jellyfish began to pick themselves up and converge into a mass once again. Pela glared at Sharq and pointed straight and firmly towards the plaza, to which Sharq nodded in affirmation.

"Let's go!" Sharq shouted to Dosio as he dashed through the disorientated jellies.

Sharq began to climb the mound of jellyfish at a breakneck pace. Just behind him, Dosio simply nodded, albeit reluctantly, and followed suit. Behind them, Pela watched them speed off past the jellies with a rigid frown. Willie took a quick swipe at a jellyfish with a spoon as he and Zip back up to their boss. The jellies that had been pushed around reassembled in a mob around them.

"It's up to them now," Pela remarked grimly.

Willie gulped, "I'm starting to think that Shady's a magnet for trouble."

"Pela, they're definitely royally peeved," Zip replied with a nudge, huddling between the two.

Pela arched an eyebrow. "Yeah? What tipped you off?"

Zip pointed at the crowd. As soon as she pointed, the mob of jellyfish simultaneously pulled out black, permanent markers. They opened the caps, hurled them away, and drew eyebrows over their eyes, quickly discarding their markers. The Inklings huddled into a close circle as a definitely angry mob of jellyfish began to close in on them, their tentacles wiggling menacingly.

"Oh, you resourceful little…" Pela growled, "You won't pay for food, but you will buy fifty gazillion markers?"

The jellyfish stopped closing in and just glared at her. They shared a quick look with one another, then shrugged furiously, though it was not apparent if that was just because of the new eyebrows.

"Fine," Pela pat her palm with her hand, "Don't wanna pay in Gs? Then I guess putting you all in the ground'll have to work. Come on!"

* * *

...And that marks the beginning of the first official Brothers and the Others commercial break!

The Brothers and the Others is made possible by your local Anon Train, Dumirin, and from readers like you. Thank you.

You're reading The Brothers and the Others! Back to the show.

* * *

If one tried to visit Inkopolis Plaza at the moment, not much would have changed. Inkopolis Tower continued to stand upright and sturdy, though the Great Zapfish was absent from his normal roost. Booyah Base was still Booyah Base, still decorated with posters advertising old fashion trends cluttering the glass windows. In fact, had it not been for the mass quantities of jellyfish, Inkopolis would have been practically unchanged.

Judd wore his same, tired face as he watched the plaza from atop his pillow. "Meow? (Ever notice things change purr-etty quickly around here?)"

"Eh?"

"(Just an observation,)" Judd announced, "(You must admit, it's a marvel seeing these kids grow up and change things around so fast.)"

"...Yup. Real astondin'."

Judd's tail lazily curled up. "(Soon we'll be old news. Weird to think of, isn't it, Spyke?)"

The sea urchin frowned. "Oy mate, could you focus more on the current predicament? We can philosophize when we ain't sinking."

The urchin swatted at a swarm of jellyfish underneath him. The mat Spyke normally lounged upon was being carried atop the sea of jellyfish, as well as several Super Sea Snails and shells. The snails healthy shivered as they were carried away by the current, while the empty shells simply bobbed back and forth above the jellyfish. Stretching forward from his pad, Spyke grasped for them carefully, his mat bobbing back and forth on the verge of capsizing. He grasped, once, twice, three times for a snail...

Only to catch a handful of air.

Frustrated, he slammed his fist on top of his mat. Underneath him, one of the jellyfish exclaimed in surprise. Spyke glared long and hard at the snails as they were swept away (squeaking in terror) from Spyke's grasp.

"Get back here wif those!" Spyke shouted and waved his fist at the jellyfish, "This is the second bloomin' time this has happened! I'm already losing business as it is, it doesn't help my usual stock's gettin'-"

Spyke paused and shut his mouth quickly. Judd cocked an eye at the urchin curiously, watching as Spyke retracted his fist from the air bitterly. He scowled, settled back on his mat solemnly, and began to tap on his mat with a slender finger.

Judd's tail curled up. "Rowl? (Losing business? I've been giving the kids snails. How are you losing-)"

Spyke rested his hand on the mat and turned to the side. "I'm not losing anything but customers."

"(There's definitely more to this than meets the eye,)" Judd purred and licked his paws, "(Just the other day I counted thirty-seven customers coming in and out of your alley, Spyke.)"

Spyke rolled his eye. "Thirty-six, that one was a pair... Oy, we've got bigger fish to fry, love. Like… What's that over there?"

Predictably, Judd turned towards the back of the plaza. Several jellyfish flew up into the air past the concrete barrier, each one noticeably flatter than the last. Much like plastic bags caught in a tornado, they spun away in the wind and up into the sky. Judd hummed a surprised tune as he turned back towards Spyke, then immediately froze.

Spyke gazed back at Judd with his head stuck just above the jellyfish. "...Whaddya know."

Spyke and his mat had already been submerged, with nothing but Spyke's spines and his carpet's sinking tassels stuck just above jellyfish level. Spyke was anyways, as he sorrowfully eyed his now sinking mat.

Judd sighed and asked, "(Come on, what have you been up to Spyke?)"

Reluctance inscribed on his face, Spyke sighed in defeat. "...Right, fine. Don't tell anyone," Spyke started, "But I've-"

"Let's goooo!"

"Oy's that?" Spyke chirped quickly as he turned towards the back of the plaza, away from Judd.

Judd narrowed his eyes suspiciously, turning with his glare firmly stuck on Spyke. "Meow! (We're discussing this later!)"

"Whatever you say, ref," Spyke muttered under his breath.

On the other side of the plaza, two Inklings flailed like fish out of water as they tried to get into the plaza. Sharq and Dosio were an awkward pair as they climbed. Their legs kicked and their hands scratched at the cement as they attempted to jump the wall, the flood of jellyfish close behind them. Clear from the large, hastily drawn eyebrows they wore on their brows, the jellyfish meant business.

Eventually, Sharq stopped for a moment, rested his free hand on his chin for a minute, and turned to Dosio. "Follow my lead."

Sharq immediately released his grip on the wall and landed back onto the mosh pit of jellyfish. Though he stared, shocked, Dosio took a deep breath and leaped with Sharq into the mob. Seconds later, two squids rocketed out from the crowd with jets of ink, scattering several jellyfish. They flew above the plaza and began to fall as they flew above the center.

"Meow! (Brace!)" Judd called out.

As he shouted, Sharq and Dosio planted face-first into the thick jellyfish-packed plaza. Spyke blinked lazily and turned to Judd with a blank face.

"(...I thought there'd be an explosion,)" Judd replied.

Spyke rolled his eye. Sharq's face rose up from the pile of jellyfish dizzily. Attached to his face, an equally dazed jellyfish stared at him. Sharq peeled the jellyfish off of him and dropped it in the pile below, giving it a few apologetic pats to the head.

"Judd!" Sharq exclaimed.

"Meow. (Hi,)" Judd greeted.

Sharq paused for a moment. "Uh, hi! How's it going?"

"Mew. (Fine, what's up with you?)"

"Oh, it's-"

"Sharq, your plan?" Dosio complained as he kicked a handful of jellies away from him.

"Oh, right! Judd!" Sharq pointed down towards the jellyfish.

"Mrow? (What is it?)" The cat purred.

"We need to get down there," Sharq stated.

The cat stared down long and hard at the jellyfish. He squinted down through the jellyfish while his tail wiggled calmly in the air.

"(There?)" Judd questioned.

"Yeah!" Sharq affirmed, "We need to get to Octo Valley!"

"Meow? (Why?)" Judd asked with a yawn.

Sharq folded his arms. "So we can find Lalai."

Judd narrowed his eyes. "(Isn't she the-)"

"For Cod's sake!" Dosio screamed, "Get on with it!"

Sharq pouted and turned to him. "I'm getting to it, I'm- Dosio!"

"What?" he shouted, "What now?"

"Um, well, don't freak out, but-" Sharq muttered.

Dosio peered at his feet immediately. He screamed again and frantically swatted at the jellyfishes' heads as his shoes began to sink through the gaps. Dosio attempted to struggle, shaking his legs back and forth, only to sink down through the jellies further.

"Ship!" Dosio cursed and strained to escape.

He grunted and tugged his legs. The jellies beneath him continued to shift around his feet, but Dosio's legs stayed firmly stuck in place like gooey cement. With a growl, Dosio switched into a squid and hopped above the jellyfish.

"Haha!" Dosio exclaimed as he dove back into the pit.

Gravity had other plans. Before he could land, he slipped through the pit of jellyfish and vanished beneath the surface near instantaneously. While he dove into the abyss, the jellyfish shifted back in place and blocked the hole he had sunk in. Judd and Sharq gawked at the jellies with wide-eyes while they continued to babble on to each other as if nothing had happened.

"Dosio! Oh, my Cod," Sharq stammered, "They- It just swallowed him up! He's gone!"

Judd frowned. "(Squid is a delicacy.)"

"Shoot, that explains the feelin' I'm getting."

Sharq and Judd glanced to the side. Alarmingly, Spyke's chin had been completely obscured by jellyfish. All that remained of him was a spiky head and one ominous green eye, which was already being covered.

As he sank further into the mass, Spyke shut his eye and muttered, "Ain't my preferred way of going out, but beggars can't be choosers."

Soon enough, the urchin also began to disappear beneath the jellies. Except instead of falling down smoothly and quickly, his spiky head poked and pierced several of jellyfish as he submerged. The jellyfish around him blurted out variations of presumed jellyfish curses and jiggled nervously as he vanished. Soon enough, they cluttered over the spot he once sat and settled over him uneasily.

Judd scowled and looked up from the jellyfish to Sharq. "Meeeew? (Are you sure about this?)"

Sharq sighed, only to give Judd a huge grin. "As ready as ever!"

Judd purred, "(Good for you, then. I was afraid you weren't aware you were sinking.)"

"Huh?" Sharq mumbled confusedly.

Before he could do anything, he plunged downwards. Sharq yelped as he dropped straight into the sea of jellyfish, like a rock sinking through the ocean. In a flash, he plummeted and smacked into the asphalt below. The impact echoed, jellyfish reverberated above him as the sound traveled.

Sharq groaned and lifted his face up from the pavement. "Oww…"

His eyes opened slowly and lit up exponentially. Sharq pushed himself off the asphalt and gazed around him. Jellyfish had arranged in a clustered, moving sturcture. Several small openings stretched like gates through the masses and opened and closed periodically. Every once in awhile, a few jellyfish would shift in place and expose bits and pieces of the submerged plaza.

Before he could take in all of the scenery, Sharq peered forward through one of the arches in front of him and raised his hands up to his mouth. "Dosio?"

There was little response. Sharq blinked and squinted his eyes. Although thin rays of sunlight managed to poke through the jellyfish, the majority of the plaza was still cloaked in a bluish shade or clouded by jellyfish. He strained through the crowd, but there was no sign of him.

Sharq bit his lip and promptly sat on the ground. "Hey," he asked as he turned to one of the jellyfish, "Have you seen an Inkling around here? Blue tentacles? Wears goggles on his face?"

The jellyfish reached back into the mob, pulled out a cell phone, and shut one eye. The camera flashed in Sharq's face, causing him to yelp and cover his face.

"Hey!" Sharq protested and rubbed his eyes, then glared straight at the jellyfish with a scowl.

"Sharq? Sharq!"

Sharq blinked the spots out of his eyes and turned to the side. He gasped as, through the swarm of jellies, a lone Inkling's face barely poked out of the masses, a tanner patch of skin than the rest. Disoriented and dazed, Dosio attempted to escape, albeit feebly. He tried to pull away from the jellies, scratching at them, but reamained stuck hopelessly in the lot of them.

Soon enough, Sharq and his eye's locked. "Hey! Get me out of here!" Dosio called out desperately.

"Oh no," Sharq muttered as he ran up and examined him, "Quick, switch into a squid!"

Dosio's face scrunched up, his fist clenched, and the tentacles on his head shivered. "I'm…trying!" He slammed his head back into the jellyfish. "I can't!"

"What do you mean?" Sharq inquired worriedly.

"I said I can't!" Dosio wriggled violently, "It's too tight in here!"

Dosio's limbs strained against the jellyfish. The tips of his shoes and his fingertips wriggled like small tentacles and his face shifted between his skin's light tone and his tentacles' deep blue. Biting his lip, Sharq reached forward with both of his hands, gripped his companion's face and began to pull.

"Ow, ow! Wait, stop stop stop," Dosio complained and whipped his head to the side.

Sharq grunted and backed up as he tugged on Dosio's head. "I can't get you out if you won't sit still!"

Just then, Sharq felt someone wrap their hands around his waist. He felt the stranger pull with him, heaving Sharq and Dosio back. Sharq gasped as Dosio's body began to slide out slowly from the jelly mass.

"Thanks!" Sharq piped up.

The two yanked back and forth, as did Dosio's head and neck. A sickly shade of blue crossed his face and neck as he was pulled. After a few seconds, they all heard a pop. In a flash, Sharq and the stranger landed back on their rears as Dosio launched out of the mob over and past their heads.

"I'm free!" Dosio called out as he sailed by.

Unfortunately for him, the speed of his departure caused him to smack into another jellyfish wall headfirst. He bobbed back and forth in the wall like an arrow striking a target, then laid still in shock, his face now firmly wedged in the opposite wall.

Shock quickly turned to anger as he tried to pull his head free. "Eh? Oh, no flipping way!" Dosio screamed as he flailed what parts of him were free wildly.

Dosio pushed on the jellyfish and switched into a squid. Luckily for him, this time his head managed to slip out of the wall and he landed on the asphalt. He morphed back into an Inkling with a disgruntled grimace as he stood and dusted himself off. His first reaction to being free was to punch the jellyfish.

The jellyfish instantly bounced his fist back and Dosio punched himself in the face.

"Agh!" Dosio roared as he pressed to his cheek using his right hand, "You-"

"Are you okay?" Sharq asked as he offered a hand down to him.

Dosio grumbled, rubbed his cheek, and took Sharq's hand, "Just…!" he sighed, "Peachy, Sharq. I'm just peachy."

Sharq frowned. "Are you sure?"

"I'll be better once we fix this mess," Dosio grumbled.

Sharq sighed and surveyed the small plaza. "Sorry. Well, at least we're in."

The two Inklings gazed up at the sky, or at least the small crack of sky they could make out. Even that small glimpse of the atmosphere was eventually blocked as another jellyfish wedged itself in the space.

"Yeah," Dosio breathed, "But how do we get out?"

Sharq frowned up at the jellyfish. From underneath, they were a writhing mass of blue tentacles wiggling back and forth. They clambered over one another as periodic camera flashes, like lightning, blinked in and out through their clouds.

"Well, first things first…" Sharq began, "Thanks."

Sharq turned around behind him, hand outstretched in a friendly gesture. His hand stopped short as a gleeful grin popped back up on his face.

"You're welcome, A," Lalai said with a smile.

"Lalai!" Sharq gasped in surprise.

There was a sigh. The three Inklings stared at the nearest wall.

"Oy, any chance you can spare a few tugs?" Spyke asked with his head and a lanky arm jutting out of the wall.

* * *

AN: It'll take five million eons to finish this, I can already tell. Then again, I might think of it like federal income taxes; maybe it'll be better for everyone if I do this in installments.

Thanks, R.C.D., Dumirin, and Guest for reviewing.

First of all, gee, thanks for making it all the way to chapter eighty R.C.D. It makes me happy that I've made something that someone else managed to enjoy for a solid eighty chapters. Thanks for the praise, man.

Looking back on it, Dumirin, I feel kinda bad that the Valentine's Day chapter was just a solid rant more than it was a short parent generation chapter. My bad, I'll try to keep my rants condensed next time.

You know what Guest, you're right. Maybe back then I wasn't too familiar with the timeframe in which the Great Turf War took place, so I sorta messed stuff up. I think I have a decent excuse for Phish, but as for Chi's parents… I think I need to fix that. Thanks!

Thanks for reading everybody! This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, hope I don't procrastinate too much!


	82. Migration Relocation 1 (MigVac 6)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Migration Relocation: The First Part**

Spyke's one eye narrowed into a sour glare. "Waste of one good rug if you ask me."

"We'll buy you a new one," Lalai affirmed soothingly as she stared skywards, "We just need to wait."

Spyke waved at the smoke irritably. The bonfire between the four burnt vividly, the tassels of the rug burnt and smoking up into the air. Above them, the jellyfish scuttled and shivered as they pushed each other as they fled from the smoke, causing the entire mass around the plaza to shift. Small holes opened up in the "ceiling" above as they scurried away from the smoke. They scattered to and fro, circling just around it, creating waves in their formation as they wiggled.

Spyke sat by, tapping the asphalt by the fire with two fingers in an irregular rhythm, glowering at his rug. Sharq and Dosio sat side by side and across from Lalai, who was fixing her tentacles. Her tentacles were draped gently upon her lap, each one noticeably dirty. Every now and again, a camera flash would envelop the campfire for a split-second, then revert back to a dimly lit asphalt pavement, much to the irritation of the group. In the darkness, Lalai looked like literal squid beacon. Her agent clothing shimmered even in the dimness, everything from her headset right down to her shoes lit her up like a firefly.

Dosio stared at the floor, rested his chin on his two hands and scowled. "So, about the Octarians..."

Lalai's agent gear flashed pink momentarily as she snapped to attention. "Hm?"

"...How long have they been living down there?" Dosio questioned, disturbance evident on his face, "In our sewer...uh...system."

Lalai smiled, stopped fixing her tentacles, then faced him and asked, "You really don't know?"

"No," Dosio shook his head sourly, "I hardly know what's happening now! I've been...I've been distracted."

Lalai winced. "I see."

Sharq gazed at each of the other Inklings and sighed, "Speaking of distracted... Level fifty? You must have been grinding at it for days!"

"If I missed out on this war underneath us," Dosio murmured with a shiver as he glanced around at the jellyfish, "I probably deserve this break."

Lalai frowned. "What do you mean?"

Dosio sighed and stared up at the sky. "Nothing. Sharq's right. I've been at it for too long, and that's gotten me almost nowhere."

Sharq blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh! Sorry, that's not what I-"

"It's not important anyway." Dosio shrugged, then suddenly turned back to Lalai. "How long has this war been going on?"

Lalai bit her lip, then glanced down at her lap. She began to count her fingers while both Dosio and Sharq watched closely. She counted five, then five again, and began to count faster and faster, fingers flashing like bullets. Dosio's scowl eventually changed to a face of mystified astonishment as Lalai finished. She looked up and rested her hands on her lap.

"About a hundred years," Lalai explained with a slight smile, "Give or take a few."

Dosio placed his two hands on his face. "...You don't look like you're one-hundred years old."

Lalai suppressed a laugh, settling for a giggle. "No, man! I'm just a modern agent. This dates all the way back to the Great Turf War at least a hundred years ago."

Sharq tapped his chin. "Great Turf War? Sounds familiar…darn my memory!"

Amused, Dosio rolled his eyes. "Memory ain't the only thing you need to get checked."

"Ruuuuude," Sharq complained.

"Might've heard of it once or twice before too," Dosio explained as he pushed Sharq to the side.

"That's a surprise," Lalai rolled her eyes, "Anyone else I talk to think it's some new event or prank."

"Is it?" Dosio asked and arched an eyebrow.

Lalai's smile faded and was replaced with a look of extraordinary disappointment. "No."

Dosio scowled. "Ah, sorry. Explain to the guy who doesn't do anything other than Turf."

Sharq folded his arms and tilted his head. "Hold on, it's a little fuzzy, but for some reason, also sorta familiar. I'm sure Splin talked about it before."

"Do you want the short version or the long one?" Lalai inquired with another sigh as she peeked at the ceiling again, "Wow, they're really scared of that."

Sharq and Dosio sat up straight and stared directly at her. "Short version," the two requested simultaneously.

Lalai shook her head. "What is wrong with our city?" she asked as she stretched her arms into the air, one in front of the other, "No one cares about anything but pop star drama and who has the better win rate."

Sharq and Dosio adopted faces of confusion. Lalai simply blinked at the odd stares she was given.

"It's another long story," Lalai explained.

"Start one story at a time, then," Dosio stated plainly as he leaned towards the fire, "The Great Turf War?"

"Okay." Lalai gazed down at the dying, weak blaze and took a deep breath. "About a hundred years ago or so, we, the Inklings, and the enemy, the Octarians lived in peace and harmony. That would come to an end when it turned out the tides somewhere around..."

Lalai paused, pursed her lips, and glanced up again with a frown. She tapped her leg back and forth repetitively, with concentration thick on her face. Nearby, Spyke grimaced, staring down at her finger tapping. His own, bony finger had begun to tap in the same, irregular, extraordinarily fast rhythm. Curious, the rest of the group turned around and stared, much to Spyke's displeasure. He scowled and quit tapping, as did Lalai, and glared at her stationary hands.

"Sorry, I know I said that this would be the short version, but..." Lalai grinned sheepishly, "It's a little complicated."

Dosio rolled his eyes and rambled, "The Inklings and the Octarians fought, we won, something, something revenge. "

Lalai nodded in surprise. "Nevermind, that's right. Give or take a few giant Octoweapons, some Inkling agents, and the Squid Sisters."

Sharq had on a surprised look. "Whoa, the Squid Sisters were agents?"

Lalai, Spyke, and Dosio stared at him in silence. Another camera flash enveloped the darkness, to which Dosio responded with some choice language.

Sharq beamed and nudged Dosio with his elbow. "Joking, man. Hey, I can remember...some things!"

"You're annoying sometimes, anyone ever tell you that?" Dosio complained.

"Aww," Sharq beamed, "You and Splin would get along!"

Dosio grimaced and scooted closer to the fire. He held both of his hands carefully in front of the flame, a scowl on his face. Sharq gave him a light smile and did the same, moving closer to the fire. As soon as Sharq moved closer, Dosio stopped what he was doing and shook his head in disbelief. Sharq simply grinned back.

"How long have you two been friends?" Lalai asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Since today," Sharq and Dosio announced with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

Lalai stared at the odd pair. "Okay."

She returned to peering at the fire.

Just then, Dosio shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. "Yeah, yeah. Anyone know why's it so cold down here, anyway?"

"Might have to do with them," Lalai spoke and pointed up to the ceiling, "The jellyfish are blocking out the sunlight."

"Great, the Turf Wars are cancelled and it's freezing," Dosio muttered bitterly and shivered again.

Sharq pat him on the shoulder reassuringly. "Hey, it could be worse. We could be stuck in the middle of a blizzard."

Dosio glanced around the plaza and at the jellyfish restlessly. "You think we could…open up that manhole, then?"

Lalai arched an eyebrow. "What's that mean?"

Dosio rubbed his arms together in front of his chest as he shuddered. "You said something earlier about the Octarians in the sewer system. How many could you fit down there?"

"Octo Valley," Lalai corrected, "And I didn't put them down there- Where are you going with this?"

"We should drain them all." Dosio looked upon the jellyfish irritably, "Like a whirlpool."

Lalai's eyes widened. "And what's THAT mean?"

"Oh yeah, why can't we just do that?" Sharq blinked and surveyed the plaza, "I bet we could fit a whole bunch of these guys in Octo Valley!"

Lalai stared at the other two incredulously, then shook her head and held up one finger. "Okay, first, seriously? 'Drain them'? What are you thinking?"

"Hey, I've had a long day!" Dosio barked and crossed his arms, "Besides, it's always good to have a backup plan! Right, Sharq?"

"Yeah!" Sharq pumped his fist in the air. "Like ours!"

Dosio arm's suddenly fell slack. "Aw, ship."

Lalai waved him off and held up two fingers. "Second, I'd rather not get anyone else involved in civil war and natural disasters. There's been civil unrest in Octo Valley for a while."

The Inklings scooted closer to her, careful of the flame. "Civil unrest?"

"There's been a…" Lalai pursed her lips and tapped the floor distractedly.

As if noticing, Spyke stopped and stared at her. Sheepishly, Lalai retracted her hand and rested it in her lap with an open-tooth grin. With a shake of his head, Spyke went back to rhythmically tapping the asphalt, but with his eye now fixated suspiciously on Lalai.

She cleared her throat and spoke up, "There's been an accident," she mentioned, "A lot of Inklings and Octarians are still down there, helping each other, organizing teams..."

"I thought everything was peaceful down there?" Sharq inquired.

Lalai frowned and muttered, "It's hard to explain. Other agents like hanging out in Octo Valley and that usually causes a few altercations. There's the instability of some old home kettles," Lalai continued, "There are also tons of rebel factions, Sharq. That's not even mentioning the giant robot flying around…"

Lalai paused when she noticed the blank stares Sharq and Dosio gave her.

Unamused, Dosio stated, "A robot."

"Since when are there rebels down there?" Sharq asked.

Dosio shut his eyes. "Why is- Why is that worth more than the giant robot?"

Lalai shook her head. "I'd love to show you, just to explain, but it's really not worth going down there, trust me. Cap'n Cuttlefish called me down there because of that, a few other plans, and because…"

Lalai suddenly cocked an eye around them, much to the bewilderment of the group.

"Hold on!" She whispered excitably.

Lalai flashed a smile, stood up, and did a little pose, puffing her chest out and holding her arms behind her back. The Inklings and the urchin stared at her, each dead silent.

"I'm Agent 3, of course!" Lalai proclaimed with a smile.

Everyone present just stared. The silence was broken as a few of the jellyfish began to snap pictures, effectively blinding the group with the glare of flash photography. Lalai beamed while the others simply gawked at her.

"Why is everyone in this city so weird?" Dosio asked, leering at Sharq.

"Well, I'd say it's- Hey!" Sharq protested and pushed Dosio away, much to the other's amusement.

As she blinked the dots out of her eyes, Lalai sat back down bashfully. "So, yeah, I needed to get down there quick."

Sharq tilted his head in curiosity when almost immediately, his face lit up. "Oh! That's what Pela meant by-"

Almost immediately, there was another period of prolonged silence between the group. Sharq blinked, then frowned, and looked from person to person in utter confusion. Across from him, Lalai's face had flashed a cherry tint. She had hunched over as if she had just been socked in the gut, with her hands planted on the sides of her face in shock. Dosio, on the other hand, stared at Sharq with nothing but a blank face and a head shake of disapproval. Meanwhile, mute in all of this, Spyke peered up at the ceiling, narrowing his one eye up at the jellyfish, and muttered something about snail thieves.

"Oh," Sharq said lamely, his shoulders deflating, "Uh…surprise!"

"Oh. My. Cod," Lalai whispered, mortified, as she hid her face behind her tentacles, "You- She- She wasn't supposed to to…"

Dosio rolled his eyes, and Sharq cleared his throat and glanced away. "Ooh, my bad."

Lalai shook her head rapidly, only stopping after a few seconds, when she cleared her throat. "This is…" she glanced at Sharq and brushed the tentacles out of her face, "What did she say?"

Sharq pursed his lips. "Um…am I allowed to tell you that?"

Lalai nodded curtly and gazed at him in dead seriousness. "Please."

Sharq stared at Dosio, then at Lalai, took one deep breath, and finally spoke up, "Well, she did look…sad, y'know?"

Lalai's shoulders sank and her tentacles began to droop low by her side. Sharq paused and kicked back by the fire respectfully. Suddenly, Lalai nodded at him, wrapping her arms around her legs as she sat.

"Oh, man," Lalai muttered to herself.

Sharq began slowly, "Um, about you and Pela…"

Instinctively, he turned to Dosio. In response, Dosio simply sighed and gave him a reluctant shrug.

"We're gonna be here a while, anyway," Dosio told him as he laid back on the asphalt.

Dosio settled on his back and arranged himself on the blacktop, resting his head uncomfortably on top of his arms. As he rested on his side, he stared up at Sharq. With a scowl, Dosio pointed back across the fire to the pink Inkling firmly. Sharq smiled and gave him a nod.

Sharq turned back towards the fire. "Is everything okay between you two?"

"Okay," Lalai repeated the word with plenty of uncertainty, "Yeah. It's just…" She folded her arms over her lap. "We've both been working at our own pace for so long. We don't have a lot of time to talk to each other anymore."

Sharq nodded in understanding. "Mm-hm."

Lalai gazed up at the gaping holes in the jellyfish sea above them. "Pela's been busy at her restaurant, I've been busy with my agent work. We can't ever seem to find a moment to really do anything anymore unless it's helping each other out with our work or...we just don't get to do anything together anymore," Lalai muttered as she gave Sharq a long, hard stare, "As sisters."

"Uh-huh." Sharq nodded again faster.

"I guess we're just drifting apart," Lalai finished as she shrunk into a small pink squid and stared up at the sky through the holes, "That's just...how it is."

Sharq looked at her pitifully. "Aw. How long has this been going on?"

Lalai switched back into an Inkling as she laid back on the ground. "...Ever since I became an agent?"

The group sat deep in thought as the rug continued to burn. The fire ate away at the last of the carpet on the floor while the rest laid discarded, reduced to smolder and ash. Spyke glared at the remnants of the rug and hung his head low.

Sharq broke the silence as he spoke up, "It sounds like you're both trying your best."

Lalai's eyes narrowed at the ceiling and balled her hand into a fist. "What if my best isn't good enough?"

"Hey." Sharq waved to her with a worried look. "Don't think like that."

Lalai scowled at Sharq. "I can't shake this feeling, Sharq. It's like there's some sort of force field between us," she muttered as she rested back on the floor, "And I'm usually good at breaking those."

Sharq's shoulders dropped low. "Lalai…"

"Married to your work, huh?"

The two Inklings turned towards Dosio. He eyed them tiredly as he lounged on the asphalt, his Splash Goggles lying lazily dangled around his neck.

"Yes," Lalai affirmed with a nod.

"So, you and your sister work twenty-four-seven. Neither of you get a break?" Dosio inquired as he tapped the ground with his shoe.

Spyke glared at his shoe vehemently. As soon as Dosio picked up on it, he began to tap faster with a sadistic grin on his face, much to the irritation of Spyke.

"Hey, don't think I forgot about that Cod-awful re-roll you did for me a while back," Dosio told him with a grin.

Spyke rolled his eye and muttered, "Inklings."

Lalai sighed. "We do have a few days off, but-"

"A few?"

"My schedule is sort of what you'd call 'flexible'," Lalai muttered.

Dosio laid on his side and stretched. "Elaborate."

"Dosio?" Sharq asked with a curious stare.

Lalai huffed and crossed her arms indignantly. "Three."

Dosio leaned in with one of his hands cupped behind his ear, putting his head precariously closer above the fire. "Three what?"

"Three weeks," Lalai admitted as she leaned across the fire as well, "And I usually have those three weeks booked."

"For what?"

"More work."

"What kind?"

"Important receptionist work."

"You're a receptionist too?"

Lalai sighed and rested one hand on her face. "It's complicated."

"How?"

Round after round, Dosio fired off question after question, one after the other ranging from all sort of tidbits about Lalai's job. Clear and precise, Lalai answered every question fired at her without missing a beat. While the two asked and answered at the speed of sound, Sharq and Spyke just looked on in awe and boredom respectively.

"Time of day?" Dosio asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Morning to afternoon," Lalai stated firmly.

"Yeah, alright." Dosio leaned back.

Sharq tilted his head. "So, what'd you find out?"

"That she...works too hard," Dosio muttered with his fist under his chin.

Sharq nearly fell over on his back. Scrambling back up, he sat up straight and gawked at Dosio for a solid ten seconds. Dosio frowned back at him, eyebrow arched. The fire continued to burn what was left of the rug, reducing it to nearly nothing but cinders and near-microscopic burning bits.

"Is that it?" Sharq asked with a bewildered expression, "What the heck does that tell us?"

Dosio nodded. "Yep, she works too hard. She should use all of those breaks to visit her sister."

There was a prolonged silence lingering in the air. Everyone present, including a few jellyfish, stared down at Dosio with inexplicable, confused faces.

Dosio's face scrunched up. "Oh, come on! You were the ones who were like, 'Let's sit around this burning rug and wait'-"

At this point, Spyke reacted with an obscene hand gesture behind Dosio's back. While surprised, the other two Inklings coughed absentmindedly and ignored him.

Lalai shook her head. "No, that's great advice. But I still have so much to do during those off days, like-"

"Let me stop you right there and ask you one last question. By definition, those are your days, right?" Dosio asked.

Lalai nodded at him. "Yeah, but keep in mind I still have to perform errands, like checking Callie's driving progress, or helping Marie out with the holiday stuff, or-"

"Don't."

Lalai blinked in surprise. "But I-"

Dosio shook his head and glared at her. "Don't help them out. Take some time off for yourself. And your sister," he announced firmly as he lounged back on the cement.

Lalai pursed her lips. "I don't know…"

Dosio shrugged and placed his Splash Goggles firmly on his face. "Then have fun drifting apart from her."

Sharq gawked at him incredulously. "Dosio!"

"I'm just saying. It ain't healthy devoting yourself to your work and…" Dosio trailed off, "Never stopping to take a break. Even when you really need to."

Dosio stared down at the fire in silence for quite some time, as did Lalai. Sharq looked to each of the Inklings. A worried frown grew on his face as he glanced at each of his friends.

Suddenly, Lalai looked up from the fire, and gave them a small smile. "You're right."

Dosio glanced up from the fire. "Hm?"

"We really haven't gotten together to do anything in a long time," Lalai stated as she looked Dosio dead in the eyes, "You're absolutely right."

Dosio nodded. "Mm."

"I mean, there's still the expedition and the buttload of packing that needs to be done but…" Lalai sighed and beamed, "After this is all over, I'm definitely visiting her."

Dosio stared at Lalai for quite some time before resigning with a sigh. "Guess I'm taking a break too. Y'know, if this plan works?"

The group glanced towards Sharq, who sat idly by, staring up at the jellyfish. Dosio snapped his fingers, but to no avail, as Sharq continued to stare in a trance.

"Sharq?" Dosio waved at his face.

"Yeah!" Sharq asked, sitting straight, finally turning to him.

"Since we're still sitting here, shouldn't we finally tell Lalai the plan?" Dosio asked.

"Oh, the plan!" Sharq hopped up in place.

"Yeah, the thing we should've told her like, five years ago," Dosio muttered, "Can't forget that."

Sharq smiled, "That's what the fire is for!"

"Huh?"

Sharq reached down and tapped the blacktop near the fire with a grin present on his face. "What, did you think we'd just be sitting around this fire all day for no reason?"

Dosio, Lalai, and Spyke nodded at the same time in response. Sharq just smiled and looked back up at the sky.

"Don't worry, I've had this all planned," Sharq explained and pointed at the ceiling, "You see that?"

The group peered their heads up at the ceiling and gasped. The hole in the expanse of jellyfish had grown exponentially. Sunlight streamed through the circle and into the pit, and the sky was uncovered, the thin trail of smoke from the carpet streaming up into the air.

"Thanks for starting that fire, Lalai!" Sharq cheered.

Lalai blinked and shielded her eyes. "Um, no problem."

Dosio stared into the sun in a trance. "How did she-"

He spun to Lalai. She whistled innocently as she stowed away a lighter in her pants' pockets, only giving Dosio a shrug in return. "It always helps to be prepared."

"Prepared for what, arson?" Dosio asked, "Nevermind that, how did you know this would work?"

"No one likes breathing in smoke, so it was a cinch!" Sharq announced, pumping his fist up in the air.

Dosio blinked. "You made a fire to shoo away the jellyfish because they don't like smoke."

"Yes," Sharq stated in a matter-of-factly voice.

"That's really stupid," Dosio commented with a scowl.

Sharq shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry tough guy, it was either that, or try to swim up the jellyfish."

Dosio shuddered. "When you put it like that…"

"Okay!" Sharq beamed, "Now, we can all Super Jump out of here, over the barrier, and enter the Squid Sisters' studio from the back! It'll be easy! Once we're in there, we'll just start Inkopolis News, broadcast across Inkopolis, and persuade the jellyfish to leave!"

"Sounds like a plan," Lalai nodded.

"Whatever. Beats sitting down here." Dosio admitted, switching into a squid.

Sharq grinned. "That's the spirit!"

Following his lead, Sharq shrunk down into a squid, as did Lalai. The three squids pointed up at the sky, tentacles trembling.

"Ready?" Sharq asked aloud, "One, two-"

"What about me?" Spyke inquired.

The three squids sitting on the ground glanced over at the urchin.

"Oh," Sharq spoke, "Spyke."

Spyke glared down at the squids while he sat upon the remains of his carpet. His one eye and emotionless frown stayed patient as Sharq waddled forward in his squid form.

"Um…you can stay put?" Sharq suggested, "Does that sound alright?"

Spyke remained silent and stiff. As he continued to glare down at Sharq emotionlessly, Sharq simply hopped away, rejoined the trio, and shot off into the air with a burst of ink. The two other squids launched into the sky as well, leaving Spyke to sit on his ruined carpet.

"...Seriously?" Dosio asked Sharq as they jet off into the sky.

Sharq rolled his eyes. "You make the plan next time."

"Y'know what?"

"What?"

"I will," Dosio nodded firmly.

"Good!" Sharq cheered, "It's settled."

The urchin watched the three squids bounced away, eventually vanishing over the barrier. Spyke then glanced down at his rug and sighed. Smoke no longer rising into the air, the jellyfish closed over the urchin and draped the plaza back in a dark veil.

Spyke leaned to the side. "If they manage actually fix all'o this, I'm quittin'."

Judd's head poked out of a nearby pile of jellyfish. "Meow. (I'd purr-frain from making bets you can't keep.)"

"Maybe," Spyke muttered and pushed a jellyfish to the side, "Or maybe I'm just bloody sick of Inklings."

* * *

"C'mon, you cowards!" Pela screamed as she flailed about, "Fight me!"

Nearby, Zip pursed her lips and glanced down. "Pela, I think you can stop now."

"No way! I can…!" Pela strained in place for about a full minute to no avail, "Ah, great."

Willie groaned, "What'd you think would happen when you decided to hit these jellyfish?"

All three of the other Inklings were caught in the grasp of the jellyfish. Several angry eyebrow jellyfish surrounded the trio, binding them back-to-back. Pela strained, feebly attempting to smack the tentacles wrapped around them with her frying pan, her arm forcibly constricted to her side. The streets of Inkopolis laid underneath piles of jellies aside from the minuscule circle that the trio sat in. The jellyfish around them made bubbling noises and pointed at Pela occasionally. Despite their angry eyebrows drawn on, they watched Pela uncomfortably.

"Enough of that! Willie, help me get us out of this!" Pela ordered.

Willie bit his lip. "I dunno Pela, it's gonna take a while with this spoon you gave me."

He demonstrated by lightly smacking the jellyfish tentacles using the wooden spoon in his right hand.

"Gah," Pela complained, "Zip?"

"Pela, we can't move, we can't escape," Zip switched into a squid only to flap fruitlessly in the grasp of the jellyfish, "All we can do now is face the music."

Pela scowled. "And set the precedent that they can just walk over us?"

Willie shouted, "They just did!"

Pela kicked at the jellyfish surrounding them. "Get your tentacles off-a me!"

The jellyfish glared at her.

"What is wrong with you people? You order without paying, you wrap us up like we're presents-" Pela shouted at the jellyfish.

"Oh, Squidmas is soon," Willie muttered, "What to get..."

Zip smiled. "Aw."

"For me, of course." Willie winked.

Zip rolled her eyes.

"What next, huh?" Pela shouted, "Are you going to torture us too?"

The jellyfish glared at her. Again.

"Ugh! It's like you don't understand anything I'm saying at all!" Pela provoked, furiously slapping the tentacles with her pan.

The jellyfish-

"Wait, Pela." Willie bit his lip.

"What?' Pela asked loudly.

Willie cleared his throat. "Let me just try something. Hey!"

The jellyfish stopped glaring at Pela silently and turned their heads up to glare blankly but angrily at Willie. The crowd began to pile in closer and closer.

"If you want, I'll- I'll cook for free for every single one of you! How many of you like fish?" Willie asked the crowd.

Pela's straining only increased. "I'm the boss here, Willie!"

"Calm down, I'm not actually going to give these guys free food!" Willie shouted in response.

"Shh!" Pela shushed him.

The jellyfish continued to stare and crowd around the three mindlessly. Zip switched back to Inkling form, her legs dangling and ready to kick. Pela growled in irritation, keeping a close eye on Willie regardless.

"Let's see...let me try something else. Hey! All of you look like...water balloons that a five-year old would make..?" Willie stammered.

Zip arched an eyebrow as she scanned the crowd, then her eyes lit up. She cleared her throat and screamed, "Yeah, you losers! You're- Um...you look like walking, blue, pimples?"

"...The shell are you two talking about?" Pela asked.

Zip blushed yellow and pouted at her boss. "I'm at a loss for words. That was the best I could come up with."

"But why?"

Willie pointed with his finger as best he could towards the jellyfish. "That's why."

Pela scowled and surveyed the mob of jellyfish. Her gaze softened, albeit not by much. Amidst the jellyfish, the jellies just continued to stare at them without any other emotion other than absolute bewilderment. A few of the jellyfish turned to one another, wiped their eyebrows off, reached down to the floor to snatch one of the markers still left, and re-drew eyebrows over their faces. Legions of jellyfish surrounding the Inklings now sported confused brows sketched in marker.

"They don't understand you, me, or Zip. They literally can't." Willie muttered, "They're just doing whatever they want."

"Oh my Cod," Pela murmured as she sank in defeat, eying the jellyfish with disdain, "Now I just feel stupid."

Willie swallowed and remarked, "So...anyone know how to speak jellyfish?"

"Ship, ship, Coddam it." Pela cursed to herself miserably.

Zip looked over her right shoulder pitifully. "Pela?"

"Wait a minute...you still went into my restaurant and ordered food. You still ordered, you still have to pay," Pela spoke, her head hung low.

Zip nudged Pela's shoulder with her head. "It's okay, Pela. We can- Um."

One of the jellyfish hopped up to the trio curiously. The three Inklings stared at the jellyfish, each one of them thoroughly confused. The jellyfish swiftly reached inside of its shirt and pulled out a small sheet of paper.

"What does he want?" Pela asked with her head still facing the ground.

The jellyfish lightly pushed the menu in front of Zip's face. Scrunching up her face, she scanned the paper, then turned to Pela.

"He has a menu," Zip announced, "Oh Cod, he's circled all of the items ag- Ah!"

Several other jellyfish surrounded the trio, all armed with paper menus. The tentacles around them suddenly squeezed, effectively choking the Inklings.

"Agh!" Willie yelled, "Stop that!"

Zip squeaked like a toy. "I think they want more food," she explained.

"No," Pela shook her head.

They were promptly squeezed once again. Willie and Zip looked as though they were explode, whereas Pela continued facing the ground, numb to the strangling grip the tentacles had.

"Pela, I reaaaaaally think you should listen to them," Willie added as his face had taken on a purple tinge, "Please?"

Zip nodded excessively, "We'll do it, just, somehow tell them-" she coughed as her entire body was squeezed, "Ow, ow, ow!"

Pela stayed silent and shook her head. "No...no! That's- that's-"

"Pela? Just-" Willie choked out his words, "Just tell them we'll do it!"

"That's BULLSHIP!"

Immediately, the tentacles were scattered in the wind. Jellyfish were blown back, as did the Inkling couple. Taken off-guard, Willie and Zip switched into squids while they were launched through the air and landed in the jellyfish. Slightly dizzy, both peeked out from the jellyfish.

"Oh, whoa!" Willie shouted as he leaped out of the way with Zip by his side.

He and Zip dove into the jellies. As soon as they breached the surface of the jellies, they felt themselves lift up into the air, the feeling of gravity vanishing beneath them. With shouts and screams, the two were launched up on top of a tidal wave of jellies traveling fast across the ground. The two Inklings clutched both each other and the jellyfish they rode upon tightly as they rushed past buildings and structures.

As the rode, Zip noticed several other Inklings peering at them from the safety of their windowsills or rooftops. Managing a smile, Zip attempted to wave. "Hey there- Bwaaagh!"

Unfortunately, in doing so, the both of them began to slip off of the jellies.

"Brace for it!" Willie yelped.

The two Inklings landed on the asphalt and watched in horror as the wave of jellies began to crash down. Holding each other for dear life, they tensed and curled into two squid balls on the ground.

"Hyah!"

Before the wave could collapse on top of both of them, there was a tremendous clang. In front of them, Pela stood hunched over, her frying pan pushing back against an unfortunate jellyfish's head. To the sides of them, jellyfish poured past and hit the ground like slabs of gelatin. The jellyfish rushed past until the wave eventually reduced to a few stragglers falling over one another.

Satisfied, Pela dropped the other jellyfish and laughed. "You understand that, huh?"

"Pela…" Willie blinked and stared down at the jellyfish.

Pela sighed and let herself drop to the ground. "Phew."

The other two Inklings stared down at her. She stared at the jellyfish in front of her with an exhausted expression. Willie pushed a few of the jellyfish out of the way, leaving two empty spaces to the sides of Pela. He and Zip promptly took a seat around Pela and gawked at her, much to Pela's amusement.

"...What?" Pela asked with a small smile as sweat dripped down her face, "You impressed? Fallin' in love with me or something?"

"That was awesome," Willie stated, grinning from ear to ear.

Zip, on the other hand, continued to stare at her, completely awestruck. "You blew up. We all did."

"Zip, my sister's a secret agent," Pela mentioned as she reached into her pockets and pulled out a small, glass pyramid filled with liquid, "I didn't believe her when I said I might need these, but…"

"That's the smallest Splat Bomb I've ever seen." Willie marvelled at the small glass object.

"We can admire it later. Let's go," Pela told them as she stood up and began to climb over the jellyfish.

Willie jolted up. "What?"

Pela stopped in the middle of climbing over the wall of collapsed jellyfish and shot a look at him. "You didn't think we were done, did you?"

"Could I use a free day now?" Willie protested.

"Willie!" Zip protested as she nodded towards Pela.

Willie sighed. "Coming."

"These jellyfish aren't giving up unless we make 'em," Pela shook her head, "And something tells me your friend's gonna need some help with making that happen."

* * *

AN: I could joke again about taking a long time, but...nah.

Thanks R.C.D., Guest, and write n wrong for reviewing.

R.C.D., you spoil me with compliments. While it's certainly subjective, I'm glad you seem like enjoying the story so far. I'm also considering what you said about ending this story. If this gets to 100 chapters, I might need to end this whole Bate Brothers shenanigans, either only for this story, or for all stories entirely. I will admit, I'm unsure of how long I can keep this up! Still, for the time being, thanks for reviewing.

Also, now that you mention it, it really did seem a little like Dynasty Warriors. Good thing I stopped referencing so rapidly, otherwise that would be a thing. Probably. Probably not.

Y'know, I dunno why, but I still haven't received my advertisement check from Nintendo yet, write n wrong. Meh, must be a delay. In all seriousness, I have enjoyed Mario Odyssey. It's a fun game.

Guest, I'm unsure of who you are, but I'm glad you're keeping up with the story. Hope it's not too much of a strain on your eyes!

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see ya in part two!


	83. Happy Ann-i-versary!

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Happy Ann-i-versary!**

The Bate household was silent in the dead of night. The one main room was almost entirely pitch black, with hardly a sound aside from the occasional whistle of the breeze from the broken roof.

Nestled deep under the covers of his bed, Splin rested, deep in sleep. His bed was a mess as ever, as his headphones and his laptop laid on top of his sheets. Splin himself was deep in sleep, his eyes shut and his tentacles lying around in a messy style, neither of which were restrained by a hairband. In spite of its conditions, Splin continued to snore, undeterred by the clutter. Aside from him, the other bed laid empty and rustled, with Sharq nowhere to be seen.

"...Why are we all watching this kid sleep?" A gruff voice questioned.

"Everyone, shush! It's build-up. Any second now, rival shall arise from the covers of night, and be promptly surprised!"

There was a fit of grumbling, but otherwise, the room remained silent. A few seconds passed, and Splin continued sleeping, oblivious to the intruders.

"The cake's getting stale."

"Shh! Pela!"

"I'm just saying. We have to dig in soon."

"We can't, he hasn't come back yet."

"I don't understand what I'm doing here."

"Because Xarius is horribly impulsive. If we are to use the map to find-"

"Oy. We'll get BACK to that soon. This is a family affair."

"Guys, guys, shut up, you're all being dumb."

"Tai, so help me, if you don't-"

"Ari...like...who are these people? Why are we here?"

"Ah, remember how I was telling you about my beloved-"

"Gasp! No way! Is she your girlfriend? Whoever that voice is?"

"No, not really."

"Ah, such a joker. You should see her."

"Alright," Splin shouted and rose up in his bed, "Who's there?"

The entire room stopped and returned to dead silence. Splin squinted his eyes in the dark.

"Um."

"Everybody shut up...or whatever. Maybe if he doesn't hear us-"

Splin practically leaped out of bed, grabbing his headphones and placing them around his neck. Unceremoniously, his laptop fell to the floor with a thud. Quickly, Splin leaped for the closest light switch and flicked it on and glared at the rest of the room as light flooded in. He squinted as the light poured into the room. As the house lit up, Splin's hearts skipped a beat.

"...Hi, B?" Lalai added.

Ari rolled his eyes. "Where's your clam enthusiasm, people? Cod, alright, looks like it's up to me to save face."

Ari strolled out from the cast of characters sitting beside the kitchen counter. Rit and Bas sat on the top of the counter, whispering to one another. On the counter, a tall, three-layer cake rested on the table. Pela and Willie, garbed in messy chef uniforms, stood frozen in place like chef statues. Zip leaned on the counter, giving her brightest smile. Xarius, Ityl, and Alabaso lounged on the stools from afar. The two long-tentacle Inklings stayed clean away from one another while Xarius sat in between the both of them. Lalai sat lounged on the floor, the Tele-Cube sitting in her lap.

Splin stared at the group in absolute awe. A few seconds of elongated staring passed, before someone shouted, "Surprise!" The whole household quickly joined in with their own cheers and greetings, which ended up sounding like a strangled chorus.

"Oy!" Xarius called with a wave.

"Hi?" Splin waved back.

Lalai chuckled. "I'm surprised we lasted as long as we could. You must be a deep sleeper!"

Before he could react, Ari walked forward and stopped in front of Splin with the most unexpected of gestures: an outstretched hand. "Congratulations, rival! Who's the lucky lady?"

"The who?" Splin asked tiredly.

Ari chuckled. "Your anniversary?"

"My what?" Splin wondered aloud.

Ari's smile dropped. "...Did you forget?"

Splin sighed. "Can someone tell me what's going on before-"

"I told you it was his birthday." Pela scowled.

Willie gulped and stretched the collar of his chef uniform. "Shooooooooot."

Zip glanced over at the cake. "Maybe we can make some adjustments…"

"Alright, hold on," Splin announced and began to walk to the kitchen, "First of all, can someone explain what's going on and why you're all here. Second of all-"

The room erupted with noise. Almost immediately, everyone began to explain, resulting in a cacophony of people talking over each other.

Amidst the noise, Splin shouted, "One at a time! One at a- Oof!"

Splin yelped as he backed into the large cake. Almost as if they were activated in response, Pela and Willie jumped in front of the cake. The cake, promptly dragged by gravity, toppled on top of them. As it collapsed where it fell, Splin's eyes widened as he noticed something fall off the top layer. Quickly, he reached out with both of his hands, catching the object as it fell. Splin frowned, stood back up, and stared into the palms of his hands.

"You're in on this too?" Splin asked, already exasperated.

"You woke up a little earlier than expected, Splin," Ann-Gel admitted.

Willie nearly dropped the cake. "That thing's alive?"

"That explains the box," Pela muttered with a grunt, holding the cake tight.

Ann-Gel smiled weakly. "That's the last time I try to sleep."

"...What did you guys put on her?" Splin asked aloud as he inspected the Inkling.

Splin thought he saw her face flush. Ann-Gel glanced down at the white bridal dress she was draped in, then looked back up at Splin with a pout. Her pedestal was coated with a slight layer of cake residue. Splin then took notice of something on the ground. Another statuette of an Inkling dressed in a fine black suit laid stranded on the floor. The both of them glanced at the rest of the party.

Zip shrugged. "We weren't aware of what we were celebrating either, Splin."

Across the table, Rit cleared her throat. "We assumed, y'know, anniversary meant-"

"I'm only seventeen," Splin explained with a scowl as he placed Ann-Gel back on the table, "And single."

Alabaso scoffed. "That's nothing. I've seen relationships as young as-"

"Oy," Xarius muttered as he clamped his hands over Alabaso's mouth, "Ain't necessary."

"Can we talk about the talking figure?" Willie suggested aloud as he eyed Ann-Gel suspiciously.

"I dunno, can you take off this dress?" Ann-Gel complained.

Splin shook his head. "Seriously, does ANYONE know what's going on?"

Splin looked at each of the people present. Each and every person just stared at one another and began to mutter quietly. Willie and Pela pushed the toppled cake back on the table and stared at each other with concerned looks.

"Maybe he meant birthday."

"No, pretty sure he meant anniversary."

Frustrated, Splin shouted, "Someone! Anyone! Any context is fine, just tell me what's going-"

Just then, the roof splintered open as Sharq fell through.

"On," Splin finished.

The kitchen counter was about as cluttered as it could be. A ruined cake, a fancily dressed amiibo, and now an Inkling and several planks of shattered wood laid on top of the surface. Soon enough, everyone began to crowd around the table and stare at Sharq as he laid face down on the desk.

"Did Sharq just die?" Tai remarked as she popped up from under the counter.

Suddenly, everyone turned their attention to the Octoling. Tai blinked, then stared at each one of them.

"Just checking," she remarked as she crawled back underneath the counter.

"Is anyone going to talk about THAT?" Zip chimed in concerned.

Splin scowled. "Oh boy, I think I know where this is headed."

Suddenly, Sharq lifted up his face from the table with a smile. He opened his mouth to speak, only to cough up sawdust and a few pieces of wood. Spitting the wood out, he jumped off the table and walked up to Ari.

"Great work, Ari!" Sharq cheered, "It looks like almost everyone's here!"

Ari scoffed but beamed nonetheless. "Did you expect anything less from the amazing-"

"Splin!" Sharq called out as he walked past.

Ari practically deflated. With a sigh, he resigned himself to the table once more. Hands behind his back, Sharq walked up to the still tired Splin.

"Guess what day it is!" Sharq asked with a smile.

"...Anniversary day?" Splin asked aloud.

Sharq grinned from ear to ear. "You remembered!"

"Not really. What anniversary are we celebrating?" Splin asked with a scowl.

Sharq smiled again and planted his hands on his sides. "Why, the one-year anniversary of course! The anniversary of our story!"

Everyone in the room sat in complete silence. Bewildered looks were shared between the rest of the cast as they whispered to one another.

"...Oh yeah," Splin muttered blankly, "I forgot about that."

Sharq nodded enthusiastically. "Today I had a bunch of things planned! First, I- Huh?"

Sharq watched, almost just as confused as Splin walked back to his bed, shoved his computer off the bed, and crawled back underneath the covers. Boredly, Splin removed his headphones from his head, placed it on the floor, and laid on his side.

"Splin?" Sharq asked aloud.

"Feel free to do that, I'm going back," Splin muttered drowsily.

Sharq pouted. "Come on Splin! I did this for you."

"Yeah, but it really doesn't matter," Splin announced.

"Jeez, that's kinda cold," Pela remarked.

Sharq's shoulders sank. "Why?"

"Don't get me wrong," Splin sighed, "I appreciate the festivities, I really do."

"Then why don't you come celebrate with us?" Sharq asked aloud.

Splin cocked one eye open, sat up, and stared Sharq straight in the eyes. "Because you're not real."

"...What?"

"This is a just a dream after all," Splin remarked plainly as he tucked himself into bed.

* * *

Splin opened his eyes slowly. He blinked a few times until his vision cleared. Slowly but surely, he sat up on his bed and glanced around his house. His home was absent besides himself, illuminated by the morning light. Turning to his left, he peered at the alarm clock, which ticked away at the time as the seconds passed. With a sigh, Splin rested back on the bed and began to close his eyes.

"Splin, if you fall asleep again, you're going to miss out on breakfast," a voice chided him.

Splin's ears pricked up in the air. Almost at supersonic speed, Splin threw the covers off of his bed, sat upright on the mattress, and gawked at the right side of his bed.

Standing nearby his bed, smiling down at him was Maria. "Now that I've got your attention," she announced as she leaned down.

Splin stared at her, awestruck. He felt numb as she smooched his forehead and lightly rubbed the top of his head.

"Like Sharq said," she announced, "Happy one-year anniversary."

Splin sighed as he sat in bed, his eyelids already getting heavy. "You've all got a really cruel sense of humor."

"You learn to live with it," Phish muttered as he sat by.

"Mm!" Pirah nodded happily. "Have a nice nap, Splin!"

Splin tried his best to feign an angry face as he drifted back off to sleep. Within seconds upon his head hitting the pillow, he began to nod off. His vision blurred and he lost sensation in his body as he slipped away into the recesses of dreamland.

"Come on…" he slurred, "Just when it was getting good…"

* * *

AN: This isn't an allegory for anything, trust me.

Happy one-year, three days late anniversary of this story! You're all champions in my eyes for somehow reading this far.

Thanks, R.C.D. and Guest for reviewing.

I dunno R.C.D., you might be right about that theory, and you might be wrong. Who knows?

Thanks, Guest 1 and 2. At least, I think you're two different people. Still, nice to know there are still people relatively invested in the story.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off for another day.


	84. Quick Teuthatine's (Valentine's Day)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Another Quick Teuthatine's Day Chapter That Wasn't Even On Valentines'**

"Xaaaaaar!" Pirah called out, her hands on her hips, "Xarius! I know you're here somewhere!"

Pirah stumbled about. She blinked, waving her hands in front of her face as she made her way through her apartment. Holding onto a white smudge she assumed was the wall, she scanned her surroundings, sighing in irritation. Everything else looked like smudges, just differently colored.

"C'mooooooon Xar! I'm going out, I need to see! I don't have dolphin powers!" Pirah complained.

She could hear a devilish bout of laughter, then a simple, "No, you have to find me first. Those are the rules."

Pirah pouted blindly. "At least give me a hint."

There was a prolonged musing period, where she could hear a "Hmmmmmmmm" drone on through the apartment building. Pirah bit her bottom lip, set her hands on her sides with an annoyed flair, and waited, tapping her foot on the floor.

"I'm in somewhere you may see, but only where you'd...put feet," Xarius finished.

Pirah made a face. "What?"

"Oy! I'm not good at making riddles!" Xarius complained.

"Then how am I supposed to find youuuuuuuuu?" Pirah complained, resting her head on the side of the wall, "You're making this so-"

Pirah heard the doorknob jiggle and a door swing open. Instinctively, she craned her neck and looked to the side of the house where the front door was. A gust of cool air whisked itself through and caused Pirah to shiver ever so slightly.

"Xar!" Pirah exclaimed and made haste for the door, "You know the rules, no going- Wah!"

Pirah nearly tripped over herself. Thinking fast, she reached out and grabbed the first thing she could hold onto desperately. She gripped something, felt at it, and scowled. It felt cool to the touch initially, warmed up slightly in the palms of her hands, and twitched.

Pirah frowned. "Um."

"Oh, hey. Could you give these to her?" Xarius' small voice requested.

The blur she clutched between her hands spoke up, "That explains...this."

Pirah's face lit up, both with glee and a thin veil of blue. "Oh, my Cod."

Finding her balance, she let go of the blur and straightened herself up in place. She squinted and noticed a blue blob on the ground extend up towards the blur she had let go of. The blur bent down, picked something up from the blob, then offered it to her. Still flushed, Pirah reached out for the object, snatched it from the blur, and raised it to her face. Pirah readjusted her Black Arrowbands around her eyes and focused forward.

"Oh my Cod," Pirah spoke up again as she glanced away bashfully.

"Hi," Phish waved, "Is this a bad time?"

Xarius hummed. "We'll pick this game up later. I'll let you two talk it out!"

Pirah nodded down at the squishy blue squid on the ground. "Sure!"

Picking himself up best he could, Xarius shuffled off away from the two of them. With her vision returned, Pirah folded her hands together behind her back cocked her head in confusion.

"So um...what's up?" Pirah asked.

"I uh...wanted to check on you," Phish admitted as he scratched the back of his neck, "Then I heard screaming, and so I checked the door, and it was open, and now I'm inside."

"Oh," Pirah said.

The two stewed in a prolonged silence for longer than they should have. Pirah's face was still blushing blue, and Phish was more or less just as awkward, one hand behind his back and his other swinging freely.

"Well, you can see that I'm fine! Okay, thanks! Sorry about squeezing your face," Pirah apologized quickly as she made her way to the door.

Phish perked up, then set his hand on the door. "Wait, wait, one more thing."

Pirah blinked curiously. "Hm?"

Phish bit his lip, and removed one of his hands behind his back, holding it with both hands. Pirah gasped. In his hand was a small, pinkish-red box with a clear top, wrapped up with a small bow. Phish glanced to the side, then to the floor, only finally meeting eyes with Pirah face to face as he stepped in to offer it to her.

"I know this is extremely late…" Phish muttered, rubbing his neck, "But happy Teuthatine's Day, Pirah. I figured that-"

Pirah gasped as the stars in her eyes began to twinkle. "Really?"

"I know, it's sorta lazy of me-"

Pirah shook her head fervently. "Are you kidding, this is wonderful! Thank you!"

Without speaking, Pirah lurched forward and stole Phish from the outside, took the door, and closed it. Gleefully, she turned back around and hugged Phish around the neck.

"And you're not too late, it's only a day after Teuthatine's," Pirah announced gladly.

Phish managed a small, awkward smile. "Discounting the fact it's been at least three-hundred sixty-five days, give or take a few since I never really followed through on…"

Before Phish could continue, Pirah leaned in and kissed him quickly. Truth be told, it was hardly the pinnacle of grace. Her glasses bounced across Phish's face, her lips and his were not as aligned, and she kissed him slightly lower on the chin and his bottom lip, and he reeled back in a bit of a shock. She beamed and left him in a daze.

It was only after a few second that Phish snapped himself out of it, giving a sheepish grin back. "So, uh...yeah?"

Pirah reached around his arm, pulled him close and nodded. "Yeah."

"...Thanks?" Phish managed to stutter.

Pirah could not help but laugh and lean in for another one.

* * *

AN: I don't even think this was posted on Valentine's. I'm not good with holidays. :/ Well, that being said, happy Splatfesting everybody. Money vs. Love coming up this Friday.

Thanks, Darkstar, Guest 1, Guest 2, and R.C.D.

I'm glad you liked the previous chapter, Darkstar. It's nice seeing another familiar face.

Guest 1, I dunno about the whole "or more" thing, but a hundred chapters does sound like a good stopping point or milestone. I think it'd be a hard read if it extended past that milestone, y'know!

Also sorry Guest 2 but this wasn't the chapter you were expecting. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

R.C.D., you're totally right, he is such a teenager. Welp, teens will be teens, kids will be kids, and adults...are just older versions of the two. Eh, it depends I guess.

Thanks for reading, dunno how you still are, but thanks. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, and there's a lot of chocolate left to finish.

(I'm working on a longer chapter, I swear.)


	85. Migration Relocation 2 (MigVac Final)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **Migration Relocation: The Second One**

Sharq gulped, stood straight and tall, and leaned forward carefully. "Excuse me?"

Sharq tapped the jellyfish's head, then gave it an experimental push. The jellyfish bobbed back in forth in place as though it were rooted to the spot as if the wind pushed it. It reacted the same as if it was actually just wind, and simply scratched the spot on its head where Sharq pushed. Sharq frowned and tapped it again, and again, but to no avail.

"Uh...excuse me?" Sharq asked, "Could you move out of the way please?"

The jellyfish stared at Sharq for about five seconds, only to respond by flashing a camera in Sharq's face. Spots of green and pink clouded his vision. Immediately, Sharq turned around and rubbed his eyes. Shaking off the spots in his eyes, he nodded rapidly. Instantaneously, a bullet of pink ink burst from the side and blasted the jellyfish away into a enormous pile of other, knocked out jellyfish. Each one of the jellyfish in the pile were decorated with splotches of pink ink. The jellyfish twitched involuntarily from time to time.

Sharq smiled at Lalai, who sat perched nearby a streetlamp. Wielding a flashy Charger in hand, she took aim at the line of jellyfish in front of the Squid Sisters studio as Sharq walked up to the next jellyfish in line. A few more seconds passed, and the exact same thing happened again, prompting Lalai to take aim and fire. The jellyfish was launched to the side and into the pile, causing other ones to fall from the top down to the floor.

Dosio sighed, kicking his legs up in the air. "Can't we just shoot them all and be done with it?"

Lalai shrugged and fired another shot. "I think Sharq wants to try diplomacy first. Being merciful can pay off sometimes."

"What's merciful about shooting a bunch of unarmed jellyfish?" Dosio asked as he lounged on the floor.

"It's either that or try to barge in through the front," Lalai explained as she fired again knocked another jellyfish out cold, "And they don't look like they appreciate cutting in line."

Up ahead, one of the jellyfish glanced from side to side. Leaning out from the line, it eventually seemed to grow weary of the wait and began to walk out and towards the doors. As if a mental alarm was triggered, each and every jellyfish in the line turned and stared at the jellyfish. Sharq froze in place nearby. A mass of blue arms reached out from the jellyfish, picked up the one line defector, and then hurled him away into the sky. Sweat collected on Sharq's forehead. He swallowed, then made his way back to the line, trying to convince the jellyfish to leave.

"They don't seem to notice when I shoot them one by one," she explained

Dosio blew a raspberry and continued to watch the systematically slow slaughter. Minutes drawled on by, jellyfish by jellyfish piling up in an unconscious mass. Dosio yawned and rested his head on the asphalt as those minutes went by sluggishly.

Irritated, Dosio stood up and looked Lalai in the eyes. "This is boring."

Lalai sighed. "Alright, fine. You wanna take a shot at this?"

"Yeah," Dosio said with a nod, "Hand me that Charger."

Lalai rolled her eyes and handed him the Hero Charger. Grinning ear to ear, Dosio graciously took the gun from her, cocked one eye open, and aimed for the nearest jellyfish, only to drop the Charger and glower with a sour expression. Ahead, Sharq waved at the other two Inklings from the inside of the Squid Sisters' studio through the glass doors.

Dosio turned around slowly and disappointedly. Smiling devilishly, Lalai walked by, swaying side to side teasingly, and quickly pried the Charger from Dosio's frozen hands. Taking a second, he fumed and slapped his Splash Goggles on his face. He followed behind her, stuffing his hands into his pockets and grumbling all the way.

Sharq pulled open the doors with a grin and leaned on the glass. "After you!"

As Lalai was about to step inside, a blue blur stepped in front of her. From the floor, Dosio popped up and stepped inside in front of her, taking the Splash Goggles off of his face. She rolled her eyes again as she walked inside.

The lobby was practically abandoned. A wilting, potted plant stood in the corner of the room, to Lalai's dismay. A few scattered clumps of dust rolled around on the floor. In spite of the lobby's vividly painted walls and colors, the whole room seemed devoid of energy. Aside from the Inklings' footsteps, the only other noise in the lobby was the periodic ticking of the wall-mounted clock above the receptionist desk.

"You're already inside, Sharq," Dosio muttered as he passed by.

"You're welcome," Sharq told him as he beamed.

Lalai glanced around the lobby, setting her Charger on the floor. "So, what now?"

"Now, it's smooth sailing from here on out. All we have to do is broadcast to the rest of Inkopolis, convince the jellyfish to leave, and everything will go back to the way it was!" Sharq announced with a gleeful smile.

Lalai blinked. "Oh, I see."

Lalai leaned on the counter and pursed her lips. Dosio arched an eyebrow at her curiously. A bead of sweat dripped down her face as she stared at Sharq standing proud. Sharq glanced back at her, though his smile began to fail him.

"Is...is that it?" Lalai asked quietly.

Sharq frowned. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

Lalai stretched the collar of her jacket. "Well...do you have any back-up plans?"

Sharq made another small smile. Despite his smile, the rest of his face wore a pale complexion. "Well...I'm sure this will work."

"Really?" Lalai questioned.

Sharq nodded as he walked around the desk and started for the door in the back. "Positive," he mumbled as he opened the door and began to walk up a set of stairs.

Lalai and Dosio glanced at one another, uncertainty on their faces. Lalai folded her arms behind her back, sighed, and slowly made her way over to the door. Both she and Dosio began to follow behind Sharq, albeit slowly and silently.

"Open the door! Open the DOOOOOOOOOOR!"

The two of them snapped back around and stared through the glass panes. Lalai's eyes bulged in shock.

"Pela?" she squeaked.

On the other side of the glass doors, Pela was sprinting like her life depended on it. Although considering the humongous mob of jellyfish following after her, it was hardly a stretch to say that she was in danger.

"Danger?" Sharq asked as he poked his head out from the doorway.

Sweat drenched Pela's brow as she ran. From behind the mob, jellyfish lobbed object after object towards her. Pela ducked underneath a makeshift javelin made out of a signpost, dodged several blots of ink fired upon her, and braced as she was pelted from head to toe with marker caps. The caps proved to be the most effective, as they struck Pela, bruising her skin as they flew like bullets. Even in the hailstorm of caps and debris, Pela continued on, doing nothing more than covering her eyes and keeping her chef hat secure with her hand.

Lalai quickly ran to the doors and shoved them open. She waved to Pela urgently with both her hands. Pela smiled, and began to pick up speed, until she finally threw caution to the wind and broke into a full-on run. Lalai's eyes bugged out, and before she could respond, her sister threw herself through the doorway and knocked her down. Both hit the deck and slid to the back of the room, only to slam into the desk.

"Agh, ship!" Pela cursed as she held her head.

"Sis?" Lalai groaned, "What are you-"

Dosio quickly ran up to the doors, gripped each of their handles, and slammed them shut. The jellyfish army began flooding around the outside of the studio, drowning the ground and the debris still left on it. The front of the mob had donned eyebrows drawn in marker once again, except this time, they must have rushed it, as the jellyfish's faces were a combination of eyes and black scribbles. Not only were they pouring in from the front, but there were two other floods of jellyfish that came from the sides.

Dosio watched in horror as a few even dropped from the sky, only to redirect straight towards the studio. He felt his hearts pound in his chest as they squished against the window panes. A few armed jellyfish inexplicably fired at the doors with Splattershots from the back of the crowd. However, each ink shot fired only managed to make splotches on the window the size of a coin. As the jellies crowded around the entrance, Dosio braced himself behind the doors.

The resulting impact was astounding. Dosio was launched back and skidded across the floor. Blue tentacles stretched through and clawed at the frame, desperately trying to enter. One tentacle was trying its hardest to shove a camera between the doors' slots. Still standing, he dashed for the door and pressed himself to it again. The mob of jellyfish backed away from the door, only to run at it again and tackle the windows.

"They're breaking in!" Dosio shouted, "I mean, they're not very strong, but-"

The jellyfish shoved the doors again and launched Dosio to the floor. Holding onto the doors, he pulled himself up and shoved himself back against the door.

"They're very strong actually. Somebody give me a hand!" Dosio requested, pressing himself against the doors.

"You heard the badly dressed science student, go help him out!" Pela called out as she removed her toque.

Dosio scowled back at her, only to turn back to the door and hold it down as the jellyfish prepared for another tackle. Taking off her toque, Pela shook out two squids onto the floor.

"Ow," Willie muttered.

Zip said nothing, and continued to stare up at the ceiling as if in a trance. Frowning, Pela switched back into a squid and picked Zip up, only to throw her down. Specifically in front of the doors. Willie's eyes expanded in horror, but before he could react, he too was picked up off the floor and hurled at the entrance.

"Ow!" Willie repeated, "Pela!"

"Keep that door steady!" she commanded as she turned to Sharq, "What now?"

Sharq glanced towards the door. "We'll need to start a broadcast. Lalai?"

Lalai perked up. "Yeah? I know a thing or two about the setup."

"Alright!" Sharq cheered as he ran for the staircase, "C'mon, there's no time to waste!"

Lalai nodded and followed suit. The two fled up the flight of stairs and made their way into the studio. The other four Inklings refocused on the door, each one holding their bodies against it.

"Zip, you okay?" Pela asked as she shoved her shoulder against the frame.

Zip's eyelids fluttered. She turned to Pela and nodded. "Yes, yes, I'm fine, just a little…"

She began to sink to the floor slowly. Jellyfish on the other side seemed to notice, and began to slam into the door. Everyone against the door flinched. Willie switched into a squid, bobbed under Zip's arm, and raised both himself and Zip up. With a weak smile, Zip graciously rested her head on his shoulder as they both repositioned themselves in front of the door.

"She's fading fast," Willie explained.

"No, no, I can keep going, I just need…" Zip's eyes began to close.

Dosio eyed the jellyfish on the other side irritably. "What's your problem, huh? We never did much to you besides...hit you...and shoot you."

Dosio glanced away for a split second. "Okay, so maybe we weren't the KINDEST-"

"So," Pela grunted as she shoved against the door again, "While we're here, mind telling me what Sharq's plan is?"

"Sharq's plan?" Dosio grunted, punching one of the invasive tentacles back. "You really wanna know?"

"Is something the matter?" Willie asked.

Dosio punched another jellyfish tentacle. A shock rippled through his body, but Dosio stood tall, and he shoved the tentacle back outside. He hunched over, hands still on the door.

"Aagh!" he screeched, shivering erratically.

"Hey, stay with me!" Pela snapped.

"Cod, Sharq BETTER convince those jellyfish to leave!" Dosio screamed as he clutched his hand.

Pela scowled. "'Convince'?"

"He's going to tell them to screw off! Live television? Squid Sisters?" Dosio explained and thrust his hand towards the studio, "Make sense?"

"Shadey can speak jellyfish? Who'd have thought?" Willie smiled.

Zip muttered something, but her words were muffled by Willie's sleeve. Dosio and Pela froze, and the two of them stared at Willie with the blankest of expressions.

"...What?" Willie inquired nervously.

Pela looked as though she would speak, but then glanced at the door, eyebrows furrowed. "Brace!" Pela called out as she dived away from the door.

Alarmed, Willie carried himself and the unconscious Zip away from the door. Dosio's eyes bugged out as another wave of jellyfish launched themselves at the door. He glanced back, only to catch a glimpse of Pela and her employees taking shelter behind the receptionist's desk. Gritting his teeth, he turned back to the door, and hollered as the wave crashed into the doors.

* * *

Lalai looked up from the cameras. "Did you hear that?"

Sharq stumbled, gripping a nearby chair. "I didn't just hear that. I felt it."

Lalai reached for the camera and readjusted it. All of a sudden, she noticed a large shadow encompass the studio. In front of her, Sharq was fixated and frozen in place, gazing in horror at the window panes. Lalai glanced up at Sharq, gulped, and turned her head to face the windows. She nearly knocked the camera down as she backed away.

Several jellyfish had gathered on the balcony of the Squid Sisters studio. Every single one stared at them eerily, watching. Waiting. Sharq began to sweat bullets under their gaze.

Lalai brushed off her uniform and turned back to the camera. "We need to go. Sharq?"

Sharq nodded. Despite his composure, he shook unsteadily as the door below could be heard being slammed into.

"Alright, um…" Lalai fidgeted with the camera, "We're rolling."

He took one deep breath, mustered a smile, and looked straight at the camera.

* * *

"C'mon! I know this thing has some juice in it."

The Bate household hummed with noise. On the floor laid a remote pointed towards the wall toward the television. The television was silent, but on the floor, the remote clicked and clattered around the floor in a racket.

On top of the remote, Ann-Gel laid on her stomach, a scowl on her face. Reaching for the power button, she pressed it down, then slammed her fist down on it. Sighing, she pushed herself up, hobbled over to the power button, and hopped up and down. Frustration was evident by the look on her face. She hopped, pressing several buttons, but to no avail.

She frowned and stared down at her pedestal. "This would be so much easier if you weren't here."

Ann-Gel stamped down on the middle of the remote. She glanced down at the remote, then up at the television, and swiveled in place. The remote pivoted slowly across the floor, eventually pointing directly towards the T.V. With a grunt, Ann-Gel hopped back onto the power button and eagerly stared at the television. It buzzed, and black and white static flashed across the screen briefly before the broadcast began.

Ann-Gel sighed. "Whew, finally, I was beginning to think I'd never-"

"HellOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Inkopolis!"

"Wah!" Ann-Gel cried out.

She dipped over the side of the remote and landed on the floor with a loud clank. She groaned and rubbed the back of her head sullenly, or at least tried to. Her eyes widened as she stared down at the stump that was her arm. Scowling, Ann-Gel reached back, picked her arm back up, and reattached it to her stump, then stared up at the screen in wonder.

Her eyes widened. "Sharq?"

Ann-Gel stared at the screen, mesmerized. She rubbed her eyes, rubbed them again, and rubbed them one last time until her pupils were unmistakably polished. There, onscreen, was Sharq.

Ann-Gel was locked in a trance with the television. "This can't be real. That's not-"

"This thing on?" Sharq wondered aloud as he tapped the screen, "Hiiiiiii? Inkopolis?"

Ann-Gel nodded slowly, "It's him."

"I think I might've broke it," Sharq stated in embarrassment.

Ann-Gel pursed her lips inquisitively. Flabbergasted, she resigned herself to the floor and sat on her pedestal, using one of the plastic orange ink splotches as an armrest.

"No, it's fine. See the light?" A female voice reassured him.

"Are you sure? I think that was on before." Sharq muttered. He moved closer to the camera and looked it over.

"I'm not...the best with these electronics," the voice replied sheepishly.

Ann-Gel hummed and stared down at the ground, lost in thought for a moment. She was dragged out of her thoughts by a scream. Alerted, she hopped up on her platform and spun to the right.

"Splin?" she called, "Splin!"

Just as she called, Splin sat upright in his bed, eyes wide open. Two bags stretched underneath his eyelids, giving him the impression of someone who had but an hour of sleep. Half of his body rested still underneath his sheets, and his tentacles were each draped over his shoulders, one of them stretched farther than the first. In spite of his ragged appearance, Splin was awake, eyes wide open.

"Hey!" Ann-Gel spoke up with a smile and a wave.

"Holy mackerel," Splin managed to say with a blink, "What just happened?"

"Splin?" Ann-Gel questioned.

Splin blinked again, then stared down at Ann-Gel from his bed. She stared back, just as confused as he was. He squinted suspiciously, switched into a squid, and hopped out of his bed, ditching his sheets. Switching back to an Inkling, he crouched down low and began to make his way to Ann-Gel slowly. She glanced from side to side nervously.

"Shh, stand still," Splin whispered.

She wasn't entirely sure, but Ann-Gel suddenly felt uneasy. As Splin's hand loomed over the trophy ominously, she reeled back her arm and launched it into the palm of his hand. The hit landed, but Splin was unfazed, little more than bewildered.

Splin blinked again and stared down at his hands, then gawked back at Ann-Gel. "Ouch."

"Whwha- What are you doing?" Ann-Gel asked.

Splin's face flushed blue. "I thought I was dreaming again," he sat back on the floor and exhaled in relief, "For a second I thought you were going to grow a second head."

Ann-Gel lowered her fist, placed her hands on her hips, and pursed her lips worriedly. "More bad dreams?"

"Weird ones," Splin admitted as he gazed around the house, "For one, there were a few people I've seen before were standing right over there."

Splin pointed at the empty kitchen.

Splin's hand fell slack as he turned back to his bed. "Then there was the one where I thought I saw Maria and my parents."

"Hmm…" Ann-Gel hummed.

Splin sighed and shook his head, "That's not even the half of it. There was one with Kaz, another one with-"

"Kaz?" Ann-Gel frowned.

Splin shook his head. "Long story, point is, I've been tumbling through dream after dream, and I'm not even sure how to feel anymore."

"Um...alright! I think it's working."

Splin frowned. Slowly, he turned his head towards the television and was greeted by Sharq's eyes staring directly towards him. Immediately, several drops of sweat dripped down his face upon fixating his gaze at the screen.

Ann-Gel frowned, then glanced at Splin. "I know what you're thinking, and no, you're awake."

Sharq cleared his throat. "So uh...I'm here to talk to you today about...um…"

The two Inklings in the house sat on the floor, eager and speechless.

"...Could you jellyfish take a vacation somewhere else?" Sharq asked hopefully.

"What?" Splin and Ann-Gel wondered aloud.

"Sharq…" the voice sighed.

Sharq began to blush. "I'm sorry! I was on television before, but I didn't have to speak, and I don't have something ready, and- Lalai, look behind you!"

The sound of glass shattering could be heard. Sharq was seen diving off-screen just as the feed seemed to shut off. In his place was a broadcasting error screen displaying the Squid Sisters' logos and a set of outdated concert dates. Ann-Gel and Splin stared at the television set with deadpan expressions.

"Alright, looks like I've got my hands full," Splin sighed as he briefly pulled on his shirt, ruffling the material, "Keep an eye on the house while I'm gone, Ann-Gel?"

Splin stretched his arms over his head. He yawned once, then made his way towards the door, strutting along like a reanimated zombie. Ann-Gel continued to stare at the static on the television.

"Um, yeah!" Ann-Gel stated as she snapped back into reality. "Splin?"

Splin straightened himself up, his hand on the doorknob. "Yeah?"

"Be careful, alright?" Ann-Gel smiled hopefully, "I don't want you falling asleep on the news."

Splin cracked a smile. "I think I'll manage. See ya."

He shut the door behind him. Ann-Gel sighed, shook her head, and turned her attention to the screen. She watched the screen hopefully as concert dates drawled on, worry evident on her face. Ann-Gel hobbled her way towards the kitchen, and spied the "Politics for Paralarvae" book.

She hopped next to it, then glanced back at the television. _"Maybe I'm overreacting. If Sharq managed to make it on the news..."_

* * *

Sharq was drowning. He knew he was drowning, and yet he hardly moved a muscle. The gelatinous blue mass surrounded him, encasing him in a motionless bubble.

He glanced to the side. The camera he had spoken to just seconds before was being tossed back and forth by several curious jellyfish. Just above the surface, Sharq saw Lalai's feet kicking. She was already extremely close to the ceiling. All the while, she stared down at Sharq, shouting something, only for it all to get muffled by the flood of jellyfish. Sharq opened his mouth to say something in turn, but found that his words muffled and lost in the jellies as soon as they escaped his mouth. He quickly quieted himself, covering his mouth and nose with his hands.

Sharq turned to his left. The windows were all shattered.. As if they were being sucked by a vacuum, shards of glass flew out from the jelly-filled room, being removed as more and more jellyfish entered. Floating nearby was Willie, who held onto Pela and Zip for dear life. Zip's eyes were shut, and Pela looked pale as she held her breath. Willie stared at Sharq worriedly and silently. Before Sharq could do anything, another swarm of jellyfish floated in, and obscured his view from the others.

From the corner of his eyes, Sharq noticed something that made him flinch. Dosio floated facedown, his goggles drifting nearby. His eyes were shut, and like a ragdoll, he was pulled to and fro by the curious jellyfish. Sharq grunted, and tried to reach for him. Nothing. Sharq's head fell back in defeat. He was stuck in place.

A tentacle reached out and tapped his arm. Sharq turned around and spotted a small jellyfish armed with a camera. The little jellyfish pointed its camera at Sharq. He shook his head, but to no avail. The jellyfish aimed, raised the camera up to its face, and lowered one tentacle to the button. Just as it was about to snap a picture, it stopped, and stared at Sharq. Teary-eyed, Sharq wiped his eyes with his arm as best as he could, and sighed.

Sharq quickly realized that jellyfish wasn't his taste, as his mouth was stung by a passing tentacle. He immediately clamped his hands back over his mouth. _"Bad idea, bad idea."_

Sharq glanced back at the little jellyfish. The little jellyfish stared at him, then tapped his shoulder. Sharq simply sighed and rested his head back on a bigger jellyfish underneath him as the smaller one tapped his shoulder calmly. Sharq resigned himself to lie down on the jellies, slowly but surely losing air. Woozy, Sharq felt his consciousness slip away from him.

" _No, not yet!"_ Sharq thought, struggling to stay awake, _"I still...need to...fix this…"_

Exhausted, Sharq closed his eyes. He went under and began to float up toward the ceiling, though the tentacles fixed him to the floor level. Above him, still watching, Lalai's eyes went wide in a panic. She screamed something, but Sharq was predisposed to being unconscious at the moment.

"Sharq! Sharq!" Lalai called out, but to no avail, "No, no, no no no!"

She attempted to dig through the jellyfish, only to be stung. Lalai pulled her hand back quickly, shook it in back and forth in frustration and glared down at the jellies. Yelping, she reeled back and held her head. She glanced at the ceiling. There was nowhere left up to go. Taking a deep breath, she stared down at the jellyfish and dove into the mass.

Hazards flew by like undersea mines. Yellow and orange jellyfish buzzed, whipping their tentacles haphazardly through the gelatinous concentration. Switching to squid form, Lalai pushed against the jellyfish, fighting as hard as she could, narrowly ducking under the paralyzing whips. Swiveling through the jellyfish, she closed in on Sharq, floating helplessly and unconsciously, stuck in the clutches of the squishy jellyfish prison. Lalai grunted, and wriggled through, inching closer and closer to him.

" _Hang in there, Sharq!"_ Lalai thought, her descent slowing to a sluggish crawl, _"Help is on…"_

Lalai froze in place. Squinting, she peered to the window. Although the frame was near impossible to look through, she could make out something shining on the other side. Confused but determined, she began to make her way towards Sharq again, when she heard something. There was a crackle, then an electronic buzz. Sets of blue lines pointed in a cone, as if like magic, appeared and pierced through the jellies. Lalai's eyes went wide, and with all her might, she propelled herself away from the sound and covered her ears with her tentacles.

* * *

"You're sure you're feeling alright, Jelonzo?" Splin asked.

Splin ducked. Over his head, two more jellyfish flew by. Carefully holding on to the guard railing with one hand, he aimed a ginormous gray megaphone with the other straight at the Squid Sisters' studio. In front of him, the studio's glass was shattered, and the insides were packed like a box full of jellyfish, who appeared as though they were on the verge of spilling out. Camera flashes, like lightning, flashed off within the cloud.

In front of him stood Jelonzo, cap tilted to the side. "The head is still aching, but my tentacles still are doing working!"

Jelonzo's tentacles were "working" extraordinarily well. All available tendrils the shopkeeper could muster were busy. As jellyfish approached from the side of the catwalk, Jelonzo would slap them down into piles in the plaza. Like a cyclone, Jelonzo's tentacles spun in a circle, ensuring that the catwalk they stood on was as clear as it could be.

"Ready?" Jelonzo asked as he turned to Splin.

Splin scowled. "...Yeah?"

He eyed the round bump on Jelonzo's head with discomfort. It wriggled as if it were trying to escape. Jelonzo suddenly noticed the odd stare, glanced up, then quickly readjusted his hat so that it covered the oversized bump.

Splin turned back to the studio. "Forget I said anything."

"Fire at away!" Jelonzo called out.

Splin took aim straight at the studio and flicked a switch on the ginormous megaphone. The speaker buzzed to life, humming a tune. The jellyfish in the studio suddenly began to writhe, disturbed by the sound. Then came the uproar.

Splin had to duck to avoid the dozens of jellyfish that flooded out of the studio. He glanced up for a split second, then ducked back down again, narrowly avoiding decapitation by a tentacle. Overhead, one of the jellyfish managed to snap a photo, just before spilling into the plaza with the rest of them. As the Killer Wail finished its destructive spree, it vanished into thin air.

"Quick! Through the window!" Jelonzo called, the pointed back at the floor of the plaza, "This is overflowing speedily!"

The plaza's levels of jellyfish began to take on new heights. A few of the jellyfish even attempted to jump to the catwalk in desperation, only to slip and fall back down and over themselves. Acting speedily, Splin and Jelonzo leaped through the empty window frame and into the studio.

"Splin!"

He perked up at the mention of his name. As he got up, Splin looked around the messy studio. A set of chairs and a table were overturned. Cameras and equipment laid on the floor, a few with damaged or shattered lenses. Phones littered the floor like playing cards, all with extremely blurry pictures displayed on the screens. In the middle of it all, there sat his brother, utterly unconscious.

"Sharq," Splin managed breathlessly.

Sitting beside him was Lalai, along with Pela and Willie. Sprawled out in Willie's arms was a resting Zip, who, despite the chaos, managed to look as presentable as possible. Her waitress attire was only mildly ruffled, and she breathed softly with surprise still in her eyes. On the other hand, Willie and Pela's chef uniforms they wore were dusted with dirt and ink stains. Lalai was trying her best, fanning Sharq's face.

Splin walked over, crouched down, and slowly reached his hand and touched the back of it to Sharq's forehead. "Hey."

"He's been out cold," Lalai explained, "A tentacle shocked him, and he ran out of breath a few minutes ago."

Splin furrowed his brow. He simply continued to stare at the knocked out Sharq, hand still on his brother's forehead.

"Hey, don't think you guys realized, but the jellyfish are coming back."

Everyone but Splin turned to the window. Sitting just behind the frame of it, Dosio looked on in displeasure at the horde of dizzy, angry, and outright confused jellyfish advancing back on the studio, phone cameras in their hand. Willie, Pela, and Lalai got up to their feet and stood defensively in front of the others with whatever they had their hands with.

Wielding a spoon and a pan respectively, Willie and Pela raised the weapons, ready to smack any of them that got too close. Lalai frowned, took one look back at the two brothers, and retrieved her Splat Charger and aimed.

"Sharq, come on," Splin murmured, gently shaking his brother back and forth, "We've gotta save the city again. Sharq."

Shots began to ring out. The Inklings jumped to the side, dodging messy Splattershot fire back and forth.

"Either you're getting up, or I'm going to make you!" Splin shouted, "Sharq. Sharq! Sharq- Oh, Cod's sake!"

With a prolonged sigh, Splin switched into squid form and pushed his tentacle inside the back of Sharq's White Anchor Tee. He leaped to the side and tugged himself and his brother out of the line of fire. Ink of all types of colors began to stain the floor of the studio. Splin dragged himself and his brother behind a table flipped on its side and ducked behind it as securely as he could.

"Sharq!" Splin shouted again as he dodged a cell phone, "Shaaaaaaaaaaarq!"

* * *

"Yes?" Sharq piped up.

Pirah adjusted her Black Arrowbands, crossed one leg over the other, and grinned sheepishly at him. "So, how have you been?"

Sharq glanced around the landscape. It was dark, foreboding, and extraordinarily empty. Besides him and his mother, Sharq could hardly make out anything else in the blackness. It was just that, dark. Despite that, when he turned to stare at Pirah, he could see her in complete clarity as if there were a miniature sun just floating above her.

"Splin and I have been good," Sharq nodded, only to adopt a worried expression, "How about you?"

Pirah lowered herself and sat down on the ground. "We've been fine, although I'm convinced your father's got us lost again."

"...Dad?" Sharq arched an eyebrow and glanced around.

"Don't listen to her, she's crazy."

Sharq turned around in clear confusion. He squinted, peering out at the flat black texture that the entire world had taken on. As if by magic, Phish suddenly popped into the picture, walking in slowly. Sharq could only blink in confusion as he walked by while he fiddled with his tie until he managed to take a seat right besides him.

"So, how's the house? Break anything?" Phish asked with a sigh.

Sharq stared in complete awestruck silence at his father, mouth agape.

"Phish," Pirah scolded as she reached Sharq's back and slapped Phish's back.

Phish literally shrugged the blow off. "I'm just curious...You've been checking the generators, haven't you?"

"We have generators?" Sharq blinked in confusion.

"And back to the journey at hand," Phish sighed and stood up hastily, "Hopefully we can get back before anything else goes wrong."

"Phiiiiish," Pirah whined, "Your son's happy to see you for the first time in years."

"...Hi, Sharq," Phish managed to say with a wave, "C'mon Pirah, we're wasting time."

As Phish moved, his visage flickered as though he were a reflection. Before he could walk away, Pirah scowled, leaped up, and jumped on his back. Gravity aiding her, she pulled herself and Phish back, landing directly in front of Sharq. She laughed, while Phish's distorted picture simply had an exhausted, trying-as-hard-as-possible-not-to-smile face.

"You're such a pain," Phish murmured as he shook his head, "Sharq, tell her to get off."

Pirah giggled, and Sharq could not help but laugh as well, "No, no, tell him-"

Suddenly, Sharq's vision flickered, and the entire world began to ripple back and forth. It was mostly all black though, so it was still only a small percentage of weird, like...0.00000305123781325921%, but even that-

"Voice? I- Okay, oh geez... That's dizzy." Sharq complained, "Wait…"

Pirah gasped, reached out for Sharq, and clasped his hand. "Oh no, no no no. Phish, how much time do we have?"

"Not much," Phish murmured as he managed to stand, "Listen, Sharq. We may not be home for a long time. ...Even longer than usual."

"But why?" Sharq slurred with a frown, "Why for so long?"

Even though his face was warped and distorted, Sharq could still notice a noticeable frown on Phish's face. "It's difficult to explain. I'm sorry, Sharq, but you're just gonna have to wait."

"But-"

"Your father's...right," Pirah struggled to say, "But we'll be home soon."

"But how soon? When?"

"Soonish," Phish muttered.

Sharq's ears dipped. "Oh...okay..."

As he asked, their visages flickered again, neither one of them happy with the interruption either. Sharq's hearts sank. He felt himself drift away. As his vision blurred and his parents began to fuse back with the black background, Pirah reached her hand out and caressed his face, her fingers soft to the touch, but cold as a stone.

"Wait," Sharq reached one hand out, fighting the exhaustion, "What am I going to say?"

The two of his parents gawked at him in surprise. For a brief moment, Sharq could spy them turned to each other.

Pirah simply turned, smiled, and replied, "You've got this."

Phish gave a silent nod. Sharq's eyes shut just after he managed to make a smile. As he faded away into the darkness, the two parents glanced at each other.

"He's got this," Pirah repeated and nudged him.

Phish scoffed, "Pirah, I wasn't doubting him at all."

Pirah grinned back, then evaporated into nothing.

* * *

"Ow!"

The first thing that Sharq was greeted by upon regaining consciousness was a headbutt. He reeled back, holding his forehead with his right hand sorely. As he rubbed the new mark on his face, he cocked one eye open dizzily, and was greeted with an audience of jellyfish, Inklings, and a similarly disturbed Splin.

"Splin!" Sharq perked up.

Sharq stood up and reached out to his brother, then stopped, uncertain. Splin, rubbing his forehead, glared back up at his brother peculiarly and irritated. Cautiously, Sharq reached forward and gave Splin a quick tap on the shoulder.

Splin took his hand and pulled him closer. "You couldn't have woken up in a less violent way?"

Sharq just sighed in relief and pulled his brother in for a hug. "I'm just glad you're- Why are there so many jellyfish outside?"

Splin and Sharq paused. Sharq let go of Splin and stared out the window, mixed between fear and surprise. Standing guard at the frame, Lalai and Pela held their weapons cautiously at the cube of jellyfish that had assembled just outside the window. On the floor, a concerned Willie kneeled by Zip's side, who laid on the wall, clearly exhausted but awake.

Dosio, unarmed, simply raised his fists at the jellyfish. "He's awake, thank Cod, get on with it!"

"Alright, let's finish this so that we can all go home," Splin told Sharq, spinning him around, "Jelonzo's been waiting for a minute."

"Wha?" Sharq blinked in confusion.

Sharq gasped in surprise. Standing up straight in the middle of the studio, Jelonzo was waiting, several cameras and other microphone equipment readjusted to face the center, where a spotlight shone down on the jellyfish shopkeeper. Splin let Sharq go, gave him a short push, and gestured to the spotlight.

"Well?" Splin asked aloud, "Are you going to do something, or are you just going to let those jellyfish come in and drown us all?"

"Okay, alright, you're right!" Sharq pumped up his fists, "I'll...wait…"

Sharq lowered his arms. "I can't speak to the jellyfish though."

Splin gave him another short push. "Gotcha covered. Jelonzo?"

"I will be doing the translating," Jelonzo bowed respectfully, one tentacle keeping his hat from falling, "You will be talking, yes?"

Sharq's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yes!" shouted everyone in the studio, "Go for it!"

"Okay...okay!" Sharq pumped his fist up, "I'll do it!"

As one approached, phone camera in hand, Lalai shot a jellyfish off the side of the catwalk, turned, and shot a smile. "That's the spirit!"

Speedily, Sharq ran up into the spotlight, straightened himself out, and stared into the camera. "Hey!"

"Bloop!" Jelonzo repeated and raised his tentacles in the air.

The jellyfish encroaching on the studio's boundaries stopped in place. Confused, they stared straight forward, fixated on Sharq and Jelonzo. One of Jelonzo's tentacles snaked away, flicked a switch, and drowned the studio in darkness, with nothing else but the spotlight and the sunlight to illuminate the room.

"...Was that really necessary to translate?" Splin muttered with a scowl as he watched.

Sharq took a deep breath, as did Jelonzo, whose body rippled. "Listen…"

"Bloop…" Jelonzo squeaked, lowering his tentacles gently.

"I understand it must be really cool. This is Inkopolis, home of the Turf Wars, and anyone would want to come and visit," Sharq murmured as he twiddled his fingers.

"Bloopity bloop," Jelonzo squeaked as he slapped his tentacles together loudly.

"But you guys have made it impossible for us to have fun here anymore," Sharq piped up, "There's a lot of people here who love playing in Turf Wars, cherish them even. A lot of people also depend on them."

Sharq glanced across the room. Standing rigidly still, Dosio stood nearby the jellyfish, almost as if he and the jellies were locked in a trance. Jelonzo continued to flap his tentacles around, then poked Sharq on the shoulder and pointed back to the camera. Sharq nodded, cleared his throat, and continued.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not working out for everyone. We all want to play, and we can't do that if all you jellyfish keep clogging the plaza, the stages, the streets, the restaurants, the-"

Jelonzo turned to Sharq and gave him an exasperated eye.

Sharq rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry. My point is, we need space. We need a bit of...organization, you know? We want to play unhindered. We love Inkopolis, and its Turf Wars. Can you offer us that?"

Jelonzo nodded and daintily spun his tentacles in the air as if they were ribbons. He "blooped", and "blurrbled", each and every jellyfish holding onto his words as they were translated. The jellyfish with angry eyebrows (and angry smudges) wiped off the ink from their heads, retrieved markers, and redrew their eyebrows, all arched down sadly.

Sharq smiled hopefully. "Please?"

Jelonzo nodded. "Bloop?"

The jellyfish stared at the lot of Inklings and Jelonzo sadly. They stared, and stared...and…

"Um…" Sharq frowned and turned to Jelonzo, "Did I not-"

Before he could finish that sentence, Sharq dropped to his knees. Jelonzo jiggled violently. All of the others attempted to find something to hold onto. Surging away from the windows, the jellyfish stamped shook the earth. The cameras that had been re-positioned immediately fell back down on the floor. Crawling on his knees, Sharq made his way to the window, and gazed out at the plaza.

"...We did it," Sharq stated simply.

The other Inklings perked up. As the rumbling of the earth stopped, everyone stood (and sat) in place, still gazing outside at the plaza. Despite the several discarded phones, the shattered glass, and the ink left on the floor, the plaza was once again clear. There were hardly any jellyfish, aside from a few stragglers, but far from the ocean there once was. Sharq began to smile, while everyone else-

"What the ship?" Dosio piped up, "That **worked?** "

"Yep," Splin nodded as he leaned on the wall, "Sure did. Great job, Sharq."

"Hooraaaaaaaay!" Sharq cheered as he jumped in the air, "I...did it?"

Slowly, Sharq levitated back to the ground, a confused expression on his face. With a scowl, he glanced back to Jelonzo and squinted his eyes.

"Didn't think they'd actually get the message that fast, but okay?" Sharq questioned aloud and glanced to Jelonzo, "That really worked?"

"...You didn't think it would work either?" Lalia piped up.

Sharq laughed nervously. "I wasn't a hundred percent sure, but…"

Jelonzo tapped his tentacles together. "You have speech, and you deliver it okay, yes. Jellyfish stubborn. Needed extra of motivation."

"Motivation? You mean Sharq's speech didn't actually get through to them?" Dosio spoke up.

Everyone turned to Jelonzo in the studio, each one curious. The jellyfish shopkeeper raised one tentacle to his...mouth to cover his...cough.

"I may have added 'sweetness' to the deal," Jelonzo muttered under his breath.

* * *

Under the midday Inkopolis sun, one elderly crab brushed the sweat off of his eyestalks and leaned on top of a construction barricade in exhaustion, lightly tugging his overalls. He wrinkled his eyes, then turned and gazed out. One of his claws opened to drop a hammer onto the floor, where it fell with a dull clank.

"Finally," the crab wheezed, "We're finally done, Blorris."

A jellyfish wearing a hardhat walked up next to the crab and leaned on the same barricade, responding with, "Bloop."

In front of them laid Inkopolis Square, the newest, hottest spot for Turf Wars! The middle of the square was decked out with both asphalt and concrete, marked with white crosswalks. Large rectangular buildings decorated with statues, flyers, and ginormous television screens surrounded the square. To top it all off, not far ahead was a skyscraping tower, decked out with screens and billboards, stretching tall and proud.

The crab sneezed but kept on a proud smile. "Fine piece of work, ain't it?"

"Bloopity bleep," the jellyfish nodded, as it launched the contents of the cup into its own face.

The drink slid off the top of its dome and dripped to the floor.

"...I don't know why you keep bringing drinks to work if you just waste 'em," the crab shook his head as he began to scuttle away, "Welp, we're done for the day anyway, so you can-"

The crab froze in place, eyes bugged out. Behind him stood...several fences. And behind those several fences were thousands of jellyfish, most of which looked beyond sad with their downturned eyebrows.

"Eeh…?" the crab scratched its head as it turned back to Blorris, "Didya invite them?"

Before Blorris could reply, every single jellyfish rushed forward, knocked down the fences, and swarmed the new square. Both the crab and Blorris screamed and dashed for the tower, only to trip over the hammer that fell on the ground moments prior. The both of them were carried away in the current of jellyfish, yelling profanities hysterically.

* * *

"So then…" Dosio blinked and stared out at the plaza, "We're done. That was it?"

Splin nodded, "Seems like it..."

At the tone, the restaurant employees practically collapsed on top of each other, and each one of them let out a collective sigh. Alarmed, Lalai ran up to her sister and crouched down beside her.

"Pela," Lalai whispered, "You okay?"

"My back aches, my arms burn, and I'm pretty sure they nailed me in the side," Pela groaned, much to Lalai's worry, "But since I'm here, and we're finally done with all of this…"

"Yes?"

"Can we talk about that expedition?"

Lalai gave a curtsy and a smile then jumped out the window. As she cleared the gap, she shouted, "I'm glad you're fine, thanks!"

Sharq perked up and shouted at her, "Thanks for helping me Lalai!"

Lalai nodded as she landed on the catwalk. "Splin, we've gotta exchange stories again sometime!"

"Uh huh," Splin replied with a nod as he backed away from the pile.

Pela growled, "Oh you- Get back here!"

Poor Willie and Zip were thrust to the side like sacks of potatoes as Pela lifted herself up and leaped up out the window, following close behind her sister. The others dodged to the side. Willie grunted as he and Zip hit the back wall, and with a grunt, Willie picked himself and Zip up quickly, turned to the window, and sighed.

"We'll just...take the stairs," he suggested with a shake of his head, "What a day."

"Are you...was that really it?" Dosio repeated, then scanned the area, "Seriously?"

Zip gave a polite nod and wave. "Thanks, Sharq, we gotta go before Pela runs herself ragged."

Sharq beamed and waved to the two of them as they limped away. Dosio watched, flabbergasted, and Splin simply turned to Jelonzo and walked up to the jellyfish shopkeeper, who had readjusted his cap yet again. The large, round bump on his head was gone.

"Huh," Splin commented as he looked him over, "You feeling better?"

Jelonzo perked up, spun his cap on his head, and lit up. "Yes!"

Splin nodded. "Uh, thanks for helping us out, Jelonzo."

"Welcomes be to you!" Jelonzo tipped his hat.

"Aaaaugh!" The three Inkling boys yelped.

Jelonzo squinted, then stared up at his own head. Perched on top of Jelonzo's head was a tiny jellyfish, sitting lackadaisical and content. For a moment, the room was silent as everyone stared at the strange, small jellyfish.

The jellyfish then raised itself up, took Jelonzo's hat, and tipped it over its own small body. "Good morrow," it replied.

Jelonzo blinked, glanced at the rest of the three Inklings, then replaced his hat, covering the small jellyfish. "I will go home now."

Jelonzo then slinked off through the studio and jumped out the window. The three of them watched, grasping for words. After some deliberation, Dosio managed to find one.

"What?" Dosio asked aloud.

Splin sighed, stretched his arms, and nodded. "I think on that note, we should go home."

Sharq perked up. "What? Really? What about the Turf Wars?"

Splin shrugged and stated, "Inkopolis Square should open up soon, don't worry about it. Besides, I just realized I'm still exhausted."

Sharq pouted as he watched Splin wave and leave. "You didn't even do that much!"

As Sharq started to follow, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He spun around quickly to face Dosio, who quickly removed his Splash Goggles and left them dangled around his neck.

"I uh…" Dosio rubbed his arm, "So, you're going?"

Sharq glanced over at Splin, then turned back and smiled. "I guess! See ya!"

"Ah," Dosio muttered as Sharq turned to leave, "Alright, uh, well...thanks."

Sharq perked up almost immediately and spun around again. "Uh-huh!"

Dosio frowned. "Even if it was mostly Jelonzo you uh...you did do it, Sharq. Thanks for that."

Sharq's face lit up, and Dosio turned towards the tower and readjusted his goggles around his face. Dosio took one step towards the window and was just about to jump outside, but was left in the dust as someone zoomed past him.

"Race you there!" Sharq called gleefully as he jumped.

"Oh, c'mon! I thought you were going home!" Dosio complained but leaped out after him regardless.

Sharq laughed as they both flew out the studio. Still standing inside, Splin watched as they dipped over the edge of the catwalk. He heard two consecutive thumps, then more raucous laughter, and watched as the two of them sprinted for the tower in the distance, becoming smaller and smaller as they went.

"Welp, there it is," Splin uttered, yawned and stretched his arms, "Another happy ending."

Pretty much.

Splin glanced up at the ceiling. "Can I get a break now?"

You've had a break for months now.

"It's only been a few days," Splin remarked, "I think?"

Eh.

Splin sighed and stared at the ceiling. "We're just going to go on another fantastical adventure sometime later, aren't we?"

Maybe.

Splin shook his head and turned to the stairs. "You're driving me insane, voice."

That's what they tend to do.

Splin shook his head and descended the stairs, placed his headphones over his ears and made his way out of the studio. He whistled as he stepped out into the disaster area that was Inkopolis' streets, filled with cellphones, markers, and puddles of ink that were already vanishing. Splin simply switched to a squid, pointed at the sky, and prepared to jump.

"I swear. If next week we have to jump dimensions…" Splin grumbled.

...No?

Splin shook his head and jumped up into the air with a burst of ink, scattering markers and cell phones away. All the way home, he spiraled through the air, shooting through the clouds.

* * *

AN: Eh.

Thanks R.C.D. for reviewing. I can't actually answer that question with good faith. What is romance?

I dunno lol

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, remember to always never not trust everyone and anyone. See ya.


	86. How to Write The Brothers and the Others

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **How to Write The Brothers and the Others (And Other Such Drivel)**

Happy Easter! Let me be the one and only person to say: Congratulations! You have read through all the prior chapters of The Brothers and the Others and The Bate Brothers! Either that or you skipped to this chapter by accident. If it's the first scenario, then good, you may continue, but if it's the second scenario, then you'll need to read all one-hundred-plus chapters of the previous stories first and the several spin-offs. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Alright, you're back! ...Well, obviously. I wasn't actually expecting you to read all that in all honesty.

So, what's up with this chapter? Where're the characters? Where's the wit? Where's the story? My dear readers, as a part of Easter 2018, which is totally not caused by other outside factors whatsoever, I, Voice, am here to learn you how to write a famous-

Eh, semi-famous-

Okay, moderately well-received-

...A fanfic.

But not just any fanfic, but an entire series! That's right, for the low price of several minutes of your time, you too can learn how to create a fanfiction series that will inadvertently be forgotten. "But Voice," you may ask, "This sounds like a cop-out. Why don't you just write?" Well, like many great questions in life, this one has a great answer to it!

I'm lazy and bored with writing.

...So without further ado, let's get started!

* * *

Part 1: The Basics

Now, in terms of fanfiction, world building is probably the easiest part. In order to demonstrate this, imagine...say a blender. To demonstrate my point, I will now use a literary device known as "allegories", an extinct form of storytelling.

* * *

Willie frowned as he inspected the notepad. Truth be told, this was his fourth time checking, and even then he was unsure if what was written on the paper was really there.

"Ziiiiiip?" Willie called.

On the opposite side of the kitchen, the door to the front of the restaurant swung open. Wiping her forehead with a white handkerchief, Zip glanced over at her boyfriend curiously. Willie motioned for her to come over with his nose still buried deep in the written notes. Zip rolled her eyes, stored the handkerchief away in her pants' pocket and strode over. She stopped behind Willie and stared down at the notes.

"Yeah, no, that's right," Zip insinuated and tapped the pad of paper with her finger.

Willie's eyes expanded exponentially. "What? Seriously?"

"That's what they ordered," Zip explained with a nod, moving her finger down the list, "All of the things on here are included."

"In one dish?" Willie questioned, scrunched his face, and scratched the back of his head.

Zip arched an eyebrow, shook her head, and tapped lower on the pad. "Not exactly what I'd call a 'dish'?"

Willie squinted, only to reel back from the paper in disgust. "Oh, gee."

"Get peeling, sweetums," Zip joked and slapped him on the back, "We're done for the day after this order."

Willie frowned and looked up. "'Sweetums'?"

When he looked up, Willie noticed the kitchen door swinging with no one else in sight. Scowling, Willie returned to the list. Eyes glued to the pad, he shuffled over to a nearby counter, reached under, and pulled up an electronic blender. Setting it on the table with one hand, Willie made his way over to the refrigerator in the back of the room, reached for the handle, and pulled it open. As he stowed the paper away, Willie reached into the fridge…

And pulled out everything.

* * *

Fanfiction starts with a world. Usually, these types of worlds are unique and interesting, and...copyrighted...but you want to make your own little slice of it. And hopefully not try to make a dime off of it.

* * *

"Alright, just...get in there!" Willie exclaimed as he forced a piece of frozen pizza into the blender.

The pizza made a "slorsh" noise as it sunk to the depths of the blender, along with cheddar, clam shells, garlic bread, three-layered cake, and muffins also stacked inside. Willie pulled the blender lid from the table and slammed it down on the top of the blender. He grunted as he shoved down on it time and time again while the clearly godly pizza refused to join the ranks of the other foods.

"Hyaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Willie screamed and swung the lid down on the blender with all his might.

The glass container immediately shattered. The foods spilled onto the table, each one now decorated with fresh glass shard toppings. Willie scowled and slammed his fist down on the table in frustration.

"Ouch!" Willie whined, eying his cut hand, "Clam it!"

Willie removed the clam from his flesh and nursed his thumb. At that moment, Zip walked back into the room, stopped mid-strut, and stared at Willie. Willie's face lit up with an orange tint as he stowed his hand behind his back and smiled sweetly at Zip. She frowned and rolled her eyes.

"Just stuff everything together and get out here," Zip replied as she began to walk back to the door.

* * *

Did you get it? Sometimes in life, you put too much effort into something, and it just breaks.

...Okay, that's not the moral, but it doesn't really matter.

* * *

 **Part Two: Consistency**

What a lot of people don't realize that in fiction, details are just as important as in real life. Finding the contradictions is important. After all, Phoenix Wright showed us that, and that is real life in terms of court. So, how about another allegory?

* * *

"Attention my loyal Ari-deemables!" Ari called to the heavens.

Almost immediately, Ari staggered and waved his arms out for balance. Yelling out from the top of the Inkopolis Plaza catwalk, he took one quick step back and fell on the floor from the railing. Cheeks flushed, Ari hopped back on the railing and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment(also because he landed on it but he didn't want to admit that to anyone).

In front of him, all three of his pals, Sari, Rit, and Bas sat on the floor, each one of them beaming up at him eagerly. Sari gave him a reassuring nod whereas Rit and Bas simultaneously grasped their hands together and waited for his decree.

"Right, with all of the people I've gathered, we're sure to get revenge on those meddling brothers for humiliating us!" Ari declared, "Splin and Sharq will pay!"

"You know their names?' Rit asked and tipped her finger on her chin as she gave him a curious expression.

Ari laughed and placed his hands on his hips. "Of course, I've got a fantastic memory."

"That's our leader!" Bas screamed giddily.

Sari smiled slightly, rubbing her arm. "You're ready to go, huh?"

Ari nodded and punched his fist into the sky. "Alright! Team Ari, let's go...watch other people beat them up for us!"

"Yeah!" Everyone cheered.

* * *

~Two years and a few months later~

* * *

I, Ari, have felt something I haven't felt in a long time. I've always been the star of the show, in the limelight, surrounded by fans. By friends. Today, however, that's changed. Something's different. Something's gone. Something very dear to me.

Ari looked up from the table and sighed. He laid the pen down on the table next to the inkwell, the stacks of paper, and the cup full of pens. Looking around the restaurant, he sighed again for dramatic effect. Then sighed again.

Tip: Readers never get tired of using the same verb over and over again in writing.

"Dude," Ari heard someone say, "What's up with you?"

Ari glanced behind him for a moment. There stood Zip, hands held behind her back, a concerned expression on her face.

"Right now, I'd say the momentous, crippling weight of loneliness is," Ari stated and swooned on the table, knocking over the inkwell. The puddle dripped onto the page and shaped itself into a perfect broken heart.

Zip bit the top of her lip. "...Wow. Um, okay."

The two stood/sat in silence for a good minute until Zip cleared her throat. "Your order's almost ready."

"Mmmmmmmmmmm-hm," Ari affirmed and dropped his face into the ink.

Zip shook her head. All of a sudden, a shattering noise pierced the silence of the restaurant. Zip pursed her lips, glanced back at Ari, and made her way toward the kitchen.

* * *

Part 3: Uhhhhhhhhh

Honestly, those were the only two tips I had. I'm not even sure they were properly conveyed or really good tips. Heck, I'm pretty sure they weren't really tips.

This is the part where you just sorta start writing and-

Oh! Wait, wait wait wait, I just remembered one more thing. Make sure to end each chapter off on a really anticlimactic ending that readers will LOVE. Isn't that right, reader?

* * *

Splin looked up at the ceiling and scowled. "What?"

* * *

AN: As a serious note, you should probably treat your readers with respect. After all, they're people taking time out of their lives to waste on your fanfiction!

Thanks, Guests for reviewing. I wasn't sure if making you hate jellyfish was exactly what I tried to do, but sure? I'm glad I inspired you?

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle.

And Happy April Fools.


	87. My Best Friend and Ex-Friend (Chi Final)

**Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others**

 **My Best Friend and My Ex-Friend**

Chi woke up choking on a pebble. She coughed the rock out as she came to, blinked the soot out of her eyes and stared up at the ceiling in a daze. The cave ceiling above her was cracked, split into pieces, and crumbling apart as she looked on. Stalactites dislodged from the ceiling and shattered on the cavern floor as the world shook around her. Pumice shrouded the world in dark shades of brown, black and gray. Her gut felt like it was about to melt, but between the aching in her side and with the blurriness in her vision, it was difficult to concentrate on what hurt the most.

She settled on a compromise and decided to groan out in anguish.

"Chi? Chi!" A familiar voice squeaked.

Wordless, Chi let her head fall to her side as she tried to make out the figure standing upright above her. As her noggin hit the floor, she realized two things: one, she was still stuck inside of the cave. Two, falling on the cave floor hurt, and immediately clamped her hands onto her head with another pained groan.

The voice grew increasingly concerned. "No, no, no, no, no! Wake up! Chi, don't go! Wake up!"

Chi's eyes rolled back. "Ugh…"

"Oh no!" she heard, "I… Um… Oh! Don't make me do this!"

Chi continued to lay on the ground as vibrations from the rocks trembled through the floor. Her vision shook and bounced all around in a dizzying, nauseous spiral. She shut her eyes, hoping it might all clear soon.

Instead, she felt something splash on her face. She recoiled, spit and blew while she wiped her face off. As she did, she felt her head threaten to split in two. Chi clutched her head and screamed.

"Sorry, sorry!" Jerry apologized as he nudged her, "We gotta go!"

"Guh…" Chi blubbered as she attempted to stand.

Chi fought the urge to vomit as she pushed up from the ground. Jerry propped her up as best as he could. The two of them wobbled as they walked up through the deteriorating cavern. Despite the stalactites raining down like hail, they barely dodged any of the falling rocks. Every step Chi took felt like her feet were made of pencil lead and shattered her leg with each step. Jerry's new role as her makeshift cane was difficult, as he would slip every so often on his skinny legs.

"Times like this makes me wish they gave me treads." Jerry struggled, almost tripping over a rock.

Chi responded with a meek whimper. They neared the cave exit, where the blinding light began to make Chi's head swim. Quickly, Chi took one step forward and gave a cursory glance back to the caverns behind them. Scrutinizing the darkness, she could barely make out two figures behind them.

"Chi! Dear, you're stumbling! Come back!" Winst's voice crooned after her.

Chi's head cleared up a smidge. Lightheaded, loopy, and barely able to stand up straight, Chi made a face. She built up sludge in her mouth, spat on the ground behind them, and picked up Jerry.

Chi began to run. "Not on my life will I ever come back," she whispered under her breath.

In spite of the chaos, the quiet mutter, and otherwise, the voice just cackled. "Lovely idea!"

Chi's eyes widened. Despite her condition, she sped up, faster and faster. As she approached the exit, she jumped, clawing at the light desperately.

Chi stood up straight and breathed in the air of the valley. She blinked and stared out from the cave into the light. The valley's rocks were jagged with smooth surfaces. Glancing to the right, she looked over the gigantic drop below. As she took a step forward, her boot scattered a few pebbles, several of which careened over the edge of the great cliff into the abyss. If she slipped, she would fall and most certainly never be seen again.

* * *

She looked down at her clothes. Instead of the familiar feel of the strict uniforms of the Octarians, she wore a lighter vest, the Amphio Alliance's insignia stitched upon it, a silhouette of Octavio's face crossed over by a "no symbol". It was light, had a soft, plush fabric, and felt more free and breathable than the Octarian army's standard gear.

It was about the most comfortable thing about her set of circumstances.

Below the waist, she carried two weapons. A small, metallic pistol with a minuscule canister was strapped to her belt. Next to the gun was a minuscule device, with nothing but a small red button fastened with duct tape attached to the front. The only label on the object read "For finishing the job", haphazardly written with some kind of marker. One small heart was added just after "job".

Chi gulped and let her arms droop to her sides, taking care not to hit the button on her waist by accident. Far be it from her to find out what it did. Taking a deep breath, she made her way across the rocky wall of the valley, slowly and carefully. She walked for quite some time, with nothing but deep blue sky and brown rocks for several minutes.

Eventually, after a few minutes, she spotted it. In the distance, not far from the ginormous rock octopus of the valley, was a small cabin. Just a small innocent cabin. Despite its harmless appearance, Chi was sweating bullets just getting closer. Crouching down low, she shrunk down into her octopus form. She slinked around the rocks, curling behind boulders and squeezing between the rocks.

She shifted back into Octoling form at the door. Taking the little gun in both her hands, she approached the shack carefully, inspecting it. The walls were weathered and the door had cracks within it.

Chi raised her foot up and kicked the door down. She charged in, swift yet quiet, and aimed her weapon forward, eyeing the interior of the shack. Furniture, dimmed lights, and that was that. It was a homely yet lacking abode. Chi blinked, lowered her weapon slightly, and took one cautious step forward.

"Let you in on a little secret," a woman's voice whispered in her ear, "You would've had a much better chance if you knocked first."

Startled, Chi fired almost instantaneously.

* * *

Struggling underneath the Octoling, Jerry tried his best to run. However, he soon realized Octocopters and rocks did not mix well. His ski-like legs continued to scrape at the rocks instead of standing on them, so half the time he was "walking", he was actually squirming like a worm over the rocks.

"Ow!" Jerry yelped.

"Nngh! Chi murmured in a slur.

Almost like the cherry literally on top of Jerry, carrying Chi was the pinnacle of difficulty. Every now and again she would fade in and out of consciousness. Sometimes she would wake up kicking and screaming, and other times she would hold Jerry close and snuggle him as if he were a teddy bear on stilts. Jerry was either suffocated by Chi's smothering or struggling to hold her up while being battered, and either way, he was certainly going to wake up sore in the morning.

The cherry on top of the cherry on top would also scream after them occasionally, "You can't run forever Chi!"

"She's not even awake," Jerry muttered under his breath, struggling to move up the rocks, "C'mon Chi! It's right there!"

"Uuuhhhh," she replied in a low groan, "Tai...Tai…"

Jerry frowned, turned his head and took a quick glance behind himself. The ground below him was already trembling. More rocks and rock fragments crumbled or tumbled off the side of the cliff face down into the pit of the valley, and as Jerry tried to compose himself, a ginormous rock spire erupted from the rocky terrain and embedded itself not too far from his head.

Jerry made a noise like that of a car horn underwater. Lifting Chi up onto his head as best he could, he pushed her forward, practically dragging her across the ground. Despite his best efforts, his nudges only pushed her so far. It also scratched and dirtied her face, which Jerry definitely was not looking forward to explaining when she woke up. In spite of the progress he was making, he was certainly getting closer and closer, albeit very slowly. Closer and closer they approached the shack, with Jerry straining himself as much as he could even just to move a few steps.

"Where do you think you're crawling to?"

Jerry spun around on his side. Before he could even attempt to dodge, he felt a pressure on his metallic legs. He screamed as he watched as his legs were ripped away from him. Towering above him, Winst held his legs in her hands, with her humongous Octobomber companion towering behind her, eyeing the Octocopter. She glanced at the metal poles, smirked, and crushed them in her fists. Winst lobbed Jerry's legs off the side of the Octo Valley cliff as casually as if it were a soda can.

Grinning masochistically, she laughed and taunted, "Did you need those?"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Jerry screeched in pain as he rolled around on the floor.

Winst slapped her hands together and spun around, beaming. "Music to my ears. Oh, the sound of an Octavio drone shriveling, dying at my feet-"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Jerry screeched again.

Barro the Octobomber suddenly perked up. "Ugh! Ugh ugh!"

Winst's eye twitched. "Like I was saying, and now, with you out of the-"

"AaAaAaA," Jerry sang, "Aye yai!"

Winst's arms dropped to her side as she screamed, "Shut up! You're ruining this moment!"

The two other Octarians stayed silent. Barro was shivering and blubbering to himself, while Jerry laid back on the ground with the smuggest of grins.

Winst turned around and glared down at the Octocopter, fists clenched. "You irritating- Hey!"

Much to Winst's shock, Jerry grinned back up at her, and the other Octoling was nowhere to be found. Winst did a double-take, staring harder at the rocky ground as if Chi had gone invisible.

Without hesitation, Winst pulled the leg-less and blade-less Jerry off from the ground by his skin. "Where is Chi, you drone?"

"Getting help to take you out," Jerry replied simply, "You're finished."

Winst's expression soured. Holding Jerry with one hand, she took her free fist and decked him with it. Jerry grunted but stayed as firm and sturdy as he could. She punched him again, then again, and once more, until Jerry was considerably more purple than he was red. With a split lip, Jerry tried to smile back at her, but as soon as he grinned, a small stream of ink popped from his lip. The ink splattered onto Winst's face, much to her anger.

"Look at that, positivity does pay off!" Jerry mumbled through sore lips.

Enraged, Winst wound her fist up for one last punch, when Barro stepped beside her and tapped her on the shoulder.

Barro cooed, "Bluh, uh, uh."

"What?" Winst arched an eyebrow, "Keep him alive? But for whaaaaaat, Barro?"

Barro stared across the rocks. Winst and Jerry turned and gazed across the rocks. In the distance, Chi was a worm inching along the rocks, getting closer and closer to the shack. Though on her hands and knees, she was making good time, despite dragging one of her legs on the ground as she crawled.

"Octavio," Barro blubbered with a nod of his head, "Bluh uh."

Winst smiled. "That's one charming idea big guy, but I think I can make it even better. Hey, Chi!"

Chi stopped on a rock, turned, and gasped in shock. Across the canyon's rocky wall, Winst stood holding Jerry up by his Octocopter helmet. Jerry smiled despite his bruised eye and split lip and managed to wink at Chi, that which nearly made her tear up on the spot.

"Stay there. We'll come to you!" Winst called.

"Run!" Jerry shouted suddenly.

At the tone, Chi looked from them, then to the shack. Biting her lip, Chi stared down hard at the ground. She let herself drop to the earth, where she laid and waited on her side, helplessly gazing back at the other Octarians. As Jerry's smile disappeared, Winst gained a smirk of her own. Jerry in tow, she climbed atop Barro's tentacle as he lifted off and floated towards Chi.

"How thoughtful of you," Winst cooed, squeezing her own cheeks, "You're just as thoughtful as I remember you."

"Please, don't hurt him anymore," Chi pleaded.

"Anything for you," Chi replied sweetly as she flung Jerry off the cliff.

* * *

"You need to listen to me, they're coming after you!" Chi shouted desperately.

Mai rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you did, and you really sucked."

Chi tried to break out, but the fishbowl she was enclosed in was too tight. Try as she might, even her octopus form could not break out from the small glass orb. The lid on top was stubborn. Each attempt she made at trying to uncap it from the inside was met with little success. All she could do was rock the fishbowl slightly on top of the couch. Sitting in front of her on the floor, Mai was sitting cross-legged in an oversized shirt and baggy trousers. She tapped fidgeted with the explosive curiously.

"So, what were you planning on doing with this?" Mai questioned as she tapped it.

Chi shook her head, which was not saying much given her space. "Please, the rebels will be coming to check on me any minute! You need to get out of here!"

"Uh-huh, and I should trust you because?" Mai asked as she pursed her lips, "Who wrote this message on this, your girlfriend?"

"Winst, she's a horrible person. I'm telling the truth! I'm part of Octavio's army!"

Mai froze up. For a second, anyway. She laughed and shook her head at Chi.

"Cool, yeah, sure," Mai spoke with a laugh.

"My codename is C-H1! I was admitted into the force recently! I'm from Kettletown 150-"

Mai sighed and rolled her eyes. "So?"

"My commanding officer codename is 4U55-13! I'm telling the truth! I'm roommates with T-41! I-"

Mai dropped the bomb on the floor where it made a clank sound. "Huh?"

* * *

Chi screamed. Without his propellor, Jerry could only flail what little stubs of his limbs he had left. As he fell, he glanced back at Chi, worry plain on his face. Chi dragged herself to the edge of the canyon, shredding her armor and shirt as well as her midriff, clambering for one last glimpse. She never got it, as almost immediately Jerry was gone.

"I'll let gravity take care of the rest," Winst replied with a wink of her own.

Crying, Chi slammed the palm of her hand down on the rock. Pebbles dislodged from the impact fell and tumbled down into the abyss of the canyon. Winst, on the other hand, was ecstatic. Clapping at the spectacle, she walked over to the sobbing Octoling and smiled at her.

"Phew, look at that! Like a stone," Winst said with a laugh, "He's gone!"

"Ugh!" Chi grunted, throwing a punch through the tears.

Winst caught the fist immediately. With barely any effort, she pushed the fist back into Chi's chest, then gripped her by her tattered shirt. Sadistic grin now enlarged, Winst slapped Chi, who flinched from the attack.

"I love it when you play hard to get, but this isn't the time. Come, after we splat that witch in there, we'll show the world that the Amphio Alliance is nothing to trifle with!" Winst cheered, making her way back to Barro.

"No! I'll never go back!" Chi screamed.

Winst slapped her again. "You don't have a choice, do you?"

Slinging her over her back effortlessly, Winst made her way back to Barro while Chi stained her shoulder with tears. Barro extended her tentacle down to her, which Winst took in her hand politely. Her face now stained with tears, Chi shut her eyes tight and braced herself as Barro began to take off.

Barro hummed, "Bluh, bluh."

"Take us away, Barro!" Winst screamed with glee.

With a nod, Barro's propellers spun rapidly and his tentacles flapped. As they took off, Winst pushed Chi off her back on top of Barro and retrieved her weapon, taking it in her hand. Turning, they began to approach the house with Winst aiming. Barro spat out a bomb as well, which soon exploded on the ground. Chi watched in horror as they advanced on the cabin.

Without hesitation, they fired upon the shack. Despite the weapons being constructed of metal and ink, they proved strong enough to lay waste to the unfortunately aged shack. The shack collapsed into a pile of debris. Chi's eyes were wide in terror as Barro and Winst chuckled to themselves. There was nothing left but planks, ruined furniture, and dust.

"Phew, that was one shell of a job you did on that old home."

Winst's smile was nothing short of chaotic. "Didn't I? Chi, you're coming back around!"

"Ah…" Chi whimpered in fear.

Winst frowned. "Wait a minute, since when did you sound all grown-up and threatening yet strangely enticing?"

Winst turned around, and found her nose stuck in a Bamboozler's nozzle. Finger pressed on the trigger of the bamboo weapon, an Octoling woman glared up at her, ready to shoot. Barro began to panic, blubbering back and forth as he tried to spit up a bomb. The woman stood tall and straight in spite of one of her legs being metallic.

"Try it and you won't be able to open your mouth to even eat," she replied, "Now give me the girl."

"What?" Winst stammered.

"The injured one. Give her, chop chop," she demanded, gesturing to Chi with her free hand.

"Mai...you're Mai," Chi found herself blurt out.

Smoothing down her navy blue jacket with her free hand, Mai looked up at Chi with a tired expression. "Yes ma'am, that's me."

Out of sheer shock, Chi let go of Barro's tentacle and landed into Mai's grasp. Before she could do anything, Chi felt herself slip into unconsciousness. Still aiming the weapon at the others, Mai heaved Chi over her shoulder.

"Alright, stay," Mai commanded as she walked backward.

Immediately, Mai tripped on a rock and landed on her back, much to the surprise of the others.

Mai frowned. "Ship."

The other Octarians sprung into action, firing shots of ink and lobbing bombs at her. Mai rolled out of the way(which on rocks wasn't very fun) all while she shielded Chi's body with her own. She sprung to her feet, cocked the Bamboozler, and fired straight shots at the two rebels while she picked up the pace and ran circles around them. As Barro launched a bomb at her, Mai reared back and kicked the bomb back into his face, where it exploded and knocked him back on the floor. Mai slid to cover, switched into an octopus, and landed behind a rather large rock with Chi in tow.

Chi's eyelids fluttered open slowly as she stared wistfully at the fight. "...Mrs. Inaba?"

"What's up?" Mai asked as she fired at the other Octarians.

Chi grunted. "I came to tell you something."

"You sure you don't want to take my other leg?" Mai teased as she stretched her other leg.

Chi squinted. Though she would not admit it, she was starting to wonder whether or not she was dead or if she was screwing with her. Before she could try to say anything else, Mai gasped and dropped to the ground. Chi wanted to scream again only to find her throat could not muster another word. A blot of foreign ink had tagged Mai's cheek and sizzled on her flesh. A shadow loomed over the both of them, and before they knew it, Winst and Barro were back. The two of them stood over Chi and Mai intimidatingly with their weapons aimed center for the downed Octolings.

"Ooh, feisty feisty," Winst cooed as she playfully puckered her lips, "What a cute display! You almost got me!"

"Yeah? If it makes you feel better, come a little closer, I'll really getcha there," Mai threatened while she leaned on the Bamboozler.

Winst laughed and aimed her weapon. Barro began to work up a spit.

"If you came to apologize, I've gotten over it," Mai shook her head, "Things you learn after a hundred-plus years."

Chi began to tear up again. "Your daughter…"

"Excuse me?" Mai inquired quickly.

Winst fired down at Chi, who could do nothing but block her face with her arms, expecting the acidic ink. Chi winced at the familiar sting, but the pain wore off quickly. Confused, Chi removed her arms and stared up at the bamboo pole extended over her. Acting quickly, Mai flicked the substance back up into Winst's face, much to her obvious discomfort.

"Bluh bluh!" Barro protested as he stepped over to help.

Mai grunted as she pushed herself up. Barro, now infuriated, spun around and prepared to fire another bomb.

"How did Portic do it again…?" Mai wondered to herself as she waved the Bamboozler by its nozzle.

With a "pop" noise, Barro shot out a bomb from his mouth. Within the span of a few seconds, Chi witnessed a miracle in action. Taking one step forward with her prosthetic limb, she twisted her body. Mai screamed a battle cry, twisted back, and swung the Bamboozler with all her might. The bamboo stick collided with the glass explosive and launched it back at Barro.

Barro scowled. "Bluh-bloh."

The bomb smashed into his face. Barro was launched backward, where he fell onto Winst, effectively knocking both of them over. As they landed on the ground in a daze, the two rebels tried to scramble to safety as the bomb flashed in their faces. Too late. The Splat Bomb exploded in a flash, launching the two away and with a burst of ink. The last thing Chi could hear of them was the anguished shouting of the two Amphio Alliance members as they vanished into the void.

"You did it. You're amazing," Chi managed as she gasped for breath.

"Not bad, huh?" Mai muttered as she fell to her knees, "What was that about Tai you were-"

Mai was cut off by the sound of snoring. Turning to her side, she stared down at Chi, now fast asleep on the rocks.

"Huh, that ain't a bad idea actually…" Mai murmured as her eyelids drooped.

Mai fell to the ground, and there the two Octolings snored together on the rocks.

* * *

Chi woke up on a soft cot underneath thin blankets. She woke up facing the same metallic ceiling she woke up to for the past few days, woke up feeling fine like she was where she needed to be. Rising slowly, she lifted the blanket off of her and gawked at herself. Chi was bandaged from top to bottom. She was suddenly aware of a soreness in her muscles.

It was then that the events of yesterday all flashed back to her. Eyes widening, Chi hurled herself out of bed despite her injuries and hobbled to the door of her room. It opened automatically as per the norm, but on the other side-

Chi felt herself tear up again. "You…"

"Yep, it's me."

Chi fell to her knees, clutching her face as tears ran down them. "I thought you were...I thought…"

Tai, Mai, and Jerry grinned back at her. "What?/Ah?/I'm alive!"

Overcome with emotion, Chi leaped up and launched herself at her friends, burying herself deep between the three of them. Truth be told, there were several questions going through her mind. She did not care in the slightest.

Everybody was right there where she needed them.

* * *

AN: The real April Fools is trying to write serious stuff in a story I dedicated to humor and adventure. That's what happens I guess. Also the fact I updated two days in a row.

Thanks, RealCoolDude for reviewing! I'm shocked and amazed that's your real username, it's like solving an acronym puzzle or deciphering the code of something from Codename K.N.D. I find your allegory analyzations quite intriguing.

(What, did you think I'd confirm them? Naaaah, they're allegories. They're just joooookes. Or are theeeeeeeey? Oooooooh.)

Jokes aside, thanks for reading fellas and ladies, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, and I'm tired.


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